the fifth step was a giant step in her pro- gress, taking her far- … · 2020-05-01 · this step...
TRANSCRIPT
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org
I am responsible
when anyone, anywhere, reach-es out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be
there, and for that I am respon-
sible.
life·line | \ ˈlīf-ˌlīn : 1. A rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water.
2. A thing on which someone depends for a means of escape from a difficult situation. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com
I approached the Fifth Step reluctantly. It was like
swallowing a bitter pill. I knew that it had to be done,
that it was best for me. But I didn't know why. My
choice of another person with whom to take the Fifth
Step would be quite different now, because I feel
that I have become a better judge of maturity and
mental sobriety. But the person I chose at that time
was a dear friend, at least on a superficial level, and
we seemed to have much in common. It is true that
she made it quite easy for me. Afterwards, I still did-
n't know why I had taken the Step. But I had done it!
I felt terrific relief, knowing that it was behind me and
that it was one Step I could say had been taken. It
was finished, I thought. Then the woman with whom
I had taken the Fifth Step seemed to have a relapse.
While she didn't drink, she became quite erratic and
frantic. All I could see, not having much maturity,
was that she was not as pleasant and nice as she
had been. One day she threatened me, in a veiled
way, with the knowledge she had acquired when I
took the Fifth Step with her. I could hardly believe it.
My husband was present at the time, and all I had to
do was glance at him to know that the threat wasn't
in my imagination. My first reaction was disbelief.
Then a great sorrow and compassion flowed through
me, that a human being could be so desperate for
reassurance. Only later did it occur to me that there
was absolutely no fear within me because of what
she knew about me or might possibly reveal. The
mere fact of having taken the Step had washed
away the hidden fear and the secret, exaggerated
guilts I had lived with. I realized that simply by taking
the Fifth Step my inability to see anything outside
myself had been removed. I now was able to think in
terms of another person. Then I started to under-
stand what this Step means: release from fear, in
order that we may begin. For until this release from
fear is effected we can't possibly find the freedom
that is vital for progress in our new way of life. The
Fifth Step isn't, after all, an ending. It is the beginning
- of truth, of reality, of living in the present, rather
than in the nightmarish past or frightening future.
J. V. Malawi, Africa http://www.silkworth.net/downloads/
pdf/1969grapevinearticlessteps.pdf
The Fifth Step was a giant step in her pro-gress, taking her far-ther than she realized
MAY 2020 Volume 44, #5
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2
A. A. Old-timers…On the
Fifth Step
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and
to another human being the exact
nature of our wrongs.
This is a tough step and takes
courage to do. It is, however, a
step that can be done if you make
sufficient effort. It is not new. The
Catholic church uses it in their
confessional and the psychiatrist
uses it.
Drinking is caused by inner con-
flicts and the only way to get rid of
these conflicts is to bring them out
in the open and destroy them.
Wrongs cause conflicts, hence the
necessity of this step.
Take the first phrase, “Admitted to
God.” How do you do this? First
learn humility so that you can ask
help in a humble manner. If you
have difficulty in admitting the ac-
tuality of a supreme power, work
on the premise that there might be
one. Once you get your mind in
tune with the infinite it is not diffi-
cult to realize that you have no se-
crets from God. “Admitted to our-
selves.” This can only be done
when we are honest with our-
selves. In this program it is folly to
try to kid yourself. Be ruthless in
your soul searching and come
clean. Great care should be taken
in choosing “another human be-
ing.” It must be someone you can
trust. Your lawyer, your doctor,
your priest or minister, another
A.A., or a friend; someone who will
act as a sounding board and keep
your confidence. Once you take
this step you will be astounded at
the relief you feel. The burden of
despair will be lifted from your
back and you will be free. It is es-
sential for every A.A. to realize the
importance of taking this 5th step.
By so doing, all enmities, resent-
ments and wrong thinking may be
cast out and we can continue to
the next step with a clear con-
science. It is advisable to repeat
this step from time to time be-
cause it is human to err and even
A.A.s are human. Bert T. , https://
bigbooksponsorship.org/articles-alcoholism-addiction-
12-step-program-recovery/aa-history/aa-oldtimerson-
step/
“We pocket our pride and go to it, illu-
minating every twist of character, eve-
ry dark cranny of the past. Once we
have taken this step, withholding noth-
ing, we are delighted. We can look
the world in the eye. We can be alone
at perfect peace and ease. Our fears
fall from us. We begin to feel the
nearness of our Creator. We many
have had certain spiritual beliefs, but
now we begin to have a spiritual expe-
rience. The feeling that the drink
problem has disappeared will often
come strongly. We feel we are on the
Broad Highway, walking hand in hand
with the Spirit of the Universe.”
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 75
And how it actually ends...
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 3
Q - What happened to your
sponsor, Ebby?
A - It was Ebby who brought me the message that saved my life and
uncounted thousands of others. Because of gratitude and old friend-
ship, my wife Lois and I invited Ebby to live at our home shortly after I
sobered up. The son of a well-to-do family in Albany, he had never
learned any profession so he was broke and had to begin all over.
