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I* +,# (&-#.* /&.'-, ,"(0* transitions are generally described

in physiological terms. 1e major transitions could be said to be birth, puberty, the onset of menstruation for women, family rearing and child bearing years, cessation of menstruation, —again for women — and death. 1e transitions that occur between birth and death are described in terms of hormonal changes. 1e study of hormones is a rich and marvelous, if complicated, undertaking and serves to help us understand what is happening in the body and emotions, but does not necessarily contextualize these transitions in a meaningful way, nor contribute deep insight into why transitions happen easily for some and with di2culty for others. For this, it is helpful to look to Eastern traditions such as Ayurveda.

Ayurvedic classics are written in Sanskrit; in archaic, seemingly random poetic verses that range in material from sublime to mundane. Unlike English and e-English, ripe with italic and bold fonts and e-glyphs, Sanskrit has no punctuation. Not surprisingly, it is somewhat di2cult to navigate these ancient classics and sort out what is most important from what is simply included for reference. 1ankfully, there

are guidelines. One such guideline, the principle of upakrama upasangharaikya, indicates that what is written in the first lines and first chapters of a text is of greatest importance. 1ey are to be understood well and applied to the learning and practice of what comes in subsequent lines or chapters. Within India, there are four aims of life that are emphasized in the first chapters in two out of the three main treatises on Ayurveda.1

My mentors cleverly associated the four aims of life with the classic four stages of life. Taken together, they deliver a vision of a well-rounded, rich life. To understand the four aims and stages helps us acquire the proper perspective with which to approach the study of life and health.

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You must distinguish between truth and falsehood; you must learn to be true all through, in thought and word and deed.

J. Krishnamurti

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Dave Barry

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T,0*3! +& &". 4&50 6'0!!#!, George Harrison, “Dharma and

Greg,” “Dharma Initiatives,” and other pop culture references, most of us are familiar with the word, dharma. We think it has something to do with duty (with a punitive connotation), teaching, natural law, inherent nature, religion, knowing our Purpose, Calling, God-given mission, etc.

Regardless of the translation, newcomers to the idea of dharma tend to equate it, for all practical purposes, with “career,” with what we “do.” Understanding dharma in this light, people tend to ask questions like, “What is my dharma?” or “Can you help me find my dharma?” 1e question is often accompanied with angst around a lack of purpose or direction in life; usually the question boils down to, “What should I do with my life?”

Unfortunately, this perspective may be confusing the point at best and possibly missing it entirely. Dharma emphasizes how we are over what we do in life.

In the modern world, our determination to identify with what we do in life is prevalent and commonly reflected in our language through state-

THE FOUR AIMS &THE FOUR STAGESOF LIFEDR. CLAUDIA WELCH

!is article is based on a Women’s Lives, Women’s Transitions seminar given by Dr. Welch in 2004 at the Ayurvedic Institute in New Mexico.

1AH:Sutrasthana: I: 2: “Persons desirous of (long) life which is the means for achieving dharma (righteousness), artha (wealth), sukha (happiness) [and sadhana, which is in the original shloka but not included in this translation] should repose utmost faith in the teachings of Ayurveda” Sukha means happiness and, in this context, includes both kama and moksha. And Charaka: Sutrasthana: I: 15-17:“Disease-free condition is the best source of virtue, wealth, gratification and emancipation…”

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Brahmacharis waiting in line for biksha at a sadhu bandhara. Uttarkashi, North India. April 2008. Photograph by Robert Moses.

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ments like, “I am a doctor,” “I am a teacher,” “I am a stay- at-home Mom,” “I am a painter.” Such comments reflect greater identity with my action than the statements, “I practice medicine” “I teach the fifth grade,” “I take care of my family,” or “I paint houses,” which are more accurate reflections of reality.

1is can be a problem because, if we hitch our identity to actions, we subject ourselves and our well being to the mercy of something that is impermanent and subject to external manipulation beyond our control. 1e infamous mid life crisis or a severe case of empty nest syndrome may often follow on the heels of this approach for years.

Consider the case of someone who has worked her entire life in a career. She feels successful. 1en she suddenly loses her job. Rather than seeing that what she did for so long has come to a close, she feels a wrenching pain; she herself is somehow threatened.

Whether or not our perception of reality is the truth, it may make little di8erence physiologically. Whether or not we really are threatened by a job loss, if we feel that we are, our physiology responds the same as it would if it were really true. 1is has a profound e8ect, dictating for example, when, where, what, and how many hormones are secreted. 1is, as we will see, e8ects women’s physiology tremendously and determines a certain physiological momentum.

To arrive at a more accurate understanding of dharma, we can look to the twentieth century saint, Kirpal Singh:

!e lists of the virtues to be inculcated and the vices to be discarded may vary from teacher to teacher but the purpose is ever the same. !us Manu explains the principles of sadachar or dharma in terms of his own categories.

