Up for MeThe main theme of this unit is to continue to develop an awareness of the consequences of speech and action (or the lack of speech and action) in our interaction with each other in the classroom, school, our homes and the wider community.

Personal Development and Mutual Understanding: Key Stage 2, Year 6Strand 2: Mutual Understanding in the Local and Wider CommunityUnit 5: Speaking Up for MeComplementary Units: Working at Harmony Check It Out First! Decisions! Decisions!

Speaking

Teaching approaches

Their QuestionsEncourage the children to ask questions by creating opportunities for them to solve problems. For example, ask the children to create the Class Rota. This will give them a problem to solve: What jobs need to be done? By whom? How? When? Where? How will we know the rota is working? It will also help you to see what the children perceive as important in your room!

Managing ConflictThis needs to be a shared approach that is consistently modelled by adults. Some of the strategies used in your school may not be those used at home. Explain to parents the strategies used in school and give them the reasons for their use. This will allow them to support the school by using similar strategies at home.

Your QuestionsAsk questions such as: Can you say that in a different way? What did you mean when you said...? Can you tell me more about...? Can you give me a reason for...? Can you support what you have just said with evidence? Would that always be true? Can you think of an example when that wouldn’t happen? Can you sum up what has been said so far? What are your thoughts about the discussion so far? How do you feel about what has been said?

Questions like these encourage children to give considered responses and can also help them to make informed and responsible decisions.

OptionsTake opportunities and make time to discuss options. This helps the children think about identifying options when faced with choices in their own lives. Can the children identify most of the options in a situation? Talk about advantages and disadvantages; weigh them up. Which is the best option? Why? What might happen if the chosen option is taken/not taken? What would they do then?

Key Experiences

Building on Key Stage 1Responsibility and respect, honesty and fairness as well as constructive approaches to conflict:- identifying ways in which conflict may arise at home, and exploring ways it can be lessened, avoided or resolved;- identifying ways in which conflict may arise at school, and exploring ways it could be lessened, avoided or resolved;- discussing the causes of conflict in their community and how they feel about it;- identifying members of their school community and the roles and responsibilities they have;- beginning to understand why and how rules are made in class, in the playground and at school;- understanding that rules are essential in an ordered community;- identifying the people, jobs and workplaces in the community; and- realising that money can buy goods and services and is earned through work.

in exploring human rights and social responsibility;the causes of conflict and appropriate responses

- examining ways in which conflict can be caused by words, gestures, symbols or actions;- understanding the need for rules and that they are necessary for harmony at home and at school;- exploring and examining the rules within their families, friendship groups, and at school;- identifying the variety of groups, their roles and responsibilities that exist within the community;- considering the rights and responsibilities of members of the community;- understanding that rules are essential in an ordered community and that different rules are needed in different contexts;- examining the effects of anti-social behaviour (for example bullying and racism); and- appreciating how and why rules and laws are created and implemented.

Working at Key Stage 2

Human rights and social responsibility; the causes of conflict and appropriate responses:

Moving towards Key Stage 3Personal Development Key Concept: Self-awarenessPersonal Development Key Concept: RelationshipsCitizenship Key Concept: Human Rights and Social ResponsibilityCitizenship Key Concept: Democracy and Active ParticipationCitizenship Key Concept: Equality and Social JusticeCitizenship Key Concept: Diversity and Inclusion

Progress in learning• I understand why we all need to work in an agreed way.• The rules in our school make sense to me.• I can explain how our class agreement links to our school rules.• I can explain our class agreement and what I do to try to keep to it.• I can explain how I contributed to the class agreement and to the consequences.• I can explain how someone might have been affected by something that has happened.• I can explain how something might affect an older person or a younger person.• I can explain how something has affected me.• I feel a valued member of my class.• If I do not keep to an agreement, I explain why to those involved.• If I do not keep to an agreement, I can explain how this has affected others.• I can explain my attitude to conflict and its strengths and weaknesses.• I can use ‘I’ statements to explain my feelings and needs without blaming others.• I understand that other people may have more important needs than mine.• I work towards meeting the most important needs.

Learning intentions:Understand the need for agreed ways of interacting.Know and use a range of strategies to manage conflict

Key Stage 2, Year 6 Strand 2: Mutual Understanding in the Local and Wider Community Speaking Up for Me

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Planning togetherWhen children spend time discussing the need for a Class Agreement and explore what they consider to be fair and responsible ways of working and playing together, they are more likely to have a positive attitude towards adhering to the class decision.

This is how one class reached agreement on ways of working and playing together:- First, the children were randomly paired using the mathematical cards in Unit 4’s Resource B. - Then, each pair gave two suggestions that they felt were important for a safe and effective classroom.- Finally, as a class all suggestions were considered, classified and recorded to encompass all contributions and were printed as the following ‘rules’.

Thinking Skills and Personal Capabilities by the end of Key Stage 2

Working with others

Become more independent in social and interpersonal skills;

Work in different roles in a group and take responsibility for appropriate tasks;

Be willing to help others with their learning;

Understand and learn to respond to feedback; and

Work with peers to reach agreements and begin to manage disagreements.

Self-management

Evaluate what has been learnt and compare approaches with others;

Make links between learning in different contexts;

Become more self-directed by working independently or with a group;

Learn ways to manage own time;

Seek help from a variety of sources;

Work towards personal targets identified individually or jointly with the teachers; and

Be more confident in the knowledge of personal strengths and weaknesses.

Understand more than one point of view;

Examine options and weigh up pros and cons;

Try alternative problem solving solutions and approaches; and

Use different types of questions systematically and with purpose.

Being creative

Pose questions that do not have straightforward answers and seek out problems to solve and challenge the routine method;

Use all the senses to stimulate and contribute to ideas;

Experiment with different modes of thinking;

See opportunities in mistakes and failures;

Learn from and build on own and others’ ideas and experiences;

Value other people’s ideas;

Experiment with objects and ideas in a playful way;

Make ideas real by experimenting with different ideas, actions and outcomes; and

Begin to develop value judgments about the merits of their work.

