Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it! For boldness hasgenius, power and magic in it. — Goethe

From the Editorpage 2

Log Line Part Deuxpage 3The Business ofWritingpage 4Recap of CarolBerg’s Workshoppage 5

Contest Winnerspage 6

Meet the Winnerspage 7Opening Your Storywith Powerpage 8BeckyLandpage 9One Volunteer’sStorypage 9Upcoming Eventspage 10Sweet Successpage 11March Write Brainpage 11

The Fire in FictionWorkshoppage 12

VOLUME IX, ISSUE 3May/June 2010

”

CCOONNTTEENNTTSS

“

By Grant McKenzie

For 18 years, the Pikes Peak Writers Conference hasprovided an exceptional opportunity for writersfrom across the nation to hone their craft. This

year’s faculty and staff consistently exceeded attendees’expectations and put together one of the best conferencesto date. As with any event of this magnitude, however,some things stood out as the best of the best.

Best Read & Critique: All writers need feedback,whether they want it or not. PPWC offers ample oppor-tunity, in a variety of formats, for writers to have theiropening pages reviewed by top agents, editors, and otherpublished authors. While all these sessions provide greatfeedback, Caryn Wiseman’s session stood out for this year’sconference attendees.

Caryn, who is an agent withthe Andrea Brown LiteraryAgency, gave the writers in hersession a “much more accuratepicture of how to build a greatfirst page.” She personalized“detailed feedback that variedfor each writer.” “Every wordwas educating” in this session,

and attendees learned “how to start a book and really grabthe reader’s attention.” Caryn’s “good insights” and “greatfeedback” provided “a new perspective” for many writers.

Best Friday Session: The opportunity to pitch toagents and editors is a majordraw to the PPWC. Scheduledpitches are usually on Saturday,so anything on Friday thathelps writers prepare is boundto be a hit. Linda Rohrbough’s“Second Log Line” presen-tation was no exception.

Linda gave attendees

“Courage!” and “A Plan!” for their upcoming pitches. Herpresentation created “clarity for preparing for pitchsessions.” Many attendees found the “Second Log Line”presentation “tremendously inspiring” and were “SO glad[they] came to this one.” PPWC will “definitely bring herback again” for future conferences.

Best Pitch: Seventeen-year-old Kelsie attended PPWCfor the first time and decided to pitch one of her

manuscripts. Although nervous goinginto the pitch session, Kelsie was on“cloud nine” and had “no memory”of the hour or so after the agentrequested her manuscript. She creditsthis success to many things. First, shehad a lot of pitch coaching, both inseminar and one-on-one. She specifi-cally credits Linda Rohrbough’s“Second Log Line” presentation as

being significantly helpful. Kelsie also says she tries to stayfocused on a project until it is complete before moving onto a new manuscript. That kind of dedication is what hasled to three completed manuscripts. Finally, Kelsie enters asmany contests as possible. She says the pressure of adeadline gives her the motivation she needs.

Best Saturday Session: PPWC was honored towelcome Donald Maass and Lisa Rector (Maass) this year.Donald gave the keynote address at Sunday brunch,

continued on page 2

The Best of PPWC 2010

From the Editor

“You’re notnormal.”

Jodi Thomasreminded us of this inher Friday night keynoteaddress at PPWC 2010.As writers, we’ve all hadsome sense of that factour entire lives. So it’slikely that Mrs. Thomas’

proclamation was not news. But here’s why it’s noteworthy:

because we’re not normal, we understandeach other. We need each other, and wefeed off of each other’s similar abnormal-

ities. That’s a large part of what makesconference so invigorating, challenging, andvital to our writing lives.

It’s also what makes PPW membershipso important—and, I hope, what makes theNewsMag useful and inspiring for itsreaders. We thrive when we’re encouragedin our common lifelong dream, givenpermission to pursue it, and equipped withthe tools it takes to get us there.

If you were able to attend PPWC, inwhole or in part, I know that it made adifference in your writing life. Perhapsyou’re one step closer to landing an agentor editor after a triumph in the pitch room.Or you’re on your way to finishing andperfecting that manuscript because of therich, dynamic content of the workshops. If

you’re already published, I’m sure youfound the networking valuable, and learnedabout new ways to market and promoteyour work.

If you weren’t able to join us, our goalwith this NewsMag is to pass on as muchof the magic as we possibly can. In fact,there’s so much to share, you’ll be seeingconference-related articles in the latesummer issue as well.

So, celebrate your state of not beingnormal. Let it work to your advantage inyour work, and be glad you’re a part of thiswonderful community of like-minded,slightly kookystory-tellers.

Happywriting!

followed by a four-hour workshop based onhis book The Fire in Fiction. He also gave aSaturday workshop on creating tension inevery level of your work.

Donald’s Saturday session succeeded in itsgoal of providing “pointers on how to ratchetup the dialogue/action on every page tocreate a real page-turner.” “It was the mosteducational and practical of all the lectures,”and was built upon “good audience partici-pation.” Many attendees thought Donald’spresentation would “strengthen [their]fiction” and “improve [their] writing.” Oneattendee even decided to add the materialgenerated from the worksop lessons to hernonfiction manuscript.

Best Sunday Session: Donald Maass andLisa Rector make a great team at a conferencelike PPWC. Their combined consultation andreview donated to the silent auction is justone of many examples of their teamwork.Although Donald’s Sunday workshop was anadd-on to this year’s conference, Lisa’s Sundayworkshop was part of the core conferencepackage and was widely regarded as the bestSunday session.

Building a story can be difficult, but notnearly as difficult as beginning one. Lisa’spresentation on “The First Fifty Pages” was“one of the most informative of theweekend.” Attendees were most impressedwith the applicability of the session. Lisa, inher “very positive and passionate” way, gaveher audience “lots of thought-provoking

scenarios to apply to writing” and “ways toimprove immediately.”

