Stepping Stones

Guruprasad R

What stops ?• How much is a person’s capacity to achieve something?• How do we know how much is an individual’s potential?• How do we know where we lag?• What are the states of mind that limits a person’s achievements?• What are the states of mind that a person has to overcome?• How to identify what is missing in me, to improvise myself ?

States of mind – The real Desperados

• Anger Management• Fear• Laziness• Reluctance• Greed• Ego• Human Relationships

• Listening• Communication• Competence• Planning• Patience• Perseverance• Acceptance

Can you really identify which of the below is your real desperado ? Be frank…Be rational…Everything below is just a state of mind…

Anger Management

• Is my Anger Valid ?• Is this going to help tackle the situation ?• Will my anger worsen the problem ?• Have I thought about alternatives?• Am I missing a point ?• Is my anger converted into positive energy ?• Is my anger justified ?• Have I analyzed the justification from others’ perspective too ?• Have I thought about the consequences?• Will my anger overcast my personality and good traits ?

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Fear

• What am I afraid of ?• Ex: Job security/person or a group of people/superiors/• Is my fear connected to any other state of mind ? Ex 1: Am I afraid because I lack competency?Ex 2: Am I afraid because of insecure feeling about losing my job ?Ex 3: Am I afraid my reputation might be damaged?

• Have I taken steps to eradicate my fear?• Do I have the courage to tell my friend that I am afraid?• Is my fear an example to the people around me ?• Am I being rational with the things happening around me?

Can this help me in getting rid of my fear?

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.

Laziness

• Am I feeling lazy without reason ?

• Am I following a healthy lifestyle to keep out my laziness ?

• Have I studied my body with different lifestyles to be brisk and active ?

• Am I drinking adequate water ?

• Am I taking adequate nutrients in food?

• Am I over eating food with each meal ?

• Am I having adequate sleep daily ?

• Am I feeling lazy due to physical conditions or due to my state of mind ?

• Are my activities planned for the complete day ?

• If so, would my laziness impact those planned activities ?

People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals - that is, goals that do not inspire them.

Reluctance

• Why am I reluctant?• Do I have a valid reason to be reluctant ?• Am I being reluctant without a strong reason?• Have I analyzed if my reluctance is avoidable?• How can I overcome it?• Do I have a plan and a track of my plans ?• Can I find out a single reason to get going and

avoid reluctance ?• Am I being reluctant because of my ego?

The only thing standing between you and your dream is…..reluctance.

Greed

• Am I satisfied with what I have ?• Why is it never enough ?• What are my requirements ?• What are my expectations from life/work?• Is my lifestyle too complicated that I am not

feeling fulfilled ?• Have I fulfilled the things that are small but

significant ?• Are people close to me affected by my greed ?

Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction

Ego - Explained

• Do I have a clear understanding about Ego?• Ego is a state of mind which alters the entire life of a person.• Id, Ego and Super-Ego are the three basic elements of one’s mind• Id is the only component of personality that is present from birth which is the source of our bodily needs,

wants, desires, and impulses, particularly aggressive drives. ID is present from birth which needs immediate satisfaction.

• The Ego acts according to the reality principle to please the id's drive in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term.it serves three severe masters:- the external world, the super-ego and the id. The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains the passions and basic desires.

• The super-ego works in contradiction to the id. The super-ego strives to act in a socially appropriate manner, whereas the id just wants instant self-gratification. The super-ego controls our sense of right and wrong and guilt. It helps us fit into society by getting us to act in socially acceptable ways with the help of cultural rules, mainly the good things taught by parents. The super-ego's demands often oppose the id’s, so the ego sometimes has a hard time in reconciling between id and super-ego. The Super-ego can be thought of as a type of conscience that punishes misbehavior with feelings of guilt.

What are the common forms of psychological defense mechanism ?

• Superiority complex: A psychological defense mechanism in which a person's feelings of superiority counter or conceal his or her feelings of inferiority. The inflated feelings of being superior, above the ordinary, and special, along with arrogance lead to difficulties at work and in relationships.

