Marriage and Family InteractionHPER F258

Kathleen R. Gilbert, Ph.D.Indiana University

Write a letter assignment at http://www.indiana.edu/~hperf258/activities/write-letter.html

We will discuss this at the beginning of class on April 17.

Developed from 4,000 studies of stress and coping in families

Both normative and non-normative stressors

Family focused, not individual (in fact, some things that are functional for family may or may not be functional for individuals (and vice versa)

F = clear and acceptance, D = unclear and denial They know what is causing the stress in the

family and, at minimum, do not deny its seriousness or its reality.

Denial may be functional coping for individuals but is not for family as a system.

F = family centered, D = individual centered “Ours” vs. “yours” Work together as a team

F = solution oriented, D = blame oriented Looking for ways to solve problem, resolve

differences vs. getting “stuck” in looking for who to blame

Future orientation instead of past More positive view

F = high, D = low This is tolerance of differences within the

family Agree to disagree

F = clear and direct, D = unclear and indirect Family is seen as of prime importance Sometimes willing to treat family as more

important than self Affection = “Doing out of caring”

F = open and supportive, D = unclear and indirect No mixed messages Clear and focused on the issue Not intended to manipulate

F = high, D = low The closer the family is, the better Facilitates family working as a team to solve a

problem or resolve an issue

F = flexible and shifting, D = rigid The more flexible the role assignments, the

greater the likelihood that the family can adapt to deal with stress or disruption to the family system

F = balanced to high, D = low to none Availability AND willingness to use

resources Both internal and external resource are

relevant, but if external not use, will deplete internal.

(Also possible that is a problem if resources used so that they do not take back control/responsibilities)

F = absent, D = present This includes all forms of the use of physical

pain for control Includes corporal punishment of children

F = infrequent to none, D = frequent Seems obvious, but is not restricted to illegal

drugs, also includes tobacco products and alcohol

Includes OTC (over-the-counter) and certain prescription drugs(as possible indicators of problems elsewhere)

this is in addition to F&McC's list F = dynamic, D = static, regressive

The general view of the family is that they are not “stuck” at some point in the resolution of the stress, but are moving forward with it.

In your small group, discuss: How does your family deal with stress in conflicts?

Consider the following: When is my family most 'vulnerable' to stress

overload? When is conflict most likely to occur? How do I know tension is building? Words or phrases that usually "set people in my

family off? Topics that we avoid to avoid conflict? Things I say to myself when tension is building in

my family? How does my family respond in stressful situations

Identify one point in the lecture that you could use to deal with stress you might experience in any current relationship (romantic or otherwise).