Other Bests from PPWC 2010Best Queen of the Universe: Laura HaydenBest Rivalry: Laura Hayden (Bama) & TimDorsey (Auburn)Best Pitch Switcher: Bonnie HaganBest Pitch Apprentice: Jen LaPointeBest Photographer: Jared HaganBest Silent Auctioneer: Chris MandevilleLoudest Silent Auctioneer: ConnieMcKenzieBest Pinball Impersonation: KelsieBaltrushBest Alter Ego: TrixieBest Sashay: Todd Fahnestock

BestImprovStory:CorbinWaggonerBestMascot:RuhBest BootSisters:Terrie Wolfand DebCourtney

Bimonthly NewsMagazine of the Pikes PeakWriters, a 501(c)3 non-profit with membersacross the United States

427 E. Colorado Ave. #116Colorado Springs, CO 80903(719)531-5723E-mail: info@pikespeakwriters.comWeb site: www.pikespeakwriters.com

PPW Officers

Pikes Peak Writers operates as a nonprofit, taxexempt organization incorporated in November 2001 asthe Pikes Peak Writers. PPW NewsMagazine is abimonthly publication serving members of Pikes PeakWriters group. The opinions expressed in PPW

NewsMagazine don’t necessarily reflect those of theeditorial staff/board of directors. Articles in PPW

NewsMagazine may not be reproduced without thewritten consent of PPW.

©2010 Pikes Peak Writers.

The Best of PPWC 2010continued from page 1

PresidentRon HeimbecherVP of OperationsChris MandevilleVP of ProgrammingBarb NicklessWorkshops DirectorMaria FaulconerSecretaryBonnie HaganTreasurer Charlie RushPhotographerJared Hagan

Graphic DesignMartha Lancaster

Conference DirectorLaura HaydenContest DirectorDawn Smit MillerFaculty DirectorSusan MitchellMember at LargeEllen PhilipsEditorMandy Houk

Editorial TeamFleur BradleyBonnie HaganChristian LyonsGrant McKenzieRobin Widmar

2 Pikes Peak Writer

Tim Dorsey, Banquet Keynote, Chris

Mandeville, and PPWs Best Mascot, Ruh.

By Mandy Houk

Ihad never even heard of a log line untilmy first Pikes Peak Writers Conference.Suddenly, after two years of writing and

rewriting, revising and polishing, I was told tocapture the essence of my work in onesentence of 25 words or less.

Let’s just say I made good use of contrac-tions.

Thanks to the coaching of PamMcCutcheon, Deb Courtney, and ChrisMandeville, I wound up with a log line thatmade the agent cock her head, say “Oooh,”and ask for the full manuscript.

Since I had apparently mastered the logline, star pupil that I am (cough), I never gavemuch thought to how to talk more about mybook. I had the 25-word mantra tucked away,ready to whip out at a moment’s notice,preferably near an agent or editor with thepower to change my life. What more could Ipossibly need?

And then I attended Linda Rohrbough's“Second Log Line” workshop at PPWC 2010.Not only did she have a quick trick for testingthe logline I already had (thanks to my earliercoaches, it passed!). She also introduced abrand-new concept: the second log line. (Goahead—cock your head and say “oooh.”)

First, she took us through the log line test.Each log line should include the followingelements, either explicitly or implied:

HeroFlawLife-Changing EventOpponentAllyBattle

To illustrate this, Linda used severalpopular movies and applied a log line to each.My favorite example should ring a bell (punintended):

“A boxer with a loser mentality gets achance to fight for the world title.”

But let’s carry the concept further—wouldn’t you like to be able to concisely sumup the point of the book? The emotionalpull? That’s why we read, after all: to feelemotions—whether it’s joy or sadness, fear ortriumph.

To craft a second log line, Linda had uswrite out the following:

Identify the character that arcs (changes)Describe that arc

The second log line that Linda crafted forthe earlier example went like this:

“With the help of his girlfriend, he learnsto see himself as a winner before he evenenters the ring.”

Not only do you know exactly what moviethese log lines represent (do I really have tosay?), but you can see how completely Lindacaptured the main character, the story, andeven hinted at the theme. All in fifty words orless (thirty-five in this case).

If you'd like to spell out the theme, itshould follow naturally from the second logline. “Love lifts us up,” for this example.

The purpose and the importance of eachseparate log line was stated succinctly inLinda’s workshop handout: “While the logline delivers the essentials of the plot, thesecond log line focuses on the character arcand delivers a more emotional element. Astrong log line followed by a second log linetakes into account the major change in thestory, allows you to start a dialog, and createsinterest and identification in the listener orreader.”

Once you’ve mastered not only the log linebut the second log line (let’s call it the LindaLine, since she invented it), you’re ready totalk about your book to anyone who’ll listen.And if it’s your dream agent, you might haveto get ready for a victory run up those stairsat the Philadelphia Museum of Art. (If youhaven’t guessed it by now, you need to putRocky on your Netflix queue, stat.)

Log Line Part Deux

Pikes Peak Writer 3

Best Meal: Beef AND Chicken at SaturdayBanquetBest Elevator: 2

Now that the awards have been announcedand the conference is done, I think we wouldall agree with the writer who reviewed LisaRector’s presentation: “Outstanding! Can’twait to get back to writing.”

What not to do with your pitch.

Conference attendees enjoyed

Saturday’s booksigning.

LEFT: Jodi

Thomas brought

the house down

on Friday evening

with her funny

stories about

breaking into

writing.

RIGHT:

Saturday

lunch with

Kelley

Armstrong.

Best of 2010continued from page 2

Best Sashay: Todd Fahnestock

But Donald Maass and Jodi Anderson

(aka Trixie) came in a close second.

By Linda Rohrbough

Every once in a while I hear a self-publishing story that gets my attention.Recently, I heard about an author

who’d tried to get an agent for about five years,finally self-published her novel, then signedwith an agent who took the book to auction.She landed a two-book hardcover deal thatmade Publisher’s Weekly. Lots of people self-publish, so what got the attention of the agentand the publishers? I set up an interview tofind out. The magic words: book clubs.

The author is Maryann McFadden(http://www.MaryannMcFadden.com) andher mainstream novel is The Richest Season.Maryann told me she had experience doingarticle work as a journalist. But when herhusband lost his job, she quit writing andwent into real estate for ten years.