• Inferiority complex: A behavior that is displayed through a lack of self-worth, an increase of doubt and uncertainty, and feeling of not measuring up to society's standards.

Leave the Ego.. Else.. Everyone Would leave you.. Because ego is self-born out of fear and defensiveness..

Human Relationship

• Am I a social person ?• Am I approachable ?• Am I being polite ?• Am I a good team player ?• Am I conveying my thoughts the right way?• Am I helping others without expectations?• Am I compassionate to other people?• Do I love my co-workers?• If I don’t love them, do I know the reason ?

Good Relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and the people who truly want to be together.

Listening

• Do I have Listening skills?• Am I paying attention to what others say ?• Am I listening to the constructive feedbacks

about me from others ?• Do I accept to what people want to convey ?• Do I have the strength to listen to my mind?• Am I not having patience to listen to others?• Does listening impact my personality ?

One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say

Communication

• Do I have a clear understanding about communication ?• Do I know the effective ways to communicate ?• Below are some good tips for effective communication :

• ListeningGood listening is integral to communication. If you want your point to be heard and remembered, its important to listen and remember others’.

• EmpathyIt’s about give and take. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is often a good way to improve workplace communication skills.

• PatienceIt is important to be patient while listening to other’s points and while talking your point to others. Rushing will result in losing the focus and would not serve the purpose. One should always allow timing between incoming and outgoing communications.

• ClarityCommunication with clarity is essential for others to understand and action on the discussed point. Communication without clarity is unlikely for others to follow.

• PositivityPositive approach to any problem would make the problem lighter. When this is communicated to the people, and discussed thoroughly, it will simplify the problem even further.

• Self-improvementConfidence and communication go hand-in-hand. Confidence is increased by self-improvement.

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as substitutes for action.

Competence

• What is competence ?Competence is the ability of an individual to do a job properly.

It is the balance of Knowledge, skill and the right attitude.

• Do I have the core competence to do my job properly ?

• Have I identified in which areas I need to improvise?

• Have I discussed about the gap with the right people?

• Have I taken the positive actions to fill the gap ?

• Is there any other state of mind stopping me from doing it ?

• Do I have the competence to influence others towards a healthy change ?

• When I have the responsibility to lead, do I have the competence and maturity to do it so that I can be a good leader ?

If you think you can do it, its confidence…. If you do it, its competence..

Planning

• Am I planning properly ?• Am I prioritizing and strategizing my goals?• How do I know if my planning is in right direction ?• Have I taken care of the contingencies that might land

uninvitingly ?• Have I done the risk assessment and the impact analysis?• Do I know what to be done if my plan fails ?• Have I discussed my plans with my close ones ?• Do I keep a track of my plans and update periodically ?

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort

Patience

• Why is patience important to me?• Am I patient till the right moment?• Can I be at good attitude while being patient ?• Do I know when to end my patience ?• Do I have the mental strength to see the results

at the end of my patience ?• Do I have the maturity to accept anything which

can result at the end of patience.

The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience

Perseverance

• Do I have the determination to complete what I started ?

• Do I have the attitude to chase my dreams and accomplish goals ?

• Do I have the moral and mental strength to accomplish the mission ?

• Do I know what all it takes to achieve it?• Am I spending my energy in the right direction?• Do I know how far I can push myself ?

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th

Acceptance

• Do I accept what I am missing ?• Have I evaluated myself precisely?• If I cannot accept my flaws, can I accept others’?• If I cannot accept my flaws and others’ flaws, is it fair to expect

others to accept mine ?• Is it very difficult to accept my flaws to myself ?• How many positive traits have I identified in myself • How I have developed them to become a better and strong

individual?• How many positive traits have I discovered in myself while

identifying the points that I lack ?

Love the person in the mirror. Every morning provides the opportunity for you to accept who you are!

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.

Thank You !

Better understanding of self Is the beginning of a better humanity!