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The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test

The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test 2

The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test®

Intrigue Anyone in Anything…in 60 Seconds

Sam Horn,

The Intrigue Expert and author of POP!

www.IntrigueAgency.com

Please note: E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test is registered by Sam Horn.


The content in this e-book is copyrighted by Sam Horn. All rights reserved. July 2012

Table of Contents for The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W Test®:

Intrigue Anyone in Anything …in 60 Seconds

Introduction: What is The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test®? Why Is It Important? .............. 6

Chapter 1: E = ENGAGE: Don’t Tell,

Ask “Did You Know Questions” ................................................................. 10

Chapter 2: Y = YES: Turn Resistance into Receptivity

And a No into a YES ................................................................................. 18

Chapter 3: E = EXAMPLE: Don’t Explain, Give a

Dog on a Tanker EXAMPLE ....................................................................... 23

Chapter 4: B = BOND: Create a BOND by Changing an Elevator Speech

into an Elevator Conversation .................................................................. 34

Chapter 5: R = RESPECT: Establish C.L.O.U.T. to

Command RESPECT ................................................................................. 40


Chapter 6: O = ONE-OF-A-KIND: Use the 7 P’s of Strategic Positioning

be ONE-OF-A-KIND instead of One-of-Many ............................................. 54

Chapter 7: W = WOW: Use The 70-10-10-10 Rule® to Turn

HOW into WOW ...................................................................................... 60

Conclusion: What’s Next? ................................................................................ 70


The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test®

Intrigue Anyone in Anything … in 60 Seconds

Did you know people today are suffering from INFObesity? They don’t want more

information; they want to be intrigued and they want to be intrigued … fast.

If you don’t say something in the first minute that gets their eyebrows up, they’ve

already checked out … and that means your idea, organization or cause will never

succeed at the level it deserves.

Want an example? Quick. What do you and your team members say when asked:

What do you do? Tell me about your company. How does your product work?

Why should I hire you, listen to you, fund you or recommend you?

Do you have clear, concise, compelling responses that impress potential clients,

employers and sponsors? Does your opening page or paragraph capture people’s

favorable attention and motivate them to keep reading and say, “Tell me more?”?

If so, good for you. If not, you need The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test®.

What’s The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test®? It’s a series of first-of-their-kind techniques Sam Horn

has developed that teach you how to:

clarify and condense what you want to get across so it’s crystal clear

compellingly and confidently communicate what you want to get across so people

get it, respect it, want it, remember it, repeat it and recommend it

Face it. Quality is important. But, every time you can’t quickly get across the value of what

you’re asking or offering; it costs thousands of dollars in lost opportunities.

The good news is, being more INTRIGUING is a learnable skill.

If you want other people to care about what you care about - whether that’s a business,

book, new program, product launch, start-up or non-profit – buy The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test.

Then, take the time to apply its innovative approaches to YOUR priority. It will be one of

the best investments you ever make in getting a yes, winning buy-in, landing funding,

commanding respect and scaling the success of your career, company, creation and cause.


Introduction: What Is The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test® and Why Is It Important?

“Remember, you’re more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.” - Andy Rooney

Several years ago, I was asked to be on the closing panel of a conference held over New Years.

Pulitzer Prize winners, astronauts, Fortune 500 CEO’s and Nobel Prize-Winning physicists were

on the panel and in the audience, so I was honored to have this opportunity.

The challenge? The panel moderator told us we each had two minutes max to share an

intriguing epiphany with the group.

Yikes. How was I going to come up with and then distill a “haven’t heard that before” insight

for this accomplished group?

The night before the panel, I skipped the New Years’ celebration to work on my 2 minute

remarks. My son Andrew came back to our hotel room after midnight and found me still up.

“Whazzup, Mom?”

“Well, I’ve got something to say, but I know it’s not special.”

“Do what you always tell me to do when my brain’s fried. Get up early in the morning and get

back at it when you’re fresh.”

“Good advice, Andrew. Thanks.” I set the alarm for 6 am and went to bed.

The next morning, I went in search of some caffeine to kick-start my creativity.

I turned around after getting my coffee and bumped into a petite powerhouse who was

wearing big red glasses. I smiled at her and said, “Happy New Year.”

She looked at me, eyes bright, and said, “Start to finish.”

My eyebrows went up at her unexpected response. I was instantly intrigued. “How did you

come up with that great phrase?”

She said, “Want to sit for a spell and I’ll tell you?”

I had a decision to make. Was I supposed to go back to my room and work on my two minutes –

or was Dr. Betty Siegel my two minutes?


Suffice it to say, I went with Betty (literally and figuratively).

Betty, President Emeritus of Georgia’s Kennesaw State University, is, quite simply, the most

intriguing communicator I’ve ever known.

I was on the edge of my seat throughout that entire conversation. That’s when it occurred to

me.

Betty had my eyebrows up the entire time she was speaking.

There wasn’t a second I wished I was somewhere else. There wasn’t a second I was bored,

distracted or confused. She was 100% intriguing – from start to finish.

What was it about her? What made her so interesting?

I had a triple epiphany.

1) Being intriguing is the key to connecting. Without it, no one hears us or cares about

us.

2) Being intriguing is a SKILL that can be (and must be) learned if we want to capture

attention, respect and buy-in to our priorities.

3) There is a free, tangible way to test how intriguing we are, anytime, anywhere.

Just watch people’s eyebrows.

If we say something and people’s eyebrows crunch up; it means they don’t get it.

And if they don’t get it, we won’t get it. We won’t get their attention, respect, friendship or

business. Because confused people don’t ask for clarification; they just move on.

If their eyebrows don’t move at all; it means they’re unmoved (or they’ve had Botox!). It means

whatever we said wasn’t meaningful enough to motivate them to keep listening.

If their eyebrows go UP; it means they want to know more.

It means what we said … got in their mental door.

Try it right now. LIFT your eyebrows.

Do you feel intrigued? Curious? Eager to hear what’s next?


THAT’s what we want people to feel when we’re trying to get across something we care about.

Use the E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test to Find out How Intriguing You Are

“The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.” – Steve Martin

Actually, one of the greatest things you can do is to surprise others. When you do, their

eyebrows will arch. It’s the body’s way of saying, “Hmm…haven’t heard that before. Tell me

more.”

That means you’ve just succeeded in delighting them and they’re much more likely to give you

their time of day.

From now on, you can test how intriguing you are, anytime you want … for free. Just:

Tell someone your elevator speech

Watch someone read the homepage of your website

Give the opening remarks of your sales pitch or presentation

Tell someone how you plan to start a client, staff or board meeting

Give answers to key questions you’ll be asked in an upcoming media or job interview

Now, watch the other person’s eyebrows.

If their eyebrows go UP; you’re in business.

If their eyebrows crunch up; it’s back to the drawing board. (Or, as George Carlin said, “What

did we go back to BEFORE there were drawing boards?”)

The good news is; if you test an upcoming communication and people’s eyebrows don’t go up;

you’re about to learn 7 specific ways to be more intriguing so they DO go up.


Why The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test is Disruptive

“The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind.” – Maya Angelou

I’m convinced the world needs The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test.

The internet has forever changed the way we access and exchange information. We can find

anything we want, anytime we want, online, in seconds, for free … yet we communicators

haven’t kept up. We’re still taking w-a-y too long to get our message across.

We’re not taking into account that people get to control who and what they pay attention to.

Their norm is 140 character Tweets, TV shows that change scenes, plots and characters every

90 seconds, and 300 hundred word newspaper articles. They’re accustomed to holding a

remote control. The second something gets boring; it’s NEXT.

That’s what we’re competing with. We have a minute or two at most to quickly prove we’re

interesting and useful to our target audience. If we don’t, it’s over and out and people switch

their attention to something that is.

The premise of The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test is that If we want someone’s valuable time, mind and

dime ... It’s OUR responsibility to earn their attention.

And the way to do that is to understand, once and for all, that people do not want more

information. They want to be intrigued … and they want to be intrigued fast.

People decide, in the first 60 seconds, whether we’re worth reading or listening to. If we start

off predictably, their eyes will roll, they’ll move on and we’ll have just lost an opportunity to

make a friend, a sale or a difference.

You’re about to learn 7 innovative ways to disrupt the old, boring one-way style of

communication and replace it with the new, brilliant two-way style of communication that

helps you capture and keep people’s attention – from start to finish.

These techniques have already been taught to executives, entrepreneurs, non-profit leaders,

sales and marketing professionals from around the world (London, Geneva, Toronto and

throughout the U.S.) and received raves from such organizations as Cisco, Intel, EO and NASA.

If you’re ready to learn how to make everything you say and write more intriguing so people

choose to give you their attention, trust and respect … turn the page and let’s go.


Chapter 1: E = ENGAGE

Ask “Did You Know Questions” to ENGAGE

"I try to leave out the parts people skip." - bestselling author Elmore Leonard I have the pleasure and privilege of serving as the Pitch Coach for Springboard Enterprises, which has helped entrepreneurs receive $5.5 billion in funding. One of my Springboard clients, Kathleen Callender, told me she had good news and not-so-good news. The good news? She’d been selected to pitch to a room full of investors at the Paley Center for Media in New York City. The not-so-good news? She only had 10 minutes to make her pitch. She looked at me in disbelief. “You can’t say anything in 10 minutes. How can I possibly explain our team credentials, business model, financial projections and exit strategy in 10 minutes?” “Actually Kathleen, you don’t have 10 minutes. You’re scheduled for the afternoon. By that time, those investors will have heard almost twenty pitches. You have about 60 seconds to grab their attention and get their eyebrows up.” “60 seconds? There’s no way anyone can win buy-in in 60 seconds.” Actually, you can … and Kathleen did. In fact, here’s the 60 second opening that not only won buy-in from those hard-to-impress investors; it helped Kathleen land millions in funding and be selected as one of BusinessWeek’s Most Promising Social Entrepreneurs of 2010.

“Did you know there are 1.8 billion vaccinations given every year?

Did you know half of those vaccinations are given with re-used needles?

Did you know we are spreading and perpetuating the very diseases we’re trying to prevent?


Imagine if there were a painless, one-use needle for a fraction of the current cost?

You don’t have to imagine it . . . we’ve created it.

In fact, as this article shows . . . .” and she was off and running.

Kudos to Kathleen. If she had started by telling what her company does, “Pharma Jet has created a medical delivery device that administers subcutaneous inoculations,” everyone would have gone “Huh?” Instead, she opened with intriguing questions that had her audience at hello. Here’s how you can do the same. Why Does the “Did You Know?” Approach Work So Well? “I don’t have A.D.D. … oh look … a kitty.” -popular t-shirt From now on, if you want to quickly win buy-in from decision-makers, don’t tell them what you’re going to talk about, ask them something they don’t know. The old “Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em” model is one-way communication. People today don’t want one-way communication; they want two-way communication. And the quickest way to do that is to ask questions. Now, you’re engaging instead of expounding. You’re initiating a dialogue instead of launching into a monologue. How can you do this? By introducing three startling facts, trends or statistics that cause your listeners to think, “Really? I didn’t know that?!” If you do that in the first 60 seconds of your communication; you will already have earned people’s attention because they’re already smarter than they were a minute ago. You just proved you’re worth listening to. Here’s the three-step “Did you know?” process that can engage even the most skeptical or preoccupied listeners from the get-go.


Step 1: Ask yourself, “What are three things about my topic, idea, product or priority my

listeners don’t know – but would like to know?”

A. What are surprising statistics that get across the:

scope of the problem you’re trying to solve?

size of the demographic or market you’re targeting?

urgency of the issue you’re addressing?

extent of the need you’re meeting?

dramatic increase in the demand for your product or service or program?

B. Google your topic, issue, problem or industry and insert questions such as:

What recent studies have been done about __________ (your topic)?

Who is an expert on __________(your issue)?

What are the top blogs about _________( your problem)?

What new research has been done about _____(your demographic)?

What are the best websites on___________(your cause)?

Google is your friend. In minutes, you may discover that a well-known think tank just released

data that proves the problem you’re trying to solve is growing at an exponential rate and has

more far-reaching, global consequences than anticipated.

Perhaps a study shows that your target demographic is spending a growing percentage of their

income on this every year – and there are huge profits to be made.

Perhaps a keynoter at a national medical conference validated how this serious situation is

undermining people’s health and putting them at risk for illness or injury.

A respected journal may have featured an article that sheds new light on your topic; claiming

that the traditional way of treating/perceiving this is wrong?

Step 2: Craft the eyebrow-raising insights you get from your research into 3, one-

sentence “Did you know” questions. For example . . .

“Did you know most business travelers lose an average of 3 tax-deductible receipts per trip?

Did you know company accountants waste thousands of hours calling hotels, airlines,

restaurants and rental car agencies in an attempt to track down those receipts?


Did you know 47% of road warriors never get reimbursed for their travel expenses

because they can’t find them or prove them?”

Step 3: Now, use the word “Imagine” to introduce three aspects of your ideal solution

(whether that’s a product, service, organization or approach) to this problem.