When she decided to start writing again,she had an idea for a novel which took threeand a half years to write. For five yearsMaryann sent the book to agents andpublishers while she carried a three-ringbinder with the printed pages for family andfriends to read. Everyone was enthusiastic,except the agents and publishing houses.During that period, one agent picked her up,but couldn’t make a living and quit.

When she turned fifty, Maryann decided topublish the book herself. She didn’t want it tolook like a typical POD (print on demand –the publishing industry’s term for any bookthat’s self-published), so she avoided PublishAmerica or iUniverse and found a small pressin California. She was picky about making surethe cover looked professional, and she had aline edit done of the manuscript. Contactingindependent booksellers, she set up signings ina number of states over eight months,promoting heavily in the local media anddonating as many as ten copies of the bookfor the bookstores to raffle, sell, or give away.

But the independents put her on to readerbook clubs and that’s where she made asplash. Her sister knew webcam technology(this was pre-Skype), so Maryann offered book

clubs either webcam meetings or phone inter-views. Her first book club meeting took placevia video at an independent bookstore inFlorida with Maryann at her sister’s Cape Codcottage, where the opening of the book is set.

“The club had dinner and snacks thatrevolved around the book, including achocolate turtle dessert. We toasted eachother on-screen.”

Word-of-mouth helped and in an eight-month period she did twenty-fiveindependent bookstore signings on-site, andappearances with over forty reader bookclubs. She made sure each book clubappearance was coordinated through theindependent booksellers.

Exhausted, but with two thousand bookssold, she went home with the advice from abookstore owner still ringing in her ears: startwriting again. She did, and also got restartedon the agent route. “I felt like I’d proven mybook had a market.”

Several agents did contact Maryann. “Onewanted me to add humor and make it ChickLit. Another wanted me to pull a characterentirely out.” Agent Victoria Sanders wasinterested and asked for a six-week exclusiveto consider the book. Of course, she endedup taking two months, then asked Maryann toadd some material to the beginning. Maryannalready had the same feedback from the bookclubs, so she agreed to the changes, andSanders not only represented Maryann buttook the book to auction.

The suddenness of it felt surreal toMaryann, even though this was exactly whatshe’d been working for. The agent sent outcopies to publishing houses on a Thursday inthe Spring of 2007 and they had severaloffers on Tuesday when the auction rolledaround. Hyperion won.

The trade paperback version of The RichestSeason is out now, along with Maryann’s secondhardcover, So Happy Together. Her first book hasbeen translated into Italian and German, and aSpanish translation is in the works. Plus she’sunder contract for a third book.

Believing in herself was paramount. “Ican’t tell you how close I came to giving up.When I wrote my first book, I had novacations.” When Maryann sent the

manuscript out, “The responses got me soexcited and the rejections got me sofrustrated. I’d go to book signings, buy theauthor’s book and give them a copy of mine,asking them to read it. My secret dream wasthat someone would notice it.”

When none of that worked, Maryann tookstock. “I had to ask myself, what did I reallywant?” One writer’s blog said she won the“literary lottery.” But Maryann laughs andsays it was all about hard work. Fortunately,it’s hard work any writer—self-published ornot—can learn from.—Linda Rohrbough has been writing professionallysince 1989, and has more than 5,000 articles, sevenbooks, and numerous awards for her fiction and non-fiction. Linda’s latest book is Weight Loss Surgerywith the Adjustable Gastric Band (Da CapoLifelong Books, March 2008). Visit Linda’s Web site:wwsw.LindaRohrbough.com.

The Business of WritingSelf-Published Novelist Beats the Odds

(via Book Clubs and Video Conferencing)

4 Pikes Peak Writer

Resources1. Detailed instructions for authors onhow to set up video conference withSkype. (Some of this is a restatement ofthe obvious, but it makes for a goodchecklist): children’s book author KateMessener blogs about video via Skype:(www.donnagephart.blogspot.com/2010/03/skype-with-kate-messner-top-6-12-list.html) and Darcy Pattison talks aboutsetting up lighting and makeup.(www.darcypattison.com/marketing/skype-tips-be-prepared/) 2. Web sites to sign up to be a Skypeauthor, mostly aimed at schools andlibraries (some of these offer payment forvisiting authors, others are volunteer):Skype An Author Network(www.skypeanauthor.wetpaint.com/)Visiting Authors(www.visitingauthors.com/)Linda Lowery and Richard Keep(www.lindalowery.com/content/blogcat-egory/24/17/)Connecting Authors (www.connectingauthors.com/) 3. Don’t forget to use search engines suchas Google (www.google.com) to find bookclubs and author video conference opportunities.

By

Robin Widmar

There are many ways to plot a story:detailed synopses, scene by sceneoutlines, chapter by chapter outlines,

using note cards on a wall, preparingexhaustive character biographies. Manywriters have a need to know the whole storybefore they first set pen to paper or fingers tokeyboard. Others are overwhelmed by theprospect of trying to figure out a mountainof details before they can begin writing. Notwo writers are alike, and every writerdevelops his or her favorite method forplotting. In this workshop, acclaimed fantasyauthor Carol Berg shared what works for her.

Carol believes that tight and well-plottednovels can be written without knowing everydetail, every character or every scene in theentire story before the writing starts. Sheprefers to live the events of the story withher characters, experiencing events as theyhappen and seeing the world through theireyes. This helps her develop characters thatlive and breathe on the page, and settings thatbecome integral parts of the story. Actionprogresses logically from the events of thestory and the interaction of the characterswith their settings.

That doesn’t mean that Carol doesn’t doany planning at all before she starts to create

a story; she simply prefers “not to haveplanned out too much.” She advises that thereis a minimum of information to know beforeyou start writing your story, or else you’ll“wander all over the place and have no ideawhere you’re going, and it’s going to befrustrating.” Carol identifies a minimum offour need-to-know elements before she startswriting: a character, point of view, a “here,”and a “there.”

“Carol believes that tightand well-plotted novelscan be written withoutknowing every detail,

every character or everyscene in the entire story

before the writing starts.”