Thinking, problem solvingand decision-making

Show the ability to use memory strategies to deepen understanding;

Identify and order patterns and relationships through a range of strategies such as grouping, classifying and reclassifying, and comparing and contrasting;

Make and test predictions, examine evidence and make links between possible causes and effects;

Discriminate between fact and opinion and question the reliability of evidence;

Managing information

Be able to ask deeper and wider questions to clarify a task and to plan and set goals;

Begin to challenge conventions and assumptions;

Be able to classify, compare and evaluate information, and to select the most appropriate methods for a task;

Develop methods for collating and recording information and monitoring progress on a task; and

Have a sense of audience and purpose.

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Across the Curriculum: Connecting the learning

Developing self confidence and a sense of responsiblity

Using role play to explore issues in managing conflict

Sharing, responding and evaluating ideas

Words and phrases I will hear and use Empathy

Communication DecisionBody language

Contract

Thinking Skills and Personal CapabilitiesLanguage and Literacy Drama

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Laws

5

Activity 1In our class we...The class decides together how members should interact.

Activity 2MaeveA story is used to explore empathy.

Activity 3ConflictChildren consider how constructive role play and discussion are as tools for managing conflict.

Activity 4How do I manage conflictChildren use role play to develop the skills needed for managing conflict constructively.

Activity 5Direct communicationChildren explore how we can respect our own needs and manage conflict constructively.

Learning activities

CommitmentAgreement

Constructive Interdependence

Learning activity 1: ln our class we ....

SUGGESTED SUCCESS CRITERIA

We will draw up a working contract for our classroom.We will contribute to and take responsibility for creating and sustaining a positive learning climate.

CORE CONCEPT

Each new school year, establishing a classroom contract for working and interacting together can create a classroom environment that is safe for everyone and promotes positive self-esteem and cooperation. The contract should promote an atmosphere where everyone feels safe, respected and valued.

POINTS TO NOTERefer to the Blue Unit of Year 5 Living.Learning.Together. If the children completed Activity 1 and devised a class contract at the beginning of Year 5, refer to this and evaluate how it was drawn up and its effectiveness. The purpose is not to criticise the previous year but to hold an open discussion to lead to planning for this year’s contract.

This is not an activity you can do on the first day of the new school year. The children need time to get to know you and your idiosyncrasies before they can talk freely. It may be better to leave it to later in the month when they know your routines and the practical running of the classroom.

When children feel that their views have been listened to and taken seriously, they are more likely to follow the contract (Article 12, United Nation Convention on the Rights of the Child). Material from Me, You, Everyone (produced by The Lift Off Initiative pp34 - 40) explores a whole-school Charter from a rights and responsibilities perspective (see the Suggested Further Reading section of this Unit).

WHAT YOU NEED- The class rules from Year 5

WHAT TO DO- A Rights Approach- Talk It Through- Brainstorm- Group Work- Motto- Review

Classroom contract

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A Rights Approach

Talk It Through

Brainstorm

Using a child friendly version of the United Nations Convention of the Child (UNCRC) (for example Primary Values p 232 or one downloaded from UNICEF), ask the children to plan how they will select which articles would apply to the classroom and which apply to the way they interact while at school. From those that apply, which articles are the most important for the classroom; can the choice be refined to about five? For example, the class may decide that articles 2, 8, 12, 16, 24 and 31 are most suitable. Can they be grouped to narrow down the final choice? What do the chosen articles mean in terms of the practical ways we interact?

For example, Article 8 means that we need to take extra care to learn the correct pronunciation and spelling of the names of those from other countries who have joined our class; what else does it mean? Article 30 may mean that we need to put up some signs around the school in the language of the children who attend it; does it mean anything else for your room or your school? Balance your exploration of the children’s rights

Plan with the children how the class will decide what the ‘contract’ will be called: contract; rules; agreement or some other term. Then, plan how they will derive the content of the chosen format - will the children work in pairs? Groups? If so, how many will be in each group? How will feedback be taken?

Begin by asking the class to think about rules that everyone must keep: speed limits, no smoking in public places, games, etc.

Brainstorm possible rules for theclassroom and list the suggestionsgiven. If the following have notbeen included, ask if they shouldbe added:

We will:- Listen carefully to others;- Speak positively to others; and- Respect other people’s views - even if they are not our own.

Display the previous year’s rules.Ask the children to read over therules and to think about whateffects - if any - they had on howthey worked and learned. Use the following questions as a basisfor discussion:

- Did the rules work?- If yes, how? If not, why not?- Can you think of any changes so

that the rules can work better?- What rules were particularly important?- Do we need to make up any

other rules?- Are there any we could/should

take out?- Are there any that need to be reworded? - How many do we need to have?

through the UNCRC by asking the children:- to suggest what everyone’s responsibilities would be in relation to the articles; and - how those translate into the practical outworkings within the classroom.

Exploring the articles and using them as a focus for discussion can result in a different way of drawing up a class agreement. Alternatively, you may decide to follow the approach outlined below.

Ask also about rules in any of the organisations that class members attend. Why are these rules necessary? Discuss the examples that the children give. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having whole-school rules. Discuss how the rules relate to wider issues of health, safety, fairness, respect, tolerance, commitment and so on. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of agreeing to a way of working in your classroom.

Next, explain that in the class you want everyone to be given a chance to learn and to feel valued and respected. If we are all to be able to talk about ourselves and what is important to us, we need to think about how we can make this happen.

