table of contents · welcome to stop eating your heart out: the 21-day program to free yourself...

TABLE OF CONTENTS • • • • •

In troduction ......................................................................................................................... 3 AWARENESS ....................................................................................................................... 4

• DAY 1: Eating History ................................................................................................... 5 • DAY 2: Feelings and Needs ........................................................................................... 7

Food-Mood Diary ............................................................................................ 10 • DAY 3: Journal ........................................................................................................... 12

SUPPORT ............................................................................................................................ 13

• DAY 4: Creating a Support System. .............................................................................. 14 • DAY 5: Self-care Activities

Have To’s and Shoulds ..................................................................................... 15 • DAY 6: Therapy • DAY 7: Letter to Higher Power ...................................................................................... 16 • DAY 8: Prayer and Meditation ..................................................................................... 17

Conscious Breathing Chart ............................................................................... 18 • DAY 9: Creative Visualization and Vision Boards ........................................................... 19

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY ................................................................................................. 20

• DAY 10: EFT Directions and Diagram ........................................................................... 22 • DAY 11: RITT Directions and Diagrams ......................................................................... 24

When to Tap ................................................................................................ 26 • DAY 12: Personal Energy Work

INNER WORK ................................................................................................................... 27

• DAY 13: Strengthening Your Healthy Adult/Nurturing Parent ........................................... 28 Inner Child Guided Imagery Questions ............................................................ 29

• DAY 14: Right Hand/Left Hand Dialogue ...................................................................... 28 • DAY 15: The Inner Critic ............................................................................................. 32 • DAY 16: Mini Inventory ............................................................................................... 33 • DAY 17: Giving it Away • DAY 18: Making Amends ............................................................................................ 35

CONSCIOUS CHOICES .................................................................................................... 37

• DAY 19: Resentments and Forgiveness .......................................................................... 38 Self-Forgiveness ............................................................................................. 39

• DAY 20: Gratitude List ................................................................................................ 40 Reframing ..................................................................................................... 41

• DAY 21: Identifying Triggers ........................................................................................ 42 The 4 Questions ............................................................................................ 43 Closing .............................................................................................................................. 44

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THE STOP EATING YOUR HEART OUT: THE 21-‐DAY PROGRAM TO FREE YOURSELF FROM EMOTIONAL EATING WORKBOOK 3

INTRODUCTION • • • • •

Welcome to Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating Workbook. This workbook corresponds to the daily assignments given in Stop Eating Your Heart Out: The 21-Day Program to Free Yourself from Emotional Eating.

This workbook adds a new element! As you do the assignments, it’s as if you are creating your own

ASPIC. Now, that’s an old-fashioned word and it’s where our widely known Jello™ originated.

Jello™ is for everyone; aspic, on-the-other hand, was created just for the elite, for the genteel. And, because you are so special, YOU will be given the recipe!

Some interesting tidbits:

• An aspic is a mold, a structure; the ASPIC you create is also a mold or foundation.

• An aspic takes a long time to prepare; your ASPIC will take as long as it takes you to complete

this workbook.

• An aspic was only served on special occasions; because you’re choosing to do the

assignments, you can create every day as special!

• Aspics were served on fancy platters and your ASPIC is designed for the

uniqueness of YOU to honor your specialness.

• The ingredients are very important in an aspic; your ASPIC ingredients are uniquely yours.

• There are many aspic recipes; your ASPIC becomes a personal recipe for your transformed life.

• Aspics, of old, were exquisite creations; the ASPIC you create is your beautiful creation.

Ingredients:

Awareness. Get clarity on ways you’ve used food. Change begins with awareness.

Support. Create a support system as a safety net so you won’t feel alone.

Personal energy. Learn how to keep yourself energized so food isn’t a siren call.

Inner work. The past can be an energy drain. Clear away the wreckage of the past.

Choices. Be mindful. Empower yourself with conscious choices for a joy-filled life.

As you complete the assignments in this Workbook, you are creating your ASPIC, which forms your

foundation. The ingredients you add on your own as you do the assignments, create the special

flavor.

Emotional eating begins at birth when we learn that food (breast or bottle) instantly removes our pain (hunger). As adults, we’ve continued to use food to take away pain. And, as you complete this

Workbook, you will have an opportunity to explore other options. I wish you well on your journey!

Wishing you optimal health,


AWARENESS • • • • •

Chapters 1 & 2 of Stop Eating Your Heart Out

How can we change something if we are not aware of it?