1. A character. “You have to havesomebody to start out with on page one. Itmay not be your principal character, but itprobably should be a character that we’regoing to care about.” A character is a being,human or otherwise, complete with a goal, amotivation and a conflict. Characters don’thave to be good, or even likeable, but thereader needs to identify with them. Carolnotes that if your main character doesn’tappear on page one, then he or she had bettershow up somewhere in the first few pages!

2. Point of view. This doesn’t mean thefirst-person or third-person way of telling thestory, but rather the perspective from whichthe story is told. The reader will see thestory’s world and events through someone’seyes—often the main character, or perhaps a

secondary character. Point of view characterscan change throughout a story. Who will yourpoint of view character(s) be?

3. “Here” is the time and place thestory happens. It is also an event, oftendescribed as “the moment when everythingchanges.” Time, place, and the event that ishappening when the story opens all shouldappear on page one.

4. “There” is the overall story arc,which Carol defines as “a series ofactions or scenes of rising tension thateventually arrive at a climax.” Novels areactually made of multiple arcs that providetwists, revelations, changes of story direction,and mid-point resolutions. Determining theall-encompassing arc that goes from thebeginning to the story’s end will give youdirection. And knowing your story’s directionwill keep you from straying too far from thestory you want to tell.

Once you have identified these fourelements for your own story, start writing. Letthe story generate questions, and ask yourselfhow each scene would play differently if youchange the situation leading up to it. Beprepared to throw out what doesn’t work. Seewhere the story takes you.

There may be more you want to knowabout your story before you start writing it,but at least you now have a direction. You willbe able to feel when you start to wander awayfrom the story. Carol likens this writingprocess to driving in fog. “Your story is outthere in the fog, and you can only see theroad just in front of you, and a maybe littlebit to either side, but you know that you’reheading for Kansas. And as you drive, the fogstarts to thin out a little bit, and you startseeing road signs…and the farther you go, themore things appear from the fog.”

2010 PPWC Workshop Recap: From Here to There: An Alternative to Outlining

with Carol Berg

Pikes Peak Writer 5

LEFT: Faculty

members, Kelley

Armstrong and

Betsy Mitchell,

were escorted

by Chris Myers

to Garden of the

Gods on Friday

morning.

LEFT: Kristin Nelson

listens and gives

comments at her

Saturday workshop,

An Agent Reads

from the Slushpile.

Chris Mandeville

reads from the first

page.

Children's (for ages 8-12) First place:Kimberly Ann Piddington, Ozark, MOThe Summer of 1925Second place:Cindy Mae Strandvold, Loveland, COThe Secret of the LegacyThird place:Victoria A. Rotton, Kenmore, WAThe Secret Tribe

Historical FictionFirst place:Cristin Colleen Bruggeman, Kailua-Kona, HIThe Heir of ArtashadSecond place:Ashlee Cowles, Colorado Springs, COTo the Ends of the Earth Third place:Cynthia Schaible Boyll, Colorado Springs, COUnexpected Riches

Mainstream First place:Brenda Smith Warren, Woodbridge, VANettle CreekSecond place:Charlie Hanline, Pueblo, COSarafina

Third place:Tiffany Yates, Austin, TXThe Breakup Doctor

Mystery/Suspense/Intrigue First place:Michael Shepherd, Colorado Springs, COEasy StreetSecond place:Deborah Gengler-Dunn, Fort Collins, COComing On NightThird place:William E. Mason, Monument, COChloe

Romance First place:Michelle Mason White, Highlands Ranch, COPrickly PairSecond place:Laura Ann Burdette, Ozark, MOFamily BusinessThird place:Monica Peters, Leeper, PAMoon Child

Science Fiction/Fantasy/Horror First place:Julie A. Kazimer, Westminster, COF*%#ed Up Fairytale

Second place:Carrie Seidel, Arvada, COGhostscape ParkThird place:Martha G. Verlander, Raytown, MOLegend of the Black Diamond

Short Stories First place:Sharon McClure Scarborough, Austin, TXThe SteelingSecond place:Cynthia S. Becker, Pueblo, CO ConsideringThird place:Charlie Hanline, Pueblo, COSnakes and Other Friends

Young Adult (for ages 12-18) First place:Patti J. Kurtz, Minot, NDWorth The RiskSecond place:Abigail Hing Wen, Palo Alto, CAAmbassadorThird place:Melissa McInerney, Evergreen, COScar Tissue

2010 Pikes Peak Writers Fiction ContestWinners List

6 Pikes Peak Writer

continued on page 7

Pictured are

the contest

finalists who

attended the

conference.

Front row

seated is Dawn

Smit Miller,

Contest

Director, and

Chris Scena,

2010 Contest

Coordinator.

By Chris Scena

Imay have taken our illustrious Director’swords too close to heart in editing thisyear’s bios (trying to stick to a fifty word

limit). However, the silver lining is that wewill have room for more entrants’ infor-mation, presented below in no particularorder.

Please join me in congratulating this year’sfinalists.

Cynthia BeckerSecond Place, Short StoryConsidering

Author of eight nonfiction books, CynthiaBecker first explored short story writing in the2006 PPWC flash fiction workshop. Sheexpanded to longer works and placed first inthe 2009 Women Writing the West short storycontest. Historical research tidbits and lives ofKentucky ancestors spark many of her stories.

Brenda Smith WarrenFirst Place, Mainstream Nettle Creek

Brenda Smith Warren, an Ohio StateGraduate, former teacher and military wife,has lived and worked in many parts of theworld. She has recently completed her firstnovel, Nettle Creek. She currently lives inNorthern Virginia with her husband, twodogs, and two cats.

Cynthia Schaible BoyllThird Place, Historical FictionUnexpected Riches

Cynthia Schaible Boyll (byline—C.S. Boyll),Colorado Springs, has been creating storiessince she was a child. She has made a living asa reporter and magazine editor, and now hasa small writing/editing business calledAeryscribe Services. Her historical novel,Unexpected Riches, is her first adult book.

Patti KurtzFirst Place, Young AdultWorth the Risk

Patti Kurtz teaches writing at Minot StateUniversity, where her students are her bestcritics. She is an avid fan of auto racing, andloves creating strong female characters whodo things she wishes she’d done when she

was sixteen. She lives in Minot with herhusband and two dogs.