“Imagine never again having to forage through your purse, suitcase or briefcase trying to find

those elusive receipts.

Imagine a one-step receipt aggregator that easily and effortlessly kept track of your travel

expenses.

Imagine if that aggregator was an online app so you could scan all your receipts so they’re

available to you or your company accountant for a click of a button.”

Step 4. Next, say, “You don’t have to imagine it; we’ve created it. In fact, . . . . “

And then show documentation or evidence of precedence to prove this isn’t a speculative, off-

in-the-future idea . . . it exists and YOU and your company are the one ready to deliver it.

For example, “You don’t have to imagine this … we’ve created it. It’s called ______ and it was

featured in this month’s Consumer Reports which calls it, “a ground-breaking app that . . . . “

The “ Did You Know Approach” Gets Eyebrows Up

“Let’s give ‘em something to talk about.” – singer Bonnie Raitt

Why is this “Did You Know” opening so effective? Because it pulls people out of their preoccupation and gets them thinking about and talking about what you’re saying. As mentioned, most people start off with blah-blah-blah information or with complex explanations. Listeners are either thinking “duh” or “huh?” They’ve already concluded you’re “hard work,” and they’ve switched their attention to something that’s a more urgent, more enjoyable, more productive use of their time.


Kathleen had a distinct advantage at that pitch forum because she did the opposite instead of the obvious. She engaged instead of lectured. As a result, SHE was the one who stood out; she was the one investors related to, remembered and chose to fund. As to the other presenters? Many of them were soon out-of-sight, out-of-mind. Which was a shame because many of those business owners had invested years into developing ventures that would have benefitted people. But they didn’t receive the funding they needed because they hadn’t known how to distill into 10 convincing minutes why their venture would be an ROI. In other words, being intriguing isn’t petty; it’s pivotal and is a key to being profitable. How the “Did You Know? Approach” Socratically Engages People “We learn best through self-discovery.” - Socrates Let’s explore why this “Did You Know? Approach” is effective, so you fully understand, going forward, how it helps you break through preoccupation and be more persuasive.

A. Why start with questions? Statements bore. Questions make us want to hear more. Statements are one-way communication (lecture). Questions set up two-way communication (conversation).

B. Why start with startling questions? Think about it. The quickest way to earn interest is to introduce something new. We gladly give our attention to someone who opens our eyes to something we haven’t heard before.

C. Why start with three questions?

Orators frequently use The Power of Three device to establish a cadence to their communication. Listing three things in a row sets up a rhythmic flow. When coaching clients, I tell them, “When you put things in a three-beat, it makes them easy to repeat.”

Plus, introducing three diverse, strategically-selected insights increases the likelihood your target customers will relate to at least one. Stacking three questions sets up a logical sequence that makes sense. Your cumulative “whereby, whereby, whereby; therefore” approach leads people to believing you and accepting that what you’re saying is true.


D. Why use the word “Imagine?”

The word “imagine” helps people SEE what you’re saying. They’re no longer distracted or distant. They’re actively picturing and processing what you’re saying (instead of passively or skeptically listening to it.) They’re visualizing and viscerally experiencing what you’re saying - which means they’re fully focused on you instead of distractedly thinking about the U.P.O.’s (Unidentified Piled Objects) stacking up on their desk.

E. Linking the word “Imagine” with measurable statistics engages left and right-brainers.

The word “imagine” appeals to “creative right-brainers” who value feelings. Your statistics appeal to “critical left-brainers” who value facts. This blended right and left-brain approach combines the best of both worlds. Your communication is addressing the logical bottom-line so analysts who care about money are getting their questions answered and their needs met. Your communication is addressing the emotional benefits so visionaries who care about meaning are getting their questions answered and their needs met.

F. Why offer only three aspects of your ideal solution instead of a dozen? More is not better. In fact, a March 7, 2011 Newsweek cover story entitled Brain Freeze reported that TMI (Too Much Information) paralyzes our ability to make a decision. When faced with a fire-hose of facts, people become overwhelmed and/or immobilized. They are not about to say yes to something they can’t process or grasp. Many communicators mistakenly feel the more evidence they present, the more likely they are to get a yes. Wrong. Piling on information backfires because people shut down in the face of TMI. It’s far more effective to cherry-pick your three most impressive attributes. Three distinct advantages will always be more convincing than ten or twenty your audience has stopped listening to and can’t remember.


G. Why are the words, “You don’t have to imagine it; we’ve created it …“ so crucial? They move your audience from thinking how much they would like to have this ideal scenario to realizing it’s already available. Your “Did You Know? format” posed a problem and ideal solution … and this last step delivers the good news that people don’t have to wait for it; they can have it now.

H. Why is it so important to offer evidence and precedence? Social proof (a published article from a reputable source, a testimonial from a respected thought leader, a live product demonstration) shows this is not unfounded conjecture on your part – there are objective sources who will attest to the truth of your claims. Decision-makers don’t fully respect “rhetoric;” they want “real-life” evidence that what you’re saying exists and is not an unsubstantiated, pie-in-the-sky claim. Or, they want to experience it themselves so they can vouch that what you’ve promised is true. A positive first-hand experience can remove any lingering doubts of the value or validity of what you’re proposing.

I. What’s one final reason the “Did You Know?’ Approach” is so effective?

All the above can be distilled into a rare and welcomed 60 seconds! While other communicators are still belaboring an overview of what they’re about to tell you; you have already elicited interest; posed a “Who wouldn’t want that?!” solution; and delivered the good news that listeners can have that solution … now. You have already earned the interest of even the most distracted or jaded people because you’ve Socratically involved them. You’re not holding them hostage with a one-way lecture of INFObesity. You’re facilitating an organic process in which they make up their own mind that what you’re offering is worthwhile.

Action Plan and Next Steps

So, what is an important communication you’ve got coming up? When and where will you be:

making a request or recommendation?

proposing a project or program?

asking for money?


presenting an idea or delivering a report?

trying to sell your products and services?

creating a website homepage or blog?

Use the form in Section II to craft a “Did You Know?” first paragraph that engages your

decision-makers in the first 60 seconds. It will pay off by getting your target audience’s

eyebrows up . . . and you’ll be well on your way to winning buy-in to what you care about.

Ready for another way to quickly intrigue people in a project, program or top priority? If so, on

to the next chapter where you’ll learn how to turn a No into a YES.


Chapter 2: Y = YES

Anticipate and Voice Objections To Turn a No into a Yes

“If you stick to what you know; you’ll sell yourself short.” - Carrie Underwood If you stick to what you know … you’ll get a no. A quick way to reverse skepticism is to ask yourself, “Why will they say no?” and say it first. Here’s one of my favorite examples of someone who did this successfully. A couple years ago I went to the BIF conference – Business Innovation Factory – in Providence, RI. It was a fascinating couple of days with leading-edge innovators from around the world including Tony Hsieh of Zappos and Alan Webber of Fast Company. The most impressive speaker was a surprise. She walked out to the center of the stage and waited until she had everyone’s attention. Then, with a smile on her face, she leaned out to the group and said, “I know what you’re thinking. What’s a 13 year old going to teach me about innovation?” She paused for a moment with a twinkle in her eye and said, “We 13 year olds know a thing or two … like how to flip our hair.” In 30 seconds, Cassandra Lin had everyone on her side. Why? She had anticipated their resistance and turned it into receptivity. She read their mind and realized these global thought-leaders might be a wee bit skeptical about her having anything of value to offer them. So she brought it up first. And in doing so, she won them over. By the way, Cassandra continued to earn our attention by describing how she and her fellow 7th graders had taken a field trip to the sewers of Providence. They discovered they’re filled to bursting with F.O.G. – Fat, Oil and Grease. She and her classmates founded T.F.I.F. – Turn Grease into Fuel. Every Saturday, they go to restaurants in the area and collect their F.O.G. They recycle it and take the money they get from that and give it to needy families. Go Cassandra. Another Example of How To Turn Resistance into Receptivity “Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.” - Eleanor Roosevelt During an E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test workshop in Berlin, a participant raised his hand and asked, “Can we use these ideas for personal situations as well as professional situations?”


“Certainly. What do you have in mind?” “Well, my son is on a traveling soccer team. We’ve just hired a professional player to coach his team and we need to raise money for his salary.” “So, how are you planning to do that?” “Well, we’re going to approach our local bookstore, but we know the owner gets hit up for donations all the time.” “Good for you. You’re already half way to winning buy-in because you’ve already put yourself in the shoes of your decision-maker and read his mind.” “What do you mean?” “Ironically, the key to getting a yes is to ask yourself, ‘Why will they say no?’” “Why is that so important?” “If you don’t voice their resistance right at the start, they won’t be listening to you – they’ll just be waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you why this won’t work.” “How can I do that in this situation?” “Let’s read the mind of this bookseller. The good news is, I know this industry pretty well because I emceed the Maui Writers Conference for 17 years (MWC was to the publishing industry what Cannes is to the film industry) and I know how booksellers think and what’s important to them.” He said, “Ok, how do they think and what’s important to them?” “What’s important to every retail business owner – whether that’s a bookstore, grocery store, dry cleaner, florist or restaurant – is having paying customers onsite or online buying their services or products. What they don’t like is people taking up their valuable work time asking them for money without making it quid pro quo.” “That makes sense. How do I do that?” “Here’s how. As soon as you walk into the store . . . look around and wait until the owner is finished taking care of paying customers so you’re not pulling him away from his #1 priority. Then, make sure the first words out of your mouth are . . . “I know you’re busy, and may I have 3 minutes of your time?”


“Three minutes?!” “Yes, putting a time parameter around your request immediately lets the owner know you’re sensitive to his busy schedule. It increases the likelihood he’ll give you his time of day.” “Then what?” “Use the magic words, ‘I can only imagine . . . ‘ as in ‘I can only imagine you get asked for donations to local organizations all the time.’” “What does that do?” “He’s probably too polite to mention it, but it lets him know you know the school band, scout troop and local charities are constantly asking for donations. It shows you’re not just thinking of what you want, you’re empathizing with what it must be like for him to be in this challenging situation where he’s pressured to give to every worthy cause that walks in his door.” “What do I say next?” “Immediately jump in to how you’re going to make this a win for him. Say, ‘Which is why I’d like to propose co-hosting an event that draws people to your store, boosts your sales and gives you lots of positive press.’” Ari smiled and said, “That probably would get his interest.” “You’re right. You’ve just approached this bookseller in a diplomatic way that captured his favorable attention. Then, go into how, in exchange for becoming a financial sponsor for the team and having his bookstore logo on the team jerseys and in their program brochures; you will arrange for your professional soccer player-coach who’s written a successful book to put in an appearance on the day/evening of his choice to sign his sold books. Then, sweeten the pot by saying you’ve arranged for one of the team parents who’s a professional photographer to take photos of the soccer pro with customers in front of the bookstore’s logo for $5 a pop. That money will go toward the soccer team, making it even more of a fundraiser . . . plus, it gives the bookseller a long tail of good will and brand recognition because those photos will stay on people’s refrigerators for a long, long time.” Ari asked, “Anything else I can do to turn a potential no into a yes?”


“Yes, continue to put yourself in the shoes of the bookseller. Ask yourself, ‘What matters to this bookseller? What else would make it easy for him to say yes?’ Chances are, asking these questions will help you think up even more ways to make it a double win.” Ari thought for a moment and then said, “I know. One of our team parents works for the local paper. We could ask her to interview the soccer player and cover this event so the bookseller gets lots of publicity and positive press. He could even put the clipping up in his store.” “Great, but don’t stop there. Keep brainstorming. Anything else?” Ari’s eyes lit up. “Yeah. One of our parents owns his own internet marketing company. I bet he’d be glad to blog about this and Tweet and Facebook it to his network so even more people know about it and show up.” “Good idea. That will put even more ‘cheeks in the seats.’ And notice, all of the above actions benefit the bookseller and your son’s team. The beauty of this approach is that everyone wins. That’s our goal – to win buy-in by crafting intriguing communication that benefits all involved.” One More Way to Reverse Skepticism and Quickly Win Buy-In “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” - Laurence J. Peter A client told me, “I have a huge opportunity. I get to pitch my app to the CTO of the London Olympics.” I told him, “That is good news. How much time do you have?” “One hour.” “Mike, you don’t have one hour. You know what the first words ought to be out of your mouth?” “What?” “I know we have an hour scheduled for our appt … however you’re 120 days away from the London Olympics. I can only imagine how much you have on your plate. I’ve distilled my pitch into 10 minutes. If you’d like to continue the conversation after that, I welcome it. If you have other priorities, you’ll welcome to get back in touch at a time that works better for you.” “I don’t know if I can condense everything I have to say into 10 minutes.” “Mike, you have to. He’s got so much on his mind, if you go past 10 minutes, he’s not going to be listening anyway. At some level, he may even be resenting you because you’re taking him away from his other priorities and keeping him ‘against his will.’ This is a quick way to let him


know you’re the quality of person he wants to work with. Even if you don’t end up working together, for some reason, you’ve just increased the likelihood he’s favorably impressed and will keep you in mind for other projects.” If you want people’s undivided attention, always give them time parameters so they know how long this is going to take – and let them know up front this will take LESS time than they think. Why is this so important? Anxiety can be defined in two words, “Not knowing.” If we don’t know how much time something is going to take, we’re in a state of anxiety. And we resent the person who is “holding us hostage.” Starting your communication by acknowledging people are busy and reassuring them you’re aware of that and will honor it by keeping to a stated time limit is one way to instantly earn good will. Action Plan and Next Steps So, let’s apply these techniques to a priority communication you’ve got coming up. Take the form in Section II and fill it out so you can turn resistance into receptivity and a no into a yes. Ask yourself:

1. Why will my decision-maker say no? Why will he say this is a bad idea and won’t work?

2. What matters to her? What does she care about? What’s her #1 priority?

3. What is an “elephant in the room” issue he may not be willing to admit out loud, but it’s top-of-mind and will keep his mental arms crossed?