These were difficult circumstances, naturally.
Ebby stayed with us something like a year and a half. Being intent on getting re-established in life, he took
little interest in helping other alcoholics. Little by little, he commenced the rationalization we have seen so
often. He began to say that if he had the right romance and the right job then things would be okay. At
length, he fell by the wayside. He would not mind if I tell this - it is a part of his story today.
For many years, my old friend Ebby was on the wagon and off. Sometimes he could stay sober for a year
or more. He tried living with Lois and me for another considerable period but apparently this was of no help.
Maybe we actually hindered him. As A.A. began to grow his position became difficult. For a long time
things went from bad to worse.
About six years ago the groups down in Texas decided to try their hand. Ebby was shipped non-stop to
Dallas and placed in an A.A. drying out place. In these new surroundings in Texas, far from his old failures,
he has made a splendid recovery. Excepting for one slip which occurred about a year after his arrival down
there he has been bone dry ever since. This is one of the deepest satisfactions that has ever come to me
since A.A. started and many another A.A. can say the same. © (N.C.C.A. 'Blue Book,' Vol.12, 1960) http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/
LETS_ASK_BILL/Ebby2.htm
Let's Ask Bill
A.A. Members & Writings of: Ebby Thacher EBBY T., The Man Who Carried The Message To Bill W. - In 1960, at the Long Beach, California Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson wrote this dedication in an AA book that he gave to Ebby Thacher.—"Dear Ebby, No day passes that I do not remember that you brought me the message that saved me - and only God knows how many more. -In affection, Bill" Ebby had been enabled to bring me the gift of grace be-cause he could reach me at depth through the language of the heart. He had pushed ajar that great gate through which all in AA have since passed to find their freedom under God." -- Bill W., Grapevine
http://silkworth.net/pages/aahistory/member_writings/ebbythacher.php
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 4
“When we decide who is to hear
our story, we waste no time. We
have a written inventory and we
are prepared for a long talk.” Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73
“We are not therapists in AA where we need to analyze what sponsees say in any kind of pro-fessional way. AA does not send sponsors to school to learn how to hear 5th steps the correct AA way. Remember, the Big Book never even says you have tell your 5th step to a sponsor. Just think if you weren't in AA. Some friend could have just asked you hear her 5th step. What would you have done? Just listened, no? Maybe given some common sense feedback. Don't put pressure on yourself. Things always seem to have a way of working out. Must be that higher power thing.”
“I’m on the other end of this...working on my 4th and dreading my 5th....So i would be inter-ested in what others have felt their role is in "judging" or "pointing out"
or whatever to the person who is sharing their 4th step. it confuses me, cause i want to do this step right...want to be open to criticism, but I don't exactly see oth-er AA members as having exactly the skills to perceive and tell me what my "real" problem is.... That doesn't sound right. I don't know how to explain it… But like what someone else shared...he didn't say anything about telling the per-son sharing their 4th what defects they see... or how they see the self-ishness and self-centeredness dis-played. Is the sponsor suppose to tell you that stuff, or are they sup-pose to just help you to see as much of it as you can for yourself?”
“If the person you are working with seems to be holding something back, try revealing some-thing shocking about yourself just to make them feel less shameful. It might even get you
some extra spiritual awakening as well.”
“Admitted to God, our-selves and another hu-man being the exact na-ture of our wrongs. My job is to listen. I don't judge or point out de-
fects. I do share a few of my wrongs during the step to show I'm not looking down on any one. That's just me
though.”
“I echo all suggestions and might add that I always make a point after we have finished the sharing, to read the 6TH and 7TH steps with the sponsee and recite the 7TH step prayer. I always make a point of asking the sponsee to tell me about their character traits that they are MOST PROUD OF and also those same traits that they feel oth-ers in their lives are appreciative of. Again my opinion, but I feel that it is important that we make it clear that no one is all bad or defective, there are many characteristics that will be enhanced as we lead a sober life.. In my opinion and based on several 5TH steps, as long as we come to-gether to take this important step with willing hearts and minds they always work out.”
“I found that my 5th step wasn't truly over until I heard one. There was magic in me sharing some of my horrors that I do not share in open meetings.”
“Any advice on working the 5th step with a sponsee? I will re-read the 4th and 5th steps just before meeting with her. I will pray for my HP to help me see the things/say the things I need to. Any advice from those of you who have ex-perience doing this? I think I'm a little nervous.”
“Well here are some-things we do. I tell them that it is a privilege for me to hear it and i reaffirm confidentiality. I always allow enough time...it may be lengthy. Normally if i get the privilege to hear it ill go for a whole day clear, give or take. I have an hour of prayer and meditation before, I suggest to the sponsee that they do the same, as well as afterwards. I also ask that they call me that evening or that we meet up again within 24hrs. I ask them if they have any dark corners or stuff they have omitted. I will then pray for said person and thank God for putting me in the right place at the right time.”