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Classroom Contract

Learning activity 1: ln our class we ... (continued)

Group Work

Clarify any suggestions from the above questions that may be unclear to you or to the children. Decide on the categories for which you need to have agreement, for example movement around the room, safety for people to be able to give their opinions and so on. Discuss the suggestions, draw attention to any overlaps and negotiate with the children to combine or delete suggestions as appropriate. Agree on how many rules your class will have, and then ask the children to individually list the agreed number of rules that they think are the most important. When they have finished, ask them to form groups of four or five. Using their individual lists as a starting point, ask them to come up with a ‘final’ list of the agreed statements that are important to their group. Remind them to give reasons for their choices, for example: We speak quietly in pair and group work so that we do not disturb others. Have each group present their set of four or five suggestions to the other children and explain why they were chosen. Encourage them to use facts or evidence to support their choice without naming anyone or referring to specific incidents. Use the phrases Sometimes _____ happened or Some people _____ .

Try to agree a contract for working together in the classroom. Suggest a trial period, following which everyone can evaluate and amend the rules. Also, discuss how infringements should be dealt with. Display the agreement in a prominent place and give the children an opportunity to show the agreed selection to their parents and to discuss with them how the class has agreed consequences for infringement. Display the consequences near the agreement. This way, others who work with the children will know how your class works together and what to do when members do not adhere to the agreement. This ensures fairness, consistency and equality in practice and will be particularly useful for classroom assistants, lunchtime supervisors, other teachers in the school and temporary teachers.

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Classroom Contract

ln our class we have agreed that:We will speak quietly in pairs and group work so that we do not disturb others;We move carefully around the classroom so that

Motto

Place the children into groups, and ask each group to design a class motto and to present their choice to the rest of the class. Have each person, including adults, vote on one for the classroom. Together, decide how voting should take place. For example, consider using the Post-It Collection method detailed in Active Learning and Teaching Methods, p58. The chosen group could prepare their motto by incorporating it into a design for display alongside the class contract. The class could vote on the design as well.

Review

It is a good idea to review the agreement from time to time, or as issues arise, and amend as necessary. Consider appointing a group from the class council to monitor their effectiveness, and change groups from time to time throughout the school year until everyone in the class has been involved. Circle Time can also be used to involve teachers, classroom assistants, parent helpers, student teachers or lunchtime supervisors in evaluating the class agreement and/or its associated consequences.

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Learning activity 2: Maeve

SUGGESTED SUCCESS CRITERION

We will understand and talk about the importance of being empathetic.

CORE CONCEPT

We need to care about what happens to others and to think about the consequences of our actions.

POINTS TO NOTEChange any aspects of the language in the story with which you are uncomfortable. Alternatively, explain to the class that they will hear language in the story that they may not usually use. This is the language of the character in the story, Johnny Collins, and demonstrates his anguish.

The story and questions are designed to elicit discussion and develop empathy. They are not designed for written answers. This story provides an opportunity

Maeve

Read the story of Maeve with the children. You may need to read it a second time so that the children can pick out the detail of what happens. In groups, ask the children to recount the story and help each other to identify the main events. Ask them to note any part of it they did not understand or were uncertain about.

to discuss human rights and social responsibility and to explore sources of help and support for individuals and families from within the local community. These are important issues for all children and will give you an insight of the local community issues within your class.

WHAT YOU NEED- Maeve (Resource A)

WHAT TO DO- Maeve- Talk Together

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Discuss each part that has not been understood by asking if others in the class can explain. For example, some children may not know anything about St Anthony, but others may be able to explain who he was. Alternatively, have the children research any aspects that were not understood.

Use the following questions to develop discussion. Encourage the children to give reasons from the story or from their own experience for all answers.

- When do you think the story took place?- Where did it happen?- Who are the main characters involved?- Can you suggest why Johnny’s house smelled of smoke?- Why did Johnny have a new front door?- What age do you think Johnny Collins might be?- What can you tell about Maeve? - If you asked Johnny how he was feeling as he walked home from Chapel, what do you think he would have said?

Talk Together

Ask one group to recount in their own words the start of the story. Then, allow each group to add to the recount until the story has been retold in the children’s words. Alternatively, allow each group to make a storyboard and illustrate each part.

- When Johnny began to light the fire, why did he suddenly begin to tremble?- [Re-read the highlighted passage in the story] When you first heard this part, how did you feel?- If you were Johnny, what would you do?- If Johnny met the arsonist, what might they say to each other?- What questions would you like to ask Johnny?- In what way does the language of Lizzie and Kathleen reflect their feelings for Johnny?- Which Human Rights are violated when someone sets fire to another person’s home?- Which organisations care for people whose homes have been destroyed in your community?

Feel free to develop the story in whatever way you feel appropriate, for example:- What would have happened if ...- What do you think will happen next.....

You can extend this activity and the topics it raises by having the children:- write a newspaper report from the information you have in the story about the fire;- role-play characters in the story;- write character interviews based on the story, their own experiences and their sense of empathy for the characters;- rewrite the story from what they think would be the arsonist’s point of view;- determine what questions they would need to ask the arsonist to check if their thinking is correct;- work in pairs or small groups to rewrite the story as a play, comic strip, picture book, map, etc;- draw up a police report for each of the arsonists, determining what the essential elements of a police report would be and researching this with their local community police officer;- talk together about the consequences of actions in your particular community;- use the information from the story to draw what they think Johnny Collins would look like; or- more fully explore human rights issues relating to Maeve by using material from Me, You, Everyone, which is produced by The Lift Off Initiative and referenced in the Suggested Further Reading Section of this Unit.

Extension

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Learning activity 3: Conflict CORE CONCEPT

Children often find themselves in situations of conflict. This lesson reflects on situations of conflict and considers ways in which conflict can be managed.

