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Stress - Q & A

This fact sheet lists a range of questions on stress which were posted by visitors to theBetter Health Channel. Our experts provide the answers.

Q. What are the common signs of stress? How can you tell when you are burnt out

at work?

The most common early signs of stress include:

Disruption to sleep, such as taking longer to get to sleep or waking up more often

during the night

Feeling tense

Increased irritability

Increased worry Difficulties concentrating.

In relation to burnout, there are some specific signs, including:

Persistent feelings of emotional exhaustion

Depersonalisation feeling as though things around you are not real or

withdrawing from other people

Ineffectiveness not being able to function well at work or home.

Sometimes, stress symptoms can be temporary and resolve over a few days; sometimes,

they can persist or progress into more serious, stress-related health problems. In general,if you notice any particular changes in your sleeping pattern, eating or drinking

(especially alcohol) patterns, day-to-day moods, concentration and physical functioning

(at work, at home and socially), you should do something about it.

If you are concerned about measuring your level of stress, you could consult a

psychologist who works in the stress area. They will ask you to complete one of thestandard stress assessment questionnaires and provide feedback and suggestions for

appropriate strategies and techniques to reduce your stress.

Q. I stress myself out all the time. Im always changing my life around and stressing

everybody else around me. Am I selfish?When people feel stressed, they tend to become more self-focused and preoccupied. This

is because they feel personally threatened and they are trying to cope with the stress inorder to feel safer. In evolutionary terms, threat was often a physical reality; now the

threat is often more psychological. Either way, self-preservation becomes our top priority.

This usually changes when the stress is addressed and the person becomes more able torefocus and take part in what is going on around them.

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If you experience a frequent need to change your life around, its likely that something

is out of balance and having an emotional impact. If you are disruptive to people around

you, this is also an indication that something is unsettling you. Both problems indicatethere is an issue in your life that could be addressed more directly.

It could be an issue of clarifying your direction and priorities in personal life or yourcareer. It could be a stress-related issue or an underlying unresolved emotional difficulty.

Seeking advice (from a psychologist, for example) to address whatever it is that prompts

your frequent changes could be very helpful to reduce the disruptions in your life.

Q. I know some people who stress out if they cant cope with a situation. Wouldnt it

be better if people learnt how to deal with stress, so they can then deal with its

cause? And how do you get people to understand this?

I agree its best if people do not get inappropriately stressed; for people to change their

lifestyle, they first need to want to change. Wanting to change is often related to

understanding the real causes of their distress or to appreciating the positive benefits of

change. Learning to deal with stress more effectively is the next step.

If this is an organisational situation, it is possible for management to introduce stressreduction programs and encourage staff to attend. If its a partner or friend who is

stressed out, some possible steps you could take would include:

Share your own experience of the gains of stress management

Invite the stressed person to a public lecture on stress management

Leave stress management material in a place where it might catch their attention

and spark an interest

Share some of your brief observations about their stressed condition, but care

needs to be taken here your comments may be seen as intrusive and stressful.Understanding how to communicate effectively will help you do this.

Q. How can I help someone who is feeling stressed without taking on their stress?

It sounds like you may have some boundary difficulties with people, taking onboard their

problems too much rather than recognising they need to solve them personally. Thismeans you have problems maintaining your own energy and tend to get overly involved

in other peoples stress. There is a useful bookBeyond co-dependency by Melody Beattie

that may help in this regard.

Q. I find myself becoming angry quickly without good reason. I also swear when Im

angry. Im unhappy with both as they are detrimental to my family life.Its not clear whether this is a long-standing bad habit, developed as a means of gettingyour own way, or if it occurs more when you are under pressure, feeling tense and

irritable. Either way, there are a number of effective psychological approaches you can

take to help manage and reduce anger.

Most recommended approaches are based on the early work of psychologist Raymond

Novaco who suggested that, in practical terms, you treat anger as a habit problem made

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up of a number of different stages. These include pre-provocation, provocation,

frustration build-up and then the expression of anger.

Look at what is making you angry

In our everyday experience, these stages are hard to identify and often seem fused

together this is because the anger seems to just erupt and its hard to identify specifictriggers. So the first steps involve increasing awareness of the process by regularly

reviewing and analysing situations in which you have expressed anger. This review

process also starts to condition you to become more aware of and alert to the stages thatcome before your angry outbursts.

At each stage, there are techniques that may be used to help reduce the tendency of the

anger to continue building to the point where it bursts out. It is a question of where youcan achieve the most benefit and this may be different for each person. This means that a

different combination of techniques will suit different people.

Sometimes the initial triggers are in the situation, such as feeling that something is notfair. Or you might be reminded subconsciously (without you realising it) of some

feeling or reaction from earlier in your life, like being bullied at school. Sometimes thetriggers are internal, such as strong expectations about the way things should be done or

how people should act in certain situations. There can also be a contribution from stress

and tiredness we all become less tolerant when we are under pressure or feeling low in

energy.

Anger self-management

There are a number of good anger management self-help books available but I wouldrecommend that you kick-start your anger management program by consulting a mental

health professional who works in the field. You would only need a few sessions to

develop your program and then you could self-manage it from there and begin to reducethe fallout on your family life.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Psychologist

Psychiatrist

National Psychologist Referral Service Tel. 1800 333 497