THE ABC* OF JOSS WHEDON WARNER

*Asylum Bachelor Challenge

Part Three!

Last time on the ABC of Joss Whedon Warner, stuff happened. Since this is an asylum bachelor challenge, the points are a little different than in a normal challenge. In this part we’ll get the final points based on relationship. There are 7 points to be earned there.

Positives:

Firsts = 1 point a piece

Children = 5 points a piece

ACR the one = 5 points

Negatives:

Dying = - 5 points (even if successfully plead for)

Fight with Bachelor = -5 per fight

Peeing self = -1 point

Passing out = -1 point (includes plate naps)

Nervous Breakdown = -1 point.

As you might recall this is our caretaker, Andrea “Drea” Shin Fitzhugh. Her aspiration is in the red and she’s forced to macro-garden incessantly. This is what you get for having the LTW to have 6 grandchildren. If you wanted to have a job LTW I’d be forced to care about your aspiration. Since you don’t, I don’t. I bet she’s regretting pissing me off all those years ago now isn’t she? She’s also a little greener now thanks to being plantsimmed.

This is Drew. He’s the key to this whole challenge. When he grows up, he’ll pump out the 6 plantbabies to give Drea her LTW. So everyone in the challenge house is on the clock.

So let’s get back to the action, already in progress.

Rachel C.: Yoohoo! Pregnant woman needing attention here.

Joss: Baby!

Seren: Make out?

Joss: Baby!

Joss: Flirt?

Everyone else: Baby!

And we have the first baby of the challenge, Rick Contrary. He’s got black hair and brown eyes. His birth gives Rachel C. five more points. So go Rick!

Joss learns what all new parents do, that babies are tiring. Although it could be just that he’s tired from all of the photobooth woohoo. Either way, I don’t blame him.

Newly awakened, Joss was immediately pounced on by one of his baby mamas.

Marina: Your hands are so soft.

Joss: It’s the dish soap. I’ve been soaking in it.

Marina: Shhh… Don’t ruin the illusion.

Seren: Is this an underwear party?

Joss: Do you want it to be? Seren: I love parties!

Joss: Are you here to heartfart at me or are you going to talk to me?

Rose: Um. Talk I suppose.

Joss: So talk.

Rose: Well I was talking to the bird and he said…

Joss: Okay.

Rachel C.: Get away from him, he’s mine!”

Rose: Ow!

Seren: She handed me the baby to poke Rose.

Rachel A.: So Hungry!

Joss: I am not dealing with this.

Rose: I am not happy that you spoiled my chance. I’m a Fitzhugh, I know how to hold grudges.

Joss eventually escaped to find another bed.

And Rose started to show Rachel C. that she was her parents daughter.

And Eve got aspiration points.

Eve: They taste like candy!

Elizabeth: So when I’m not dead we’re going to hook up, right?

Joss: Aren’t you alive right now?

Elizabeth: I’m dead without you.

Joss: Um. That’s melodramatic.

Seren: I am really not melodramatic.

Joss: This is a good thing. I don’t like drama. Had enough, want less.

With Marina popping further into her pregnancy and we’re still one day from the end of this challenge, I don’t see that happening.

Back in the kitchen, Rose, Seren, and Rachel A. were playing pass the bachelor.

Awwww… It’s so cute that they’re grumpy facing in sync.

Although Rose really had good reason to grumpy face Rachel C.

Poor Kat, the kareoke machine hasn’t been a aspiration loser like it normally is. But Kat here is one of the few that does lose points. And yes, Rose and Rachel C are still fighting.

Eventually Rose kicked Rachel C.’s butt and the girl went and hid behind the other Rachel.

Not that it stopped Rose any. Seriously, Rose for all of her 8 nice points is not a sim to mess with. Just like her mother…

Eve moves on to stalking Elizabeth while Molly takes a plate nap, losing her one point.

Meanwhile Marina discovers the kareoke machine.

Marina: Who let the dogs in? Who? Who? Who?

Good question, Marina. Good question.

Seren is finally showing.

OMG! Finally! Dammit Rose why couldn’t you have done this sooner!

Rose: Joss is hot.

Joss : Mmmm, yes I am.