Much of our waking hours is spent in trance. In fact, it is believed that we go into trance between 15 and 50 times an hour.

A simple definition of trance is to not be aware. For example, you might be driving a familiar route

and all of a sudden, as if waking from sleep, look around and you’re not sure where you are or

how you got there.

The AWARENESS section includes assignments for Days 1-3:

• Eating History

• Feelings and Needs

• Food-Mood Diary

• Journal

YOUR EATING HISTORY • • • • •

[Note: If you are working on an issue other than eating, wherever you see the words “eating” or “food,” substitute the habit you’re working on for those words.]

Think back in time as far as you can — what are your memories around food and eating, then respond to the following questions.

QUESTION YOUR RESPONSE

What was mealtime like around your house?

What did you do for breakfast before heading to school?

Did the family eat dinner together?

What was that like?

Were you praised for being a good eater?

Were you scolded for being a picky eater?

Were you always or never hungry?

What about big family gatherings — holidays? Celebrations?

Did you use food for comfort?_______________________________________________________________________________

When did it start?

If you had weight issues. When did they begin?

Are there certain foods you crave?

When did that start?

What did your caretakers say about your eating?

What messages did you give yourself about your eating?

Did you become a binge eater?

If so, when?


QUESTION YOUR RESPONSE

Do you feel out-of-control with food?

If so, when did that start?

Has food been your security blanket?

When did that begin?

Do you have children?

What was your message to them around food?

What was mealtime like with your children?

Are you following the “See Food” diet now: see food, eat it!

Are you vulnerable to advertisements around food and eating?

If so, which one?

Are you able to avoid certain substances (junk food?) as long as it is not in sight?

What foods can you not eat one of...it’s an automatic “eat the whole thing” if you start eating it?

Do you fee guilty about your eating?

Have you dieted?

Successfully or unsuccessfully?

What messages did you give yourself about it?

How satisfied are you with your body image?

What messages have others given you (childhood and beyond) and

what messages have you given yourself?_______________________________________________________________________________

When thinking about food and eating, what do you have the most remorse about?

FEELINGS AND NEEDS • • • • •

The following are words we use when we want to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to

support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate

greater understanding and connection between people.

There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met; followed by a needs inventory.

FEELINGS WHEN YOUR NEEDS ARE SATISFIED

AFFECTIONATE HOPEFUL REFRESHED EXHILARATED compassionate expectant enlivened blissful friendly encouraged rejuvenated ecstatic loving optimistic renewed elated open hearted rested enthralled sympathetic CONFIDENT restored exuberant tender empowered revived radiant warm open rapturous

proud GRATEFUL thrilled PEACEFUL safe appreciative calm secure moved ENGAGED clear-headed thankful absorbed comfortable EXCITED touched alert centered amazed curious content animated INSPIRED engrossed fulfilled ardent amazed enchanted mellow aroused awed entranced quiet astonished wonder fascinated relaxed dazzled interested relieved eager JOYFUL intrigued satisfied energetic amused involved serene enthusiastic delighted spellbound still giddy glad stimulated tranquil invigorated happy trusting lively jubilant

passionate pleased surprised tickled vibrant


AFRAID CONFUSED EMBARRASED apprehensive Ambivalent ashamed dread baffled chagrined foreboding bewildered flustered frightened dazed guilty mistrustful hesitant mortified panicked lost self-conscious petrified mystified scared perplexed FATIGUE suspicious puzzled beat terrified torn burnt out wary depleted worried DISCONNECTED exhausted

alienated lethargic ANNOYED aloof listless aggravated apathetic sleepy dismayed bored tired disgruntled cold weary displeased detached worn out exasperated distant frustrated distracted PAIN impatient indifferent agony irritated numb anguished irked removed bereaved

uninterested devastated ANGRY withdrawn grief enraged heartbroken furious DISQUIET hurt incensed agitated lonely indignant alarmed miserable irate discombobulated regretful livid disconcerted remorseful outraged disturbed resentful perturbed SAD

rattled depressed AVERSION restless dejected animosity shocked despair appalled startled despondent contempt surprised disappointed disgusted troubled discouraged dislike turbulent forlorn hate turmoil gloomy horrified uncomfortable hopeless hostile uneasy melancholy repulsed unnerved unhappy

unsettled wretched

FEELINGS WHEN YOUR NEEDS ARE NOT SATISFIED

TENSE anxious cranky

distressed distraught

edgy fidgety frazzled irritable jittery nervous

overwhelmed restless stressed out

VULNERABLE

fragile guarded helpless insecure leery reserved sensitive shaky

YEARNING

envious jealous longing nostalgic

NEEDS INVENTORY

The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support

anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater

understanding and connection between people.

