the alchemist weekly july 5th, 2011

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A L S O"These are my 4 spirits"

by Sarah Sullivan p. 4

Alchy Picks p. 8

The former city manager on success and failure

Nelson answers the questions from a creative community

by Courtney Clenney p. 6

Jon Nelson gets the Third Degree p. 12

2 • JULY 5, 2011 • WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM

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The Alchemist Weekly welcomescoherent freelance submissions.

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Albany ● Corvallis ● Lebanon ● PhilomathVOLUME 4 NUMBER 183:52 ● JULY 5, 2011

The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily

represent the thoughts, views, or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC.

V O I C E Opinions and Editorials, be they ours

or yours, this is where they be.

2 | Your letters

W O R D Journalists call them features;

we say it’s the word.

4 | These are my 4 spirits6 | Former city manager on suc-cess and failure

B U M P It’s the calendar of all things Albany, Corvallis, Lebanon, and Philomath.

8 | Alchy Picks

F U N B I T S As if your smart phone wasn’t distracting enough.

11 | Crossword and Sudoku 12 | Third Degree13 | Weekly Horoscope

L I T E R AT I This is the home for local fiction, poetry and

prose.

14 | Detective Siempre

Editorial Editor: Courtney Clenney Staff Writers: Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor: Noah StroupContributors: T. Clarence, Compere, Jimbo Ivy, Sarah Sullivan

art Art Tag Team: Ney Ney/So Stro Layout Tag Team Coco/Nono Cover photo by Courtney Clenney

advErtising Director of Marketing Stanley Tollett Account Executive Noah Stroup

BusinEss Publisher Noah StroupThe Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339 541.224.6873

alchEmist mission As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Al-bany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis/Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves.

*The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are wel-come to take enough copies for your family.PrEvious issuEs: Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist Weekly.

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

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MERLIN’S BAR AND GRILLMERLIN’S BAR AND GRILL25 W Sherman St • Lebanon, OR

Hip PocketJuly 8th & 9th

9:00 pm

Hip PocketJuly 8th & 9th

9:00 pm

Blues JamSunday

6:00 pm - 10:00 pm

Blues JamSunday

6:00 pm - 10:00 pm

Steak NightThursday

5:00 - 9:00 pm

Steak NightThursday

5:00 - 9:00 pm

KaraokeWeeknightsKaraokeWeeknights

www.merlinsbarandgrill.comwww.merlinsbarandgrill.com

Celebrating 9 years!Celebrating 9 years!

WHAT IT IS ABOUT CORVALLISI've lived here for a year now and think

I have finally figured out what it is about Corvallis. You can walk around with your heart chakra open and not get slammed. And you pass people on the sidewalk doing the same thing. I've lived in many places in this world and this is the only place I've seen where you can do it. I love this town. I don't own a car and it's also very bike and pedestrian friendly.

-Cynthia

SOUPLESSONSSoupCycle is a Portland/Corvallis small

business that delivers homemade soup, salads, and bread to subscribers (we call them Soup-Scribers) at your homes or offices. Jed Lazar, SoupCycle owner and one of the 5 Portland delivery people, shares some observations about life on the road as a SoupCyclist.

SoupCycle has made 35,526 bicycle soup deliveries to 546 Souptarians in Portland and Corvallis. Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned delivering soup by bicycle to our customers:

Lesson #1) Have a repertoire of soupy puns on hand at all times. Because what would a customer rather buy-- “three bean soup” or “Won’t You Bean My Neighbor”? Would your customers rather live in the “SoupCycle delivery area” or “The Kingdom of Souplandistan”?

Lesson #2) Pulling a soup trailer as big

as ours are, be prepared for kids to point and stare.

Lesson #3) Pulling a soup trailer this big, be prepared for adults to point and stare—but that’s OK. Hopefully, it will be memo-rable enough that they will remember to check out our website (www.soupcycle.com) when they get home.

Lesson #4) Many of Portland’s homeless ride bikes with trailers. Before we had big signs on our trailers, I was mistaken for a homeless person—a driver pulled up next to me, rolled down the window, and offered me his bottles to recycle. I politely declined and offered him some tasty organic soup instead.

Lesson #5) People in Portland and Cor-vallis react one way when you tell them about SoupCycle; people from other places react another way. People from Corvallis/Portland will say “Great idea! What’s the website?” People from outside our cities will nod, wonder how to respond for a few seconds, and then ask “So, what’s your other job?”

Lesson #6) Own good rain gear.Lesson #7) Own good snow gear. We

deliver every week of the year, by bike.Lesson #8) You can trust Oregonians.

There’s no way to lock our trailer with soup coolers. We leave the trailer unattended and unlocked every time we deliver to a build-ing downtown. In the nearly 4 years we’ve been in business, no one has ever opened up the trailer or taken any soup.

Lesson #9) Customers won’t always tell

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

The Alchemist Weekly red pen challenge strikes again! This one was Reader submitted so it counts

for your team! But can you find our mistakes?

TAW- 4 | READERS- 1

you when you’re doing something wrong, but they’ll always tell you when you’re do-ing something right. One of our customers who is a vegetarian and works at the Or-egon Zoo told me that if she found out our salad dressing was made of baby seal oil, she’d still eat it.

www.thealche-mistweekly.comwww.thealche-

mistweekly.com

Lesson #10) If you want to start a suc-cessful company, start one that makes it easy for people to feel good about the choices they make.

-Kim Thackray, Corvallis manager of Soup-Cycle


WORD

“These are my 4 Spirits”words and photos by Sarah Sullivan


WORD

There are some new spirits stir-ring in the old camp adair air Force station buildings. 4 spir-

its to be exact, in the form a distillery, the dream of iraq War veteran, dawson offi-cer. The building, the distillery, and daw-son himself speak to their purpose with-out the need of words: in remembrance and in honor of those who have died and those who are still fighting for our coun-try. When you enter 4 sprits distillery through the fenced military compound gates, the architecture of the buildings and the barbed wire immediately remind you of discipline and the training that took place at camp adair during World War ii and after when it became adair air Force station until it was closed in 1969.

Coming around the back end of the lot though, you can start to faintly hear Louie, Louie playing on a radio and the door to the smaller of the two buildings thrown wide. Before even entering the building, I can picture soldiers playing cards and listening to the radio in their down time.

The building is marked with a single sign, a silhouette of four soldiers in current mili-tary gear, guns in hand, the words, “4 Spirits Distillery” across them like a banner. In-side the door is the tasting area, with tables made from reclaimed cedar planks collected by Dawson and his brother, topped with

molded concrete that you would swear was marble upon first inspection. The walls are hung with a mixture of historic photo-graphs from Camp Adair during World War II, photographs from Daw-son’s own tour of duty, as well as his platoon and company.

The back half of the large room houses the equipment used to make 4 Spirits Distillery’s first alcoholic venture: Slaptail and Webfoot martini-grade vodka.

After finishing his work, Dawson joined me back at the tasting area and I asked him the question that anybody asks themselves about first hearing the name, “4 Spirits Distillery”.

“So what’s the story be-hind the name?”