Cindy StrandvoldSecond Place, Children’sThe Secret of the Legacy

Cindy Strandvold was born with her nosestuck in a book. For the last eleven years she’sworked at writing one. Cindy lives with herfamily in a 113-year-old house in Loveland,CO. She thanks her three cats for regularlysupervising her writing from their vantagepoint on her lap.

Kim PiddingtonFirst Place, Children’sThe Summer of 1925

Kim Piddington is a recent transplant toMissouri from Southern California. Shedecided to investigate local folklore to helpdeal with her culture shock, and The Summer of1925 was born. A teacher by day, she spendsher evenings baking, gardening, riding herhorses, thinking about going to the gym, andwriting.

Michael ShepherdFirst Place, Mystery/Suspense/IntrigueEasy Street

A recently retired Air Force member,Michael Shepherd’s writing has appeared innumerous military magazines and newpapers.He also authored a weekly column andfeature articles for a local newspaper. He iscurrently applying the finishing touches totwo novels, a mystery and a western.

Cristin BruggemanFirst Place, Historical FictionThe Heir of Artashad

Cristin Bruggeman studied writing at theUniversity of the Nations, graduating with aB.A. in Communication Arts and Media. Inthe past seven years she visited more thantwo dozen countries on five continents, andnow resides in Kona, Hawaii, with herhusband and two young daughters.

Carrie SeidelSecond Place, ScienceFiction/Fantasy/HorrorGhostscape Park

Carrie Seidel is thrilled the PPW writingcontest affirmed that she’s not just akeyboard-pecking, pajama-wearing nut case

with a rat on her shoulder overseeing eachnovel. Thank God not only does her husbandsupport her dream job, but the voices in herhead simply won’t shut up.

Deb Gengler-DunnSecond Place, Mystery/Suspense/IntrigueComing on Night

A New York to Colorado transplant, DebGengler-Dunn was teaching college writingand research when a near fatal rollovertwisted her Nissan, straightened her priorities,and smacked her with an idea for aparanormal mystery/suspense. Deb has aPhD in the same field as her shadow-sightedvisual-behavioral analyst protagonist.

Laura BurdetteSecond Place, RomanceFamily Business

Laura Burdette lives in Missouri with twodaughters, a tolerant husband, a paint pony, aHavanese, and an unnamed barn cat. Unlikeher protagonist, Laura wasn’t fired from thefamily business, but she did marry thecompany’s manager; and, once, gun drawnlike James Bond, they foiled a robbery.

Michelle WhiteFirst Place, RomancePrickly Pair

As a mom to two boys and a newlyadopted daughter from Ethiopia, MichelleWhite can’t find the time to check her e-mail,let alone write. She’s hoping that winning thiscontest will motivate her to crawl out of bedan hour earlier each morning and get writingagain. Starting tomorrow.

Abigail WenSecond Place, Young AdultAmbassador

Since Abigail Wen’s journal-keeping days asa little girl, no day has felt complete until she’sput pen to paper. Her young adult novelAmbassador is strongly influenced by hertravels (21 countries and counting) as well asby her studies in international relations andwork in the U.S. government.

Pikes Peak Writer 7

Meet the Winners

8 Pikes Peak Writer

By Bonnie M. Hagan

Anticipating a stellar workshop, thePPW members buzzed around thehotel meeting room sipping the

nectar of coffee and nibbling on crois-sants. I nudged my laptop awake andleaned back, ready to be bored.

Story openings. Done that. I’d readbooks about openings. Worked with mycritique group on openings. Gone toconference and listened to other peopleread their openings, and of course, I’dread my own, too. I chewed a muffin andwaited for the old familiar words I’d hearda thousand times.

When will I ever learn? Within minutesof the PPW Spring Workshop starting, Iwas bent over my keyboard feverishly tryingto get every tip, trick, note, and lesson into aWord document. This stuff was gold.

Michelle Major, Annie MacFarlane, andLana Williams taught this light-speed coursewith an effortless ease that was more dancethan lecture, one instructor stepping in just asanother stepped back.

Michelle started off with a word aboutcircadian rhythms. Your peak creative time islikely the eight (or fewer) hours diametricallyopposite the hours you spend sleeping. Anniespoke about The Writer’s Journey by ChrisVogler which started her thinking about storystructure and tracking her own journey. Lanadiscussed the necessity of having an immediatehook, and from there the trio launched into anactivity designed to reveal your character’s trueself. This was the meatiest work on characteri-zation I’d done in a long time. All thirty-eightparticipants began exploring their character’sdesire, tragic flaw, protective belief, fear, falsefront, need, and finally, true self. Each of thesetraits dovetails into the next and creates thecore of your character as well as a devel-opment path for growth. This exercisesurpassed many other characterizationtechniques I’ve heard which inevitably beginwith the disappointing, “Describe how yourcharacter looks physically.”

Not everything at the workshop was newto me. Some of the solid rocks of writingwere also brought up, such as knowing yourbackstory and communicating it, not by infor-mation dump, but by carefully layering itthroughout the opening chapters. Theinstructors talked about setting up your logline and beginning your story with the incitingincident. All of which are tips I’d picked uplong ago, but what was impressive was thatLana, Michelle, and Annie didn’t dwell onthese classic nuggets but instead touched onthem as essential points and kept theworkshop trucking right along to morecomples and fascinating tools.

After a break, we started working on thosecrucial first 120 words. This segment took theworkshop over the top. I never realized the“opening” could be viewed not as a chapteror a few pages or even the first page, but thefirst couple paragraphs—120 words to beexact. Lana, Michelle, and Annie gaveexamples of openings from fantastic novelsthat were unforgettable, and through thisprocess I realized that I’d only just begun toget the right elements, the right words, andthe right polish into my manuscript openings.

This workshop introduced the concept thatan opening has to do a much bigger job thansimply start with an exciting piece of action.The opening must build reader empathy. This

can be accomplishedby making the readerbecome the hero on apsychological level.Our instructorspresented us with alist of devices forintroducing the hero,stating that a strongopening uses at leasttwo of these devices.They include: creatingsympathy for the hero,putting the hero injeopardy, making thehero likable, makingthe reader laugh,making the hero

powerful, and giving the hero strong ethicsand honor.