!e practice of both yamas and niyamas–restraints and observances–make up sadachar or right conduct, which constitutes the bedrock of all the religions of the world. Manu gives us the essence of dharma as ahimsa, satya, asteyam, shaucham, indriya nigreha (harmlessness, truthfulness, right living, purity, and control of the senses).2

Kirpal Singh’s teaching emphasizes the ethical manner in which we move through life, rather than what we do as we move through it. He wrote that spiritual leaders within all religions have presented actions and qualities to be inculcated and those to be avoided. Examples are the Judeo-Christian tradition’s Ten Commandments, the Christian’s “golden rule” to love thy neighbor as thyself, and Patanjali’s system of yoga’s restraints and observances (yamas and niyamas).

It is not essential to be a member of an organized religion to practice ethical living. Indeed we may all be aware of religious figures who have provided examples of the opposite. 1ere is a personal nature to dharma that each of us needs to find for ourselves. When we ask questions like, “What is my dharma?” we are aware of this. 1is personal nature is reflected in statements like Lord Krishna’s, “It is better to strive in one’s own dharma than to succeed in the dharma of another. Nothing is ever lost in following one’s own dharma, but competition in another’s dharma breeds fear and insecurity.”3 To practice dharma, it may be essential to espouse and practice ethical guidelines that we come to understand and espouse through a process of introspection, inquiry, study and experimentation. Ben Franklin, for example, was not a great proponent of organized religion but, through the process of deep reflection, developed a list of thirteen “virtues and precepts”

that constituted his personal ethics.With these things in mind, personal

ethics may be a worthy translation of dharma.

Kalu Rinpoche, a Buddhist leader, has taught that dharma can be approached in one of three ways. 1e first is to abandon temporal life and meditate in solitude. 1e second is to live the life of a monk and teach dharma. 1e third, which is perhaps most accessible to the majority of us, is to remain in the world and continue temporal work “while developing faith, compassion, knowledge, and generosity, and… practicing the Dharma with ardor.”4 My spiritual teachers appreciated this view, asserting that one must “learn to swim while in water.” Practicing ethical living while surrounded by vice and distraction is a good deal more challenging than practicing it in a cave in the wilderness, but it can test our mettle and strengthen our ethical muscles, if we have the proper resolve.

Kalu Rimpoche teaches that, whichever of these three methods we choose, practicing dharma is associated with coming to terms with “conflicting emotions” in one manner or another. People who have not found a “spiritual path” or, we could say, have not adopted a personal ethical system, are in a more di2cult situation, when it comes to resolving conflict.5

If we again take the example of the woman who has lost her job–of course, it would present a challenge to most of us to feel a sense of equanimity upon being summarily downsized, or even to be let go from a position under the best of circumstances. It might be quite a bit more so if we don’t have an ethical framework established within which we choose to understand such challenges. If we do have such a framework, it still may take a little time to digest our emotions and shifting circumstances, but it will

2Kirpal Singh, 1e Crown of Life: A Study in Yoga, Ruhani Satsang, Delhi, 1961 (5th printing 1983). p. 273Gita 3:35 Eknath4Kalu Rinpoche, Excellent Buddhism: An Exemplary Life, Clearpoint Press, 1995. p. 73-765Excellent Buddhism p. 73-76 [One] must deal with the problem of conflicting emotions, whether by rejecting them, transforming them, or recognizing their essence. If someone cannot devote a lot of time to the formal practice of the Dharma, has many worldly preoccupations, and needs a method to reduce the emotions, he or she will find this a great help. It will make life easier and much su"ering will be avoided. On the contrary, the situation of people who have no spiritual path is a very di#cult one.

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be easier for us not to perceive them as a personal attack.

If we apply personal ethics moment by moment, we are planting viable seeds in optimal circumstances which will therefore be more likely to bear fruit. Provided we continue to live an ethical life, we will nurture those seeds as needed and the fruits are likely to be sweet. We may not know when we are planting those seeds, or how long it will take for them to come to fruition. We may not even be aware of the nature of the fruit they will bear. But fructify they will and then, and only then, will we see the fruits of our labor and understand the value of our work. Our e8orts are within our capabilities. 1e results are often not ours to know for some period of time, ranging from almost instantly (“instant karma”) to some future lifetime.

My mentors believed that each of us is here for a purpose. But it is not necessarily the case that we decide what that purpose is. 1at purpose is patiently revealed minute by minute, day by day, year by year, decade by decade. At the end of our lives, someone with eyes to see could reflect on the lives we lived and summarize for each of us our purposes here. But we don’t start out with that 20/20 hindsight vision. Many of us stumble blindly along the corridors of life.

But this isn’t a problem. Even if we are blind, we can feel along the corridor walls for the next door that leads to the next space that we will move through. We might feel like a door will not be shown to us, but this is where faith and patience come in handy. If it is true, as so many saints have posited, that each of us has a purpose, a door is bound to appear sooner or later and all we will need to do is to walk through it–ethically–and our dharma will unfold.

To summarize, the classical Ayurvedic texts encourage us to approach the study

of life and health with dharma–personal ethics–in mind. Personalizing and practicing ethical living may aid us in resolving conflicting emotions.

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I9 /# 6&*!:-#. 0 ':9#!;0* +& <# &f 100 years, the brahmacharya stage

would occupy the first quarter of a life–roughly the first twenty-five years. In India, it is during this time that a person would traditionally learn the theory and practice of ethics from a mentor.