CONNECTION PHYSICAL WELL-BEING MEANING AUTONOMY acceptance air awareness choice affection food celebration of life freedom appreciation movement/exercise challenge independence belonging rest/sleep clarity space cooperation sexual expression competence spontaneity communication safety consciousness closeness shelter contribution community touch creativity companionship water discovery compassion efficacy consideration HONESTY effectiveness consistency authenticity growth empathy integrity hope inclusion presence learning intimacy mourning love PLAY participation mutuality joy purpose nurturing humor self-expression respect/self-respect stimulation safety PEACE to matter security beauty understanding stability communion support ease to know and be known equality to see and be seen harmony trust inspiration warmth order

The contents of pages 7-9 can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows: (c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication

Website: www.cnvc.org Email: [email protected] Phone: 505-244-4041


FOOD-MOOD DIARY • • • • •

One of the first ways to increase awareness is paying attention to everything that you eat. If you

are reading this after you’ve already had a meal or two, it’s perfectly okay for you to start now.

Review your day to the best of your ability—what did you eat? When? Are you aware of precipitating events or feelings before you ate? As you continue to do this, you will become more

and more aware of the precipitating events and subsequent feelings that might be compelling you

to eat.

Use the list of feelings (that precedes this page) to help you identify what you’re

feeling. There are a few examples given below.

DATE/ TIME

FOOD

PRECIPITATING EVENT

FEELING(S)

Jan.108 AM

bagel & cream cheese

rushing to work

rushed, stressed

10:0 AM

M&Ms co-worker snubbed me hurt, lonely

12:30 PM

turkey sandwich, potato chips, coke

lunch time ??

4:30 PM

yogurt

left work early happy

6:30 PM

chicken, rice, salad dinner time content

9:00 PM

popcorn I didn’t get the call I

expected to receive

sad, disappointed

Now that you have the idea, begin filling out your own food-mood diary on the next page. Please

make as many copies as you need of the next page to keep track of your eating behavior.


DATE/

FOOD PRECIPITATING EVENT FEELING(S) TIME

DATE/ FOOD PRECIPITATING EVENT FEELING(S)

TIME


JOURNAL • • • • •

Instead of eating your feelings, begin the practice of journaling. You can write whatever is up for you and

keep writing until you get clarity for yourself. When you write every day for at least 10 minutes, you will

soon discover the magic of journaling!

SUPPORT • • • • •


Changing any behavior, pattern, or habit IS A BIG DEAL and we all need support to do it. There

are three main ways to receive support:

1. Support system: individuals and groups

2. Supporting self: self-care activities, self-talk

3. Spiritual support: meditation, prayer, creative visualization, vision boards.

The following assignments (for Days 4-6) build support and include:

• Conscious Breathing Chart

• Self-care Activities

• Have To’s and Shoulds

• Letter to Your Higher Power

• Prayer and Meditation

• Conscious Breathing Chart

• Creative Visualization and Vision Boards


CREATING A SUPPORT SYSTEM • • • • •

Have you checked out any 12 Step Recovery meetings? If not, please do so (and it’s recommended to try more than one if the first one doesn’t feel like a fit for you). There are also meetings online that

many are finding extremely helpful.

If 12 Step Recovery is not for you, list possible groups or places where you feel supported.

1.

2.

3.

Begin identifying your support people. These are the folks who can listen to you without judgment and

be there to support you.

List the qualities you are seeking in a buddy or support person:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Who fits that bill? 1.

2.

3.

It is not unusual to leave many spaces (above) blank and it just means the time is right to work on

building your support system.

“Finding supportive people or a support group meets our very important need to belong.”

– p. 40, Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

SELF-CARE ACTIVITIES • • • • •

It’s important to take better care of ourselves! What self-care activities would you enjoy adding to your daily activities?

Some ideas:

Indulge in a hot bath with candles or bath salts. Laugh. Pour yourself a cup of tea and relax for five

minutes. Do nothing for five minutes without the cup of tea.

Now create your list: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.


HAVE TO’S AND SHOULDS • • • • •

Write down at least 10 things you think you have to do or should do. An example is given to get you started!

HAVE TO I have to pay income tax.

SHOULD I should exercise.

Read your list aloud. Then re-write it, changing each HAVE TO > CHOOSE TO and each SHOULD > COULD.

