THE COLLEGE CORDVOL. 17 WATERLOO ONT., FEB., 1941 AN UNDERGRAD PUBLICATION NO. 4

Athenaeum Society Holds a Skating PartySkating EnjoyedAt Central SchoolRink

On Wednesday, Feb. 11, the newexecutive of the Athenaeum Societyorganized a skating party at CentralSchool rink in Waterloo. The nightwas clear and cold and Waterloo's"beauty and her chivalry" were out,almost in full force to enjoy it.

Skating lasted from 8:30 to 10:00p.m. Despite such strenuous exer-cise many of the students were ableto walk back to the College, some ofthem limping not too badly. Themore serious cases were safely con-veyed to the school in Craig Alles'car.

During a lunch of hot-dogs andexcellent coffee, (without a suspicionof salt in it, by the way), Eldy Wink-ler provided us with some fine enter-tainment on the piano. Interspersedwith the Winkler version of certaincurrent song hits were several heart-rending duets by Eldy and Mr.Minke. In spite of the talent dis-played by these lads, they insist theyhave no professional designs andwill continue their studies.

The party was well planned andsuccessfully carried out and our newexecutive is to be congratulated forits efforts.

With Our AlumniWe are all proud of Dr. Jefferis,

our popular Classics professor, forhis promotion to the rank of secondlieutenant of the C.O.T.C. unit in thecollege. Congratulations, Dr. Jefferisfrom all of us.

Edward Nye '32 is now head of theDepartment of History of the Sud-bury Collegiate. Recently he hasbeen placed in charge of the cadetsof the school.

We were very sorry to hear of themisfortune that came to Use Aksim,of the class of '40. Just before Christ-mas her boarding house in Thessalon,where she is teaching, caught fireand burned almost everything, in-cluding her books.

Elsa Christiansen, '40, is on thestaff of the Cobden ContinuationSchool, teaching French, English,Physical Training and Home Econ-omics.

Dr. Frank Rand, a former profes-sor of the college is now in Cairo onthe staff of the American UniversityHe is also editing a weekly magazinefor the troops stationed there.

Emil (Joe) Anderson is now inLiverpool, A.R.P. While he was atWaterloo he was a prominent partic-ipant in the college plays. Before thewar he was studying medicine inHeidelberg, Germany.

Lieutenant Douglas Stuebing is inEngland with the Canadian Armour-ed division.

Beverley Pugh of the Royal Cana-dian naval Volunteer Reserve hasbeen promoted probationally to therank of sub-lieutenant. He was oneof three chosen to try the exams forthe position. At present, he is con-

tinuing his training in Victoria, B.C.Flight Lieutenant Wilfred Bean

who is overseas with the R.C.A.F.has been promoted the post of squad-ron leader. Before the war he be-longed the Kitchener-Waterloo Fly-ing Club where he received his ini-tial training and a Civil Pilot's Li-cence. In 1939 he became a pilotofficer of the 119th Bomber Recon-naissance Squadron, Hamilton. Hereceived his wings at Camp Bordenand was called up for active servicethe first day of the war, Sept. 3, 1939.He rose to the rank of flying officer,and then flight lieutenant. When hewent overseas last August to join theR.C.A.F. Torpedo Bomber Squadronhe had the distinction of flying anew bomber across the Atlantic.

Lieutenant Ralph Tailby's recentmarriage to Miss Lucy Kuntz ofWaterloo was an interesting event tohis former friends and classmates ofWaterloo College. Ralph was well

College Glee-ClubConductor NarrowlyEscapes Asphixiation

The early arrival of the caretakerof St. Andrew's Churchis credited with saving the life ofMr. Bernard Hirons. The unfortun-ate accident occurred on Saturdayvening, January 31. Mr. Hirons wentdown to the church to prepare forthe Sunday services and to completean annual report. He went to thelarge church kitchen to make a cupof tea for himself. It is believed thathe collapsed after he turned on thegas for the stove and before he ig-nited it or that he collapsed afterhe had put the water on for thetea and the water boiled over andextinguished the flame. Mr. Hironshad had the flu that same week andhad been under the doctor's care forsome time. He was found on the kit-chen floor the next morning by thecaretaker who summoned the doc-tor immediately. The doctor had Mr.Hirons rushed to the K-W Hospital.His condition was serious and therewas danger of sudden pneumoniasetting in. Mr. Hirons has beenresting comfortably at his home sincelast Friday afternoon and is gettingalong fine. He does need rest andquiet for some time. The sympathy ofeach of the Glee Club members iswith Mr. Hirons as he is convalesc-ing.

As we face the questions: "Whenwill we have Glee Club Practiceagain?" and "are we putting on Gil-bert and Sullivan's Operetta 'Pa-tience'?" I think we would all liketo say:

"Listen patient!I'm impatient!I'll sure be out of patienceUntil I know for trueThat your docIs out of patients—At least one patient—

You!"We wish Mr. Hirons a speedy and

complete recovery.

Semi-Annual MeetOf AthenaeumIntroduces Changes

The last Athenaeum meeting ofthe first semester was held onThursday, January 29. It was abusiness meeting with the Presi-dent, Jean Shantz, in charge.

The minutes of the previousmeeting and the treasurer's reportwere read by the secretary-treas-urer, Mcl King.

Then the report of the committeeappointed to investigate the Athen-aeum Society and to suggest im-provements for the same was readand discussed.

The report stated the types ofmeeting the Athenaeum shouldhave. It is, first of all, to promotesocial activity in the school. Thereshould also be open discussions,and about one artistic program asemester. In addition to these typesof program, outside speakers areto be invited to some of the meet-ings.

Those present voted the follow-ing amendments to the constitu-tion:

(1) To include as members ofthe Athenaeum part-time studentsand teachers taking courses at Wa-terloo.

(2) To make possible the nom-ination and seconding of officersfrom the floor, and to permit theelection of a suitable Presidentfrom any college year.

It was also decided to acceptthe investigation committee's ad-vice and procure a copy of Roberts'"Rules of Order," so as to carryon Athenaeum meetings accordingto correct parliamenetary pro-cedure.

Following this, the Presidentthanked the Society and her Exe-cutive for helping and supportingher. We all say thanks to you, Jean,and to your hard-working commit-tee for putting new life into theAthenaeum.

The election of the second-sem-ester officers concluded the meet-ing. The new officers are:Faculty Adviser . ... Miss McLarenHonorary President ••■• Alvin BaetzPresident Gladys QuehlVice-President Anne KuntzSecretary-Treasurer .... Roy Grosz

ObituaryWord has been received of the

death of Miss Carla Boehmer, for-merly a student at Waterloo Col-lege. Her death was the result of aheart condition.

Miss Boehmer attended WaterlooCollege in 1939. The following yearshe studied designing in New York.For the past two years she has beenworking in Toronto.