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/203753-working-step-5-w-sponsee.html
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 5
Ebby’s Neat Little Formula
Part of Bridging the Gap between a treatment program and A.A. is the Temporary Contact Program, which is designed to help the alcoholic in an alcoholism treatment program make that transition. As you know, one of the more “slippery” places in the journey to sobriety is between the door of the facility and the nearest A.A. group or meeting. Some of us can tell you that, even though we heard of A.A. in treatment, we were too fearful to go. A.A. experience suggests that attending meetings regularly is critical. In order to bridge the gap, A.A. members have volunteered to be temporary contacts and in-troduce newcomers to Alcoholics Anonymous. Treatment facilities typically emphasize the importance of having a tempo-rary contact as the essential link between treatment and recovery. It is suggested that the temporary contact take the new-comer to a variety of A.A. meetings; introduce him or her to other A.A.s; insure that he or she has the phone numbers of sev-eral A.A. members, and share the experience of sponsorship and a home group.
A few days after Bill Wilson entered Towns Hospital
(December 11, 1934) he was visited by his sponsor-
to-be, Ebby Thacher. Ebby reiterated his “neat little
formula,” which was initially discussed at the “kitchen
table“ meeting several weeks previous at 182 Clinton
Street. Though agnostic, Bill was completely deflated
and willing to try anything that would release him
from the powerful grip of alcoholism—his physician,
Dr. Silkworth, had diagnosed him to die or become
insane within a year.
The Ebby’s neat little formula is ingrained in our
Twelve Step program of action today. It was: Admit
you are licked (Step One); Get honest with yourself
(Step Four), Talk it out with somebody else (Step
Five); Make restitution to the people you have
harmed (Steps Eight and Nine); Try to give of your-
self without stint, with no demand for reward (Step
Twelve); Pray to whatever God you think there is,
even as an experiment (Step Eleven).* Bill actually
put these ideas into action on page 13 of the Big
Book, and, of course, there accordingly followed his
well-known spiritual experience revealed on the next
page.
But Bill, the ardent agnostic, still had doubts whether
this amazing event was truly a spiritual experience—
perhaps it was only an illusionary hallucination or
perhaps the effect of medication. But as fate would
have it, he was brought—just at that time—a book
titled, “Varieties of Religious Experience, by William
James, who was the father of modern psychology, no
less. His immediate identification with the persons in
this writing gave him confidence that Ebby’s neat lit-
tle formula was indeed in manifest! He came to be-
lieve that his experience was indeed spiritual!
Bill believed! But why should we believe? Bill had an
overwhelming desire regain his once highly respect-
ed status on Wall Street, but upon release from
Town’s Hospital, December 18th, 1934, he headed
for the Calvary Mission instead. His new modus op-
erandi was of a single purpose: to help other alco-
holics recover—Wall Street was placed on the back
burner! He brought a derelict from Calvary Mission
to his elegant home, fed him, prayed with him, ex-
plained Ebby’s neat little formula to him, but the poor
sot got drunk, as did the next and the next and many
to follow through the next four months, but Bill never
gave up! He was an unstoppable steam roller!
Whatever his motive, it cannot be argued but what he
had experienced a personality change. What does
that prove? Please read the first paragraph of Ap-
pendix II, which speaks of: ”. . . a personality change
sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism.”
Bill Wilson never drank again! Ebby’s neat little for-
mula worked! AA Comes of Age (p 62-63). By Bob S., Richmond, IN
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 6
IncredIble benefIts of AA’s 5th step
In The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions,
Bill Wilson explains the benefits of
thoroughly completing a 5th step. The
fifth step of the 12 step recovery pro-
gram states that we, “Admitted to
God, to ourselves, and to another hu-
man being the exact nature of our
wrongs.” This vital exercise begins to
provide emotional, mental and spir-
itual relief. By sharing wrong with a
trusted confidant, guilt and shame
start to melt away. Newcomers begin
to realize their troubled past isn’t as
unique as once thought.
For many newcomers to sobriety,
the steps look like a tall order. I re-
member, at a very young age, reading
the steps where I went to church. Too
young to understand their purpose, I
remember thinking whoever prac-
ticed those steps must be pretty ex-
treme. Even as an upcoming alcoholic
in grade school, I knew the steps
sounded a little…well… cultish.
Even the Big Book addresses the
neurotic newcomer exclaim-
ing, “What an order! I can’t go
through with it.” Truth be told, the
steps are extreme. Unfortunately ad-
diction is, by its very nature, excep-
tionally extreme. And alcohol addic-
tion is no exception. To arrest an ex-
treme illness, a treatment that em-
ploys drastic measures must be taken.
A lot of sober newcomers bounce
out of the program after the 3rd step.
The ones that do make it through the
4th step hit snags on the 5th step be-
cause it demands rigorous honesty.