“Well, I served in Iraq in the Oregon National Guard 2nd Battalion, 162 Infantry Brigade and in 2004, I fought with these four remarkable combat soldiers who lost their lives in service to their country. Those are my four spirits. I keep their faces and their names sacred because they are personal. Someone else might have four different spirits that they’ve lost and want to remember. The important thing is to

honor and remember them.”Coming from a cultural background

where alcohol, death and remembrance go hand in hand, I understood the desire and the importance of drinking in someone’s memory. I asked him how he had come to the idea of a starting a distillery to honor them.

“Before I started this business, I ap-proached my platoon members because I thought that some might look down on this, by saying, ‘gosh you’re profiting off your friends, dead soldiers’ and surprisingly that was just what I was thinking, because every one of my military friends, my platoon, and my company didn’t even think about that. They thought this was an awesome way to honor them. I took the image to them for approval and everyone knows what it is and they gave me their blessing. I knew that as long as the people I cared about, the people who knew the four spirits were ok with it, then I didn’t really care what the naysayers said about it.”

Making the leap from an excellent idea to a physical business was still quite a jour-ney, especially with the wobbly economy and the fail rate of small businesses. I asked him what planning went into making this distillery his job.

“This business came from a combination

of always wanting to be an entrepreneur and not wanting to have the run-of-the-mill 8 to 5 job. I was waiting for the perfect time to start and I had always thought, ‘what can I do that would be a good business and allow me not to struggle?’ I kept thinking and thinking…I was probably thinking while I was drinking whiskey, and the idea just formed. I always wanted to do a cider house, like Two Towns, and that morphed into, ‘Why would I do cider? I drink whis-key.’ So I started researching how to start a distillery. I read books, asked questions and then I talked it over with the family. I told my wife ‘if we’re going to do this, I’m go-ing to go all the way and I’m not going to stop until I get there.’ She was so supportive and told me it sounded good if that’s what I wanted to do. So a year later, I made March 31st was my last day at a regular job and I started up 4 Spirits Distillery.”

Staring around at the open room and the machinery lining the back wall, I asked him what had made him want to make vodka. His answer was somewhat unexpected.

“I love whiskey. It’s what I drink. I have done whiskey tastings and figured out which whiskies are better than others. I decided that I wanted to make alcohols that I drink. The other part of my think-ing was the business side. My forte was in the process of creating a business, that’s what my degree is in and with my experience in econom-ics and finances, I felt I had everything I needed to have, in that regard, down. But everyone starts out with vodka. The reason for that is because you don’t have to age it. You can actual-ly easily create it, create your own flavor profile and put your own spin on it. In my case, I cre-ated Webfoot and Slap-tail. Next will be rum, and whiskey will be last. My goal is to create a whiskey as close as I can to Jameson.

Needless to say, that statement made this Irish girl’s ears perk up.

“That’s down the road though. I started with vodka, and rum will be next. Probably in the next couple of months. We have to work out the trends and really so-lidify our current status, but in the meantime I’d like to get the molas-ses and fermentation process going, find the right yeast, and start the process. I’m still not ful-ly decided on just what kind of rum I want to make.”

With alcohol be-ing such a huge part of the Northwest and the

prevalence of local breweries, wineries, and cider houses, I had to ask Dawson what made 4 Spirits so special.

“The way we’ve been marketing ourselves so far is ‘not your classical type of alcohol.’ Image wise, we don’t have a beautiful star on our labels. They are hand drawn by an artist and that’s what makes them cool. They’re kind of raw in form and comedic, colorful. It’s supposed to be funny. One of my first decisions was to come up with the names and the image I wanted. Most other alcohols are just generic or have the same classic-feel with the clean lines of their la-bels and I didn’t want that. I wanted some-thing that was fun and a little artsy, and hu-morous. That was the big thing.”

The label alone is enough to make me, a Kansas-transplant Beaver fan want to pick up a bottle of Slaptail, but how’s the taste?

“It’s a premium, martini-grade vodka. It’s very good. I’m starting to feel very confi-dent in saying that because of all the com-ments we’ve been getting from the people who have tasted it. We did blind taste-testing and 11 out of 13 chose my vodka over others. Even over some of the more expensive vodkas. Some people describe it as smooth, not a lot of nose, and no rubbing alcohol taste. Some people call it complex and layered.”

continued on p. 7


WORD

Jon nelson, former (as of recent) corvallis city manager, reads The alchemist Weekly. i repeat,

he reads thE alchEmist! i like him already. okay, maybe he’s “surfed in it.”

Nelson was visibly at ease when I met with him last Tuesday, his demeanor gave it away, but if it hadn’t, the gold beads dis-playing miniature traffic signs with phrases like “STOP working,” definitely would have. The beads were a gift from some of his employees during their last weekly meeting. “They gave me a bad time today,” Nelson kidded. June 30, 2011 marked the end of Nelson’s 18-year-stint as Corvallis’ city manager, where, for the most part, the community has held his managerial skills in high regard. As Corvallis city manager,

Nelson has been responsible for Corvallis’ eight departments: police, fire, parks and recreation, library, community development, public works, finance, and administration; they are comprised of a network of over 400 employees. It has been Nelson’s responsibil-ity to see that the visions and goals of the elected council members and mayor see the light of day. This organization of folks has brought Nelson the most pride in his career, “I really think I lead a team of professional employees that are very talented and very dedicated and when you have that as your base, good things can happen,” he said.

Undoubtedly, when it comes to city gov-ernment, its administrators are going to know disappointment. “You often times learn more from failures than you do from successes. I’ve had my share of failures.

employer retirement system, I get benefits for a deferred compensation package, I get benefits for a retiree health savings account, those are pretty standard benefits provided to city managers,” he said. Most of the de-tails of his contract were negotiated “years ago.” Nelson said there were no substantial changes and reminded that the details of his contract aren’t a secret. “In some instances like a retiree health savings account or a de-ferred compensation package I would nego-tiate, in lieu of salary, an extra five-hundred or a thousand dollars into those accounts, but that’s all pretty standard.” Furthermore, Nelson declined (as he did last year) a cost of living increase as well as a performance pay increase, noting the severity of the bud-get.

Nelson has been praised for his under-the-radar sort of way of running the city. However, on the flip side can Nelson be criticized at all for his low-key tactics, would the city benefit from a stronger personality? He actually feels that he does show leader-ship, even if it’s not overtly obvious. “A lot of times the people that want leadership are the ones that aren’t getting what they want and they want someone to step in and do it for them, and I’ll never be their leader, and that’s just okay with me. Leadership is in the eye of the beholder based on, some-times, what have you done for me lately,” Nelson said.

As the council looks for a replacement for Nelson, it might make sense for him to weigh in on the sort of personality to succeed him, because, well, he's done the job for almost two decades, but Nelson won't do it. “You know, I think it would be presumptuous of me to encourage a certain type of profile to come and work for the city. The city council has worked with a professional recruitment firm to establish the profile for my succes-sor and they will interview in July or August, candidates for the job," he said. "Whatever they come up with, they have that respon-sibility and right to determine that style of the next councilor. Certainly there are differ-ent styles that can work in a community and mine has been one of a facilitator and we’ll see who they gravitate towards.”

