Song of Solomon 2:14;4:1,2,9;6:5,8,9 

“O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret places of the cliff, Let me see your face, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your face is lovely.”  Your eyes overpower me, Your hair falls in waves, Your smile is flawless, Your lips are like scarlet ribbon; You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Even among queens and concubines and countless young women, I would still choose my dove, my perfect one — You have captured my heart,

my treasure, my bride.

Proverbs 21:19 (NLT)

It’s better to live alone in the desert 

than with a quarrelsome,

complaining wife.

Rising Above the Thorns

“Struggles in the Marriage”

www.onealchurchofchrist.org

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

• Words of Affirmation• Actions don’t always speak louder than words.– Unsolicited compliments – Hearing the words, “I love you,”– Hearing the reasons behind that love – Avoid – Insults, Complaining, Criticizing,

Silence.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• Quality Time• Nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided

attention. – Being there is critical– But really being there—with the TV off and all

other tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.

– Avoid – Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• Receiving Gifts• Don’t mistake this for materialism– It shows thoughtfulness– It shows effort– It shows that they are known and prized above

whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to them.– Avoid – missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty,

thoughtless gift, absence of everyday gestures.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• Acts of Service• Can vacuuming the floors really be an

expression of love? Absolutely! – Anything you do to ease the burden of

responsibilities– “Let me do that for you.”– “Let me help with that.”– Avoid – Laziness, broken commitments, and

making more work for them.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• Physical Touch• Physical presence and accessibility are crucial – Hugs– Holding hands– Thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face

—they can all be ways to show concern, care, and love.

– Avoid – Physical neglect or abuse can destroy a marriage.

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, love is not proud;

• Love does not boast – It is about “WE”, not about “ME”.

Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, keeps no record of wrongs;

• Marriage is different than dating– During your single years your actions probably

only affected you. Now, you have two (or more, if you have children) lives affected by your every action. (boat, Jeep lift, jewelry, shopping, ect.)

'Til Death Do Us Part?

I pledge you my love and faithfulness.

for better for worse, for richer for poorer,

in sickness and in health, through plenty and want,

through joy and sorrow, now and forever.

Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, keeps no record of wrongs;

• Things won’t always go “your way” in the marriage

• External circumstances – – Unexpected disappointments (sickness of spouse or

relative, loss of job, taxes) – Unmet expectations (going to bed at separate times,

live in a certain place, dinner not on the table when I get home)

• Internal circumstances – – Disrespect, selfish (one-sided), unappreciative,

inconsiderate, bitterness & resentment

Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, keeps no record of wrongs;

• One spouse resents the other because of his/her actions - 1 Samuel 25:3, 25– Abigail and Nabal

(vs. 3 – Nabal was harsh and evil in his doings.)1 Samuel 25:25 (Abigail speaking to David) Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man (scoundrel – NKJV) Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool , and folly goes with him.

Love does not delight in sin, but rejoices in the truth;

• Love addresses sin – John 4

John 4 – Jesus at Jacob’s well7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink 9 Then the woman said, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” 10 Jesus answered “If you knew who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 13 Jesus answered, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst, for it will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

15 The woman said, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst.”

16 Jesus said, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”

17 The woman answered, “I have no husband.”

Jesus said , “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”

Love does not delight in sin, but rejoices in the truth;

• Love addresses sin – John 4

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

• You can’t know what your spouse believes, hopes or endures if you don’t ask!

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

• Share victories and failures with each other, share your temptations, Pray together. Apologize & Forgive. Be a help meet.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

• Communicate- – Listen to what he/she says– Notice what is not said; tune in to actions

• Avoid – Vague communication - “Little late”, “helping me do some things around the house”

• Training new habits takes time and patience, but WORK TOGETHER and you’ll get there.

Love never fails.

• Never Quit!

If the grass is looking greener elsewhere…

Then do some work on your yard!

Love never fails.

Ephesians 5:25,28,29,33

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.