stentoriannorth carolina school of science and mathematics stentorian123@gmail.comvol. XXXIII, issue 7 april 1, 2014

the

DISCLAIMER: This is the first annual April Fools’ Issue of The Stentorian. All facts, names and quotes have been made up and are not true representations of any actual person. Enjoy!

SG LEADERSHIP TAKEN IN COMMUNIST COUP

By AdAm Beyer

In a shocking turn of events at the regular meeting of Student Government Sunday night, a faction of Senators led by Senator Matthew Kornberg led a peaceful coup d’etat, taking claim of the Student Body and Senate Presidency with promises to make many changes to the functioning of SG.

The coup began during a routine discussion of a series of bylaws changes, one of which would have called for all bills passed to include a synopsis. The debate about

the bill was interrupted by Senator Kornberg, who moved to amend it to include the creation of a Government Affairs committee.

This amendment would have required formal language to be pre-written, so Senate President Choi left the meeting for the bathroom for several minutes while the wording was drafted, leaving Senate President pro tempore Kornberg in charge.

Quickly, Kornberg instruct-ed Senators to close and lock the door to the Woolworth room, and distributed copies of legislation amending the

Student Government Bylaws to provide for deposing top Student Government elected officials.

After a limited debate, the changes passed the Senate after an impassioned speech by Senator Wilson calling for an end to the “tyranny” of the Thakker-Choi administration.

Immediately following the passage of the bylaw amendments, the Senate passed resolutions deposing President Thakker, who was away at the Intel competition, and Senate President Choi, still locked outside from office. Senator Kornberg was then voted

acting Student Body President, appointing Senator Wilson as Senate President.

Treasurer Lee was allowed to remain in office because of her skillful ability to obtain funding from the Association of Student Governments.

“This coup is a total sham and unconstitutional,” said Senate President David Choi while locked outside. “The thing these ‘revolutionaries’ are forgetting is that any changes to the bylaws must be approved directly by Dr. Roberts before taking effect.”

That did not stop the Student Senate under new

leadership from beginning to take immediate actions that, according to some analysts, are an attempt shore up its legitimacy. Acting President Kornberg authorized the SG Directors of IT to release an online referendum petition to the Student Body allowing it to give input.

Some students complained of difficulties accessing the petition, instead encountering error messages. Several hours later acting-President Kornberg released a statement calling the

Coup continued on page 3

SG update (not propaganda)

By ChristiAn AguilAr

Jimmy Neutron replaces Todd Roberts as chancellor

hAnnAh WAlrAth

On Friday, March 14, 2014, the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics’ Administration publicly announced the replacement of current Chancellor Dr. J. Todd Roberts by the popular television figure Jimmy Neutron.

This replacement is mostly due to Neutron’s heroic acts and popularity amongst the teen science community, as well as his advancements in science.

“The Board of Governors and the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics A d m i n i s t r a t i o n felt this move best reflects the school’s motto, ‘Accept the Greater Challenge’ and our continued support for the advancement of our young people,” said Senior Parth Patel who was a member of the Chancellor Search and Selection Committee.

Students around campus are excited and nervous about this new change.

Senior Tessa Jones, “can’t wait to see what type of publicity this change brings to the school and hopes to see more funding from the science and mathematics community.”

However, other students are

much more skeptical. Asking questions like, “How old is Neutron?” and “Is he qualified to run our institution?”

Others simply feel like this change might be more of a publicity stunt by the school. “Jimmy Neutron might look like Dr. Roberts, but that

doesn’t mean he’ll act like Dr. Roberts. What if our school falls apart because of this change?” concerned student Bailey Blankenship responded.

No one truly knows what the future of NCSSM under

future Chancellor Neutron holds.

Only time will tell. When asked about the change, Roberts only had good things to say about Neutron and the NCSSM adminis t ra t ion . “I think the

administration at NCSSM makes well-educated decisions. I am of course sad to leave but I’m excited to pass the position of Chancellor on to Mr. Neutron.”

Neutron moves into his new office

one week after graduation, but will be shadowing Dr. Roberts for the month of May. Roberts, a Duke University Alumni, reportedly will be joining the Duke Basketball staff as an assistant coach. However, no formal statement has been released on this matter.

