THE BODY AND SEXUALITY:HOW WE AS ORTHODOX

UNDERSTAND ITArchpriest George Morelli, PhD

Lenten Retreat St. George's Antiochian

Orthodox Church San Diego – CA

2013 04 06

What is this?

Who saw this?

And this?

What do you think?

Why did God make us?

Sacred Scripture tells us:

And he said: Let us make man to our image and likeness: and let him have dominion over the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the air, and the beasts, and the whole earth, and every creeping creature that moveth upon the earth. And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.  And God blessed them, saying: Increase and multiply. (Gn 1: 26-28)

Who is God?

In the Divine Liturgy the priest exclaims (2nd Antiphon): For Thou art the Good God who lovest mankind and to Thee we ascribe glory, to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.”

“…they said to him… And he said to him: I will …” (Gn 18: 9-10) 

God’s Love is Personal

“I”---”Thou”---”I”---”He”

“God is Love” (1Jn 4:8)

The Persons of the Holy Trinity interrelate amongst themselves in Love. “That they all may be one, as thou, Father, in me,

and I in thee; that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.” (Jn 17: 21)

 But when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will teach you all truth. For he shall not speak of himself; but what things soever he shall hear, he shall speak ….  He shall glorify me; because he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it to you. All things whatsoever the Father hath, are mine. Therefore I said, that he shall receive of mine, and shew it to you. (Jn 16: 13-15)

GOD THE CREATOR

“God had no need to create the world …God created the world because He wanted the superabundant life and goodness within Himself to be shared with other beings [subject-object—lover-beloved] who would become partakers of divine blessings and holiness.”(Alfeyev, Bishop Hilarion. (2003). The Mystery of Faith. London, England: Darton, Longman & Todd).

Creation: A Trinitarian Act of Love-the Father

“By the word of the Lord the heavens were established; and all the power of them by the spirit of his mouth: Gathering together the waters of the sea, … let all the inhabitants of the world be in awe of him.  For he spoke and they were made: he commanded and they were created.” (Ps 32: 6-9)

Creation: A Trinitarian Act of Love-the Son

 ”In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with (Gk: towards pros ton Theon). God, and the Word was God.  The same was in the beginning with God.  All things were made by him: and without him was made nothing that was made.” (Jn 1: 1-3)

Creation: A Trinitarian Act of Love-the Holy Spirit

“And the earth was void and empty, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of God moved over the waters.” (Gn 1: 2)

Father-Son-Spirit

“By the word [Logos] of the Lord [Father] the heavens were established; and all the power of them by the spirit [Holy Spirit] of his mouth.” (Ps 32: 6).

Christ’s Sacrifice is of the Holy Trinity

“it is the crucifying love of the Father, the crucified love of the Son, and the love of the Holy Spirit triumphing through the power of the Cross.” [St. Philaret of Moscow in Ware, T. (1995). The Orthodox Way. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press.]

What do we learn from this?

Our bodies are created by God and are good and made for good.

God made us to be in union with Him and others.

How we use our bodies tells us our meaning of our lives.

How we use our bodies tells all how we love God and others.

The Orthodox Theology of Love

For Orthodox Christians the "theology of sex", based on Divine Love. It goes to the essence of God Himself. St John tells us "...for love is of God ....God is love." (1 John 4:7-8) This is the love we are to have for one another. Archimandrite Sophrony (1999) reports St. Silouan the Athonite echoing the Church Fathers said: "Both Christ's commandments of love towards God and love toward neighbor make up a single life.“(Sakharov, Archimandrite Sophrony, (1999). St Silouan the Athonite. Crestwood, New York: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press.)

Creation: An Act of Love

Creation is an act of love between God and His creation. He creates in love and continues to keep the universe and mankind in being out of love. The infinite God, creates out of nothing, and continues to create through the laws of nature He has created.

“I beseech thee, my son, look upon heaven and earth, and all that is in them: and consider that God made them out of nothing, and mankind also.” 2Mac 7: 28)

The Dignity of Man: Personhood

“A person may be defined as an essence with individual characteristics'.” St. Thalassios , Philokalia II, p. 330-1)

Personhood: ‘the image of God and called to be like Him.’

“When God brought into being natures endowed with intelligence and intellect He communicated to them, in His supreme goodness four of the divine attributes … being, eternal being, goodness and wisdom … being and eternal being, to their essence … goodness and wisdom to their volitive [willing faculty] so what He is in His essence the creature may be by participation. (St. Maximus the confessor, Philokalia II, pp. 86-87)

St. Paul’s Understanding of the Value of Mankind

“Or know you not, that your members are the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God; and you are not your own?” (1Cor 6: 19)

Man: Body/Mind/Spirit

Man Created for Paradise

In his Discourses St. Dorotheos of Gaza wrote: "In the beginning when God created man he set him in paradise (as the divine holy scripture says), (Genesis 2:25) adorned with every virtue, and gave him a command not to eat of the tree in the middle of paradise" (Genesis 2:16-17). (Wheeler, E.P. (1977). (ed., trans.), Dorotheos of Gaza: Discourses and Sayings. Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian Publications.)