Unfortunately for Rose, Seren swooped in to claim the bachelor before Rose could pull him into the photobooth for post first kiss woohoo.

Eve, however took umbrage to Joss hitting on Seren. Probably misplaced green skinned girls solidarity. Either that or she was just looking for an excuse to fight. I think the latter.

Seren was right there to comfort Joss after his ordeal. While Eve waited around to give him another ordeal.

Joss: I’m sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea. Cause I've got to be free, Free to face the life that's ahead of me. On board, I'm the captain, so climb aboard, We'll search for tomorrow on every shore, And I'll try, Oh Lord I'll try, to carry on.

Seren: Wooo! Freebird!

Seren: Feed me!

Rachel: No feed me!

Marina: zzzzfeedyourselveszzzzz

Joss: A gathering of angels appeared above my head, They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said.

Joss: They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me lads, Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me.

And if you are like Eric Cartman, you now will not be able to get the song out of your head. You’re welcome.

This slide is here to illustrate that the three most illusive sims of Drea, Kat, and Genie are in fact still alive and doing well. Although that is a relative term in an asylum.

Rachel C: I’m worried. My aspiration is crap and Marina’s gotten another first. I need to do something drastic.

Unfortunately the photobooth was occupied so Rachel C. had to content herself with worrying in her underwear.

Oh Marina, and just when you were doing so well becoming Joss’ first BFF. Minus one point.

And the fights continue. I’m not even keeping track anymore. I’ll just count the number in memories when I’m done.

Someone shooed Marina because they needed to use the restroom and she got up and promptly lost another point.

As well as several aspiration points.

I was distracted by Marina’s misery by the Rachel A. announcing she was going to give birth.

This is baby number one Riku Austen.

I also find it amusing that Eve chose this moment to throw down with Joss.

Unable to hand the baby to Joss, Rachel C. drops Riky on the floor while Joss finishes trouncing Eve.

While Rachel is giving birth to baby number two, Molly decides that now is the best time to loosen Joss up after his fight.

Rachel hands baby number two, a girl named Cait, off to Joss and glares at Eve who is likely waiting to attack the new father while she goes for baby number three.

And pops out baby number three, Anne, who is thankfully the last one. We now have a toddler and four infants in the house with 12 uncontrollables and a crazy plantsim. Good times!

Oh Seren, you had to go and lose more points. That isn’t going to help.

Rose: Why are you crying?

Eve: I lost a fight.

Rose: Then maybe you shouldn’t pick them.

Eve: You just don’t understand!

Ahh, I love a man who cleans.

Rachel seems to agree.

Molly: You’ve got a face meant for kissing.

Joss: Yay!

Rachel C.: Eeeeexcellent!

Rachel C.: Mine!

Molly: How could you! I loved you, Joss! Loved you!

It was at this point I literally fell out of my chair laughing, scaring my pets. Poor Molly, she was doing so well and then because she is a family sim she got mad that Joss cheated on her when she fell in love. I swear Rachel C. planned this. The doodads hadn’t even appeared and Molly went from in love to pissed off in .1 seconds.

Molly: That’s it we’re through!

Joss: But… But… You hit me!

Rachel C.: You can’t hit my man!

Joss: I’ll fight my own battles, thank you!

Molly: You hit me!

Joss: You hit me first.

Then Joss went off and cried and I felt bad for him. He really liked Molly and she was heavily pregnant. Oh ACR, how I love thee.

After his cry, Joss went off and found Elizabeth for a little pick me up.

And since she was pregnant, he made sure she was nice and relaxed. It’s the least he could do.

Mal in the mean time, decided she needed a new enemy and Rachel A. was perfect for that.

I really do not know what made Mal cranky but she’s got negative relationships with most of the house. Except for Eve. She likes Eve.

I was confused for a moment when I followed Joss and Elizabeth and wondered who let in one of the sims I have dressed as reapers in this hood. Then I realized that it was the REAL reaper. And that Seren apparently starved to death in front of the fridge while Drea was making dinner. Oops?

Joss: I don’t see anything, la la la! Must clean to be happy!

Drea: Do I have to plead for her? I don’t even know her.

Yes, dammit!

Drea: Oh Reaper! Please don’t take this green girl that I thing I may have 5 relationship points with. I don’t want to be more miserable than I already am!

Reaper: Fine. I’ll give you a chance.

And Drea won. Seriously, this sim is way too good at challenges. I did an adult start apoc with her and she topped a career and had 5 kids.

Seren can’t believe she is back from the dead, and frankly neither can I. However it does hurt her a lot points wise. Minus 5 points for dying, Seren.

Crisis averted, Drea goes back to making dinner.

While in the other room, a crisis of a different sort occurs. Marina goes into labor.

Marina: This is going to suck, isn’t it.

It will.

Elizabeth: Yay aspiration points!

Meet Baby one, Isaac. You heard that right, baby one.

Meet baby two, Rhys.

And Mal is upset because I haven’t bought her a bar worth more than 1,000.

We have a baby hand off to Drea who was serving burned soup. Yes, Drea is holding Rhys. Laugh at the irony with me. And Rose really wants that burnt soup.

Meet baby three, Spencer.

Sigh, Mal just lost a point for getting food poisoning. Then she got better from eating the soup. Then got sick again. I do not even…!

Because Mal was getting sick and Rachel C. was not pleased to see her chances of winning going away, Marina dropped Spencer on the floor to give birth to a fourth baby boy, Ashley.

Whew!

I’ll admit I laughed my ass off when I got the pop up and the portrait screen went nuts. I knew she was scanning twins, I didn’t expect what I got. I was certain one of the Rachels was going to take it then Marina had to one up them. It’s going to take some doing to catch her now.

And there isn’t a lot of time, since Drew grew up. You know what that means? Queues up grow plant baby.

Drew: *does the harlem shake*

Drew: *does the harlem shake again*

Drew: *headbangs*

We pause your plant baby spam to announce that Elizabeth thought this would be a good time to die. Really, girl, you couldn’t wait 20 sim minutes?

Apparently not. Everyone stopped mothing the babies/toddlers to cry over Elizabeth while Drea eyed the Reaper warily. Elizabeth was a simself kid, dying twice, not a good thing.

Unfortunately the way to plead was blocked by several sims.

Still Drea managed to do it.

Drea: I know I only have 6 relationship points with the girl but can you not take this one? Please? It really would be good thing if she didn’t die.

Reaper: You will have to take your chances.

Drea: Oh no!

Reaper: *cackles*

So Elizabeth died, again. And right at the end too. Such bad timing.

Elizabeth’s death sent Rachel C. off the deep end and she collapsed onto the carpet.

Really Rachel? You couldn’t wait 5 sim minutes?

Oh dear gods not you too, Seren! Drea get in here!

Thankfully Seren was a false alarm and Drew was able to get his 6 kids sending Drea permaplat. The kids are:

Andrea

Ondrei

Andree

Andre

Leon

Talley

I was really running out of names to give them toward the end there.

Joss jumped into bed to try to escape all of the last minute drama while I paused the game to figure out the point totals and finally look at memory panels so I could announce the winner.

And the matchmaking bird, 1, finally gave up the ghost. Poor bird, you tried.

So lets see how the contestants did.

Since it is the end of the challenge I am going to be counting a few other things just for fun. Contestants will get 1 point for every 5,000 points of aspiration they have (it shows how well they can take care of themselves), 1 point for each skill they got, -1 for every meal burned, -1 for each illness gotten, and total of 7 points possible based on relationship (LTR, STR, and the flags). I will also be giving 1 point per pregnancy. Since they were pregnant but the number of kids is unknown and they didn’t give birth in time. These are in addition to the other points. Trust me they don’t change the ranking of the top 3 at all but it does break the 0pt ties in the middle.

Contestant: Eve Vetinari

Positive points: 0pts

Negative Points: 8 fights x -5points per fight = -40pts

Skills: 7 (+7pts)

Aspiration: 5,000 (+1pts)

Relationship with Joss: -100/100 enemies (-3pts)

Children: 0

Total: -35

Contestant: Seren Doran

Positive points: 1 (pregnant), 1 (3bolts)

Negative Points: -2 (potty accidents), -5 (dying)

Skills: 3 (3pts)

Aspiration: 8,500 (1pt)

Relationship with Joss: 100/54. friends, crush, best friends = 4.54pts

Children: 0

Total: 3.54

Contestant: Malcolm Landgraab V

Positive points: 0

Negative Points: -2 (got food poisoning twice)

Skills: 7 (7pts)

Aspiration: 500 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 0/0 = 0pts

Children: 0

Total: 5

Contestant: Rose Fitzhugh

Positive points: 0

Negative Points: 0

Skills: 5 (5 pts)

Aspiration: 2,500 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 31/15 = .46 pts

Children: 0

Total: 5.46

Contestant: Katmiester Simself

Positive points: 0

Negative Points: -1 (burned meal)

Skills: 8 (8pts)

Aspiration: 4,250 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 8/8 = .16

Children: 0

Total: 7.16

Contestant: Genie Doran

Positive points: 0

Negative Points: 0

Skills: 9 (9pts)

Aspiration: 0 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 9/9 = .18pts

Children: 0

Total: 9.18

Contestant: Molly Penguino

Positive points: 2 (pregnant and scanning twins), 1 (3bolts)

Negative Points: -2 (potty accident), -1 (plate nap)

Skills: 5 (5pts)

Aspiration: 10,250 (2pts)

Relationship with Joss: 31/11, BFF, Love, Crush = 3.42

Children: 0

Total: 10.42

Contestant: Elizabeth Doran

Positive points: 1 (pregnant)

Negative Points: -5 (dying), -1 (plate nap), -1 (potty accident)

Skills: 7 (7pts)

Aspiration: 25,750 (5pts)

Relationship with Joss: 100/66, crush, friend, best friend = 4.66pts

Children: 0

Total: 10.66

Contestant: Rachel Contrary

Positive points: 6 (First Friend, First Crush, First Pregnant, First Kiss, First Make Out, First Woohoo), 1 (pregnant)

Negative Points: -1 (passed out), -1 (nervous breakdown)

Skills: 6 (6pts)

Aspiration: 0 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 100/100, friend, best friend, bff, crush, love = 7pts

Children: 1 (5pts)

Total: 19pts

Contestant: Rachel Austen

Positive points: 5 (the one)

Negative Points: -2 (potty accident), -1(pass out), -1(plate nap)

Skills: 1 (1pts)

Aspiration: 3,000 (0pts)

Relationship with Joss: 100/100, friend, best friend, bff, crush, love = 7pts Children: 3 (15pts)

Total: 24pts

Contestant: Marina Simself

Positive points: 4 (First Best Friend, First Love, First BFF, First to 100/100)

Negative Points: -1 (pass out), -1 (burned meal), -2 (potty accident)

Skills: 6 (6pts)

Aspiration: 0

Relationship with Joss: 100/100, friend, best friend, bff, crush, love = 7pts

Children: 4 (20pts)

Total: 33pts

Congrats Marina, you’re the winner!

Joss: Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world, She took the midnight train goin' anywhere . Marina: Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit, He took the midnight train goin' anywhere.

Joss: A singer in a smokey room, A smell of wine and cheap perfume

Marina: For a smile they can share the night, It goes on and on and on and on

Both: Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard, Their shadows searching in the night, Streetlights people, living just to find emotion, Hiding, somewhere in the night. Joss: Working hard to get my fill, Everybody wants a thrill, Payin' anything to roll the dice, Just one more time.

Marina: Some will win, some will lose, Some were born to sing the blues, Oh, the movie never ends, It goes on and on and on and on.

Both: Don't stop believin‘ Hold on to the feelin‘ Streetlights people Don't stop believin‘ Hold on Streetlight people Don't stop believin‘ Hold on to the feelin‘ Streetlights people!

Marina: Mmmm… Yeah. I could grow to like this.

Joss: It just ends like that? Lame.

Marina: Journey is never lame.

So that’s it! Marina won thanks to her fecundity and the fact that she wanted to laugh at me. I also realized later that she had another stake in this, she has a thing for the sons of DocSupremeNerd and Joss definitely is that.

This was fun and Drea was totally miserable and having red aspiration (which meant she couldn’t do spores of happiness) for most of this challenge.

Thanks for reading. Thanks to everyone who let me use and abuse their sims and simselves in this challenge.

Until next time, happy simming!