Talk Together

Write the following statement on the board: We have talked together about conflicts, and this is one we have chosen for you to think about. Fair pair the children and have each pair copy the statement on a flipchart page and then use the page to draw and/or write down a conflict scenario. Ask each pair to present their scenario in written and/or art form to the rest of the class. The children may choose to represent conflict in an abstract form using a range of media, tools and processes. Does the conflict relate to the whole class or just to one or two people? When all the conflict scenarios have been presented, can any be grouped together? This is an opportunity to check out your own perception of the types of conflict that are relevant to your class or school!

POINTS TO NOTEThese activities link strongly with listening skills in the Green Unit and follow on from those experienced in the Year 5 Blue Unit’s Learning Activity 4. Our responses in conflict situations should be thoughtful and based on what we hear, what we understand to be the feelings of the speaker, and our own needs and feelings in that situation. We need to communicate clearly and with respect and empathy. The activities also link closely with those in the Red and Orange

SUGGESTED SUCCESS CRITERIA

We will identify situations where conflict occurs.We will discuss conflict situations and consider constructive ways of dealing with them.

Units because the better we know ourselves and the higher our self-esteem, the easier we will find it to manage conflict.

WHAT YOU NEED- Blank flipchart pages- Role-Play Situations (Resource B)

WHAT TO DO- Talk Together- Conflict Situations- Role-Play Situations- Reflection

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Conflict Situations Role-Play Situations

Ask the children to identify situations where conflicts occur (for example family, friends, class, playground, street, neighbourhood, religious or/and political groups, countries, etc.). Use the following questions as a guide for discussion on conflicts:- What happens?- How do conflicts usually end? Why?- Are there always winners and losers (only one person gets what he or she wants or needs)?- How can we distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’?

Next, present to the class this conflict between Andrew and Gillian. Andrew and Gillian are siblings. Gillian always gets up first, spends 20 minutes getting ready in the bathroom, and leaves Andrew very little time to have a shower unless he is prepared to get up very early to get in first. Gillian may want to spend 20 minutes in the bathroom, but both need to have enough time to get washed. Next, explain that it is best that children manage such conflicts themselves. Then, ask them if they can think of any

Select the most suitable scenario from Role-Play Situations (Resource B) or together devise alternative ones better suited to your class. Ask for volunteers to act out some or all of the role-play scenarios. After each role-play has been performed, use the following questions as a basis for reflection and discussion:- What happened?- How did the people in the role play feel?- How did you feel when you were listening to the speaker?- Did you check out their feeling(s)?- Were you able to identify and explain your own feelings?- Were you able to request what you needed to happen respectfully and without blame?- How did the rest of the class feel?- How did the conflict end?- Is this how conflicts like this usually end?- Were enough needs met for everyone that you were able to move on?- How might things have been different?

Consider calling back the children who did the role-plays to try out some of the class’ suggestions. When the role-play is complete, give time for the children to talk about the role-play and to de-role.

solutions to Andrew and Gillian’s problem. Answers might include limiting time in the bathroom or having a rota for ‘first in’. Finally, ask the children the following questions to prompt discussion:

- Can you think of situations where there are: - losers and losers (no people involved like the outcome); or - winners and winners (all people involved like the outcome)?- How do we ensure that enough needs are met to move on in a conflict situation?- What happens in situations where one or both of those involved in a conflict says nothing or walks away?- What conclusions can we draw from all of our discussion?

Reflection

- What have the ‘actors’ learned?- What has everyone else learned?

Ask the children to say what they have learned from their work in this lesson. Remind them to consider their choices the next time they find themselves in a situation of conflict. This unit is closely linked to the decision-making strategies explored in the Violet Unit’s Learning Activity 2. Encourage them to consider these strategies for making decisions. This will help them to decide what to do in situations of conflict.

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Learning activity 4: How do l manage conflict?CORE CONCEPT

Recognising our own attitude to conflict can help us to manage conflict more effectively.

POINTS TO NOTEThere are many different attitudes to conflict, and we may have different attitudes in different situations. Thinking about the different attitudes, recognising our own attitudes, and considering their strengths and weaknesses helps us to manage conflict more effectively.

WHAT YOU NEED- Animal Cards (Resource C)- Animal Descriptions (Resource D)- Teacher Material (Resource E)- My List of Guidelines for Dealing with Conflict (Resource F)

WHAT TO DO- What Am I?- Conflict Management- Children Managing Conflict

In Year 5, everyone was asked to identify their attitude to conflict. You may wish to revisit the owl, lion, teddy, rabbit, donkey, monkey, butterfly and parrot.

In this activity, we will together look at the dove, sheep, snail, elephant, killer whale, hippo, squirrel and frog. Look at this Year 6 set on its own, or, alternatively, look at these in conjunction with those from Year 5. The goal is to enable everyone in the class to identify the way they usually manage the conflict in their lives.

What Am I?

SUGGESTED SUCCESS CRITERION

We will demonstrate how to manage conflict constructively.

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My way of dealing with conf ict l

When situations of conflict occur outside the classroom, it may be useful to reflect on these as they happen and to remind the children of the strategies they have learned for handling them. The need to achieve a fair solution is strongly felt by children when situations of conflict occur. This can be difficult to achieve. Very often conflict is destructive, threatening and full of blame, leading to distrust and misperception. However, with careful management conflict situations can be handled respectfully, constructively and creatively, leading to growth and new beginnings.

As a teacher, you most likely often find yourself in the role of managing conflict. Resource E outlines options for teachers for handling difficult situations that may occur in the playground. The role of managing conflict is somewhat like the role taken on by adults in circle work. Judgement is suspended and you are not required to provide a solution. It may be done as part of circle work, if appropriate. However, it is not advised to use this approach with a group of children who have not previously participated in this type of work. If groups of children are involved in a conflict, allow each group to choose a representative to act as spokesperson.