If dharma is personal ethics, the first stage of life, brahmacharya, is dedicated to learning to put theory into practice. Brahmacharya means to move in harmony with the Absolute.6 Brahman is not a specific name of God. It refers to an absolute divinity of which we all are a part. While this could be associated with any name of God or any religion, it is not necessary to attach a personality to it or to belong to any organized religion to be able to appreciate Brahman, which I will translate as the Absolute from now on. Brahmacharya is the stage of life that consciously establishes the student in her relationship with the Absolute. Rather than attaching identity to our impermanent actions, we are taught in this stage to attach identity to our constant relationship with the Absolute. 1e practice of personal ethics is imperative to nurture this relationship.

Brahmacharya is often translated as “celibacy” but it is more accurate to associate it with attaining control of all five senses: seeing, hearing, tasting, touching and smelling. Sensory control is one of the main ethical principles in many Indian philosophical systems. 1ese senses allow us to interact with our environment. Desires and emotions are then stirred up and we are faced with the question of how and whether or not

to act on them. 1is tends to lead to a question of control versus indulgence, whether it is in sex, food, music, aromas, movies or any other sensory enjoyment.

Kalu Rimpoche indicated that, at the root of ethical living, dharma is the resolution of emotional conflicts. 1ese conflicts represent the problem of opposite drives in life, whether they are around control versus enjoyment or any other polarized situation. 1ese opposite pulls begin early in life. 1e mother tells the child not to do something. 1e child has a moment where it either obeys the mother and feels ashamed or repressed for not exploring its own desires, or explores its desires and feels a sense of wrong-doing about not obeying the mother. One daoist teacher I have studied with, Je8rey Yuen, has said that guilt and shame start from that very moment, and lead to negative patterns, if that dynamic is not somehow resolved. It’s a dynamic that may be carried through someone’s life. For example, as applied to career choice: should I do this because I want to or should I do that because it is probably more responsible? We’re looking for what’s responsible and for what feels right, and are confused when we don’t see the two coexisting.

1e first twenty-five years of life present a ripe time to learn how to manage such conflict. A child is torn between its desires on the one hand and forbidding parents, on the other. At puberty, hormonal surges contribute to the constant dance between desire and restraint. 1e college student struggles between self-gratification and self sacrifice. Youth is dominated by the presence of these opposing forces and it is ideal in this stage of life to have mentors who can impart understanding of how to resolve the resulting and inevitable conflicts. 1ey can help us personalize and adopt ethical guidelines.

Many of us, perhaps especially in the

6Fred Smith, email from July 2 & 3, ’06: In the Rig Veda Brahmana has two meanings. When the accent falls on the second syllable it means a prayer or mantra. When the accent is on the first syllable it means someone who knows Brahman with the accent on the second syllable. Later on, in the upanishads, it begins to have the sense of the abstract absolute with which the atman or individual Self is identified. But the word atman in the RV means body (rather like the word tanu) more than it means the Self. So, these words went thru big changes through the Vedic periods...Either of your translations is fine. 1e latter probably gets more at the heart of the deeper meaning intended by the Vedic sense of studentship inaugurated by the upanayana samskara, the rite of initiation into Vedic study, the giving of the sacred thread, recitation of the Gayatri mantra, etc. It’s not possible to say that all of this is attested in the RV period, but certainly by the 8th century <6# or so, it was all in place.

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west, have an aversion to the discipline required to follow ethical guidelines, and we chafe against anything that threatens our perceived freedom. I might feel, for example, that the directive “don’t drink” carries weighty moral judgment. In the east, we are not interested in judgments as much as we are interested in becoming acquainted enough with the Laws of Nature. 1en we can predict what the e8ects of an action are likely to be. When we know this, we are better equipped to make conscious choices that are likely to bear sweeter fruit.

Consider the alcoholic, who exercises her right to free action, and drinks. She wakes with a headache or nausea or vomiting, ignores this indication of disorder, and continues to drink. One thing leads to another and she finds herself in the proverbial hot water. She wins the disapproval of her employer and her family. Perhaps a well-meaning friend may advise her to quit or reduce her drinking but she dismisses this counsel as laden with puritanical repression. By and by she finds she has less freedom of choice, as there are fewer choices to be made when one is in hot water than when one has kept out it. She may find, ironically, that her freedom becomes more and more compromised and restricted, as her personal and professional relationships su8er.

On the other hand, if she becomes acquainted with the Laws of Nature, perhaps through the study of Ayurveda, she can learn how the alcohol is a8ecting her mental, emotional and physical states, and she may then choose to respond di8erently. And a di8erent kind of freedom may emerge.

In the east, finding freedom through discipline is a common perspective. In martial arts for example, it may take years of discipline before the student feels an ease and freedom in his or her movements. 1is is the case with any discipline anywhere, from learning a musical instrument, to figure skating to something as basic as reading. At first it may feel like drudgery and work. After some time, and a good deal of practice and dedication, it becomes something enjoyable that we choose to do to relax, get in “the zone” and shake o8 stress.

It is the same with our mental and emotional equipoise. It takes practice and skill.

To find ease in navigating the inherent challenges that we are faced with daily, first we need to practice adhering to ethical guidelines, such as the yamas and niyamas. 1is is the initial step in developing and understanding of, and relationship with, the Absolute. At first it may feel dogmatic and devoid of spirit, but this is where an inspired mentor can make all the di8erence.

