THE CHARGERWabaunsee High School

Issue 24 April 1, 2016

Britany Buchanan, Nick Carrollseniors

On Thursday March 24, Sha-nee, Renee and Shawn Gideon came and spoke to WHS stu-dents about their son Garen who tragically died in a rollover accident.

Sunday November 25, 2007, the Gideon family had been cel-ebrating Thanksgiving.

Little did they know the date would change their lives forever. Garen had been traveling home with his cousin and two friends after spending some time with Garen’s girlfriend, when they came to a T in the road after a sharp corner. There was no sign to warn them and the car rolled half over on top of Garen killing him instantly.

No one in the car was wear-ing their seatbelt, “If everyone was wearing their seatbelt this

would have been a simple wreck for everyone to walk away from,” Shanee said. The Gide-ons want students to remember that seat belts save lives.

Their message, Life’s About Choices, was to teach students that some choices are better than others. Shawn spoke about making the right choices when driving.

After the Gideon presenta-tion, students moved to the WHS commons. Marshal Mark Falk told them about the up-coming crash and trial, which were both based on real events that occurred in Canada in years prior. Falk worked closely with local EMTs, Kansas Troop-ers, and county officials to ar-range this event.

WHS counselor Marilyn Workman also worked with the S.A.F.E. and S.A.D.D. clubs at the high school to plan

the event. “We want to create awareness of destructive deci-sions like drinking and driv-ing,” Workman said.

The mock crash began with WHS students heading down to the intersection of 5th Street and Kansas Avenue. Juniors Jordyn Savage and Andrew Warner, and sophomore Sania Huda were victims of the crash. The driver, senior Brendan Mil-roy, wrecked the vehicle by hit-ting a dip in the road and caus-ing it to roll.

While rolling Huda was ejected from the car, paralyz-ing her from the waist down, and Savage was partially ejected and killed when the car rolled on top of her. The crash site was a haunting scene with Huda ly-ing motionless on the ground, screaming for help, and Savage lifelessly draped out one of the windows.

“Being the person that died, you’re laying there thinking ‘I could never see my friends again,’ and it just felt real,” Sav-age said.

The paramedics soon came and took away Huda and War-ner, while Savage was taken away by the coroner. Milroy was removed from the wreck and taken into custody on multiple chargers, the most severe being involuntary manslaughter.

Students then moved to Wabaunsee Courthouse court-room where Milroy’s “trial” was held. Senior Alli Terrapin and sophomore Alayna Supernaw acted as the lawyers for the trial. The final verdict, after much de-bate by the WHS student jury, was not guilty of involuntary manslaughter and guilty of ve-hicular homicide, reckless driv-ing and texting while driving.

FAKE CRASH, REAL EMOTIONS

WHS students, community reenacts car crash and trial

Left: Senior Brendan Milroy attends his trial at the Wabaunsee County Courthouse. Senior Alli Terrapin and sophomore Alayna Supernaw acted as the lawyers for the trial. Top Right: Senior Lauren Brovont aides sophomore Sania Huda after she’s ejected from the car. Bottom Left: Shanee Gideon reads an essay about her brother, Garen, who died in a car crash. The Gideon family has told their story to WHS students for the past three years.

Page 2 April 1, 2016The Charger |April Fools

Magdaline McCallsenior

Have you been feeling lonely lately? Are you not willing to put in the work to change that? Well then Alderman’s Zap Dating Ser-vice is the perfect thing for you!

Starting next month, math teacher and ZAP dating counselor Roger Alderman will open a new dating service right here in Wabaunsee’s ZAP room.

In recent studies, Alderman discovered that couples that procrastinate together, thrive together. “I’ve noticed students get-ting along better in the ZAP room than anywhere else. I predict that with this new ZAP Dating Service, 10 new relationships will begin after just a month.”

Sophomore Sania Huda and junior An-drew Warner actually met through ZAP. “Alderman’s experiment worked out really well for Andrew and I. I mean, I was very skeptical at first, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me,” Huda said. Huda and Warner have now been dat-ing for about a year and a half.