4. How can I say that first so he knows I understand how he feels and what he’s thinking?

5. How can I use the words “I can only imagine . . . . “ to let her know that I’m putting myself in her shoes and seeing things from her point of view?

6. How can I propose something that fulfills their priorities so this is a win for them and makes it easy to say yes?

Ready to discover yet another way to intrigue people and win buy-in? Onward.


Chapter 3: E = EXAMPLE

Don’t Give an Explanation; Give a Dog on a Tanker EXAMPLE

"In influencing others, example is not the main thing; it's the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer Want a Cliff Notes key to influence?

Stop giving explanations (INFObesity) and start giving examples (Intrigue).

Want an example?

A fascinating article in the Washington Post reported that an oil tanker had caught fire 800

miles off the Hawaiian coast. A cruise ship happened to be going by and, in a daring rescue, was

able to save the 11 crew members aboard.

The captain held a press conference and said how grateful he and his crew were to be rescued;

but all he could think about was his dog who’d been left behind, abandoned on the tanker.

That press conference with the captain’s poignant story about his dog, Hokget, went viral.

Donations started pouring in from around the world. $5. $500. $5000 (!)

The U.S. Navy changed the exercise area of the Pacific Fleet to search 50,000 square miles of

open ocean in an effort to find the tanker. They actually found the tanker and sent a C-130 to

fly low over it to see if there was any sign of Hokget.

Sure enough, there was a brown-and-white blur racing frantically up and down the deck.

Miraculously, after being adrift for 25 days, Hokget had survived.

The U.S. Coast Guard launched a quarter of a million dollar (!) mission to rescue Hokget.

Against all odds, they were able to safely bring him back to Hawaii.

Are you thinking, ”Well, good for Hokget, but what’s that got to do with The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W.

Test?”

Here's the question.

Why did people from around the world mobilize to save the life of one dog - when there are

thousands of people in their own cities, states and countries who need food, water and shelter?

As Shankar Vedantum, the author of the article, explains, it’s because of something called THE

EMPATHY TELESCOPE.


The Empathy Telescope is a psychological phenomenon that states, “It’s easier to care

about one person than it is many.”

Why? We can put ourselves in the shoes of one person. We can empathize with that person’s

situation. We can see it, relate to it, identify with it. That’s doable.

We cannot put ourselves in the shoes of millions. Our mind (and heart) can't conceive,

comprehend or picture mass numbers. That’s daunting.

One person is relatable - a magnitude of many is not.

What’s Your Dog on a Tanker Story?

“The world is not made up of atoms; it’s made up of … stories.” – Muriel Rukeyser

What does this mean for you?

What’s your Dog on a Tanker Story?

Where do you tell the story of one client who has benefitted from working with you?

Where do you give an example of one customer who is better off because of your company?

Where do you employ The Empathy Telescope by introducing a real-life anecdote of one

person who solved a problem because of your product?

Remember what we said in previous chapters about information going in one ear and out the

other?

From now on, understand that trying to explain your idea with more information comes across

as INFObesity. People won’t care even if what you’re saying is important.

They’ll care when you illustrate your idea by embedding in it a true example of ONE person who

experienced what you’re talking about and who knows first-hand how valuable your solution is.

They’ll care when you make your abstract idea come alive with a before-and-after success story

so people SEE the real-world value your offering has already produced for an individual who

was dealing with the same challenges or circumstances they are.

Simply said, explanations elicit yawns; well-told examples elicit empathy.


Can People SEE What You’re Saying?

“The soul never thinks without a mental picture.” - Aristotle

Want one of my favorite examples of a Dog on a Tanker story that helped its non-profit leader

win buy-in from potential donors and strategic partners?

After presenting a morning workshop at a conference, I sat next to someone I didn’t know at

the luncheon. I introduced myself, “I’m Sam Horn. I’m the Intrigue Expert. He shook my hand

and said, “I’m Tom Tuohy. I run Dreams for Kids.”

(Hint. Want to fast-forward past superficial chit-chat? Don’t ask, “What do you do?” That will

elicit INFObesity. Instead, ask, “What’s an example of what you do? This helps people skip their

laundry list explanation of products and services and jump into a Dog on a Tanker story.)

With that in mind, I asked Tom, “What’s an example of what Dreams for Kids does?”

Tom thought about it for a moment and said, “Well, there’s this young man named JJ. When JJ

was 17, he was playing hockey and was blocked into the boards. He broke his neck and became

an instant quadriplegic.

After months of surgeries and rehab, JJ became active in our Extreme Recess programs. But his

‘real’ dream was to go to Mexico for spring break so we made that happen for him. On our last

day there, JJ saw a brochure about swimming with dolphins. He told me, ‘I want to try that.’

So, we took JJ to the dolphin facility. And with me supporting him on one side and Dick

supporting him on the other side, we took JJ into the pool.

The trainer let in a female dolphin. She swam slowly around our group and then stopped right

in front of JJ and scanned him with her sonar. She got visibly agitated, probably because her

sonar was picking up there was something different about his body and she couldn’t figure it

out.

The more upset the dolphin got, the more upset JJ got. He looked up at me and said, ‘I don’t

want to cause problems, just take me out of the pool.’

Thankfully, the trainer was a compassionate guy. He said, ‘Wait. Let’s bring in her boyfriend and

see what happens.’

He let in the male dolphin. He too swam around the group and then stopped in front of JJ and

scanned his body. He got kind of hyper and swam over to the female dolphin. They started

click-clicking away.


JJ, who has quite a sense of humor, looked at me with a smile and said, ‘Guess who

they’re talking about . . .?’

Then, a miracle happened. The female dolphin swims over to JJ, stands up on her tail, reaches

out with her flippers, leans in . . . and gives him a kiss.”

“Wow,” I told Tom. “You’ve got to write that book.”

“What book?”

“Kiss of a Dolphin.”

“Sam, I’m a lawyer, I run a non-profit. I’m not an author.”

I asked him, “What’s the mission of Dreams for Kids?”

“To let people know that kids in wheelchairs are just like us; they just happen to be sitting

down.”

“Then, if as a result of writing this book, one person walks up to someone in a wheelchair and

says hi instead of walking on by; will it have been worth it?”

Suffice it to say, Tom Tuohy’s book Kiss of a Dolphin premiered one year later to 1000 people at

Chicago’s Soldier Field.

And guess who was honored that night, sitting at the front of the room with a copy of a book on

his lap with a cover photo of him being kissed by a dolphin?

That’s right, JJ.

How Telling a “Dog on a Tanker” Story Elicits Empathy

Are you wondering, “What does Tom and JJ’s story have to do with The Empathy Telescope?”

Are you involved with a non-profit philanthropic cause or charity?

If so, you probably already know that many non-profits are struggling financially these days.

They’ve been hard hit by the tough economy and many of their corporate sponsors and

individual supporters have cut back on their annual donations.

Many non-profit leaders go to “showcases” where they have a 5-10 minute opportunity to get

in front of dozens of foundation or philanthropic decision-makers to make their case for why

they deserve financial support in the coming year.


Tom has participated in several of these in an ongoing effort to raise money to support

Dreams for Kids’ expansion of its programs and services.

And what happens is that everyone else puts up their power point slides and starts talking

about their programs, services, leadership team, allocation of funds, the many people they’ve

served and the percentage of funds that goes directly to the recipients vs. operational costs.

When it’s Tom’s turn, he doesn’t put up fancy, bells-and-whistles power point slides. He simply

tells JJ’s story.

At the end of JJ’s story, he lets people in the audience know that Dreams for Kids has helped

5000 young people … just like JJ. And that for an investment of $100 per child, they make it

possible for kids like JJ to get off the sidelines and into the games of life.

That for $100 per child, these kids will have a chance to go adaptive water-skiing and horseback

riding. They’ll have a chance to do something they never thought they’d have a chance to do.

At the end of a l-o-n-g day of a dozen different presentations, who do you think those decision-

makers relate to? Who do they remember? Who do they choose to walk up to and fund?

Please note, I am not saying those other organizations aren’t worthy. I’m saying that when we

compete on information, we can come across as wah-wah-wah.

We get lost in the crowd and quickly become out-of-sight, out-of-mind. As true and important

as our information is, it doesn’t have the power, by itself, to close deals.

We don’t want to be out-of-sight, out-of-mind. We want to be top-of-mind.

And what sticks with people is a real-life Dog on a Tanker example that features an individual

they can identify with – an individual they want to help.

If you’re thinking, “But how do I ‘find’ my Dog on a Tanker example … and how can I tell it so it

makes my idea come alive?” Keep reading.

So, How Can I Create a Dog on a Tanker Example for my Upcoming Communication?

“No one wants to go out mid-sentence.” – Johnny Depp

If you don’t want people to nod off mid-sentence, promise yourself you will not start with

“neck-up” rhetoric.

Rhetoric doesn’t have the power to quickly capture your target audience’s attention, much less

motivate them to care about your offering.


Instead, “people your point” by identifying a real-life situation in which a human had a

Hero Journey’s experience: they encountered adversity and eventually triumphed over it

because they used your product, worked with your organization or acted on your idea.

When you do this, you personalize your message by putting a name and a face to it.

Want an example? I was working with a client who was preparing a keynote for a national

meeting that would have 2000 people in the room.

She told me, “Sam, people have told me to use more stories for years; but no one’s ever told

me HOW to tell a story so it comes alive.”

“I’ve got good news for you,” I told her. “I’m about to share my W.W.W.A.V.E. approach which

is a way to use vivid, 5 sense detail so everyone in the room SEES what you’re SAYING and is on

the edge of their seat, eager to hear more.”

She said, “Tell me more.”

“Have you ever heard of the concept of ‘entrainment?’ It’s the exquisite zone state when

athletes are one with their sport, when musicians are one with their music, when artists are

one with their craft. They’re not even thinking about their doubts or fears or the ‘outside

world;’ they’re completely immersed in what they’re doing and performing their best.”

“Keep talking.”

“I’ve studied this phenomenon and wrote about it in my book ConZentrate, (which Stephen

Covey highly recommended as ‘thought-provoking.’) Speakers can achieve this state of

entrainment with their audiences when they put themselves ‘in the moment’ and relive a

situation as if it were happening right now.”

“But how do I do that?”

“Here’s how. Use this W.W.W.A.V. E. format. When you include the 6 components of a

compelling example, you cover all the ‘story bases.’ You make YOUR story your audience’s

story. They’ll be right there with you. Their eyebrows will be up, their hearts will be open.

The W.W.W.A.V.E. Approach to Making Your Examples Come Alive

“The role of the musician is to go from concept to execution. Put another way, it’s to go from

understanding the content of something to being able to communicate it so it’s well-received

and lives in somebody else.” – Yo-Yo Ma


To riff on what Yo-Yo Ma said so eloquently, it is also our role as communicators to go

from understanding our content to communicating it to others so well, it lives on in them.

Think about an important communication you’ve got coming up in which you’re making a

request or recommendation. What is your main point? Who is an individual whose before-and-

after story will illustrate that point for you?

Now, W.W.W.A.V.E. that example. You may even want to take the form from Section II and

write out your answers as you work with this process.

W = Who?

Who is the lead character in your example?

Who is ONE person who was facing a challenge and turned it around because they saw the

wisdom of your approach and chose to change their behavior as a result?

Who is ONE client who was experiencing pain and eliminated it by using your product?

Who is ONE individual who is better off because they used your services?

Describe that person with enough vivid physical detail so your listeners, viewers, readers,

customers can see him or her in their mind’s eye.

Is she a single mom with three young children struggling to pay bills?

Is he a 20-something college grad with an MBA who hasn’t been able to find a job?

Is this a successful executive in his 60’s who is an abrasive perfectionist?

Is this a well-dressed female customer who spends more than $10,000 annually at your store?

Now, tell us just enough about their relationship to you, your organization and this situation so

we understand how they’re relevant to your story.

And give us a clue as to their MOOD so we know what they’re feeling. Are they uptight?

Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Happy to see you? Skeptical?

Yes, the beauty is in the details … but not too much detail.

Include just one or two references to their frame of mind and how they look at the time of the

situation you’re describing to “flesh out” their characterization.

