the crusader vol. 69 issue 3

8
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” –Henry David oreau e Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons was a dream for many years, and now the foundations have been laid, the walls have been built, and the castle stands regally on the NNU campus. e ground was broken for the new building on March 8, 2013, and it was dedi- cated on October 9, 2014, nineteen months later. Sharon Bull, Library Director and Dean of Academic Services, took part in the initial planning ses- sions for e Learning Commons and got to be part of the ‘dream team’ that conceived it. She makes it clear that this new building will be like nothing NNU has ever had. First of all, it is not a library - it’s e Learning Commons. What exactly does this mean? Bull says, “Back in medieval En- gland, a commons was a place ev- erybody could use, to hunt, graze, grow crops, etc.,” In this modern commons, we will be hunting for books and growing relationships. As she continues with a list of all the departments that will be in- cluded in the new building, it be- comes clear that this place will be more than ‘just’ a library. Services that are open to the general NNU community include the Riley Library, the Center for Academic Success and Advising, and Technology and Media Re- sources [TMR]. Additionally, the Doceo Center (“a grant-funded center where they research dif- ferent kinds of technology to be used in instruction”), E-learning, University Archives, and IT will be housed in the commons. ir- ty-seven NNU staff members will have offices there. e new commons is more than twice the size of the old Riley Library - 57,000 square feet com- pared to 22,000. e shell of the Riley Library, built in 1966, is part of the new commons on its west- ern end, but Bull says, “You proba- bly won’t recognize anything when you go in there.” e commons has seventeen group study rooms, one large quiet reading room, a study space with 24/7 ac- cess, and let’s not for- get the two gas fire- places. Additionally, a snack café replacing the well-loved Perk will be located in the commons. is new student hub, resurrected from the soda fountain that existed at NNC until 1962, will be called e Bean. e Learning Commons was made possible by a $6 million giſt from Leah Peterson in 2007. Peterson attended one year at NNC in the 1920s, got her teach- ing certificate, and then taught school in Alaska. Planning for the new commons began in 2008, but building could not begin until the additional donation of $4 million NNU welcomes Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons THE Northwest Nazarene University Sarah Blum writer forThe Crusader What’s Inside? campus news features sports arts and entertainment Fresheree....................................................pg. 2 Library Continued.................................pg. 3 Exploring Nampa...................................pg. 3 Campus Events.....................................pg. 2 Student Highlight..................................pg. 4 Wow, that was Random.....................pg. 4 Senate Says.............................................pg. 5 Around the Globe................................pg. 6 Men’s Soccer ..........................................pg. 7 Sports Schedule...................................pg. 7 Mama Mandy .....................................pg. 8 Sudoku....................................................pg. 8 volume 69 issue 3 see Library on pg. 3 ANGELA MONROE Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons in the final stages of construction Back in medieval England, a commons was a place everybody could use, to hunt, graze, grow crops, etc.,” Sharon Bull Library Director and Dean of Academic Services Breast Cancer Awareness Month

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Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons, Fresheree Recap, World News Around the Globe, International Athletes on Men's Soccer Team, and much more!

TRANSCRIPT

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.” –Henry David Thoreau

The Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons was a dream for many years, and now the foundations have been laid, the walls have been built, and the castle stands regally on the NNU campus. The ground was broken for the new building on March 8, 2013, and it was dedi-cated on October 9, 2014, nineteen months later.

Sharon Bull, Library Director and Dean of Academic Services, took part in the initial planning ses-sions for The Learning Commons and got to be part of the ‘dream team’ that conceived it. She makes it clear that this new building will be like nothing NNU has ever had. First of all, it is not a library - it’s The Learning Commons.

What exactly does this mean? Bull says, “Back in medieval En-gland, a commons was a place ev-

erybody could use, to hunt, graze, grow crops, etc.,” In this modern commons, we will be hunting for books and growing relationships. As she continues with a list of all the departments that will be in-cluded in the new building, it be-comes clear that this place will be more than ‘just’ a library.