It was with the deepest sorrowthat we heard of Miss Boehmer'sdeath, and we wish to extend oursympathy to her family.

Co-Eds Are Successful inBasketball and Badminton

In the last home competition ofthe season, the college co-eds wondecisive victories both in basketballand badminton. Our basketball teamdefeated the Western team 12-15and our badminton players won twoout of three matches.

In the basketball game, the scoreat half-time was three-all. In thesecond half of the game our playershad most of the play and most ofthe shooting. Jean Kramp scoredeight points, Anne Kuntz two, andViolet Dorsch two. Violet Dorsch,always one of our most effectiveguards, proved her ability as a for-ward by netting a basket within herfirst few minutes of play.

Our defensive players were in topform. June Brock as centre guardwas formidable, a valuable additionto any team. If no player was near athand for a neat, short pass, June,with the ease of a javelin-thrower,heaved the ball the length of thefloor to a waiting forward.

Ruthmarie Schmieder, Lottie Kel-lerman, Delphine Hartman, and ElvaWildfong formed the rest of theguard line. Their playing was skil-ful and sure. The last three of theseplayers are new to our team thisyear and are to be congratulated onthe ability they have shown. Ourtwo old hands, Jean Kramp andAnne Kuntz, played true to formwith Anne making and receivinga great number of passes and Jeanbuilding up a high score.

The same evening, Western Sen-iors played the K.C.I, team and de-feated them 14-7. The Western Sen-iors played a fast game and theirshooting skill was far superior tothat of the Collegiate team. Greta.Wong was the outstanding forwardon the Western team, winning a tot-al of eleven points.

In our game with the Collegiateplayed on February the 10th, ourteam led until the last few minuteswhen a last basket for the Collegiategave them the game with a score of14-13.

Both of these games have beencharacterized by clean, open playand a minimum of fouling. As a re-sult, the playing has been better andthe games have been enjoyed more.

In the badminton competition,Mary Fischer of Western defeatedJean Kramp 21-10. Mary Fischer,formerly of Waterloo, was out-standing in her placement shotsand general playing ability.

Ruthmarie Schmieder in the sec-ond singles defeated Mary Dewer21-12. The Waterloo doubles team,Ruthmarie Schmieder and AnneKuntz, defeated the Western team,Peggy Henneger and Meighan Mc-Naughton, 21-11.

Our final badminton and basket-ball competition will take place onMarch sth against Brescia in Lon-don. After the games, our seasonis brought to a close with a banquetat which all participants are presentand the final results are given.Continued on Page 8

Founded 1926

THE COLLEGE CORDEditor-in-Chief Alice HedderickJunior Editor Margaret RoheLiteraria Jean C. KrampThe Sign Post Delphine HartmanC.O.T.C. Notes David DooleySocial Events Gladys Quehl

Alumni Notes Lottie KellermanFaculty Adviser Professor R. C. MclvorSports Ruth CornerExchange Jean BierBusiness Manager Henry SchmiederCirculation Manager Harro Pfeiffer

EDITORIALHow fast last term went! We had scarcely settled down after

registration when it was Christmas time with its round of activi-ties and its festivity. Christmas over—we need not remind youof what came next. Some of us are still feeling "the weight ofchance-desires" — why did we not study more History? And ifwe had only done a little work throughout the term—. Ah, thatwas a time!

"Each day, too, slew its thousands, six or seven,Till at the crowning carnage, Waterloo,They threw their pens down in divine disgust—The page was so besmeared with blood and dust."

But now we return bravely with the stains of battle stillupon us, and feeling anything but divine, although plenty dis-gusted. We are well launched into a new term now, with all kindsof good resolutions. Firm promises have been made to "settledown this semester" to which our professors reply, with a dis-believing uplift of the eyebrow, "Are you really?" They are prob-ably right.

* * *The co-eds are very grateful to Mrs. Gillespie and the mem-

bers of the Women's Auxiliary for the new furniture and prom-ises of more improvements for the girls' Common Room. Theprospect of a cosy, well-furnished room is a delightful one.Those who have criticized the Girls' Room in the past may soonfind that they have nothing to criticize any longer.

The war has spread into every corner of the world and de-mands the help of all and the effort of everyone to bring it to aquick and happy conclusion. For two years now the boys of Water-loo College have been taking the Canadian Officers' Training.This winter the co-eds of Western University were enrolled forcompulsory training in first aid, laboratory work, or militarytraining. When the question of such service was put before theco-eds of Waterloo, they were unanimous in wishing to do some-thing. Our facilities are small, and we decided that a first aidcourse would be the most practical and the easiest to obtain forus. There is nothing definite yet, but the matter is being arrangedby a committee of the co-eds.

The next issue of the Cord will be brought out by a new edit-or, who has not been chosen as yet.

I want to discard the "Editorial we" now to thank you all,and especially the regular staff members, for the support and co-operation you have given me as editor. I know you will aid thenew editor just as loyally. I am very sorry to have to give up myjob, especially now in the middle of the term. But I do think theCord needs new blood and a change of atmosphere. I hope stillto do some writing for the Cord, and I shall never lose interest init, but I promise solemnly not to stick my nose into the runningof it any more! Here's wishing luck to the next editor—whoeverhe or she may be.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Edtorial page 2Literaria page 3Sign Post page 4Vox Pop •. page 5Sport page 6Waterloonacy page 7

2 THE COLLEGE CORD

University of Western OntarioLondon, Canada

In these days of crises men of education and ability. are everywhere required. This is true in the army, in thenavy, in the air force and in civil life. It is certain that thedemand for men of special training, particularly scientifictraining, will be increased many times when the presentconflict ceases.

There are far too few young men and young womenqualifying themselves for future responsibilities by takinga university course.—Only three per cent available—yetnearly everyone is agreed that such a course is essentialin preparing the future citizen for his life's work.

The college graduate on the average earns far morethan his less privileged competitors. His services are morevaluable to his community and to the State. He makes moresocial contacts and forms wider friendships. A formal uni-versity course helps to enlarge and enrich the life of thosewho participate in it. The benefits are unmistakable andare far-reaching.

Canada should have more than twice as many youngmen and young women in the colleges and universities ofthe country as are now enrolled. What about you?

Ask for announcements, and information concerningscholarships, matriculation, courses of study, etc.

Write to THE REGISTRAR.

LITERARIAThe Victorian Age in(Everything But)Literature

In this book, the illustrious Mr. ;Chesterton presents for our edifica- ]tion his profound critical opinionsof the Victorian Age. It is to be re-gretted that he chose to deal withthe politics and morals and scienceof this period, and neglected itsartistic productions, some of whichwere very noteworthy. The authorspeaks of the artists; but, instead oftreating them as artists, he treatsthem as Members of Parliament, orpolitical writers for the LondonTimes. However, he explains hisreasons for such a treatment of hissubject in the introduction. A fewwords selected from this introduc-tion should help to clarify his posi-tion:

"It only remains for me ... todeal with the great Victorians . . .It is a task for which I feel myselfwholly incompetent."

