2 JAX AIR NEWS,NAS JACKSONVILLE, Thursday, September 27, 2007

FC1(SW) JENNIFER BIRT

Job title/command: NAS Jax

Hometown: Morehead City, N.C.

Family Life: Married, no kids.

Past Duty Stations: USS Philippine Sea, EPMAC New Orleans, USS Spruance

Career Plans: To retire from the Navy at 20 years.

Most Interesting Experience: Visiting Rome and Israel on deployment in 1998 and tak-ing a walk through history.

Words of Wisdom: Smile, it makes people-wonder what you are up to.

Job title/command: Management Assistant - CNATTU Jax

Hometown: Portsmouth, Va.

Family Life: Married with two children.

Past Duty Stations: Yokosuka, Japan

Career Plans: To finish school and pursue a career in the medical field.

Most Interesting Experience: Traveling and seeing interesting things while overseas.

Words of Wisdom: Enjoy every day as your last, any day wasted is a day gone that we can’t get back.

PATRICIA SCHAEFER

You are invited to the following Base Chapel Worship Services this Sunday:

Sunday - 8:15 a.m. - Holy Eucharist Episcopal 9:30 a.m. - Catholic Mass

11 a.m. - Protestant WorshipProtestant Sunday School program is

at 9:45-10:45 a.m., and Catholic CCD is 10:45 a.m.-12:15 p.m.

BySarahSmileySpecialContributor

Arecently submitted reader question has reminded me of a common dilemma surround-

ing military weddings. “Busy Bride” in San Diego asks, “My fiancée will be wearing his dress whites for our wed-ding, but my gown is actually candle-light white. Will we clash? Will can-dlelight white and white-white look tacky together?”

Before I answer this, let me first clarify the meaning of “candlelight white” for the male readers out there. All your life you thought you’d marry a girl in white. Now you hear your bride arguing with her mother about the merits of “eggshell” shoes and the camouflaging effect of “linen” nylons.

You’re not even sure what nylons are, but now you’re completely flum-moxed that they might come in an assortment of colors, one of them being named after the thing your mother used to put on the kitchen table.

Possibly you are panicked about not understanding your bride’s new lingo, and having already spent sev-eral weeks with your fiancée shaking her head at you in a disgusted way that reminds you of your elementary school librarian, all because you fool-ishly suggesting that an Xbox 360 be listed on your wedding registry, you are not about to take any chances guessing at what “candlelight white” might mean.

Therefore, my best suggestion is to spend several afternoons at your local paint store, because that’s how long it will take to learn and know all the possible shades of white. Yes, there are shades of white. Lucky for you, these shades have been made

more memorable with nifty names like “Oyster,” “Igloo,” “Marshmallow,” and even, “White Duck.”

These names are probably the paint industries way of helping out men. If you can’t guess that “Marshmallow” and “White Duck” are shades of white, you need more help than I can possi-bly give here.

Of course, the color of your bride’s wedding dress will not be called “Marshmallow” or “Igloo,” and I strongly discourage you from using these names in any sentence that also contains “wedding,” “dress,” “bride,” or “nylons.” Just to be safe, don’t use the word “marshmallow” in conjunc-tion with anything involving your fiancée. Actually, maybe you’d bet-ter just forget the word marshmallow altogether.

The color of your bride’s wedding dress will most likely be named after something that brings to mind delica-cy: “China,” “Antique,” “Ivory,” “Bone” (think collar bone, ankle bone, or the bone of a petite bird; do not think “dog bone”) and “Candlelight.” Whatever you do, don’t call the dress “white,” unless you want to remind her of the Xbox 360-coveting man that you are.

At this point, you might be wonder-ing with increasing anxiety how to describe the color of your uniform. If her clothes have fancy color names, yours must, too, right?

Now, go get a pen and paper because you’ll want to write this very impor-tant information down. Whatever you do, and no matter what you say, it is crucial, for the sake of a happy wed-ding, and possibly a happy marriage, that you never forget the color of your uniform, which is white. Yes, white.

