Steven GoldfarbPint of Science

Le Scandale, 21 May 2014

MY LIFE AS A PROTON

Me

My Origins

Family Tree

About My Parents

Childbirth

My Sister and I

Growing Up

I am 13.8 billion years – 0.0001s old

Adolescence

Childhood Ponderings

What am I made of?And what can I become?

10-15 mproton

matter

10-14 mnucleus

10-10 matom

10-9 mmolecule

<10-18 mquark

What is my destiny?

How long will I live?

What are these forces pulling on me?(and why are they so different?)

1

0.01

0.00001

0.00000000000000000000000000000000000001

It’s hard to be positive all the time!

My First Electron (She was only 400,000 years old!)

Marriage

Alternatives

Where did all my anti-friends go?

Early Career

Becoming A Star (300 million years old)

Caught Up In The Revolution

What’s holding us together?

Dark Matter

Bad Accounting

The Journey to Geneva

Milky Way

Solar System

Earth

Geneva

Dedicating My Life To Science

Uncle Fred, The Higgs Candidate

Candidate…

The Large Hadron Collider at CERN

The ATLAS Experiment

The CMS Experiment

The ALICE Experiment

The LHCb Experiment

Current Ponderings

My Office

Will I ever get out of this bottle?

Will I make it to the LHC?

Will I collide?

What will I become?

Will I be famous?

Probability

Odds of getting out of the bottle 0.5Odds of making it to the LHC 0.1Odds of colliding 0.1Odds of one of my quarks or gluons colliding 10-7

Odds of becoming a Higgs boson 10-9

Odds of being detected 10-3

Chance at fame? 10-22

Is it all worthwhile?

Let’s do the calculation…

Yes!Now, enjoy your pint!