Dr. Roberts and new chancellor, Jimmy Neutron shake hands at a Press Conference upon the announcement of Neutron’s new role.

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In the wake of the transition to a new Student Government leadership, much business has occurred in recent days allowing Student Government to work effectively for the masses.

Three new Senators at-large were appointed and confirmed unanimously at the first Student Government meeting since the transition.

Juniors Bina Amin, Jacob Botros, and Abhi Kulgod were appointed to the position of Senator at-large which allows them to obtain $100 of Student Government funding to work on a project in the service of the student body.

“I am really excited to have these students join SG,” said acting-President Matthew Kornberg. “The projects they bring are evidence that they share the same vision of community at NCSSM that I have.

Senator Amin plans to develop a food-sharing program, where surplus food in the PFM is donated to local agencies that can use it for people in need.

Senator Botros’ project is to create a guide-book for new Juniors that will feature many tips not found in the more-formal official Student Handbook.

Senator Kulgod is seeking to procure a set of laptop chargers that can be used on a communal basis in the library.

Also this month, the newly-led Senate passed a bill sponsored by Senator Isaiah Bryant asking administration to remove future “I-Weeks” from the Testing Calendar.

Perhaps the most important action of Student Government since the takeover has been its push for new elections.

“Acting Senate-President Philip Wilson and I talked about it and decided that SG really just needs a fresh-start after the tyranny of the previous administration,” said Matthew Kornberg.

During elections last week, Abhi Kulgod was elected Student Body President and Vinay Kshirsagar was elected Treasurer.

“I believe acting-Senate President Wilson and I have set a strong precedent for what SG’s true mission is,” said Kornberg. “We can only hope that the new leaders will carry it forward, but if not, those who dream of good for all will know where to find me.”

(The Stentorian maintains its independence from the new governing authority in SG and is simply running this memo from the Division of Public Relations as a courtesy.)

Bizzare Prom-posals an NCSSM staple

By CAroline liu

With prom season coming to end last weekend, it is hard not to reminisce about the good times. And the bad. Flipping through the archives, I have complied a list of the most unusual and awful promposals of SMath history.

Michael, Class of 1994, was a huge fan of Rubik’s Cubes, so what was a better way to ask his date to prom than through his favorite toy? Writing one word on each side of the cube, his date was to unscramble the cube to spell out “JEN, PROM?”. This simple phrase with a total of 9 characters, however, turned out to be more sophisticated than he had thought. Unfortunately Jen had little experience with complicated toys, and therefore Michael ended up with “PORN, JEM?” and no date.

Connor, Class of 2004, did the classic pizza line: “I know this is cheesy but, PROM?” on the pizza box. However, Connor was quite surprised when Sarah, who turned out to be lactose-intolerant, gave the box back…

Sline, Class of 2008, thought it would be clever to incorporate his 2nd amendment love along with a plastic rifle into his prom ask. “I’m hunting for someone to

go to the prom with me.” He actually successfully got a date! (Along with a Level II).

Antonia, Class of 2007, was very shocked when she received an email from her favorite musical artist, Lil’ Wayne, asking her to prom. Turns out her original date, Greg, had asked Mr. Wayne, to make a video asking Antonia to prom for him, hoping to fi-nally become something more than friends.

The miscommunication, however, resulted in an ec-

static An-tonia and a very much f r i e n d -z o n e d Greg.

N o t e v e r y -one needs

a prom date, though. Jamie, Class of 2011, decided she didn’t need a man to look good on the night of prom. Instead, she brought along her favorite room-decora-tion, a Justin T i m b e r l a k e cardboard cut-

out. “He was the sweetest guy, always smiling at me and never interrupting my conversations. I can safely say, that was one of the best nights of my life!” says Jamie. So, for all those single ladies out there, this one is for you.

Crazy or not, promposals are some of the highlights of the whole prom season. Awful prom asks, along with the constant wardrobe malfunctions and ugly corsages, truly make prom the night of nights.

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Connor’s failed pizza box ask.

My Smath Addictions

By sArAh ColBert

These are the confessions of anonymous NCSSM students. Warning, this article may be disturbing to some; reader discretion is advised.