Services that are open to the general NNU community include the Riley Library, the Center for Academic Success and Advising, and Technology and Media Re-sources [TMR]. Additionally, the Doceo Center (“a grant-funded center where they research dif-ferent kinds of technology to be used in instruction”), E-learning, University Archives, and IT will be housed in the commons. Thir-ty-seven NNU staff members will have offices there.

The new commons is more than twice the size of the old Riley

Library - 57,000 square feet com-pared to 22,000. The shell of the Riley Library, built in 1966, is part of the new commons on its west-ern end, but Bull says, “You proba-bly won’t recognize anything when you go in there.” The commons has seventeen group study rooms, one large quiet reading room, a study

space with 24/7 ac-cess, and let’s not for-get the two gas fire-places. Additionally, a snack café replacing the well-loved Perk

will be located in the commons. This new student hub, resurrected from the soda fountain that existed at NNC until 1962, will be called The Bean.

The Learning Commons was made possible by a $6 million gift from Leah Peterson in 2007. Peterson attended one year at NNC in the 1920s, got her teach-ing certificate, and then taught school in Alaska. Planning for the new commons began in 2008, but building could not begin until the additional donation of $4 million

NNU welcomes Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons

THE

Northwest Nazarene University

Sarah Blumwriter forThe Crusader

What’s Inside? campus

news

features

sports arts and entertainment

Fresheree....................................................pg. 2Library Continued.................................pg. 3Exploring Nampa...................................pg. 3

Campus Events.....................................pg. 2Student Highlight..................................pg. 4Wow, that was Random.....................pg. 4

Senate Says.............................................pg. 5Around the Globe................................pg. 6

Men’s Soccer..........................................pg. 7Sports Schedule...................................pg. 7

Mama Mandy.....................................pg. 8Sudoku....................................................pg. 8

volume 69 issue 3

see Library on pg. 3ANGELA MONROE

Leah H. Peterson Learning Commons in the final stages of construction

“ Back in medieval England, a commons was a place everybody could use, to hunt, graze, grow crops, etc.,”

Sharon BullLibrary Director and Dean of Academic Services

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2 | Wednesday, October 15, 2014Volume 69 Issue 3

Did you hear? The circus is in town! This year’s Fresheree theme was inspired by the 1930’s circus and it was stellar to behold. The atmosphere of the Big Top was definitely there, with classic popcorn vendors, men on stilts, and an incredibly lively audience.

Janson Card and Samantha Lundberg hosted as we were all treated to a night of fun and laughter. Before the show even began, Card and his group put on a wick-ed dance number featuring a variety of

exotic animals. How he trained those fe-rocious beasts is a mystery, but it was cer-tainly a sight to behold.

Jordan Dyk kicked off the night with his amazing magic act. I’ve been trying to figure it out for days now! How he does it, we may never know. It was impressive and entertaining, nonetheless!

It’s no secret that a first date can be in-credibly awkward. Drew Johnson helped the guys out by listing off some important questions to ask her during those delicate dates.

The ever-amusing Brent Conrad pre-sented us with something a bit different.

Rather than simply performing one tal-ent, he combined 2 of them to bring us a hybrid of comedy and contortion. A contormedy act, if you will. I had no idea it was possible to do such a thing until it was proven to me and everyone present that night.

As the night went on, we got to witness a woman get overly worked up over dog food, watch a group lay down some sick rhymes as they rapped a selection of Dr. Seuss classics, and see some truly impres-sive feats of parkour.

The show came to a screeching halt when Grant Miller performed his song about birds. Unfortunately it was in their native tongue, so it sounded pretty fowl. This wasn’t his only time to steal the spot-light, though. He also got to perform a number of whip tricks and show off his talent for spaghetti slurping. Those that

were there know what I mean and were thoroughly disgusted/impressed.