“I knew Sania and Andrew would be a good match from the moment they both walked into the ZAP room with piles of homework in hand and annoyed looks on their faces. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Wow, they would probably make a really cute couple.’ So I told them to try working on their science together, and anyone could see the chemistry between the two. Just one ZAP class later, I discovered from my secret sources that they actually started dating. That’s when I decided to start the ZAP Dat-ing Service,” Alderman said.

Alderman has also gotten approval from many of the teachers. “I honestly think that the ZAP Dating Service will be a really great thing for our school. It’s sure to open up doors to new relationships, and this will hopefully make Wabaunsee more of a tight-

ly knit school,” principal Jeff Stuewe said.Huda and Warner’s love story seems to

have inspired students to try out the ZAP Dating Service as well. “I’m going to start not doing my homework too, just so I can meet my Mr. Right in ZAP,” freshman Mad-ison Alderman said. “I actually really love procrastinating, so if I could find a woman that’s just as lazy as I am, it would be per-fect,” junior Kameron Wurtz said.

For any students interested in joining the ZAP Dating Services, see the ad below.

PROCRASTINATION DESTINATIONMagdaline McCallsenior

Due to severe budget cuts, WHS has begun issuing out bows and arrows to each student to hunt for their own food.

At a recent school board meeting,board members decided that this was the only solution to mounting budget concerns.

“Since school lunches are really small already, we figured why not just get rid of it altogether and give the students some real life skills at the same time. It’s honestly a win/win for everyone,” an anonymous board member said.

Since the budget situation is so criti-cal, the district is trying to be very care-ful with its money. Instead of purchasing bows, shop teacher Lyle Strait is assign-ing students to make bows and arrows for a grade. “As soon as I heard about this new hunting idea, I knew that mak-ing the bows and arrows would be the perfect opportunity for my students. We can even offer the bow and quiver of ar-rows for the low price of $5.” Students will start crafting bows sometime next month.

Starting this summer, government teacher Jess Rutledge will teach a hunt-ing class for the students who wear camo like they know how to hunt, but aren’t really fooling anyone. The hunting class will be held at the football field, because of the wild grasses that grow tall during the off-season. “I’m absolutely ecstatic for this hunting class. I’ll finally have a reason to use my tomahawk,” Rutledge said.

Science teacher Lisa Hull has already tried out her hunting skills. “I was feelin’ hungry so I went huntin’ for a squirrel, but those little farts are fast! It threw about 10 acorns on me before I could even blink an eye! And I thought I was nuts!” Hull said.

Although it’s hard to find any flaws in the new hunting system, some freshman have been hospitalized after getting their feet caught in a bear trap outside of the ag shop.

“Just give it some time, and students will get used to looking around their surroundings. I’m confident that by next year, our students will be great hunters,” principal Jeff Stuewe said.

Students to hunt for lunch meat

Sophomore Sania Huda and junior Andrew Warner smile lovingly for the camera. “I’ve never been happier now that I have Sania. I’m so grateful for the ZAP dating service!” Warner said. Huda and Warner have been dating for more than a year now due to ZAP. Photo by Katie Mayer.

Rayann Johnson, Jordyn Savagejuniors

Even with the school’s small population, teachers are finding a way to integrate new classes into student’s busy schedules.

Starting next year, WHS will offer three new classes.

The first addition is Intro to Gossip taught by Spanish teacher Rachael Cox.

First semester will teach students how to gossip with-out teachers hearing. Cox will begin the class with only two rules: “The first rule of gossip class is you close the door and the second rule of gossip class is you close the door.”

Second semester, students will learn how to remove em-barrassing posts about them on the internet. “It’s hard to remove embarrassing posts on the internet, so instead of try-ing to erase it, bury it by mak-ing up a more embarrassing story,” Cox said.