Dental Disgrace“I like to brush my teeth in

the water fountain.”Cone-vict“I compulsively put ice

cream cones in the ceiling tiles of Watt’s tunnel…every day. It just makes me feel so…tranquil. It’s like I’m casting off another worry with each cone. It’s very comforting.”

Team Edward “Every night I watch him

[my roommate]. He doesn’t know of course. I don’t know how he would take it. (chuckle) Sometimes the corner of his mouth will twitch or his delicate lashes with flutter and I fear he will wake and find me sitting aside him, but he always goes still again.

He’s just so peaceful in his slumber. It’s like he’s dead, but I don’t feel grief because I know he’s not. He’s just dancing spryly through a world of dreams and soft kittens. Then, when I doze off in exhaustion during class, I hope that I look as peaceful as he does.”

Respiratory Researcher“I’m a science work service

student. Every time I go into the stockroom, I put different instruments up my nose and rate them on a scale of 1-10 where 1 signifies unpleasant, 5 indicates moderately

gratifying, and 10 represents utterly sensational. Plastic pipettes are an 11.”

Sign-out Swiper“I take sign out cards from

Bryan Lobby. Only from people I know. I keep a record of everywhere they go. That way, if they lie to me about where they go or who they go with, I will know. I will know…”

Fear-facing Felon“Sometimes I go onto the

physics floor and attach the alligator clips to my ear lobes, nostrils, lips, and belly button (I’m an outie). It started out very innocently. I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be attacked by an army of geckos. I worry about that kind of thing, and I thought it would help my fear if I knew sort of what to expect. Also, by sometimes, I mean every day.”

Cutlery Culprit “I can’t help myself. I

know I have a problem, but I’m just out of control. I have a need for the PFM dishes. I love the feel of the smooth plastic bowls and the sweet cold kiss of the silverware against my skin. I look through the cups and see a shining new world of possibilities.

When I walk into the PFM, I envy the work service student washing the precious dishes. I see the spoons glittering in the fluorescent lighting. Then before I know what I’m doing, my book bag is filled with them and I’m running to my dorm. The adrenaline is exhilarating.”

At the 86th annual Academy Awards, Leonardo DiCaprio won the Oscar for “Best Actor in a Leading Role”. After a 25 year career and four Oscar nominations, DiCaprio finally won his much deserved award for his role in The Wolf of Wall Street.

His acceptance speech was a humble one. He grabbed the Oscar from the presenter, said “It’s about !@#$%#% time,” punched Matthew McConaughey in the face, and ran off stage. DiCaprio is obviously enjoying his coveted award as he has not been seen since.

DiCaprio was always destined for an Oscar ever since he first appeared in Titanic, The Departed, Gangs of New York, and The Great Gatsby, for all of which he received no nomination. It is clear his recent win has corrected a long standing injustice in the movie industry.

“I am glad the Academy decided to get off their high horse and present me with the golden statuette,” said DiCaprio. “I hope to continue to win retroactive Oscars to correct the grievous mistakes the Academy made in the past.”

The film for which DiCaprio won the award is a controversial one. The Wolf of Wall Street creates and then walks the thin line between

high art and pornography. In it, Leonardo DiCaprio

demonstrates the faults of improper drug use techniques, the consequences of bacchanalia, and the problems with reckless securities fraud. It is an instructional film for all ages.

Director of the film and friend of DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese said, “He really deserves the award for being the best actor to never deliver a

great performance. He wastes his talent on terrible roles and it’s time the Academy recognized that.”

DiCaprio became famous for his role as dead weight in the movie Titanic, but later moved on to playing a twisted tycoon in The Aviator, a twisted tycoon in Django Uchained, a twisted tycoon in The Great Gatsby, and a twisted tycoon in The Wolf of Wall Street. Perhaps he would have won an Oscar soon if he appeared in a sequel.

DiCaprio, with his Oscar win, has made himself the defining artist of our generation. It is unknown whether or not he has any

new movies in production, but he may decide to retire now that he has achieved the highest honor an actor can receive.

“It’s really an honor to lose to him,” said Matthew McConaughey, DiCaprio’s main competitor for the Oscar. “I’m glad I lost to him so that he could finally win an award he so thoroughly deserved.”

