The PoorC h i l d st o b e

The Flying I r i s h m a n ’ sStag do • Dublin • August 2011

Flight Detailshotel aDDressKinlay house

2 -12 lorD eDwarD street,Dublin,irelanD

D2

inbound: Flight Fr2433Depart: luton airportDay : Friday 17th July

Depart : 10:15amarrive : 11.25am

inbound: Flight Fr2433Depart: Dublin airportDay : Monday 20th july

Depart : 17:15amarrive : 1825am

Mr gregory allen beedie of

south

sheddocksley, you're here

because you

think you're on holiday in

Dublin. let me

tell you this now, this ain't no

FuCKin'

holiday. as far as i'm conc

erned, you're a

piece of fucking shit scu

m.

you are fuckin' here to t

rain to be

the man that will take care

of Fiona

for life. you're going to be

the best

because we're going to make you th

e

motherfucking best.

Myself and your chosen boy

s will be

hard on you, you will hate us. t

he more

you hate us, the more yo

u will learn.

but until you learn, you’re

nothing but

faggotty-ass pussy, cryin

’ for Fiona at

night, and dry humpin’ you

r pillows.

you will go home as big, motherf

ockin’

machines of war, eating roc

ks and

sh*ttin’ diamonds. you will go home as

a

real Man. but you still shall not

rule!the unfortunate

best man to allen beedie!

nick g

our

awesome

hotel

i'm in love with youtáim i ngrá leat

a pint of gunniess please

Pionta guinness, le do thoil

i suppose a ride is out of the question?is dócha nach bhfuil seans ar bith ann?

Fuck upCrab suas

gaelic sayings for when you are plastered!!

ben Palmer aka Van wilder

Palmer sucks donkey dick!

he once said he wanted to kill

the sexiest per-son alive!

but suicide's a crime he says!

bassim baz aka Van wilder

twinkle twinkle little star, point me to the near-est bar

nick gregoryaka Mr squiggles

Do not under-estimate this little fucker! he may be the

smallest but the of most lethal drinker of us

all. he'll outpace, outdrink us all!!

russell Cooke aka Mr squiggles

a real casanova, has a budding romance with

Palmer when he's had a few!

Fegus Cooke aka Dollface

a nice guy, when it is not his

turn to get the rounds in. an artful dodger,

and never admits when he is

wrong. everyone, flick his ears when he is not

watching!

henry McDougal aka Dollface

handle with Care! we all need to watch out his drink intake.

he'll be sure to throw punches into thin air but will hit a few noses i'm

sure. he already apologises if he

does so!

Jimmy aka Cunny Jim

warning!! gives one back

better than what you give. Danger-ous Mofo to be around after a few let alone none! will give you the screw-driver if given the Chance!

tom bastock aka badcock

the young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating

for a while.

the to-Do-list whiCh Must be FulFilleD beFore DeParture to the hoMelanDFailure to fulfil this will result in PunishMents decided

by the weights & measures Committee.

Do the chicken dance

on a table

Down two

pints of

guinness

(names drawn out of a hat on daily basis)1 JuDge • 1 WeightS &

meASureS Committee • 1 Court -mArtiAl Committee

wise up

Down

two

pints of

guinn

ess

go up to 2 random guys and say......

'Phil! bob! i haVent seen u in sooo long!!'

then hug them!

shooting Competition in the wild forest of tibradden wood

(Pine Forest)Complimentary beers

go karting atKylemore industrial

estate

auld triangle

bond

Conways

Flowing tide

Forum bar

Kiely's

life

Murky blues

the bachelor inn

the belvedere

the big tree

the Church Cafe bar

the grand Central

the oval bar

the sackville lounge

welcome inn

o’Connell street pub Crawl

saturdaysaturday

Friday & sunday

always ask

permission

to take a

leak

Dammit!

Drinks are restricted to beer, straight

shots or two-part cocktails.

Drinking commences @ 12 noon saturday

and sunday. Drink @ your own

peril on Monday. Punishments

are decided by the weights and measures Committee.

1) yellow peril - if you get a yellow golf ball in any vessel you are holding, you must down the contents (3 mins max)

2) Drink with the clock - depending which half of the clock the minute hand is in, you must drink with the corresponding hand. 01 to 30 mins - right, 31 to 00 mins - left. (general to pick which half of the hour)

3) thumbmaster - last person to see the thumb on the table must down the drink

4) Pub golf (rules overleaf)

5) trump Cards

6) stags on Parade -

stags on ParaDeat any time during exercises, the groom can call for 'stags on Parades' to inspect his troops. each member is expected to assemble in front of the groom and produce their booklet

and their must-haves.

Failure and/or last person to do so will incur a punishment as decided by the weight & Measures committee, with input from the groom (the groom cannot participate if related to Dares)

Pub golFthis is an exercise to be undertaken by you all. we will play

a nine hole golf course. each 'hole' will be a beverage as agreed beforehand. a couple of holes will have a designated

hazard - either a water hazard or sand hazard.water hazard - you cannot go to the toilet for the duration we’re in the pub playing that hole. sand hazard - you must drink a shot of your choice in addition to the drink you

already have at that hole.the number of times it takes for you to finish your drink

is your score for the hole. scorecard provided.

stags of Dublin - you are expected to bring along your Must-haves! that will identify your participation of this stag Do!

you were told beforehand to bring these items. there's no excuse. these items are as follows:

Failure to produce any of the above items when the groom calls for ’stags on Parade’ will incur a penalty where you must drink 25% of your drink for each item not shown.

The PoorC h i l d s

t o b e

The Flying

I r i s h m an ’ s

Stag do • Dublin • August 2011

booklet

golf tee

iF you lose your PassPort

address: 29 Merrion road ballsbridge

Dublin 4

eMergenCy serViCesin case of emergencies outside office

hours (17.00 - 09.00):in severe emergencies only (eg: the arrest, death or serious injury of a

british national) please ring the embassy switchboard on +353 1 2053700.

iF you lose your Mobile

Van wilder +(44) 7815 890290

Knob Jockey +(44) 7834 979425

etonian +(44) 7980 757620

Dollface +(44) 7779 362477

try not to get yourself too

fucked up & lose your passport or

mobile phones!!

FuuuCCK!!

where's my

passport!!

toy car

Peg

thehangova 2011

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