The second new class will be a Netflix Appreciation class taught by history teacher Jess Rutledge. In this class students will mainly watch Disney movies, especially “The Em-peror's New Groove.” They will also learn stand-up comedy techniques and how to stretch a story to its maximum enter-tainment.

“The focal point of this class is that kids understand how intricate movies and movie quotes are to daily life. It is the

key to success,” Rutledge said. The third new class will be a

Strategy Basics taught by chess duo Skyler Suther and Bren-dan Praeger. This class will be strategically placed between Suther’s office in the gym and Praeger’s classroom, which happens to be the junior hall-way. This class will not only teach chess strategies but other game strategies as well. Suther specializes in Clash of Clans strategies while Praeger spe-cializes in 1010.

Page 3 April 1, 2016The Charger | April Fools

Child labor discovered at

junior high

Charger football on the move

WHS to offer new electives

Heath Hierjunior

If one simple demand is not met, Friday nights lights may stray away from Alma for good.

The Wabaunsee Charger football team is fed up with the taxpayers of Alma. The city most recently denied up-grades to “the stable” last Fri-day. Charger management thinks that the field is behind the times.

“The field is just getting old,” sophomore halfback Kolby Droegemeier said. The team was asking for only $8.6 million in upgrades, but pen-ny-pinching fans don’t want to support the team.

Requested upgrades in-clude a new press box with five

suites for the highest donors, a new 10 x 25 foot jumbotron to be set up on the north end of the stadium, a 18 foot tall marble statue of Charlie the Charger and 300 dollars worth of new stadium cups for the north side fence.

“I don’t see how I can play the next two years without the jumbotron. It’s completely fi-nanceable if we could just get some more donors,” Droege-meier said.

Charger representatives claim that football games bring lots of revenue to Alma, and that should justify the sta-dium improvements.

The Chargers set a negotia-tion deadline for April 1.

If the deadline passes, The Chargers have two new loca-tions in mind. First is Belvue.

“Belvue is a very intriguing, we could reach both St. Marys and Wamego television audi-ences. Not to mention it would be easy to fill the seats,” junior tight end Chandlor Polston said.

The second choice is Mcfar-land. With bigger donors, this location looks very possible for the Chargers. “I live there so it would be a very short drive home. We could totally spend halftime in my living room,” Polston said.

Some fans have expressed anger over the proposed move on the team’s Facebook page, but Droegemeier said the team has to act in its best interest. “We need to do what’s best for our organization. I think the fans will understand,” Droege-meier said.

Tristan Andersonsenior

Several prom sponsors were arrested Friday by the KBI for running an underground child sweatshop ring.

The KBI received reports of children coming home from school with paper cuts all over their hands and arms that have worried parents.

After a brief investigation of the anonymous tips, the KBI busted the sweatshop ring at the junior high in Paxico. The officers found arts and crafts products throughout the school as well as boxes of paper masks. Several sponsors of the prom were arrested for the heinous act.

“It’s awful, what happened at that school,” industrial arts teacher Lyle Strait said. “I paid good money for my daughter to be in that school and this is how they repay me? By making her make paper masks?”

Other parents and teachers were also outraged by the act. “It’s a shame that these people that I’ve worked with for years would be doing this right un-der our noses,” English teacher Brendan Praeger said.

The children were taken to the hospital for physical and mental revaluation. Many were found with paper cuts, fingers covered in glue and small pieces of paper in their hair.

“I thought we were doing this for a grade,” eighth grade student Macy Falk said. “I made like 50 of those things and I didn’t get why it wouldn’t raise my grade.”

Students were under the im-pression that for every paper mask they made, it would raise their grade.

Junior Jonathon Walker teaches Clash of Clans strategies as an example of the new class that will be available next year.

Page 4 April 1, 2016The Charger | April Fools

Nick Carrollsenior

School Transmitted Dis-eases (STDs) are affecting WHS students everyday through simple interac-tions.

“Most of my friends al-ready have STDs and I’m afraid to go around them anymore. I learned home-schooling was the way to prevent them but I don’t know how they’re spread,” junior Emily Schmitz said.