ORIGINAL LIST 1. I have to pay income tax.

2. I should exercise.

REVISED LIST I choose to pay income tax. I could exercise.


THERAPY • • • • •

Mirasol Eating Disorder Recovery Center shared the following on Facebook:

“Just as a turtle hatchling's shell provides protection, eating disorders can also act as a shell, providing a sense of safety and security. Rather than judge the purpose the ED has served, simply

acknowledge when it is time to hatch and break free into a new dimension of living. The turtle

doesn't hate itself for having developed in its shell. It just moves onward.”

Although you might not have an eating disorder, per se, you might be using extra weight as

protection. It is not unusual to turn to food and extra weight in the case of rape and sexual

abuse. If you’ve had Trauma in the past and it is not healed, please see a trauma therapist to get help with the healing.

If not, what are your thoughts and feelings about seeing a therapist? Think about it for a few minutes and fill out the following:

Why seeing a therapist might be right for me at this time:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7. 8.

9.

10.

If the time feels right to see a mental health care provider, ask your friends and health-care

professionals for a referral. It is okay to interview several therapists before selecting the one you

want to work with. Choose someone you feel safe with, so that your therapy sessions become a place where you can open up and reveal yourself.

“Psychotherapy is a wonderful adjunct to any personal-growth path.”

p. 48 Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

Many compulsive overeaters are able to stop the obsession simply by using

the various tools discussed throughout this workbook. For others, it might be

necessary to see a psychotherapist to explore and work on

the feelings and issues that drive the repeated episodes of binge eating.

p. 46 Stop Eating Your Heart Out


LETTER TO YOUR HIGHER POWER • • • • •

Carve out some quiet time and find a private space to write your letter to God/Universe/Higher Power/Creator (whatever name/word you choose). Make sure

it is a Loving Presence. Open your heart and write your wants, your needs, your gratitudes, your frustrations — whatever you want to say. After completing

the letter, allow yourself to be still for a few minutes.

PRAYER AND MEDITATION • • • • •

Do you have a favorite prayer? The one that I say over and over again throughout the day is the 3rd

Step prayer from AA:

God, I offer myself to Thee- To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Begin and end each day in prayer, using one that you know and love or perhaps creating a new

one. It can be as simple as “Good morning/good night Higher Power. Thank you for this day.” Perhaps it is a prayer of thanksgiving combined with petition; perhaps it is a prayer for healing for

the highest good for yourself or another person. The importance is to be strengthening your

connection to the Divine.

Here's some space if you would like to write your own prayer.


MEDITATION Do you meditate? If so, please keep it up. If not, please try the different types of meditation and

begin making it a daily habit. You can find the “Conscious Breathing Meditation” on pages

66-67 and a description of other types on pages 68-70 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out. Stress

causes us to store cortisol and/or engage in emotional eating; both of which make us fat. And

meditation is a great stress-management technique!

The different meditations discussed in the book include:

1. Conscious breathing

2. Walking

3. Gazing

Do you have others to add to the list?

CONSCIOUS BREATHING MEDITATION CHART

• Sit or lie down with your spine straight.

• Place your tongue behind your top front teeth.

• Focus on your breath.

• Notice how the air moves in and out.

• Stay with this for 5-10 breaths.

• Put your hands on your belly and feel it rise with the inhale

• Breathe in through your nose. Pause.

• Breathe out through your mouth. Pause.

• Inhale (through nose), count.

• Pause.

• Exhale (through your mouth), count + 2.

• Pause.

• Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

THE STOP EATING YOUR HEART OUT: THE 21-‐DAY PROGRAM TO FREE YOURSELF FROM EMOTIONAL EATING WORKBOOK

21

CREATIVE VISUALIZATION AND VISION BOARDS

• • • • •

CREATIVE VISUALIZATION As you do the assignments, your relationship with food is evolving and changing. It also means you are able to feel your feelings and deal with them rather than shoving them down with food or using

food to numb out. Can you imagine yourself free of compulsive eating?

If you are interested in a visualization for weight loss, see pages 73-74 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

Questions to consider as you generate your own creative visualization:

1. See yourself as the person who is free from emotional eating with few cravings or urges. What does this look like?

2. How are you relating to food?

3. What do you do when the big, uncomfortable feelings arise?

4. Which is the most challenging feeling for you? Loneliness? Anxiety? Fear? Anger? Disappointment? Something else? How are you handling it?