A mentor may be a spiritual teacher, shaman, grandmother, mother, father, guru, high school English teacher, college professor, priest, pastor or pet. One Indian sage, Dattatreya accepted twenty-four spiritual mentors. One of these was a dog. One a rock.

Mentors, in one way or another, have come to comfortable terms with their own relationship with the Absolute and with their own personal ethics. In turn, they can help their students establish a strong relationship with both. 1ey reveal to their charge the way things work and expose the constant laws of action and reaction that are inherent in, and govern, the manifested world. 1is knowledge transforms the act of discipline from simple dogmatic adherence to being the natural result of striving to achieve a harmonious relationship with nature. 1ere is nothing inherently good or bad in the way nature works, but there is an inherent cause and e8ect relationship. It is the understanding of these natural laws that underlie ethical systems and imbue them with meaning. Whoever or whatever it is, an adept and trusted teacher can inspire a student to embrace the initial discipline involved in living an ethical life, encourage her through inevitable periods of rebellion and drudgery and generally provide the training wheels necessary until she can ride herself, finding the ease and joy in her honed skill and awareness. She finds that she would never willingly trade this for anything, as she begins to feel that she is a conscious part of the workings of the universe and therefore, with the Absolute.

Sages, saints and religions have encouraged ethical living, with the

idea that a freedom emerges from the discipline required. A harmonious environment results within which we may live and from which we may coexist with our fellow man and our environment. We become equipped to face internal as well as external conflict. If we choose not to employ this discipline, we may find the conflicting and opposing forces in and around us become stronger and stronger as life progresses; we find ourselves in an inharmonious internal and external environment.

1e manner in which we address mental and emotional opposing forces may well translate physiologically and a8ect hormonal balance. As our minds and emotions need to find harmony between opposing forces, our bodies do as well. In our bodies, hormones respond to opposing needs and changing environments. 1ey are called on to respond when we are too hot or too cold, too wet (sweating) or too dry, too thirsty or satiated, whether we need nourishment or are over nourished, need exercise or rest, and whether tissue needs to be built for one reason or purged for another.

Hormones convey these biological needs to our conscious minds, which respond to them. Often we respond by providing what is missing: water, food, warmth, rest, etc. But sometimes mental and emotional conflict or disorder may lead us to ignore or override these calls to action. For example, I may ignore the hormonal calls for nourishment and even starve myself, as in the case of people with anorexia nervosa or bulimia. Maybe I ignore the signs of satiation and overeat, becoming heavier than is healthy for me. Or perhaps my mind receives the message that my body needs rest. Maybe my mind sees rest as a sign of weakness and decides to veto the message and, rather than acquiesce to a nap, pushes my body to accomplish more and more, resulting in burn out.

If we have established ourselves in an ethical system and relationship with the Absolute, we have the tools we need to address the physical and emotional conflicts that arise, as well as to know in what direction to proceed in our lives.

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1is doesn’t mean that we have our lives mapped out to the last detail by the time we are through with the first stage of life. You don’t need to know what you’re going to do with your whole life. You just need to have at least a pretty good idea about how to go about it. Otherwise the scenario might look like this: you feel internal or external pressure to, say, become a lawyer, be a dancer, whatever. Your heart is not in it. You may frequently say to yourself, “Well, this will all be worth it in the end.” You could spend fifteen years reaching your career goal, working to exhaustion, eating fast food, stressing out, etc., and then you get there and you feel empty and depleted. If now you’re in a position where you can relax and recuperate, well and good. But if you wake up and discover you don’t like where you are, you may be so entrenched in debt and obligations that it could take another ten years to disentangle it all and begin to live a life that feels good.

Aside from becoming established in an ethical system that helps us deal with stress e8ectively, this stage of life is traditionally the time when students would become established in healthy habits. 1ey would be taught enough of the basics of Ayurvedic medicine to understand what a healthy diet is for them individually, and practice a daily routine, involving appropriate, moderate exercise, meditation, studies, and chores.

In summary, the brahmacharya stage of life is about adopting a personal ethical system–a strong dharma–that helps us come to harmonious terms with opposing forces in our external environment, within our mental and emotional environments, and with how we respond to our own physical demands. 1is is considered vital in developing and nurturing an understanding of, and relationship with, the Absolute. We develop healthy diet and exercise routines. We are able to move forward into the second stage of our lives with

the tools we need to create health for our personal future and the futures of our children and the planet.

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You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.

1omas Wolfe

Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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ARTHA, ':3# -,0.(0, :! 0 6&(;'#= word. It can be translated as,

meaning, wealth, stu".7 Insightful Vedic astrologer, Hart de Fouw, in a class I took with him once, related the word artha to security, as we tend to gather those things that a8ord us a sense of security. It probably originally meant object, purpose, goal, or aim; it is the word used for aims in purushartha, meaning the four aims of life. Artha carries with it the flavors of all these terms, combining to deliver a sense of meaning and security in our lives.