Conflict ManagementTo begin, place the children in groups and give each group a set of the Animal Cards (Resource C). Ask the groups to lay out the cards so that they can be easily seen by everyone in the group. Ask everyone to silently identify in their mind a card that they feel most represents themselves. They do not have to let the other children know which card they picked. (You may, however, decide to ask the children to share which card they selected and to explain to their group why they chose it; only do so if you think this can be done sensitively). As a class, discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of each animal attitude and the skills that each may need to develop to be more effective in managing conflict.

Give out the description that goes with each animal (Resource D), and ask if the children agree that the description of the chosen animal is a true reflection of their attitude to conflict. If the children in your class are well used to speaking thoughtfully and sensitively to each other, ask them to share their animal choice with their group. Ask the groups to discuss whether they agree with the choice. In their opinion, does it reflect the child’s attitude? Why? Why not?

If you also used the set from Year 5, is anyone better described by an animal attitude from that set? Has anyone changed their attitude since last year? If so, why? How?

Involving children in managing conflict can be a very useful learning experience for them. The child chosen must be trusted by the other children, preferably nominated by them. It is an honour to be chosen, but the child needs to be well prepared. You can prepare them by allowing them to role-play situations. Resource F presents the children with some useful guidelines, which they can apply during role plays. When the children are engaged in a real situation of managing conflict, you will need to monitor them carefully. Many schools are involved in buddy schemes in the playground or in peer mediation schemes for managing conflict and receive special training for such situations.

Children Managing ConflictDealing with Conflict

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Learning activity 5: Direct communicationCORE CONCEPT

In the previous activity, the children learned about conflict situations. This activity looks at how we can respect our own needs and those of others to manage conflict in an assertive and polite way that does not intentionally hurt others.

POINTS TO NOTEConflict occurs everywhere - at home, in school, outside school and in the local and wider community. It is normal, but how we deal with conflict determines whether it is a negative or positive experience. Making it a positive experience needs a lot of practice. The way that conflict is managed in the classroom also needs to be consistent with your school’s conflict policy and practised consistently and fairly by the whole school community if children are to learn positive and constructive attitudes to its management.

WHAT YOU NEED- Magazines and newspapers with pictures- Scissors- Adhesive- Large sheets of paper- Saying It In A Better Way (Resource G)

WHAT TO DO- Collage- Talk About It- Communicating- Saying It In A Better Way- Voicing Your Needs- If There’s Time

Have the children form groups. Give them a selection of magazines and newspapers that have plenty of pictures in them. Ask them to find pictures that show people communicating with each other. When they have found a lot of pictures, ask them to sort them into two types: friendly and unfriendly. Ask each group to make two collages, one of each type. Have them paste their friendly pictures on one sheet and the unfriendly ones another sheet. Alternatively, have them add speech bubbles or words to the pictures they have chosen using appropriate friendly and unfriendly language. Put the collages on the wall.

SUGGESTED SUCCESS CRITERION

We will demonstrate ways in which we can voice our needs respectfully.

Collage

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Discuss with the children how we use words. Ask them to say: Give me the pencil in a friendly tone and then try saying it in an unfriendly tone. Discuss the difference. Have them think of other examples, and encourage them to think about the different meanings conveyed when the tone of voice is changed, for example saying Excuse me accusingly, doubtingly, questioningly, demandingly, apologetically, or respectfully (for example when the other person is engaged in another activity).

Explain to the children that we also communicate in a non-verbal way. We move our bodies in ways that communicate what we are thinking and what we are feeling. Remind them that we call this body language. We communicate much more without words than with words. Reflect on this with the children. Discuss with the children all the ways we communicate non-verbally (for example facial expression, eye contact, gestures, distance, touch and posture).

Explain that it is important that the words we use match both our tone of voice and our body language. Have the children work together to give examples of when we say something that is not matched to body language and tone of voice. For example, saying Please may I have the pencil through clenched teeth and snatching it at the same time creates a contradiction between our words and our non-verbal cues.

Then, ask the children: When we meet someone for the first time, what helps us in deciding if they are friendly or not? (If they are smiling, we will be more likely to feel comfortable and welcomed by them.) Ask them to think about how they decide if their friends/partners/teachers/parents are in a good mood or not?

Next, ask the children to role-play the way they have seen people communicating in an unfriendly way. Explain that we call this aggressive communication. Then, ask the following:

Communicating

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Bring the children together. Discuss their collages. Have each group report back and describe their collages. Use the following questions to encourage discussion:

- What are the feelings you think are being expressed?- Describe the posture of the people in the pictures?- What way are they holding their bodies?- Is all the communicating done using words?- What are the differences between the friendly and the unfriendly pictures? Try to use facts rather than adverbs and adjectives. Instead of saying ‘She looks happy’, think about what makes you think she is happy: her lips are parted, her teeth are showing, she seems to be smiling, her eyes have laughter lines, her forehead is not furrowed.

Brainstorm with the children words that describe friendly and unfriendly communication. Make lists of these words and give examples of phrases children use in these situations.

Talk About It

Learning activity 5: Direct communication (continued)18

- When someone communicates aggressively with you, how do you feel? (Different people may feel differently, and the class could represent a range of feelings.)

- In what way do you respond?

Read the following incident to the children:

One morning Raymond was walking along the corridor taking books from the classroom to the library. Sally was late for school and was running down the corridor. She bumped into Raymond and sent the books flying all over the floor. “You clumsy eejit!” shouted Raymond. “Look what you made me do.”

Ask the children how they think Raymond handled the situation. What might he have said that would have been assertive rather than aggressive? Discuss.

Ask the children to think of situations where they/others did not say what they wanted to say - where the words that came out were not the ones that they knew they should say. Ask them to give examples. Then, select a number of these situations. Ask the children to form into twos and threes to act out these situations and to communicate in a way that is not aggressive but addresses the needs of the situation (assertive).