One of the classiest acts of the night was also the one that left me feeling con-flicted. It was a beautiful rendition of “Down to the River to Pray,” but sung while wearing... fancy suits and swim-suits. The combination of a classy perfor-mance and an offbeat sense of humor was awesome and left me feeling emotional and confused.

To end the night on a bang, there was a glorious portrayal of the most iconic song from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, faithful-ly recreated to be as close to the original as possible.

That concludes Fresheree 2014, yet another great year of talent and laugh-ter. Even though this one might be over, there’s always next year, so start planning your act now!

features

Campus Events for October Crusader Staff ContactWednesdays @ 9pm Timeout in the Sader Dome

Thursdays @ 7:30pm Drinks at the Brick House

October 17th & 18th TWIRP

Avery Russell Editor in Chief [email protected] Rose Assistant Editor [email protected] Wren Design Editor [email protected] Ostyn Writer [email protected] Blum Writer [email protected] Roemhildt Writer [email protected] Monroe Photographer [email protected] McCarty Photographer [email protected] Mostul Business Manager [email protected]

Come one! Come all!Eric Ostyn

writer forThe Crusader

BRITTANY MCCARTYFresheree host Janson Card prepares for his debut

BRITTANY MCCARTYGroup of NNU students performing Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Under the big top at Fresheree

| 3Wednesday, October 15, 2014 Volume 69 Issue 3

from the Albertson Foundation in the fall of 2012. Thanks to these kind do-nors, NNU will soon have a library af-ter more than a year of using Helstrom and various wings in Ford Hall to house books. Finally, like the people of medie-valEngland, we have a welcoming place to meet in common. We will have so much more than a library - we will have a castle.

You may find yourself wanting to get off campus and wondering, “What is there to do around Nampa”? At first glance, it may not seem like there are many places to explore or things to do, but that’s where you’re wrong. Most of you know the usual hangouts downtown, such as the Flying M Coffee Garage and Messenger Pizza, but pretty soon those places start to feel like an extension of campus and you’re real-ly itching to try something new. Well I’m here to tell you, you’re in luck!

One of the really great things to do in downtown Nampa is the Art Walk, put on by the downtown Nampa businesses on second Fridays from 5:00 to 9:00pm. The Art Walk showcases the work of var-ious local artists and is always great fun! Although the last Art Walk of the season was on October 10, it will start up again in the spring. So if you are interested or want more information, check in with facebook.com/nampaartwalk.

Another fun place for all you crafty people out there is Puffy Mondaes. Locat-ed on the corner of 12th hosts a variety of craft classes, from pottery to bookbind-

ing, and everything in between! Yeah, it’s a little hard to get to due to the construc-tion of the new library downtown, but hey, that’s going to be great too!

Even more fun things to do! Did you know that downtown Nampa has at least three antique/vintage, refurbished décor stores? The Mustard Seed, located on 3rd St, is a family-owned business that sells unique items completely repainted or re-furbished by the store owners. With a va-riety of styles and prices, it is a store that every NNU student should check

Vintiques is another family owned an-tique/vintage store located on the corner of 13th Ave and 2nd St. This store boasts more farm style items remade into home – or dorm – decorations.With friendly owners and reasonable prices you have to check this place out!

Third Hand Antiques is located on 1st what was once Nampa’s “Antique Mall” earlier this year, and has since trans-formed it into an amazing, uncluttered store full of unique antique and refur-bished items, and a coffee shop! Not only can you get some pretty rad items here but you can also grab some breakfast or lunch while you explore the wonders of down-town Nampa.