That’s rigorous, not partial honesty or
mostly honest… rigorous honesty!
Both painful and rewarding, the
5th step is essential to the fundamen-
tal change of personality required to
overcome alcohol addiction. In its
simplest form, the fifth step is simply
a confession of personal wrong-
doings. Confession is a long standing
practice in the Judeo/Christian tradi-
tion, and alcoholics usually store a
vast collection of closet skeletons. By
sharing the depths of their conscience
with another person, alcoholics allow
fresh air to enter their soul’s closely-
guarded closet of shameful skeletons.
The original architects of the 12
steps wove the powerful, spiritual tra-
dition of confession for a reason. It is
effective. It is healing. It is one of the
most valuable tools to alleviate past
burdens. As Bill Wilson notes:
“If we have swept the search light
of Step Four back and forth over our
careers, and it has revealed in stark
relief those experiences we’d rather
not remember, if we have come to
know how wrong thinking and action
have hurt us and others, then the
need to quit living by ourselves with
those tormenting ghosts of yesterday
gets more urgent than ever. We have
to talk to somebody about
them.” (12×12, pg.55).
This is precisely what the 5th Step
of the 12 step process requires of
those who genuinely desire sobriety –
a candid discussion in light of a 4th
step inventory. Although the word
“required” repels many an alcoholics,
Bill Wilson further warns that
“without a fearless admission of our
defects to another human being we
could not stay sober.” (12×12, pgs.
56&57). Obviously, staying sober is a
prerequisite for meaningful, fulfilling
recovery.
But personal admission of one’s
checkered past offers more than
mere relief. The Big Book states that
the fifth step, if conducted fearlessly
and thoroughly, reveals unhealthy
patterns of behavior. Destructive be-
haviors reflect underlying character
defects, the engine that drives off-the
-wall actions. Before freshly-sober
members can begin to address these
core issues, they must undertake an
identification process to understand
their precise nature.
Of course, personal admission of a
rag-tag past is sobering in and of it-
self. As Wilson points out, however,
meaningful insights offer the poten-
tial to initiate a purging of core issues
that drive alcoholics to drink. Incredi-
ble emotional and mental relief, cou-
pled with profound personal insight,
makes the fifth step a valuable exer-
cise for anyone. Successful comple-
tion marks a return to sanity, or a
clear recognition of who and what we
are.
For most with a truly self-addicted
mind, the 12 step recovery process
provides an invaluable method to rid
oneself of self pity, emotional entan-
glements, delusions of grandeur and
‘playing the victim.’ Step Five initiates
the change. But remember, there are
seven steps to go!
https://discoveryplace.info/12-step/incredible-benefits-
of-aas-5th-step/
*Parts of this article have been edited for spatial pur-
poses.
The Fifth Step
is More Than
Just Relief
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 7
https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-43_thetwelvetradiillustrated.pdf
Every newcomer learns (some of us the hard way) that the business of staying sober
must have top priority. If we fail at that, we can’t succeed at anything else. The Fifth
Tradition tells us that groups should remember their “one primary purpose.” Often, un-
thinking enthusiasm puts a group off the main track. One, for instance, offered an
“expanded A.A. program” that included helping newcomers to find jobs. Tradition Five
doesn’t frown on the individual A.A. who tells another about a good opening. But when
the group turns itself into an employment agency, newcomers may get confused about
their primary purpose. A.A.’s function is to help them get sober—then they can find
work for themselves. Using discretion, a member may lend a few dollars needed for a
meal or a hotel room, or may even invite a broke alcoholic to be a temporary house-
guest. But the A.A. group as a whole is not a friendly finance company, nor a welfare
department, nor a housing bureau. Even when acting on their own, as individual mem-
bers, A.A. lay people certainly shouldn’t award themselves honorary medical degrees
and hand out diagnoses and prescriptions and amateur analysis of other people’s neu-
roses. Exactly because this personal failing is so common, the A.A. group in all its
dealings should be extra careful to emphasize that it is not invading the medical field.
Through the personal experiences of its members, it is qualified to carry only one mes-
sage: how an alcoholic can recover in A.A. That’s all. Yet one group recently felt itself
equipped to set up an “alcoholism information center.” The temptation is understanda-
ble; it was even stronger at the time this Tradition was written, because public igno-
rance about alcoholism as an illness was more widespread than it is now. Since then,
other agencies have sprung up to assume the task of educating the general public on
alcoholism. That is not A.A.’s purpose, but these agencies also are trying to help the
active alcoholic. They are our friends—and Tradition Six marks the boundaries of the
relationship.…
TRADITION FIVE: Each group has but one primary purpose...to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 8
In his seventieth year, and on the twenty-first of March, my friend and sponsor "Ebby" passed be-yond our sight and hearing.
On a chill November afternoon in 1934 it was Ebby who had brought me the message that saved my life. Still more importantly, he was the bearer of the Grace and of the principles that shortly afterward led to my spiritual awakening. This was truly a call to new life in the Spirit. It was the kid of rebirth that has since become the most pre-cious possession of each and all of us.