For the closing segment, many participantsshared the first 120 words of theirmanuscripts and solicited feedback fromMichelle, Annie, and Lana. It amazed me howmuch story can be conveyed in such a smallnumber of words. Do you doubt that anopening can really convey so much and hooka reader that quickly? Go back and read thefirst 120 words of this article. It wasconstructed from the very principles I learnedat the workshop, and hey, if you’re stillreading, then the hook worked.

Opening Your Story with Power

Every character has a:surface desiretragic flawprotective beliefdeep fearfalse frontultimate needtrue self

Annie MacFarlane, Michelle Major, and Lana Williams taught this light-

speed course with an effortless ease that was more dance than lecture,

one instructor stepping in just as another stepped back.

Mark Your Calenders2011 Pikes Peak Writers Conference: April 29 - May 1

By Becky Clark

ProofreadingRaise your hand if you think proofreading

is a dying art.

ACTUAL HEADLINES …• Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife

and Daughter … that is one talentedmurderer.

• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,Expert Says … good thing they called in anexpert.

• Police Begin Campaign to Run DownJaywalkers … that’ll stop ‘em.

• Panda Mating Fails; VeterinarianTakes Over … very noble of him.

• Juvenile Court to Try ShootingDefendant … well, if Scared Straight doesn’twork, then they are just about out of options.

• War Dims Hope for Peace … suchNegative Nellies.

• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It MayLast Awhile … yes, I think that might becorrect.

• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures… those crazy global warming nutjobs are atit again.

• Enfield (London) Couple Slain; PoliceSuspect Homicide … or was it ColonelMustard?

• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges …must be some kind of Super Duct Tape—and it comes in designer colors. Sweet!

• New Study of Obesity Looks forLarger Test Group … weren’t they fatenough?

• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas inSpacecraft … if he dealt it, then he should!

• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks … dothey taste like chicken?

• Local High School Dropouts Cut inHalf … they are strict there!

• Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors… because the ceilings were too low?

• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;Hundreds Dead … Wait. What?

http://beckyland.wordpress.comI’m Just Sayin—come visit me in BeckyLand. Bringyour own coffee.

BeckyLand

By Ellen Phillips

It was just over a year ago that I had afateful conversation with Pikes PeakWriters President, Ron Heimbecher.

Sitting at the bar at the Colorado SpringsMarriott, enjoying a night of socializing aftertwo whirlwind days at my first Pikes PeakWriters Conference and feeling triumphantfrom my first successful pitch with a NewYork agent, I decided I wanted more.Bounding over to our unsuspecting leader, Iboldly announced that I wanted to work myway up in the organization and asked if therewere any opportunities for volunteering inwhich I could get involved.

Well, needless to say, that was just thebeginning. Over the last year, I have beeninvolved with PPW as the Non-ConferenceEvents Coordinator—scary title, right?

Actually, it has been a lot of fun. Althoughthere are many ways to volunteer within ourorganization, my role involved working at theWrite Brain seminars each month and theannual American Icon competition. Iprepared the paperwork, helped with the set-up prior to the event, and followed up on anyloose ends the next day. This, I found, was agreat starting point for someone new to theorganization as it offered me the chance tomeet every single person who walked throughour doors. After my very first event, I hadmet a wonderful group of new friends andmade contact with great writers, many ofwhom boast long and successful resumes. Ina matter of months, I was able to catapultmyself from being a nameless face in thecrowd to becoming a person that otherwriters rely on to meet their needs andanswer their questions—not that I always hadan answer, but I could always smile and domy best to help. The give-and-take has been

beyond my expectations.That seems to be the bottom line with this

organization: writers helping writers. If youhave just returned from conference andfound yourself feeling as though you were a“nameless face in the crowd,” perhaps volun-teering is for you. Our volunteer coordinator,Christian Lyons, currently has several openpositions and is actively looking for newwriters to fill those roles. If you are longingto get out there and get involved, this is agreat time to speak up!

Oh, and did I mention the other perks ofvolunteering within Pikes Peak Writers?Some may find that connecting with people isthe biggest benefit of volunteering, but thereis much more waiting for you than justmaking some new friends. Working togetherwith other writers can offer a world of insightinto this industry. As a PPW volunteer, youmay also find the opportunity to have face-to-face meetings with industry professionals, orthe first pick at coveted appointments as alittle thank you for your time and effort.How awesome is that?

For me, volunteering is a little morepersonal. I love this organization and I don’twant to see it fail. Without volunteersworking diligently behind the scenes, there isreally no way for it to survive and grow. Ifyou feel the passion to get involved, acceptthis as your invitation to speak up and pickyour position within the best writing organi-zation in the country. It’s right here waitingfor you!

Volunteer Honors at PPWC

One Volunteer’s Story

Pikes Peak Writer 9

Awards presented to conference and Pikes Peak Writers staff include (from left to right):

Laura Hayden, Lifetime Achievement Award, Susan Mitchell, PPWC Volunteer of the Year,

Bonnie Hagan, PPW Volunteer of the Year, and Martha Lancaster, The Martha Award.

May Open MeetingSaturday, May 22, 1-4 p.m.

Bonnie Ramthun will be presenting herworkshop, Dismembering the Best-Seller,from 1 to 3 p.m., and a social hour willfollow.

Bring friends and family along, whetherthey are PPW members or not. This event is100% free and 100% open to the public.

Dismembering the BestsellerHow do best selling novelists construct

their stories? Discover how a bestselling novelis put together by taking it apart. Bestsellerssuch as The Silence of the Lambs and TheDaVinci Code will be dismembered and theirsecrets revealed. You will learn how to criti-cally examine novels and understand thestrategies that are common to bestsellers, andhow to use their strategies in your ownwriting to create a more powerful novel.Fast-paced, humorous and informative, thisworkshop will give you some delightfullysharp instruments for your writer’s toolbox.

