The Decision

The Recruitment of Ryan NelsonTo the

Memphis Grizzlies

Ryan, in the words of Uncle Sam, we want you. There is no simpler way to describe the Grizzlies passion to have your butt rooting for the likes of Gay in 2010.

We know your love of the food. Memphis gives the finger to a $40 porterhouse. We say $50 and it’s all you can eat. Green Flag means my stomach has not reached the brink.

The original Cougar wants to go Moonlighting with you. Memphis is your Sheperd and she is all that you want.

3 hours and 24 minutes. That’s what separates you from your team. What other team can offer that? I say to you – none.

The King of Rock n Roll. What caused you to begin this search for a team? The King in Cleveland. Coincidence – I think not. It’s like fate is tapping you on the shoulder with it’s one eyed snake.

When you decide to announce your choice – who are you going to use to send your contract? The USPS? Hell no. UPS? Too close of spelling to USPS. So Fedex it is. Where is it based? Memphis.

There’s a reason The First 48 decided to film in Memphis. It wasn’t because our detectives suck. You get shot – it’s a guarantee they find your killer in 48 hours or less or your life is back. Cat’s have nine lives they say – in Memphis – they have 81. It’s a fact.

I know what your thinking. Why are you showing the White House for the Memphis Grizzlies. Well, that ain’t the white house. It’s better than the White House. That’s effing Graceland.

Someone told me you liked the ribs. Who doesn’t? We even gave one to women. Where else can you be treated like crap but don’t mind going back? Very few and this is the original.

How many times can you scream "I love Gay" and not get a double take. Only one place I can think of – THE FEDEX FORUM.