Last on the list of treasured Nampa lo-cations, is the Nampa Civic Center. While it doesn’t always have an event going on, it is home to a vast array of magnificent plays with talented actors and actresses. This month’s play is one you definitely won’t want to miss. On October 23rd at 7:30 pm, Sweeney Todd, The Demon Bar-ber of Fleet Street will be performed in the Nampa Civic Center auditorium. For

those of you who haven’t seen the movie, it is a story of murderous revenge-seeking barber and his downstairs neighbor, the owner of a pie shop who together create the addicting new mysterious meat pie that has the whole town begging for more! Suspenseful and hilarious, this is a show you won’t want to miss. Still think there’s nothing fun to do off campus in Nampa? Go exploring and email us with the details of your grand – or not-so-grand – adven-tures! [email protected]

Library

Exploring our extended community

ANGELA MONROE

Marina Roseassistant editor forThe Crusader

this weekend October 17th and 18ththeme: Beauties and the Beasts

Are you going?

4 | Wednesday, October 15, 2014Volume 69 Issue 3

What do you think of when you hear the term “philosophy major”? A pomp-ous intellectual? A depressed hipster? Do you ever think of an outgoing, genuine-ly loving person? Icertainly wasn’t ex-pecting the latter, but that’s exactly how I would describe Steven Coles, a senior philosophy student from La Grande, Or-egon.

Coles believes that Northwest Naz-arene University was “the beacon that saved [him] from La Grande,” a place where he never truly felt like he fit in.

“It’s a small town in the middle of no-where. If you don’t dress like a cowboy or a hick, you don’t fit in.”

When Coles’ best friend came to NNU during Coles’ senior year of high school, Coles spent a lot of time on cam-pus.

“NNU has this amazing, loving com-munity. It has had such a positive impact on my life. Even my family has noticed

the effect it has had on me, and they all sport NNU gear.”

Coles has been involved in various roles during his time at NNU, serving for two years as a Peer Mentor and a year as a Resident Assistant. He also served on the Yearbook team one year and is currently working in the Brick House. So for those of you wondering how to make it through college, Coles says, “Be involved.” Now he doesn’t mean to only be involved in extra activities and events, but to take an active interest in your classes, whether they are part of your major or just your core class-es. Your time here matters, the way you interact in your classes, with your pro-fessors, the staff and your fellow students will impact the rest of your life. Each stu-dent’s involvement emphasizes our com-munity of love and learning.

Coles says, “My passion is loving peo-ple. I just want to get to know others on a deeper level. That’s part of the reason that I feel called to ministry. I want to be a part of reaching people where they are at, and loving them for who they are. I want to journey with people as they go through their lives.”

Although Coles genuinely believes that NNU has created a community of love and compassion, he believes that we can do more as a community.

“We need to take Jesus’ words to love your neighbor as yourself seriously. This extends to everyone, not just the people that are like us or believe the same things as us. As a community we need to extend our love to every person we encounter regardless of our differences.”

Not only is Coles a person that you should meet, he is a person who really wants to meet you. Wherever you are in your life, spiritually, emotionally, physi-cally, Coles is a person who will meet you there, a person who will love you for who you are right now, not just for the person you want to be.

Student highlight Wow, that was random...Steven Coles By WyattThanstrom, Class of 2018

Hey ya’ll! I hope that you are having a wonderful college experience so far. Now that Fall Break is over, can you believe that midterms are already around the corner? Well, even if you can’t believe it, they are still coming. Well here are some very random--and totally stupid--facts that may--or most probably will not--make you laugh…or scratch your head in total bewilderment:

Random pointless fact #1. Gravity works. I know. Total sur-

prise.#2. Pi out to the 25th place past the

decimal is place past the decimal is 3.14159265358979323846264338. If you actually counted, you would find that I went twenty-six places past the decimal. I just wanted to see how many of you would actually take the time to count all of the numbers.

#3. There are 83,642 square miles in Idaho. NNU consists of only 0.141 square miles (90 acres). Therefore, NNU makes

up only 1/593,206th of Idaho’s territory. Pretty neat huh?

#4. In a 6 ounce Yoplait Strawberry Cheesecake flavored yogurt cup, there are 170 calories. Just in case you were wonder-ing.

For my story this week, it is mainly a piece of advice. Nev-er play hide-and-go-seek in the dark. On crutches. In a house with a lot of staircases.