He’s looking forward to vacationing and traveling for the remainder of the year and while he doesn’t know what’s on the table after that, Nelson has no intentions of get-ting involved in city government after re-tirement. There will probably be some golf-ing and fly-fishing in the future for Mr. Nelson, though. He’s spent almost 20 years in the public-eye and finding something shocking out about Nelson could be diffi-cult. “What you see is what you get. I don’t have and deep, dark, fun, or not even dark, I don’t have any deep, dark, light or other-wise, surprises. Sorry!” Nelson remarked. However, that won’t keep us from trying—flip over to page 12 for the Third Degree with Jon Nelson.

We’ve had several measures that have been defeated by the voters,” Nelson recalls. One in particular was for the purchase of park land in order to preserve open space in and around Corvallis, the measure failed the first time, but after learning more about the project and the importance of it to the community, the measure eventually passed. Nelson has the same try and try again at-titude when it comes to the current budget deficit the city is facing. While the oper-ating levy the community just passed will help a great deal, Nelson laments budget is-sues are a “fact of life,” especially in Oregon. He’s been in the state since 1984 and recalls budget problems in the early 90s as well as the early 2000s. “It’s a cycle that repeats it-self in this state and it will just mean elected officials, employees and citizens will have to learn either to live without some services or accept new funding arrangements to con-tinue their services,” Nelson said.

Part of the responsibility of being higher up on the food chain of city officials also means maintaining the kind of town Cor-vallis is and should become. As a small town with a large university, there are two (maybe more) distinct beliefs in the direction of our community. “Corvallis is rich in its current state in my opinion because of the variety of stakeholders and perspectives that each put their hopes and ambitions into our commu-nity, so for those that want us to become more like Portland, or more like Bend, there are others that want to make sure that the growth that occurs doesn’t ruin their livabil-ity and it’s the mix of all that that makes us, what I think, a top city to live in,” Nelson said. “And I think that mix will continue, so are we going to disappoint some people who would like to grow faster or like to have richer amenities as they see the world, yes, but it’s the mixture that comes together that makes us what we are, not the single perspective of trying to meet one groups in-terest at the exclusion of all others.”

Perhaps it has been this attitude that has made Nelson such a successful city man-ager, even still questions have arisen about his seemingly sudden retirement. “There’s some creative writers and thinkers out there in the community,” he noted. In November 2010, it was reported in the Gazette-Times that Nelson’s five year contract had been rolled-over, as such Nelson has remained in a five year contract for a decade. Three months later, in February 2011, Nelson an-nounced his retirement. The Gazette-Times ran an accompanying video to their story, in which Nelson said he was in a “magical time” where he had given 30 years of local government service (in three cities) and his youngest was graduating high school, so his retirement seemed appropriate. However, there have been speculations as to the de-tails of his recent contract roll-over. “Cer-tainly the retirement that I get like every other city employee, from PERS, the public

Former city manager on success and failureNelson answers questions from a creative communityby Courtney Clenney

...it’s the mixture that comes together that makes us what we are, not the single perspective of try-

ing to meet one groups interest at the exclusion of all others.~


WORD

I was sold. I asked him where a thirsty vodka-seeker could find a bottle of Slap-tail or Webfoot (if you happen to be a Duck fan). He told me about OregonLi-quorSearch.com where you can enter the site and type in either Webfoot or Slaptail to be taken to a list of liquor stores in the area that stock 4 Spirits’ products. Also in the Corvallis area, you can ask for Slap-tail in your drinks at many of the bars in-cluding; Block 15, Aqua, Crowbar, 101, or Cloud 9 where you can try a Slap Happy, a drink formulated by Mr. Cloud Davidson which uses a healthy amount of Slaptail and will leave anyone happy.

Though 4 Spirits is still in its early stages of business, this had to be too much of an undertaking for just one person. Dawson was quick to correct my assumption of this being a one-man operation, telling me about his marketing guru, Sarah Wayt, who jumped into this venture with him on June 1st.

“I would say the reason we are doing so well and shipping out fifty cases a week is because of her. We are now up to 30 liquor stores carrying our product, within a month. That’s pretty out of the ordinary. Especially with vodkas because it’s such a saturated market, it’s pretty difficult to break into the market. If you don’t have something really good and really special, they’re probably not going to pick it up. But we’ve managed to get in one month to the range of marketing that other businesses like ours would strive for in eight months.”

Marketing is definitely something that 4 Spirits has mastered. Between the high quality taste and the ingenious marketing of Slaptail versus Webfoot, they have found a way to stand out in the cloud of clear bottles of vodka lining the shelves in liquor stores all over Oregon.

“Sarah has just amplified our success. I would have to say that a major part of our success, especially in this first month, is due to Sarah. She’s a very highly motivated per-son, almost beyond belief. We’re in central Oregon and we’ve just continued to grow. We’re at the stage of monitoring growth to insure we have a healthy, stable growth rather than a spike where we can’t keep up with supply and demand.”

Though vodka takes less time than rum and whiskey, it’s still a fairly slow process.

“It takes a little over a week to make a batch, but that’s a seven day week, work-ing every day. I knew it was going to be like this though when I started. People will talk about how the freedom of being a business owner must be great, but the truth is, you actually work more than you would be if you were working for someone else.”

I felt that a good way to end my chat with Dawson was to go back to talking about the whiskey, both because it’s a fascinating topic and it’s a forecast of things to come down the road for 4 Spirits. I asked Dawson if he’d picked a name for the final product.

“I’ve already decided the whiskey will be 4 Spirits whiskey. I’m working on the name and the visual for the rum. The 4 Spirits whiskey will be a complete change over from the leisure side. I already know what it’s going to look like. It will have four sol-diers’ crosses on it; boots, gun, dog tags, and helmet. It’s a very clear and strong image of remembrance for a soldier dying. Rath-er than trying to just bring this to light as something shocking, I’m trying to remind people that soldiers are still fighting and dying and that we need to be mindful of what they’re doing and support our troops. The bottles will be the military green color with four offset soldiers’ crosses. It will be more subdued because it is more serious. Never forget your veterans.”

continued from p. 5


Thursday | July 7th | 5:30 pmThe Arts CenterART IN THE MAKING

If you've ever stared at a work of art and wondered how the artist did it, this event is for you! Artists @ Work is an innovative ex-hibit, held at the Main Gallery in the Arts Center in Corvallis. Usually the gallery fea-tures art created by artists in their own pri-vate studios but for this exhibit, artists are encouraged to use the gallery as their studio and visitors are welcomed in to watch the art creation in motion. This exhibit will be running from July 2nd to July 27th with a Brown Bag talk on Wednesday, July 13th from 12pm to 1pm which will feature art-ists explaining what their goals were in their Artists @ Work creations. A reception will be held for the artists on July 7th from 5:30pm-7:30pm and the public are wel-come to come celebrate with them.

Featured artists will be Gale Everett from Albany, Elaine Green and Julia Lont from Corvallis, and Kendal Hathaway from Phoenix, Arizona. All four artists welcome the chance to talk with the public about their works during the event.