Saying It In A Better Way

Together, brainstorm ways in which children sometimes communicate aggressively with friends in school. See Resource G, which presents some examples of aggressive comments with alternative ways of communicating beside them. Discuss these examples with the children.

Then, pair the children and have them write their own examples. These can be aggressive things that have been said to them in the past or ones they make up. Have them write examples of how they could communicate the same message in a way that was assertive but not aggressive. Let them talk about their examples and share them with the rest of the children.

If There’s Time

Ask the children to observe five people communicating during the coming week. Have them list the situations and say whether the communication was friendly or unfriendly. Also ask them to comment on how effectively the people involved managed the conflict. Ask them not to name people. They may also use situations from television or the local community newspaper. Discuss their lists with them at the end of the week.

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l need you to let me know if you are going to be late

l feel annoyed when l am left standing

Voicing Your Needs

If we use a person’s name or the word you and attack the way they have done something, this can sound very aggressive. One way of voicing our needs in an attempt to have them met is to use I statements, for example: I feel _____ when _____ and I need _____ . However, even these statements can sound aggressive when we include the word you, for example: I feel annoyed when you are late. A less aggressive way may be to recognise that these are your own feelings and say: I feel annoyed when I am left standing waiting for longer than ten minutes. I don’t like getting cold and I end up cross. As the children’s empathy skills develop, they will begin to recognise how their actions have affected others.

Together, examine the way you is used in the examples from the Saying It In A Better Way activity. Ask everyone to try to recognise their own feelings and needs when they are in such situations. After one week, discuss how successful you have all been in voicing your own needs in such situations. It is very difficult to rethink the way we say things and it takes lots of practice!

Resource ALearning activity 2: MaevePersonal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

by Jack Scoltock, 26 May 2000

MaeveIt was a cold, wet, blustery February day as old Johnny Collins hurried from the church. At the top of the street he had to stop to catch his breath because his lungs still ached from the smoke he had inhaled when the young arsonists had tried to burn him out. The biting wind threatened to topple him off his long spindly legs, but taking a deep breath and with one of his bandaged hands clutching his Sunday cap, he struggled against the elements. Two minutes later he reached his house. He took a deep breath and coughed several times to try and clear his lungs while he fumbled with the hand that had been less severely burned inside his greasy waistcoat pocket for the door key. As he pushed open his new front door and stepped into the hall, the lingering smell of smoke hit him. Though the hall had been recently decorated, it was still there: the sickening odour. As he locked his front door he called, “I’m back, Maeve!” and seconds later he was opening the sitting room door. “I’ll stick on a pot of tay, then I’ll get the fire goin’. I’ll not be long.”

Out in the scullery, he half filled the black based kettle and placed it on the gas ring, wincing as his shirt sleeve caught on the burns on his forearm. As the blue tongues licked at the drops of water dripping from the kettle, Johnny returned

to the sitting room. There he carefully folded his cap in two, placed it inside a brown paper bag and shoved it in the top drawer of his mirrored black dresser. His eyes lifted and he stared at his face in the dusty mirror. Reaching, he tenderly pushed what remained of his thick white hair back from the cracked, angry burned skin above his ears. Then, trembling as he remembered the arsonist’s Christmas present, he began to undo his wrinkled tie, wincing again as he gripped it with one hand and undid it with the other. As he pulled off the tie he said, “There was some crowd at Chapel today, Maeve. Remember Mrs Thompson? The one that married the Yank? Aye her. Well, her son and his wife and the wains were all sittin’ in the front seats, aye, near St. Anthony’s statue. The front row has always been the McGreevy’s and ye shoulda seen the face on Mrs McGreevy when she saw the Thompsons sittin’ there.”

Just then the kettle began to whistle and still cackling with laughter, Johnny returned to the scullery. After carefully dropping one spoonful of tea into the teapot he shouted, “It’s a pity ye weren’t there! Father Carlin, the new priest gave a fairly reasonable sermon today. He seems to have fitted in well. He seems very popular with the young ones.”

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Switching off the gas he remembered the fire. “I’ll light the fire now, Maeve. Ah Maeve, I wish ye could have come to mass with me. It’s all changed now though – the young ones singin’, guitars, a piano and all. Aye it’s different from my young days alright. Still, the singin’s very good.” He tilted the teapot carefully with this best hand and his breath rasped through his wrinkled, dry pursed lips as the tea spat the brown liquid into the cracked white mug. Seconds later, as hot tea threatened to dribble over the edge of the mug and trying to hold it steady, he walked slowly into the sitting room. His burned hands ached as he placed the hot mug on the dresser, starting a new ring to join the others on the dark varnished surface. Then reaching into his waistcoat pocket for his box of matches, he went over to the fireplace. As he bent on one knee, he grunted with pain as his vest slid up along the burns on his back. At the same time his knee cracked loudly. Moments later he was pushing a lighted match at the firelighter. As it quickly caught, he stared into the flames and suddenly he began to tremble. “Oh God!” he gasped, remembering that terrible night, the night of the fire. “Oh God!” It was over a minute later before he rose to his feet again. When he did, he stared down at the fire for several seconds and then still trembling, returned to the dresser and carried his mug to the armchair. With an “Ahh” he eased into it and took a quick sip of the warm beverage. Smacking his lips he eased deeper into the chair. “Now Maeve,” he said, “What about this afternoon? What’ll we do, eh? Go fer a walk?” He stared at the empty armchair opposite. The wood crackled in the fire and the flames struggling to reduce it to ashes as Johnny cupped his injured hands around the mug and took another sip.

“Will we go fer a walk?” Suddenly he sighed and turned away from the armchair and looked into the fire. The coal was beginning to catch, but the slow heat did nothing to dispel his depression. “Ah Maeve,” he croaked. “How I miss ye. Why did they have to burn ye? They musta knew I had no one else.”