5. Who are your support people?

6. What is your relationship like with your Higher Power?

7. What positive messages are you telling yourself?

As you see yourself free from emotional eating, bring in as many senses as you can and intensify them:

feel what you feel; hear what you hear; see what you see; smell what you smell; taste what you taste.

Once you are able to visualize this new way of being with feelings rather than using food, imagine

placing the scene into a large pink bubble. Watch the bubble as it floats up into the sky towards the

heavens and say something like, “This or something better, whatever’s for the highest good.”

VISION BOARDS

Do you enjoy the creative act of putting together a vision board? Choose images and pictures that represent what you want for yourself. Once your vision board is completed look at it each day knowing

that you are creating this, or something better! Stay positive. Visualize yourself having big feelings that

used to compel you to eat, and now see yourself dealing with the feelings without reaching for food.

Imagine that the emotional eating has ended and your relationship with food has changed: Food is for

nutrition plus enjoyment. How do you feel? How is your life different?

THE STOP EATING YOUR HEART OUT: THE 21-‐DAY PROGRAM TO FREE YOURSELF FROM EMOTIONAL EATING WORKBOOK

23

PERSONAL ENERGY WORK • • • • •

Chapter 5 of Stop Eating Your Heart Out

You’ve explored mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of personal growth in the previous

assignments, and now we add the energy component.

Dr. Oz said, “The next big frontier in medicine is energy medicine” and the focus in this module

is energy – exploring personal energy and learning several energy psychology techniques.

The PERSONAL ENERGY section includes assignments for Days 10-12:

• Protect Your Energy, Energizers and Drains

• EFT Directions and Diagram

• RITT Directions and Diagrams

• When to Tap

To learn the background of Energy Psychology and read a discussion about tapping, go to pages

79-91 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY • • • • •

The author Melody Beattie, important in the co-dependency field, wrote: “Become more aware of the

impact of things, people, and activities on you and your energy. What feeds you, charges you? What drains and depletes you? As you grow and become more sensitive to how things feel to you, you’ll naturally grow to dislike and be uncomfortable with whatever drains or negatively impacts your energy. Sometimes we need to let go of people, places, and behaviors that don’t work for us anymore, that drain, exhaust, and deplete

us. Pay attention to the impact of certain people, places, behaviors, and events on your energy. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods, drink certain beverages, go certain places. Be prepared to let go of some things and people along the way. Be gentle with yourself while you do.”

MONITOR YOUR ENERGY

Using the scale 1-10 (with 10 being high), periodically stop what you’re doing and assess your

energy level. If it is not high enough now or if it begins to drop, intervene with a personal energizer. When your energy gets low, food will beckon you. Some examples of personal energizers

include marching in place, laughing, taking a walk. Write some of your favorite personal energizers in

the spaces below.

Personal Energizers 1.

2.

3. 4.

5.

6. 7.

8.

9.

10.

Become conscious of what drains your energy and intervene as soon as possible. Writing a list

of Drains will help keep you mindful about them.

Drains 1.

2.

3. 4.

5.

6. 7.

8.

9. 10.

A Sending Energy Exercise can be found on pages 100-101 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES (EFT)

www.emofree.com

• • • • •

THE BASIC RECIPE Rate the degree of feeling or level of urge on a scale from 0 to 10 with zero being no feeling or no urge and

10 the highest intensity. 1. The Setup ... Repeat this affirmation 3 times:

"Even though I have this state problem, I deeply and completely accept myself”, while continuously

tapping the Karate Chop point or rubbing the Sore Spot.

2. The Sequence ... Tap about 7 times on each of the following energy points while repeating a

Reminder Phrase (focal point) at each point. (insert “remaining” when repeating sequence).

KC, TH, EB, SE, UE, UN, Ch, CB, UA, WR

The abbreviations for these points are summarized below in the same order: KC = Karate Chop

(the karate chop point is between the little finger and wrist on the side of the hand); TH= Top of Head; EB = Beginning of the Eye Brow; SE = Side of the Eye; UE = Under the Eye; UN = Under the Nose;

Ch = middle of chin; CB = Beginning of the Collar Bone; UA = Under the Arm; WR = Wrist

See page … for a diagram of the points.

SOME SETUP PHRASES: • _Even though I am angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though I am upset, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though I am frustrated, I deeply and completely accept myself. • _Even though I am sad, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though I am feeling jealous, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though I feel cheated, I deeply and completely accept myself. • _Even though I feel anxious, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though I am afraid, I deeply and completely accept myself.

