supe up your supervisor skills conflicts3

7/30/2019 Supe Up Your Supervisor Skills CONFLICTS3

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Supe Up Your Supervisor Skills

Training and Development for theFrontlines Hidden Heroes

PART 3:VALUES/CONFLICTS


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Perception: What Do You See?


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Values: Yours and Mine

Use of time

Policies

Age

Gender

Friends

Health

Love

Money

Differences between our values and thoseof others can be a source of conflict. Areasfor values clarification include:


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Defining What You Value

1. It must be prized and cherished

2. It must be chosen from among alternatives

3. It must be chosen freely, without coercion

4. It must be chose after thoughtfulconsiderations of the consequences

5. I/We must be willing to publicly affirm it

6. We must act on it repeatedly

7. It must be consistent with other values weprofess


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Example: Values Conflict

Employer wantsemployee to work

overtime a lot,

even at short

notice

Family comes first;

employee does not

want to work extra

hours


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A

ssertiven

ess

CooperationLow

High

Denial/Avoiding

Power/Competing

Compromising

Negotiation/

Collaborating

Accommodating

5 Conflict Handling Styles


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Conflict Handling Style:

Compromising What Happens:

Negotiation with give and take of each party

Solution is somewhere in the middle

Appropriate to Use When:

Individuals are committed to the process

Willing to give enough to make solution work

Confidence that a solution can be reached

Inappropriate to Use When:

Individuals not willing to give in a little Original positions are too far from the middle

Parties dont believe in negotiating


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Denial/Avoiding

What Happens: Nothing is said; no effort to talk Unsure of what to do Fearful of what might happen

No commitment to improve the relationship Appropriate to Use When:

Issue is not very important Emotions too strong or timing not right Need to gather more information

Inappropriate to Use When: Issue is really important Not resolving will escalate and make it worse,

or more difficult to resolve later on


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Conflict Handling Style:Accommodating

What Happens: Suppress or smooth over conflict Downplays differences Emotions are controlled Goals are unclear

Appropriate to Use When: Issue is not very important Timing is not right Relationship is more important, as long as

both parties take turns

Inappropriate to Use When: Issue is important Others are willing to work towards resolution Minimizing problem will escalate the issue


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Power/Competing

What Happens:

Relies on authority that comes from onesposition

Appropriate to Use When:

Individuals unable to settle themselves

Speed is of the essence

Inappropriate to Use When:

When those in conflict have no opportunity to

express their needs or fulfill their self-interest Parties may not be committed to act on adictated solution


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Negotiation/ Collaborating What Happens:

Reach consensus Usually a creative solution that makes everyone happy Emphasis is on finding solution to the problem by talking at

length until one is found that each person can accept

Appropriate to Use When: Everyone committed to process Know and follow guidelines and time to devote Healthy desire to work together

Inappropriate to Use When: No commitment or training in the process

Not enough time to see process through Highly competitive people would have a difficult time to use

this method


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Case Studies-Conflict Styles


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Feedback Model

CARE Feedback

Clearly describe behavior

Address reactions to behavior

Realistic expectations shared

Expected result identified


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Example Using CARE Model:Let someone know how helpful theyve been

meeting a difficult deadline.


Ingrid, Im very grateful for the extra time you put inlast week to finish coding the statements for ourproject.

Address reactions to the behavior

You not only saved everyone time and preventedconfusion, your methodical approach is also easy foreveryone to grasp

Realisticexpectations shared

I know I can count on you in the future.

Expected results

Ill keep my eyes open for other opportunities for you toshine!


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Example Using CARE Model:Let Josh know he missed an opportunity to win

over an upset customer.


Josh, Id like to share a way you can handle an angry customerby paraphrasing what he said right at the beginning of the call.


This will let your customer know youve heard his concern andcare about him


You could say something like, Mr. Jones, I can appreciate howupset you are about xxx not arriving on time.

Expected results

Ill e-mail you several words to use when paraphrasing. Trythem during your calls today, and Ill check back with youtomorrow to see how its going.


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Practice Example: Worksheet

Use the CARE Model to let someone know they used the wrongscreens in the system, and gave out inaccurate info.




Expected results


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Practice: Possible Answer

Clearly describe behaviorI just observed your last call and Id like to give you thecorrect process to follow for shipping xyz product.

Address reactions to the behaviorYouve put the customer address in the wrong screen, soshipping will not have the correct information, and thecustomer will be upset when they dont receive xyz.

Realistic expectations sharedLet me show you now the process and well correct theinformation from your last call, and show you in theknowledge base where to check the process the nexttime.

Expected resultsPlease print out the process from the knowledge base,and go through your other records to be sure youve putin the information correctly. Gretchen on your team canhelp you immediately if you run into any problems.


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Guidelines for Managing Conflict

Separate Individuals from Position Taken

The point being made here is.

Focus on Interest, Not Position

So what you really would like to see happen is Create Options for Mutual Gain

What if you did x and I did y,. That would work forme. Would it work for you, too?

Agree When There is a Win

So, then, we are all comfortable with the solution,right?


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Self-Mediation Technique*

Find a Time to Talk

Plan the Context

Talk it Out

Make a Deal


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Find a Time to Talk

Ask

When can wemeet to discussour opinions?

Identifyspecifically whatyou want to talkabout

Respectfullyrequest time

Jo, do you have a minute to

talk about our earl ier

conversation about the work I

did for the team? Imuncomfortable with not

understanding what you found

unacceptable. Are you wil l ing

to meet to talk about this so we

can reach an agreement for

future work?


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Plan the Context

Open with an expressionof appreciation andoptimism

Agree on cardinal rules No interruptions

Agree on stop time

No power or force for

one sided solution State issue

I appreciate your

willingness to meet

with me to talk thisout. Im hopeful well

have a solution that

will benefit both of

us. Please tell me

how you see the work

I did wasnt

complete.


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Talk It Out

Restate to clarify whatyou heard from theother person

Ask Questions toClarify

Non-judgmental tone

Check in for accuracy?

What I hear you

say is that youre

concerned I didntinclude opinions

of our part time

staff in the survey.

Is that correct?


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Make a Deal

Possible Alternatives

What I will do

What you will do

Okay, so Ill repeat the

survey for the part time staff.

You will get me a list of theirnames, including third shift,

by tomorrow. Ill share the

results at our next results

meeting on the 25th.


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Expressing Feelings and Listening

Express Feelings with IMessages:

I feel

I am upset by

I do not like itwhen

Express What You Want

I want you to

I wish you would

Express Appreciation of

I appreciate yourposition

I imagine you feel

Express What HeardBefore Respond

I understand.

I heard you say

Express what will do.. I can

I will

I plan to.


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The Defensive Reaction

Defensiveness Often OccursWhen:

1. Person feels evaluated vs

2. The persons attitude isindifference vs

3. The other person acts superior vs

4. You feel like theres a strategy vs

5. The other person has control overyou and your life vs

6. No trust exists! vs

Defensiveness is LESS LIKELY toOccur When:

1. A persons behavior is describedwithout judgment or evaluation

2. The persons attitude is empathetic

3. The other person appears to be equalto you

4. Information is available and freeflowing

5. People want to work together toresolve the conflict

6. Trust is demonstrated

supe up your supervisor skills conflicts3

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