With his hands shaking he tried to take another sip of tea but almost choking, he suddenly began to cry. As he bent forward the tea dribbled over his bandaged hands but he didn’t feel the pain. It would come later. Moaning, he placed the mug on the linoleum to one side of the chair and cried loudly, “They musta knew I had no on else. Why did they have to take ye from me? Why? Why?” With his hands on his face he rocked back and forth moaning, as his tears found their way through his pale fingers soaking into the tea sodden bandages.

After a few minutes he stopped crying, slid to his knees and crawled over to the armchair. Sniffing, he very gently brushed some white hairs into the middle of the smooth cushion saying quietly, “We’ll go to the park fer a walk eh. Aye, Maeve ye’ll like that. We’ll head up after dinner.”

At five past two, Johnny was approaching Kathleen Moore and Lizzie Morgan who were standing at the corner of the street gossiping. The rain had stopped and a late burst of sunshine had raised the temperature slightly. The two women nodded knowingly to each other as Johnny passed them mumbling to himself.

“Poor oul crittur,” whispered Kathleen.“Aye, his head’s away with it now alright.”“Oul Johnny’s gone through a lot. What were those young blackguards thinkin’ about when they tried to burn him out? And at Christmas too. Do you know what one of them said when he was caught?”“Naw, what?”“That he was bored. Bored! Imagine! Lizzie, when I was young I was never bored, were you? But Lizzie, just imagine the horror of it – petrol bein’ poured through his letterbox right on top of his oul dog too. It’s a good job one of his neighbours heard it screaming and saw the flames. The fire brigade were very quick to come. If it hadn’t been for the firemen oul Johnny would have burned to death too. And just because he was the only Catholic in the estate. But his Protestant neighbours were great! Imagine them rallying round to fix up his house? They couldn’t do much fer his oul dog.” She nodded after the old man. “He’ll miss it.”

“Aye, they were inseparable them two,” said Lizzie. “Except when he went to mass of course. Did ye know he tried to bring it into Chapel on Sunday but the priest made him take it home. Kathleen, that dog must have been a quare age, mustn’t it? When I was a wee girl I remember it was always with him.”“What kind of dog was it?”“Dunno.”“Poor wee thing.”“Aye.”

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Resource BLearning activity 3 : ConflictPersonal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

Role-Play Situations

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One Two Three

Sinead and her friends Lynn, Ciara, Helen and Ruby were skipping in Ruby’s garden.Sinead and Ruby were swinging the rope.Suddenly, Ciara rounded on Sinead, “You’re not holding the rope right!”

Chris and Pat share a bedroom. Chris, who is 10, likes his space to be neat and tidy.Pat, who is eight, is not concerned that it be neat and tidy.

Every so often their parents come in and complain to both of them about the state of their bedroom. Chris thinks this is unfair but always helps to tidy up Pat’s things.Chris has decided that enough is enough.Their bedroom looks like a bomb hit it, and their parents have just walked in.

The teacher left the room for a few minutes, having given work to the children to do.James broke up his rubber and started flicking the pieces at Mark, a boy whom everybody seems to pick on. The teacher came back in and found the pieces of rubber on the floor. She asked who was responsible. No one owned up. She asked again.

This time, Mark stood up and said, “James did it.” James looked mad and later in the line he said, “I’m going to get you, you rat!”

The next day, Mark and James met outside ...

Four Five Six

Suba, Kirstin, and Padmina sit at a table with Tony and Martin. The girls like to keep their desks neat and tidy and are always the ones putting pencils, pens, erasers and rulers into the box and collecting up the books before break or lunch. How can the girls suggest that the boys need to do their share?

When the teacher wasn’t looking, Maureen pulled Nuala’s hair. When Nuala turned around to see who had done it Maureen shouted, “It wasn’t me. It was Sheila!”

Rosemary was looking forward to her break because she had brought fresh pieces of orange segments. They would be juicy and sweet and the juice would burst out of each segment as she bit into it. Then William bumped into her in his rush out to the playground, the container fell to the ground and the segments landed on the floor!

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Resource CLearning activity 4 : How do I manage conflict?Personal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

Animal CardsSourced from Who We Are - Dealing with Difference written by Yvonne Naylor as part of the Transforming Sectarianism - A Project of the Irish School of Ecumenicsm (Trinity College, Dublin) from the research findings of Moving Beyond Sectarianism

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Available to download from www.ccea.org.uk25

Resource DLearning activity 4 : How do I manage conflict?Personal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

Sourced from Who We Are - Dealing with Difference written by Yvonne Naylor as part of the Transforming Sectarianism - A Project of the Irish School of Ecumenicsm (Trinity College, Dublin) from the research findings of Moving Beyond Sectarianism

Animal Descriptions

DoveThe dove is always trying to make peace, even when people are not ready for it.

SheepThe sheep is a patient listener and can also follow the crowd instead of thinking for her/himself.

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Available to download from www.ccea.org.uk

ElephantThe elephant is strong and steady and can also block the way to a possible way out

SnailThe snail withdraws when under pressure and refuses to share his ideas or opinions.

Killer WhaleThe killer whale is playful and also acts aggressively when wanting to win.

HippoThe hippo is easy going and also sits about looking bored and yawning all the time.

SquirrelThe squirrel stores up all the anger and hurt inside.

FrogThe frog hops about and says the same thing over and over.

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Resource ELearning activity 4 : How do I manage conflict?Personal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

Teacher Material: Conflict managementThe role of a teacher in managing conflict situations requires: - whole-school consistency of practice;- complete impartiality;- listening to the children’s stories;- being non-judgemental; - trusting the children to make suggestions and arrive at decisions; and- working with the children for a fair and workable resolution.

Before you begin the conflict management process, agree a contract. Have the children agree ground rules to follow during the process (for example statements about listening, respect for the other child, one person speaks at a time, etc.) Ask the children to suggest what it is best to avoid, for example:- blaming;- bringing up the past;- name calling;- walking away; and- not taking responsibility.