SOME SETUP PHRASES FOR FOOD CRAVINGS: • _Even though I want to eat _____________________, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though _____________________ food is calling me, I deeply and completely accept myself.

• _Even though _____________________ is yummy, I deeply and completely accept myself. • _Even though _____________________ tastes delicious, I deeply and completely accept myself.

DIAGRAM OF POINTS

RAPIDLY INTEGRATED TRANSFORMATION TECHNIQUE (RITT™)

• • • • • Basic Directions: What’s your level of discomfort or craving (0 = none, 10 = intense)?Imagine you are a tree and will be clearing from the branches (the conscious mind) to the roots (the subconscious). As you lightly tap each point using two or three fingers, think about the issue/craving and read aloud what is in quotation marks. * 1. Karate Chop Point—tap outside edge of hand

Say: “I release this issue/craving to _____ (Higher Power, God, Spirit) to transform it and my

relationship to it, never to take it back or passively receive it back.

2. Heart Point—sore spot above left breast, gently rub in a circle toward shoulder

Say three times: “Even though I have this issue/craving, I totally and completely love and accept myself.”

3. Crown (top of head)—tap around in a circle Say: “I bring in Higher Power (Spirit/God/ Light) into all the branches to the deepest roots

around this issue/craving and ask for healing for the highest good.”

4. Eyebrow—tap where eyebrows start, near bridge of nose)

Say: “I release all the sadness in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

5. Under eye—tap on bone just under the center of each eye

Say: “I release all the fear in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

6. Under nose and chin (using sides of thumb and index finger, tap both spots at

once—side of index finger will be under nose & side of thumb will be on chin)

Say: “I release all the shame and all the embarrassment in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

7. Collarbone—tap two finger widths beneath inside of collarbones (close to breastbone) Say: “I release all the hurt and all the grief in all the branches to the deepest roots around this

issue/craving.”

8. Under Arm—tap spot about four inches below armpit, in line with nipple Say: “I release all the guilt in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

9. Third Eye—tap between eyebrows Say: “I release all the trauma in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

10. Inside wrist—tap where watchband would fasten, palm side of wrist Say: “I release all the pain in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

11. Lit t le finger (either hand)—tap on the side nearest the ring finger, next to the nail Say: “I release all the anger in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

12. Index Finger—tap the side nearest thumb next to the nail Say at least 3 of the following:

• “I release all the energy invested in this issue/craving so I can use the energy for my own

well-being; • I totally and completely forgive myself for forgetting that I am doing the best I can;

• I totally and completely forgive myself for allowing this issue/craving to disturb my

peace of mind; • I totally and completely forgive myself, and I intend to forgive everyone else involved;

• I totally and completely forgive myself, and I ask for the wisdom to see that everyone involved

was acting from a place of unmet needs.”

13. (Optional) Addiction point

Say: “I release the addiction in all the branches to the deepest roots around this issue/craving.”

Breathe. Reassess your level of discomfort or level of urge. Go to #14.

14. What positive do you want to bring in (peace, joy, etc.)? *

a. Close your eyes and remember when you felt that.

b. Tapping top of head say, “I bring in _______ into all the branches to the deepest roots around this

issue/craving. c. Say at each point: I bring in ________ and breathe it in.

d. Reassess level of discomfort. If above a 2, start again at #1

Copyright, 1998, 2012, Empowerment Training Center, Inc. and Meryl Hershey Beck. RITT™ may be freely disseminated, provided that it is quoted in its entirety, including headers and footers, that there is no charge for the information, and that this notice is included. For more information go to www,LearnRITT.com

*NOTE: First round: Hold each point and breathe out feelings; Second round: Bring in the positive and then allow an oxytocin breath at each point – Hahhhh, with pleasure!

http://www.LearnRITT.com http://www.StopEatingYourHeartOut.com

Contact Meryl at [email protected]

WHEN TO TAP • • • • •

1. Look through your food-mood diary. Notice the patterns. What feelings often cause

you to overeat or seek comfort in food?

2. Skim through your journal. Have you written about times when your emotions were

high? What are some memories that still bring up a lot of emotion for you?

3. When feeling stressed > tap

When any emotional discomfort arises > tap When you are craving something > tap

Make a list of occasions/feelings when you you’ll want to use the tool of tapping:

INNER WORK • • • • •


Inner work, or personal development, is the heart of the transformational work and is ongoing. When we go through a painful or difficult experience, we are often afraid of the pain or we don’t know how

to deal with it. So we busy ourselves, dismiss the feeling, overeat, or pretend that nothing has

happened. Although our feelings are buried or repressed, they stay in our muscles, organs, and energy field and can cause dis-ease.