I’m just saying. There are two reasons for this: Number one is that crutches make a lot of sound, which means you cannot sneak up on people--no matter how hard I tried. Number two is that if you’re on crutches, you probably had to go to the hospital in the first place; if you are playing near stairs, there is a good chance that you will be going back. After a detour that involved my crutches taking a joy ride down a flight of stairs, me hanging onto the railing for dear life, and lots of screaming, I thankfully did not return to the ER. Although the sound of the, uh, accident caused a lot of commotion, I was unharmed…mostly. I did find out who my true friends were though; they helped me up after they fin-ished laughing. Now that is a sure sign of true friendship, ladies and gentlemen.

Marina Roseassistant editor forThe Crusader

campus

BRITTANY MCCARTY

AVERY RUSSELL

| 5Wednesday, October 15, 2014 Volume 69 Issue 3

The past two weeks in senate, two bills were brought to the table for dis-cussion, and a supplemental session was called to discuss another. Senator Brandt Bullock was elected President Pro Tem-pore, which means he would run senate meetings in place of the Executive Vice President if he were to be absent.

In the supplemental session, the bill “Freshman Social Board Temporary Expansion,” suggested by Chief Justice Multop, was discussed. This bill called for the Freshman Social Board position to be expanded due to a tie in both the initial and runoff elections. The bill was passed.

SB 14-09-03 “Stand Club Class M Status Bill,” submitted by senator Phil Haunschild, was voted on and passed. The bill sought to convert the Stand Club from class “B” status to class “M.” What this means is that the Stand Club will now be considered an “M,” for Min-istry, club and is now eligible to ask for money from the ASNNU Senate. For more information on the stand club, contact Kilen Multop.

SB 14-10-1 “Journeys Travel Expens-es” asked senate for $2,500 to subsidize the travel expenses for the Moab camp-ing, hiking, and biking trip, and also a shuttle to Bogus Basin this winter. Sen-ate voted to table the bill and moved to refer the bill to an ad hoc committee, consisting of Senators Welch, Gray, and Roemhildt. The bill will be voted on during the October 15th Senate session, after said committee reports back.

Senate SaysWilliam Roemhildtwriter forThe Crusader

6 | Wednesday, October 15, 2014Volume 69 Issue 3

Greetings. I hope you have all had a wonderful fall break. As we launch into the second half of this semester I’d like to update you on the exciting new format of the “World News” column (well, exciting to me at least)! In the past few issues we have written what we would call “feature articles,” about a major news story, and really expounded all the facts and figures so you, the reader, can get a good grip on the matter. The direction I am planning on taking it is more of a “quick-hit” for-mat to give you the essential information you need to know to keep up on six, eight, maybe even ten world news stories. My hope is that this change in format will re-sult in more globally conscious students here at NNU, and a news article that is accessible to even the busiest student. Let me know what you think!

ISIS in SyriaThe Islamic State [IS] aggressively

continues its campaign on the Syrian city of Kobane, a strategic point on the Turk-ish border. The Turkish government has voiced its support to “do everything it can” to keep Kobane from falling. Mean-while, US and British warplanes are joined by fighter jets from Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, in raids on the IS. The Islamic State continues its strategy of beheading American and British relief workers in response to these raids.

Ebola – Situation on the groundThe World Health Organization

[WHO] has reported that the death toll has passed 3,000, with over 6,500 being infected. The mortality rate has increased to 70%. The most affected country, Libe-

ria, accounts for over 1,800 fatalities. In-ternational relief efforts have been in full swing, but a combination of logistics, pol-itics, and the rapid spread of the virus has proven their efforts underwhelming. The American military is currently scram-bling to construct 18 treatment centers across Liberia, uniquely engineered for Ebola treatment.