Gale's work is often inspired by plant life, often utilizing organic matter in her mixed media creations. She invites the public to come help her create seedpods and flowers from handmade paper that she will also be creating at the Artists @ Work exhibit.

Elaine works with charcoal and draws much of her inspiration from the human form and life captured in photographs. She will be looking for volunteers to pose for a photograph which she will create from or stay for a longer live drawing.

Julia, an art teacher at the Corvallis High School, utilizes photography in a collage format when she creates, masterfully pair-ing photographs and painting methods to create her goal of sharing memories. Julia welcomes the public to bring their memo-ries and snapshots to inspire her creations, including the 'Laundry Line of Memories' she will be hanging in the trees outside the Art Center Plaza.

The final artist, Kendal Hathaway is a mosaic artist whose greatest influences are drawn from landscape. Her usual works are smaller and are created with hand cut glass tiles, but for this event, she intends to use items from the Corvallis recycling center to create a large work, capturing the beauty of the Willamette Valley landscape. With the diverse styles of art offered by these four women, and their desire to include the community, there is sure to be something for everyone at Artists @ Work!

~Sarah Sulliva

Thursday | July 7th | 5:30 pmMonteith River ParkTHE BLUES RUNS THROUGH IT

The Willamette River will ring this Thursday with the growl and hum of Coco Montoya’s soulful blues as Albany Parks and Recreation’s River Rhythms concert se-ries begins its 2011 season.

Held at the beautiful Monteith Riverpark and sponsored by dozens of community businesses, the free River Rhythms concert series brings a variety of genres and musical styling to Albany every Thursday, conclud-ing on August 11th.

Coco Montoya’s blues and R&B sensibil-ities were mentored by the legendary blues man Albert Collins, whose alchemical fus-ing of the Texas, Chicago and Mississippi blues traditions can still be felt in Mon-toya’s current work. Montoya was awarded “Best New Blues Artist” in 1996 and his latest album “I Want It All Back” was re-leased in 2010.

All River Rhythms shows start at 7:00 pm, unless otherwise noted. The Blanket Area opens at 5:30 pm for those of you that like to get cozy, and no chairs are allowed in the blanket area. Seating is available on a first-come, first-served basis. A Children's Art Area, featuring fun art and craft activi-ties for kids is open from 5:30-7:00 p.m.

No concert is complete without some-thing to snack on, and River Rhythms does not disappoint, featuring area food vendors serving at 5:30 p.m. Alcohol is not permit-ted before 5:30 p.m. on concert days in Monteith Riverpark. Pets are not allowed in the park on concert days.

Come enjoy some great blues music on the river this Thursday, July 7th with Coco Montoya and River Rhythms! ~Jimbo Ivy I guess rodeos have their own version of the rally monkey.

Thursday | July 7th | 9:00 amPhilomath Rodeo GroundsJIMBO SAYS GOODBYE

My poetical career in Corvallis began with The Alchemist Weekly. They were kind enough to take pity on a poor, friend-less Kansas boy that had just rolled into town and looking for someone to publish a few of his poems as he endured the dreaded doldrums of Oregon unemployment.

From that first poem came a position writing with them, helping them create The Alchemist each week and based on that success Cloud Davidson agreed to let me

host a monthly poetry night that came to be called “Poetics”. From that association came a job running sound for all the lovely bands and DJs at Cloud 9. In short, I owe my entire existence here in Corvallis to The Alchemist Weekly.

But now begins a brief season of good-byes. I am, as many of you know, returning to Kansas to pursue my so-called higher education and thus this Thursday’s Poetics will be my last. Similarly, my article in next week’s Alchemist will be my last, not only because of my impending departure, but also because this fine institution is also say-

So long, Jimbo and Sarah , and thanks for all the fish.

ALCHYPICKS

[week of July 5th


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2010 Alchemist WinnerFAVORITE MUSIC VENUEFAVORITE APPETIZERFAVORITE PLACE TO SPEND $10FAVORITE PLACE TO GET PICKED UP

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ALCH 1/6 PAGE - 2.84" x 7" ALCH 1/6 PAGE - 5.69x3.5ing goodbye to Corvallis.

In my experience, life is filled with such bittersweet comings and goings and thus lamentation is often a waste of spirit. Thus I intend to spend my last Poetics thank-ing everyone; The Alchemist, Cloud 9, and most of all you. Cause without y’alls sup-port, I would still be a poor Kansas boy wandering around this land of green and gray, unnoticed.

Poetics at Cloud 9, Thursday July 7, 830pm. ~Jimbo Ivy

Thursday-Sunday | 9:00 amPhilomath Rodeo GroundsFROLIC FOR THE AGES

To a certain sect of Pacific North West-erners, the Philomath Frolic and Rodeo represents something of a backwoods Hajj. It’s a rite of passage, and amongst a few die-hards, young boys cannot call themselves men until they have attended the Frolic.

There are no less than three separate ro-deos taking place in Philomath this upcom-ing weekend. Between the days of July 7-10, the eternal clash between human versus beast will take place on an epic scale. Skills once learned and utilized out of necessity like bareback riding of wild bucking horses and cattle roping will now be performed for entertainment and in hopes of maintaining traditional down-home Western values in the age of crystal methamphetamine.

Events such as bull riding lack a clear un-derstanding as to their meaning or past rel-evant practical application. This makes bull

riding the most interesting to me and natu-rally the most popular event at most rodeos.

There is something about the sight of a small-statured man, as many bull riders are, climbing onto the back of a 2,000 lb. bull and then, in a fit of pure animal power, be-ing flung around and off their backs like an unwieldy sack of Jell-O, that fascinates the human mind. It reminds us all of the time when sheer courage and machismo to risk life and limb in a pair of chaps meant some-thing more than $500 an hour during Fleet Week in Portland, Ore.

It reminds anyone with an eye for history and nostalgia of the time when that sort of blind courage tipped the scales of life of death in favor of the man that blinked last when it was time to, as Hunter Thompson said, “Skin leather at high noon on Main Street.”

Despite the plethora of animal vs. human contests populating the weekend, the bulk of the weekend lies in the frolicking. There will be music, crafts, food, worship services, two parades, two dances and even a 5K run.

A full and easily navigable website offers literally everything a human being could or would want to know about the his-tory, funding, location of the event, includ-ing a detailed schedule of the Philomath Frolic and Rodeo can be found at www.philomathrodeo.org.

The Philomath Frolic and Rodeo takes place this coming Thursday, July 7 through Sunday, July 10th in Philomath, Oregon at or near the Philomath Rodeo grounds.