Audiences around the world can yearn for more breathtaking performances from the man now named Academy Award Winner Leonardo DiCaprio.

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The College Board recently announced that it will be making fundamental changes to its previously, severely flawed, and predictable SAT.

David Coleman, president of the College Board, announced that the SAT does not focus enough on important skills needed for college, such as cultural references and noticing changes in weather patterns. Coleman released a sample question at a press conference this past week, citing it will be more tailored to the life of a typical student in college. The sample question given to those in attendance is shown below.

1. What season will North Carolina be in tomorrow?

A. SpringB. SummerC. WinterD. All of the above

As part of a confidentiality agreement with the

Educational Testing Service, the United Nations, Katy Perry, and several soccer moms, Coleman was not allowed to disclose the answer as it will be used on a future SAT.

Coleman is assured that the redesigned SAT will allow more students to attend college, as every test comes with four random college admissions letters to all senior test takers. Several collegiate institutions, such as the University of North Carolina at Kitty Hawk, Promenade College, and University of the Humanities and Technologies in Kalamazoo, have already agreed to allow for admission letters to be included in the SAT tests.

Before concluding the three day long press conference, Coleman also announced that crayons will be allowed for writing the optional essay and that leftover mints from the living room candy jar will be sitting on the first page of test booklet to welcome test takers.

By evAn Brooks

SAT creatively redesigned

featuresapril 1, 2014 the stentorian | ncssm2

DiCaprio finally wins his Oscar award

By riChArd ong

referendum an “overwhelming affirmation of support” for the new government and commenting that any technical difficulties experienced were “to be expected from NCSSM’s network”.

The success of the referendum allowed acting Senate President Wilson to call for an adjournment of the Senate but not before the body passed several resolutions in support of changing the official school color to red, upping the PFM work-service

requirement to include Seniors, and renaming NCSSM, “The North Carolina School of Liberal Studies (and also some math)”.

Senate President Choi still maintained his legitimacy as Senators filed out of the Woolworth Room, saying he and President Thakker would be conducting emergency meetings with Dr. Roberts in an effort to take back control.

“I just feel very hurt by all of this,” said Senate President Choi.

“President Thakker and I have been highly effective as leaders, passing more legislation than most other SG sessions in recent memory. I guess this is what I get for going to the bathroom during Senate Meeting. All I can say is dran [sic].”

SG coup

Coup continued from page 1

April Fools’ Day around the world

By kAnAn shAh

April 1st, known as April Fools’ Day in America, is observed all over the world. The day earned this title when the Georgian Calendar was adopted in the 1500’s, changing New Year’s Day from April 1st to January 1st.

Those who kept observing the old date as New Year’s became known as the fool’s.

Although celebrated around the world, different countries have different ways of observing the holiday. Some

celebrations include-France and Italy- As a

joke, schoolchildren tape paper fish on the backs of the classmates.

Scotland- Celebrated as a two-day holiday, the first day is known as “Hunt the Gowk Day.” the Scottish usually send their friends on fool’s errands.

Someone is delivered a sealed message asking for help. Inside the sealed message are instructions to pass the letter along, creating a chain.

The second day, “Taily Day,” is believed to have given rise to “Kick Me” signs and other similar jokes.

Iran- Coincidentally, the 13th day of the Persian New Year, known as Sizdah Bedar, falls around April 1st or 2nd.

Dating back to 536 BC and perhaps the oldest known joke day, Persians celebrate this day with a picnic and jokes.

After the picnic, sabzeh, or green vegetables, are thrown away to ward off bad luck and potential illnesses in the coming year.

Canada- Although celebrated similarly to that in America, April Fools’ Day in Canada also incorporates French traditions of the paper fish.

In addition, James Randi announces the Pigasus Award each April Fools’ to a paranormal or psychic fraud or to an institution that promotes paranormal claims. In the past, this award has been given to John Edwards and the Kansas School Board.

Poland- Mainly a children’s holiday, the Polish dress up in

costumes in addition to the traditional prank-playing for April Fools’ Day.

Britain- Pranks are only socially acceptable before noon; anyone playing a prank after noon is known as the fool.

Hispanic Countries- Hispanic Countries, and those once under the Spanish influence, celebrate the “Day of Innocents,” on December 28 in a way similar to that of April Fools’.