The Tree of Knowledge: Freedom to Choose Good or Evil The tree of the knowledge of good and

evil was placed in the Garden to test Adam, but in terms different than we might at first think. God's intention was not to see Adam fall. Rather, the test would allow Adam to affirm his freedom through obedience and thereby grow into greater grace. Freedom makes available the possibility of disobedience; otherwise freedom is really not free.

What was this tree of knowledge?

The Church Fathers taught that it was a fuller knowledge of good and evil that Adam and Eve did not yet possess. Thus, when the devil (who appears in the Genesis narrative as the serpent) told them "they would be like God" he was telling the truth, but only by half. Adam and Even did indeed gain the knowledge of good and evil, but also became subject to the evil as a result. Hence the radical disordering -- the brokenness -- of creation that we call "The Fall."

Consequence of Choosing Evil: Expulsion from Paradise

Consequences of Losing Paradise: Inclination to Brokenness-Sin-Death

“And [God] commanded him, saying: Of every tree of paradise thou shalt eat: But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat. For in what day soever thou shalt eat of it, thou shalt die the death.” (Gn 2:16-17). We know our ancestors failed this test, and in the words of St. Dorotheos, "fell from a state in accord with his nature to a state contrary to nature, i.e. a prey to sin, to ambition, to a love of the pleasures of this life and the other passions; and he was mastered by them, and became a slave to them through his transgression. Then little by little evil increased and death reigned and everywhere was ignorance of God (Rm 5:14)."

God creates through His Divine Energy-Mankind Creates according to their nature

God has given mankind through its two modes of male and female a share in His creation. Sexuality is the gift from Him, by which we share in His creation. Therefore, sexuality and life is holy and should be treated as such, because it is the way we were made to share in God's creation by the material bodies He gave us.

The Spousal Meaning of Mankind

“He created him: male and female He created them.: (Gn 1: 27)

And the Lord God said: It is not good for man to be alone: let us make him a help like unto himself. (Gn 2: 18)

“And Adam said: This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.” (Gn 2: 23-24)

St. John Chrysostom on the scriptural teaching:

“Marriage is a bond, a bond ordained by God…They come to be made into one body. See the mystery of love! If the two do not become one, they cannot increase; they can increase only by decreasing. How great is the strength of unity! God's ingenuity in the beginning divided one flesh into two; but He wanted to show that it remained one even after its division, so He made it impossible for either half to procreate without the other…(Of Adam and Eve)…He reunited these two into one, so that their children [emphasis mine] would be produced from a source…husband and wife are not two but one.” (St. John Chrysostom. (2003). On Marriage and Family Life. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press)

St. John used the metaphor of gold as the value of the offspring of this union:

“How do they become one flesh? As if she were gold receiving the purest of gold, the woman receives the man's seed with rich pleasure, and within her it is nourished, cherished and refined. It is mingled with her own substance and she then returns it as a child! The child is a bridge connecting mother to father, so the three become one flesh…” (St. John Chrysostom, 2003)

The Union of Husband and Wife, Male and Female in a Blessed Marriage:

Impossible Unions to be Blessed by God

Christ’s Warning about Children

“It were better for him, that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should scandalize one of these little ones.” (Lk 17: 2)

For Parents and Child Caretakers

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain: "Both father and mother will responsible for not looking after their children…The parents, who do not look after their children, are not good parents and they will have to justify their actions to God" (Ageloglou, Priestmonk Christodoulos. (1998). Elder Paisios of The Holy Mountain. Mt. Athos, Greece: Holy Mountain.)

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain

God’s Command To Value & Care For Ourselves and Others

“But if any man violate the temple of God, him shall God destroy. For the temple of God is holy, which you are.” (1Cor 3: 17)

Thus the words of St. Paul to the Corinthians have so much meaning: “For you are bought with a great price. Glorify and bear God in your body.” (1Cor 6: 20) As God's love is not casual, crude, rude and self-centered; so too, our love of self and others should not be this way. As God's love is giving, emptying and creative; so too our love of self and others should be this way.

Sin Against Others

Body Mind Spirit

Sins against Others

Are based on selfishness and self-centeredness, indifference to mankind, lack of attention, interest, & love of others.