Your type of white doesn’t have a special name, which is a subliminal

way of reminding you of your virtual-

ly unimportant role as the groom. At

this point, the ceremony could actu-

ally take place without you, so long

as the flowers match the bridesmaids’

shoes and the bride’s earrings compli-

ment the buttons on her dress.

To be perfectly honest, when it

comes to your attire, no one would

even care if you wore the same suit

you wore to your high school gradu-

ation, because no one, except maybe

your own mother, will be looking at

you on your wedding day. The pho-

tographer will take dozens of pictures

of you with your groomsmen, and you

might, for a brief second, think this

elevates you to the importance of the

bride and her bridesmaids.

But you will soon learn when it is

time to choose photographs for the

wedding album that the first pictures

to be eliminated from consideration

will be any that (1) include your goofy

friends and (2) don’t include the bride.

So, to review, her dress will look

white, but it will be called something

else—something feminine and deli-

cate. Your uniform will look white,

and it is white, but that is absolutely

unimportant and beside the point.

Which, by the way, to get back

to the original reader’s question, is

exactly what I’d tell the bride.

Sarah Smiley can be reached for

comments at www.sarahsmiley.

com.

Hey, MoneyMan!I got an invitation in

the mail to an educational investment seminar where they are offering a free steak dinner! Yum! Let me get this straight, a free meal and free advice? Is this too good to be true?MoneyMan sez:

Kudos to you for asking this question. A steak din-ner sounds nice, especially for free, but be ready to lis-ten to the company pitch their product.

According to a new report by the Securities and Exchange Commission which examined 110 invest-ment seminars that prom-ised not to sell anything….turns out exactly 100 per-cent of these meetings did turn out to do just that, sell a product.

Not only that, but one-third of the seminars were selling unwise investment recommendations. How do

you know if you are dealing

with an organization that

might be sketchy?

Listen to their tactics,

are they using any of the

following: promising high

returns for little or no risk,

telling you there is a lim-

ited window of time you can

join in or bragging about all

of the rich people that have

invested in their product.

If you want to go the

extra mile, call and ask for

the promoter’s credentials.

Often times these folks are

not even licensed to sell

such items. The bottom line

to remember, there’s no

such thing as a free lunch

or dinner.

More questions? Call Hey

MoneyMan at 778-0353.

Will uniform white and candlelight white clash on wedding day?

ON THE HOMEFRONT

HEY MONEYMAN!

FilephotoTheNASJacksonvilleFireDepartmentequipmentinfrontofBuilding105.

Looking back in time . . .

NASJacksonvilleCommandingOfficer.................. Capt.JackScorbyJr.NASJacksonvilleExecutiveOfficer...........................Capt.SteveHolmesCommandMasterChief.................................CMDCM(SW)ChrisGreenPublicAffairsOfficer............................................................ RickCrewsAssistantPublicAffairsOfficer..................................... MiriamS.Gallet

NavalAirStationJacksonvilleEditorialStaffEditor........................................................................... KayleeLaRocqueAssistantEditor.................................................. AO1(AW)RonMcClainStaffWriter..........................................MC2(AW/NAC)KaitlynPattersonDesign/Layout................................................................GeorgeAtchley

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month Rally is MondayFromFFSC

The NAS Jax Fleet and Family Support Center in collaboration with Hubbard House and Quigley House are hosting the annual Domestic Violence

Awareness Month Walk and Rally Monday at 10 a.m. at Patriot’s Grove. The walk and rally are being held to kick-off Domestic Violence Awareness Month which is in October.

Keynote speakers for the event will be NAS Jax Commanding Officer Capt. John Scorby Jr., Al Emrick, co-founder of Men Against Violence Against Women, Ellen Siler, chief executive officer of Hubbard House and Sharon Youngerman, executive director of Quigley House.

For more information and to RSVP by tomorrow, please call Amy Sulzmann at 542-2766, Ext. 131 or email amy.sulzmann.ctr@navy.mil or James Vanderburg at 542-2766, Ext. 120 or email james.vanderburg.ctr@navy.mil.