Hong Kong ProtestsIn the recent Hong Kong protests over

the legitimacy of democratic elections, protesters were attacked in the Mong Kok neighborhood. The attacks are represen-tative of the torn opinions and forces at play within the troubled area. Of the 19 arrested in the attacks, eight of them have relations to organized crime triads in the region; leading many to believe that the attacks are a political move by the tri-ads. Leaders of the student-led protests have withdrawn from negotiations with the government, citing law enforcement’s hesitancy to respond to the “brawl.” All this comes less than a week after protest-ers were tear-gassed in downtown Hong Kong.

Secret ServiceDirector of the Secret Service Julia

Pierson resigned on September 30 and will be replaced by former agent Joseph Clancy. Pierson’s resignation comes after a man jumped the White House fence and entered the presidential mansion. This was the last straw in a long line of mis-conduct and irresponsibility on the part of “The Service.”

world newsWilliam Roemhildtwriter forThe Crusader

Around the globe

top comparison of Ebola death rates within two months, note USA now has one death

bottom Former Director of the Secret Service Julia Pierson

| 7Wednesday, October 15, 2014 Volume 69 Issue 3

The life of a student athlete is a busy one, with anywhere from 14-20 hours of practice, weight-lifting, team meetings, and athletic rehab every week on top of the regular load of homework and other extracurricular activities. Imagine travel-ling thousands of miles to a place you’ve never been where you don’t know anyone and participate in all the above activities while speaking a second language.

This is the experience of many inter-national student-athletes.

NNU has athletes from Spain, the Czech Republic, Cameroon, Germany, Mexico, and Norway, but the men’s soc-cer team, with five exchange students, has the most of any team.

Einar Jenssen, better known as Sun-shine, is a freshman and starting outside back from Oslo, Norway. In describing the contrast between the GNAC and the club he played for in Norway, he said, “The style of play is maybe more physical here and more tactical back home, and here you have as many substitutes as you want, and the referees tend to let more go“ (In European club rules, only three subs are allowed per game).

Rene Dueval of Wiesdbaden, Ger-many, is pursuing a graduate degree while playing midfield for the Saders. He agreed that American collegiate soccer is more physical and faster-paced and added, “College soccer is really professional compared to soccer in Europe--except pro soccer--starting from the trainers, times of practice, traveling, etcetera. People here really give every-thing to become successful with their team.” On September 27, Dueval scored the winning goal in sudden-death double

overtime against Simon Fraser, who was ranked third in the nation in a preseason poll. To come back from a 2-0 deficit to win with eight seconds left against one of the best teams in the nation was one of the highlights of the season so far for the whole team.

Moments like that make soccer mem-orable and the student-athlete experience worthwhile—but that does not mean coming to NNU was an easy thing to do for these international students.

Brian Neba left his entire family behind when he came from Cameroon to attend school in the United States. Diffi-culties with his visa prevented him from attending school for two years.

He was finally able to enroll at BSU, and while playing soccer in a park one day, met an NNU soccer player who invited him to meet head coach Coe Michaelson. A tryout day was set up, and two weeks before school started, he registered at NNU and joined the men’s soccer team. In Cameroon it was too dif-ficult to play soccer while he was enrolled at school, but even though he initially

came to NNU for soccer, he knows he is getting more than he bargained for.

“The people here are nicer, and the education is a little bit more highly valued and the classrooms are smaller. When I put all that in perspective, I thought this is a good place for me to

study at.” In addition to playing soccer and being a nursing student, Neba works at Sodexo and serves in the Army Na-tional Guard. Life is very busy for these

student-athletes, and it doesn’t make it any easier that the comforts of home are thousands of miles away.

When asked the hardest thing about coming to the U.S., Jenssen answered, “Homesickness and the fact that you are so far away from your family and friends.” While that probably isn’t sur-prising, Dueval admits one thing did surprise him.

“One thing that kind of overwhelmed me was the way your teammates and other people from NNU talk to you. Everyone is so nice, and you could call our team a family. We trust each other and help each other no matter if it’s on the field or outside the field.”