Mr. Chesterton, we think so too.The author gives specific reasons

for neglecting art, the phase of lifein which we are most interested. Hesays:

"It is quite needless here to gointo the old Art for art's sake' busi-ness, or explain at length why indi-vidual artists cannot be reviewedwithout reference to their traditionsand creeds."

On the contrary, Mr. Chesterton,it is necessary for you to providesupport for your opinions, if youwish us to consider them. If youcannot adequately defend your posi-tion, we may infer that the positionis indefensible and should be aban-doned. It is rather a poor bluff tosay, "Hm, hm, boys, well you knowhow it is. I don't think it's necessaryfor us to go over all that stuff here.Let's let it slide, and get on withour work." G.K., we have a feelingthat you are deliberately hurryingover hte difficulties because theymight prove embarrassing if theywere discussed fully.

Here is another sentence from theintroduction which is of interest:

"The moment we differentiate theminds, we must differentiate by doc-trines and moral sentiments."

Come, come, Mr. Chesterton! Youdon't expect us to swallow that. Doyou absolutely rule out artistic sen-timents? You say that we differen-tiate between A and B by sayingthat one is a Baptist and the otheran Anglican. But we may not dif-ferentiate between them by sayingthat A likes good music and B likesthe noise called swing. I think that

it is very foolish of you to attemptto ignore man's sense of beauty. Wecan't let you get away with state- ■ments like that! "Enough of the introduction. Mr.Chesterton admits that he is incom- .petent, and proceeds to prove it. Hepontificates about the Victorian Ageas an American president mightpontificate about Washington and 'Lincoln. The first chapter of the .book is entitled, "The VictorianCompromise." In it, the author :speaks of liberalism, revolutionary ;thought, the 'Eccentrics,' the Whig ;party, Utilitarianism, the Oxfordmovement, Anti-utilitarianism, So-cialism, and so forth. The secondchapter is entitled, "The Great Vic-torian Novelists." In it, Chestertondiscusses the Victorian Compromise,Victorian Bowdlerism, Victorianrationalism, Dickens and VictorianDemocracy, Disraeli and Victorianpolitics, paganism, pantheism, andother subjects. The third chapter is"The Great Victorian Poets, and in jit are treated puritanism, socialism,paganism, anarchism, pantheism andmany other topics, including onewhich is disastrously torn to pieces—art. Chapter four is called "TheBreakup of the Compromise," andin it Chesterton talks of everythinghe can think of except litterature.

Now, we have gone through thebook, and we can draw a few con-clusions about it. As a picture of themorals and politics of the Victorians,the book is quite complete. The discussions of utilitarianism, the effectof the French Revolution, andSocialism, are particularly enlight-ening. It is to be regretted thatChesterton, in spite of his introduc-tory admission of his incompetence,did not say more about literature.

Pardon me—I spoke too soon. Thatlast statement was a bit premature.I have just read Chesterton's opinionof Hardy. Hardy, it appears, wassome sort of low creature who "bot-anized in the swamp." Please, Mr.Chesterton! Hardy failed to takepart in the Victorian debate overpolitics and morals, and thereforeyou consider him beneath contempt.Because he interests himself in thelife of the people, because he doesnot rise to the level of the soap boxorator, he is unworthy to be dis-cussed by you in the same breathwith Meredith. From my point ofview, Hardy seems to be one of thefew sane persons among the groupof raving maniacs who are the liter-ary persons of the Victorian Age.The others, such as Carlyle, Ruskin,Morris and Macaulay, base theirclaims to immortality on learnedand dogmatic dissertations on sub-jects of which they know nothing.Political economy is the branch oflearning most singularly blessed bytheir literary contributions. Theirpoints of view were distorted, theirtheories are today as out of date asthe clothes they wore, yet we stillrevere the memories of thees greatmisguided prophets. And you con-demn Hardy for remaining alooffrom them! Mr. Chesterton, you

; were only speaking the truth wheni you said you were incompetent to; write about the literary artists of

the age of Victoria.Similar to G. X.'s treatment of

Hardy is his treatment of JaneAusten and Rudyard Kipling. Ofthe former, he says: "She belongsto a vanished world before the greatprogressive age of which I write."He dismisses her as unimportant,because she did not contribute to themountain of drivel which her con-temporaries wrote about morality.In like vein, Chesterton expresseshis contempt for Kipling: "It is be-cause he is the end of such litera-ture. He has many other powerfulelements, but of the Victorian vir-tues, nothing." Now, I feel myselfthat Kipling has been vastly over-rated, and will soon be forgotten.But I think it is the height of in-sanity to criticize a man becausehe is free from the prejudices andfetishes and moralizing of the Vic-torian Age.

Of Chesterton's treatment of theaesthetics, there is much that Icould say. But I will sum it up ina phrase: He completely misunder-stands aestheticism. To his way ofthinking, a work of art is not awork of art unless it has spread overits whole surface, "Go forth and dolikewise." Very fortunately for us,this narrow attitude is today regard-ed in the same way as the Vic-torians must have regarded the dra-matic unities—an old-fashioned con-vention which, thank God, we havegot rid of.

But, I will admit that, in spite ofits obvious errors, Chesterton's bookhas given me some good ideas. AfterI had read the volume I had a sud-den inspiration: why not write avolume on Post Victorian' Litera-ture? I have the first draft of thework made out. I will deal with ev-erything that has happened sinceVictoria's death, except, of course,the literature. One of my chapterswill give a detailed account of theVersailles Treaty. Another will dealwith Einstein's theory of relativityas conceived of by me and other de-luded and ignorant moderns. Mygrand finale will consist of a lengthytreatment of the Atlantic 8-pointpeace plan drafted by Rooseveltand Churchill. Of course, I will dis-cuss the writers of the present age-though not from an artistic stand-point. I will give full accounts ofthe works of John Gunther, WalterLippman, Dorothy Thompson, andZane Grey. And I will reserve agood deal of space for the greatestwriter of modern times—a man whostands head-and-shoulders aboveCarlyle, by whose side Macaulayfades into insignificance, the latchetof whose shoe Ruskin is not worthyto touch. By now, you will surelyhave guessed who it is—Ralph Allen,of the Globe and Mail sports staff.

THE DEVIL-BATYes, I went to see the "Devil-

Bat." I went to get thrilled. For thefirst time in my life I had thecourage to watch a horror picture,complete with secret trap-doors,gloomy halls and midnight mur-ders. But I did not get thrilled.My hair did not rise up on end,nor did my eyes bulge out, be-cause I went to the theatre in thewrong mood. I refused to be fright-ened by anything.