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friday08livemusic

CorvallisBEANERY ON 2ND Bo Bestvima, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC]BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ CLOUD 9 FIREWORKS Tom & Ellen Demarest, 8:00 pm [AMERICANA FOLK]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG D.C. Blues, 6:00 pm [BLUES]MERLIN’S BAR AND GRILL Hip Pocket, 9:00 pm [ROCK]

TangentDIXIE CREEK SALOON Crimson Guardian, Brudos, Still Measure, 9:30 pm, FREE [ROCK]

wednesday06livemusic

CorvallisCENTRAL PARK Hilltop Big Band, 7:30 pm, FREE [BIG BAND]FARMER’S MARKET Jaqui Forney, 9:30 am, FREE [BLUES]OSU MU QUAD Ascetic Junkies, 12:00 pm, FREE [POPGRASS]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG Bluegrass Jam, 6:00 pm [BLUEGRASS]PEACOCK EAST The Brand, 7:00 pm [BLUES]

TangentDIXIE CREEK SALOON Blues Jam with Wild Bill, 7:00 pm [BLUES]

AlbanyEAGLES LODGE Albany Senior Dance, 1:30 - 3:30 pm, $3 [DANCE]

CorvallisAPPLEBEE’S DJ Stoltz Dance Party, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]PETER GYSEGEM’S STUDIO Argentine tango classes, 7:15 pm, $5 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]; On the Top: Western Wed 9:00 pm, [DANCE]

LebanonMERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

CorvallisARTS CENTER Artists@Work with Elaine Green, Julia Lont, Gale Everett, Kendal Hathaway, 5:30 pm, FREE [ARTIST]CENTRAL PARK Chalk It Up: Chalk drawing contest, 10:00 am to 12:00 pm, Ages 5 to 12 [CHALK]CLOUD 9 Infinite Improv! 9:00 pm, FREE [COMEDY]CORVALLIS BREWING SUPPLY Podere Ruggeri Cornsini Italian Wine Tasting, 5:00 pm, FREE [WINE]FIRST STREET DOWNTOWN Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am – 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET]

PhilomathBENTON COUNTY MUSEUM Philomath Frolic Rodeo 6th Annual BBQ, 5:30 pm, $15 [BBQ]

sing&dance

stuff

tuesday05livemusic

sing&dance

CorvallisART IN THE VALLEY Kathryn Honey, 5:30 pm, FREE [RECEPTION]BENTON LIBRARY Leapin Louie Lichetenstein, 3:30 pm [KIDS]BIG RIVER Dine for the Arts, ALL DAY [EAT FOR ARTS]CLOUD 9 Poetics, 8:30 pm, FREE [OPEN MIC POETRY]DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS First Thursday Art Walk, 4:00 to 8:00 pm, FREE [WALK]ENOTECA WINE BAR Chocolate Truffle Thursdays, 6:00 pm, FREE [YUMMERS]FIRST ALT COOP NORTH BeerTasting, 5:00 pm [BEER ME]LIVE WELL STUDIO Free Teen Yoga by Reach Out Yoga, 4:00 pm, FREE [YOGA]WINESTYLES Argentine Wine Tasting, 5:30 pm, $5 [WINE ME]

LebanonDOWNTOWN LEBANON Farmer’s Market, 3:00 pm – 7:00 pm [MARKET]

stuff

stuff

CorvallisCENTRAL PARK Community Band Concert: For the Kids, 8:00 pm, FREE [BAND]FIREWORKS James Wilson, 8:00 pm [CELTIC]SUNNYSIDE UP CAFÉ Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [LISTEN/PLAY]

CorvallisELKS LODGE Beginner Line Dance 7:00 pm, $3 [DANCE]IMPULSE BAR Cuban Salsa 7:30 pm FREE [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Lebanon MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

HalseyWOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” Karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

AlbanyCARNEGIE LIBRARY Jason Ropp’s Dragon Theatre Puppets [PUPPET]

CorvallisAPPLEBEE'S National Trivia Association Night, 9:00 pm, FREE [TRIVIA]BENTON COUNTY LIBRARY Teen writer’s group, 6:00 pm [WRITERS]ENOTECA WINE BAR Girls night out! Knit night, 7:00 pm [SHE'S CRAFTY]GRASS ROOTS BOOKSTORE Reading Group: “Zeitoun” by Dave Eggers, 6:30 pm [BOOKS]LASELLS STEWART CENTER Community Art Exhibit, 12:00 to 5:00 pm, FREE [ART]WINESTYLES Trivia Night Summer League Match #2, 6:00 pm, $10 per team [TRIVIA]

AlbanyEAGLES LODGE Line dance, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE]

CorvallisPEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Mike, 9:00 pm [DANCE]

LebanonMERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

sing&dance

AlbanyRILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents Ladies Night with Dj Tray, FREE [DANCE]

CorvallisCLOUD 9 Rainbow in the Clouds, 10:00 pm [DANCE]CORVALLIS SENIOR CENTER Friday Night Dance by The Syncopators, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm [DANCE]

AlbanyBEHIND CAPPIE’S BREWHOUSE Movies by Moonlight: “Time Machine,” 7:00 pm, FREE [FILM]CRABTREE AUTOMOTIVE “Cruise In” Operation Homefront, 4:00 pm [CARS/BENEFIT]

CorvallisDOWNTOWN CORVALLIS Crazy Days, ALL DAY [SALES]FIRST ALT COOP SOUTH Wine tasting, 5:00 pm [WINE ME]WINESTYLES Friday Flights, 5:00 pm [WINE]

PhilomathRODEO GROUNDS Beef BBQ, 5:00 pm, $7 per plate [FOOD] Kid’s Corner, 5:00 – 7:00 pm, FREE [KIDS] NPRA Rodeo, 7:00 pm, $13 [RODEO] After Rodeo Dance, 9:30 pm to 1:00 am, $5 [DANCE]

sing&dance

stuff

AlbanyCALAPOOIA BREWING Rusty Hinges, 7:30 pm [STRINGBAND]MONTEITH PARK Coco Montoya, 7:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

CorvallisCROWBAR ROOFTOP Creed, 6:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC ROCK]FIREWORKS Performers Spotlight hosted by Gabriel Surley, 8:00 pm [SHOWCASE]OLD WORLD DELI Old Time Music Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [OLD SKOOL]

LebanonDOWNTOWN DOG Country Jam, 6:00 pm, FREE [COUNTRY]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL EAST Blues Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

Philomath13TH ST Willamette Valley Old Time Musicians, 6:00 pm, FREE [ COUNTRY FOLK]

thursday07livemusic

[POP GRASS]Wednesday | July 6th | 12:00 pm

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Across1. Catch8. Cry from the flock11. Address sequence14. Daniel Day-Lewis played one in 199215. Washington, e.g.17. Portable form of imaginary meat?19. Vegas article20. “Take a long walk off a short ___!”21. Modern military hazard, briefly22. Disappointed interjections from Dirk Nowitzki24. “___ Raiders” (late-1960s whistle-blowing group)26. Gallivant (about)29. Cheesy bar carvings31. Homemade, casually32. Blue note?33. Biblically perfect35. Fresh kicks, as it were38. Arctic beast subject to mood swings?40. Conflict related to money and status42. They’re loaded into planes45. XXL alternative46. Place where it takes months to get guns?48. Stem cell research advocate Christopher49. Bro’s counterpart50. Big name in protection53. Popeye’s ___’ Pea54. Article with straps55. Spanish eyes57. “Can you turn off the A/C?”58. Kid’s wheels used for extreme stunts?63. Behaved like a character on “Gos-sip Girl”64. Edits65. Where a struggling major leaguer may get sent66. Course for aliens: Abbr.67. Barely contains one’s rage

