Supporting your Child Through Uncertain Times

Tips, tools and strategies for the

transition to summer and

beyond

Introductions

• Dr. Gary, School Psychologist

• Ms. Sonsire, School Social Worker

• Mrs. Santarpia, Principal

• Presentation will be emailed to all participants

• We will have time for questions at the end but if you have a specific concern please reach out to one of us after the presentation.

As the school year comes to a close, some questions you may be asking...

• What do I say to my child when they ask if they are going back to school in September?

• Many camps and sports programs are closing. What am I going to do with them all day, every day this summer?

• How can I create a daily schedule for my child?

• Do I even need a schedule?

• What do I do if my child's behavior is concerning me over the summer? What if they are isolating themselves or if all they want to do is play video games?

• How can I care for myself so I can be the best parent I can be?

• Unfortunately, we still don't know what school will look

like in September, however a re-entry task force is hard

at work

• As human beings, we want to know what the future will

bring.... knowing provides us with a sense of comfort

and control

• In these uncertain times, we face the reality of "not

knowing"

• This is the time to shift our mindset (which isn't always

easy) and focus on controlling the controllables

Dealing with uncertainty

Circles of Control Activity

• Empower your child to write, draw, or

talk about the things in their life they

can control and the things they can't

• Consider hanging positive messages

around the home to remind them (and

the family) to focus only on what they

can control on a daily basis

Strategies for supporting anxious kids

• Anxiety often stems from thoughts about uncertainty or safety, which are then strengthened by avoidance or reassurance seeking behaviors (asking repeatedly that everything is ok).

• Anxiety can have both physical as well as mental symptoms. Don't dismiss that a child's stomach really does hurt even if they are not sick.

• Try to understand and clarify fears: Ask, "What are you afraid will happen?". Many kids may have overheard conversations or talked to their friends and have a skewed understanding of certain things.

Strategies for supporting anxious kids

• Validate their feelings, and don't be dismissive (i.e., you're fine, stop worrying) and keep an open dialogue

• Model good coping skills yourself and talk out loud about what you do to feel better

• Emphasize what they can control and the likelihood of certain outcomes (e.g. most things people worry about are very unlikely to happen)

• Coping strategies• Coping thoughts: It's never as bad as the worst, nobody's perfect, if I don't try, I'll never know, this is hard/

uncomfortable, but I can do it

• Physical methods to calm anxiety: Diaphragmatic breathing (imagery helps young kids- such as pretending to smell a flower or blow out a birthday candle when breathing), progressive muscle relaxation (systematically tensing and untensing different muscle groups), teaching them to "ride the wave"

• Writing/drawing about feelings/fears

Tips if your child is anxious about transitioning to a new building

• Don't dismiss feelings of anxiety/uncertainty but validate that everyone is a little nervous when they are starting something new, and that there are a lot of people to help.

• Acknowledge that while we may not know the plan for sure about what school will look like in September, a lot of the structures will be the same when school starts (e.g. specials, ride the bus) and the teachers will show them everything they need to know.

• Other things that may help:• Ask for a transition book (Pictures of the new school and important people/rooms)- Reach out to your

current mental health staff for this

• Drive by the new school to look at it from the outside (e.g. the building itself, playground) and look at the school information on the website

• Attend the open school days/ orientations when they are scheduled

• Write an email/letter to the new teacher sharing some information about yourself

• Check out the teacher's website

What if I'm concerned about my child's behavior?

Life experiences affect children in different ways. A common question from parents and caregivers is specifically regarding what signs and symptoms may indicate that their child may benefit from mental health services or supports. Some common signs to be attentive to include:

❑ Changes in mood❑ Isolation❑ Constant sadness❑ Constant worries❑ Changes in appetite❑ Irritability❑ Aggression❑ Negative thoughts about themselves❑ Self-harming behaviors❑ Exposure to traumatic experience

❖ Some of these symptoms may be present within a normal range. However, if these symptoms start affecting and hindering your child's daily functioning, it is crucial to seek mental health support.

Mental Health Resources

• https://childmind.org/coping-during-covid-19-resources-for-parents/

• Responding to Children's Emotional Needs During Times of Crisis

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-

wellness/Pages/Responding-to-Childrens-Emotional-Needs-During-

Times-of-Crisis.aspx

• How to support children with

worries: https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-

children-are-anxious/

• Online Support Group for

Parents https://www.parents.com/news/supports-for-parents-during-

covid-19-pandemic/

Additional Mental Health Supports

• Stony Brook University Hospital COVID-19 Resources and Resiliency

Tools: https://www.stonybrookmedicine.edu/covid19support/children_fam

ilies

• OMH Emotional Support Helpline: 1-844-863-9314 *

The Emotional Support Helpline provides free and confidential support,

helping callers experiencing increased anxiety due to the coronavirus

emergency. The Helpline is staffed by volunteers, including mental health

professionals, who have received training in crisis counseling.