The screen-play did not comeup to expectation. I wanted skele-tons to drop out of closets, ghoststo flit about in weird forests. But

no skeletons, no ghosts! — therewas just a scientist pattering aboutin the laboratory. His intentionswere murderous, certainly. But tomake my blood run cold, give meblood-curdling cries and groans thatshatter the silence and the gloom.Oh, yes, the Devil-Bat screamedas it swooped down upon its vic-tim. A flock of crows could pro-duce a more direful ncte than theDevil-Bat gave forth.

The general atmosphere waswrong. A village, broad daylight,a cosmetics firm—these did not pro-vide the proper setting and tone.When there was a night scene, itwas spoiled by flash-lights andcar-lights. Besides the weather wasalways fine. There were no violentdownpourings of rain, no lightningflashing across the livid sky. nothunder crashing about gloomytowers, no wind moaning arounddeserted monasteries. "WutheringHeights" provided a good exampleof the creation of the proper at-mosphere. The story was one ofturbulence, violence and passion.To produce the required atmospherea scene was presented of windshowling over the moors, gatescreaking and dogs barking in oldhalls.

The technique of the Devil-Batwas weak. I do not want to beshown the machinations and tech-nique of the murderer before thecrime is committed. I like murdersto happen in unexpected places andin the ghostliest settings. What athrill cne receives, when corpsesfall out of refrigerators, as thehero is reaching for his midnightluncheon! And I do dislike whenlovers clutter up a horror story—especially when their love turnsout to be such a washed-out affair.I have a feeling of repugnancewhen I am asked to laugh at acomic scene after one of the char-acters has been murdered. I feelas if I were at a funeral and some-one told me an ill-timed joke.Someone might argue that comicscenes were inserted for the pur-pose of relieving the situation-bother the situation—there wasnone to relieve! When a mysteryis unravelled before Act I Scene Iis over, nothing can terrify thespectator very remarkably. Therewas something almost ludicrous inthe way the newspaper reporterunravelled what was no longermysterious to the audience. Finally,the motives of the scientist in exe-cuting such murderous designswere not carefully worked out, andwere stated too bluntly. There wasnothing subtle in the murderer'scharacterization.

Without a doubt I have a "boneto pick" with the producer of the"Devil-Bat"—who promised hair-raising scenes and horrors un-speakable and presented us withsuch a tame story. Why, after read-ing Pliny's description of the"Haunted House" with the ghost,and creaking floors, and clankingchains, I should not dare to turnoff the lights. I saw the Devil-Bat,went home, turned off the lights,and tried to imagine the bat flyingfor my throat. My imaginationcould not produce even a third-rate thrill! I was convinced, then,that the screen play had verylittle suggestive power. I supposeI shall have to turn to the "Mys-teries of Udolpho" for a supplyof sliding doors, thrills and mon-astery-lurking ghosts.

THE COLLEGE CORD 3

The Sign PostDelphine Partman

In a November issue the sugges-tion was made in this column thatgraduates write letters to the Cord,telling where they are and whatadventure they have experiencedsince leaving Waterloo. These let-ters, we explained, would be wel-comed by the present students, whofeel a friendly interest in all thosewho have studied at the college informer years. Perhaps at leastpartly as a result of this suggestionthree letters have found their wayinto the hands of the alumni editor.The latter, inspired with compas-sion at hearing our sighs and groansover the prospect of writing anotherSign Post, has generously consentedto give up one of them. Bless her!

This letter is certainly very inter-esting. It was written by JackHarper who is with the CanadianArmy in Jamaica. Mr. Harper grad-uated in 1939. From old Cords welearn that he was known to his fel-lows as "Harp," that he was usuallyaround when anything was goingon, and that he was generally con-sidered a very good chap. On con-sulting the college calendar we learnfurther that several of the seminar-ians who are still with us graduatedfrom the college in the same year—Al Baetz, Clifton Monk, Fred Neu-doerffer and Henry Nuhn, to beexact. The letter is dated December17. We print it in part.

"At present I'm stationed in thehills down here as camp command-ant of the station and in charge ofthe weapon training for the detach-ment. It's quite a spot. You go upa very steep winding road which,according to some of the Imperialblokes, far exceeds the road to thehills in India as far as danger andcurves are concerned. The paradeground is high above the sea andthe officers' mess is 400 feet abovethat. I assure you that when youreach the top a drink is worth itsweight in gold. It's extremely warmhere during the day but at night itis cool and sleeping is a real treat.We get a fair amount of rain andthe clouds pour over the mountains

about once a day and form a screenover the valleys below. It's trulymagnificent and if you ever wantto write a book this is the place tocome.

The camp itself is an ImperialArmy station and the constructionwork is tremendous. Our swimmingpool is cement and was built in the1860's and there's not a crack in itanywhere. It is just as romantic asthe pictures you get of Imperial sta-tions in India and the East. Our din-ing room table is mahogany andabout eight feet by four—reallybeautiful. We burn redwood andmahogany in the fireplace everynight, although it hurts to do so.This is truly representative of theold army standards whereby a manhad to have a private income to bea soldier.

As you travel around it is al-ways interesting to watch thenatives and observe their habits.For the most part they are slovenlyand dirty, but form quite a pictureas they walk up and down the roadscarrying their baskets of fruit, etc.,on their heads. They live in shacksalong the roadside and you can'tconceive of even putting your footinside let along live in such afilthy place. ... Of course their rumis good and it's quite a treat to beable to stop and pick a banana ora lime anytime you feel inclined."

The college has seen some greatreforms lately. Item one is thegymnasium which acquired a gleam-ing new coat of cream and ivoryover the Christmas holidays. Theimprovement is almost miraculous,proving what can be done with apaint can and a brush. The radsare gleaming with aluminum paintand all the old cracks have vanished.Although at first we were quite self-conscious about playing basketballin such a magnificent place we aregradually getting accustomed to thenew splendour.

Item two is the girls' commonroom which is gradually beingtransformed into a thing of beautyand a joy forever. We have notone, not one, I say, but two newsofas. Note also that both of themare the last word in sheer, deliciouscomfort. Most of us have alreadyforgotten the old ones—that de-lightful little wicker affair whichalways collapsed at one end, andthe squat one with no back, whichin the course of time had taken ona mud-like hue. Graduates andfriends also will please note thatthe little wicker table has been re-moved—the one with the lame leg.

There are rumors that the ladies'auxiliary is planning even moredelightful surprises ■—■ cushions,drapes, a chair or two, and so on.The girls are certainly well satis-fied with life these days.