Bonnie Ramthun lives in Erie, Coloradowith her husband Bill,and their four children.In Bonnie’s first threenovels, Colorado Springshomicide detective EileenReed and her handsomepartner Joe Tanner, a wargamer, solve murders andsave the world in Ground

Zero, Earthquake Games and The ThirteenthSkull. Earthquake Games was a finalist forColorado Book of the Year in 2000. Her newnovel, The White Gates, is a middle grademystery introducing Torin Sinclair, a youngsnowboarder who must discover the modernsecret behind an ancient curse (RandomHouse). The White Gates was named a JuniorLibrary Guild Premiere selection for 2008.Visit Bonnie’s Web site at www.bonnier-amthun.com.

June Write Brain

Physical Fitness for FlabbyFictionTuesday, June 15, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

In June’s Write Brain we’ll join authorLinda Berry as she shows us how to energizeour prose. We’ll eliminate sloppy andredundant language, develop weight-bearingmetaphors and strong similes, improveoverall tone, and pack power into everyword. (Muscle takes up less space than fat,after all, and carries more weight.) Usingguidelines in the handout, “Flee FlabbyFormulations,” we’ll edit and improve asample of really bad writing.

Linda Berry’s firstpublished fiction was achildren’s story in aSunday school handoutmagazine, for whichshe was paid a halfcent per word. Sincethen she’s publishedmore short fiction for

children and adults, plays, poetry, preschoolcurricula, craft articles, a newspaper enter-tainment column, and six Trudy RoundtreeMysteries. She’s a member of ColoradoDramatists, the Denver Woman’s Press Club,Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers, and Sistersin Crime. She lives in Aurora with herhusband, Jerry, and describes herself as anarts activist who tries to organize her lifearound theatre tickets. Check her Web site atwww.ogeechee.avigne.org (or google her).

Nonmembers may attend one WriteBrain session for free. Subsequent sessionsare $10.

Write Brain Sessions are held atCottonwood Center for the Arts, 427 E.Colorado Avenue, Studio A. Visitor’sparking is in the large lot on the east sideof the Cottonwood building. For moreinformation and a map, go towww.pikespeakwriters.com.

If you would like to participate in anyWrite Brain session, PLEASE RSVP ANDINCLUDE YOUR DAYTIME CONTACTINFORMATION. This does not commit youto attending, but enables us to prepareenough materials for expected attendees, andimportantly, it gives us a way to contact you if

we have an emergency change to the WriteBrain session, such as a postponement due toweather. We will make every attempt to postchanges to the PPW Yahoo loop and ourWeb site, but to be ensured of notificationyou must RSVP torsvp@pikespeakwriters.com.

PPW Members Night Monday, May 24 and June 27 at 6:30 p.m.(Fourth Monday of month)Location: Poor Richards Bookstore320 N. Tejon, Colorado Springs

Come and hang out with other writers andbring friends interested in PPW. We eat, wedrink, and we talk about the writing life.

Open Critique Returns!After a brief hiatus, Pikes Peak Writers

Open Critique is back.Free to PPW members, Open Critique is a

monthly forum which offers writers theopportunity to have several pages of theirwork critiqued by a guest critiquer. Typicallythe guest is a published author, or someonewith extensive experience with critiquing andcritique groups.

This is a great way to gain valuable insightinto what works and how you can improveyour craft. You also get to meet your peers inPikes Peak Writers, and learn critique groupetiquette. Writers bring several pages of theirwork, which is read by the entire group, andthen the month’s guest responds. This is asafe environment, where the focus is on craftas opposed to personality, and most partici-pants find the process beneficial.

If you don’t currently have a workshop orcritique group, prep some pages and join us.Though spots for critiques will be limitedeach month due to time constraints, anyonecan sit in and listen, so join us even if you arenot ready for a critique.

PPW thanks members Laura Pellerin andLaura Harvey for all their hard work growingthis program, and is pleased to welcome DebCourtney as your new host. Check the PikesPeak Writers Web site (http://pikespeak-writers.com/open-critique) for the scheduleand new location.

Upcoming PPW EventsMay, June

10 Pikes Peak Writer

Do Tell!We want to hear your Conference

Kudos! If you have something wonderfulto share about one of our faculty or staff,or even a fellow attendee, please send it toeditor@pikespeakwriters.com. We’ll besharing the cream of the crop inupcoming NewsMag issues.

Rod Summitt’s fourth novel, Return toParadise, will be released in June of this yearby Multi-Media Publications (Crystal DreamsDivision). And his fifth, New Beginnings, isscheduled for early to mid-2011. Check outRod’s previous novels: www.rodsummitt.com.

Jamie Lisa Forbes’ debut novel of familyranching, Unbroken, was accepted for publi-cation in December by Pronghorn Press. Itwill be released in May of 2010, and Jamiewill embark on her two-month book tourthrough Wyoming and Colorado in June. VisitJamie’s Web site, www.jamielisaforbes.com foradditional information.

Beth Groundwater received a welcomephone call from Lori Consentino of theColorado Romance Writers, informing herthat her mystery, To Hell in a Handbasket, is afinalist in the “Mainstream with RomanticElements” category of the ColoradoRomance Writers’ Award of Excellence

Contest. To see the full list of finalist titles inall the categories, go to: http://coloradoromancewriters.org/aoe/aoe-finalist2010.htmlFor more about Beth, visithttp://bethgroundwater.com/.

Karen Albright Lin’ s Mu Shu Mac-N-Cheese has just gone to the quarterfinals inAmazon.com’s ABNA contest. She willreceive a Publishers Weekly review, and canreceive reviews of her excerpt from readerson Amazon. If you’d like to add your (rave)review, contact Karen for instructions:karenalin@comcast.net. Learn more aboutKaren at http://www.karenalbrightlin.com.

SweetSuccess

By Brandy Vallance

“Technology hates me,” Marc MacYoungsaid as he slammed down the lid to his virusinfected laptop. “Die, Vista! Die!” As thecolors on the projector screen faded intowhite, Marc abandoned his slide presentationto tell us about time-tested conflict patterns,and how we could use them in our writing.Marc would know. He’s a leading expert onhow to survive high-risk situations, andteaches personal defensive strategies tomilitary and law enforcement personnel,among others. Marc opened by telling us,“Every night you go to bed with a human, amonkey, and a lizard. The human brain is thelogical side of you, the monkey brain is theemotion, and the lizard brain is pure survival.All three follow a script, and, as a writer, youhave to know the scripts.” He went on to saythat during violence, all three parts arefighting to “drive the bus,” meaning that eachwants control over the situation.