For example, does the single mom look exhausted and like she’s overdue for a nap?


Is the college grad well-dressed but the lights are out in his eyes because he’s so

discouraged?

Is the executive impatient and tapping his foot? Is the loyal customer beaming with approval?

W = Where and When?

Where and when did this scene take place? In first-class of a cross-country flight last month?

Presenting in front of 1000 people at a hotel ballroom for an opening morning keynote? At a

Friday afternoon staff meeting when employees were wishing they could dash out the door?

You want to paint a word picture – a mental movie – so your audience is visualizing what you’re

saying. By putting in the time and place, you’re putting your listeners in the scene so they might

as well be sitting or standing right next to you as this unfolded.

W = What Was Said?

Re-enacting the conversation is a non-negotiable ingredient for making your idea come alive.

By re-stating what s/he said and what you said – with commas and quotes – you are novelizing

your narrative.

Think about it. Why can we read novels for hours at a time and it’s not hard work?

It’s because the author has made their story our story.

It’s because they have depicted the scene and the back-and-forth dialogue so we might as well

be in that situation ourselves.

So, don’t just say that the single mom told you she couldn’t afford to hire you. Say what she

said, “You’ve got to be kidding. I can barely make enough money to pay rent every month.

Where am I supposed to find another $500 to pay this doctor bill?”

Don’t just say that the executive told you to get to the point, repeat what he said, “You’ve got 5

minutes to convince me this program is going to be profitable by the end of the quarter or

we’re cancelling it.”

I’ll say this again because it’s so important.

This really is an essential ingredient to making your story their story.

See, an idea is CONCEPTUAL. A re-enacted conversation is CONCRETE.

An idea is ABSTRACT. A re-lived discussion is ACTUAL.


A story where you tell something that happened to you is YOUR story – something that

happened in some distant place, a long time ago.

A story with back-and-forth dialogue becomes OUR story – it’s as if it’s happening to us, right

here, right now.

A = Adversity

If you’re familiar with Joseph Campbell’s “Hero Journey” arc, you know that good stories have a

lead character we care about who leaves home, encounters danger, ultimately prevails and

returns home triumphant. (Think the Wookies dancing at the end of Star Wars or the happy

ending of almost any movie where all’s well that ends well.)

So, your Dog on a Tanker story needs to show how your lead character was challenged.

What was frustrating this person, causing her pain, compromising his health, putting her at

risk? What was troubling this person? What couldn’t they figure out? What was bothering him

or undermining his well-being?

Why is it important to address the adversity that people were experiencing and that was

overcome?

As mentioned, it’s part of the “Hero’s Journey” arc all humans can relate to.

When we hear someone who faced the same troubles we’ve had – or are having – and hear

how they turned them around, it gives us hope. It shows us a way out of the dark. It lets us

know there’s a solution to our problem.

Equally important is that it takes into account Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

If you’re familiar with this, you know that Abraham Maslow introduced the concept that we

can’t operate at the top of the pyramid of needs – Self Actualization – if we’re down at the

bottom of the pyramid - in Survival.

In other words, if we’re dealing with survival needs – we’re out of work, our house is facing

foreclosure, we’re going through a terrible divorce, we’re facing a serious health challenge …it’s

impossible for us to think about self improvement or anything that seems “nice” but frivolous.

So, if you have an idea on how people can be happier; people won’t even be able to think about

that if they’re focused on finding a job to pay their bills.

If you are proposing something that will improve people’s lot in life – you won’t even be able to

get their attention if they’re dealing with pain that’s preoccupying them full time.


If you are asking for time, money or buy-in on how to improve “morale” … decision-

makers who are dealing with having to lay-off loyal employees won’t consider you relevant.

That’s why every WWWAVE story must include some type of adversity the person was facing.

What challenge were they experiencing? What pain or problem did they solve? What hard

time did they turn around?

When you include that – now, even people who are in the SURVIVAL bottom part of Maslow’s

Hierarchy of Needs will pay attention – because what you’re saying is relevant to what they’re

going through.

V = Victory

Now, it’s time for the happy ending.

Share how that single mom is making more of her limited income and moving towards financial

independence.

Show how that grad finally found the job of his dreams by interning for a respected mentor.

Reveal how that program doubled its attendance from last year and received excellent

evaluations because of the social media marketing program you put into place.

Share how that customer just referred 5 new customers to you because she was so pleased

with the personalized service she received.

Better yet, re-enact the exact dialogue at the moment of triumph.

Remember what we just said about the power of re-enacting what s/he said so it makes the

story come alive as if it’s happening right now?

Re-tell how the exhausted mother wrote an email saying, “Thanks so much for telling me about

that pro bono medical clinic. I had a complete physical for the first time in 2 years, and it

wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t referred me to them.”

Say, “I would still be looking for work if it wasn’t for your career fair. I interviewed on site and

was hired for my dream job the following Monday. Heartfelt thanks.”


E = Emotional Context

Here is where you put YOU back in the story.

How do YOU feel about what happened? Proud that you were able to help that mother out?

Relieved that the program was a success? Gratified to know your personalized service is scaling

your customer base and profits?

This is also where you “hook and hinge” your Dog on a Tanker example to your audience and

introduce WHY it is emotionally or strategically relevant for them.

Do they want to make more money – or make more of their limited amount of money? Do

they want to find the job of their dreams? Do they want their conference to be a success? Do

they want to increase their customer base and profits?

If so, then the Dog on a Tanker example proves it’s possible. A real, live person they just heard

about has “been there – done that.” Now they believe they can too.

Start with a Dog on a Tanker Example to Have People At Hello

“If there is magic in story-telling and I’m convinced there is, the formula seems to lie solely in the

aching urge of the writer to convey something he feels important to the reader.” – John

Steinbeck

So, what is that important communication you’re brainstorming as you read this book?

How can you “people your points” so you’re not just sharing information, you’re sharing images

and examples of individuals we can see, relate to and care about?

Did you see the movie Jerry Maguire with Tom Cruise and Renee Zelwegger?

Do you remember towards the end of the movie when Tom Cruise’s character “Jerry” bursts

into Dorothy’s (played by Renee Zelweger) home? He is carrying on and on about how she

completes him. Finally, she interrupts and says, “Stop. You had me at hello.”

Start with a real-life Dog on a Tanker example . . . and you’ll have your listeners at hello.

Ready for another way to win people’s attention, trust and respect in the first minute?

The next chapter tells how we can go from being boring to being brilliant … by bonding.


Chapter 4: B = BOND

Turn Elevator Speeches into Elevator Connections to Create a BOND

"Enough about me. What do you think about me?" - Bette Midler in the movie Beaches As stated before, our goal is to turn one-way communication into two-way communication. Another way to do that is to create commonality by turning me, me, me into we, we, we. A bright, talented 20-something was the one who role-modeled this for me. I was on a speaking tour with my sons and we had the night free. We went downstairs to the hotel lobby and asked the concierge, “What do you suggest?” He took one look at my teen-aged sons and said, “You’ve got to go to D & B’s.” We were from Maui at the time and had no idea what he was talking about. I asked, “What’s D & B’s?” This smart young man didn’t try to explain what D & B’s was. He intuitively knew that would only have confused the issue; if he’d said, “Well, it’s kind of like a sports bar. But it’s more than that. It also has an indoor amusement park with video games and stuff. And the restaurant has pool tables but they also have . . . “ The longer he talked, the more confused we would have become. Instead, he asked a qualifying question, “Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese?” My sons nodded enthusiastically. He smiled and said, “D & B’s is like a Chuck E. Cheese for adults.” Bingo. We knew exactly what it was and we wanted to go there. All because this bright young man had a) asked a question that got RI (Relevant Information) and b) linked his response to what we just said. They should have put him on commission. That encounter yielded the following epiphany. The purpose of an elevator speech is NOT to tell people what you do. That's a monologue.


The purpose of an elevator speech is to create a meaningful conversation. That's a dialogue. Next time someone asks, “What do you do?” use this disruptive approach to turn a boring me-me-me elevator speech into a we, we, we bonding connection. How Can I Bond With Someone in the First 60 Seconds of Meeting Them? “There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who walk into a room and say ‘Here I am’ and those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are.’” – Ann Landers Here’s my favorite example that shows the power of turning an elevator speech into an elevator connection. I was asked to speak at the 2008 INC. 500/5000 conference, along with fellow authors/speakers Jim Collins of Good to Great, Seth Godin of Linchpin and Tribes, Michael Gerber of E-Myth, Tom Peters of In Search of Excellence and Tim Ferris of 4 Hour Work Week. My workshop was on how to POP! Your Communication – in particular, how to POP! the first 60 seconds of any communication to win people’s attention, respect, trust and business. My session was one of the top-ranked sessions because we focused on how to introduce yourself in a way that turned strangers into friends and clients. I asked Colleen, Entrepreneur of the Year for her state, “What do you?” After a couple minutes of references to centralized medical diagnostic services, scanning devices, etc. – no one in the room had any idea what she did. This was not a trivial issue. She was surrounded by several hundred of the most successful entrepreneurs in the U.S. Yet none of them understood what she did. That meant they wouldn’t be walking up to her afterwards to continue the conversation. They didn’t relate to her or remember her which meant they wouldn’t be referring people to her or exploring possible strategic partnerships. Think of the millions of dollars in lost opportunities. That’s what happens (or what doesn’t happen) every time we introduce ourselves and people don’t get or want what we do. If we don’t connect in the first couple minutes, we’re probably not going to connect at all. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way. There’s a better way to introduce yourself . . . starting today.


I asked Colleen, “What do you do that we can . . .

See? (pointing to my eyes)

Smell? (pointing to my nose)

Taste? (pointing to my mouth)

Touch (pointing to my hands) She asked, “Why is that important?” “These questions switch your focus from the ‘means’ - trying to explain how electricity works – to the ‘end results’ - how people use and/or benefit from what you do in the real world.” Colleen thought about it for a moment and said, “I run medical facilities that offer MRI’s and CT scans.” “That’s better because now we can see what you’re talking about. Medical facilities and MRI’s and CT scans exist in the real world – they’re not just conceptual neck-up rhetoric. But we’re not going to stop there. Because if you just told people that, they’d go ‘Oh.’ An ‘Oh’ is better than a ‘huh?’ because it means people now understand what you do – but there’s still no personal relationship. It’s still a one-way monologue instead of a two-way dialogue. Turn that into a question – using The Power of Three – that engages them and prompts them to give you Relevant Information that’s pertinent to your line of work.” “What’s this about The Power of Three?” “If you ask a question using only one point of reference, ‘Have you ever had an MRI?’ and that person says, ‘No,’ it’s discussion over. Instead, say, ‘Have you, a friend or a family member ever had an MRI or a CT scan?’ Giving three points of reference increases the odds that people will come back with a personal experience such as, ‘Yeah, my daughter hurt her knee playing soccer. She had an MRI.’ Now, relate what you do to what that person just said. ‘Well, I run the medical facilities that offer MRI’s like the one your daughter had when she hurt her knee playing soccer.’ As they say in Hawaii, ‘Mo betta.’ That elevator intro will get people’s eyebrows up. They’ll be intrigued because they’re picturing a way they’ve used or benefitted from what you do.


This has taken under 60 seconds, yet they could describe what you do to other people, which turns them into a word-of-mouth ambassador. And, if they’re ever in the market for an MRI or CT scan; they’re a lot more likely to contact you . . . because people like to do business with people they know and like.” A Two-Way Elevator Intro Can Help You Turn Strangers info Friends “Fear makes strangers out of people who could be friends.” – Shirley MacLaine Want another example of how to use these three steps to turn an incomprehensible elevator speech into a clear and concise conversation-starter . . . all the while relaxing and enjoying yourself when you meet people instead of tensing up and finding it intimidating? A gentleman came up to me after I spoke at an international convention in Switzerland and said, “Sam, I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told many people. Even though I’m an executive with a fairly large company, I’m not comfortable in the public eye. I’m shy. When I go to conferences, I’d rather hang out in my hotel room than walk into a room full of strangers and have to make chit chat.” I told him, “You’re not alone. I have a client and colleague, Jennifer Kahnweiler, who wrote a book about that – The Introverted Leader. She believes that’s more common than we know.” He said, “I see how a two-way elevator intro can help me get past those awkward few moments when no one knows what to say – I just don’t know how to describe my company. A little help?” “Sure,” I said, “Give me an example of what you do . . . . “ A few minutes later, I knew he owned some type of tech company in Silicon Valley that had something to do with purchasing software, but that was about it. Please understand . . . . I am not “dissing” this gentleman. I understand it can be tough to get across what we do when it’s complex or esoteric. That’s the beauty of this approach. Instead of dreading or fearing the “What do you do?” question for the rest of our life, it gives us a way to respond that puts everyone at ease because it quickly establishes a common bond. I asked, “Ready to play with that?” “Sure.”


You know what my next question was. “What do you do that we can . . .

See?

Smell?

Taste?