To show their appreciation theyhave cleared the accumulation ofages out of the cupboard, havestraightened up the whole roomand are making a heroic effort to

keep the room (reasonably) tidy.A plan has been worked out where-by two girls will be responsible eachweek for keeping order and pre-venting the return of the old fam-iliar wilderness. This week thepolice officers are Jean Kramp andRuth Corner. You should see thelook they give the coat-drapers, hat-tossers, book-slingers and otherundesirable wretches. "There arehooks outside in the hall," they re-mind one coldly. "Won't you pleasekeep your shelf neat?" "Who leftthese books here?" "What are yougoing to do with the core when youfinish that apple?" We didn't real-ize that there was such an ironstreak in these two girls. They getresults though.

Even the noon-lunchers have be-gun to feel that change is in the air.Nora now brings a table cloth forthe central table and she and her as-sociates sit sedately around it atlunch time. There is something al-most fantastic about all this.

It might be well to mention hereone of the changes recently madein the Athenaeum Constitution. Themembership is now extended topart-time students who might beinterested in Athenaeum Activities.This will include many teachers andothers who come up for a few lec-tures each week. Such students arecordially invited to attend meet-ings whenever they can do so.Athenaeum notices are posted onthe main bulletin board a few daysin advance.

The jolly Scotsman Bobby Burnsis the author of the following lines,which might well be engraved uponthe bottom of this column's coat ofarms, (a purple keyhole couchanton a field of sickly green.)"Hear, Land o' cakes and brither

ScotsFrae Maidenkirk to Johnny Groats,If there's a hole in a' your coats

I rede ye tent it;A chiel's among ye takin' notes,

An' faith, he'll prent it."And speaking of holes, thereby

hangs a tale. The story concernsMr. Winkler, a highly respectedresident of the upper floor. We aretold that one panel in his doorhas an amazing quality. If it isknocked upon it causes half of thesaid door to fall inward with greatnoise, to the boundless disgust ofthe said Mr. W. The latter rises inwrath to repair the damage withthumb-tacks, only to be disturbeda few minutes later by his portalagain crashing to the ground. In theface of this disaster Mr. W. showscommendable courage and continuesto look quite cheerful. Who sayscollege boys lack stamina!

* * *Cold weather makes ice, and ice

brings out the hockey in the mostinnocent looking boys. Busy as theyare, a few of them steal an hour

Continued on Page 5

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LIGHT LUNCHESAFTER THEATRE SUPPERS

now and then to work out on thecentral rink. As Jean Shantz suc-cinctly put it,—"Nobody can do itlike our boys,—they're so goofy!"

We don't want to gossip, but—!"Sst!" said a friend. "Material foryour column coming up! Just take awalk into the library!" Skeptical butcurious, we did just that. He wasright; There they were, tete-a-tete,ostensibly doing German together,—she reading softly and he watching,but not the book. The archives,when consulted, revealed that thesesame persons were seen skating to-gether at Central School rink theother night for almost two hourswithout interruption. Can suchthings be ignored? I leave it to you.Names? But you know we wouldnever betray such good friends asHildegarde and Jack Zimmerman!

Perhaps too a lady from NewHamburg would bear watching, andwe don't mean Use this time, al-though, by the way,—but nevermind that now. Little Jean Bier isthe one. If someone could provideinformation about last Saturdaynight, it would be appreciated.

And if we were not very short ofspace we might tell some interest-ing stories about Mcl and a blondeand a brunette, too, not to mentionseveral intervening shades. Watchthe next issue.

Snodgrass—"Do you like babies?"Smitty—"Yeah. Especially those

born sixteen years ago."

Bits of ExchangeAnxious mother—"What does the

average college man do with hisweekend?"

Dean of Men—"Well, sometimes Ithink he merely hangs his hat onit!"

Salesman—l represent the ABCWool Company, lady. Would you beinterested in some colourful yarns?

Housewife — Yeah. Tell me acouple.

Freshibus takebus examinatorumCopibus from neighborumTeacher .seeibus little cheatorumCausibus Freshibus to flunkorum.Russian women are standing be-

side their husbands in the frontlines. A man can't even have a warin peace.

Admire the ones who try and try,Ignore the ones who don't,Lament for those who don't know

how,Abhor the ones who won't

Please!No!Pretty please?Positively no! I said no!Aw, please maw, all the other boys

are going barefoot.

VOX POPPlease, Dear Readers:

We feel neglected, ignored, ostra-cized. This is the second time thisyear that we have had to write toyou. Why don't you write to us, asyou ought to do in the natural orderof things? We have not received asingle letter for so long that wev/ould hardly know how to answerone if we did get one. But we shallbe optimistic again and start practis-ing in anticipation of the flood ofletters which probably will not comein next issue.

Hasn't anyone in this whole collegeanything to say that is worth sayingin print? Is Waterloo College so stag-nant, so lacking in ideas that we, VoxPop, the Voice of the People, have tobeg someone to please say some-thing? It does not matter if we donot know the answer to your ques-tion. Someone will, if he only has theenergy to write it down and put it inthe editor's mailbox. And then, youdo not have to ask a question. VoxPop is a column in which the stu-dents should air their views, discusstheir opinions, and make suggestions.Wake up! Start arguing, ye stiff-necked generation!

Disgustedly yours,Editor of Vox Pop.

AUNT TABITHA

Written by a girl early in the20th Century.

Whatever I do and whatever I say,Aunt Tabitha tells me that isn't the

way;When she was a girl (forty sum-

mers ago)Aunt Tabitha tells me they never

did so.

Dear Aunt! If I only would take heradvice!

But I like my own way, and I findit .so nice;

And besides, I forget half the thingsI am told;

But they all will come back to me—when I am old.

If a youth passes by, it may happen,no doubt,

He may chance to look in as Ichance to look out;

She would never endure an im-pertinent stare —It is horrid, she says, and I mustn'tsit there.

A walk in the moonlight has pleas-ures, I own,

But it isn't quite safe to be walkingalone;

So I take a lad's arm — just forsafety, you know —

But Aunt Tabitha tells me theydidn't do so.

How wicked we are, and how goodthey were then!

They kept at arm's length those de-testable men;

What an era of virtue she lived in!— But stay —Were the men all such rogues inAunt Tabitha's day?

If the men were so wicked, I'll askmy papa

How he dared to propose to mydarling mamma;

Was he like the rest of them? Good-ness! Who knows?

And what shall I say if a wretchshould propose?

I am thinking if Aunt knew so littleof sin,

What a wonder Aunt Tabitha's auntmust have been!

And her grand-aunt — it scares me— how shockingly sad

That we girls of today are so fright-fully bad!

A martyr will save us, and nothingelse can;

Let me perish — to rescue somewretched young man!

Though when to the altar a victirjI go,

Aunt Tabitha'll tell me she neverdid so!