Down1. Rip off2. Like some mild cleaning products

3. They’re skewered and grilled4. Neighbor of Hond.5. Rent-___ (teen thief ’s nemesis)6. ___ to go7. The Supreme Court or the starting lineup of the Washington Nation-als, e.g.8. Conservative hairstyle9. Up and about10. Certain remains11. WWII female enlistee12. IMF collaborator13. One may be tangled16. Online lecture series name18. Just some guy23. Gary of “CSI: NY”25. One being unsubtle, perhaps26. #4327. Give the heave-ho28. Drunk’s shakes, for short30. Nurses at the bar32. Displays good preschool form

34. Animal on many a dairy council logo36. Org. for fighters37. Prepare, as some tuna39. Italy’s ___ di Como40. Drugstore chain41. Year in the life of Pliny the Elder43. Supervise44. TV’s Miss Cleo, supposedly47. Business and Nursing, for two50. Trivia buff’s boast51. Sprints, e.g.52. Like some apartment rentals54. Historian’s letters56. Word processing menu option58. Body-inspecting govt. gp.59. Color TV pioneer60. Japanese-American rock guitarist James61. “Bad” cholesterol, briefly62. Drill attachment

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To submit a calen-dar listing, notice of events must be

received in writing by noon on Tuesday, one

week before publication.

Send to

calendar @ thealchemistweekly.com.

For photo consid-eration please at-

tach high resolution images with proper

photo credit.

Albany RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis CORVALLIS DANCE CENTER CENTER Beginning Ballroom Lessons, 3:00 pm, Intermediate West Coast Swing Lessons, 4:00 pm, Beginning West Coast Swing, 6:00 pm [DANCE]ODDFELLOWS HALL Swing, 7:00 pm, Blues, 10:00 pm, $5 [DANCE]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL On the Top: DJ Heartburn, 9:00 pm [DANCE]

Lebanon DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING]MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

AlbanyCITY HALL Albany Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am – 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET]LINN COUNTY EXPO Sick Town Dis-Orderlies vs Sis-Q Rollerz, 5:00 pm, $10 [ROLLER DERBY]

CorvallisAVALON WINE Wine tasting, 12:00 – 3:00 pm [WINE-IN]DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS Crazy Days, ALL DAY [SALES]DOWNTOWN FIRST ST Corvallis Farmer’s Market, 9:00 am to 1:00 pm, FREE [MARKET] Corvallis Artisan’s Market, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm [CRAFTS]ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Saturdays, 3:00 pm [SAKE-TO-ME]STARKER ARTS PARK Veggie Fest, 1:00 to 5:00 pm, FREE [FESTIVAL]TYEE WINE CELLARS Oregon Hazelnut Country Wine Dinner, 6:00 pm, $75 [EVENT]WINESTYLES Wine Tasting, 4:00 pm, $10 [WINE TIME]

LebanonWILLAMETTE SPEEDWAY DAA NW Extreme Late Models, Modified, Sportsman, Classic, 6:00 pm, $14 [RACE DAY]

PhilomathRODEO GROUNDS Lions Club Breakfast, 6:30 to 9:30 am, $6 [BREKY] Kids Parade, 10:15 am, FREE [KIDS] Grand Street Parade, 10:30 am, FREE [PARADE] Mary’s Peak Search and Rescue BBQ, 11:00 am, $7 [LUNCH] Kids Korner, Miss PF&R Queen Tryout, BINGO, 1:00 to 4:00 pm [FUN] NPRA Rodeo, 7:00 pm, $18 [YEEHAW!] After Rodeo Dance, 9:30 pm to 1:00 am, $10 [DANCE]

sing&dance

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stuffmonday11AlbanyMONTEITH PARK The Willamette Valley Concert Band, 7:00 pm, FREE [CONCERT]

CorvallisENOTECA WINE BAR Non-Profit Monday: CASA Voices for Children, ALL DAY [BENEFIT]FIREWORKS Southtown Open Mic, 8:00 pm [LISTEN/PLAY]OSU GOSS STADIUM Corvallis Knights vs. Kitsap BlueJackets, 6:40 pm, $5 [BASEBALL]PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]STARKER ARTS PARK Corvallis Community Band, 8:00 pm, FREE [BAND]

AlbanyCALAPOOIA BREWING Blues Jam, 4:00 pm, FREE [BLUES]

CorvallisFIREWORKS The Infallible Collective, 8:00 pm [JAZZ]

TangentDIXIE CREEK SALOON Acoustic Jam, 7:00 pm, Bluegrass Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [iPlay]

Corvallis PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke with Sqwig-e-okie, 9:00 pm [SING]

Lebanon MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

sunday10livemusic

sing&dance

CorvallisCHILDREN’S FARM HOME Tack Sale/ Open House for Therapeutic Horse Program, 8:00 am to1:00 pm [HORSE]DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS Crazy Days, ALL DAY [SALES]ENOTECA Saketini Sundays, 3:00 pm [SAKE-TO-ME]

PhilomathRODEO GROUNDS Lions Club Breakfast, 6:30 to 9:30 am, $6 [BREKY] Musical Christian Cowboy Church Service, 10:00 am [CHURCH] Search and Rescue BBQ, 11:00 am, $7 [LUNCH] NPRA Rodeo, 1:00 pm, $13 [RODEO]

stuff

AlbanyCALAPOOIA BREWING Jawbone Flats, 8:00 pm [ALT COUNTRY]FARMER’S MARKET Oldfield Road, 11:00 am, FREE [COUNTRY/FOLK]

CorvallisBEANERY ON 2nd Gumbo, 8:00 pm [OLD TIMEY]BOMBS AWAY CAFE The Svens, 9:00 pm, FREE [COWBOY POETRY SURF ROCK]CLOUD 9 Ambush Party, 10:30 pm [FUNKY ROCK]ENOTECA WINE BAR Diana & Diego, 7:00 pm, FREE [LATIN]FARMER’S MARKET Rick and Lavina Ross, 9:30 am, FREE [FOLK/BLUES]

LebanonMERLIN’S BAR AND GRILL Hip Pocket, 9:00 pm [ROCK]

saturday09livemusic

[ROLLER DERBY]Saturday | July 9th | 5:00 pm

Sicktown Disorderlies vs. LINN COUNTY EXPO in Albany

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THIRD DEGREE

Q If you could be any inanimate object, what would you be? Why?

I think I’d be a mountain, that way you could have a good perspective on the world.

Q What would your death row meal consist of?Oh, I’d have to go with steak and potatoes,

asparagus. Have to have some toast, good salad. German Chocolate cake. I like my steak Medium, my wife likes it Medium Well, so always have to get it off the grill to meet everyone’s expecta-tions.

Q Favorite Movie?Oh gee, that is really, really hard. I’m 55 I’ve

been to so many different movies over the years. And I’m trying to think about the ones that wow, you know that first Godfather was like that. I re-ally enjoyed Chariots of Fire, but my little brother walked out of that movie.

