The Changing Face Of America: Marriage Equality For All

CM Hall, Ed.M.

Who I Am• Teach LGBTQ Studies course at Western Oregon

University• Trainer for GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education

Network)• I lead Safe Zone Train the Trainers on LGBT

Educational Programming at Western Oregon University

• Worked for pay and as volunteer on LGBT political and equality issues professionally for 20 years in Oregon and nationally.

• I love this topic area. This is my passion.

Today’s Objectives

• Compare and contrast different states’ relationship recognition rights in the current laws

• Explain key challenges for same-sex couples in accessing rights, benefits and services

• Devise ally behaviors to support equality in the laws

• Differentiate three key issues that potentially disempower same-sex couples from having equality in the laws

Shared Understandings• I’m here to share information.• I hope this information will be helpful and useful to you.• I value respect in communication and questions.• This is meant to be an interactive presentation.• This is a safe, non-judgmental environment to ask any

and all questions.• Many of you may also be well-versed in this topic area.• No one’s sexual orientation (or gender identity or

expression will be assumed.)• Every person is entitled to love, understanding, support

and respect.

Terminology Primer

• LGBTQ• Sexual Orientation (LGBQ)• Gender Identity & Expression (TQ)• Cisgender

To start off… • Do you know anyone who has gotten hitched

or engaged as a result of these new inclusive marriage laws?

• Do you know any heterosexual people who were married who stopped being married because marriage equality laws went into effect?

Marriage

Define it.

What does marriage mean to you?

Marriage

• a legally, religiously, or socially sanctioned union of persons who commit to one another, forming a familial and economic bond

~Dictionary.com

Marriage is about…

• Making a lifelong commitment to love and care for another person through better or worse and pledging your fidelity to them in front of family and friends

• Yes, it’s about rights and benefits, like hospital visitation, tax advantages, and sharing a spouse’s pension, BUT that’s NOT why people get married.

Why Does Marriage Matter?• Shared values• Family is family• Lifetime commitment• Protect one another

The Journey to the Freedom to Marry

A B-r-i-e-f History on Relationship Recognition…

• Domestic Partnerships– 1999 (CA)

• Civil Unions– 2000 (VT)

• Marriages for Same-Sex Couples– 2004 (MA)

• DOMA struck down – 2013 (USSC)

• Prop 8 ruled unconstitutional– 2013 (USSC)

A Look atDifferent States’

Relationship Recognition Rights in the Laws

Whiplash!Since June 2013…

• DOMA• Prop 8 Law

37 Marriage States* and counting…• AL, AK, AZ, CA, CO, CT, DE, FL, HI, ID, IA, IL, IN, KS, ME, MD,

MA, MN, MT, NC, NH, NJ, NM, NV, NY, OK, OR, PA, RI, SC, UT, VA, VT, WA, WV, WI, and WY - plus Washington, D.C

• In Alabama, a federal court has affirmed the freedom to marry, and both the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals and the U.S. Supreme Court have declined to impose a stay. Now, in light of the Alabama Supreme Court's interference, couples are seeking a class-action in federal court.

In MO, the marriages of same-sex couples legally performed in other states are respected.

Native American Tribes That Allow Same-Sex Couples to Marry

•Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes•Confederated Tribes of the Colville Reservation•Coquille Tribe•Leech Lake Band of Ojibwe•Lipay Nation of Santa Ysabel•Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians•Mashantucket Pequot•Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians•The Puyallup Tribe of Indians•Suquamish Tribe

Place of Residence vs.

Place of Celebration

All laws are not created equal.

Nearly 72% of the U.S. population now live in a state currently issuing marriage licenses to

same-sex couples state-wide.

Challenges in Accessing Rights, Benefits, and Services

2015: Arguments in front of The Supremes

• Refusing to issue marriage licenses• Refusing to recognize marriage licenses in other states

• Anti-marriage equality case: struggling to make cogent and reasoned argument to deny access to marriage masked religiosity)

• What are the long-term harms if marriage equality is law throughout the land?

• http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/h5icea/rights-court

Challenges for Same-Sex Couples• Lack of legal protection for families• Health care access for spouses• Lack of Employment Non-Discrimination laws– Promotion, Transfer, Mobility– You could be married…and fired!

• Adoption and parenting rights, birth certificates• Military spouses• Survivor benefits

Backlash

• “Threat” to religious liberty• Religious intolerants are asking for tolerance

for their intolerance• Discrimination by bakers, florists, • Indiana law– NCAA, businesses– http://

abcnews.go.com/ThisWeek/video/gov-mike-pence-religious-freedom-law-29987447

Whiplash of a Different Kind?• Anti-LGBT organizers’ new efforts to discriminate and target

LGBT individuals:

– Religious Freedom Law in IN– Proposed law in AZ: Permit businesses to deny services to any

person if doing so would substantially burden the business owners’ “exercise of religion.”• 66% against this proposed law

– Vendors claiming their “right” to discriminate against committed same-sex couples

– Vendors claiming a “war” on Christian bakers and florists who are “forced to violate their religious freedom”

Backlash“Reverse Discrimination”

• Reverse discrimination is discrimination against members of a dominant or majority group or in favor of members of a minority or historically disadvantaged group. Groups may be defined in terms of race, gender, ethnicity, or other factors (religion)

• Christians -- 77% of Americans – It does not have to equate to being anti-LGBT

Why this matters NOW… • Feb 25, 2014

Headline: Gay Parents Fight For Parenting Rights Despite Winshttp://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/gay-couples-fight-parenting-rights-despite-marriage-wins-n37661

• Sept 10, 2014Headline: Alabama Mother Fights To Block Dead Son's Husband From Estate Inheritance

http://www.peacock-panache.com/2014/09/alabama-mother-fights-to-block-dead-10250.html#sthash.5sPiTJcL.dpuf

• Oct 31, 2014YouTube: Why We Need Marriage Now…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zW7HLTHqfE

• Nov 3, 2014YouTube: A Florida Father Pays Tribute to His Deceased Husband by Fighting for Marriagehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v-XsWKMLGo#t=14

How to Move to Marriage for All

Let Progress Be Your Guide:The Right Side of History

• Pew poll found that 61% of Republicans under age 30 favor the right to same-sex marriage.