5

The Sign Postcontinued from page 4

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Waterloo Dial 2-3536Toronto Phone: Lakeside 2225London Phone: Met 5085Stratford Phone 2325

SPORTHolidays and examinations have

one fault in common. They blindour minds to facts. Before thisbreak in our well-ordered lives,we knew as well as anyone thathealth was the most importantthing in our lives, that withoutphysical vitality we could not getthe most out of life. So what didwe do?

We struggled from Septemberto December to reach the highestpeak of physical perfection. Thosewere the days of sparkling laughter,gay encounters, and light foot-steps. Now take one glance any-where—girls collapsed on chester-fields, in a chair, on the floor, allover—so long as they can sit. Andteas becoming more popular everyday! And theatres so crowded thatthousands have to be turned awaynightly. Love of food and luxury,and sheer indolence have accomp-anied holidays and examinations.The phrase "Life Begins at Forty"will have no meaning for us, forhow can our bodies stand suchabuse?

A dim, dim hope arises that soonwe shall snap out of this lethargy.Soon we shall feel strength creepback into cur limbs, soon we shallbe in the midst of our final bas-ketball and badminton competi-tion. We shall realize that thereis still an Interwestern League.Then getting down to reality, weshall find our two last games are tobe played on February 16 and Feb-ruary 26. We shall feel again thepleasure that comes from a gamewell-played. We shall begin to ex-perience the 'exultation which fol-lows breathless activity, and thesatisfaction that comes from ac-quired skills. Finally, we shallleave college with the convictionthat education is not solely devel-opment of the mind but the high-est possible development of bothmind and body.

* * *Our last basketball game resultedin an all-out victory for Brescia. Atall forward on the Brescia teamstole all the honors. Our team, tosay the least, was not in top form.

In badminton the first singleswas taken easily by Jean Kramp.Lucy Wintermeyer defeated RuthSchmieder in the second singles.In the doubles, the Waterloo team,Anne Kuntz and Jean Kramp de-feated the Brescia team by quitea margin.

* * *The boys' participation in sports

is most breathtaking. The occas-ional volleyball games show spiritwhich the girls might well copy.We shan't comment on form, tech-nique, finesse, etc.

What has happened to our lastyear's star hockey team? The fem-inine members of the college arepining away for an opportunityto cheer the gallants as in formeryears. They are so enthusiastic theywill stand out-of-doors if need be,so long as they can see their her-ces on ice. Let's have at least onegame!

* * •It is common knowledge that

mixed folk-dancing classes havebecome a popular part of the sportsprogramme in many colleges.Folk-dancing is no longer consid-ered a "sissy" activity. On the con-

trary, it has been proven to requiremore skill, co-ordination, and en-ergy than many competitive sports.It might prove a highly interestingexperiment here.

The girls will probably be clos-ing the badminton season with atournament. Would the boys be in-terested in any such form of com-petition? A ladies' singles, a men'ssingles, and a mixed doubles tourna-ment might add zest to life!

EXCHANGEFancy our surprise when, opening

a paper we forgot to turn over tothe Exchange Editor, we discovereda blue-pencilled article with thesuperscription "How about puttingus on the Exchange list." The ar-ticle was signed by Harri.s Veitch,one of our alumni. The paper is"Skyline," put out by the R.C.A.F.at Brantford.

THE G STRINGL.A.C. George Basarich, Course

43, is particularly interested in thegoings-on in the Philippines. From1935-37 he was with the army aircorp at Guam, Hawaii and the Phil-ippines, so every time a bomb isdropped in those areas it is strikingpretty close to home, so far as he isconcerned. Nichols Field, on ManillaBay, which has been bombed heavyand often, know him as an aero-mechanic, telephone operator, andjunior under graduate of the Uni-versity of Manilla.

Goorge is of Serbian decent andthus has a traditional hatred of theGermans. He doesn't like the Japseither, but thinks he'd just as soonstay here and fight with the R.C.A.F.as leave to fight with his own forces."I came here of my volition," he said."The Canadian Government is givingme a high-class flying education andmy gratitude is deep." That's thefeeling of most of the American boys.

"As far as the Japs are concerned,"he said, "I honestly believe the U.S.-A. to have all the necessary strikingforce to transform them into third-grade fertilizer in short order." Bas-arich also served two years in theNational Guard.

Basarich told of one "battleship"in the Philippine area the Japswouldn't sink. It is a cement battle-ship, a projection of the Island ofCorregidor, guarding the entranceto Manilla Bay. "It is equipped simi-larly to a ship but is built stronglyon a rock base. It forms a coastalartillery base on the two-mile pro-jection into the harbor."

Basarich, 28, said they practice-bombed the "battleship" one nightfrom 11,000 feet with old Keystonebombers, but were driven off bycoast artillery guns. "The battleship'sreserves," he said, "are consideredequal to a seven-year seige."

His opinion was that the Philip-pines chinees were "slim" if a greatpower concentrated its militarystrength on them in an attack. "Theirmany islands are protected mainlyby natives forced to employ guer-rilla tactics for defence."

Another colourful figure of thissame course is Duke Gould, of NorthCarolina, tobacco-chewer dc luxe. Heappears to have a continual set ofmobile mumps, but it is really noth-ing but an umpteen-pound wad of'baccy. It's with him day and night,in the air or on the ground, and heuses enough to keep several planta-tions functioning.

Gould claims he started chewing

tobacco about 18 years ago. It wasbecause he wanted to be a good foot-ball player. Apparently in the goodold U.S.A. you just have to chewtobacco to be a good player. Byquantity, Duke should have been all-American years ago, and still. Backhome, he says, he used from two tosix packages of grasshopper-juicedeveloper per day. The rigorous lifeof the air force is said to have speed-ed up his consumption here andthere.

The Ghost!In the last issue of the Cord there

was an account of a ghost. I havea ghost too. Mine is the traditionalkind of ghost with clanking chains—as a matter of fact he rather re-minds me of the apparition of—Jac-ob Marley. But he comes with nogrim warning.

The first time he came was aboutone a.m. when I was working on anEnglish essay. I game my trustytypewriter a heave and muttered,"Oof! I'm tired." No sooner had Isaid that than I heard a hollowgroan at my left ear. I turned andsaw my ghost standing there. With asigh he flopped on the bed. "Mind ifI sit down and take a load off myfeet?" he asked.

"N-not at all!" I stuttered politely.He was really a grim sight. He

looked as dead as a soda-jerker atthe end of a busy day. He shiftedhis chains to a more comfortableposition and sighed, "Gee, it's goodto sit! I've been waiting hours out-side for you to turn out the light,but finally I figured you weren't go-ing to bed at all, so I came in any-how."

"He doesn't use very good Eng-lish," I thought as I explained thatthis fool essay had to be in tomor-row or else—.

He looked at me for a minute,then said, " 'Scuse me a minute. Gotsomething to show you!" He vanish-ed through the window withouteven bothering to raise the blind.

