The Best T-Shirts of Summer 1999

(Around a picture of dandelions): I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won.

So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends

If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going.

At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All . . . I

JustCan't Remember It All

My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips

(Spotted at a gay pride parade): My Son Just Came

Out of the Closet and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.

(Spotted on Cape Cod): If It's Called Tourist Season, Why

Can't We Hunt Them?

Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With

Princes, Seeks Frog

What If the Hokey Pokey Really IS What It's All About?

Coffee, Chocolate, Men . . . Some Things Are Just Better

Rich

Growing Old Is Inevitable; Growing Up Is Optional

Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen

First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, Closed

In Dog Years, I'm Dead

If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You.

The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No

Lifeguard.

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It'll Be a Great Trade.

It's Hard to Be Nostalgic When You Can't Remember

Anything.

Dinner Is Ready When the Smoke Alarm Goes Off.

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship.

Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well.

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night.

A City Is a Large Community Where People Are Lonesome

Together.

In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the

Risks You Take.

Huked on Fonicks Werked Four Me.