This day marks King Herod’s slaughtering of all baby boys near Bethlehem as an attempt to prevent the emergence of the Messiah. The people playing the pranks are known as the innocents, and it is socially acceptable to not take offense.

Antarctica Fest replaces Asiafest

On March 6, the entire journalism world exploded when Newsweek journalist Leah McGarth Goodman claimed the creator of Bitcoin was Dorian Prentice Satoshi Nakamoto of California.

Reporters in the Los Angeles area disposed of other assignments and hopped in their vehicles with Grand Theft Auto-like grandeur, speeding through the streets of downtown Los Angeles escaping police officers and avoiding strategically placed explosives at every intersection.

As reporters closed in on the residence of Nakamoto after searching through numerous libraries, trash cans, planets, and universes, Nakamoto sat in his residence peering out of a window until a reporter spotted him.

The gossip thirsty reporters cornered Nakamoto in his residence, claiming they knew the exact spatial dimension of his house all along.

After hours of camping outside of Nakamoto’s typical suburban, middle class residence, Nakamoto finally came out from hours of binge-watching the Romanian-based The Money Channel to ask reporters, “What is a Bitcoin?”

Coming to his ancient senses, he continued saying “No questions right now. I’m not involved with Bitcoin, OK? Wait a minute, I want free lunch first.”

An overly anxious reporter from the Associated Press opened the car door to his fuel-inefficient, soccer-mom-esque Toyota Prius and took a long lunch break with Nakamoto at a sushi restaurant before speeding back through the streets of Los Angeles to

Associated Press offices, narrowly avoiding SWAT teams armed with doughnuts and coffee.

Moving at ancient speeds, Nakamoto and the AP reporter hopped in an elevator to hold a confidential, exclusive interview with windows and Internet access, leaving the other thirsty reporters down in the lobby. Three hours later, word traveled to the lobby that Nakamoto left the building undetected.

Goodman stood firmly in her earlier clueless and unproven breakthrough, citing an encounter with an exchange with Nakamoto that proved he was the Bitcoin founder, even when she somewhat confused the context. The real founder of Bitcoin later posted on the P2P Foundation site, in a mocking and defamatory tone, “I am not Dorian Nakamoto.”

By evAn Brooks

Bitcoin creator confesses he’s not actual creator

By su Cho

On April 5, many students will be able to watch Antarctica Fest, which celebrates the unique culture of Antarctica with different dance and other musical acts. The theme for Antarctica Fest 2013 is “Date Night in Antarctica”.

Many students have shown mixed feelings towards Antarctica Fest due to the fact it is replacing the popular annual event, Asiafest. However, other students have pushed for this change, hoping that it would spread awareness towards global warming and climate change.

After a long debate between members of the student body, it was decided that a change would be for the best. It is still unknown if Antarctica Fest will take place next school year, but depending on the success and feedback from

the students, it may replace Asiafest indefinitely.

To appease the students

who are against the switch, the Antarctica Cultures Club Officers have added some fusion performances that combine the two different cultures of Antarctica and Asia

such as “Bhangra on Ice” “ICE-idic” and “KWhale”, which mixes Korean pop dance with the sounds of Antarctica’s native whale species.

Students have been preparing for Antarctica Fest since the beginning of the school year. There are a number of anticipated acts this year including an ice dance performance from Olympic gold medalists Meryl Davis and Charlie White, solo vocal piece of the popular song, “Let it Go”, and a happy feet penguin

tap dance performance, which is one of the most known Antarctica-style dances.

One act that people have high expectations for is the collaboration performance with Enthalpy and the renowned Penguin Dance Crew, a famous hip-hop group in Antarctica.

P-Dizzle, one member of the trio penguin dancers, says, “It’s great to see so many students interested in the culture of Antarctica. Everyone should be very excited to see an assortment of performances.”

After the fest, the Antarctica Cultures Club will be serving food for all the performers and audience members. Expect to see multiple flavors of snow cream, popsicles, and large cubes of ice.

Antarctica Fest will be held in the ETC Auditorium with two different times to see the show. The first show will be at 3:00 p.m. and the last show will be at 7:30 p.m.