A few minutes later he was back,carrying a grinning skull in hisleft hand. "Look, sister," he said,"this is the skull of an honour Eng-lish student. Look at all the dents—that's where he tried to hammer inthe knowledge. And look inside—hollow—it was just as empty whenhe was alive. It's no use, sister, youmight as well go to bed." With thathe gathered his chains about him anddeparted. "I'm going to college andbunk on one of the new couches inthe girls' room," he said.

Of all the crust! I thought. I hopeDr. Schorten catches you! As hefaded out the window I found my-self wondering what sort of an ap-pearance I put—having a man in myroom at one o'clock in the morning!But then, he was only a shade. Andso was I, practically, I thoughtwearily as I listened to his chainsclanking across the campus and de-cided to follow his example and goto bed.

Since then he comes often whenI work late and throws out sageadvice. "Look, sister, what's thegood? Here you are reading thatPoly-Poly-Pollywog or whatever itis—what good's it gonna do you?Whyn't you get some sleep?"

Sometimes I fear he is an agentsent of the devil to tempt me, butinstead of telling him to get him be-hind me, I usually tell him to gethim out so I.can follow his advice

1and go to Jbed.

6 THE COLLEGE CORD

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WATERLOONACYThe Waterloons have not been do-

ing so well for themselves of late.And your Waterloonacy editor (if sodignified a title may be applied) hasfailed to note the few bright re-marks that were made, and has prov-ed to have possession of an amazing-ly poor retentive power—otherwiseknown as memory.

Of course, what can you expect.with examinations? Speaking ofwhich, we have received a few ex-amination boners from a school notfar from here.

"King Alfred made good armies,good laws, Fords." (Lizzies, un-doubtedly).

"King Richard went on a Crusad-er."

These are juvenile follies whichmay not belong in a college paper,but what was it Professor Hirtlesaid about the Physical Science pap-ers? Fiddle-faddle?

Roll-marking in French 20—Professor Evans (checking up on

attendance) Let me see, now—Vin-cent was here last day and is heretoday. Beggs was here last and is nottoday. Wellein—

Dick Wellein—I was and I is!

Apparently the Greeks resortedto abusive alliteration too. The So-phist Gorgias made such remarks as(in Dr. Jefferis' phraseology)"Greece is glorious—Persia is punk."

Waterloonacy is weak.

Ann—There are still eight weekstill Easter.

L.L.L.—No there aren't, becauseThursday comes on Good Friday.(Ask her what she meant.)

Again we come to something thatisn't Waterloonacy. If unwelcomehere, it is quite willing to be tucked

in somewhere else — or left out, ifthe editor prefers. It is a quotationfrom a "Poet at the Breakfast-Table"■—"I have been to hear some music-pounding. It was a young woman,with as many white muslin flouncesaround her as the planet Saturn hasrings, that did it. She gave themusic stool a twirl or two, andfluffed down onto it like a whirlof soapsuds in a hand basin. Thenshe pushed up her cuffs as if shewere going to fight for the cham-pion's belt. Then she worked herwrists and her hands, to limber 'em,I suppose, and spread out herfingers to look as if they wouldpretty much cover the key board,from the growling end to the littlesqueaky one. Then those two handsof hers made a jump at the keysas if they were a couple of tigerscoming down upon a flock of blackand white sheep, and the pianogave a great howl, as if its tailhad been trod on. Dead stop—sostill you could hear your hair grow-ing. Then another jump, and an-other howl, as if the piano had twotails and you had trod on both of'em at once."

Never mind, maybe he just didn'tunderstand music.

Waterloonacy doesn't seem tohave lived up to its name thismonth. A great deal of this drivelhas really nothing to do with usWaterloons, but ye Ed. said, "Forheaven's sake, fill up space." Sohere we are, filling up space. If youdon't want to read it, you need not.. . . This is a fine time to tell you,now that you have read it already,you valiant few who have got thisfar.

(The blank space belowis for comments.)

CHEMISTS ANALYSIS of WOMANContributed by one R. V. EbySYMBOL: WOEATOMIC WEIGHT: 120 (approx.)Occurrence:1. Can be found wherever man

exists.2. Seldom occurs in free and nat-

ural state.PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. All colours and sizes.2. Always appears in a disguised

condition.3. Boils at nothing and freezes at

any point.4. Melts when properly heated.5. Very bitter if not used correctly.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:1. Extremely active in the pres-

ence of man.2. Great affinity for gold, silver

and precious stones.3. Able to absorb expensive food

at any time.4. Sometimes yields to pressure.5. Turns green when placed next

to a better specimen.6. Highly dangerous and explos-

ive in inexperienced hands.

AFTERNOON IN FEBRUARYThe day is ending,The night is descending;The marsh is frozen,

The river dead.

Through clouds like ashesThe red sun flashesOn village windows

That glimmer red.The snow recommences;The buried fencesMark no longer

The road o'er the plain;While through the meadows,Like fearful shadows,Slowly passes

A funeral trainThe bell is pealing,And every feelingWithin me responds

To the dismal knell;Shadows are trailing,My heart is bewailingAnd tolling within

Like a funeral bell.Longfellow

GRANDFATHERCuriously enough, one always

thinks of grandfathers as mellow,bearded fellows who sit about fire-places smoking ancient pipies andbrooding on their past. If they arelearned they might write essays onadversity, truth or honour; if theyare of sturdy peasant stock, theywill bore their children and theirchildren's children, yea even to thethird and fourth generation, withtales of their boyhood when wolveshowled about the homestead onwintry nights. Actually, however,most grandfathers are not like this.I know mine was not.

My grandfather may best be de-scribed as a frustrated horse-thief,that is to say he would have been ahorse-thief had he lived in westernAmerica. Being born, unfortunately,in a region where no buffalo roamedand no deer and antelope play, hehad to develop along a different linehis copious talents for this art.

Female relatives, old and young,will swear by the Book that grand-father was a tailor, but whether ornot he knew a thimble from a needleis an interesting question. However,giving him a profession, real or im-aginary, lends him an air of respect-ability. The old rogue's chief vicewas that (I blush to say it, for afterall he was my ancestor) he drank.Perhaps he did so to drown his sor-row at not having any horses tosteal. More likely there was a psy-chological reason. These drinkingbouts were usually some form of cel-ebration, which made them ratherjolly affairs. An optimist will findsomething to celebrate almost everyday. Grandfather was an optimist.

No doubt you have heard the storyof the village Scrooge who neverdid a good deed in his life. At hisfuneral the villagers tried to findsomething good to say about him.All that could be said was that hehad been the best speller in his class.Likewise, as grandfather is dead andI must speak good of the dead, Imust tell of his one virtue. He wasa good violinist. One must not, how-ever, think of him in terms of Menu-hin, Heifetz and Mendelssohn's Vio-lin Concert in E-minor. Grandfather

Continued on Page 8

THE COLLEGE CORD 7

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known as an athlete and basketballcoach during his school days. Atpresent he is paymaster at No. 10Basic Training Centre, Kitchener,Ont.