In addition, the past is very often not over and done with but can intrude on the present, drain our

energy, and often is why we turn to food for comfort.

The INNER WORK section (for Days 13-18) is jam-packed and includes:

• Strengthening Your Healthy Adult/Nurturing Parent

• Inner Child Guided Imagery Questions

• Writing to Your Inner Child

• The Inner Critic

• Mini Inventory

• Making Amends

STRENGTHENING YOUR HEALTHY ADULT/ NURTURING PARENT

• • • • • Before doing inner child work or parts work, it is important to have a strong, healthy adult on

board that is connected to a loving Higher Power.

If your Loving Higher Power were asked to list 10 positive things about you,

what might those be? 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Is loving or compassionate or supportive on your list? If not, can you find a

loving/compassionate/supportive part of yourself?

Now own each of these qualities by reading the list prefacing each quality with the words, “I am.”

Breathe in the quality. Really own it.

INNER CHILD GUIDED IMAGERY QUESTIONS

• • • • • To listen to audio visit http://stopeatingyourheartout.com/audio/ and click on the Inner Child Guided

Imagery.mp3 link.

The Inner Child Guided Imagery on pages 119-120 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out gives you an opportunity to connect with a young part of yourself. After completing that visualization, answer these

questions:

1. Describe the child that was you? Age? Demeanor? List at least 5 characteristics here:

a.

b.

c.

d.

e.

2. What were your 2 main feelings when you first saw and connected to this child?

a.

b.

3. Was the child willing to leave the house with you? If so, what was it like for you to

walk out of the house hand-in-hand with this child?

4. List 2 emotions you were aware of after answering the questions above.

a.

b.

RIGHT HAND/LEFT HAND DIALOGUE

• • • • •

You have an opportunity to connect with your inner child, using the right-hand/left-hand writing technique, which is explained on pages 121-126 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

DH = Dominant Hand, the Healthy Adult/Nurturing Parent part

NH = Inner Child part.

[Note: Suggestions are given below. Begin and end with the DH]

DH: [I’d like to get to know you. Would you be willing to talk to me?]

NH: [with pen/pencil in non-dominant hand, allow the young part to answer you. If the answer is “no” ask what it needs to feel comfortable writing to you. When the answer is “yes,” proceed with

suggestions below].

DH: [Ask who, what, when, where and why questions, such as: What made you happy as a child? Or why did you start overeating?]

NH: [allow this part to respond, then continue asking questions AND being supportive and loving]

DH: [keep going as long as you want]

NH:

DH:

NH:

DH:_

NH:_

DH:_

DH: [always end with the DH thanking the Inner Child part for communicating]

THE INNER CRITIC • • • • •

What are the things that your inner critic says to you? List the top 5.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Pick a current or recent issue when the Inner Critic was being very vocal and either set up 2 chairs to

work with the different voices or use the Two Hands Talking technique.

• Allow one chair (or hand) to be the Inner Critic

• Allow the other chair (or hand) to be the Healthy Adult/Nurturing Parent part or your Higher Self.

• Let these 2 parts dialogue. Call on your Loving Higher Power to help the Healthy Adult find and use the most effective words.

• Continue allowing both parts to say what they need to say and to hear the other’s words.

• The Healthy Adult needs to have the last word to express appreciation for the Inner Critic’s communicating.

For examples of these techniques, see pages 130-133 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out.

MINI INVENTORY • • • • •

“Our past is not just the past, over and done with. Yesteryear continues to weigh on the present, and it can drag you down.” (p. 137 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out)

“Who you are today is a sum total of your previous experiences. Some of those experiences you would like to broadcast from the rooftops with pride. Other experiences you may be ashamed of and wish you could continue burying in the sand.” (p. 140 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out)

The time has come to clear out some of the past, by admitting behaviors and actions about which you feel shame or guilt.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Thinking about your past up to the present, write specifics about each of the following [for more

complete directions, see pages 144-145 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out]:

GLUTTONY

WRATH

SLOTH

ENVY

GREED

PRIDE

LUST

It’s been said “we are as sick as our secrets.” Is there anything else that you feel guilty about that you would like to write about here?

GIVING IT AWAY • • • • •

Now that you have completed your Mini-Inventory, it is important to give it away. Begin with your Higher Power, making sure it is a Loving Presence.