Q Favorite Anatomical feature of the opposite or same sex?

Priscilla.

Q What is your earliest memory?Falling in a river. I had my parent pluck me out.

I suppose why you remember it is the hullaballoo getting a little kid out of the river and I’m sure it was probably up to my ankles at the time.

Q What do you drink when you are thirsty?Coffee in the morning and then a cup of tea in

the afternoon. I drink more water than I do diet coke. I’m already on record as saying I like a cold beer and a nice glass of pinot is good too.

Q Favorite holiday? Why?I like that stretch between Christmas and New

Year’s just because it’s good family time, the kids are home.

Q What has been the most defining moment of your life to date?

Marriage and family

Q Favorite Book?I did enjoy the Steig Larson trilogy recently,

that was fun…I went through those pretty quickly, they were hard to put down.

Q Favorite Disney Character?I always liked the interaction between the

Road Runner and Wylie Coyote, that always tickled me.

Q If you knew you only had 24 hours to live, how you spend your final day?

With family, go to the beach or go on a hike.

Q What question aren’t people asked enough? Really, truly what are your motivations? In city

government, there’s usually, obviously motiva-tions for people.

Q Please answer that question?Well for me in my career, I went down a path of

either getting a law degree or an MBA, or wanting to…you’re a trickster, that’s a tricky question…whether to try to find an occupation where I could feel I was giving to a greater good than my bottom line and I’m not saying that an attorney or somebody with an MBA doesn’t also do that, cuz they do. I think I wanted to do something in public service because it made me feel like I was giving something to the greater good that would help others into the future.

Q Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

Oh, you’ve gotta live. It’s better to love and lose. Life is not a spectator sport.

Q Is it better to be lucky or skilled?Skilled, because that has a connotation of dedi-

cation and hard work, verses happenstance.

Q Is there a God?Yeah!

Q Would you rather have the power of flight or invisibility?

Power of flight. Yeah, even when you’re invisible you’re not really invisible. You’ve got a byproduct whether people see you or not.

Q If you were a bar drink what drink would you be?Well, I’d have to go with a beer. Lager probably.

Nice cold lager on a hot afternoon.

Q If you could spend the day with one historical figure who would it be? Why?

Honest Abe- There’s a wonderful book…by Dorris Kerns Goodwyn and it’s called Team of Rivals and it’s about Abraham Lincoln as the president and how he took a cabinet that had a lot of divisiveness and people that just didn’t like each other and through strength of personality and persistence and leadership accomplish what needed to be accomplished for the country.

Q If you had to spend one million dollars in a completely frivolous and selfish manner, how would you blow it?

I’d set up a dummy corporation that made it seem like it was frivolous but that actually did good works…I’m all for hedonism but a million dollars seems a bit large for me.

Q What is a personal cure when you get nervous?A couple of things, you tell yourself not to

worry about what people think of ya, because most people don’t think about you at all. And you tell yourself that they can’t take your family and your faith away from you and so what happens, happens.

Q What is a personal cure when you get sad?I would say, you need to go do something,

preferably with a friend, so walking with Priscilla (Nelson’s wife), going to a movie…something to get your mind off of what’s making you sad or depressed so you can reconnect that there’s a bigger world out there than that little focus of your brain.

Q Where do we go when we die?Oh, I would say we go to heaven.

Q Favorite Beatle’s song?Hey Jude, I really like that but there’s kind of a

melancholy [feel] but we’ll go with Hey Jude.

Q Favorite article of clothing?I can say that I’m not a clothes horse. I guess a

shirt. I don’t have a favorite, sorry.

Q One luxury item you cannot live without?(After me noting that I can’t live without my

mascara, Nelson joked he couldn’t live without a hair comb.) I do enjoy my morning coffee, my morning coffee and newspaper are important to me.

Q If aliens landed and asked you to go with them, would you?

Yeah.

Q Have you ever seen a ghost?Nope.

Q If you had to give up one sense (sight, taste, hear-ing, touch, smell) what would it be? Why?

Oh I’d give up hearing. All the others are more intimate, more fulfilling. I’ve heard enough in my life (chuckle).

Q Karaoke song of choice?Lousy at karaoke, don’t really have one.

Q Favorite Painter?Harvey Dunn, I grew up on the Dakotas and he

was a painter that did some nice pieces on the plains.

Q What is more annoying, whistling or humming?I do both, but I try not to do it around other

people and irritate them. I would say whistling is, it’s more disruptive.

Jon Nelson former Corvallis City Manager

for 18 years gets The Third Degree. Now everyone leave him alone. He's retired.

Interview by Courtney Clenney


WEE

KLY ASTROLOGER

byCoyote

Kate

●July 5, 2011●

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Aries (March 21-April 19): Spotted an American Dipper in action in a local river. This feathered critter is Halfling-like, an aquatic bird without webbed feet, of im-mense strength, that zealously searches under strong currents for fodder. Much like Hanner Dyn of British lore (a boy who could beat men at wrestling, and as an adult, out-tussled King Arthur) the Ameri-can Dipper exhibits strength, determina-tion and will. Through force of habit (di-rect translation of Hanner Dyn), the dipper survives. Aries, your strengths enhance your will, and your habits make you a moxie for the impossible. You will realize this more in the weeks ahead.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Cloud one: you wallow on the ground. Cloud two: you wisp above all combined respirations. Cloud three: you’re up and off, floating, gaining potency. Cloud four: a spiritual congrega-tion occurs. Cloud five: you collect the life blood of the Earth--water. Cloud six: mag-nificently your shapes soar. Cloud seven: Sense the gloaming of Nirvana. Cloud eight: Full, bursting, you are now a shape shifter of consequence. Cloud nine: Like the half Moon on Friday Taurus, you shine, an astronomical epitome of a cloud-- wind, water, particles of Earth, and air. Fly now.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): For a long time now, you’ve held yourself up to some ideal, a perfection that doesn’t exist, espe-cially in relationships. Native Americans always include a tiny flaw within their cre-ations to reflect real life. A beaded necklace may have one white bead amongst rows of red. One basket reed may be turned slightly, etc. Gemini, find yourself an imperfect ob-ject. Honor it. Then you will be able to rene-gotiate what fulfills or completes you.

Cancer ( June 21-July 22): Fellow Can-cerian Robin Williams, whose long list of accomplishments include: Two Emmys, 5 Grammys, Best Supporting Actor, 4 Golden Globes, and 2 Screen Actors Guild awards, amongst others, has been described as ‘maudlin.' The definition of maudlin: drunk enough to be emotionally silly, and weakly and effusively sentimental. Williams portrays the Clown in all of us. We hu-mans recognize this Clown knack because sometimes we have to be brought up and

overboard to recognize the deep emotions that we can’t always recognize or harness. Enter the Clown. Cancer, you of all the signs, know how to bring these feelings to the surface in others. Catharsis is in the Stars.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Uranus goes retrograde on Sat-urday, Virgo, offering an an-choring of sorts. Anchored ships or boats may travel, however only in a circular fashion. Now is the time to travel full-circle, finish up this particular leg of your pre-summer journey—a fi-nal goodbye to the consistently inconsistence of Spring. Feel the tug. Anchors ahoy!