• Diagnostic, Assessment, and Stabilization Hub (DASH) https://www.fsl-

li.org/help-services/diagnosis-assessment-and-stabilization-hub-dash/

Additional Mental Health Support

• Response Crisis Hotline: https://www.responsecrisiscenter.org/

• Suffolk County Psychological Association: Find a

psychologist: http://www.suffolkpsych.org/find-a-psychologist-

search.asp

• Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

Self-care for children

• One of the greatest tools we can

teach our children is how they can

care for their mental and

emotional health

• We do this by empowering them

to use coping strategies and

engaging in behaviors daily that

promote well-being

Caring for the caregiver

• A lack of self-care can create a downward spiral. You are likely to feel stressed out and overwhelmed when you are not caring for yourself, which makes it tougher to be an empathetic and patient parent. In turn, you might feel guilty and overwhelmed—self-care may be the last thing on your mind.

• Taking care of your spiritual, physical, psychological, and social needs will help you feel your best so you can be the best parent you can be. It’s important to set aside a little bit of time for self-care even when you feel like you don’t have a single second to devote to yourself. While there are many different self-care strategies for parents, it’s important to experiment with them to figure out which strategies work best for you.

Self-care for parents

Reflection

Take a moment to reflect on where we are and how far we have comeTake a

moment

Acknowledge the challenges we have all endured while transitioning to remote learning while also dealing with a worldwide pandemicAcknowledge

Give yourself credit for the positive ways you have supported your child and family, for any silver linings you can glean from this situationGive credit

Summer 2020

• While many will breathe a sigh of relief, others will be feeling the stress of how to structure their child's summer days with limited camps, sports and programs

• If you choose to create a daily structure, consider:

• Sitting with the family and having the children contribute to a list of activities they may choose from and are manageable for working or non-working parents

• Create a visual schedule, either fixed or interchangeable

• Allow time for your children to RELAX! They have endured tremendous changes over the past 4 months. Like their parents, they may need downtime as well.

Ideas for activities

• Let your kids plant a mini-garden. If they are in charge of it, then they will have to go outside to water, weed and watch over it.

• Help your kids built a fort outside with a rope and an old sheet. Suggest other items that might be fun for them to use on their fort.

• Go for regular walks, bike rides or runs as a family.

• Have a picnic lunch at the playground, park, backyard

• Create an outdoor scavenger hunt where your kids collect items from nature.

• Turn your yard into an obstacle course (let the kids help set it up or design it themselves). Use cones, sticks, a hula hoop, and other items from your garage or backyard to create fun obstacles.

Ideas for activities

• Play with water. Kids will jump at the chance to go outside and splash in

water. There are lots of creative ways to do it: wash the car, water the garden, run

through sprinklers, go down slip-n-slide, jump in blow up pool, or build a water

table.

• Make Sidewalk Art. Give your kids a big bucket of sidewalk chalk and let them go

to town. Give them some ideas with printed photos, or even stencils to color with.

• Star gaze, or look for shapes in clouds. Set up a blanket, binoculars or a telescope

and enjoy the sky!

• Play with water balloons

• Teach games like freeze tag, hide and seek, red light green light, mother may I.

https://www.superhealthykids.com/kid-fitness/31-outside-activities-for-kids/

Ideas for activities

• Chores/ other household tasks or responsibilities

• Family movie night (current movies, classics, etc)

• Card games, board games (e.g. monopoly, Life, etc)

• Cooking/ Baking together

• Independent time (reading, video games/ipads, coloring,

watching TV, independent play)

Additional Resources for Summer

• Smithtown Library Virtual Children's Programs: https://smithlib.org/childrens-

programs/children-s-nesconset-programs

• Huntington Library Resources: http://www.thehuntingtonlibrary.org/24-7-

services/monthly-programming/today-s-programs-events.html

• REACH Community and Youth Agency: https://reachcya.org/

Summer Resources (cont'd.)

• https://www.yamd.org/arts-learning-kids/ Arts and Learning Kids: Classes and activities for children

kindergarten through fifth grade

• https://www.findingnature.org/ Child & Nature Network: Various activities and resources to connect children to

nature.

• https://www.pta.org/home/family-resources/coronavirus-information#resources National PTA COVID-19

Resources.

• https://pbskids.org/apps/pbs-kids-video.html PBS KIDS. App download for access to PBS KIDS videos

• https://www.commonsensemedia.org/resources-for-families-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic Common Sense

Media: Resources for parents for at home learning and activities. https://www.greatschools.org/gk/coronavirus-

• school-closure-support/ Great Schools.org: Coronavirus support page with grade level activities and learning

experiences along with parenting advice.

Thank you!

Dr. Gary: School Psychologist: lgary@commack.k2.ny.us

Ms. Sonsire: School Social Worker: tsonsire@commack.k12.ny.us