What makes us feel secure in our lives? For many of us it is the acquisition of wealth and “stu8,” including a house, car, spouse, children, knowledge, career, or even our own physical enhancement, through exercise, cosmetics or, in some cases, cosmetic surgery or religious conduct. We often attach meaning to these things. For example, a nice car may mean to me that I am successful. A handsome husband that I am beautiful, a perfect nose that I am desirable, a high-powered career that I am smart, a religious life that I will get to heaven.

Some perspectives may seem shallower than others, but rare they are not. 1e BBC News reported in 2004 that one in three teenagers wanted to have cosmetic surgery and would “spend what they

had to” for surgery. 85% of the teens believed that cosmetic surgery would improve their looks and that appearance a8ected self-esteem.8

Shallow or not, whether we find healthy self esteem in a nose job, a career or a life of prayer, a general sense of security in life puts us at least temporarily at ease, a state that is vital to health and well being.

1e security that accumulation of stu8 a8ords, however, is distinctly temporary, even if “temporary” spans decades of our lives.

We feel that sense of security because we feel who we are is secure. Where we devote our attention, our prana follows, and ahamkar–the I-former or individual identity–coalesces around the pranic patterns we create. For example, if I make my living teaching and I am devoting most of my time and attention to teaching, my prana will fuel that endeavor and my identity will follow. Rather than considering that teaching is something I do, I begin to feel I am a teacher, or a doctor, a plumber, housewife, cook, mother, sister, etc. I am now defined by what I do. 1is has its limitations.

If what I do is threatened in some way–perhaps I lose my job, my marriage, the trust of my child–I don’t feel that what I do is threatened, but rather, who I am is threatened. I may feel my chest tighten and my breathing become fast and shallow, as if my life was in jeopardy. Whereas, in reality, it is only some part of what I spend my time doing that is at risk.

1is can be a pretty dramatic scenario. It is at the heart of many depressions, even suicides, as well as the common variety mid-life crisis. It seems risky business indeed to place identity at the mercy of something that is changeable, something that can be manipulated by external forces.

My mentors taught that it is far more secure to engage prana in a relationship with the Absolute, by fixing our sights

7Fred Smith. Email July 8, 2006. “Artha is a very complex and multivalent word. It probably originally meant purpose, aim, object, and from there took on its more conventional meaning of wealth, and hence one of the four purusharthas. In fact the very word purushartha the artha of a purusha, the worldly goal (or meaning) of life. 8“1ird of teens want cosmetic ops” Story from BBC NEWS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/health/3601200.stm Published: 2004/08/26 11:20:41 GMT © BBC MMVI

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on It. 1is serves to attach the identity to something that cannot be manipulated by external circumstances, thereby a8ording a truer security. In this case, whatever I am doing, I am engaging in it as a way of strengthening my bond with the Absolute, rather than as an end in itself. In this way my attention stays fixed on the Absolute, my prana follows and my ahamkar attaches to something permanent. 1e security that accompanies this experience is less at risk than the identity that rests on a limb vulnerable to the gnawing of the rodents of fate and external influences.

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It’s like, at the end, there’s this surprise quiz: Am I proud of me? I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth what I paid?

Richard Bach

T,# ,&"!#,&'-#. !+05# &9 ':9# would cover roughly years twenty

six to fifty of a 100-year lifespan. 1is is the stage of life where we accumulate artha, those things which a8ord us a sense of security and meaning, be they temporary or permanent. Ideally, in this stage, we are to consider what a8ords us true security and pursue this, so that at the conclusion of life we are at peace. We all will need to leave this world at some point, and it is in this stage that it is useful to begin to develop an exit strategy.

1ere is nothing inherently wrong with a successful career, a handsome spouse or even a tummy tuck. Many of these things are natural to pursue in the course of life. 1e problem comes when we have attached our life meaning and sense of security to our livelihood, love life or appearance, and it falls away or otherwise disintegrates.

1e trick may be to pursue these things within the natural course of life, without succumbing to the illusion that any of them will a8ord us true security. Rather, we find security in concurrently nurturing our relationship with the

Absolute through dharmic living.How this manifests does not have to

look a certain way. Saint Ravidas was a cobbler and found profound meaning in life through his personal connection with the Absolute. King Janaka was considered to be a fully realized Saint in India. Meaning can be found while curing leather or ruling kingdoms.

Sometimes we find meaning where we are. Sometimes we may need to change our circumstances to align our lives with our personal ethical perspective. A student in one of my seminars once wrote me the following story:

!e experience I had is after September 11. I had been working in a job that had to do with national security, and I was asked at that stage in my career to take on other duties. I thought about it and what I wanted to do with that … I mulled it over for days … When I had to give an answer, I finally asked [myself ] the real question which I should have been asking before, which is, ‘All those people who walked into the World Trade Center that morning–were they doing what they wanted to be doing with their lives? And am I doing what I want to be doing if this were the last day of my life?’ And my answer was, ‘no,’ so I quit my job three hours later. I realized I wanted to start cooking classes for people who don’t know how to cook and since then I’ve just been having a ball because many other things opened up to me because I’m not concentrating on career now. I’ve done some other things that I find great joy in doing. A lot of it is church work and spiritual development and I feel a lot more secure than I did.’9

Many of us work forty to sixty hour a week jobs, take on tremendous obligations and responsibilities and extra-curricular activities. Sometimes our lives feel meaningful. Sometimes they don’t.