As I looked upon him where he lay in perfect repose, I was stirred by poignant memories of all the years I had known and loved him.
There were recollections of those joyous days in a Vermont boarding school. After the war years we were sometimes together, then drinking of course. Alcohol, we thought, was the solvent for all dif-ficulties, a veritable elixir for good living.
Then there was that absurd epi-sode of 1929. Ebby and I were on an all-night spree in Albany. Sud-denly we remembered that a new airfield had been constructed in Vermont, on a pasture near my own home town. The opening day was close at hand. Then came the intoxicating thought: If only we could hire a plane we'd beat the opening by several days, thus making aviation history ourselves! Forthwith, Ebby routed a pilot friend out of bed, and for a stiff price we engaged him and his small craft. We sent the town fa-thers a wire announcing the time of our arrival. In midmorning, we
took to the air, greatly elated -- and very tight.
Somehow our rather tipsy pilot set us down on the field. A large crowd, including the village band and a welcoming committee, lustily cheered his feat. The pilot then deplaned. But nothing else hap-pened, nothing at all. The onlook-ers stood in puzzled silence. Where were Ebby and Bill? Then the horrible discovery was made -- we were both slumped in the rear cockpit of the plane, completely passed out! Kind friends lifted us down and stood us upon the ground. Whereupon we history-makers fell flat on our faces. Igno-miniously, we had to be carted away. The fiasco could not have been more appalling. We spent the next day shakily writing apolo-gies.
Over the following five years, I sel-dom saw Ebby. But of course our drinking went on and on. In late 1934 I got a terrific jolt when I learned that Ebby was about to be locked up, this time in a state men-tal hospital.
Following a serious of mad sprees, he had run his father's new Pack-ard off the road and into the side of a dwelling, smashing right into its kitchen, and just missing a terri-fied housewife. Thinking to east this rather awkward situation, Eb-by summoned his brightest smile and said, "Well, my dear, how about a cup of coffee?"
Of course Ebby's lighthearted hu-mor was quite lost on everyone concerned. Their patience worn thin, the town fathers yanked him into court. To all appearances, Eb-by's final destination was the in-
sane asylum. To me, this marked the end of the line for us both. On-ly a short time before, my physi-cian, Dr. Silkworth, had felt obliged to tell Lois there was no hope of my recovery; that I, too would have to be confined, else risk in-sanity or death.
But providence would have it oth-erwise. It was presently learned that Ebby had been paroled into the custody of friends who (for the time being) had achieved their so-briety in the Oxford Groups. They brought Ebby to New York where he fell under the benign influence of AA's great friend-to-be, Dr. Sam Shoemaker, the rector of Calvary Episcopal Church. Much affected by Sam and the "O.G." Ebby promptly sobered up. Hearing of my serious condition, he had straight-way come to our house in Brooklyn.
As I continued to recollect, the vi-sion of Ebby looking at me across our kitchen table became wonder-fully vivid. As most AAs know, he spoke to me of the release from hopelessness that had come to him (through the Oxford Groups) as the result of self-survey, restitu-tion, outgoing helpfulness to oth-ers, and prayer. In short, he was proposing the attitudes and princi-ples that I used later in developing AA's Twelve Steps to recovery.
It had happened. One alcoholic had effectively carried the mes-sage to another. Ebby had been enabled to bring me the gift of Grace because he could reach me at depth through the language of the heart. He had pushed ajar that great gate through which all in AA have since passed to find their freedom under God. Copyright © The A.A.
Grapevine, Inc., June 1966
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 9
IT HAPPENED IN MAY. . . May 1919 - Bill returns home from service.
(Dec 1934 to) May 1935 - Bill works with alcoholics, but fails to sober any of them. Lois reminds him HE is still sober.
March-May 1938 - Bill begins writing the book Alcoholics Anonymous.
May 1939 - Lois W Home Replacement Fund started at Alcoholic Foundation.
May 1949 - The first AA meetings in Scotland were held in Glasgow and Edinburgh.
May 1950 - Nell Wing became Bill W's secretary.
May 1951 - Al-Anon is founded by Lois W. and Anne B.
May 1, 1939 - Bank forecloses on 182 Clinton Street. (sometimes reported as April 26, 1939)
May 1, 1940 - Rollie H, Cleveland Indians, first anonymity break on national level.
May 1, 1941 - The first Wisconsin AA meeting was held at a hotel in Milwaukee.
May 2, 1941 - Jacksonville, FL newspaper reported the start of an AA group in Jacksonville.
May 3, 1941 - The first AA group in New Orleans, Louisiana, was formed. (sometimes dated as May 2, 1943)
May 4, 1940 - Sunday Star reported founding of first AA group in Washington, DC.
May 6, 1939 - Clarence S of Cleveland told Dr. Bob, his sponsor, he would not be back to Oxford Group meetings in Akron and would start an "AA" meeting in Cleveland.