Images courtesy of Kanan Shah

april 1, 2014the stentorian | ncssmnews 3

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I am tired of answering all of your questions. You guys have some real problems so I have some questions for you

.1. Why is myNCSSM a

thing?

2. How come everytime I walk around I see a sketchy couple on the ground?

3. What’s up with the Toilet Paper, y’all?

4. Why are you all so rude to the PFM workers?

5. Why aren’t there more mixers this year?

6. What is I-Week?

7. What does Stentorian even mean?

8. Why is prom so freaking early?

9. How come I can never

get wifi?

10. Why can’t y’all make popcorn?

11. Does anyone actually check out books from the library anymore?

12. Can someone tell me why my name is Tori?

13. Why are the juniors sitting on the senior benches?

14. Why does the 2015/2016 Facebook page already exist? Seniors ain’t gone yet.

15. Are there really ghosts here?

16. What are y’all doing for Spring Break?

17. How many pairs of sweatpants do you own?

18. Why don’t you read the Stentorian?

Tori asks!

Strange events circulate Junior classFrightening Applicants, Hygiene Lessons, Compromising Positions?

By AndreW Peterson

The stresses of NCSSM have driven many students over the edge, but recent incidents have driven many students completely insane.

While there have been minor incidents involving students befriending strange animals on 9th street or been caught in “compromising” positions across campus, the incident of immediate concern involved a wild student startling students on NCSSM’s Discovery Day.

Several NCSSM Student Ambassadors reported seeing Norma Leigh Lucid, an NCSSM Student, startling Discovery Day applicants as they walked to their math test. Students reported seeing Norma Leigh Lucid acting like a rabid animal:

growling at random students, running in and out of the bushes, screaming about math problems and American Studies.

Ann Bingham described what she saw on that Saturday, “I was a leading student to testing when a junior ran out of the bushes in her pajamas. She was screaming something about a math test, and all of the juniors were extremely frightened.”

Several junior volunteers described the event as comical. Pepe Roni said, “I thought it was funny! Norma Leigh is always joking around. She may have taken it too far this time, but I think her actions reflect the true values of NCSSM: free expression, emotional instability, and personal

freedom.” Lucid was quickly removed

from the public eye before her presence created enough scandal to completely disrupt Discovery Day, but her actions have caused a wide reaction on campus. Norma Leigh has not been seen since the incident, but there are rumors Norma has been taken into the clinic.

According to a reliable source named Ray Zenz, “I saw her being pulled into Hunt during the junior’s math test. Dr. Ted E. Baer was dragging her in as she screamed about a math test.”

Lucid’s actions may have startled this year’s applicants. But the entire school has been unnerved by her actions.

This most recent unsettling event has followed a string of strange events in the junior class. Rumors have circulated about X. Benedict having a breakdown in the PFM and Ivan Oder being pulled into the clinic for a lesson in personal hygiene.

These events may all be explained by the graffiti that decorated campus in the previous weeks. The juniors’ acts may be their attempts to “Revolt against the administration!”

No matter their intentions, their actions have created a sense of confusion within the Administration. Everyone is waiting in anticipation for what is going to happen next.

Stentorian staff does not read Stentorian

stAff rePorts

The Stentorian Staff, in a surprising admssion last week, revealed that they do not actually read the Stentorian at all.

“To be honest, by the time I finish formatting each issue, I am sick of looking at it,” said Editor Adam Beyer, “I actually consider it great to use for wrapping paper.”

“It’s true,” said Editor Su Cho. “The fact that we do not have more errors is really all because of our amazing writers and our great advisor, Mr. Kirk.”

Editor Jungsu Hong could not be reached for comment either. Presumably, she was busy not reading the Stentorian either.

Top ten reasons athletes should choose NCSSMBy steven liAo

At NCSSM, scholarly doors open. Badges of academic excellence grace the halls. Every fiber of the school screams opportunity. But can NCSSM serve as a similar haven for athletes? Here are the top ten reasons why athletes should choose NCSSM.

Honorable Mention: The Uniflex

With the mascot like the Unicorn comes a pose like the Uniflex. For those who don’t know what the Uniflex is, NCSSM Student Life Instructor Sue Anne Lewis explains, “The Uniflex is like the Wolfpack wolf hand, the FSU tomahawk, or the Miami U...it’s a hand gesture that all recognize as NCSSM. Simply put your thumb to your forehead with your pinky in the air, followed by a loud ‘bam,’ and lean back a little.”