Touch

He thought about it for awhile and said something about credit cards and financial software and computers and the light bulb went off in my mind. “Oh . . . do you make the software that makes it safe for us to buy stuff online?” A smile lit up his face. “YES! That’s exactly what I do.” “Now, turn that into a ‘Power of Three’ question. If you just ask, ‘Have you ever bought stuff on line?’ and they haven’t, that will lead to a conversation cul de sac and we don’t want that. Instead, ask, ‘Have you, a friend or a family member ever bought anything online?’” And to make this even more strategic; add on another “Power of Three” question. I asked him, “What are three different online retail sites that are popular with the public?” He said, “Well, someone once told me that 61% of American adults have bought something on eBay, Travelocity or Amazon.com.” “Perfect. Next time someone asks, ‘What do you do?’ ask ‘Have you, a friend or a family member ever bought anything online . . . like on eBay, Travelocity or Amazon.com?’ You’ve just increased the likelihood they’ll tell you about a favorable experience. They may say, ‘Oh, I love the free shipping on Amazon.com. I buy stuff on there all the time.’ Voila. Your next response is, ‘Well, I make the software that makes it safe for you to buy things on Amazon.com.’ A minute into meeting each other, you already have something in common. You have a hook on which to hang a conversation.” So, how about you? Do you dread the “What do you do?” question? Does your response draw a “huh?” If you want to change that into an intrigued “Oooh” . . . ask yourself:


1. “What do I do that people can . . .

See?

Smell?

Taste?

Touch?

2. What’s a “Power of Three question” I could ask that would engage people and give them an opportunity to tell me how they – or someone they know – have personally experienced or benefitted from what I or my company does, produces or offers?

3. How can I integrate what they tell me into my response – so I’m linking what we do to what they just told me?

Do that, and you’ll be on your way to a mutually-rewarding conversation in 60 seconds or less. Ready to learn yet another way to get people’s eyebrows up . . . for all the right reasons? This next chapter introduces an epiphany that’s changed the way I open almost all my communications. Hopefully, you’ll find it’s a powerful and persuasive way to open the majority of your communications – whether they’re on the page, in person or online.


Chapter 5: R = RESPECT

Establish C.L.O.U.T. to Win Buy-In and Command RESPECT "My job is to talk; your job is to listen. If you finish first, please let me know." - Harry Herschfield I'll never forget it. This was a national conference featuring the big gun keynoters, everyone from Jim Collins to Tom Peters. Everyone was intently listening to every word of these popular thought-leaders. Then, a female CEO of a multi-billion dollar company was introduced as the next keynoter. She walked to the center of the stage, stood with her feet close together and crossed her hands in the . . . Fig Leaf Position. Mistake #1. Standing with your feet together keeps you off-balance and makes you look like you're a “pushover.” Holding your hands in the defensive Fig Leaf Position makes you look like you have something to hide. Furthermore, it collapses your posture and makes you look submissive. Then, this executive said in a sing-songy voice with upward inflection, "I'm so happy to be invited here. I was telling my granddaughters yesterday . . ." Mistake #2. Whether it's fair or not, people judge your leadership by the volume and tone of your voice. To their mind, meek = weak. A meek voice sends the message you have trouble speaking up for yourself. It signals you don’t believe you deserve to be heard. These are red flags to decision-makers trying to decide whether to respect you, hire you, promote you or fund you. Ending your sentences with upward inflection makes you seem unsure, like you're seeking approval.


Unfortunately for this CEO (and for the audience because she's a brilliant leader who is respected by her thousands of employees), the laptops came out and people started walking out. They had concluded she wasn't worth listening to. If you want to command the respect of sophisticated entrepreneurs and seasoned executives, you’ve got to prove in the first couple minutes you're worth their valuable time and mind. How do you do that? You establish C.L.O.U.T. Clout is defined as “the ability to get things done.” It means people trust you have the connections, confidence, competence and proven track record to deliver promised results. C.L.O.U.T. is the key to trust. If you are requesting or recommending something, decision-makers have to believe you have what it takes to keep your commitments. They’re trying to decide: CAN you do what you say you’ll do? WILL you do what you say you’ll do? Potential customers, employers and investors make up their mind whether they can trust you – and what you represent – based on these five C.L.O.U.T. factors. By addressing these early in your communication, decision-makers will conclude you can be counted on to come through. If you DON’T address these satisfactorily – then even if your idea, offering or enterprise has value and you’re the best person for the job – you’re blocking trust and decision-makers are likely to say no thanks. The C.L.O.U.T. Criteria for Earning Trust and Winning Respect “Blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love C = Credentials and Connections “Anyone who waits for recognition is criminally naïve.” - Congresswoman Barbara Jordan If you’re talking to a skeptical crowd, you might want to mention your leadership track record in the first couple minutes so they know you’ve “been there, run that.”


If you are a Millennial speaking to boomer supervisors; you may want to say, “You may be wondering what a 20-something knows about team-building. Well, I launched my own start-up in high school and have been managing people since I was 16.” If you’re a woman speaking to a group of men, the “jury” may be out as to your ability to head up an international team. You may want to say, “In case you’re wondering about my qualifications for this European assignment; I speak 5 languages and studied abroad in Italy and France.” It may not be fair that people question your credentials – however they can’t read your mind and they may not have had access to your resume. So, the ball is in YOUR court to trot out your tangible achievements so they are aware of your relevant accomplishments. Your goal is to deal with what is, not with what you wish it was. That female CEO at that major conference had good intentions, however focusing on her grandchildren in the first couple minutes of her keynote to this group of high-powered executives, who’d just heard three of the world’s most respected business thought-leaders, wasn’t strategic. You may not agree with the group’s negative reaction to her opening, but they looked at this 60-something woman and asked themselves, “Is listening to you more important than everything else I’ve got competing for my attention? Based on how you just opened, do I believe you’re going to say anything in the next hour I can use immediately in my business?” After her “soft” opening, they decided they had better things to do and voted with their feet. The good news is – you can control this. If you anticipate your decision-makers will question your credentials – trot them out. Mention, “This idea you’re about to hear helped a client close a 6 figure deal.”

Don’t be shy. If you’ve accomplished something special that is relevant to what you’re

proposing … include it. It’s not boasting to introduce pertinent achievements. If you’ve done

them, they could be the deal-maker or the deal-breaker.

Many people are way too humble when applying for a job or requesting funding.

Humility is a lovely trait. But when it comes to getting hired or to winning buy-in to a priority

project, humility can become your Achilles Heel.

How so? Potential employers and customers can’t read your mind.


They don’t know how and why you’re special – or that you’re a good money manager - unless

you tell them.

If you’ve accomplished something outstanding and don’t include it on your resume or in your

pitch; you could lose out on a job or contract you deserve and might have gotten otherwise.

It’s your responsibility to showcase specific skills and accomplishments that may help get your

foot in their mental door. It’s your job to mention real-life, one-of-a-kind experiences and

achievements that could add value for their organization or help close this deal.

My son Tom is an excellent example of this.

Tom and his brother Andrew grew up in Maui, Hawaii.

We would go for walk-and-rolls at night in our lovely neighborhood near Keawekapu Beach. I

would walk and they would ride their big wheels, bikes or skateboards. Our nightly tradition

was for each of us to pluck a plumeria blossom and bring it home to place on our pillows.

Even when he was young, if you asked Tom what he wanted to be, he would point to the sky

and say, “Something to do with up there.”

Little could we have known that Tom would eventually graduate from Virginia Tech (Go Hokies)

with a multiple degree in Aerospace Engineering, Physics, Astronomy and Math. (Suffice it to

say, I didn’t help Tom with his homework!)

Several weeks before graduating, Tom applied for a job at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in

Houston, Texas. After filling out the application, he asked me to take a look at it.

I was glad to do so – and was surprised to see Tom hadn’t mentioned that he and his college

team had won an international competition to plan a Manned Mission to Mars.

I asked Tom, “Why didn’t you include that on your resume?” Guess what he said?

“But Mom, that would be bragging.”

Arggh. I told him, “Tom, it’s not bragging if you’ve done it.”

“Think about it. There could be hundreds of applicants for this job, all with similar degrees.

Many have 4.0 GPA’s or were on the Dean’s List. So that doesn’t stand out at this point. That’s

the norm.


Think about it from their point of view. They’re looking through a stack of resumes in search of

something relevant that isn’t same-old, same-old. Something that causes them to think, ‘Now

that’s impressive. Or, that’s interesting. Let’s bring that person in for an interview.’”

If you have an impressive achievement few others can claim; it deserves to go on your resume

or in your opening remarks so cynical individuals give you a chance.

It differentiates you from similarly-qualified candidates. It gives you a competitive edge and

gives potential employers a compelling reason to consider you as a high-potential.

Guess what? Tom got the interview … and he got a job in mission control at JSC in Houston.

Every day he gets to do what he loves most and does best. He told me recently, with a sense of

wonder in his voice, “Mom, working with the International Space Station is a dream come true.

I do something down here . . .and it makes something happen up there.”

Hmmm … Who knows if Tom would have landed this ideal job if he had left off that singular

achievement that caught the interviewer’s eye and motivated NASA to fly Tom out to Houston

for a site visit?

So, here’s the question . . .

What’s a singular achievement you’ve accomplished that could help you stand out in a stack of

resumes? What’s a credential that could convince decision-makers they can trust you to lead

this project, represent them at the national conference or successfully launch this program?

If you were Employee of the Month, that goes on your resume or in your pitch.

If you were the first to be certified in a specific computer training program, say so. If you

graduated magna cum laude from the same prestigious university your decision-maker

attended, SAY SO. If you believe in what you’re suggesting or requesting; it’s up to you to

demonstrate why YOU’RE the best option.

You may be thinking, “Sam, you’re preaching to the choir. I know it’s important to back up

claims with names and numbers.”

You may understand how important this is – however many resumes, proposals and pitches I

see have NO names or numbers in them. They just have paragraph after paragraph of vague

statements such as “was responsible for training and development.”


What does that mean? How many employees? Six? Six hundred?

Training and developing what? Diversity seminars? Safety lectures? CPR classes?

I was preparing a proposal for an author who had several unclear claims under “Bio/Platform.”

I told her, “This proposal is your book’s resume. It’s your one chance to convince agents, editors

and publishers you’ll be worth their valuable time, mind and dime. It’s not enough to write a

good book. You need to convince them you will drive sales so they’re compelled to ‘hire’ you.”

This budding author had mentioned in her bio she was an “international speaker.”

I asked for clarification. “What countries have you spoken in?”

She blushed, hesitated and then ‘fessed up. “I spoke at a conference in Canada once.”

That’s stretching the truth – which serves no one and is not an option. It’s never in your best

interests to over-state your experience or expertise (much less to outright lie).

Neither is it in your best interests to under-state your credentials.

If you say you’re a “speaker who presents to a variety of groups,” what does that mean exactly?

By attaching a specific number to every claim, “I’ve spoken to more than 30,000 people in 10

states and in Canada,” you increase believability. Or, as Stephen Colbert likes to say,

“Truthiness.”

Imagine the Training and Development manager says on his resume, “I’ve conducted more than

100 orientations for a total of 3500 employees.” That’s specific. Now potential employers will

know (and respect) what he’s bringing to the table.

Another example? If you mention to a potential supervisor you were a “sales rep,” that doesn’t

translate into dollars and cents. There are thousands of sales reps. What makes you special?

What specific awards or impressive sales figures can you share that make you stand out?

What size company did you work for? If you were in the top 10% of sales reps for a well-known

national firm … now that’s saying something.


L = Loud and Clear “Musicians want to be the loud voice for the many quiet hearts.” – Billy Joel Lose the "I hope you like me" Little Girl Voice. A coquettish, high-pitched voice undermines the perception you have the clout to lead a company and carry off a multi-million dollar venture. Instead, do what TV broadcasters are taught to do their first day on the job. End sentences with downward inflection to project a voice of authority. Try it right now. Imagine you're pitching to venture capitalists and they've asked, "How much money are you seeking?" Say, "$500,000" with upward inflection at the end. Hear how it sounds tentative? Like you’re tossing it out there and HOPING they say yes? Now say, "$500,000" with downward inflection at the end. Hear how it comes across with more certainty? Like this is a justifiable figure you deserve to get? Imagine you’re in a job interview and they ask your salary demand. “65,000?” you say with upward inflection. You’re probably not going to get it because your insecurity around this indicates you’re not sure of yourself and can be talked down. If instead you say, “$65,000” with downward inflection, the meta message is you believe you’re worth this amount and are prepared to back up why. When presenting, don’t use a causal, conversational tone that’s hard to hear and easy to ignore. I will always remember a panel of 10 powerful women at a national conference. This panel included CEO’s, female senators, global entrepreneurs and non-profit leaders. The meeting planner hadn’t thought ahead and this impressive group were seated behind a skirted table that only had 3 table microphones they were passing back and forth. They were reduced to a panel of “talking heads,” speaking to a large ballroom that was half empty as there were several other breakout sessions scheduled for the same time.


