8/13/2019 Some Waterlogged River Analogies

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Some Waterlogged River Analogies

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

Rivers, with their currents and directions, significantly predict our destinies.

Getting sold down the river means you were cheated. Being sent up the river

suggests you went to prison. The former probably originated from sour land

deals (a river didnt run through it after all?) while the latter surely refers to

the udson River and a trip from !"# to $ing $ing, or %ssining where an

infamous prison is located. &eople in that boat find themselves in hot water,

even though they are on a cold river. 'aybe they are up a cree without a

paddle, but one cannot be uite sure why that is always so bad because being

swept downstream may uite en*oyable. +t is popularly nown as going with theflow. This is fine unless you are headed for a fall. +ts best to stay

philosophical about flow because, after all, pretty soon it will all be water under

the bridge.

There is another condition where you don-t go much of anywhere at all.

ncountered on laes or oceans more often than on a river, you are becalmed.

/ust remember, it is definitely less desirable to be stuc in the doldrums.

Then you are really going nowhere soon. 0rifting has a bunch of connotations,

but + usually thin of it as aimlessly wandering. $till, drifting down a riverdecidedly is positive if you thin lie uc 1inn2 then it becomes an adventure.

+n fact, tripping downstream or upstream can be either romantic,

mysterious, or both. %therwise, why would composers write songs lie 3#ruising

down the River4 (on a $unday afternoon, with birds maing love up above?) or

35p a 6a7y River4? 8hy do song writers give rivers names lie 'oon, $ewanee,

and 0eep? Because its great shorthand for communicating love, longing, or

religious beliefs. !ot always is the romance such a beautiful thing because

some people wail, 3#ry 'e a River3. 9ss for 3%ld 'an River4, well hes *ust la7y

and eeps on rolling along2 lie hes 3Rollin on the River4. + lie this reference

because it con*ures up Tina Turner gyrating to the lyrics.

8/13/2019 Some Waterlogged River Analogies

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8hat happens on the typical cattle drive or mass migrations of wildebeests?

9 river crossing, of course< 9t that *uncture we get into big trouble. /ust lie

us, the animals get caught in cross currents, or they wade into deep water that

is over their heads. &resumably they are not getting into the same ind of hot

water as felons. But far be it from me to throw cold water on the idea because

we all have rivers to cross under many different circumstances. 8hen we reach

the point of no return, then lie /ulius #aesar in => 9.0., have 3crossed the

Rubicon4.

+f you dont have a bridge over troubled water, then a river crossing

becomes obligatory. opefully, you wont cross the (county) line. $ince + am

getting fairly close to that point, here is where + stop, tread water, and drop

anchor. There is little time for a river dance, but it might happen shortly

because + cant hold my water any longer.