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libra, I chal-lenge you to participate in some made-up, quirky game such as kaleidoscope hockey, jump rope tweezing, mattress-trancing, or bald, blue-belly balderdashing. Humor yourself and your others.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sinking ships leave life-saving debris floating on the surface. The trick is to remain afloat. Scor-pio, use the odds and ends to design some-thing better. Half Moon on Friday gives greater opportunity for success.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sum-mer abounds with growth. Earth pushes life from within. Ever known someone in early stages of pregnancy? Strange desires, a quelling in the stomach, so much to do, so much to prepare for. So much change. Kind of like reloading a quiver, Sag.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’ve de-cided to start the habit of talking to myself and answering. Perhaps, Cappi, you could make this your habit as well. If you speak out loud, you will listen. Perhaps, the forces not apparent in alchemy, energy focused upon, will bring about concrete ideas.

Aquarius ( Jan. 20-Feb.18): Apparent-ly those funky fungi have more uses than a rubber band, safety pin or duct tape. Besides being yummy, poisonous, decomposers, and recyclers, they can filter much better than the finest sieve. According to Paul Stamets of Washington state, they have the ability of ‘mycofiltration,’ meaning they can de-crease amounts of E. coli in ground water, aid in healing of some cancers in women, and break down heavy oils. Aquarian, set yourself the task of ‘thinking inside the Earth.’ Perhaps we could become a mush-room planet.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): If you’re looking to increase the strength of the war-rior within you Pisces, look to the Holly Tree. The Celtic month of the Holly Tree starts on Friday. Anyone who has ever come into contact with this tree knows the sting of its barbs and the beauty of the red ber-ries and shiny leaves. Inside beauty; outside armor.

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LITERATI“dream; Imploding Star” - Part V

Chronicles of Detective Siempre

by T. Clarence

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"He needs an outlet," detec-tive candy siempre had told coach Wandreson

sternly the day after Xander's civil War dream, "he's a natural leader."

'The Wonder' had stared back at Can-dy coldly from across his desk, "That's it? You're trying to tell me that that's the an-swer to all his problems?"

"He's always been team captain and in charge of his men," Candy sat up reso-lutely and continued as the coach tried to interrupt him, "I'm not suggesting you let Xander replace Peel as captain. Yesterday we spent an afternoon with him coaching some local kids and by the time we got into his dreams afterwards he wasn't leading, he was part of the team again. It was like he'd used up his leadership reserve."

'The Wander' opened his mouth to speak but Candy cut him off.

"You order him around on and off the field and it stifles him. That's the root of the problem. If you can't let him loose in a game, set up some weekly scrimmages and have him captain the other team, some-thing like that."

The coach had held his mouth open the whole time, ready to speak, but now he closed it without a word and sat back, lost in thought.

A week went by, then two.Xander's suspension ended and Number

10 returned to the football field playing better than ever.

It had been a surprise for Candy when, after another week, Coach Wandreson showed up at his office. The look on his face was not humble, but if possible, 'The Won-der' looked a bit wiser.

The detective hurried to stamp out his cigarette as Wandreson walked in, but the

older man paid no mind to it as he crossed the room and took a seat.

"I have to thank you, detective," he spoke first.

Candy wanted to respond, but waited; he could tell Wandreson had more to say.

"Letting Xander captain the opposing team in scrimmages hasn't just been good for him, it's given me some new ideas as well," the coach seemed more relaxed than the detective had ever seen him, "Some day when Peel has moved on, Xander will be team captain, no doubt."

"That's great," Candy said genuinely. He truly was a fan of the Cascadian 'Copias football team. "Is there anything more I can do for you, coach?"

He had sensed the man had something in mind.

"Call me Amos," the coach surprised him once, and then once more, "I'd like to do something for you, and for those kids he's been coaching. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to interfere with his, umm... project."

"What can I do for you?" Candy repeated."I have these front row tickets," Wan-

dreson could barely hold them all in one hand as he set them on the detective's desk, "Right on the midfield line."

And so they sat under the blaring sta-dium lights that Saturday night, Candy and his sister Derry, with ten starry-eyed kids to either side of them.

"Goal!" they raised their hands trium-phantly in the air and held their shout for as long as each of them had breath.

With three goals already it was Xander's best game with the 'Copias yet. Number 10 ran triumphantly back towards midfield, cheered on by his teammates and thousands of fans. He raised a hand to high-five the detective and the kids before circling back to the field as the game went on.

Anatomy

by Amy Edinger

COBBLESTONE SQUARE • 14th and MONROE • Suite C • (541) 752-7463

In certain morning lights,her skin grew transparent—so pale it faded into illusion, exposing the complex interplay of veinswinding through her anatomy,pale purple and blue.

Under the window,he would unfold her like a road map,and she would lie on her backwith closed eyesand let him trace the lines,feeling the light touch as hefollowed their coursewith a single fingeracross stomach, arms, chest,

until the veins entangled in intricate contours,a labyrinth of spiderwebsencircling her legs and wrists. His fingers could not identifythe proper route to breachthe distance of white skin,so he pressed his whole body to hers,feeling their forms alignwith each inhalation.

He tried to travel with her,to follow the progression of a heartbeatthrough every vessel, vein and capillary,until it returned as she breathed. He tried to envision the trajectory of an internal networkbranching throughout her limbsto reach every cell.

He said she looked like a dreamcatcher,woven in precise patterns,forming immeasurable shapesletting the gold sun filter through her webof blue intersecting linesthat diverged towards her edges.

Maybe that’s why he could never dreamwhen he lay with her, their breath synched,his chest rising as hers fell,respiration etching outlines of stories in the

air.Instead, he woke seconds after he slept,feeling the soft pressof a pulse navigating her veins,the rhythmic thruma reminder of places still unseen.


honeyAlbany

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fireWorks restauraNt & bAr1115 se 3rd 541.754.6958

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murPHy’s taverN2740 sW 3rd st. 541.738. 7600

PaPa’s Pizza1030 s.W. third st. 541.757.2727

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squirrel’s100 sW 2nd st. 541.753.8057

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suDs & suDs1045 NW kings Blvd. 541.758.5200

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Tyee Wine CellArS26335 greenberry rd. 541.753.8754

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WineSTyleS2333 N.W. kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

LebanonartisiaN’s Well louNge2250 south main rd. 541.451.3900

CorNerstoNe Café & PuB180 s 5th st. 541.847.6262

Duffy’s irisH PuB679 south main st. 541.259.2906

Fire piT lounge2230 south santiam Hwy 541.451.2010

gAMeTiMe SporTS Bar & grill3130 south santiam Hwy 541.570.1537

merliN’s Bar & grill25 W. sherman st. 541.258.6205

PeaCoCk Bar & grill east76 e. sherman st. 541.451.2027

sPorts sHaCk & Deli1250 grant St. 541.259.0800

PhilomathHigH 5 sPorts Bar & grill1644 main st.-541.929.7529

meet’N PlaCe taverN1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130

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the alchemist weekly july 5th, 2011

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