They all involve a self focus that de-values the dignity of others & their personhood, made by God in His image.

Ways of Participating in Sin [Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese. (1956). A Pocket Prayer Book for Orthodox Christians. Englewood, NJ: Author.]

Counsel Command Consent Provocation Praise or Flattery Concealment Partaking Silence Defense

Passions As Directed To Sin Against Others

PRIDE—Self Centered Superiority & Power. GREED---Depriving Others Of Their

Physical & Spiritual Needs. LUST---Worship Of Sensual Pleasure at

Expense Of Others. ANGER---Having The Right to Strike Out at

Others GLUTTONY---Taking More Than One Needs ENVY---Jealousy Of God’s Gifts To Others SLOTH---Lack Of Duty To Mankind

Typical Sins Against Others

abortion, adultery, alcoholism, blasphemy, child or spousal abuse (physical, psychological, sexual or neglect), drug addiction, evil speaking (talking about someone, even if true), fornication, graft, gossip, homosexual relationships, insider trading, kidnapping, lying, pre-emptive unjust warfare, pornography, same sex marriage, torturing and/or belittling prisoners, using others for money, power or sex, acts of vengeance (national and personal). These indicate various underlying sinful attitudes, e.g., anger, contempt, deceit, harshness, hatred, hypocrisy, lust, negligence (such as not caring for the environment); disrespect for the God given sexual gifts given by God: promoting female ordination

Typical Sins Against Self

abortion, adultery, alcoholism, blasphemy, drug addiction, fornication, same sex marriage or relationships, or habits that harm one’s own body, like smoking and overeating.

I BESEECH you therefore, brethren, by the mercy of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, pleasing unto God,

your reasonable service.  And be not conformed to this world; but be reformed in

the newness of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, and the acceptable,

and the perfect will of God (Ro 12: 1-2)

Abortion: Sin Against Personhood

Back to the Superbowl 2013 Halftime Show

Loving versus Using- Jesus tells His Apostles: “A new commandment I give unto you: That you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” (Jn 13: 34)

Example I: Hooking-up

You are at a party. Most are drinking. Some are even doing drugs. Many are getting ‘intimate’ with one another. You see a couple go off to a vacant bedroom. Some do not even need a bedroom they are beginning ‘hooking-up’ in front of others. The person who has hanged around with you practically the whole time at the party keeps saying “Lets have some fun. Come on everyone is doing it.”

Its just “Hooking-up”

At some point, after a some increasing passion, starting to go beyond kissing and fondling: “Come on it doesn’t mean anything, it is just ‘hooking-up.’ Come on everyone is doing it.”

“Hooking-up” Questionnaire

Is this an example of real love or using? Is the ‘hooker-upper’ looking out for the

good and welfare of the wished for ‘hooker-upee?’

Is the ‘hooker-upper’ respecting the dignity and personhood of the desired ‘hooker-upee’?

Can the ‘hooker-upper’ be trusted? If a “hook-up’ takes place, what is the

likely outcome?

Example II: Dating

A couple is dating. They enjoy spending time with each other. They certainly have a mutual attraction.

Dating: Loving – Using Questionnaire

Is quality time spent with each other’s family?

(Depending on age of those dating) Are curfews set up by parents kept?

Can those dating be honest with their parents about the person they are dating?

Has dating brought you closer to friends and family?

Do you attend Divine Liturgy and pray together?

Dating: Loving-Using Questionnaire con’t

Do you see your date as a loyal, committed spouse?

Do you see your date as a loyal, committed caring parent?

If you already have had intimate relations with your date would the person stay with you if you wanted to stop any sexual intimacy until a blessed marriage?

Are you willing to set boundaries and would they be respected by your date?

Dating: Loving-Using Questionnaire con’t

Do you and your date avoid situations that would lead to ‘going too far?’

If your family and parish priest knew everything about your dating relationship would they approve?

Do you think that ‘self-arousal’ is OK, because it is private and doesn’t involve or hurt anyone?

Male Questionnaire

When you see an attractive girl do you imagine sexual intimacy with her?

Do you speak respectfully about girls or in some course sexual innuendo?

Do you flirt and hint with your girlfriend (or other girls) in such a manner as to invite a sexual encounter?

Do you get angry if your girlfriend sets sexual boundaries?

Male Questionnaire con’t

Do you cheat on your girlfriend? In the back of your mind do you know

you will not marry her? Do you look at pornography (DVD’s

websites, magazines, strip clubs)? Do you brag to your friends about you

sexual exploits?

Female Questionnaire

Have you had sex to make a boy stay interested in you?

Do you give in to you boyfriend’s sexual advances to prevent rejection or avoid arguments?

Do you dress provocatively to get attention?