Staying in a job or a situation that feels like pure drudgery does not necessarily take courage. It often requires a sense of dogged responsibility. Kirpal Singh says, “...perhaps more souls are lost to heaven by the sense of duty to earth than by

downright sin and evil.” Sometimes our sense of duty eclipses our thirst for meaning and our knowledge that the choices we are making are not a8ording us a true sense of meaning or security at all. Ironically, living a life we want to live takes courage. It may require courage to jump, like the student in the seminar who quit her national security job, from the perceived security of one situation into the abyss of the unknown.

Sometimes we may need to be in a situation we don’t particularly like. If it agrees with our personal ethics, it may feel meaningful to us and it is worth staying put. If it feels devoid of meaning, however, it may be worth changing our circumstances. 1ere is not one way to live a life. It does not have to look a certain way. It is incumbent upon us to know ourselves su2ciently to know when something is meaningful or empty and to make our choices accordingly.

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Once there was a man who hated his own shadow.

When he walked and found that his shadow was close behind him,

He began to walk faster and faster.But the faster he moved, the closer his

shadow came.So he ran like a madman–and in the

end, he dropped dead.

!ose who do no understand the Dao are just like the man

Who hated his shadow. It is actually very easy to be rid

Of one’s shadow–just rest under a tree. Just rest.

Zhuangzi (369-286 <6)

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KAMA (#0*! ENJOYMENT &. DESIRE. It is often translated as lust, but it

refers to any desire.Indulging a desire may lead to joy or

to su8ering, depending on the desire. Buddha said that desire is the cause of all su8ering. A desire arises. We

9From a student at Women’s Lives Women’s Transition seminar at Ayurvedic Institute 2004.

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Mother and child visiting Gangotri Temple, Himalayas. April 2008. Photograph by Robert Moses.

Traditional Garwhali dancers. Uttarkashi, North India. April 2008. Photograph by Robert Moses.

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are unsatisfied if our desire remains unfulfilled, bitter if its fulfillment is thwarted, and heart-broken when it is fulfilled but then taken away. In any case, desire knows no limit. In the pursuit of one, twenty others may be born.

According to Kalu Rimpoche, the management of desires is inexorably linked with our personal ethical system, our dharma, as it governs how we manage opposite forces and conflicting emotions in our lives.

At the moment, the world is under threat of many wars. !ese wars have no source other than conflicting emotions. Each country possesses land, goods, and wealth. Nevertheless, it happens that a country, wishing to grasp the wealth of a neighboring country, invades it. Where does the war come from in this case? It comes from desire. It can also happen that a country is simply jealous of the superior living style of another and, because of that, decides to go to war. Or again, pure hatred can motivate armed conflict. Whatever it is, desire, jealousy, or hatred, the source of war is not found anywhere other than in the conflicting emotions agitating people’s minds. If conflicting emotions disappear, peace generates itself.10

Buddha taught that, in a case of the microcosm a8ecting the macrocosm, human acts have consequences for the general harmony of the universe. Kalu Rimpoche gives the following illustrative metaphor: At any given time, there is a heavenly battle between demons and gods, which a8ects our earthly state of a8airs. When the demons are waxing victorious, the result is wars, famines, epidemics and other catastrophes on earth. When the gods prevail, peace is the dominant experience on earth. When human beings indulge in negative emotions or actions like anger, aggressiveness or conflict, this feeds the demons. Conversely, when we engage in tolerant, peaceful, joyful and otherwise positive emotions and actions, the Gods are strengthened. Consequently, the person who reduces his or her

conflicting emotions and negative acts automatically contributes to peace and general harmony.11

Being conscious of which desires we indulge in and which we rein in allows us to allocate our limited resources to the fulfillment of the desires most vital to maintaining a physical and emotional equilibrium.

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!e second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

M#0*:*5, ':+#.0''4, FOREST DWELLER, the vanaprashta stage of life

would encompass years fifty-one to seventy-five of a centurion’s life. Ideally, in the first stage of life–brahmacharya–we established an internal connection with the Absolute and became established in our personal ethics, diet and lifestyle, as we engaged with our external world. In the second stage, we practiced what we learned in the first, accumulated the things necessary to live and fully participate in the world and strengthened our relationship with that which a8ords true security. In this third stage, we see that half of our time here on earth has passed, and become even more conscious that we will be leaving at some point. We devote more time to our internal connection with the Absolute, and we find the time to fulfill those desires we have had that we have not been able to attend to, all the while beginning to disengage more and more, as time progresses, from our worldly a8airs. For many of us, the a8airs of mundane life consume the lion’s share of our time in the first two stages of life, and the desire we have had to engage more fully in our spiritual practices is now able to come to fruition, here in vanaprashta. If we have nourished this aspect of life in earlier stages, we have set the stage for the play now to unfold in greater richness.