Also, everyone must agree to abide by the outcome.

When children are aware that they are going to be heard fairly, without harsh words or raised voices, they are more than capable of sorting out their own problems according to the agreed ground rules. You and the rest of the class need to resume normal activity as soon as possible while those who are in conflict sit quietly going through the stages outlined below. They should approach you when they have agreed: - what happened;- why it happened; and- what can now be done about it.

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Peace Area Approach

Some teachers have found it useful to have a specially designated area in the room where conflicts can be discussed. There is often a sign such as “We manage our problems by talking” and pencil and paper is available.

One method to use in this type of area is as follows:- Give each child involved a piece of paper to write down what happened - this is for their use only so they have no need to worry about handwriting, spelling or neatness!- Give the pair or group one additional sheet of paper. On this, ask them to record what each agrees did happen.- Have them then decide what could make the situation better.- Then, they come to you.

Other teachers have used just one sheet of paper and, without talking, the children involved take turns to write down one sentence at a time about what happened. The children continue to write until the order of events and cause is agreed. They can then discuss how to make the situation better and approach you with an explanation and a suggestion.

One way of approaching the stages of conflict resolution involves the following steps:

Step 1: OpeningParticipants sit in a comfortable place with each other, a peer mediator or the teacher.

Step 2: StorytellingEach speaker tells her/his story without interruption.

Step 3: ClarifyingThe listener repeats the stories as they are told. The issues causing the conflict are outlined with everyone’s agreement.

Step 4: Problem solvingUse the following questions and suggestions to manage the conflict and move towards a resolution:- How do you know there is a problem? What is the evidence?- What is the problem? - Define the problem in terms of the interests of the children.- Why did the problem arise?- What are the feelings and needs of each of the participants?- How can enough of these be met to enable everyone to move on?- Identify different solutions and explore these.- Evaluate solutions. - Do they address some of the needs of all involved?- Find areas of agreement (this may take more than one session).- Do not rush into reaching agreement (do not push or impose).- Develop an implementation plan (who does what? when? where?).

Step 5: AgreeingParticipants agree to the solution found.

Staged Approach

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Resource FLearning activity 4 : How do I manage conflict?Personal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

My List of Guidelines for Dealing with Conflict

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Agree ground rules.

Identify the problem.

Listen to each other’s story.

Tell the story back.

Check the feelings and the details.

What are the most important needs identified by those involved?

What needs to happen ‘to make it right’ for each person involved?

Brainstorm solutions.

Examine each solution - does it meet enough of each person’s needs to enable everyone to move forward?

Choose a solution.

What will each person do to make the solution work?

Agree what each person will do.

Meet again to see if the solution is working for both.

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Resource GLearning activity 5: Direct communicationPersonal Development and Mutual Understanding Blue Unit

Saying It In A Better Way

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Alternative commentAggressive comment

You stole my pencil.

Give me back my pencil.

I’m telling the teacher on you.

Wait until I get you.

I’ll get you back.

In a restaurant: This food is disgusting

I have lost my pencil. Have you seen it?

I would like my pencil back if you have finished using it.

I think the teacher will be cross if she finds you doing that.

I’m not very happy about _____ .

I get really annoyed when I think something is unfair, and I think that was a very unfair thing to do.

This food is cold. Could you please reheat it?Ask children to replace ‘cold’ and the solution with suitable alternatives.

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notes

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Wilson, J. Lizzie Zipmouth (Corgi Childrens: 2000) 0 55254653 4

Munson, D. Enemy Pie Binding Edition (Chronicle Books Library: 2000) 0 81182778 X

McKee, D. Tusk Tusk (Red Fox: 1983) 0 09930650 6

Ross, T. Oscar Got the Blame (Andersen Press Ltd.: 2004) 1 84270359 5

McKee, D. Two Monsters (Red Fox: 1997) 0 09922012 1

Bluthenthal, D. C. I’m Not Invited (Simon & Schuster Children’s Books: 2003) 0 74346813 9

Edwards, P. D. Rude Mule (Macmillan Children’s Books: 2003) 0 33396018 1

Stower, A. Slam (Templar Publishing: 2005)1 84011176 3

Burningham, J. Would You Rather (Red Fox: 1994) 0 099220041 3

Temperley, A. Harry and the Wrinklies (Scholastic: 2003)

Danziger, P. Everyone Else’s Parents Said Yes (Macmillan Children’s Books: 1990) 0 33031476 9

Tomlinson, T. Beneath Burning Mountain (Red Fox: 2001) 0 09940912 7

CCEA, Primary Values (CCEA: 2005) 1 85885337 0

Mosley, J. & Sonnet H. Helping Children Deal with Conflict (LDA: 2007) 978 1855034129

The Lift Off Initiative. Me, You, Everyone: Human Rights: Human Rights Education in the Primary School (Amnesty International, INTO, UTU)www.liftoffschools.com

Lynagh, N. and Potter, M. Joined Up: Developing Good Relationships in the School Community (NICIE and the Corrymeela Community: 2005) 1 87373930 3

For Every Child (Red Fox: 2002) 0 09940865 1

Active Learning and Teaching Methods for Key Stages 1&2 www.nicurriculum.org.uk

Finding words in other languageswww.yourdictionary.com

Circle Time Resourceswww.circle-time.co.uk

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child www.unicef.org.uk

Naylor, Y. Stepping Out (from the Transforming Sectarianism SEED Project, Irish School of Ecumenics, Trinity College Dublin)www.creni.org

School Councilswww.schoolscouncil.co.uk

Useful resources for PDMUwww.incentiveplus.co.uk

Fire SafetyNorthern Ireland Fire and Rescue Servicewww.nifrs.org

Suggested stories Suggestedfurther reading

Suggestedadditional resources