We spent the majority of the timediscussing the monkey brain, since it’s theinstigator. Marc said the monkey brainequates social violence to physical death andused gang violence as an example. Gangmembers are often so afraid of humiliationthat they’ll kill someone over simple disre-spect. Meanwhile, the lizard brain is usuallyshouting, “Run!” and the human brain is justtrying to figure it all out.

To illustrate how the monkey brain works,Marc called up an older gentleman and askedhim to stand at the front of the room. Marcwalked about seven feet away and proceededto cuss him out and make threateninggestures. “Did you feel threatened?” Marcasked when he was done.

“No,” the man answered. “You wereposturing.”

“Don’t write about theaction itself; write aboutthe emotion behind it.”

Marc smiled. “I was doing a threatdisplay,” he explained. “Most people arelooking for a way out of violence.” “Writingabout real violence is boring,” Marc said. Inreal life, “it happens so fast that you don’tremember it.” A person’s first encounter withviolence is particularly overwhelming, and helikens it to a room full of TVs. “Whensomebody’s trying to kill you, all the TVscome on at once. The 70th time somebodytries to kill you, they all come on but you’velearned how to focus on just a few or one.The reason people freeze during violence isthat all three brains scream, ‘I’m in charge!’”

When you’re writing an action or violencescene, remember that ninety-nine percent of

it is in the buildup. “Very few people can gofrom zero to one hundred with violence.”Marc said. Don’t write about the action itself;write about the emotion behind it.

When you’re writing your antagonist, don’tmake him a “mustache twirler.” To bebelievable, Marc said, “Your bad guy has to dosomething he thinks is right and justifiable.”

As for our heroes, Marc told us to identifyour hero’s “monkey trap”: What is the onething that would make your character say, “Ican’t walk away”? If you can figure that out,you’ve got a conflict, and if you’ve got aconflict, then you’ve got a story. But becareful, because “if you break the (natural)patterns of conflict, people won’t tolerate it.”

Marc told a story about a movie directorwho was approached by someone who’dnoticed that the wallpaper on the set hadbeen hung upside down. The director replied,“If people are looking at the wallpaper,there’s something wrong with the movie.” It’sthe same with writing action scenes orviolence, Marc said. “Nobody’s going tonotice when you do it right.”

Pikes Peak Writer 11

March Write Brain: Writing Better Action Scenes

Marc MacYoung’s Six Things That WillHappen When Someone Tries to Kill You:1. You die.2. You spend a long time in the hospital.3. You run away. (It’s hard to get raped,robbed, or murdered when you’re notthere.) 4. You shoot back.5. Somebody else shoots back.6. In the rarest case, the attacker snaps outof their state of mind and the attack stops.

PIKES PEAK WRITERS 427 E. COLORADO AVE. #116COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80903

By Fleur Bradley

After PPWC ended on Sunday, oneroom was buzzing with tired but eagerpeople, all looking forward to what

agent Donald Maass, author of The Fire inFiction, had to say. Some attendees had pitchedand gotten manuscript requests during theconference, and were now wondering: Is mymanuscript really the best it can be?

Donald Maass got his workshop startedquickly, challenging us to look at our openingpages. Does the protagonist demonstratestrength, humanity or hope right away? Heexplained that no matter the type of fictionyou’re writing, it’s important to find a way forreaders to connect to the lead character earlyon—in the first five pages, or earlier ifpossible. Maass challenged us to mine ourown experiences, and look at people weadmire for examples of desirable traits in aprotagonist. “Make your character human andreal right away,” he said.

“The things that arehardest to do in your edits

are the things you need to do most.”

Next, Maass had us work on ways to addinner conflict by making the protagonist’squest as difficult as possible. “How can your

character give up for good?” he asked,challenging us to build our stories to amoment where the protagonist could logicallysurrender. Maass then had us explore extremeways for our characters to throw in the towel.“Inner conflict makes characters morememorable,” he said. “Take your character allthe way out there and let it be.”

“Who’s the big bad guy?” Maass askednext, sharing some stories about thecardboard villains his agency sees a lot inmanuscript submissions. He then explainedthe importance of developing the antagonist,and making sure he or she is as three-dimen-sional as possible. Maass suggested we look atour stories from the antagonist’s perspective,and connect the bad guy to the protagonist innew ways. “Find a reason your antagonistwants to know your protagonist,” he said. Asan exercise, we all wrote down some stereo-types related to our antagonists, and foundways to go against these predictable qualities.“Find a way your antagonist can be sympa-thetic,” Maass suggested. He added that often-times, the antagonist doesn’t appear active inthe story. He suggested we find four new waysfor the protagonist and antagonist to crosspaths, to add conflict and depth to the story.

During the last segment of the workshop,we looked at scenes in our manuscripts thatdidn’t really work, to deconstruct them withMaass’ help. He asked us to look at thepurpose of each scene, and how it haschanged the story or protagonist. “Mark thismoment with more definition,” he said ofthis changing point. Then he gave us severalminutes to rewrite the scenes. Maass

suggested that we step away from the wordswe already wrote, and instead try to recreatewhat happened with new writing.

Even though the workshop lasted morethan four hours, time seemed to fly as weexplored exciting new ways to bring ourmanuscripts to life. “Are you going to usewhat you came up with?” Donald Maassasked us with a smile. Throughout the room,weary but excited writers nodded—we allknew we would be dissecting our manuscriptsbased on what we’d just learned. He urged usto press on when we feel resistant to changes,or when we feel reluctance over thechallenges the protagonist is up against withplot changes we make. “Why do we do this?"he asked. “Because we’re storytellers.”

As Donald Maass said more than onceduring his great workshop, “The things thatare hardest to do in your edits are the thingsyou need to do most.”

12 Pikes Peak Writer

The Fire in Fiction Workshop