The courage to challenge

• Should be willing to challenge a leader’s behavior and policies – behavior is the most difficult

• Leaders and followers are BOTH guardians of the purpose. Part of the courageous follower’s role is to help the leader honor the contract. If we do not challenge a leader about dysfunctional behavior, the contract is slowly voided.

• Appropriate behavior – skillful questioning• Preparing a leader for feedback

– Defuse defensiveness: convey respect and remind the leader of the value of honesty

– Link to valued outcomes– Create empathy: “I understand what you are

up against….”

• Giving feedback– Focus negative on behavior – avoid being

personal– Use “I” statements

Assertive Communication

• The ability to communicate clearly and directly what you need or want from another person in a way that does not deny or infringe upon the other’s rights.

• Use I-statements rather than you-statements; produce dialogue rather than defensiveness.

Assertive vs. Aggressive

Assertive Aggressive

Verbal Statement of wants. Honest statement of feelings. Direct statements which say what you mean. I statements.

“Loaded” words. Accusations. Subjective terms. “You” statements that blame or label

Nonverbal general demeanor

Attentive listening. Generally assured manner, communicating caring support.

Exaggerated show of strength. Flippant, sarcastic style.

Air of superiority.

Voice Firm, warm, well modulated, relaxed Tensed, shrill, loud, shaky; cold, demanding; superior, authoritarian

Eyes Open, frank, direct. Eye contact, but not glaring or staring

Expressionless, narrowed, cold, glaring; not really “seeing” others

Stance and posture

Well balanced, straight on, open, erect, relaxed

Hands on hips, arms crossed, feet apart. Stiff, rigid, rude.

Hands Relaxed motions Clenched. Abrupt gestures, fingerpointing, fist pounding.

I-statements: Three components

1. A specific and nonblaming description of the behavior exhibited by the other person

2. The concrete effects of that behavior

3. The speaker’s feelings about the behavior

I-statement examples

Behavior Effects Feelings

When you come late to our meetings

We have to use valuable time bringing you up-to-date, and others end up doing your share of the work

And I resent that

When you interrupt me I lose my train of thought and don’t get to make my point

And that makes me angry

When you don’t complete your team assignments

It disrupts the team’s ability to complete it’s mission

And that concerns me

Assertive communication

• In addition to using I-statements:– Empathize with the other person’s position

in the situation– Specify what changes you would like to

see in the situation or in another’s behavior, and offer to negotiate those changes with the other person

– Indicate, in a nonthreatening way, the possible consequences that will follow if change does not occur.

Assertive Communication: An example

• “When you are late to meetings, I get angry because I think it is wasting the time of all the other team members and we are never able to get through our agenda items. I would like you to consider finding some way of planning your schedule that lets you get to these meetings on time. That way, we can be more productive at the meetings and we can all keep to our tight schedules.”

• Giving a leader input– Feedback is given in response to actions taken; input

advises on actions being contemplated.– Principle should be to include all key players, not a

bilateral agreement.

• Challenging indirectly– Find ways to engage rather than alarm the leader.– Questions to shift perspective: “Is there another way

we can look at this situation?”– Anticipating questions others might ask of the leader

about her policy: “How would we respond to the concern that….”

• Avoiding knee-jerk rejection– Don’t ask for and don’t expect an immediate action or

decision – allow time for the leader to “think about it”– Keep the door open for the leader to reflect

• Overcoming groupthink– Group self-image of infallibility and superiority

• The duty to obey– If we choose to continue being a follower of this

leader and if the policies are not morally repugnant to us, we have the responsibility to implement the policies.

– We have the right to challenge policies, but do not have the right to sabotage implementation.

• Challenge abuse early• Challenging the use of language• Arrogance – leaders believe they are

qualitatively different from their followers• Leaders who scream• Personal issues (e.g. infidelities, sexual

harassment, substance abuse)• Newly elevated leaders• Leaders who have other agendas• Leaders who won’t challenge their leaders• Challenge thyself, too – BEFORE challenging

the leader.