May 6, 1946 - The long form of the "Twelve Traditions" was published in the AA Grapevine.
May 8, 1943 - Akron AA Group celebrates 8th anniversary with 500 present and sober.
May 8, 1971 - Bill W buried in private ceremony, East Dorset, Vermont.
May 10, 1939 - Clarence S announced to the Akron Oxford Group members that the Cleveland members were starting a meeting in Cleveland and calling it Alcoholics Anonymous.
May 11, 1935 - Bill W made calls from the Mayflower Hotel and was referred to Dr. Bob.
May 12, 1935 @ 5 pm - Bill W met Doctor Bob at the home of Henrietta Seiberling.
May 17, 1942 - The Dayton Journal Herald published pictures of AA members wearing masks to protect their anonymity.
May 17, 1942 - New Haven, Conn paper has article on AA. Picture shows faces of members sitting in a circle.
May 19, 2000 - Dr. Paul O., Big Book story "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict", (renamed "Acceptance Was the Answer" in the 4th edition) died at the age of 83.
May 29, 1980 - "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" was published.
http://www.a-1associates.com/aa/HISTORY_PAGE/significant_dates.htm
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 11
A message from the Area 29 Chair
The next meeting of the
SMIA will be held on-line at:
https://zoom.us/
j/99982597908?
pwd=QzVLcUZrVHdacFIrYU
NZN21tdkluQT09,
May 9th at 10:00 AM
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 12
General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous issued a notice regarding the COVID-19 (coronavirus)
and in it suggests local meeting alternatives as well as some good practices from shared experience on
how to address this issue. As you know, many meetings are temporarily closed and contingency plans
may need to be considered including creating contact lists and keeping in touch by phone, email or social
media, meeting by phone or online. Or try one of many online resources:
• Online AA meetings – A.A. Online Intergroup
• Speaker Tape websites – AA Speaker, Recovery Audio
• Speaker Tape apps – Google Play | iTunes
• Big Book Ultimate Companion – Google Play | iTunes
• Joe and Charlie – Google Play | iTunes
• Tons of meetings here - http://aa-intergroup.org/index.php
• Meetings in Spanish - https://es.groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/AAMensaje/info
Difficult times come to us all. We must all help one another. We must stand with one another. We must be understanding of each other’s problems. We must share each other’s burdens. https://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/
Grapevine and La Viña are here to help
Due to the current changing health situation, many AA meetings across the U.S. and Cana-
da are finding it safer to close. To help members during this time, we are giving every-
one free access to all of our 2020 Grapevine and La Viña issues. (The audio to Grape-
vine’s stories will be available as well, so people can listen to the stories if they like.)
Please share with your fellows. We have also included a link to our Youtube channel with
some original audio stories as well as other important information. To enter, vis-
it: www.aagrapevine.org/we-are-here-to-help
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 13
https://
play.google.com/
store/apps/details?
id=com.newandromo.
dev359899.app608979
Thanks to Bill L., our talented web wiz-
ard, SMIA now has a mobile applica-
tion! A compact version of the content
available on our website, it’s only
available on the Android OS for now.
However, it’s a work in progress, so
please take a peek and if you have any
suggestions for improvements, send
them to:
The next meeting of the SMIA
will be held on-line at:
https://zoom.us/
j/99982597908?
pwd=QzVLcUZrVHdacFIrYUNZ
N21tdkluQT09 on May 9th at
10:00 AM
Hope to virtually
see you there!
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 14
“And above all, let us remember that great legions who still suffer from alcoholism
and who are still without hope. Let us, at any cost or sacrifice, so improve our com-
munication with all these that they may find what we have found.”
This is an open AA meeting oriented toward Older Adult (55+) issues, but all ages are welcomed. The for-mat is an open discussion based on the day’s reading from Daily Reflections. We will meet twice per week: Mondays from 10:30 am to 11:30 am EDT/EST Thursdays from 2:00 pm to 3:00 pm EDT/EST Please join us via Zoom! You will need the Meeting ID and password. Meeting ID: 889 2298 5420 Password can be obtained via email at [email protected], [email protected], or by phone at 410-663-1922. You can also access the meeting by phone by dialing 1-646-876-9923, then entering the Meeting ID and Password. We hope to virtually see you there!
“Better with Age” (Adults 55+) AA Group Video Meeting
with Teleconference Option
New Meeting!
A MESSAGE FROM YOUR 2020-
2021 LIAISON COMMITTEE
This MGS Liaison Committee would love to have at least one person from each Intergroup on this committee. If that inter-ests you, please let us know, and we can set aside a separate meeting time solely for committee members. Keep us posted about local workshops and events, so that we can attend and spread the word. If you have guests or topics to discuss on the First Monday 6:30 p.m. Meeting, email us so we can get them on the calendar! Thank you for allowing us to serve.