Major J. C. Herbert, '29, formerlya member of Ingersoll Collegiateteaching faculty was transferred inOctober from the A and T staff ofthe Oxford Rifles to a staff post atOttawa. The editor of this columnreceived an interesting letter fromMajor Herbert in which he says:

"Your College Cord followed mearound a bit but finally caught upto me at National Defence Head-quarters at Ottawa, where I havebeen for the past two months.

"The war has made it rather diffi-cult to keep up the old connectionsand friendships formed during Col-lege days, but I know that thethoughts of the many former stu-dents must oft turn back to pleasantmemories of former days.

"I wish the College and Cord everysuccess during these trying days."

Thank you, Major Herbert. TheCollege wishes you all the best too,in your many responsible duties.

was the type of musician who is indemand at village weddings, the typewho can play dance tunes for hours,and whose chief virtues are a strongsense of rhythm and the enduranceof a channel swimmer. Another goodpoint about grandfather was that hewas, after all, human and approach-able. He had so many faults of hisown that he didn't mind a few in hisoffspring.

But poor grandfather died an in-glorious death. He was not hungfrom the branch of a cotton-woodtree as befitted a self-respectinghorse-thief, frustrated or otherwise.He lived a long time, as the gooddie young, but finally old age caughtup with him.

Remonstrance WithSnails

We discovered this anonymouspoem in an anthology of modernBritish poetry. It tickled our fancy.We hope our readers will enjoy ittoo.

Ye little snails,With slippery tailsWho noiselessly travelAlong this gravel,

By a silvery path of slime unsightly.I learn that you visit my pea-rows

nightly.Felonious your visit, I guess!And I give you this warning,That, every morning,I'll strictly examine the pods;And if one I hit on,With slaver or split on,Your next meal will be with the

gods.I own you're a very ancient race,

And Greece and Babylon wereamid:

You have tenanted many a royaldome,

And dwelt in the oldest pyramid,The source of the Nile! — Oh, you

have been there,In the ark was your floodless bed;

On the moonless night of MarathonYou crawled o'er the mighty dead;

But still, though I reverence yourancestries,

I don't see why you should nibblemy peas.

The meadows are yours — thehedgerow and brook,

You may bathe in their dews atnoon;

By the aged sea you may sound yourshells,

On the mountains erect your hoon:The fruits and the flowers are your

rightful dowers,Then why — in the name of

wonder —Should my six pea-rows be the onlycause

To excite your midnight plunder?I have never disturbed your slender

shells;You have hung round my aged

walk;And each night have sat, till he

died in his fat,Beneath his own cabbage-stalk.

But now you must fly from the soilof your sires;

Then put on your liveliest crawl,And think of your poor little snails

at home,Now orphans or emigrants all.

Utensils domestic and civil andsocial

I give you an evening to pack up;Hut if the moon of this night does,

not rise on your flight,

Tomorrow I'll hang each manJack up.

You'll think of my peas and yourthievish tricks,

With tears of slime, when crossingthe Styx.

HEROISMRuby wine is drunk by knaves,Sugar spends to fatten slaves,Rose and vine-leaf deck buffoons;Thunder-clouds are Jove's festoons,Drooping oft in wreaths of dread,Lightning-knotted round his head;The hero is not fed on sweets,Daily his own heart he eats;Chambers of the great are jails,And head-winds right for royal sails.

Emerson.A donkey has two feet beforeAnd two behindBut you have to be behindBefore you findWhat the two behindBe for.

Great ExpectationsApparently the co-eds, who have

already been gladdened by the ad-dition of two new sofas to their room,may expect further improvementsin the future. A notice recently post-ed on their bulletin board outlinedthe following proposals, which havebeen unanimously and enthusiasti-cally approved.

The girls' room is going to bepainted some time during the sum-mer vacation. The break at Easter isso short that it does not allowenough time for the work to be com-pleted. Also the old familiar cup-board will be removed, giving morespace and greatly improving thegeneral appearance of the room. Thissounds almost too good to be true,but you haven't heard anything yet.

In order utterly to banish thecoats, hats, galoshes and gym uni-forms which usually clutter the girls'private sanctum, the retreat of the

lady professors across the hall will beconverted into a cloak-room anddressing room. Moreover, a cornerwill be reserved for the Cord, whichhas long been clamouring for "Leb-ensraum."

The professors will probably betransferred to room 207, now theClassics room, whence Dr. Jefferiswill depart for a destination as yetunknown. It is to be hoped that hiscustomary stoicism will enable himto accept the blow calmly when (andif) it falls. But bear with me a while,there is yet more.

In the lower depths, somewherenear the gymnasium, are the ancientcrumbling ruins of what once weretwo showers. Abandoned to the ac-tivities of scuttling spiders, theyare now of little use to anyone,unless he be an archaelogoist. Butnow there is hope. New showers aregoing to arise, perhaps not tomor-row, yet soon. There may be stillgreater changes too—a radio, evena rug, who can say where all thiswill end? All we have to do is bepatient and watch things happen.

UNPATRIOTIC SONGWe haven't got aSergeant-MajorAny more.

No moreShow a leg thereIt's half past fiveAnd a cold wet morning.

No moreOn Parade!Put it onTake it offShine those boots

and those buttonsand that rifle

No talking in the ranks.No more

Lift those kneesPull on those buttsSwing those arms.He'll probably be just as

CRUELNow he's an officer.

(Probably originally written inLatin by Dr. J—.)

With Our AlumniContinued From Page 1

8

GRANDFATHERcontinued from page 7

THE COLLEGE CORD

At Graduation TimeAn exchange of photo-

jjk graphs with classmates ere- IJH^ates bonds of friendship you &," jitwill treasure through the X-^

THE BELAIR STUDIODunker Building Kitchener, Ont.

Good Advice To YouthFrom Men of the Hour"If I had my way, I would "Life Assurance should bewrite the word 'insure' over considered not as an expense,the door of every cottage and but as savings. It should beon the blotting book of every the first factor in any pro-public man, because I am gramme of investment. Itconvinced that for sacrifices should be the last to be letwhich are inconceivably go. In hard times it is espe-small, families can be secured cially important, and weagainst catastrophes which should make every effort tootherwise would smash them keep our old Life Assuranceup forever." .... in force."

WINSTON CHURCHILL, FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELTPrime Minister of President of the United

Great Britain. States of America.

THE MUTUAL LIFEAssurance Company

OF CANADAHead office, Est. 1869 Waterloo, Ontario.

KITCHENER BRANCH OFFICE — 119 KING ST. W.