• 63% in favor of the constitutional right for gay couples to marry (2015)

• 62% of Catholics now favor the freedom to marry (2013)

• http://www.freedomtomarry.org/resources/entry/marriage-polling

• http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/l4wzj8/the-hate-class-of-2015

Change the Conversation

Away from talk of “rights, benefits, and protections” and towards “love

and a lifetime commitment”

How to Have the Conversation: Approaches Evolution

Avoid an approach such as:

• Don’t talk about marriage as a “right” or as a package of benefits

• Don’t use anti-gay opponents’ language, such as debating the false myth that gay people are a “threat to marriage.”

• Don’t come across as harsh, angry, sad, or judgmental. Let the opposition be the ones who are angry/shrill/defensive.

Promote an approach like:

• DO use language that reflects how people think about their own marriages, and how we shouldn’t hurt loving, committed couples by denying them the chance of happiness in marriage.

• Do talk about shared values that marriage embodies; love, commitment, and the lifelong promise to take care of the one you love.

• Do convey a tone that’s happy, optimistic, welcoming.

How to Have the Conversation: Language Evolution – Words Matter

Old Language

• “Marriage equality”

• “Gay marriage” or “same-sex marriage”

• “Rights and benefits of marriage”

Terms that Open Hearts and Minds

• “Freedom to marry”

• “Marriage” or “marriage for gay and lesbian couples” or “marriage for same-sex couples” or “marriage for all committed couples”

• “Protections and responsibilities that come with marriage”

How to Have the Conversation: Language Evolution – Words Matter

Old Language

• The “right” to marry

• “Equality” or “justice” or heavy reliance on words like “dignity” and “respect”

• Gay couples are the “same as”

• “Discrimination”

Terms that Open Hearts and Minds

• Gay and lesbian couples being “able” to marry

• “Freedom to marry” or “standing up before family and friends”

• “Much like” or “similar to” e.g. “Committed gay and lesbian couples want to marry for similar reasons”

• “Exclusion from marriage” or “denial of the freedom to marry”

Winning Hearts and MindsHaving the Conversation

Approaches Evolution

Avoid an approach such as:

• Don’t use name-calling. Labeling opponents “bigots” or “hateful” alienates those who are honestly wrestling with the subject.

• Don’t make comparisons to interracial marriage or to the Civil Rights Movement.

Promote an approach like:

• Do use measured, relatable language to create empathy and a sense of how opponents are hurting same-sex couples.

• Do focus on values and shared beliefs.

It’s time for us to all say, “I Do!”

Predictions

• We will see more anti-LGBT efforts until more straight and cisgender folks come out and tell their stories and share their own identities (i.e. rural/urban, Christian, friend, parent, sister, brother, child, Republican, Democrat, etc.)

• Issues with complications: Dissolution/divorce (living in or moving to a state that doesn’t recognize your commitment)

“The ship has sailed…”• Keep having conversations about why marriage

matters to you• Practice using inclusive language/signs like

“husband” or “wife” and “spouse” over “partner” when interpreting

Employment NonDiscrimination

• Legislation proposed in the US Congress that would prohibit discrimination in hiring and employment on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity by employers with at least 15 employees.

• 21 states have ENDA laws covering sexual orientation (29 do not)

• 18 states have ENDA laws covering gender identity (32 do not)

A more pervasive issue… Discrimination in Public Accommodations

• Public Accommodations are: – Government businesses, services and buildings,

including: courthouses, jails, hospitals, parks, Government-operated services, programs, or activities provided by federal, state, or local governments include transportation systems and government benefits programs (such as welfare assistance).

– Privately-owned businesses and facilities that offer certain goods or services to the public, including: food, lodging, gasoline, and entertainment

It’s a head-scratcher!

• Oct 31, 2014Headline: Here Are The 29 States Where Tim Cook Could Have Been Fired For Saying He Was Gayhttp://www.businessinsider.com/states-where-tim-cook-could-have-been-fired-for-being-gay-2014-10#ixzz3IH8Usf7y

Questions remain…• Workplace discrimination issues—there are

more states with marriage equality than have a nondiscrimination law protecting LGBTQ individuals from firing, workplace harrassment, or discrimination even if perceived to be LGBTQ. The closet may still be very real on the job, in public accommodations, in houses of worship, etc.

Did we meet these objectives?

• Compare and contrast different states’ relationship recognition rights in the current laws

• Explain key challenges for same-sex couples in accessing rights, benefits and services

• Devise ally behaviors to support equality in the laws

• Differentiate three key issues that potentially disempower same-sex couples from having equality in the laws

Come out as an Ally

• Come out as an ally. To be an ally means your effort is in trying, not in knowing everything LGBTQ.

• Attend a Safe Zone Ally Training

Contact me anytime!

CM Hall, Ed.M., NIC Advanced, EIPA Ed K:12Project Coordinator

Western Region Interpreter Education CenterWestern Oregon University

W: 503-838-8731 Voice/Text/FaceTime: 503-888-7172

www.wou.edu/wriec

Resources

• www.freedomtomarry.org• www.lambdalegal.org• www.thetaskforce.org• www.hrc.org• www.basicrights.org