10. Exercise is ConvenientA five-minute walk from

your dorm room. No more paying monthly gym fees. No more driving to the gym.

9. Fitness Center at your Disposal

Fitness rooms at most schools are not available for general use. At NCSSM, the PEC, which is more like a fitness center equipped with a gymnasium, dance studio, weight room, and more, is fully available to all students.

8. NCSSM is Good at Hiding Swimming Pools

People frequently wonder, “How is NCSSM’s swimming team so good without a swimming pool?”

NCSSM has a deep swimming tradition. Rumor has it that back in NCSSM’s hospital days, a swimming pool filled the “L” shape of Hill. And the PEC has an awfully suspicious amount of ladders and leaks from its roof. Oh and there’s more. Have you heard of the pool beneath the soccer field?

7. Research Makes Sports

More StimulatingFor some really hardcore

athletes, playing the sport alone does not provide enough stimulation. Senior Jake Bringewatt was one of those athletes.

Bringewatt was able to take advantage of NCSSM’s research program to research the Magnus force, the force that makes a spinning ball curve.

“I’ve played baseball for twelve years. I’ve pitched a little bit, so when I was trying to decide on a physics research project within my current capabilities I decided to look into the physics of a curve ball. I did figure out a particular seam orientation that would lead to maximum lateral break on a fastball, which I did experiment with a little,” said Bringewatt.

So, if playing sports is not enough for you, NCSSM could

be the perfect place for you to whet your athletic appetite. “Since you’re going to be spending hours working on your project you might as well choose a topic that interests you,” says Jake.

6. Hall IntramuralsWhat other high school in

North Carolina can boast an intramural program with over 90% participation?

5. Student-Led IntramuralsWhat other high school

in North Carolina can boast an underground ping pong tournament, a student-led Ultimate Frisbee team, and a Flag Football League?

4.Excellent Array of Physical Education Classes

What other high school in North Carolina can boast classes like Archery, Couch to 5k, and Zumba?

3. A Community of Athletes… and Mathletes

At NCSSM, mathletes meet

athletes. Will their worlds converge or will they clash?

Junior Justice Obasohan , a Varsity Basketball player, says he feels a connection between the two. “I feel like everyone has something that they’re good at. We both like to measure our skills against others and put these skills to use.”

Senior Sammy Luo, a celebrated mathlete, says interactions with the athletic community have helped him. “So I found that doing active things especially with a group or a team really helps me use my intuition better in doing problems, especially combinatorics problems.”

Overall, it seems most would agree that NCSSM’s unique dynamics lend well towards building a stronger connection between mathletes and athletes. As junior Sandeep Silwal notes, “Here, the lines

are a lot more blurred, I would say.”

2.Wells Fargo Cup Winner

NCSSM gets results. The school is a three-time winner of the Wells Fargo Cup, which is given to the top athletics program in the state in each respective enrollment classification. Most recently, in 2011-2012, NCSSM won the 1A Wells Fargo Cup. The Cup awards points based on each school’s performance in state championship events.

1. NCSSM Undefeated in Football Since 1982

It’s true: NCSSM, in its entire history, has not suffered a single loss in football. The school’s unblemished football record is a point of pride for students and faculty alike, with shirts sold in the school store touting this accomplishment.

And something tells me this accomplishment isn’t going away anytime soon.

the backpageapril 1, 2014 the stentorian | ncssm4

the stentorian the north carolina school of science and mathematics1219 broad street, durham, nc 27705

stentorian123@gmail.com

Editors-in-Chief: Adam Beyer, Su Cho, Jungsu HongNews Editor: Kanan Shah

Features Editor: Sarah ColbertEntertainment Editor: Ava Gruchacz

Opinion Editor: Andrew PetersonSports Editor: Steven Liao

Photography Editor: Zihui YangAdvisor: John Kirk

Staff Writers: Evan Brooks, Caroline Liu, Richard Ong, Hannah Walrath, Chichi Zhu

Check us out on the web at www.ncssm.edu/stentorian!