After reading it aloud, please fill out the following as if your Higher Power were writing

to you: Higher Power’s comments: Dear (your name),

Thank you for telling me all of this. Although you might be feeling distressed about your past actions and behaviors, I see that they came from a place of unmet needs such as:

a.

b.

c.

It took a lot of courage to write your inventory and then to read it to me, and I applaud you. Now go out and share it with a trusted friend, clergyman, therapist, sponsor, or your support person. With

much love,

Your Higher Power

After you’ve given away your inventory to another person:

Who did you read your inventory to?

What was that person’s response?

How are you feeling?

Great…you’ve gotten off to a good start!

Now decide who would be uncritical and supportive in hearing your Mini Inventory, and share it with

that person or persons. [For a complete list of directions, see pages 150-151 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out]

Congratulations! This was a huge step. Give yourself a big pat on the back and perhaps find a

way to reward yourself (other than food!)

MAKING AMENDS • • • • •

Make a list of individuals you have harmed throughout your life, whether intentionally or accidentally. It might have been physical harm or perhaps you took office supplies home with you from work. Look at your Mini Inventory (from page 33-34), too, and include those names here as well.

PERSON YOUR BEHAVIOR

[example] my parents

Helped myself to pastry in their freezer without asking and without telling them.

PERSON YOUR BEHAVIOR

Now that you have written the names and your behaviors, it is time to actually make the amends.

When possible, approach the individual—face to face, by phone, email, or postal mail and • Admit your mistake. • Ask for forgiveness. • Take whatever action is appropriate to rectify the wrongdoing. • Change the behavior.

[For further directions, see pages 156-158 in Stop Eating Your Heart Out]

CONSCIOUS CHOICES • • • • •


We began with Awareness and we return again to it, in a slightly different way. Living a conscious life

means, among other things, doing forgiveness work, being in gratitude, and choosing healthy eating.

The CONSCIOUS CHOICES section includes assignments for Days 19-21:

• Resentments and Forgiveness

• Gratitude List

• Reframing

• Identifying Triggers

• The 4 Questions

RESENTMENTS AND FORGIVENESS • • • • •

We cannot afford to hold onto any resentment!

Think about anyone or anything you resent. Look at the resentments you listed in your Mini Inventory.

Fill out the list below and use Tapping to release the resentments.

I resent because

and what I can do about it is .

I resent because


I resent because


I resent because


I resent because


I resent because


I resent because


SELF-FORGIVENESS • • • • •

In what ways have you been hard on yourself? What do you need to do to forgive yourself?

List below some of the areas for self-forgiveness. Do Parts Work, allowing the Healthy Adult

(connected to your loving Higher Power) to give empathy to that part of you that is self-critical.

I would like to forgive myself for:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

GRATITUDE LIST • • • • •

What is your energy level right now (0-10 scale with 10 being high)?

List 10 things you are grateful for:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Now re-assess your energy level. Did it go up? It often does when we focus on our gratitudes.

REFRAMING • • • • •

According to Wayne Dyer “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Fill in the chart below (an example has been done for you):

EVENT AUTOMATIC RESPONSE REFRAME

My washing machine overflowed and ruined the laminate floor.

Oh no! My floor is totally ruined! Now I can put in flooring that I

want and insurance will pay for it!

IDENTIFYING TRIGGERS • • • • •

What might trigger your emotional eating—people, places, specific foods, certain emotions, etc.

What can you do about it? Here are some examples:

TRIGGER OPTIONS

Watching TV at night when I am home alone, I want to snack.

1. Have healthy snacks available 2. Invite a friend over so I will be less tempted

When I have certain foods in the house, I find myself unable to resist eating them.

1. Tap 2. Keep trigger foods out of the house

THE 4 QUESTIONS • • • • •

When you’re conscious about your eating, your eating will change. Here are four questions to ask yourself, especially before having a snack:

1. Am I physically hungry?

2. Am I really hungry or am I choosing food to change the way I'm feeling?

3. What would happen if I allowed myself to be in my feelings rather than eat my feelings?

4. What would support me in doing this?

CONGRATULATIONS ON ALL

OF YOUR HARD WORK! • • • • •

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Blessings,

Meryl Hershey Beck Personal Growth Expert, Psychotherapist,

& Bestsell ing Author of Stop Eating Your Heart Out

Learn more about products and upcoming events: www.stopeatingyourheartout.com

Contact: [email protected] Join Meryl’s networks:

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