The panelists must have been responding to the vacant seats because they were speaking almost amongst themselves. Audience members kept calling out, “Speak up. We can’t hear you.” A couple of the panelists would grab the mike and speak directly into it; however the rest didn’t do anything differently. As a result, many people in the room got frustrated and walked out. The panelists were making it hard work to hear them … and some people concluded it wasn’t worth the effort. Which was too bad because these women had decades of cumulative experience between them and I’m sure they had important insights to share that would have benefitted others. I use that example when I’m coaching clients on their presentations – whether it’s a keynote, workshop or panel. ALWAYS take responsibility for speaking LOUD and CLEAR. Project your voice and speak distinctly enough so every single person in the room can hear every single word. If you don’t, you’re sending a message that you don’t believe what you have to say is important enough to hear. If people can’t hear you; they can’t respect you. Never, ever force audience members to ask, “Please speak up; we can’t hear you.” The truth is, if people have a hard time hearing you, they often just give up and start checking their email (or the inside of their eyelids). O = Outside Rehearsal “Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance.” – Seth Godin This suggestion may take you by surprise –however I’ve discovered it is a key to being in your wheelhouse when you’re communicating. Here’s how I “stumbled” upon this key to C.L.O.U.T.

A client, who was going to be pitching to a room full of investors at the Paley Center in New York City, came to me. She had had a "nightmare" experience a few weeks before where she had "frozen" in front of a VIP audience. She had become painfully aware that the future of her venture - in which she had invested her life savings - depended on getting a yes from these venture capitalists.


The enormity of the situation "got" to her and her mind went blank. It took several awkward moments before she regained her notes . . . and her composure.

By then, it was too late. She had lost their respect - and any chance of a deal. She came to me in the hopes I could help her regain her confidence so she could walk into this high-opportunity situation with confidence. I asked her, "You've heard of MBWA - Management By Walking Around?" She said, "Isn't that when leaders get out of their office and walk around to connect with employees - instead of holing up behind their desk where they become isolated and out of touch?" "Exactly. We're going to RBWA - Rehearse By Walking Around. We're going to get OUTSIDE and walk around the lake to connect with your intentions instead of practicing in your head (or in front of a mirror) where it's easy to get up tight and out of touch." She asked, "How will walking outside help me get over my stage-fright?" "Going for a brisk walk gets your heart pumping, your blood flowing and aligns your left and right brain so you're at your creative, intellectual best. Furthermore, looking around at your surroundings while navigating your way is a way to practice that multi-focus type of concentration where you're sharing your message and observing and adapting to your surroundings - all at the same time - without going blank or getting anxious." "Really?" "Really. Did you play sports growing up?" "Yes, I played soccer in high school and college." "Then you know that we play the way we practice. I had the privilege of working with Rod Laver (who won the Grand Slam of Tennis twice) when I co-managed his tennis facility on Hilton Head Island, SC. Rocket thought it didn't make sense to just 'rally and hit balls' in the days before a match. He thought if you wanted to serve well and return well - you better practice serving and returning


so you're mimicking the real thing." I told her, "I think speaking is like playing a sport." "How so?" "It has many of the same elements. We prep for an important presentation as we would an important match. If we want to access that peak performance-zone state where we turn fears into focus, we better GET MOVING and DOING. Walking or running outside WHILE you rehearse what you want to say sets up that sublime sense of entrainment where you're one with what you're doing. You're embodying your message. You're not just rehearsing; you're immersing yourself in your communication." My client was open to trying anything at that point - so we headed out around the lake to prep her pitch. As we walked and talked, she started obsessing about how afraid she was of having another "meltdown." I asked this bright, talented entrepreneur, "When the game is on the line; there are two kinds of people. Those who say ‘Don’t give me the ball’ and those who say ‘Give me the ball.’ I bet when you were playing soccer, you were a 'Give-me-the-ball kind of player' when the game was on the line." She smiled and said, "Yes, I was." I told her, "That's how you want to approach this pitch. Become a 'Give-me-the-ball' kind of speaker. Instead of worrying about what could go WRONG . . . WELCOME this opportunity and FOCUS 100% on rehearsing it going RIGHT." She did just that. She "walked and talked" in the streets of NYC the morning of her pitch which helped her walk into that auditorium with determination instead of doubts. SHE FILLED HER MIND with how grateful she was for this opportunity – and was in her element delivering that pitch. She favorably impressed everyone in the room and found the perfect strategic partner for her start-up.


How about you? Are you prepping for an important meeting, interview or presentation? How are you going to overcome nerves and stage-fright? How are you going to turn your fears into focus? Promise yourself you’ll get OUTSIDE in nature and Rehearse While Walking Around so you project a "give-me-the-ball" confidence that captures the favorable attention and respect of everyone in the room. U = Use Money Metrics

“Wealth isn’t about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” – Chris Rock

Sharing specific examples of where you’ve made or saved money for previous employers and

investors … and how you plan to do the same for prospective employers or investors will

definitely get their favorable attention.

Please understand. If you’re requesting money, you need to sell decision-makers on the fact

that you’re an experienced fiscal manager who can produce profits.

Unfortunately, many people aren’t comfortable doing this.

In fact, when people are asked to play “word association” and write down the first word that

comes to mind upon hearing the words “sell” and “salesman,” guess what many say?

“Pushy. Manipulative. Smarmy … and variations on that rather unappealing theme.

Yikes.

The good news, you can ETHICALLY sell and seal the deal by showcasing MEASURABLE

monetary results you’ve produced in the past — and backing them up with metrics.

That way, you’re not just “saying” you’ve contributed to the bottom-line … (what does that

mean, anyway?) … you’ve provided specific financial details such as:

“My team and I were responsible for a product launch – from start to delivery – that

generated $250,000 in NEW revenue in its first 6 months.”

“I surpassed my quarterly sales quota by 18% by initiating B2B relationships with

organizations outside our industry.”


I proposed a way to streamline our office operations with www.Highrise.com which

provided one central source for client contact and saved our company more than $7,000

a month.”

Money metrics give your financial claims “teeth.”

If you are raising funds for a cause or applying for a promotion; demonstrate your sound fiscal

management by giving specific dollar amounts you’ve saved or scaled.

That makes what you’re saying objective instead of subjective. By backing up every credential

with evidence and precedence, you clarify exactly how you have contributed to your company’s

bottom-line before … and how you are positioned to do the same in this new relationship.

By including references to your financial performance – you’re showing future employers or

investors they can trust you to keep to a budget, bring a bottom-line mentality to the job and

maintain a healthy Profit-Loss ratio.

T = Tower vs. Cower “Stand tall, look into the sun and laugh. We are never more brave than when we do that.” – Linda Ellerbee Do you want to command people’s attention and respect? If so … STAND UP and STAND TALL. Even if you’re on a panel and everyone else is sitting down …. STAND UP and move closer to the audience so you’re not a “talking head” halfway hidden behind a curtained table. Even if you’re at a networking function and everyone else stays seated when introducing themselves, STAND UP and SPEAK UP so everyone in the room can see and hear you. Even if you’re at a client meeting and everyone else presents their proposal from their chair … STAND up to deliver your report to add credibility and gravitas. When you stand up to speak, the meta message is …. I STAND UP for what I believe in. It helps you STAND out from the crowd.

http://www.highrise.com/


It makes it easier for people to give you their eyes and ears because you’re the most interesting thing in the room. You no longer blend in, you break out. Instead of following the crowd or blending into the crowd, you’re leading the crowd. Want even better news? There’s a way to stand that turns anxiety into an athletic confidence. Try this right now. Stand up. Now, put your feet close together. Feel how it makes you feel “tipsy” and off-balance? This position makes you feel like, and appear to be, a “pushover.” Standing like this undermines your credibility because it makes you look flighty and like you can’t or won’t hold your ground. Now, put your hands in the “Fig Leaf” position. Do you feel you’re hiding something? Does clasping your hands like this pull your shoulders and head down and make you feel timid? This “Fig Leaf” position collapses your posture, deflates your energy and makes you feel and look defeated. That’s why it’s called a COWER posture. Let’s change that into a TOWER posture. Place your feet shoulder-width apart and bend your knees slightly so you feel "grounded.” Straighten out your spine so you stand tall. Don’t you feel more “rooted?” You’ll be less likely to rock back and forth because you’re well-balanced. Plus, athletes call this “the ready position” because you’re in a centered state of preparedness and can respond to whatever happens. Now, unclasp your hands and hold them in front of you like you’re holding a basketball. This "Basketball Hands" position helps you stand tall. It helps you pull your shoulders back and hold your head high. Aaahh . . . that’s better. Feel how this TOWER stance makes you look and feel more confident? You now look like a leader. Decision-makers look for a leadership presence. They must believe in you to trust you. They ask themselves, “Is this person projecting the poise and professionalism and command that convinces me s/he has what it takes to get the job done? Would I entrust my business, account, money to this person?” And they decide that, at least in part, by whether you COWER or TOWER ... and whether you have the necessary C.L.O.U.T. to command the respect required to give you their trust.


Action Steps and Next Steps So, what is that communication you’re preparing? Promise yourself you’ll spend at least as much time mentally prepping as you do on your power point slides. I’m always surprised that people will spend hours (weeks?) on putting together their graphs and charts and bullet points for their slide deck … and no more than a few minutes on their C.L.O.U.T. prep. Refer to the form from Section II and use it as a checklist to remind you to get outside and rehearse so you’re in your wheelhouse and so you set up a state of entrainment where everyone is one with you and your message … and you’re commanding the attention and respect you want, need and deserve.


Chapter 6: O = ONE-OF-A-KIND

Use the 7 P’s of Strategic Positioning to be ONE-OF-A-KIND

"When you can do a common thing in an uncommon way; you will command the attention of the world." - George Washington Carver Do people perceive your idea or enterprise as a commodity, nothing special? Do you feel it’s almost impossible to stand out from the crowd because your products and services are similar to what’s being offered by other organizations? If you find it hard to convince people to do business with you instead of your competitors (or to do business with you at all); you’ll love this next example. That’s the situation the scuba industry in Hawaii was in during the late 1980’s. The scuba industry was tanking. (Yes, that’s a bad joke. Some of these I do for my own amusement.) Why was the scuba industry in trouble? There were too many barriers to entry.

And … The more barriers to entry to your idea, product, service or organization; the more likely

it is to fail.

Think about it. Barriers to entry for scuba-diving include:

You have to carry those awkward, heavy oxygen tanks on your back

You have to pay to go through extensive training and have a current certification

The required equipment and presence of a certified guide make it expensive

Some people find it hard and/or painful to equalize the pressure on their ears

It’s perceived as risky since something can go wrong deep underwater (i.e., losing your

mask, running out of air, surfacing too quickly and getting bends, sharks, etc.)

All those barriers to entry meant there weren’t enough ready-to-buy customers for the dive

operators to survive, much less thrive. Their problem wasn’t that they couldn’t convincingly

communicate their competitive advantage, their problem was . . . they didn’t have one.

So, what do to? They needed to create compelling NEW reasons for people to want to do

business with them again.

How could they do that? By creating a first-of-its-kind approach, product or service that gave

people a NEW reason to try and buy their new offering.


And how do you do that? By asking questions that have the potential to remove the

barriers to entry that are keeping people away. Questions like:

Why does my business have to operate this way?

Why does it have to be structured this way, formatted this way, packaged this way?

Why do we have to communicate and market what we do the way we’ve always done?

Why do we have to use the same procedures and policies?

What’s a better way? An easier way? Safer way? Quicker way? Less expensive way?

More innovative way? More profitable way? More comfortable or convenient way?

Hmmm. Upon posing these questions, an intrepid scuba shop owner thought, “Maybe people

don’t have to carry those heavy oxygen tanks on their back. Maybe they can leave them on the

boat and we’ll just run a long air hose to each person in the water that they can hold in their

mouth, kind of like a snorkel. They won’t even need a regulator.

And people don’t have to go down 100 feet. They can go down 10 feet and feel like they’re in

an aquarium, swimming with the fishies.

Plus, anyone can do this. 12 year olds and 60 year olds. They don’t have to get certified. And

there’s no risk. If people panic or get in trouble, they can pop up to the surface in seconds.

And it’ll be a fraction of the current cost because people won’t have to pay for expensive

equipment and a licensed dive guide. That all adds up to a larger buying demographic who will

be attracted to our new activity. More customers means more money for us.”

Voila. Brainstorming those “Why questions” helped create a NEW multi-million dollar sport –

one that hadn’t existed before.

What did they call this new activity?

Well if you’ve read my book POP!, you know I believe a first-of-its-kind idea deserves a first-of-

its-kind name. It increases the likelihood of getting people’s eyebrows up – the first step to

winning buy-in.

How do you coin a NURD (New Word)? Use one of the 25 techniques in POP! to give it a “Half

and Half” name. It’s half Snorkel – half Scuba. Blend those together and you get . . . SNUBA.

And that, folks, proves that, by asking a series of strategic questions, you can create new

approaches, which give you a competitive edge, which attract new customers and profits.

Are you wondering, “I understand how they came up with Snuba. The question is, how can I

come up with my own Snuba?” Use the 7 P’s of Strategic Positioning.