Do you talk about sex with your girlfriends?

Do you flirt with boys with no intention of dating?

Female Questionnaire con’t

Do you flirt (and/or sexually flirt) with others while dating your boyfriend?

Do you cheat on your boyfriend? Do you ‘go along with the crowd’ so as

not to be prudish and or rejected. Do you justify sexual activity outside of a

blessed marriage because it is ‘love’ Is porn part of your life and/or do you put

up with your boyfriends pornography lifestyle?

The Blessed Orthodox Marriage

A couple is ordained as the leaders, crowned asking and queen of their domestic church, granted grace for the "fair education of children" (Orthodox wedding service). Authentic and true love seeks to replicate the type of self-sacrifice Christ revealed to us when He became man and dwelt among us (and which is still expressed today in Christ's faithfulness to His Church).

Self-Sacrificial Love

Conforms to the Great Commandment to love our neighbor more highly than ourselves. In so doing we also love and honor God (Matthew 25:36-40, 1 John 4:19-21). This kind of love between husband and wife, even if imperfectly practiced and not always realized, constitutes what St. John Chrysostom called the "small church" and as such ensures the health and stability of the family in raising children (Homily XX on Ephesians 5: 22-33 http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/230120.htm).

The Crowning

The "crowning" of the couple actually references martyrdom, that is, giving one's life for the other. As a martyr gives his life for Christ, so must the spouse be willing to give his life to his wife (and the wife to her husband), and in so doing fulfill the law of Christ which is to love the neighbor as yourself. It is a call to love that rings through the intoxication of pleasant emotion into the deeper reservoirs of the heart and soul from where sacrificial love is drawn.

Marital ‘Kenosis’-Self-Emptying

Marital self-emptying however, occurs only if each partner consents to it. In making man in His image, God gave man freedom. This leads those in a marital union to a crossroad: The path of righteousness where marriage is a joined duality, or the path of self-satisfaction where marriage is defined as a singularity.

Self vs. Other Directed Choices

Self-centered marriage is a marriage in name only. Self-sexual arousal is likewise self-centered. After the Fall we are predisposed to self-centered choices directed by the passions (lusts) rather than choices based on agape. St. Isaac of Syria tells us: ". . . pandering to the flesh, produce(s) in us shameful urges and unseemly fantasies" (Early Fathers from the Philokalia).

Orthodox Christian Marriage is Mutual -- Equal Respect and Love

The Epistle (Eph 5: 20-33) read at the Orthodox wedding service is often misunderstood. The focus of the understanding is the beginning of the passage, describing the husband as "head" and wives as "subject.“- interpreted in Western culture as misogynist. Understanding the meaning of the quoted passage is the later verse: "For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church." This means the wife and husband are of the same flesh and value. He would value her and her preferences as he values his own. Thus an equality in respect and love.

Parents Are Teachers of the Gift of Blessed Sexual Love

From early childhood to the teen years, parents and child caretakers should present this "theology of sexuality." The parents in word and action must first model this presentation. Use of crude words for body parts or the sex act undermines the holiness and sanctity of sex itself. It also bespeaks unbelievable hypocrisy. Any presentation of sexuality must be age-appropriate. Ordinary daily events give parents so many opportunities to discuss sexuality and its meaning.

Parental Praxis

Most importantly, never separate the explanation of sex from the love of God in terms of His creation and commitment to us and the creative act and commitment implied in the sex act within marriage. When family members are exposed by way of the media to sex that is devoid of God's creative love and commitment, parents can comment on it. Simple interpretive comments on advertisements can be very effective. When a suggestive ad on TV appears for example, a parent may comment: "Look how this ad is using that look (posture, etc). Where is the deep meaning and love they should have for one another as Christ had for us"? Comments do not have to be long and preachy. Children learn very effectively from short, pointed statements.

Sex and Pleasure

Frequently sex focuses on the "hedonistic", pleasurable feelings that accompany a sex act. This topic should also not be avoided but addressed. God allows us to feel pleasure. This is the way He made us. The acts that can produce pleasure can be either acts that help ourselves and others grow psychologically and spiritually, or that can enslave us and others in terms of ordinary human development: socially, occupationally, and spiritually. Pleasure blinds and enslaves us when we are motivated to act selfishly and not for the good and welfare of the other whom God asks us to Love. Pleasure as a result of a loving act can help and motivate us to continue sharing in God's loving committed creative acts.

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain wrote: "We should do whatever can be humanly achieved; the rest which is beyond our power, must be left in God's hands.“ (Ageloglou, Priestmonk Christodoulos. (1998). Elder Paisios of The Holy Mountain. Mt. Athos , Greece : Holy Mountain .)

Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain