CONTENTS

THE BLESSING OF KNEES EREV ROSH HASHANAH 2009 Rabbi Judith HaLevy THE NEW HIGH HOLY DAYS Rabbi Judith HaLevy Navigating Through Life High Holiday sermon 5770 Rabbi Alan Henkin Erev Rosh Hashanah Rabbi Craig Lewis Musings on Unetanetokef: Living in the Questions RH 5770 Rabbi Michelle Missaghieh Taking Our Annual Inventory Rabbi Harry A. Silverstein Emeritus -- Temple Beth Am First Day of Rosh Hashanah, 1981 YOUR JEWISH OBITUARY Yom Kippur 2009/5770 Rabbi Stewart L. Vogel

THE BLESSING OF KNEES EREV ROSH HASHANAH 2009 Rabbi Judith HaLevy Shana Tova. Happy New Year. Today is September 18th. It turns out that it is exactly one year from the date when we all heard a deep rumbling. The sound had the quality of a shofar, a low, deep sound beseeching us : Wake up! Wake up! It was the sound of our financial markets shifting, cracking, opening, changing. Tadah Tadah tadah!!! It has been quite a year of change for all of us. This wake up call reminded all of us that stability is a myth, that change is a constant dynamic and that within that change there are many blessings, even though they may be accompanied by discomfort and pain. Baruch atah adonai elohenu melech haolam,shecheiyanu, v’kimanu, v’higiyanu l’zman hazeh. We say this “bracha” thanking God for sustaining us, for keeping us alive, and bringing us to this season even in unstable times- these have been shaky times indeed. You may have noticed that I am sitting more during these services, and standing on one leg a great deal of the time. That is because life became even more precarious last spring, when I ripped my knee to shreds wrestling a suitcase off of an airport conveyor belt. I admit that we have discussed airports before, but the luggage conveyor belt offers an unparalleled opportunity for spiritual growth and development. First and foremost, it presents a question of faith. Will my luggage come down that shoot? Will I spend the next 72 hours in the clothing that I am wearing, brushing my teeth with one of those flimsy toothbrushes? Will I be the only one at the wedding or bar mitzvah in jeans and a comfy sweatshirt? As the minutes pass, with no bag in sight, and I am increasingly certain God has abandoned me. At the same time, I push myself into the proper position, just in case by some miracle, my suitcase does arrive. Here, at the edge, there one can experience the ultimate equality- no First, Business or Coach; just a mass of humanity and the turf belongs to the strong. Suddenly, a shower of black bags comes down the chute. I have exactly twenty five seconds to identify my bag, lunge for it, and wrest it to he side without toppling myself or those around me. And lunge I did. Unfortunately, my timing was off, and the bag slipped from my grasp. I twisted and pulled- and twisted and pulled….. my knee. I heard an unpleasant sound, and fell backwards, bag over body. It could not have been more humiliating. I was literally on my knees. The Hebrew word for knee is Berech--- Beit, Resh, Kof. These three letters form the Hebrew root for knee, but these same letters are also the root of the word for blessing- b’racha. The blessing of our knees is the blessing of humility. It is only through instability, and often great pain, that we learn to bend our knees, and to bow to forces beyond our control.

For two months I limped along without seeing a doctor. I would just push through. Ominously, my knee began to buckle. I, who pride myself on my yoga-like flexibility, could hardly stand. I was forced to bend to reality. I had the meniscus operation in May. By the time I left for Israel in late June, I was feeling my limitations. “Just don’t walk to much,” the doctor said. Has he ever been in Jerusalem? The distances in LAX in seemed endless as I hobbled forward with my cane through the endless corridors. . And then, I made a fatal airport miscalculation. I wanted to bring a special gift to my uncle, and there was a fabulous offer on two bottles of Johnny Walker Black label in a cute carrying bag at the LAX Duty Free Shop. I lugged the bottles through a plane change at the Zurich airport, only to be told that I could not bring them through security. I would have to take them back to the El Al counter, three terminals away. Fine, I said, I have two hours. I’ll do it- they cost too much money. By the time I arrived at the El Al counter, I was in such pain that I finally asked for a wheel chair. OK, they said, but you will have to wait with the others. Others? It seems that a travel club of handicapped Israelis were on their way home via Switzerland. Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by a sea of wheelchairs. At first, I wanted so get up and shout- no, you have it wrong. I don’t really belong in a wheel chair. I am not one of THEM. But I was. I Am. As I waited helplessly in my wheel chair for a push through security, I could hear the words of the great Jewish –Zen poet, Leonard Cohen ringing in my ears: Some day, you’re going to get down on your knees You’re going to get down on your knees You’re going to get down on your knees. Please, don’t pass me by. For I am blind, but you can see I’ve been blinded, totally Please, don’t pass me by. I became a part of the world that was helpless, waiting for others for a push, a hand. I got it. Please, PLEASE don’t pass me by. Help me. Bless me. Thank You. And then, a great pool of blessing opened before me. The Hebrew word for pool, berecha, comes from that same root as berech –knee and bracha- blessing. .When we acknowledge one blessing in our lives, we see the pool of blessings, the berecha of brachot that surround us. In these pivotal moments, when we bend our knees in humility and gratitude, we are open to growth and change. I am so blessed. Those of us who live in Malibu and its surroundings are no strangers to instability. Fire sweeps through our canyons and floods crumble our hillsides, clogging our PCH artery and challenging our very existence. We all know the blessings that come from these times. We cooperate. We feed each other. We carpool. We express our gratitude to God

and the Fire department for saving our lives, our pets and our possessions. We change, if only for the moment, and become aware of our pool of blessings. The blessings of this past year have not been immediately apparent to many of us. Within days of the rumble of last year’s shofar blasts, our stock market wobbled and plunged. Many of us saw our portfolios shrink before our very eyes. The California real estate market took a dive. Even if our homes did not face foreclosure, the value if our homes shifted dramatically. ”Underwater” was no longer a surfing term. As the year progressed, it became apparent that we in Malibu would not emerge unscathed. Of course, the synagogue suffered as a direct consequence. When faced with job loss, or a weakened market, or even the fear of loss, membership dues are often the first payment to be delayed. Some tried to suspend their membership- we did not let that happen- just at the very moment that a synagogue community was most needed in their lives. “A Bad Economy Deserves a Good Community”. If you can help, please do. The blessing emerging from this moment of bent knees is that we at MJC&S have been taking networking and social action programs very seriously. Please bring back the canvas bag on your seats filled with canned good for food banks not only on Yom Kippur, but each time your attend the synagogue. These food banks serve the entire LA community, but ironically, more and more middle class Jews are slipping into the lines, driven by job loss and financial insecurity. It is especially difficult for Jews to bend our knees and ask for help. How’re you doing?” “ Just fine,” we say to one another. But I personally have seen a parade of people in my office this year who have faced months of unemployment, or who have seen their dreams of retirement wither. The downturn affects our entire social dynamic. There are more Dads picking up kids at pre-school, and more Moms returning to work. The economic realities have placed strains on our marriages, as discretionary income becomes less discretionary. Many of the changes have been beneficial- a bracha/ blessing- as Dads spend more time with their families, and “staycations “ keep us at home in beautiful Malibu. But many of these changes have placed severe strain on our resources, both personally, and in the community at large. But the blessing is there nonetheless. As we look back upon the trajectory of our lifetimes, we see that most of our defining moments have come in a time of challenge and instability. When we lose jobs or change locations, when we experience rejection, or even endure the loss of a loved one , we re-evaluate, and often change for the better. It is not the devastating event itself, but our reaction to that event that has made us into who we are today. We now come to the core question of this Erev Rosh Hashannah 5770: How have I reacted to the stresses of this year? Where do I need to make amends? Where do I need to stop blaming others, and accept responsibility for my own greed or inattention?

Where have I been impatient and short tempered with those around me? Have I allowed my fears to reduce me to a place of inaction? Am I able to see the blessings in the changes that confront me? The Talmud (Berakot 5a) tells us that when troubles arise, a person must first must “m’fapasesh b’maasav”, examine his own actions. What signs of danger in this world of “forever, better, bigger, more” did I ignore along the way? What are the lessons that I must pass to my children? Do I understand that I can not protect them from their own hard earned lessons and challenges, and that surely I can not guarantee them a smooth sailing from pre-school to a lucrative career? This is the time to bend our knees, acknowledge our blessings, and solidify the understandings that we have gained though this time of struggle. Recovery, they tell us, is right around the corner. Will we simply return to our old ways? Will we return to a wasteful use of power and water? Will our banking system revert to the same scenario of unregulated excess? Will we again care more about the counter tops in our kitchen than those who have nothing to eat? Last year, many of us carried signs or sported buttons that read “Change! Change! We did, although not always of our own volition. Now is the time to embrace to positive changes, and to do “tshuvah”, to change the practices and policies that have led us astray. This period of time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur mandates that we make our confessions aloud, and seek to return, not to the status quo, but to the place where we are better human beings. As Donniel Hartman says, often our behavior is “katan Alenu”, too small for us, like an old suit. We ALL can do better. In the worlds of Leonard Cohen , the Zen poet “Elderly Jew” who filled Staples Center last spring: DON’T BE THE PERSON YOU CAME WITH. Don’t be the person you came with. It is only through our trials, our struggles and our adversities that we get on our knees and change. A world with no growth, and no change would be boring indeed. It is only through disruption and change that we grow into the human beings that God meant us to be. Since the expulsion from the Garden of Eden, humanity has struggled through life’s challenges and changes. But would we really want it to be otherwise? Would we really desire to return to the Garden? I don’t think so. Consider this story of Adam and Eve adapted from the book “Capturing the Moon” by my colleague Rabbi Ed Feinstein. This fantasy takes place many years after their exile from the Garden of Eden.

From the day Adam and Eve were exiled from the Garden of Eden, they struggled to stay alive. Their sons, Cain and Abel, you will remember, were difficult.

Childbirth was no picnic either. Adam struggled to till the ground, and in the bad years, there was little food. All that clothing needed to be repaired and replenished. It was never easy. At last, they retired, and went on their dream vacation. They journeyed from one corner of the world to the other, exploring God’s wonders. In the course of their journeys, they came upon a place that seemed so familiar. It was the Garden of Eden, now guarded by an Angel with a flaming sword. Suddenly, they heard a gentle voice. It was God, who spoke to them and said “My children, you have lived in exile these many years. Your punishment is complete. Come now and return to my garden. The angel disappeared, and the gate to the garden was opened. But Adam hesitated and said to God, “You know, it has been so many years. Remind me, what’s it like in the garden?” “The Garden is Paradise, God responded. In the garden there is no work. There is no suffering, no pain. In the garden there is no death, no time, only an endless today. In the garden there is no change. Adam considered God’s words. He thought about a life with no work, no struggle, no pain, and no passage of time. He turned and looked at Eve, his wife. He looked into the face of the woman with whom he had struggled to make a life, to take bread from the earth, to raise children, to build a home. He read the lines on her face, and saw all of the changes they had endured, the tragedies overcome and joys they had cherished. Eve looked back at Adam’s face, and saw how much he had grown, how wise he had become since that day when she offered him that snack of an apple. As all their shared challenges came back to her, Eve took Adam’s hand . And then, looking into his wife’s eyes, Adam shook his head and responded to God’s invitation. “No thank you”, he said. That’s not for us. We don’t need that now. We’ve changed. Come on Eve, he said to his wife. “Let’s go home”

Let’s go home. Let’s spend the rest of this evening exploring our challenges and our changes of this past year and the year to come. Don’t be the person you came with. Let’s bend our knees, release our egos, and acknowledge our pool of blessings. Shana Tova-For a year of good change

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THE NEW HIGH HOLY DAYS Rabbi Judith HaLevy Please Rise. Let’s bow our heads, curving our bodies slightly like the curve of the shofar, as the sound calls all of us to full attention BLAST OF SHOFAR Please be seated. We are here, present, and this is a moment of reverence and remembrance. Rosh Hashanah is known as Yom HaZikaron, the Day of Remembrance. To remember, we must be fully present .We laugh about our senior moments, those moments when we stand hopelessly in front of the open refrigerator door trying to remember why we entered the room. My favorite story of the year is about Ethel and Sylvia, out for a day of shopping. They are in Sylvia’s car, and Ethel appreciates the ride. Therefore, she says nothing when Sylvia zooms through a red light. Then another red light. After Sylvia runs the third red light, Ethel can’t stand it any more. “Sylvia,” she says, “You ought to be more careful. You’ve now gone through three red lights.” Sylvia looks at her, absolutely amazed. “You mean” she says, “I’m driving?” We all need to stay present as we drive our lives down this bumpy road of life. We can only hope, as they say, “God is our co-pilot”. The three sections of the shofar service that we are about to begin, Malchuyot, Zichronot and Shofarot summon us to be present, and to pay attention to God’s presence from earliest creation until this present moment. We remember, and in turn we ask God to remember US with compassion and mercy. Zochrenu l’chaim, we pray. Remember us to life. Today is Yom Hazikaron, the Day of Memory. We will spend the next ten days remembering our own deeds and transgressions, until the final blast of the shofar on Yom Kippur shakes the heavens with our plea. May we all be inscribed for another year in the Book of Life. Today, the sound of the shofar reverberates around the world, as Jews begin the each shofar service with the shofar blasts of “Malchuyot”. Wake Up Be Present! Adonai Melech, adonai malach, Adonai Yimloch l’olam v’ed. The Majestic God of Creation rules in the past, present and future, we declare. For every Jew, this is Rosh Hashanah, the day of remembrance. Over the last ten years, however, an amazing metamorphosis has taken place. Slowly, organically, even among the most secular populations of Israel, a NEW High Holidays have emerged along side the Torah mandated holidays that have sustained Jews for millennia. Just as there are really two markings of the New Year in the Torah, one at the start of Nissan, the first of months declared as the Jews left Egypt, and our own first day of Tishrei, Rosh Hashanah, so there are now two holidays called Yom HaZikaron, the Day of Remembrance in Israel. On both days, it is a penetrating sound that calls people to stop! Pay attention! Israel’s Yom Hazikaron, or Memorial Day, has become a sacred time, when thousands gather at

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Har Hertzl, the national cemetery, to honor those who have died in the defense of the Jewish state. A siren blast sounds, and all come to quiet attention. Those present bow their heads as if listening to the sound of the shofar. This is not a memorial day of barbeques and furniture sales, but a day of deep, sincere reflection .Har Hertzl, with its wind swept pine trees overlooking the city of Jerusalem, is holy ground. This is a Day of Remembrance. The inclination for spiritual reverence, the need to acknowledge that we are not in control of life and death, is essential to the human psyche. No matter how secular, all Israel stops to honor those who have given their lives. The TV is the great Shul, as people spend the day at home watching interviews with the families of those who have lost loved ones. No one is forgotten. Every soldier counts. It is holy time, no less holy than the time that we spend here today, attuned to the sound of the shofar with absolute attention. I experienced this absolute attention this summer on the day that the bodies of Regev and Goldwasser were returned to Israel in a prisoner exchange. Regev and Goldwasser, you will remember, had been kidnapped two years ago, leading to the start of the second Lebanese war. The entire nation grew silent, glued to the television, as they watched the procession wend its way down from Lebanon, carrying the bodies home. Outside of Israel, it seemed difficult to understand how the country had exchanged so many prisoners, and dangerous ones at that, for two bodies, but in Israel, it made sense. A promise had been made to remember all soldiers, and to bring them home by whatever means possible. The prisoner exchange was really about promises and memory. And as we remember, we want God to remember. Does God the Creator, the God of the first section of the shofar service, Malchuyot, really hear our plea? Does God really “remember us for life”, zochrenu l’chaim? Does the God of History intervene in our lives? The God of Malchuyot may be distant, but the God the second section of the shofar service, called Zichronot/remembrances is the God of Noah, a God who listens and cares.

And so, with love, did you remember Noah, Even as you brought the Flood upon the world

This is the God who sustains us throughout the generations, the God that we hope will remember our deeds with mercy and loving-kindness. It is the God of Noah that we turn to when we face loss and despair. Intellectually, we may only conceive of a God who is a Prime Mover, a detached creator of this glorious universe, but when “tsuris” shows up, this is the God of Noah that we pray to with great fervor. ‘And God remembered Noah and every living thing….” The covenant of Remembrance, of Zichronot, is with all the living, and to be reminded of God’s enduring mercy, one need only look to the rainbow in the sky. It is a universal promise to all humankind.

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But then, there’s the special section for “family and friends”. God promises to pay special attention to Abraham and his descendants, and when they languish in slavery in Egypt, God remembers.

And God heard Israel’s cry of pain, and God remembered the covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob.

God extends his mighty arm, and takes the Jews out of Egypt. He leads them to Sinai, where the Holy Shofar sounds with a blast that echoes throughout all eternity. Here, God forges an indelible bargain with the Jewish people: Shamor v’Zachor- Obey and Remember my commandments, I will be your God, and the God of all your descendants. God becomes the God of history, and we become His people, attached by a kind of umbilical cord to our history, our culture and our civilization over centuries. Memory, Zichronot, is the theme of Rosh Hashanah, our Day of Remembrance. In the words of the great Rabbi, Avraham Joshua Heshel, Judaism does not command us to believe, it commands us to remember. We sound the shofar in the middle section of the service, named Zichronot, to remember all that God’s love for us in the past, and to ask that we too be remembered with mercy. Recollection is a holy act; we sanctify the present by remembering the past. No wonder the founders of the state of Israel began their declaration of Israel’s existence with a recitation of Israel’s connection to Jewish history. The opening words of the Declaration of the Establishment of the State of Israel proclaim:

“Eretz Yisrael, the land of Israel, was the birthplace of the Jewish people. Here their spiritual, religious and political identity was shaped. …Impelled by this historic and traditional attachment, Jews strove in every generation to re-establish themselves in their ancient homeland.” Judaism commands us to remember. There is to be no establishment of the State of Israel without a continuous link to Jewish history.

Sixty years have passed. The “Zionist project” as it is now called in Israel, has taken on a memory of its own. The establishment of the state of Israel has added a chapter to the long legacy of Jewish history, and only now is it beginning to memorialize its own sacred story. No matter how secular, or even anti-religious Israel’s founders might have been, there is an inherent need for “Zichronot”, to remember, and to frame our lives in a spiritual context. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are celebrated in Israel much as in the rest of world, but the twin new “holidays” of the late spring bring a special sense of reverence to Israelis who may never enter a synagogue or recite a prayer. The entire country is present. Remember. Yom HaShoah, the day of Holocaust Remembrance, Israel’s other “new” holy day, comes one week before Yom Hazikaron . It too is inextricably bound to the Zichronot theme of Rosh Hashanah- Does God remember us? What happens when God’s face appears to be hidden? Or, to restate the overarching question of twentieth century Jewish history- Where was God in the Holocaust?

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For many, the establishment of the state of Israel is an answer to that question. While the early Zionists had labored for almost one hundred years to establish a state for a “New Jew”, free of European historical stereotypes, it took the shock of the Holocaust to force the world into accepting the establishment of the State of Israel as a reality. In the years immediately following the Holocaust, Jews did not know how to memorialize the six million who perished. There were only half-hearted attempts at a memorial day, both in the Diaspora and in Israel. It takes time to deal with a shock of this magnitude, and to place it within the scope of Jewish history. Our wounds were too raw. Not only that, but Israel in the early 50’s and 60’s had a mixed reaction to the cataclysmic event. Israelis did not wish to look back on the weakened, vulnerable Jews who went to the gas chambers. This was to be a time of the invincible new Jew, crowned as the hero of the ’67 War. Better not to look back. Survivors kept their stories to themselves, greeting their children’s questions with silence. Haim Gouri, an Israeli poet of the 60’s, captures the legacy of the Holocaust for Israel in a poem that places the story clearly within the context of Jewish memory: The ram came last And Abraham did not know It was the answer to the boy’s question, The boy, the first issue of his vigor in the twilight of his life. He lifted his hoary head. When he saw it was no dream, and the angel stood there- The knife slipped from his hand. The boy unbound saw his father’s back. Isaac, we’re told, was not offered up in sacrifice. He lived long, Enjoyed his life, until the light of his eyes grew dim. But, he bequeathed that hour to his progeny. They are born with a knife in their hearts. Born with a knife in their hearts, the next generation of survivors could not forget. By the 80’s, Israel had been humbled, and after the Yom Kippur War, it was clear that Israel needed the help of the Diaspora. And where were World Jewry and Israeli Jewry to meet on common ground? In Auschwitz. Today, twenty –five percent of all Israeli students go to Poland, and all high ranking Israeli army officers visit Auschwitz. As my teacher Rabbi Donniel Hartman points out, Israel has now adopted the Diaspora’s reasoning for

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the foundation of the State of Israel- not to create a “New Jew”, but to provide a haven for all Jews from anti-Semitism. Never again, scream the fighter planes as they fly in formation over Auschwitz, never again will we be at the mercy of others, as long as the State of Israel exists to defend the Jews from anti-Semitism. And so, eight days before Yom Hazikaron in Israel, another holy day of memory is observed, Yom HaShoah. As the siren sounds simultaneously all over the country, people step out of their cars and stand by the side of the road to remember the six million who perished. It is as if a holy shofar has been sounded to pierce the hearts of all who are living. The sound cuts across religious barriers; no one dares to ignore the siren’s sound at this utmost moment of sanctity. Shevarim! (broken-broken-broken) We have been broken in order to heal. We have begun to place the events of the twentieth century in the memory bank of the Jewish people. Is this enough, Donniel Hartman asks? Is Israel to be a country whose holy moments are dedicated the dead? Is Israel’s self definition only to be a haven from the endless scourge of anti-Semitism? If is Israel is not dedicated to the creation of a new Jew, what is the reason for Israel’s existence? What is to be Israel’s relationship to the Diaspora? To Jewish Memory- Zichronot? We are a people united by memory and history. Israel and the Diaspora-One people, different memories. Ben Gurion may have envisaged a time when the majority of Jews would live in Israel, but this has not proven to be so. Diaspora Jewry, Jews outside of Israel, have continued to develop and grow, despite the challenges of assimilation. As a liberal, female American rabbi, I am given far more opportunities to develop my Jewish spirituality here in America than I would as a rabbi in current day Israel. These very services, which I believe are grounded in tradition, yet open and accessible to all, would be difficult to find in Israel today. It is the sound of the shofar that links all Jews; the Jews of Malibu and the Jews of New York, of Argentina, of Ubekstan and Bukahara, of Paris and New Zealand and the Jews of Israel. We cry out in wordless communication as the sounds of the section called Shofarot complete the final round of the shofar service. Shofarot is dedicated to communication, between us and God, between the Diaspora and Israel, between Jews and all humanity. We sound the shofar to invoke not only God’s Kingship, and God’s memory, but to the open possibilities of the future, even if we do not yet know the words that the future will bring. The bridge that floats between us is carried on this sound. Together, we take a step forward into the unknown. We rise, all of us, to hear the sound of the shofar, and enter the New Year that waits before us.

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High Holiday sermon 5770

Navigating through Life Alan Henkin

In the medieval days of Marine navigation sailors made use of something called a chip log. Essentially it was a crude speedometer, it was a light line knotted at regular intervals and weighted to drag in the water. It was tossed overboard over the stern of the boat as the pilot counted the knots that were let out during a specific period of time. From the number of knots the pilot could figure out the speed that the vessel was moving, and therefore its approximate location. This is reason why, to this day, we refer to miles-per-hour on water as... knots. In this era of Global Positioning Systems, Google maps and sigalert.com, it is easy to forget how people used to get from one place to another safely and efficiently. I suppose that the earliest and still most reliable way to get around is by landmark. If you were an ancient mariner, you would stay close to the shore and you navigated by landmarks or land characteristics that you could see. Same thing on land -- you would travel towards this mountain or that hill or along the river. As time went on, folks began using other means to find their way. For example, Floki Vilgjerdarsson (Vil-jer-dar-son), a great Viking explorer credited with the discovery of Iceland, carried aboard his ship a cage of ravens. When he thought land should be near, he would release one of the birds. If it circled the ship without purpose, land was not near. But if the bird took off in a certain direction, the boat followed, knowing that the raven was heading towards land. It is kind of like the story of Noah, who let loose birds to determine whether the Flood had receded to safe levels. Eventually the Chinese around the year 210 BC or BCE began working with a magnetic compass, which they eventually utilized as a navigational aid. After a long period of time the compass gave way to the astrolabe, the sextant and then the gyroscope. Then came radar and GPS and computer guidance systems. And well, here we are today... I heard a story about the different ways in which men and women tend to navigate. I know you're thinking, "Yeah women ask for directions; men don't." They say that men's inability to ask directions is genetic. That is the reason it take 280,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg. None would bother to ask for directions.

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But seriously... Imagine this conversation: the woman is driving, and she calls her husband for directions from the car. He: "At Devonshire and Reseda you gotta turn south." She: "South?! Which way is south? which way should I turn?" He: "You know, south. Towards Northridge Park." She: "Ohhhh. OK. Thanks." You see, according to studies -- and this is a huge generality -- men tend to navigate by the compass, and women tend to navigate by landmark. Men tend to orient themselves by the four points of the compass: north-south-east-and-west, and women tend to orient themselves by their surroundings. Clearly this is grossly stereotypical, but it is an intriguing notion that we orient ourselves in our physical world either by landmark or by compass. This idea, that we navigate by landmark or compass, applies to our moral and spiritual life, as well as to our physical life.

Sometimes we make our way through life by means of goals and sometimes we make our way through life by means of rules and guidelines. Goals in life are like landmarks; they let us organize information, plot a particular course of action, and give us a means of knowing how much progress we have made. Guidelines, rules and laws are like compass points; they structure our lives and make our direction predictable and knowable.

Torah is like a compass, the preeminent compass of life for us Jews. The Torah actually determines our direction; the direction in which we pray. We all think that we Jews are supposed to pray facing east. That is a very weak custom; the Torah trumps east. In this sanctuary, for example, east is that way, but we pray facing the Torah -- and that is as it should be. The Torah determines the direction of our prayers. The Torah is our compass in another way: It provides us with the most the most sublime ethical rules in all of Western civilization. In the Holiness Code that we read on Yom Kippur afternoon we find some of the most astonishing ethical laws of the Torah: "You shall be holy, for I, the Eternal One your God, am holy": "You shall each revere his mother and his father;" "You shall not steal; you shall not deal deceitfully or falsely with one another":"You shall not render an unfair decision." Let's take one of these ethical compass points and follow its direction for a moment. Deuteronomy 19:14 says, "You shall not move your countryman's landmarks, set up by previous generations." In biblical times they had no surveyors to determine a real property's boundaries, so land was demarcated by piles of stones serving as landmarks. Little prevented me from moving the pile of stones a few yards from my property onto yours, enlarging my field and enriching me. The Torah made this serious offense,

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usually committed in secret, a crime. This prohibition came to be called hasagat gevul, "encroaching on a boundary." But subsequent Jewish law expanded hasagat gevul to forbid many other kinds of financial misappropriation, such as using someone else's words (copyright), the location of similar businesses next to each other, soliciting another synagogue's members for your own synagogue, and other forms of unfair business competition. The point just is,/ that, in this one little verse, meant to maintain geographic boundaries, the Torah can provide us with powerful ethical direction as we navigate through life.//

If the Torah functions for us as a compass in the navigation of life, Shabbat functions more like a landmark, a constant by which we can orient ourselves around the week, month and year of our lives.

I think of the Shabbat as the Jewish people's spyhop. Do you know what spyhopping is? It is a kind of whale behavior that Orcas, killer whales, in particular, display. It is when they vertically propel themselves half-way out of the water and tread water, so to speak. It is not breaching or lunging; the Orca rises half out of the water and holds the position. Evidently, Orcas, which have very good eyesight, do this in order to view their surroundings -- the shore, the whale watching boats, or whatever else in nearby on the surface. They use this spyhop to orient themselves to the world above water. Shabbat is our spyhop. We too take a break from our workaday lives, look around ourselves to get our spiritual bearings, and align ourselves with our world above us. Shabbat is when we tread water, instead of fighting the brutal currents that buffet us during the work week. On Shabbat we raise ourselves above the tumult and chaos that surround us, and locate ourselves in the ebb and flow of life. Shabbat serves as a landmark in our weekly life, giving our lives a rhythm and a goal. We work hard for six days or go to school but on the seventh day a new routine takes over. Ideally we have a special Shabbat dinner, we enjoy the company of family and friends, we attend synagogue and pray and study. Our week builds up to Shabbat for the peak of our week, and rest.//

I want to suggest that the synagogue itself is yet another landmark in Judaism, enabling us to navigate life. Throughout the many centuries in the many lands of our Jewish sojourn/ the synagogue has been the central institution by which Jewish society has organized itself. Meeting place, worship place, learning place – the synagogue is all these and much more.

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In the Mishnah we read that a person must not make a synagogue into a kappandaria. The Talmud asks, what is a kappandaria? The answer, it decides, is a shortcut. You can't make a synagogue into a shortcut. If you're walking on Rinaldi Court and you want to get to Chimineas, you can't cut through TAS as a shortcut. No, synagogues are not shortcuts.

You can’t just go to a synagogue and sit and expect to be educated.

You can’t just go to a synagogue and sit and expect to be spiritually. You can’t just go to a synagogue and drop off your kids at religious school and think that the synagogue alone will make your kids into Jews.

Synagogues are not shortcuts to living Jewishly. Synagogues are

places where learning is available to you if you are willing to study. Synagogues are places where spirituality awaits you if you work at your praying. Synagogues are places that you can partner with you in making Jews and mentschen of your children if you will hold up your end of the partnership. Synagogues are beacons that can illuminate your path as you go on your journey through life. A synagogue is a place where you can find comfort in your bereavement, joy in your celebrations, and companionship and love among friends. In the synagogue your soul can stretch horizontally to encompass other seekers like yourself or soar vertically to experience God in the way that only you can do so. The synagogue is our lighthouse, lighting the way to home and safety and love.

My friends, Judaism provides us with multiple ways to help us find our

way in life. We have guidelines and rules, and we have landmarks in time like Shabbat and landmarks in space like Temple Ahavat Shalom. Let us use them to steer our through this complicated life we live. Let us look to Shabbat to locate ourselves in sacred time, and let us re-discover Temple Ahavat Shalom as the sacred place from which Jewish learning, companionship and prayers flow.// At a Ramadan dinner a few weeks I met a deputy chief of the LAPD, and he told me a story that happened long ago when he was driving a black-and-white cruiser. It seems a seven-year-old girl who got lost in Encino. The girl was frantically running up and down the streets looking for some place familiar. The LAPD officer spotted her, and drove her around the neighborhood. Suddenly the girl excitedly pointed to a synagogue, and she shouted, "This is my Temple. Now I know where I am! I can find my way home from here!"

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Just so... May Ahavat Shalom and the Judaism that it embodies be the place from which we too can find our way too.

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Erev Rosh Hashanah

Rabbi Craig Lewis

Most of us, if not all of us, have heard of a Passover seder. Some of us may have

even participated in a Tu Bishevat seder, but how many of us have done a Rosh

Hashanah seder? It is a real custom that grew out of the Jewish communities of North

Africa. Thirteen years ago, back when I was an exchange student living in France, I was

invited to dinner by a Tunisian Jewish family. In their home, I was lucky enough to

participate in my very first Rosh Hashanah seder. At first, it was a little like at Passover.

There was a seder plate covered with various types of food. Also like Passover, each food

on the seder plate was actually a holiday symbol, and each one had its own meaningful

blessing. Among the things we blessed were things I recognized, and others were kind of

exotic for and Ashkenazi kid who grew up in Kansas.

In one part of the seder, a blessing asked that our good deeds be numerous like

the seeds of a pomegranate. I loved the pomegranate. Then a blessing asked for God to

repel our enemies as the garlic makes others turn away from us. The garlic was all right.

Then we had lamb to remind us of the binding of Isaac. The lamb was really good. But

after that, I think the seder went a step too far. Imagine my shock when on my plate, I

was presented with the head of a fish. Sitting there in stunned silence, I was reminded me

of one of my favorite movies. A family is out at a Chinese restaurant, and when dinner is

served, the family shrieks. The Peking duck is actually Peking at them. It was brought to

the table head and all. The waiter asks if there is a problem, and the dad says, “It’s a

beautiful bird. It’s just that it’s smiling at me.” That was exactly how I felt about the fish

head. It’s not that I didn’t eat fish. It was just that this one was smiling at me. I started to

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wonder if my hosts were just having fun with the foreigner, but when I heard the blessing

for the fish, I knew it was no joke. The fish head was a very meaningful symbol for the

Jewish new year.

This was the blessing we said:

Yehi ratzon milfanecha Adonai ELoheinu v’Elohei Avoteinu shenihyeh lerosh velo

lezanav.

May it be your will Adonai our God and God of our ancestors that we will be the

head and not the tail.

It is a beautiful blessing, and it is one we probably want to fulfill. So it might be

helpful to understand more about this strange custom and what it actually means. “To be

the head and not the tail” can be understood in different ways. From a biblical

perspective, it means that we, the people of Israel, are to have a place at the head of all

nations. It means we are blessed as a nation with a place of honor and leadership. What is

missing from this explanation however, are the details. How do we actually become

worthy of such distinction? Why should any of us be made the head? An answer to this

question comes from a midrash, one of the Jewish Legends. It tells of a snake. For many

years, as nature intended, this snake was guided by its head. The tail, one day, feeling

unappreciated, decided to voice a complaint. “Am I not a member of the same body?” the

tail exclaimed. “Do I not also have a stake in its management?” The head rebutted, “But

you have no eyes or ears to know that danger is coming. And you have no brain to do

anything about the danger. How can you lead?” Still, the tail persisted. “No longer will I

submit to your tyranny,” it said to the head, “I insist on taking the lead.” They argued, but

eventually the head gave in and allowed for the tail to lead. Before long, the snake ended

up stuck in a ditch. It slowly made its way out, but soon found itself trapped in a patch of

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thorns. Again, the snake struggled to work itself free having suffered many deep and

painful wounds. And still the tail refused to relinquish the lead. It continued on, and

before long, it lead the entire snake into a fire where it was destroyed

The head believed its role was to look out for the entire body while the tail cared

only about its own pride. To be the head, the midrash is teaching us, is to act in ways that

benefit the whole of our community, going well beyond our own interests. To be the head

is to be a leader, paving a path for others. To be the head is for each of us to live a life so

full of meaning that it is indeed worthy of God’s blessing. The key to fulfilling our

blessing in the New Year, to be the head not the tail, is to be for others just as much as we

are for ourselves.

For inspiration, let us consider a man named Keith Michaels. Keith is a gifted

runner. He has been in hundreds of races, 5k’s, 10k’s, marathons. He has done them all.

He could compete and focus on improving his personal best times. Instead, Keith chooses

to run his races quite differently. As part of the Achilles Track club, he encourages

people with disabilities to just get out there and run. Keith has found his niche in the

Achilles club volunteering as a guide for the visually impaired. He does not mind going

the slower pace of a less experienced runner. He never loses patience with the cautious

steps of his blind partners. “There is nothing,” Keith says, “like crossing the finish line

with the [] runners I guide. It’s an incredible feeling.” He describes this feeling, no doubt

enhanced by endorphins, as spiritual. When he runs, Keith feels a genuine connection to

another person. There is a chemistry of communication as they anticipate each other’s

strides, as they listen to each other’s breath, and as they sense subtle body movements

which indicate changes of direction. For Keith, the race is not about how fast he goes

from start to finish. Instead, it is about being in tune with the needs of others so that they

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might know the thrill of crossing the finish line. He believes that guiding for Achilles has

done more for him than anything else in his life. “There was a time in my life,” he says,

“when I needed a lot of help, and people were there for me… [Now] I’m doing

something I love to do, and at the same time I’m helping somebody else do something he

or she loves to do. It’s just a little more fulfilling because it’s not just me, me, me… it’s

us.”

Keith Michaels knows-- running is a lonely sport. But in his selfless guidance and

leadership, he has become part of a community. In that community, Keith enables others

to join the race and to reach their personal bests. He is for himself as much as he is for

others. May his example inspire us to fulfill our New Year blessing.

Inspiration can also be found in the story of Matt D’Arrigo. Ever since childhood,

Matt’s passion has been to become an artist. Unfortunately his art studies were

interrupted when, both his sister and mother were diagnosed with cancer in the same

year. Matt dropped out college to care for them. At first he had no time to work on his

craft. However, as the stress of caring for his family became overwhelming, he needed to

take breaks. He would escape to his bedroom. There he would listen to music as he

absorbed himself in painting. Over time, the easel, the canvas, the music, they became his

refuge. He never stopped taking care of his mom and sister, but he also took time to

release his feelings through his paintbrush. One day, as he mixed his palate of colors,

Matt had an idea. Art had helped him deal with adversity, and he wanted to help others,

especially children, to find the same escape. “I wanted,” he has said, “to help others feel

what I had felt when I was painting….Art had given me a reason to survive.” And that

was the beginning of his foundation, “A Reason To Survive,” A –R-T-S. After returning

to school and completing his degree, Matt started out small. He gave free art classes to

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children at the Ronald McDonald House. After his success there, he started receiving

several grants, and eventually he had enough money to build his ultimate dream, a 7,000

square foot center for ARTS activities. Art, for Matt, became much more meaningful than

being his personal expression. It became a means to help people and to honor the life of

his mother who ultimately lost her battle with cancer. Through his work at the Pat

D’Arrigo Art Center, Matt D’Arrigo helps children to express themselves and to cope

with adversity. Whether they are homeless, hungry, or sick, his goal is to help kids take

their minds off their circumstances-- to just allow them to be kids if for only a little while.

Talking about his work, Matt says, “You can see the calming effect [making art] has on a

child.” He has helped thousands of children to find special meaning in their own artwork.

And in their art, we see his masterpiece. Matt D’Arrigo is for others as much as he is for

himself. May his example inspire us fulfill our blessing for the New Year.

To find even further inspiration, we do not have to look far. This spirit of service

resonates through the halls of Shir Ha-Ma’alot. To this end, our Rabbi Emeritus, Bernie

King, once wrote a letter to the entire congregation, and Rabbi Steinberg gives a copy of

this letter to every family who enters our B’nai Mitzvah program. The letter calls for all

B’nai Mitzvah students to complete a Mitzvah project as part of their preparations for the

big day. It proposes that in “Bar-Mitzvah,” we emphasize the Mitzvah more than the Bar-

- in other words, emphasize service to our world community more than the

accomplishment of one person. “Imagine,” Rabbi King wrote, “Imagine what this would

do for the child involved, the child’s family and friends. Think of the self-worth

engendered by a child who helps save a life, brings cheer to the infirm, works for the

needy, donates time to the financial gifts of a worthy cause.” All around our Temple

community we can find the fruits from those seeds planted more than 27 years ago. Every

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student in our B’nai Mitzvah program does some form of community service. With great

pride, each of them reports back on what they have done, and they just seem to get it.

What they gain from their service far outweighs what they put into it. And many of these

young adults continue their projects well beyond the day of their B’nai Mitzvah

celebrations. Whether they have adopted a grandparent, or coached disabled children in

baseball, or helped homeless pets, or tutored other kids in reading, our b’nai Mitzvah

have been for others as much as they have been for themselves. In approaching Mitzvah

projects with maturity, they indeed become adults in the Jewish community. May they

continue to inspire us to fulfill our New Year blessing.

This same spirit of service can also be found among our post B’nai Mitzvah

community. Actually, it’s more like post-post B’nai Mitzvah. In the past year we created

a Jobseekers’ group at the Temple. Our purpose was to provide a place for congregants to

gather, to network, to work on their resumes and interviewing skills. As we know, in the

current economic climate, there has been significant demand for such a group. However,

the numbers have started to dwindle, and mostly for the good reasons we wish for-- that

people are finding work. As attendance has declined, I have done some asking around to

see if the Jobseekers Group was meeting the needs of its constituents. The answers have

been somewhat surprising. Though the wording has varied, the statements have generally

gone like this.

“Honestly, Rabbi,” they say, “I come because I am hoping that my experiences

can help others. I figure while I am trying to help myself, I might help out somebody in

the same situation.”

It is a remarkable statement. When we feel the loneliness that comes with a

pinkslip, or the isolation of scanning job boards, or the insecurity of waiting for just one

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interview call back, when we are overcome by these feelings, who could blame us for

only taking interest in ourselves. Yet even feeling the stress of a job search, they were

still driven to be for others as much as they were for themselves. Their example helps us

to see—when we share our resources, when we raise each other up, even in the most

trying of circumstances, when we do these things, we can work to fulfill our blessing

from the Rosh Hashanah seder.

In our quest to fulfill this blessing, may find inspiration all around us. After all, it

can be anywhere we look. It is on a race course with people like Keith Michaels. It is in

an art studio with people like Matt D’Arrigo. It is right here in Shir Ha-Ma’alot with each

and every one of us.

So, tonight, as we celebrate Rosh Hashanah, let us focus our thoughts on service

others, to being for them as much as we are for ourselves. In this holiday season, let us

reach out to people in need, and strive to make a real difference in their lives. Now, at the

“head” of this new year, let us be worthy of this seder blessing.

Yehi Ratzon Milfanecha…

May it be your will Adonai our God that we will be the head and not the tail.

Let us all say, Amen.

Shanah Tovah.

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RH 5770 Rabbi Michelle Missaghieh

Musings on Unetanetokef: Living in the Questions Final Draft

During sermon this morning –in-depth look at one prayers. Unetanetokef Chanted it this morning Again on Y.K. One of the unique prayers of the HH – Always raises so many feelings, reactions, thoughts Anger, confusion Mainly - uncovers questions…. Questions about Our purpose How to live What’s important …. Begin with a question: What’s the first question in the Bible? Before humanity – no questions. Day one – light Day two – separation of waters above, waters below. So on, so on. No questions. No dialogue No people First question occurred in the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve – just ate from forbidden fruit God calls to them- Ayecha? Where are you God really doesn’t know?! No, God doesn’t. Yes – in Garden That’s not the question.

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That’s not what God is asking. Ayekah?! Where are you?! Not only first question Eternal question. Ayekah? Where are you? Where are you spiritually? Morally? What have you done with your life? What are you going to do now? Adam and Eve get the question. “We’re frightened, we were hiding.” Yes, we’re frightened. Life is sometimes terrifying. It was in the Garden and it still is today. What’s the first question Moses asks God? Burning bush. No shoes Just run away from a murder Left his home, not really ever his home. God tells Moses to lead the Jewish people out of slavery. Moses asks: Mee Anochi? Who am I? Not, who are you God? Not, why do you need me? Not, what’s your name?

- but who am I? Mee Anochi? These are today’s questions. These are life’s eternal questions. Look at the top of p. 70 Unetanetokef Kedushat HaYom Let us proclaim the sacred power of this day

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It is awesome and full of dread For on this day your dominion is exalted Your throne established in steadfast love There in truth you reign… In truth you reign? What is truth? The Talmud teaches God’s seal is truth Emet in Hebrew. Alef-mem-taf Alef – the first letter of the alphabet Mem – middle Taf – last To teach that truth is only attained when we understand the Beginning Middle & end of a story Of our story Of each of our stories But we are finite & God infinite. So how do we live in truth? Story: Students of the Baal Shem Tov came to him one day with a question. "Every year we travel here to learn from you. Nothing could make us stop doing that. But we have learned of a man in our own town He claims to be a tzaddik, a righteous one. If he’s genuine, love to profit from his wisdom. But how will we know that he teaches the truth How do we know if he’s a fake?" The Baal Shem Tov looked at his earnest hasidim. "You must test him with a question." But first I have a question for you: "Have you, my students, ever had difficulty with prayer? Mind wander? Thoughts fly from image to image, worry to worry?"

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"Yes!" the students cried out. "We try to think only of our holy intentions as we pray, but other thoughts come into our minds. We’ve tried many methods to focus Nothing seems to work." "Good," said the Baal Shem Tov. "Ask him the way to stop such thoughts from entering your minds." “If he has an answer, he is a fake." What does it mean to live in truth? Even a great tzaddik can’t reach it So how can we? And the irony is that on RH and YK I thought we were supposed to be honest with ourselves Truthful Wear white Not hide To me, living in truth means we’re human, We’re fallible It means that just like the hassidim in the story our actions wander they stray from their ideal. That Truth with a capital “T” is alienating. Unattainable. But truth with a lower case “t” - the truth we seek today can be found - it can be found around the edges. When we start to fray, When we go astray, When we look at ourselves in the mirror and say: That’s not the person I want to be. Yet how often are we fakes? do we pretend to reach for God’s seal, The seal of truth, to impress cover up Or delude ourselves & others?

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& even worse – When do we use truth as a weapon? The Talmud raises a question: If one sees an ugly bride what should one say? The house of Hillel says: always say “What a beautiful bride” The house of Shammai says: No, you speak the truth. I’m not interested in being friends with Shammai. When the truth becomes absolute, Emet turns to met Truth turns death. Because when we’re not careful - truth destroys The bride turns pale our goodness is compromised. The eternal questions echo in our hearts: Ayecha? Where are you? Me Anochee? Who am I? Back to page 70 In truth You are Judge and Arbiter, Counsel & Witness You write and You seal. You record and recount. You remember deeds long forgotten You open the book of our days. And what is written there proclaims itself, For it bears the signature of every human being. Who is this Judge on high? And where are we? Have we lost all control? Is this a distant, harsh, unforgiving God? & if so, why would I want to have anything to do with Her? Actually on RH and YK we learn that God metaphorically leaves His throne in heaven And gently sits down next to each one of us. In fact we aren’t judged from above, But from within, next to, along side of.

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So often we judge. We look quickly Assess, make snap decisions And move on. Rabbi Zoe Klein taught me: “We read ‘Made in China’ and we forget it really says ‘Made by Wong Pong 14 years old, likes catching toads.’ We allow people to be faceless, Anonymous Storyless Nameless We allow ourselves to be heartless.” Rosh HaShannah has many names One is Yom HaZikaron Day of Remembrance. Today, who is the other we need to remember? Who(m) did we ignore? Whom did we pass over? Whom did we judge too fast? Whose deed did we long forget? Whose signature did we overlook? & who is the self, in each of us, we need to uncover? Back to p. 70 The great shofar is sounded. The still small voice is heard. The angels, gripped by fear and trembling, declare in awe: This is the day of judgment! How does one hear a still small voice of silence? The prophet Elijah heard silence. Escaping Queen Jezabel’s wrath Elijah ran away Hid in a cave. God came. There was a great wind But God wasn’t in the wind. Then an earthquake.

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But God wasn’t in the earthquake. Then a fire. God wasn’t in the fire. Then there was a kol d’mama dah’kah Literally: a thin voice of silence. & God was in the silence. [1 Kings 19] Tradition teaches that when God gave the 10 commandments It was overwhelming. God only pronounced the first letter of the 10 commandments- Not the first word Just the first letter… Then Jews shut down. They couldn’t take it. Too overwhelming. God had to stop What was that first letter? Aleph Aleph has no sound. A silent letter. Yet God was in the silence & the silence was crushing. We live in a world with very little silence. Talk a lot Radios Ipods Phones Computers They beep, buzz, ring. Lately I’ve come to understand the power of the shofar differently It’s not the shofar blast that’s important. Blasts, booms, crashes – we hears those all the time. It’s the silence after the shofar. The shofar screams: “Turn off the background noise. Wake up. Ask yourself:

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Ayekah? Where are you? Mee Anochi? Who am I? Stop talking. Stop rationalizing. Stop telling lies.” Turn to p. 71 On Rosh HaShannah it is written, On Yom Kippur it is sealed How many pass on, how many thrive Who shall live, and who shall die Many of us cringe at these lines, We know they’re real But we can’t live there every day. We can’t start our car Drive to work Go grocery shopping and say… “Huh, today might be my last day.” We just can’t do that. So once a year For 10 days we let down out guard, admit we’re vulnerable & ask How do we want to live? Not how long, but how. My father-in-law died last year The day before Kol Nidre He was buried the next morning. I called him Papa. Here’s how his life began: Alone in his crib. His parent’s first child. And due to childbirth complications his mother died. He was three-days-old. At his bris,

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When he was 8 days old, He was given the name Chaiym “the one who possess life” In memory of his dead mother Chaya. This is how is life ended: He was 75 years old. Finished his daily morning exercises Took a shower And apparently felt a bit dizzy He gently lay himself down on the tile floor of the bathroom Closed his eyes And died. Papa began his life alone A naked 3-day-old child With a father unable to care for him. & he left this world alone - On the black and white tile floor. We don’t choose how and when we are born. We don’t choose how and when we die. But the in-between is in our hands. Papa created his in-between He married Raised 6 children with his wife, my mother-in-law Secretly paid for the burial plots of those who couldn’t afford to. & brought many unconnected Jews back to the study of Torah Most of all – created a home where love, laughter, and family dinners were his pride and joy. Unetantokef reminds us God decides when we’re born & when we die. But the in-betweens are in our hands And when we forget to create To search

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To grow To be in awe. Then we die. Something in us dies. Our openings and closings turn into a flute that sits on the shelf An accordion who’s air is stagnant A bow separated from it’s cello. P. 71 – this is the last passage I’d like to reflect upon.. Our origin is dust, and dust is our end. Each of us is a shattered urn, grass that must wither… A dream soon forgotten What does it mean to be a dream? A dream as in – something foggy, nocturnal, unreal? A dream – as in a message from somewhere beyond our normal realm? Or a dream as in – I have a dream!, a wish, a hoped-for-future? Perhaps to be a dream combines all three. To be a dream means we are Beings who live in this world Yet constantly intuit a world beyond Souls who understand that we are all somehow connected to a force we can’t see, touch, feel or smell. To be a dream means we are spirits who embrace the mystery of life , it’s harsh reality, and yet constantly work for a better world. It means we’re people who sense that the seemingly trivial details of life, are not random and insignificant But laden with meaning. That nothing is accidental Everything is multi-layered All is contorted Convoluted Condensed Inverted and rearranged. To be a dream is to say:

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Ultimate meaning is found both within, among & and beyond. My hope and blessing for each of us in this new year is… To be a dream and as we create our in-between To live in truth To hear the silence To see the invisible among us. To wake up each morning at the gates of the garden of eden & ask the first question in the Bible: Ayekah? Where are you? Mee Anochee? Who am I? These are life’s ultimate questions. Our life & how we live it Is the only answer.

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Rabbi Harry A. Silverstein

Emeritus -- Temple Beth Am

First Day of Rosh Hashanah, 1981

Taking Our Annual Inventory

The Torah reading for this first morning of Rosh Hashanah told of the birth of Isaac to Sarah

and Abraham in their old age. "And the L-rd Remembered Sarah as he had said, and the L-rd did

unto Sarah as he had spoken" (Gen. 21:1). "And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his

old age" (Gen. 21:2).

In this morning's Haftorah portion, taken from the First Book Of Samuel, we read of the birth

of Samuel to Elkanah and Hannah. For many years, Hannah was childless. Finally, the High

Priest Eli heard her prayers for a child, and gave her his blessing. A year later, Samuel was born

to Hannah and Elkanah. So we see that both Sarah and Hannah felt that life was not complete

without a child.

Later we find that Isaac's wife Rebecca was barren, without children. "And Isaac entreated the

L-rd for his wife, because she was barren, and Rebecca, his wife, conceived" (Gen. 25:21). Later

we read of our matriarch Rachel, "And when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she

said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or else I die'" (Gen. 30:1).

The portion of the Torah which we read this morning is also read during the course of the

annual weekly cycle of the Torah portion. Today's portion is also read during PARSHAT VA'YERA,

the fourth portion of the Book of Genesis. The Haftorah portion of THAT Shabbat is similar to

the story of Sarah and Hannah who had no children for many years. It's the story of the Prophet

Elisha and the Shunamite woman who, with her husband, was very hospitable to Elisha and his

assistant Gechazi. She too, like our matriarch, wasn't able to conceive, and Gechazi said to the

Prophet Elisha, "Verily she has no son and her husband is old" (Kings II, 4:14). Elisha told her

that in a year's time, she and her husband would be blessed with a son, and so did it happen.

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"And the woman conceived and bore a son at that season, when the time came around, as

Elisha had said unto her." (Kings II, 4:17).

The narrative then tells us that the lad grew up, went out to the field to his father. He became

ill and fainted and was brought to his mother who held him on her knees till Noon, and then

we're told that he died. Then she had her husband send one of their servants with her to find

Elisha and Gechazi.

When Elisha saw her, he had Gechazi ask her: "Is it well with you? Is it well with your

husband? Is it well with the child?" (Kings II, 4:26). Surprisingly her simple answer was "It is

well." "Everything is fine." She didn't want to talk of her troubles in front of anyone. We are

then told that Elisha put his mouth upon the child's mouth, and his eyes upon the lad's eyes,

and his hands upon the boy's hands, and he stretched himself upon him, "And the flesh of the

child waxed warm" (Kings II, 4:34). And the child came back to life, a miracle. And Elisha Said:

"Take up your son," (Kings II, 4:36) which she did.

There is one aspect of this story that everyone ignores, and that is the three questions that

Elisha asked of the young Shunamite woman. Do you remember these questions? "Is it well

with you? Is it well with your husband? Is it well with your child?" And even though she thought

her son was dead, she said "Shalom," "Everything is fine with me."

These seem like simple questions. Actually, they were very profound questions. I believe

these three questions should be the questions we are asking ourselves on this YOM HA'DIN, this

Day Of Judgement. When we take a CHESHBON HA'NEFESH, an inventory of our lives as we ask

ourselves (Silverman High Holy Day Prayer Book, Page 31):

What are we? What is our life? What is our goodness? What our righteousness? What our

help? What is our strength? What is our might? What can we say beofre you O'L-rd, our G-d

and G-d of our fathers?

We're interested in knowing whether we're successful or failures in our lives. What's the first

question Elisha asked? "Is it well with you?" He wasn't asking: "How is your health?" "How do

you feel?" He was asking a totally different question.

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The word SHALOM has many meanings and emotions. It means "Peace." It means "Hello." It

means "Goodbye." And it comes from the work SHALEM which means complete.

When Elisha asked, "Is it well with you -- HA'SHALOM LACH" -- he meant, do you feel

complete? Do you feel as if you're in a state of peace? Is your conscience clear? Is it at peace, or

is it bothered? That's what he was asking her. Can you live with yourself, or is something

bothering you? When you arise in the morning and look in the mirror, can you look yourself in

the eye? Or are you ashamed to stare at yourself?

I don't mean this in regard to the physical picture you see. William Pitt told the artist: "Paint

me with all my warts." Do you feel you're doing something meaningful in life? Are you satisfied

with your life? Are you happy, adjusted, contented?

At times we can be our own worst enemies. In The Ethics Of The Fathers (Pirke Avot) we're

told: "Rabbi Eleazar Ha-Kappar said: "Envy, desire and ambition drive a man out of this world"

(Pirke Avot 4:28).

Three things can make a person dissatisfied with him or herself. These are three major causes

of unhappiness, people are jealous. Someone in the office just received a promotion, so-and-so

is earning $100,000.00 a year and has good tax shelters. He drives a Rolls-Royce, he has a young

wife.

Sometimes things are not what they seem to be. We think others are better off than we are.

We may think the other person's load is lighter, but no one wants to trade problems. The

Dubner Maggid once gave a parable. A horse and a mule were pacing down a road. The horse

was strutting proudly. He was bedecked with many ornaments while the mule was lumbering

along under the weight of two heavy sacks. The mule looked enviously at the horse and said: "I

wish I could change places with you. You get the best of everything. Your saddle is beautiful.

When it comes to hard work, why, you are immune from it. Such a life as yours is worth living."

A few days later, a war broke out. A soldier, engaged in combat, rode that horse. An enemy's

bullet hit the horse, wounding him fatally. As the horse was heaving his last breath, the mule

arrived on the scene, carrying a cask of water for the soldier's comfort. Eyeing the dying horse,

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the mule said: "O' dear friend, now I realize that my begrudging your life had no basis in

reality." "Better a poor security than a rich danger."

Yes, envy is one of the greatest destroyers of human happiness. Most of the time what we see

is an illusion. The grass always seems greener on the other side. The next great destroyer of

human happiness is the TA'A'VAH -- lust or desire. Rabbi Judah The Prince said: "A person dies

without achieving even half of what he desires of life." People who live in small homes want

larger ones. If your neighbor has a maid, you need a maid and a gardener.

Some men want to feel young by marrying wives much younger than they. There's the story

of the Yeminite Jew who arrived in Israel in 1948. In Yemen, if an Arab walked on the sidewalk,

the Jew had to walk on the street so he would be lower. If an Arab rode on a horse, the Jew had

to ride on a donkey. In Tel Aviv, he walked into a tall building and saw an elderly lady enter the

elevator. A couple of minutes later, he saw a young lady walk out of the same elevator.

Immediately he ran home, grabbed his wife, brought her to the building and shoved her into

the elevator.

The third great destroyer of human happiness is KAVOD, people want honor. We live a few

miles from Hollywood where it's very important to have top billing on the marquee. People are

desperately searching for honor. They are insecure -- not sure of themselves. In The Ethics Of

The Fathers we read, "Whoever seeks honor, that honor eludes him," In November of 1980,

after Ronald Reagan became President, Jody Powell, Jimmy Carter's Chief Of Staff Said: "The

day after the election, the telephones stopped ringing."

My friends, at least once a year, we have to ask ourselves: "Was I envious, lustful and a seeker

of honor?" "Is my conscience clear?" "Have I insulted or embarrassed anyone?" "Am I satisfied

with my lot in life?" Now is the time to get our priorities in order and to correct our behavior.

There was a second question Elisha asked of the Shunamite woman: "HA'SHALOM

L'ISHAICH?" -- "How is your husband?" In a sense he was asking: "How is your home life? Is

there love and affection between you and your husband, or is there strife and animosity? Is

there trust and confidence between the two of you, or is there suspicion and strain?" Do you

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know how to say, "I'm Sorry" to your loved one? To compromise? To be considerate? To share

common interests? To be able to communicate with each other? Is your home still a Jewish

home, or is it simply the house in front of the garage?

You who are husbands, do you run so fast to business that you forget to walk through life's

joys? No grindstone can sharpen affection or give an edge to living. No one has ever packaged

love nor packaged friendship, except in his heart and by the work of his spirit.

You who are wives, are you more concerned over a wrinkled forehead than over a wrinkled

spirit? Seek an inner beauty, of which the outer will be a reflection. To your faith, are you a

Royal servant, a daughter of the King of Kings, the Holy One, Blessed be He?

To husbands and wives who are in the Autumn of life, is each day beautiful with the bright

and lovely colors of the fall? Do you share beautiful memories? Has some seed of kindness,

which you planted long ago and have since forgotten, taken root somewhere and flowered in

some good life? Are the boughs of your Tree Of Life heavy with the fruit of love from dear ones,

and of affection from friends so that you have no regrets for the past, no dissatisfaction with

the present, no concern for the future? Will you always be wanted and needed because you are

always loved?

There was still a third question: "HA'SHALOM LA'YELED" -- "Is it well with your child?" How is

it with your children? What kind of children are you raising? Are you proud of them? Do you

have Nachas? Are they respectful or self-centered? Are they kind or irresponsible? Do they

have compassion for others, or are they spiteful? Can you have a heart-to-heart talk with them,

or do they simply ignore you? Do they write to you when they're away at college, or is the only

time you see their handwriting when they endorse your monthly check?

This is what Rosh Hashanah is all about, our children. Are our children another link in the

chain of our family's way of life? Or are they merely strangers to us and to what is important to

us? Is each day a growing day for them, with strength for the body and spaciousness for the

spirit? Are you encouraging them to love knowledge and to understand the friendliness of

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books and the joy of music? Can you teach them not to be afraid of their own weaknesses, nor

of the world's evil? Do they know how to hear G-d and to trust him?

Does your devotion to your children serve their needs and their abilities, and not YOUR

ambitions? Are you helping them to grow into what they have the capacity to become, and not

what you think they think they ought to be? Are you molding them in the image of G-d, and not

in your own image?

My friends, who is successful? He or she who can say SHALOM LEE, my conscience is clear, My

home life is strong. My children are truly a source of pride to my wife and me. That is the true

meaning of success.

I hope that when we ask ourselves these three questions, we will be able to reply: SHALOM

LEE -- It is well with me. If so, we are truly successful, and may we continue to be successful

during the coming year.

AMEN

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Yom Kippur 2009/5770 Rabbi Stewart L. Vogel

YOUR JEWISH OBITUARY

How many of you play the Jewish obituary game?

What is the Jewish obituary game? It is a take off on who is a Jew, in which we try and figure out which famous people are Jewish, but this one deals with obituaries. Namely, by looking at someone's obituary can you tell if he or she is Jewish?

The game is pretty simple; based on the information contained in the newspaper obituary, is it possible to determine that the individual was Jewish. This past year I became interested in the game as I pondered how people's Jewish identity is reflected in their life story.

It is not always easy. The first hint is the name. Cohen's and Levi's are a shoo-in. So is a Katz. Even first names are important in the game, Isadore and Leon to name two. But so many Jews have changed their names that it is hard to tell. And even Jewish sounding names are tricky, for example Mike Meyers and Joy Behar who both sound very Jewish are not.

But names are just the first part of determining whether the obituary concerns a Jewish person. Sometimes there is a secret code like, "the son of Eastern European immigrants." Other times it is more explicit, and will mention "the daughter of Jewish parents." Most emotional is when an obituary declares, "whose family fled Nazi Germany."

But what does it mean to be born of Jewish parents? What relevance does it have about someone's life? If an obituary contains the most important elements of a person's life to be remembered, I began to reflect on what makes the life of someone who is Jewish, Jewish. Did he want to be remembered as being Jewish? How did her Jewishness manifest itself? Did his life values reflect Jewish values?

So during this past year I began playing the obituary game with the LA Times obituaries, but only the larger obituaries that indicate someone of significance. And each time their Jewish identity was not clear from the obituary I would do additional research to verify their Jewish status. Who did I find?

Helen Suzman, who is described in her obituary as being born in South Africa to "Lithuanian Jews who had emigrated to South Africa to avoid religious persecution." Who was Helen Suzman? She was a South African opposition leader who battled apartheid at a time when it was unfashionable for a white person to do so. Nelson Mandela was quoted as saying, "Mrs. Suzman was one of the few, if not the only, member of parliament who took an interest in the plight of political prisoners...It was an odd and wonderful sight to see this woman peering into our cells and strolling around our courtyard. She was the only woman ever to grace our cells."

When I asked Duke Helfand, a columnist at the LA Times, about when the Jewish status of a person is mentioned in a newspaper article or obituary, he responded, "when it is relevant." So, what was relevant about Suzman's Jewishness? I found one piece of the puzzle in the NY Times, when it described how she would be shouted down in Parliament on at least one occasion with “Go back to

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Israel!” While not described as a Zionist, her Jewish identity was known and it must have meant something to her.

Another obituary prompts a question for Jewish trivial pursuit: what other Jewish woman besides Golda Meir was elected Head of State. The answer: Janet Jagan. Janet who? Janet Jagan was born in the United States as Janet Rosenberg, married a Guyanese citizen. She and her husband were very involved in politics in Guyana and her husband was ultimately elected President in the first free-elections in Guyana. When he died she was named prime minister and eventually elected president on her own. Her obituary described her as being born into "a middle-class Jewish family in Chicago." Did her Jewishness mean anything to her? After all, her father originally disowned her when she married her non-Jewish husband. I found an article in which, when pushed about her Jewishness, Jagan responded that her Jewish background had sparked her "interest in the underdog and in helping out the impoverished of the world," If that is not a Jewish influence I don't know what is.

By the way, one clue in the Jewish obituary game was place of birth. Like Irving Kristol, referred to as the grandfather of neo-conservatism, and whose obituary simply said born in Brooklyn, New York. In looking over the obituaries, I came to the conclusion that basically anyone born in Brooklyn should be considered Jewish.

And then there was Army Archerd, who by name and appearance couldn't possibly be Jewish until I read, that he criticized Michael Jackson for the anti-Semitic lyrics “Jew me/Sue me” and “Kike me.” Jackson recanted and promised Archerd he would re-record the song. Another time, Archerd called Marlon Brando out for using an anti-Semitic slur in an interview. Finally, a Jew who felt compelled to champion a Jewish issue- now we were getting somewhere.

I found dozens of expansive obituaries describing Jews in the fields of science, economics, finance, medicine, politics, music theory, literature and many more, previously unknown to me, who were recognized not for fame, but rather for their contributions to humanity.