The 7 P’s of Positioning Can Help You Create a Compelling Competitive Edge

“It is not enough to be the best at what you do; you must be perceived as the only one who does

what you do.” - Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead

OK, remember the priority situation you identified before?

Get your pen, refer to the template from Section II so you can write your answers to these

questions, and be prepared to take the time to go deep into these “P’s.”

Brainstorming these questions and developing clear responses can help you figure out a) how

and why you’re special and better than your competitors and b) what you can do that’s new

and better than what you’ve done in the past.

Some people call these your USP - or Unique Selling Proposition. They are that – they’re also

your Unique Strategic Positioning. And the clearer you are about them, the clearer you can

answer the question, “Why should I do business with you instead of your competitor?”

P = Purpose?

What is my purpose for this communication/situation? What am I trying to solve? What action

do I want people to take? What measurable results do I want to produce? What do I want to

happen that will make this a success?

P = Person?

Who is my target customer or decision-maker? Once again, don’t refer to a large demographic.

That’s too vague. What is the name of one person you’re targeting? What is a sample

customer who can represent the “masses?” What are the specifics of that individual’s

situation? Man? Woman? 25? 55? Parent? Single? Affluent? On a budget? Keep this

person in mind and voice what he/she is thinking to make your language come alive.

P = Problem?

Picture this person in bed at night, awake because s/he can’t get to sleep. What are they

worried about that’s relevant to your offering? What’s frustrating them? What can’t they

solve? What are they afraid of? Talk out loud as if you’re this person and put quotes around

what’s on their mind so you’re voicing their zeitgeist . . “I don’t know what to do about this

problem . . . I’m afraid that . . . “


P = Premise?

What’s your point of view that says, “You don’t have to worry about that. You don’t have to be

frustrated by that. That’s no longer a concern or a threat. It doesn’t have to be that way.

There’s a solution. A better way. A more effective way.”

P = Process? (This can also be Product or Program?)

And I’ve got the way. I’ve got the answer, the solution. A new approach that’s a better

alternative to what was. A new norm. I explain the process on how to reverse this in my

workshop or CD series. Or, the answers to those issues are right here in my book. Or, our

organization offers services that address and eliminate that problem.

P = Promise?

This is where you get personal. All things being equal – why should people do business with

you instead of the other guys? What do you stand for? What won’t you stand for? Do you

have a mission statement that explains where you’re coming from so target customers know

WHY you stand behind this product, process or program? This is where you explain why you

care so much about this problem and why you’ve created this special approach. By adding

heart to head and emotion to intellect, people understand this isn’t just a way to make money .

. . you genuinely care about their needs and are committed to meeting and exceeding them.

P = POP?

What do my competitors have in common? How can I be uncommon and zig where they zag?

What are the norms in my industry? How can I turn those norms on their head?

An excellent example of how you can POP! out of your pack and get eyebrows up, is what the

catsup corporation Heinz did when introducing an innovation to their industry. It only took 50

years for someone to figure out, “Hey, maybe we don’t have to pound the catsup bottle on our

palms to get that slow-moving catsup out. Why don’t we put gravity to work for us instead of

against us and sit the bottle on its cap?!”

Doing the opposite of the “always” can help you come up with your own SNUBA SOLUTION - a

first-of-its-kind offering that attracts new customers and gives you a P.O.D. (Point of

Distinction) which gets you noticed and helps you break out instead of blend in.


Want to Stand Out? Be 1st to Market “What if I don’t want to be just okay? What if I want to be extraordinary?” – Will Smith, the #1 box office star in the world Want an example of a company that did an extraordinary job of getting people’s eyebrows up because they weren’t content to be just okay? This company wanted to enter the car rental industry, but faced a serious challenge. Hertz and Avis dominated the market. How can you possibly enter and compete in an industry that’s dominated by multi-million dollar companies with impressive track records? Well, you ask yourself two questions:

1. “What do customers want that no one in my industry is offering?” 2. “How are my competitors all alike? How can I be unlike them?”

What did customers want that no one else was offering? To be picked up and dropped off at their home, office or hotel. So Enterprise was the first car rental agency to market that service. How were all the car rental agencies alike? They were all located at airports, so Enterprise located their offices in neighborhoods. Enterprise disrupted the old norm of “customers-have-to-come-to-us” and created a new norm of, “We’ll come to you.” And when you create the next new thing, people’s eyebrows go up and their wallets come out. There’s a dramatic VICTORY to this story. Guess who is now #1 in this multi-billion dollar industry? That’s right, Enterprise. Which goes to show: not only CAN you compete in a crowded market that’s owned by the “big boys,” you can WIN that market if you strategically position yourself to be unlike everyone else by giving your customers something they want and can’t find. It’s not enough to create a winning POD, you must be able to condense it and communicate it, concisely and compellingly. When Enterprise employees are asked, “Why should I rent from you instead of the other guys?” they can say, “Do the other guys come to you? If you’d like the convenience of being picked up and dropped off, we’re your best and only choice.” That’s under 60 seconds and it’s a clear competitive advantage.


Action Plan and Next Steps “You are what you do; not what you say you’ll do.” – Carl Jung What’s your clear competitive edge? Get out the 7 P’s of Strategic Positioning template and brainstorm how to make your messages one-of-a-kind so it breaks out instead of blends in. Want to know another way to create communications that pass The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test? Our next chapter introduces a way to turn HOW into WOW so people love to learn.


Chapter 7: W = WOW

Use The 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule® To Turn How into WOW

“You have to tell a story, not give a lecture. The process of discovery is far more powerful than being told the right answer.” – Seth Godin

One of my clients challenged me, “Sam, I understand what you’re saying about INFObesity, and

I agree that people are drowning in information all day, every day.

But I’m a business owner and leadership trainer. How am I supposed to teach my employees

and program participants what to do if I don’t give them information?”

I told him, “Good question. I’m not suggesting you abandon information; I’m suggesting you

embed it in real-life anecdotes that turn a lecture into an interactive process of discovery.

Why is this so important? Because most people spend 90% or more of their time DELIVERING

information, which puts them squarely in INFObesity territory.

This was never more evident than at a conference I attended for professional speakers.

I’ve made my living giving presentations for the last 20 years, as had many of the people at that

event. Yet the majority were STILL using the out-dated lecture format which is, “I stand up here

and talk, talk, talk. You sit there and take notes while I do a data dump.”

This was especially true for the closing keynoter who was a well-known Olympic athlete.

Put yourself in the scene. This was at the end of a four day event with more than 80 break-out

sessions. Most of us were “listened-out” at that point. Our minds were full after sitting

through hours of being talked-at.

This sports superstar took the stage and launched into his talk. You’ve probably heard some

variation of his journey. He competed from an early age and made many sacrifices for his sport,

forgoing a lot of his childhood for 7 day-a-week workouts and weekend competitions.

After winning his national championship, he qualified for the Olympics but choked at the

Games and finished out of the medals. Depressed and disgusted, he quit the sport.


A couple years later, he decided he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try one more time and

re-dedicated himself to the sport. After months of grueling training, he made the Olympic team

and this time ended up on the medal stand.

And that was that.

Problem was, most attendees had started checking their email halfway through his talk. He got

polite applause, but as I looked around the room, I could tell many people were thinking, “Well,

good for you; but what’s that got to do with me?”

He never once turned the conversation back to us by asking, “Have you ever worked towards a

goal and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted? Did you throw in the towel? Did you decide to

give it one more go so you wouldn’t have regrets? How did that work out?”

Never once did he offer any specific recommendations that might have been applicable for the

audience. He didn’t even leave time for Q and A so attendees could pose a question about

something that was top of mind for them.

Nope, it was pretty much the “Bette Midler in the movie Beaches” approach to communication

… me, me, me, me.

Not long after that, I went to another convention that featured a day-long agenda of 50 minute

talks from well-known internet marketers. One spent the first 25 minutes – I’m not making this

up – the first 25 minutes of his talk showing us photos of his college dorm, wedding, big house,

vacations to exotic locations and visit to the White House.

He then spent the last 15 minutes of his presentation selling his products and services. Really?!

This is not just bordering on offensive; it is offensive. I bet you’ve been there, experienced that,

haven’t you?

The 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule® is Audience-Focused, Not EGO-Focused

“I have heard every excuse in the book, except a good one.” – Bob Greene

From now on, when it’s time to ask people for their valuable attention; promise yourself you’ll

take responsibility for making it worth their while.

If you’re thinking, “I agree with this in theory; but how do I do it in practice?” Here’s how.


Step 1. Instead of starting with and sticking with INFORMATION … start with and stick with an

ANECDOTE. In fact, focus about 70% of your content on anecdotes that illustrate your point.

Step 2. Then extract an organic AHA from that anecdote so the lights go on, the band plays and

people get an epiphany. This should comprise about 10% of your content.

Step 3. Then, ASK three “You” questions so people instantly apply what they just heard to their

circumstances. Your questions should also be about 10% of your content.

Step 4. Then, offer specific ACTIONS so everyone is clear how they can follow-up and produce

real-world benefits from what they just learned. This wraps up the final 10% of your material.

Notice that the proportion and order of your communication emphasizes 70% ANECDOTES, not

90% INFORMATION.

This isn’t a hard and fast formula; it’s just a model to help you map out your material so it keeps

people engaged – from the first minute or page to the last.

Now, if there’s anything you’ve learned from this book; it’s that the above 5 paragraphs TELL

you what to do. What I said may make sense but it probably didn’t grab you. If I continued to

dole out advice, you’d probably start studying the inside of your eyelids.

It’s better to show how to proceed and teach by example, not by explanation. So, here’s an

example that demonstrates how the 70 – 10 – 10 - 10 Rule can turn “how” into “wow.”

An Example of the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule in Action

“Stories are the creative conversion of life itself into a more meaningful experience. They are

the currency of human contact.” – Robert McKee

I had the opportunity to meet Brene’ Brown when she spoke at NASA’s Leadership Colloquium

at Goddard Space Center.

Brene Brown’s talk on The Power of Vulnerability is one of the top ten most most-downloaded

TED videos … deservedly so. She is a walking-talking example of a two-way communicator who

facilitates epiphanies by focusing on anecdotes vs. information.

Brene’ is disarmingly honest about her unexpected transformation from left-brained researcher

to whole-hearted mom fully in love with her kids.


She told us that what she didn’t anticipate was the fear that accompanied becoming a mom.

At this point, instead of telling us how surprised she was to find herself worrying about her kids,

she showed us. She said, “I never used to be a worrier, but I found myself standing in my kids’

room at night. I would watch them sleep … and weep.

Why? I loved them so much, I was afraid something would happen to them. I knew this was

illogical. They were perfectly healthy, perfectly fine. Yet there I was … miserable.

I started researching why feelings of love or happiness are often followed by irrational feelings

of fear. Even if you’re thinking, ‘Not me!’ here’s an anecdote that can open your eyes to how

common this phenomenon is.

A family is driving to their grandparents’ house for Christmas. The parents are snapping at each

other because they’re running behind schedule.

The kids in the back seat sense the tension and try to ease it by launching into a rousing version

of Jingle Bells.

The parents look at each other, realize how ridiculous they’re being, and start singing Jingle

Bells along with their kids.”

At this point, Brene’ asked the audience, “And then what do you think happened?”

Guess what the majority said?? “They get in a car accident.”

Is that what you thought? Do you know what that means?

It means, deep down, you believe happiness is too good to be true. It means, even when things

are going well, you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Arrgghh. Say it ain’t so.

Brene’ said, “It gets worse. To protect ourselves from the pain we feel if something goes wrong

… we project worst case scenarios so we won’t be blindsided when they happen.

Not only does that cut short any joy we might be feeling, that ‘failure forecasting’ increases the

likelihood of something going wrong because that’s what we’re focused on.


Then, if something does go wrong, it proves us “right.” This sets up an unhealthy emotional

spiral where we have even more cause to worry because our “worse fears” seem to come true.

Okay, what’s the point? Look back over Brene’s exploration of this provocative point.

Were you engaged? Were you reflecting on her insight that we sometimes subconsciously

sabotage love by worrying it won’t last? Were you asking yourself if you ever do this - if you

ever short-circuit happiness by telling yourself it’s too good to be true?

That’s because Brene’s anecdotes helped you picture this situation in your mind.

If Brene’ (or I) had just talked about the concept that some people never really enjoy or

appreciate what’s right with their world because they’re afraid it won’t last - that might have

come across as wah-wah rhetoric.

You may have read the words, but not have been impacted by them.

By illustrating her concept with an anecdote and asking people to guess the outcome, Brene’

engaged every single one of us. We all had our own AHA because it was facilitated, not forced.

And yes, she did wrap up with constructive ways to change this destructive “waiting for the

other shoe to drop” default, thereby turning an instructional “how” into an insightful “wow.”

Here’s a break-down of how to use The 70 – 10 – 10 - 10 Rule in your communication.

70% of Your Communication = Anecdote: the First Part of the 70 – 10 – 10 - 10 Rule

“Your opening better be good; or else people won’t stick around to hear the rest of it.” – Author

Lawrence Block

From now on, when speaking and writing, no preliminary remarks. No, “Thank you for that kind

introduction” or “The subject of this article is leadership.”