Students like Schmitz have started to become worried about the diseases, but teachers are limited by state regulations onto what they can teach about STDs. “I wish I could teach more

but my hands are bound. I’m limited to teach about homeschooling instead of actual STD prevention. Plus I’m concerned for my baby honeydew,” FCS teacher Ashley Weber said. The state of Kansas requires teachers to teach only about homeschooling or not go-ing to school at all to pre-vent STD spreading.

Despite the laws, there are ways to reduce infection throughout the school. If one wishes to not contract a School Transmitted Dis-ease just limit these types of interactions: hand holding, coughing, sharing drinks, hugging, high-fiving, foot-sie, dancing, snapchatting, winking and texting.

WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR:Senioritis: With this disease, seniors become groggy, forgetful, and tend to often wear sweatpants and sleeping attire. “Senior year hit some of my classmates pretty hard. Larry barely shows

up to school and Allie Wade hasn’t shown her face here in months,” senior Tristan Anderson said.

Junior Jumble: Like Senioritis, this disease is only contract-ible in one class: juniors. This disease causes juniors to worry constantly about prom and senior year. “My mind is just a big mess with all these things. I’m really ashamed to have this disease,” junior Britt Michaelis said.

Underclassmen fever: Underclassmen Fever induces hor-mones to be released into the body leading to arrogance and cockiness. “I’m just the best at whatever I do, plain and simple,” sophomore Riley Tubbs said.

The Teacher Tremble: After grading mounds of assignments, teachers exhibit symptoms such as trembling hands and shortness of breath.

PTSD (Pre Test Stress Disorder): Stress students experience before test. Can be avoided by studying.

Early Alzheimer’s: A follow up disease of PTSD. Students will become disoriented and dazed, forgetting the information they just learned.

Three Minute Flashbacks: Can happen periodically, after being victimized by the much hated Three-Minute Quiz.

STDs transmitted through winking

Lizzie Erickson, Justin Fagersophomores

Many schools are now having a four-day school week. Here at Wabaunsee, the motto is “go big or go home” and that’s what hap-pened. Instead of doing four-day weeks, Wabaunsee will be switch-ing to one-day weeks.

The school day will last 24 hours with only three, 45 min-ute breaks to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. The theory behind this method is to improve student performance and to save money. “Schools are saving on transporta-tion, by cutting down to one-day weeks, we will be saving four times that amount, which will benefit the school greatly,” principal Jeff Stuewe said. The downside to this is that students might experience shorter breaks and there will not be any seminar classes.

Although there are things that could be viewed as disadvantages with the new schedule, there are several advantages. One would be the six-hour sports practices after the school day ends. “Having prac-tice after school has always been a tradition, and as I always say, ‘It’s a beautiful day to run!’” track and

field coach Roger Alderman said. Another advantage is the mon-

ey will be saved by cutting down transportation and meal budgets. This money could go to other things for Wabaunsee. Also, stud-ies have shown that students in schools with 4-day weeks have im-proved performance in school. By cutting down to 1-day weeks, stu-dents will become mini versions of Einstein.

The new schedule is set up as follows: eight classes that last two and a half hours each, three meal-times that last 45 minutes each and four and a half minute pass-ing periods. The amount of home-work that students would receive would be twice as they’re doing now — which should keep them busy during the six days that they do not have school.

“It still seems like too much work,” foreign language teacher Rachael Cox said. Students are ex-cited for this upcoming change to the schedules.

“I think the new schedules are fantastic. Now I’ll only have to shower once a week,” freshman Will Glotzbach said.

WHS to start one day weeks

Senior Erica Falk is being subjected to iPad rehab after Dr. Noteechs Fotens, head physician for the AMADFTTA ( The American Medical Association Division For Teen Technology Addiction), noticed her technology addiction. Treatment involves placing the teens in a dark room with only a candle and a book. If the teens improve and they don’t go into shock, doctors add more advanced technology, but nothing battery powered.

iPad rehab combats addiction