JEWISH ROOTS

I would argue that all of the people I have mentioned, and most of the Jews who were born in the 1930's, 40's and 50's, came from homes deeply rooted in Jewish values even if they didn't live Jewish lives. Whether they were a generation or two removed from Jewish experiences of Shabbat, holidays and kashrut, the values that these rituals transmitted were still present. The question to be asked is, "how long can the disembodied values be transmitted within a family that is devoid of Jewish rituals?"

Judaism does not get enough credit for producing the Jews of the world who have made a difference. What about being Jewish makes it more likely that you will be successful in politics, science, finance or even literature?

What is also fascinating are the people with Jewish ancestry who have been raised as Christians or with no religion, whose families converted, and have achieved great success. Like Madeleine Albright, the first women United States Secretary of State, did not learn until late in life that her parents were Jewish and that three of her Czech grandparents had perished in the Holocaust. Add to that French president Nicolas Sarkozy, whose grandfather was Jewish, former supreme allied commander of NATO, Wesley Clark whose father was Jewish and presidential candidate John Kerry whose grandfather was Jewish.

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Why is there so much Jewish blood to be found in people who strive to make a difference in the world? I do not believe it is about the blood type, but rather the family-type. For many of these people, Jewish values were passed on as family values. But how far can the values be passed on? How are they passed on without rituals or actions that provide a vehicle for their transmission?

TAKE PRIDE IN JEWISH ACCOMPLISHMENTS

When people play the who is a Jew game, the sole criterion is usually fame. So we end up with people like Gene Simmons and Jerry Springer on the same list as Albert Einstein. We take pride in the large number of famous Jews. Adam Sandler, through his famous Hanukkah songs has made it hip to be Jewish. There are plenty of Jewish actors, producers, social commentators, talk show television and radio hosts, lawyers and doctors, but how many use their fame to make a difference? We get most excited about Jews in sports, because it is such a rarity. For example, less than 1 percent of all the people who ever played MLB were Jewish. On the other hand, more than 22 percent of all Nobel Prizes ever awarded went to Jews. Which means that any Jewish child growing up today is twenty times more likely to win a Nobel Prize than to make it to the major leagues. Josh Satin, if you are here, we're still banking on you. It is appropriate to be excited when someone Jewish is successful, but when they make a difference, that is when we can truly kvell.

JEWISH VALUES

What are the Jewish values of which I speak? What is it that motivates Jews, to go beyond success, to make a difference in the world? It is not just believing in education. It is more than a culture of achievement. It is the idea that being Jewish means to make a difference in the world. While I do not buy into the theory that there is such a thing as a Jewish gene for intelligence, even if that were the case, intelligence without a sense of purpose is a wasted gift. I do not believe it is an accident that three of the most influential people of the 20th century, Albert Einstein, Karl Marx and Sigmund Freud were all Jewish.

Throughout history Jews knew great success. Anytime they were allowed access to the non-Jewish world around them, they contributed in remarkable ways. Throughout most of history during the last two thousand years Jews had the choice to live within the Jewish community or to convert and live in the world at large. Very seldom could a Jew remain Jewish and still be able to achieve success in the non-Jewish world. That is what led significant number of Jews to convert, in order to make a difference in the world at large.

All that changed with the Jewish Emancipation of the 18th century and the breaking of the physical and psychological walls of the ghetto. Beginning in France in 1791, Jews were free to leave their segregated communities and ghettos and were generally free to become part of the non-Jewish world around them. It was at this moment that many Jews shed traditional Jewish life and asked the question, "What does it mean to be a Jew?" Namely, how would their Jewish identity now define them.

Some turned to Socialism and communism, others to Zionism and some even redefined Judaism through the birth of Reform Judaism in the early 1800's in Germany. This is the world in which Einstein, Marx and Freud achieved their great successes. A world in which Jewish values could be expressed outside the ghetto walls.

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We now live in a world in which many Jews believe that Jewish values mean personal success rather than working towards a larger community good. When the need of the individual is more important than the community, you know the Jewish value has been lost.

This past Shabbat, Rabbi Oren led a discussion during services that focused on the death of Moses as described in these final verses of the Torah. The questions that were posed were, "what sin did Moses commit that did not permit him to enter the Land of Israel?" and "was the punishment fair?" When I spoke to the b'nai mitzvah that morning, I emphasized the fact that the needs of the community were more important than those of Moses. Had he brought them into the Land of Israel he might have achieved a deified status. Many of the rabbinic commentators agree that for the future success of the Israelites in the land and to make sure that God is the focus rather than Moses, he must not enter the land. He is the oldest Israelite of his generation. He has been through many trials and tribulations to get them through the forty years of wandering. Yet as much as our heart yearns for Moses to have the reward of entering the land, it cannot be. Even for Moses, the greatest Jew of all time, his needs are secondary to the needs of the community at large.

GEMILUT HASADIM

In order to reinforce the importance of Jewish values, we have decided to spend the next five years focusing on our Five Pillars of Synagogue Values: Torah, Avodah, Gemilut Chasadim, Israel and Kehilla Kedosha- The Search for God, Study, Acts of Loving Kindness, Israel and Sacred Commnity. Each year we will concentrate on one value. This year it is Gemilut Chasadim- acts of loving kindness.

Acts of loving kindness, or Gemilut Chasadim, are actions that go above and beyond what is required by law or society. It means reaching out to someone at an important moment. Whether it is bikkur holim- visiting the sick, sending a condolence meal to a house of shiva or taking someone who is housebound to a doctors appointment. Gemilut Hasadim is never a self-serving act, but rather it is a selfless act.

I am reminded of one explanation for the placing of earth in the gravesite at a funeral. According to this interpretation, it is to be considered a final selfless act of love towards the departed. We often perform good deeds for people with the idea that perhaps the favor will one day be returned. But with someone who has passed away, the act of placing earth, that is to take care of them, is an unrequited act. We do for them, knowing that they can never return the favor.

Gemilut Hasadim is about changing the world one small act at a time. It is like the bumper sticker that reads "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty."

Under the direction of our Community of Caring Director Jeff Bernhardt and our Vice Presidents of Community Outreach, we have made significant headway as a congregation in the performance of gemilut hasadim. Whether it is Jewish World Watch, interfaith relations, thinking of you baskets or reaching out to congregants in moments of need we are making progress.

But as one of our Five Pillars, I want G'milut Hasadim to be full out passion for our synagogue, not just a hobby. Many of you perform acts of kindness in your own lives and I would like you to increase them, and even join our synagogue efforts of Ge'milut Hasadim.

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This is one of those values that has been passed on from one generation to another through Jewish rituals and Jewish family experiences.

ROLE OF JEWISH RITUALS

How important are Jewish rituals to Jewish values? We know from every sociological study, that whenever Jews as a minority assimilate into the larger culture that their values resemble those of the people around them. I imagine that most of you are not more than one or two generations removed from homes that lived very Jewish lives. Whether it was through religious rituals or living in a Jewish community their values were reinforced through their Jewish experiences. And the question now becomes, how many generations can benefit from the trickle down effect? Not more than two or three.

Therefore, in addition to living out Jewish values, it is important to pass them on to the next generation through Jewish rituals. Even without understanding the why's of Shabbat, holidays, kashrut and other Jewish rituals, these observances are the conduits of our Jewish values.

A number of years ago I walked into a hospital room to visit an elderly man who clearly had a limited amount of time left. As I sat down by his bedside and began to speak with him he started to cry. Pretty soon he couldn't control his crying anymore and I asked him what was troubling him so. He responded, "I didn't pass on my Judaism to my children or grandchildren." This was not the first time I had been in this situation. At the end of life many people are attempting to put their life into perspective and seek peace. A number of times people had shared similar stories, but wanted me to tell them it wasn't as bad as they thought. Although they clearly had neglected their Jewish connections, I was there to make them feel better and take away some of their guilt. But this one was different. He knew the degree to which his neglect had impacted his children and grandchildren. He didn't want me to diminish his personal failure. He simply wanted to confess. He knew that his obituary would make no mention of his Jewish identity.

What would your obituary say about your being Jewish? Would it mention the impact that your Jewish values had on your life? Would your accomplishments be a reflection of your Jewish connection? More than just being born to Jewish parents or converting, would we know from reading your obituary that your Jewish identity meant something to you? Did you speak out on Jewish issues, on behalf of Israel or other social issues? Jewish identity should reflect Jewish values and not only make a difference in our lives and the people around us, but ideally to make an impact in the world at large.

CONCLUSION

On Yom Kippur we consider our mortality. We deny ourselves bodily pleasures including food and water in order to simulate an existence that is hovering between life and death. As our life hangs in the balance we reflect on what we are and what we want to become.

There is a story of Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel who was pacifist at heart and an inventor by nature. Among his 350 patents was his invention of dynamite. However, the invention that he thought would end all wars was seen by many others as an extremely deadly product. In 1888, when Alfred's brother Ludvig died, a French newspaper mistakenly ran an obituary for Alfred which called him the "merchant of death." Nobel, who was as interested in drama and poetry as he was in chemistry and physics, did not want to be remembered in that way, so he pledged his wealth toward the betterment of

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humanity. In his will he directed the establishment of a foundation to award annual prizes for achievement in chemistry, physics, literature and efforts toward international peace.

Alfred Nobel had the unusual experience of seeing his obituary before the end of his life. He had the opportunity to change how history would look at him. On this Day of Atonement we have the opportunity to change what our obituaries will look like. What do you want your Jewish obituary to look like? How will you be remembered?