B-o-r-i-n-g. Those predictable openings indicate you have nothing new to say. People’s eyes

will roll and they’ll already be hauling out their iPhones.

Skip perfunctory remarks and JUMP right into a strategic, vividly told ANECDOTE, defined as “A

short account of a particular incident or event of an interesting nature.”

That’s exactly how you want to start your blog, book chapter, interview or presentation.


Relive a relevant, real-life story that you WWWAVE (as described in Chapter 3). Use back-

and-forth dialogue with vivid, 5 sense imagery to paint a word picture and pull everyone into a

state of entrainment where they are one with you and your story.

Put ‘em in the scene so they are no longer thinking about those U.P.O.’s (Unidentified Piled

Objects) piling up on their desk. So they are no longer tapping away at their digital device or

thinking about where they’d rather be. Immerse yourself in your anecdote so they are

completely absorbed, seeing what you’re saying, feeling what you’re feeling.

Doing this turns the information pyramid upside down and makes your communication

Socratic. What do I mean by Socratic? Socrates said, “People learn best through self-

discovery.”

In other words, instead of saying 2 +2 =4 ... a Socratic teacher will ask “What’s 2 + 2?”

The first gives the answer. The second way elicits it.

The first motivates students to think for themselves and respond. The second shuts students’

imaginations down and turns learning into rote memorization.

Yes, statistics, data and facts are important. But something can “make sense,” yet still leave

people cold.

If decision-makers don’t relate to what you’re saying, they won’t want what you’re offering.

If you want to win buy-in, engage emotions to evoke emotions. Starting with a Dog on a Tanker

anecdote is one of the best ways to do that.

Don’t stop there though. The next step is to segue into the next part of the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10

Rule and pull out an organic AHA from your example so your point is not a platitude.

10% of Your Communication = AHA: The Second Part of the 70 – 10 – 10 - 10 Rule

“When you can do a common thing in an uncommon way; you will command the attention of

the world.” – George Washington Carver

We cannot be content to be common. The good news is, there’s a litmus test you can use to

check whether your communication is going to cause people to go “Duh.”

Simply tell a colleague the primary point of this particular communication. Describe, in 1

minute or less, the idea you want to introduce, the message you want to get across.

Now, watch their eyebrows. If their eyebrows don’t move; what you just said didn’t excite

them. An impassive expression means “Big whoop. So what?”


If you try to wrap your communication around a point that elicits a “So what?” from

people who know and like you … you’re NOT going to win buy-in from people who don’t know

you.

Remember, you want people’s eyebrows to go UP. That means they’re thinking, “Hmmm,

that’s interesting. Tell me more.”

The beauty of starting your communication with a real-life anecdote is there’s often a juicy

conversational “sound bite” that can be turned into a unique metaphor for your point.

For example, instead of giving the rather common suggestion to “use more stories”, I shared

the Dog on a Tanker example and used that unique phrase as a sound-bite suggestion you

(hopefully) hadn’t heard before.

Be sure to LEVERAGE your attention-grabbing AHA’s by turning them into your book, chapter or

presentation title or by coining a metaphorical money-phrase you want people to remember.

A good example of this is author Rory Vaden who titled his book Take the Stairs. Rory could

have titled it, “Using Discipline to Overcome Procrastination,” but that might have elicited a big

yawn. Instead, he pulled out the “phrase that pays” from his signature story and it’s helped his

book POP! off the shelf and become a WSJ and NYT bestseller.

As stated in Chapter 6; one of the best ways to corner a niche is to create a niche.

And the best way to create a niche is to coin your own proprietary, first-of-its-kind phrase. My

book POP! Create the Perfect Pitch, Title and Tagline for Anything - which Seth Godin calls

“revolutionary” - provides 25 ways to do just that.

10% of Your Communication = ASK: The Third Part of the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule

“Never stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

The next step is to hook and hinge your AHA to your audience with three “You” questions.

Why ask at least 3 questions?

Because it increases the likelihood that every single listener or reader will have experienced –

or is experiencing - something in their personal or professional life that’s pertinent to your

point. Now they can relate. Now your story just became their story.

And why do I call these “you” questions?

Because they contain the word “you” in them. It is the easiest way to switch from me-me-me

to make your communication about your audience instead of yourself.


How do you come up with those 3 “you” questions?

This is where visualizing your target customers/readers/listeners comes in handy. Ask yourself:

What are three different scenarios this person might be facing?

What’s on their mind because it’s troubling them and they don’t know what to do?

What’s something they’d like to fix or improve?

What’s important to them – something they’d like to achieve or obtain?

What do they care about? What really matters on a daily basis?

Your goal is to pick three diverse situations so everyone hearing your questions will instantly

relate to at least one of them.

I’m going to emphasize this again because it’s crucial.

It is worth investing time to select and craft these questions. They are the “hook and hinge” of

your communication. They turn the “so what?” into the “I see how this relates to me” which is

a prerequisite for wanting to know “Now what?”

What do I mean by “hook and hinge?” The hook is a key phrase, exact wording, or money

phrase extracted from your ANECDOTE and AHA.

Deliberately integrating your hook “What’s YOUR Dog on a Tanker” story?” into the “Ask”

portion of your presentation imprints those concepts in your audience’s mind – and provides

continuity. This gives a flow to your communication so it makes sense and is easy to follow.

If you have a wonderful AHA pulled from your ANECDOTE and don’t continue to refer to it, it

may be “out-of-sight, out-of-mind.” You want to keep your main points top of mind by

reinforcing them in each part of your 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 communication. If you do a good job of

this, everyone in the audience will remember what you said.

In fact, you can test whether you did this effectively. Just ask readers or audience members,

“What do you remember from my talk, blog or website?”

If the majority don’t mention your AHA’s … they weren’t AHA’s. You didn’t achieve your goal of

communicating them clearly and compellingly enough so they resonated with your audience.

Back to the drawing board.

10 % of Your Communication = ACT: The Fourth Part of the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule

A player asked baseball manager Yogi Berra, “What time is it?”

He said, “You mean now?”


The purpose of most communication isn’t just to inform, educate or entertain – it’s to

engage people in a way that inspires them to take action … now.

Yet many communications end with a whimper or a wimp-out. In fact, do you know how most

people end their presentation? “Thank you for listening.”

Yikes. Talk about leaving money on the table.

If you want people to start, stop or do something different, you can’t afford to be subtle.

You need to plant action seeds that motivate people to follow up and apply what they just

learned to make their life – and/or the lives of the people around them – better.

There is an easy way to inspire people to take specific, measurable actions. Use specific,

measurable words.

Words like:

When you get back to the office tomorrow . . .

Next time you see this person . . .

From now on, every morning when you have your cup of tea or coffee . . .

Promise yourself that, in the first five minutes of Monday’s staff meeting, you’ll . . .

At our next break … at 2:30 . . .

In fact, those words “at our next break,” ended up being a deal-closer for a client who used

them to land a multi-million dollar investor.

I knew the other presenters pitching at this venture capital forum were going to close with a

vague, “Please let me know if you have any questions” or “Thank you for your time.”

I knew my client would stand out and have a competitive advantage if she ended like this.

“I’m Marcia – the one with the white, spiky hair. At our next break at 2:30, I’ll be at our booth

in the right-hand corner of the lobby. If you’d like a copy of our exit strategy, a product

demonstration, or would like to meet our marketing director to hear about the ambitious social

media campaign that will take us viral, please come meet us at our booth. Once again, I’m

Marcia with the white, spiky hair. I look forward to seeing you at 2:30 at our booth.”

Guess who was surrounded by investors at the next break? You’re right, Marcia.

Why? Marcia was the only one who planted clear ACTION seeds in which she gave everyone in

the room three incentive options that appealed to them and let them know exactly where and

how they could follow up. Bravo.


So, from now on, when you’re designing a communication, don’t leave results to chance.

Review your purpose – the WHAT you put on your W5 Form - and then close with 3 clear,

measurable action options so everyone in the room is interested in at least one of them.

Apply the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule to YOUR Communication

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The

great teacher inspires.” - William Arthur Ward

Okay . . . get out The 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule template so you can plan an upcoming

communication.

How are you going to inspire your listeners or readers by demonstrating instead of telling and

explaining? Plan out your ANECDOTES, AHA’s, ASKS and ACTS … and you will be a GREAT

teacher who benefits everyone fortunate enough to be your “student.”


Conclusion: Summary and Plan of Action Plans: What’s Next?

“Are you doing what you’re doing today because it works; or because it’s what you were doing yesterday?” – Dr. Phil

So now, the final question is, “What important communication do you have coming up? How

are you going to intrigue your target decision-makers?

Please turn to The E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test Checklist and W5 Form in the forms section of this book.

How much is “resting” on the success of your upcoming communication? Are you asking for

funding, requesting approval for a priority project, hoping to land a 6 figure client?

Your future may depend on whether or not you can capture the favorable attention, trust and

respect of these decision-makers … and convince them to say yes.

It’s worth investing 10-20 minutes BEFORE that important communication to fill out these

forms.

Doing so will increase the likelihood you’ll win buy-in – and that means money in your pocket.

A Final Reason to Disrupt Your Old Style of Communicating and Adopt the E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test

“A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” – Ruth Reed

My mom was a wise woman. I was telling her about something I was “going” to do, and she

shared the wisdom above. Thanks, Mom.

She’s right. The techniques in this book can make you a much better communicator – which

will benefit you and everyone around you.

But habits die hard.

So, here’s a final anecdote to demonstrate the E.Y.E.B.R.O.W. Test techniques and to

(hopefully) convince you to apply what you’ve just read.

A few summers ago, I got “in the zone” while working on the paperback version of my book

POP! The days flew by. Before I knew it, Labor Day weekend had arrived and I hadn’t gone

swimming once.


I promised myself that wouldn’t happen again. I vowed to swim at least 4 times a week – either

in the lake or in one of the 22 (!) community pools in our community of Reston, near

Washington DC.

One day, I wrapped up a day of consults and went “pool shopping.” I drove past an inviting pool

I hadn’t seen before, tucked back under some shade trees. I impulsively parked and headed in,

armed with my goggles for some lapping and a towel for some napping.

As soon as I walked in, I saw a fountain in the shallow end and realized I’d found the “family”

pool. The place was packed with families. I settled in on the only available chaise lounge next

to a woman watching her three kids, all who looked to be under the age of 10.

Then, a man walked in, still dressed in his business suit. The three kids jumped out of the pool

and ran over to meet him with a thrilled chorus of “Daddeee.”

He gave them a (wet) hug, walked over to the woman next to me, gave her a peck on the cheek

and went into the locker room to change into his swim trunks.

A few moments later, the dad was in the pool, surrounded by his adoring brood.

The kids proudly showed him the swim strokes they’d learned in their lessons, then started

diving off his shoulders into the pool and playing Marco Polo. (It did my heart good to know

families still play Marco Polo.) It was like a scene right out of the Waltons.

All of a sudden, the father stopped and looked up at his wife.

He said, “Hon, why don’t we make this our default? Why don’t we just meet at the pool every

night after work?”

I have to admit. I held my breath. I looked at her, thinking, “Please say yes.”

She looked at him, smiled in agreement and said, “Why don’t we?”

And in that moment, they changed their default. Instead of get up, go to work, come home. Get

up, go to work, come home. It’d be get up, go to work, go to the pool, come home. Get up, go

to work, go to the pool, come home.

Who knows? That simple decision, which took all of 5 seconds to make, could turn that into

what everyone remembers as the magical summer they met Dad at the pool, the summer

everything was right with their world.


What’s that got to do with you?

Many of us are still operating with defaults. Defaults like:

1. Tell ‘em what you’re going to tell ‘em … tell ‘em … tell ‘em what you told ‘em.

2. You can’t change someone’s mind or turn around a no.

3. The best way to get across your idea is to explain it.

4. The purpose of an elevator speech is to tell people what you do.

5. If you’re shy, you’ll never be a confident communicator.

6. There’s no way to get a competitive edge in a crowded marketplace.

7. You teach people by lecturing on how to do something.

I hope this book has helped you see that those outdated defaults undermine your effectiveness

as a communicator.

And I hope you’ll choose to replace them, now not later, with NEW approaches such as:

1. ENGAGE - Don’t Tell, Ask

2. YES – Turn a No into a Yes by Anticipating and Addressing Objections

3. EXAMPLE – Don’t Explain, Give a Dog on a Tanker Example

4. BOND – Turn a 1-way Elevator Speech into a 2-Way Elevator Conversation

5. RESPECT – Establish CLOUT to Exude Confidence and Command Respect

6. ONE-OF-A-KIND – Use the 7 P’s of Strategic Positioning to Stand Out

7. WOW – Use the 70 – 10 – 10 – 10 Rule to turn How into WOW

I’ll wrap up with two of my favorite quotes. Tony Robbins said, “If you change nothing; nothing

changes.” A. A. Milne said, “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter

than you think.” May you use these techniques to change your communication - for good.

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