taos institute conference: "relational practices in peace-building and conflict...
DESCRIPTION
"Relational Presence" is described as a pathway for conflict transformation. The presentation highlights how this relational practice moves beyond mediation and consensus building to a new way of engaging in peace-buildingTRANSCRIPT
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Samuel Mahaffy
Passion, Presence, and Poetry: A Relational Approach to Transforming Organizational
Conflict
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I was pretty good at sharing when I was little: I shared my cake on my 3rd Birthday!
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There wasn’t much conflict at first, where I grew up by the Red Sea in Eritrea, East Africa
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People were neighborly and helped each other. There was lots of space to get around
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Villagers built simple homes that left plenty of room for everyone to get along….
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And if you didn’t get along with your neighbor, you could always pack up your home on a camel and move away!
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When I came to the United States, I was approved by the Idaho Supreme Court to help folks resolve conflicts
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I built a pretty good business helping people mediate conflicts…
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It was hardest to mediate disputes about children, because I cared about the children…
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As a mediator, I tried to be unbiased and find a neutral space to help resolve conflicts
Mediator (Unbiased)
Party 2
Party 1Neutral Space
The job of the mediator is to be the neutral party helping to find agreement between two adversarial parties
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I started making story telling part of mediation…Imagine that we are by a fire….
Mediator
Party 2
(Story-Teller)
Party 1(Story-Teller)
The job of the mediator is to be the narrator between the stories
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Then I tried to help people find better ways of peacemaking through better communication…
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I was really excited about helping groups try to reach CONSENSUS in decision making…
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There was even a lot of conflict about change processes in organizations….
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I returned for wisdom to my African roots and remembered the HYENA MAN OF HARAR
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The natural world has lots to teach us about learning to get along and being intimate…
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The Voices of our Common VisionFinding Shared Voice with Passion and Poetry
PRESENCE!
Poetry
Passion
The Voices of our Common Vision
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Instead of mediating conflicts, I am now the facilitator of shared stories from which new meanings emerge
Story teller 1
Story teller 2
Story teller 3
Faciltiators' of Stories
This is the shared story of how we have loved each other, shared purposes, and how we have deeply wounded each other…This is our story.
The Voices of our Common Vision: Stories Told with Passion, Presence, & Poetry
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I invite you to join me in further conversation about relational presence
www.samuelmahaffy.com [email protected]
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Finding the ‘truth’ in a situation now seems much like winnowing in my village in Eritrea
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My work with the Taos Institute has brought me to this notion of ‘relational presence’
ParticipantsGathered CommunityStrangers Welcomed
RelationshipsRelationship is
CentralMimetic Movement
DiscoursesSilence is Valued
Talk Back to Situation
KnowledgeUnknowing is
Valued
Permission to make mistakes
AtmosphereQuietly Inviting
Intimacy
AgendaRelational Presence has no Agenda: It is
the Agenda
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With ‘relational presence’ I abandon my search for THE BRIGHT AND SHINY OBJECT OF AN ‘AGREEMENT’