NEXT CONFERENCE CALL: MAY 4, 2020 6:30pm
Please note the 2020 Dial-in # (712) 775-7465, then use Participant Code 581955
Jessica W., MGS Accessibilities Chair, will visit to tell us all about her activities with the Accessibilities Committee. Many new and exciting events are unfolding for A.A. because of the work done through this committee. The purpose of this call is to share difficulties and successes; we have a wealth of experi-ence, so consider bringing your questions and concerns to the whole group. Please continue to invite folks to participate and take advantage of our collective resources! If you want to elaborate on this purpose, share your successes and concerns, I invite you to do so. If you care to add this meeting your Inter-group website, that would be appreciated.
*MGS Panel 70 Officers: Cynthia T. - Delegate - [email protected]
Kurt W. - Alternate Delegate - [email protected]
Lori M. - Chairperson - [email protected]
Terry P. - Treasurer - [email protected]
Craig T. - Secretary - [email protected]
Tom H. - Chair [email protected]
Brian R. - Co-Chair [email protected]
Kathi K., Area 29 MGS Intergroup Liaison Chair
410-949-6456
Donna S., Area 29 MGS Intergroup Liaison Co-Chair
410-227-1049
Bill Wilson, The AA Grapevine, February 1961
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 18
RECOVERY.
You must be present to
win.
“Let us always
love the best in
others - and
never fear their
worst.” Bill Wilson,
The Language of the Heart
Staying connected to
a strong sober sup-
port network is criti-
cal to your staying
sober, which can
make the idea of hav-
ing to self-isolate for
weeks spark fear and
anxiety. To help you
better manage any
cravings or triggers that you may
encounter during this time, here
are what some individuals in re-
covery are doing to safeguard
their sobriety during this Corona-
virus crisis.
• “Every morning, I remind my-
self that there’s no problem in the
world that alcohol won’t make
worse.”
• “I’m calling old friends I have-
n’t spoken to in a while and catch-
ing up on life. It’s a great distrac-
tion from everything going on right
now and the perfect opportunity to
rekindle friendships.”
• “I’m getting through this with
the help of prayer. I’m glad to
have a higher power to give me
strength during this.”
• “Decluttering my
house. Who knew
finally cleaning out
my closet could be
so rewarding?”
• “Attending virtual
meetings has really
made all the differ-
ence for me. The
first couple of days
in isolation, I was really worried I
would relapse, but now I feel more
confident knowing that there are
others I can count on.”
• “I’ve been spending quality
time with my partner and my kit-
ten.”
• “Finding ways to be creative
has been a nice distraction from
the news. I’m no artist, but I’ve
been doing a lot of painting lately.
My tools for surviving this quaran-
tine are tea, meditation, and good
books.”
• “Doing at-home work-outs has
helped me manage my anxiety.
I’ve discovered that there’s a lot of
free workouts available online.”
• “Every day, no matter how un-
motivated I feel, I try out a new
recipe. My family has been loving
it.”
• “I start my morning by focus-
ing on the positive and writing in
my gratitude journal.”
• “Being in nature is a very im-
portant part of my recovery so I
start my mornings by taking a
walk in the park. I make sure to
go early so there’s no one
around.”
• “I’ve been listening to a lot of
podcasts and snuggling with my
dogs.”
• “Taking online classes online —
I’m finally taking the time to learn
French.”
• “Taking it one day at a time.
It’s important to remember that
practicing social distancing doesn’t
have to been that you cut yourself
off from the world. While you may
need to physically isolate yourself
from others, there are plenty of
ways for you to remain connected
to the greater community. Know
that you are never alone, so don’t
be afraid to speak out and reach
out for help when needed.” https://
toledoaameetings.com/15-ways-to-keep-staying-
sober-during-the-covid-19-crisis/
Staying
Sober
During
Covid 19
Isolation
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 19
May 2020
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2
3 4
Tony N., 2yr,
Monday Night
Traditions
5 6 7
Joyce S. 4yr.
Almost Normal
8 9
10 11
Gloria D. 28yr.
Lexington Park
12 13 14 15
Marc T. 7yr.
Cove Point
16
Jose L. 1yr.
Early Bird
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25
Tony V. 1yr.
Brown Bag
26 27
Kathy A. 27yr.
WNW
28 29 30
31
Tressie F., 36 yrs, Mount Harmony
Emily W., 3 yrs, 231 Group
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 20
June 2020
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30
Donna Z., 23 yrs, Hunting-town Noon
Angie S., 7 yrs, Lexington Park Big Book
Mike B., 3 yrs, More Will Be Revealed
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 23
1)All contributions can be made online:
www.somdintergroup.org/
donate.php
2) Or they can be mailed to the appro-
priate office:
General Service Office
P.O. Box 459
Grand Central Station
New York, NY 10163
Maryland General Service Inc.