Neba concurs: “It’s just the people at NNU. You can always count on them being nice.” The life of collegiate athletes is a hectic one, but the NNU community has been key in making the experience a pleasant one for these guys.

It doesn’t hurt either that the men’s team has been performing phenomenally and having their best season on record so far.

Sarah Blumwriter forThe Crusader

sportsInternational athletes make NNU home

Sports for OctoberOctober 16th - Women’s Volleyball @ NNU against Saint Martin’s University 7pmOctober 18th - Women’s Volleyball @ NNU against Western Oregon University 7pmOctober 23rd - Men’s Soccer @ NNU against Simon Fraser University (B.C.) 4pmOctober 23rd - Women’s Soccer @ NNU against Western Oregon University 1:30pmOctober 25th - Men’s Soccer @ NNU against Western Washington University 3pmOctober 25th - Women’s Soccer @ NNU against Saint Martin’s University NoonOctober 30th - Men’s Soccer @ NNU against Seattle Pacific University 1:30pmOctober 30th - Women’s Soccer @ NNU against Western Washington University 4pmOctober 30th - Women’s Volleyball @ NNU against Western Washington University 7pmNovember 1st - Men’s Soccer @ NNU against Saint Martin’s University 3pmNovember 1st - Women’s Soccer @ NNU against Montana State University-Billings NoonNovember 1st - Women’s Volleyball @ NNU against Some Fraser University (B.C.) 7pm

BRITTANY MCCARTYNNU men defeat South Dakota School of Mines and Technology on October 2 at home

8 | Wednesday, October 15, 2014Volume 69 Issue 3

Dearest Mother Mandibles,I have a question for a friend. My

friend is concerned about the line that lies between emotional support and ex-tra-sympathetic enabling of the vicious cycle of self-pity, for which the “Final Destination (3)” can only be a pointless wallow-fest. My friend feels that one of the central joys inherent in friendship is the give and take of emotional sup-port. But here is where my friend’s vision blurs... At what point does supporting a friend in need turn to a masochistic cy-cle of dwelling on the failures of the past and/or the troubles of the future? The goal of support within a friendship is to join arms and walk ever onward in the company of “A Few Good Men,” always seeking a better state of being. How does my friend know when to lend a “The Help”ing hand and when to Terminat(or 2: The Judgment Day) the sadness and tell their friend that troubles eventually should be “Left Behind?”Yours Truly,“Little Miss Eternal Sunshine of the Spot-less Mind”

Eternal Sunshine,Having a strong bond of trust that al-

lows you to share your joys and concerns with someone is a sign of a good friend-ship. A good friend sympathizes with struggles, failures, and pain - but a great friend will not let you stay there. You referenced The Help, which offers a per-fect example of this. Eugenia complains that she didn’t get asked to the dance because boys think she’s ugly, and Con-stantine tells her, “Now you quit feeling sorry for yourself. Now that’s ugly. Ugly is something that grows up from inside you. It’s mean and hurtful, like them boys.” Where to draw the line, you ask? When your friend’s outlook is depen-dent on your sympathy, you’ve crossed the line. What that means is, if they are chronically coming to you with griev-ances, it may be because you’re the only person who will listen, and you are in fact encouraging their self-pity. It’s okay to listen at first, offer comforting advice, and perhaps even join in the whining and “wallowing” for a moment, because if friends cannot vent to each other, where can they vent? But it should not be long before you notice a change in the friend, and he starts making more positive re-marks towards his condition on his own. If a friend seems to be looking for justi-fication in their bellyaching, don’t take the bait! Deny the wallow fest, for both of your goods.Mama Mandy

Need advice? Email your friendly advice columnist at [email protected] for answers to your most trying questions, from relationships and dating to cetology! Mama’s got the answers.

a&eMama Mandy: Little Miss Sunshine Quote of the issue

Sudoku: easy

“The only person you are destined to become is the

person you decide to be.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson