ten steps to becoming social emotional aces-mackintosh webinar

©2016 Sharon M Barnes, MSSW, PLLC

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Ten Steps to Building

Emotional

Core Strength

Written & Presented By

Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW

Therapist for Sensitive and

Gifted

Sharon M. BarnesTherapist For Sensitive and

GiftedMSSW – Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSU

LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado

USALocal Counseling/Psychotherapy

Online Distance Consultation

Presentations, PlayShops & Retreats

Professional DevelopmentJungian-oriented depth work to: Release your Creativity

Heal your Past

Transform your Pain

Become Fully Alive

Find & Fulfill your True Purpose



Thank You to

Social and emotional needs are

crucial to the well-being of gifted

students and adults.

Social and emotional needs o Low Self-esteem or confidence

o Anxiety

o Depression

Ten Steps to Building Emotional

Core Strength

(How to Become

Social-Emotional ACES)Targeting

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional Resilience

Self-Esteem

RESULT: Restore ability to

Create & Innovate

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.




Foundation Stone 1: What’s the BIG PICTURE?



Why we spend

so much time

on the

foundation:

o The taller you build,

the deeper you need

to dig.

o The more storms you

prepare for, the

deeper you dig.

o The more you

understand WHY, the

better you can do with

the WHAT & HOW.



Caveat - Hesitations - Reservations

Humans don’t fit into

equations and formulas

For every principle or tool

or technique that exists,

and that I share, there are

other legitimate ways to

approach these things

My role here is as a Guide

through the Wilderness of

Inner Territory, a fellow

traveler who has walked

these paths before –alone

and as a guide. I know

much of this terrain and

am glad to share what I

have learned on the trail.

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

GT Kids (of all ages)

CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional

Resilience

Self-esteem

What’s an

ACE?

Exhibit A:

o Elite baseball pitcher

o Team’s best starter

o First in the rotation

o Plays the BIG

games


GT Kids (of all ages)

CAN be ACES at . . .

Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional

Resilience

Self-esteem



What’s a Social-Emotional ACE?

Social –Emotional ACES =

“5 G’s”

1. Gain perspective (big picture)

2. Gain understanding and

acceptance of self & others

3. Gain skills to balance and

express emotions

4. Gain skills to meet own

social-emotional needs

effectively

5. Gain skills to establish and

maintain social relationships

Top 3

Issueso Children

o Teens

o Adults

1.Super-

sensitivity

2.Anxiety

3.Depression©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.


A Great Tragedy

o School Shootings ← GT Students

o Suicides of Gifted & Talented

People

o Under –Achievement

o Alienation

o Dumbing down

o Copping out

o Dropping out

o Wasted intelligence

o Wasted talent

o Wasted lives


www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.


Something’s

wrong with me



I’m an Alien

Creative

Acutely Aware

Super- Sensitive

Intense, often Introverted and/or

Gifted

You? someone you know?

= CASIGY™©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

CASIGYs



More perceptive

CNS

More reactive CNS

CASIGYs’

Mascot*Different*o ridiculed

o excluded

o shunned

o shamed

o ostracized

o banished into

exile©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com



because of . . .

LATER …



he returned from exile


Also

because of . .

.



Wh

at’

s

YO

UR

S?



First 50 who

come to my table

get a RED NOSE!

• 2• 3

• 1• 4

ReturnRed Nose: MisFit

OutcastExile

CASIGY Cycle of Discouragement

The

Hero &

Heroine’

s

Journey





• 2• 3

• 1• 4

Creative Contri-bution

Creative Coping

Creative Healing

Creative Transfor-

mation

CASIGY Cycle of Encouragement

The

Hero’s &

Heroine’

s

Journey



Foundation Stone 2: Who am I & Where am I in this picture?

What is the most powerful, yet

hidden tool that parents and

teachers have that will help

CASIGY kids and teens become

Social-Emotional ACES?

Modeling / Monkey-See, Monkey-Do

It’s the most natural way we all

learn

Kids do what we DO, not what we

SAY

It takes one to know one

You can't lead someone where you

are not willing or able to go

Implication:

Use these tools for yourself

FIRST

THEN you can pass them along©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.


Foundation Stone 3: Monkey-See─Monkey-Do

Emotions are like Ocean Waveso natural phenomenon

o energy

o don’t ask permission

o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement

o Our 1st reaction is to

o When we fight them,

o Learn to READ them

o Learn to RIDE them

F IGHT THEM

WE LOSE stay SAFE

have FUN



Foundation Stone 4: Emotions are like Ocean Waves



Whew! That’s a lot of Foundation!

Preparation for

the Journey



Multi-Purpose

Tool:

Emotions are like Ocean Waveso natural phenomenon

o energy

o don’t ask permission

o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement

o Our 1st reaction is to

o When we fight them,

o Learn to READ them

o Learn to RIDE them

F IGHT THEM

WE LOSE We can stay SAFE

We can have FUN





7 Barriers to Feeling Our Emotions



1. DON’T

FEEL!

oDon't feel sad

oDon't feel mad

oDon't feel bad

oDon't feel too

glad/happy

oDon’t feel

__________

So We Stuff our

Emotions

The Result?


www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comEmotional Volcanoes

Emotional Floods



Have You Had This

at Home or School?

Emotional Icebergs

We’re Afraid the Dam will

BURST

GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL

CLEAR

ORANGE Flag = Medium waves = CAUTION

RED Flag = Big waves = DANGER

BLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE

BEACH

PURPLE Flag = Something’s in the water

= BEWARE

What Color Flag is flying on Your Inner

Beach?





CASIGY™ Tool #1 First

Best

Last

Use anywhere

Use anytime

BREATHE

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com/

Resources/CASIGY Tool Box/ Relaxation

Breathing Exercises

http://www.therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/



http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/1a-daily-tune-in-tool-2/


Release

your

emotions(To save the dam,

open a flue)



“I’ve decided to outsource my emotional

needs”©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.


5. What do I need? How can I meet this need?



How do I interpret this event or situation?

o What’s my first take on what it means?

o Things are not always as they seem –

does it REALLY mean this?

o What else might it mean?



CASIGYs Often Believe:

“I’m Different, therefore

something’s wrong

with me; I’m

Defective, Inferior,

and Inadequate”




Dabrowski’s Theory of

Positive Disintegration

o Emotions influence personality development

o Intelligence is not a sufficient condition for human development

o Experience of negative emotions is essential for advanced psychological development.

o Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative emotions

o When individuals are on the path of development, negative emotions are essential companions

o Negative emotions may break apart lower levels of development and thus prepare us for higher levels of development

o Therefore having negative emotions may be a harbinger of further development



Jung’s Depth Psychology: Most people can stay undeveloped psychically

with no particularly negative consequences for

themselves

They are unconscious and are perfectly happy

being unconscious.

They give lots of other people trouble and pain,

but they are not pained because of their

unconsciousness.

Many (especially CASIGYs) DO have a great

NEED to develop to a deeper, higher, broader

level.

They develop symptoms (neuroses) that haunt

them unless and until they become more and

more conscious and more developed

psychologically.

Like those who MUST explore new physical

territory (California or BUST), they MUST

individuate.

Tragically, they most often misinterpret the

meaning of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.

They need to understand that their symptoms

are signs of an INVITATION WITH AN

IMPERATIVE TO GROW & DEVELOP FURTHER.



CASIGYs ─You’re NOT

Defective;

You’re Different …by Design!





When our Waves are Out of

Proportion

o More perceptive CNS

o More reactive CNS

o HALT

o Misunderstanding

o Misinterpretation

o Pull from the past (depression)

o Push to the future (anxiety)

o Complexes distort reality©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

7. Does the SIZE of this wave MATCH

the significance of the situation?

We all need

fences

8. What are my limits?

How can I honor them?



Accept the Waves

o Stop resisting & fighting the

waves

o Watch the waves

o Ride the waves


9. What can I DO about this

OR how can I accept this?


CASIGYS CAN be

ACES at . . . Asynchrony

soCial Skills

Emotional

Resilience

Self-esteem



10. Personal

Positive

Predictability

Whatever comes your way in life, you can predict

that you can (eventually) find a positive, creative,

constructive way to cope with it.

CASIGY ACES Social-Emotional

Empowerment Program

You (and your kids or teens, if you

include them) will

o Climb the Personal Power Pyramid

so you all can –

o Develop Personal Positive

Predictability

o Cultivate Self-Understanding and

Self-Acceptance

o Foster a Strong, Flexible Sense of

Self

o Build Emotional Core Strength

o Expand Emotional & Social

Resilience Factors

o Become Social & Emotional ACES

o ACCESS it TWO Ways –

o LIVE Webinar

o Home Video

LIVE Web ProgramOnce a Week for 6 weeks

Wed’s Nov 2-Dec 14, 2016

(minus Thanksgiving Week)

7 pm-8:30 MD/ST (GMT/UTC 6/7)

- Access it LIVE - AND

- Access the Recordings

HOME Video ProgramSame Content

Access at your pace

Q & A by email

Contact Sharon Today for a NEW Tomorrow!

mailto:Sharon@TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.

com

CASIGY™ ACES Social-Emotional Empowerment Program

50% Discount until 11/17 $397 x 50% = $198.50

https://delivr.com/23gzc

https://delivr.com/2gnnd



SourcesElaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Person.

Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Child

Campbell, Joseph. Hero with a Thousand Faces

Jung, C.G., MD. Two Essays on Analytical Psychology

Sal Mendaglio, PhD. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration

Lucy Jane Miller, OTR, PhD. Sensational Kids

Marylou Kelly Streznewski, MEd. Gifted Grownups

James T. Webb, PhD. Searching for Meaning. Idealism, Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope

James T. Webb, PhD and Edward R. Amend, PhD. Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression

Contact Sharon Today for a NEW Tomorrow!

mailto:Sharon@TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.

com

https://delivr.com/23gzc

LIVE Webinar Program

HOME Video Program

https://delivr.com/2gnnd

ten steps to becoming social emotional aces-mackintosh webinar

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