In vanaprashta, we also begin to enjoy the fruits of the seeds of actions that we planted in the first two stages of life, be they bitter or sweet. If we worked too hard we may find that we feel burned out. If we indulged laziness, we may find either that we are stagnant in our emotions, bodies or spirits, or that we have insu2cient resources to begin to disengage from our worldly a8airs. Alternately, if we responded to our body’s signals when we were hungry, thirsty, tired or motivated, and took a balanced approach to work and play, we may find ourselves fully prepared to turn our attention towards more subtle a8airs. We can now wrap up some last desires that we consider worthy to fulfill, while turning seriously–and joyfully–inward. It is a stage when we are half in the world and half out, in the “forest.”

If we have maintained a low stress lifestyle, healthy diet and appropriate exercise routine, then we have already prepared for this stage of life. Conversely, if we only begin to dig the well when we become thirsty, we may find ourselves parched for meaning and “juice” in our lives; we may begin to feel our bodies and minds unraveling, as we arrive at the beginning of our second half of life. 1is stage is often associated with menopause. To arrive here, having no faith in the universal order of things, no relationship with the Absolute (by whatever name), no connection with nature and no internal reservoirs of trust built upon years of practicing these things, then this could be a challenging stage of life.

1is “forest dweller” stage may be figurative or literal. For many, it can mean that the kids are in college, the books have been written, seminars taught, tenure achieved, house built, garden established, etc. Whether it is due to better financial compensation, less overhead or reduced debt, in this stage of life we may find ourselves needing to work less to fulfill our needs. When we do work, we share what we have learned, professionally or otherwise,

10Excellent Buddhism p. 73-7611Excellent Buddhism p. 73-76

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Priest of Viswanath Temple, Uttarkashi, North India. April 2008. Photograph by Robert Moses.

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with the world, including youth who are now thirsty for mentors, as you were in your first stage of life. As this stage progresses, more and more time can be allotted to personal retreats that allow for interior reflective time, whether in your own home, on a remote island or literally in the forest.

1is is not a particularly common approach to this stage of life in the modern world. Perhaps fearing the truth that we will ultimately leave our stu8, jobs and youthful appearances behind, it is not uncommon to find us working ourselves into ulcers, heart attacks and nervous breakdowns, pursuing cosmetic surgery, and generally working harder than ever to hold onto what we must surely lose one day.

1ere are not many excellent examples around to illustrate the conscious embrace of this stage of life. One notable exception is Nina.

In her second stage of life, Nina lived in New York City. She worked as an actress and a dancer and vivaciously engaged in the New York art scene. But she was also interested in what constituted real meaning, real security, and she was looking for the Absolute. About this time she was attending a live symphony performance. It was something fairly dramatic. I recall it was Beethoven’s Fifth. After the performance, she tore out of the hall, ran until she came to a bookstore, entered it, slammed her fists on the counter and demanded, “Someone, somewhere MUST have the answer!” 1e cashier responded, “I don’t have the answer, but I have this book” and he handed her a book with a picture of someone on the back. 1is Someone was to become her spiritual mentor. She left New York, moved to a remote forest in Vermont and spent the rest of her life there, meditating and contemplating the Absolute. Somehow, word got out about this anomaly and people started to come. People from all over the world came to her to discuss spiritual matters, question her, and mostly to derive confidence and inspiration to live the life that they wanted to live and to develop their own connection to the Absolute. During her forest-dweller stage of life she spent a good deal of time in discussion with her

many visitors and a good deal of time in solitude, while living in the forest.

While Nina is a good example of following this stage of life literally, it can take many forms and does not need to look one particular way. Russell, a friend of mine, was very active in the daily a8airs of running a spiritual retreat center near the east coast of the US. When he reached this stage of life, he chose to move to the suburbs on the west coast. Another friend, Juanita, left her job and life in a small town and moved to the very same retreat center that Russell had left, to devote herself to this stage of life. Elle retired from a consuming corporate job and switched to a sixty hour a week job in a low-paying non-profit company. 1ough the hours are long and the job demanding, she feels spiritual nourishment from the work. Meaningful service had been a latent desire in her first half of life and, though it looks to be very engaged in temporal life, for her it is a spiritual pursuit and, rather than draining her vitality, it feeds her and brings her into an honest and close relationship with the Absolute.

Each of these people made choices that were inspired not by personal or professional ambition, but from the heart. 1ey are each pursuing the same latent desire to engage more actively in pursuits that draw them nearer and bind them more strongly to the Absolute.

Whatever form this stage of life takes for each of us, it is our opportunity to become increasingly aware that we will need to leave this life and its accoutrements that we have accumulated along the way. We voluntarily begin to detach our invested attention from the world and its attractions and direct our attention internally.

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Take care. Sleep will get you in the end. !e coming and going of the breath is like the rocking of the cradle.

Moroccan saying

You do not need to leave your room; remain sitting and listen. Do not even

listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. !e world will freely o"er itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

Franz Kafka

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MOKSHA (#0*! LIBERATION. I+ :! often associated with spiritual

enlightenment, with liberation from illusion–but it is liberation from anything. Liberation from physical life is death, liberation from ignorance is knowledge, and liberation from bondage–physical or emotional–is freedom.