PO BOX 8043
Elkridge, MD 21075
Southern Maryland Intergroup (SMIA)
P.O. Box 767
Charlotte Hall, MD 20622
District 1 Trust Fund (Calvert)
P.O. Box 234
Barstow, MD 20610
District 35 (Charles)
P.O. Box 1981
La Plata, MD 20646
District 36 (St. Mary’s)
P.O. Box 1334
California, MD 20619
ATTENTION GROUP TREASURERS:
*Remember to include the 6-digit GSO Group
Number on all correspondence to Maryland General
Service.
WHERE DO WE SEND OUR CONTRIBUTIONS?
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 24
DISTRICT 1 CALVERT COUNTY
District Meeting:
7 PM, 3rd Monday
St. Paul’s Episc.
Church
Prince Frederick, MD
District 1 Trust Fund
PO Box 234
Barstow, MD 20610
www.calvertaa.org
DISTRICT 35 - CHARLES
COUNTY
OPEN SERVICE POSITIONS:
• Hospitality Chair
• Communications Chair
• Grapevine Rep
District Meeting: 7 PM, 1st Thursday
Peace Lutheran Church Waldorf MD
PO Box 1981, La Plata, MD 20646
Please send any updates for the
Where & When to:
[email protected]. Current meeting
guides are availa-ble at the
monthly SMIA meeting on a lim-
ited basis.
DISTRICT 36 - ST. MARY'S COUNTY
District Meeting: 6:30 PM
2nd Tuesday
@ Hollywood Rescue Squad Bldg.,
PO Box 1334, California, MD 20619
PLEASE REMEMBER: Most meetings in physical locations
have been cancelled until further notice. Please take ad-
vantage of online resources, phones, text, email, etc. to con-
nect with your Home Groups, sponsors, sponsees, friends,
newcomers and the local AA community. https://wtop.com/coronavirus/2020/03/coronavirus-
The next meeting of the SMIA will
be held on-line at:
https://zoom.us/j/99982597908?
pwd=QzVLcUZrVHdacFIrYUNZN21
tdkluQT09 on May 9th at 10:00 AM
SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 25
Two women, one recently wid-
owed, were chatting:
"Yes, he was a good man,
except when he drank. Then
he wouldn't work, hit the kids,
hit me...carried on with loose
women. Then the drink killed
him"
“Tsk! Tsk! Sooo, he didn't
like AA?"
"Oh Lord no! He never went
there - he wasn't that bad."
Chair: Bill L.
Vice Chair: Jeanine W.
Secretary: Tressie F.
Treasurer: Cora W.
Parliamentarian: Keenan W.
Where & When: Pat P.
Lifeline: Keith H.
Telephone: Sheri M.
Website: Bill L.
Bookstall: Keenan W.
“Our leaders are but trust-
ed servants, they do not
govern.”
Our primary purpose is to help
the still suffering alcoholic. SMIA
is committed to this principle and
provides a 24x7 Telephone Ser-
vice. We need phone volunteers!
Go to our website,
www.somdintergroup.org. Click
on the Phone List link, complete
the online form - this is a secure
method to add your name to the
12-Step Call List. This protected
information is only shared with
the Phone Committee Chair. You
will be amazed before you’re half
way through.
County Want to
Talk Need a Ride
Meeting Info
Other* Total Calls
Calvert
Charles
St. Mary’s
Not Speci-fied
Total Calls
SMIA
PHONE
REPORT
APRIL
2020
The Lifeline is an unofficial
newsletter published by South-
ern Maryland Intergroup Associ-
ation, Inc. Any opinions ex-
pressed are those of the writers.
They are not endorsed by
SMIA, any group or AA as a
whole. Group secretaries and
individuals are encouraged to
send group news, anniversaries
and events. Material may be ed-
ited for space and content.
Please send all Lifeline corre-
spondence to: somdlife-
THE DEADLINE FOR ALL LIFE-
LINE SUBMISSIONS IS THE 27th
OF EACH MONTH.
SMIA TEAM:
"The good we do today becomes the hap-piness of tomorrow." ~ William James
http://www.the-twelve-steps.com/tattoos--recovery-art-galleries.html
ACROSS
1 AWAKENING
3 WRONGS
7 RESULT
11 SPIRITUAL
13 EXACT
16 CONSCIOUS
18 DIRECT
19 REMOVE
20 POWERLESS
21 ENTIRELY
24 CAME TO BELIEVE
27 RESTORE
30 UNMANAGEABLE
33 PROMPTLY
37 CONTACT
38 WHEREVER
39 ASKED
40 WILLING
41 MESSAGE
DOWN
2 NATURE
3 WILL
4 CONTINUED
5 MADE
6 LIST
7 READY
8 SEARCHING
9 ADMITTED
10 AFFAIRS
12 HARMED
14 OURSELVES
15 HUMBLY
17 SHORTCOMINGS
22 DEFECTS
23 INVENTORY
25 PRINCIPLES
26 EXCEPT
28 SANITY
29 FEARLESS
31 ALCOHOL
32 IMPROVE
34 PRAYING
35 POWER
36 AMENDS
HERE ARE
THE STEPS
WE TOOK