Kirpal Singh wrote that it is the birthright of each of us to return Home, to reunite with our Source–what we have been calling the Absolute. We are each a drop in the Ocean of Love and it is our inherent right to remember our origins and awaken to our highest destiny, to experience ourselves as one with that ocean. As our individual identity dissolves, we no longer are bound by likes and dislikes. Nor do we experience ourselves as the doers any longer. God is the doer and we are simply drops in that Absolute. Once we no longer experience ourselves as the doers, there is no longer any “I” to accept the results–the fruits–of our actions. We see that we are puppets in a divine play and that the Absolute is the only Doer. It is only then that we may escape the cycles of karma and birth and death.

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SANYAS (#0*! RENUNCIATION. T,:! 9:*0' stage of life is dedicated to achieving

liberation from our active engagements in the world and from illusion. We voluntarily disengage from the world, letting it move along without our active participation. No longer half in, we are increasingly out, giving full time to meditation, to prayer, and to making a final exit.

Again, Nina is an example of someone who practiced this. After she moved to the forest, for years she was

13J"*# 7$$%Sannyasi, Uttarkashi, North India. April 2008. Photograph by Robert Moses.

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quite accessible to the many people who came for advice and inspiration. 1en, little by little, she became less and less accessible; during the last ten years of her life I saw her only twice in the many times I went to visit. She had literally moved to a cave, deeper in the forest, where she spent the majority of her time in meditation and contemplation. When she passed away, it was peacefully and with the feeling that, as she put it, she had completed her work.

Nina’s life emulated the four stages fairly literally, but, as with the previous life stages, this last one doesn’t have to look a certain way. It does not require a change of residence or that we abandon our families or responsibilities. What it does require is more time devoted to introspection.

My teacher use to say, “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” If we have strived in our lives to keep our desires simple and our a8airs clean, it may be easier to detach from them when it comes time to do so. In this fourth stage, we simplify even further. Perhaps we go through our possessions and part from all that are not essential, giving them to those who truly need them now. Perhaps they are still around us. One way or another, we detach emotionally. It is easier to voluntarily part with things than to have them forcibly extracted from us. Kirpal Singh used to liken this endeavor to removing a fine silk cloth from a thorny bush. If you pull the cloth o8 the bush quickly and forcibly, it will tear. If you carefully and slowly remove the cloth from each thorn, you will be able to keep the cloth intact. Similarly, if we voluntarily relinquish our attachments while we are here, it is a less painful process than if we are forcibly withdrawn from them at the time of death.

Not everybody lives to be one hundred with clear delineations between each stage. 1ese are not hard and fast times zones. 1ey often overlap. Certain stages can be abbreviated or missed altogether, while others may threaten to crowd out all the others. 1ey also don’t happen by themselves, but require conscious intention.

It is fairly common to miss out on

the first stage, for example. Many of us are unsure how to read and respond to the hormonal signals that our bodies give us that we are hungry, thirsty or tired, let alone how to come to terms with emotional conflict or ethical living. While we may develop analytical capability, we may not develop much self-awareness. We are unsure how to eat, when to stop, how to rest, and how to resolve internal or external conflict. We are unclear about our relationship to spirituality or the Absolute. 1is may lead to emotional turmoil and unnecessary stress in later life, disturbing our physical, ethical or emotional balance.

It is very common in the modern world to spend most of life in its second stage, accumulating stu8, career, and a family, and finding meaning and security, however temporary, in their acquisition. 1e accumulation of things begins just as soon as our playrooms are packed with the latest and greatest toys. We pursue our careers and families and the acquisition of the latest and greatest grown up gadgets, and we focus on professional life well into the second half of life. Instead of siphoning some energy from the world and redirecting it to our internal lives, we continue to gather stu8, whether it is tangible, like gadgets, less tangible, like frequent flyer miles or various hobbies, or even subtler, like power or prestige in our professional lives.

Some many years ago, my friend and mentor, Dr. Robert Svoboda, and I were discussing the four aims of life with participants in a seminar. 1ey were asked to consider how they wanted to spend the last two stages of their lives. 1e great majority of both men and women wanted the last two stages to allow more time to travel, to explore, to do such things as they hadn’t had time or opportunity to pursue before. 1is is a reasonable approach, but still maintains great engagement with the external world. It still plants awareness in the external world. Prana continues to enmesh firmly with the objects of our senses and identity continues to coalesce around temporal relationships. It extends the grihastha stage of life to

eclipse the other three. If we bypass the final two stages and aims of life, we are ill prepared to exit this world.

It is never too late to cultivate each stage and aim of life. Kirpal Singh used to say that it is the Law of Nature to feed the hungry and water the thirsty. If we thirst to cultivate that which we have missed out on, there is every reason to believe that we can quench that thirst. If we missed out on good counsel in our youth, there is, now more than ever, access to the teachings and writings of saints and sages from throughout the centuries. If we have not cultivated the inner life, we can begin. Kirpal once said, “Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.” One way or another, we can cultivate each stage and aim with a true heart; Nature will find a way to nourish us.

When we leave this world, we leave it with empty hands. If the four stages and aims of life have been successfully met, we leave it willingly and at peace.

Dr. Claudia Welch, a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, began her study of Ayurveda in 1987, under the tutelage of Dr. Rob-ert Svoboda. Claudia spent three years in India studying Ayurveda and related subjects, and studied for many years with Dr. Vasant Lad in New Mexico.