snoring can be a valid reason for divorce (final report)

Snoring, a valid reason for divorce 1

Snoring Can Be a Valid Reason for Divorce

Rashadat Anowar Chowdhury 0930101020

ENG 105, Section 11Faculty Member – Ms. Shahida Akter

April 21, 2012


Acknowledgment

I did this research on “the validity of snoring as a reason for divorce”. It was really a nice experience for me to do the research. While I was passing through all the steps that is collecting, sorting, analyzing, organizing and trying to make valid and reliable inferences. I am grateful to them who helped me a lot to make it happen.

I would like to thank my faculty, Ms. Shaheda Akter for her kind and loyal support. I am also grateful to Mr. Mehraj Ahmed Udoy, Mr. Asim Uddin Sifat, Mr. Akif Uddin Safi and Mr. Ahmed Imraan for their co-operation. I am thanking my friends, survey respondents and the people who helped me a lot in data collection.

I want to talk about my limitations that I had to accept during the completion of this research. The major limitations where I could not take thoughts of many people for the time inconvenience. So, there might be some possibility of error in the data that I have collected. However, I believe that I have tried my level best to make this research more reliable and expectable.


Abstract

Different people faces different problem in their daily marriage life. Some shares their problems with their friend and some do not. We often observe or hear about people getting divorce for many reasons. Snoring is considered among the top the three reasons of divorce across the globe. Divorce has a different reputation within Bangladeshi. By religious and cultural mean they believe that no matter what happen people should not get divorce. But world is changing as well as their thought. Bangladeshi has become more aware of their right and day by day people are becoming more westernized. In my research, I tried to prove that though Bangladeshi’s have becoming westernized day by day but their perspective on divorce is not changing and by narrowing this topic into one specific popular reason for divorce in western countries, which is snoring will help me to understand their thought and approach towards it more precisely.


Introduction

One evening Mr. Imran Khan was preparing a project report on “The Economic Prospect of Hybrid-Car in Bangladesh” in his study room. He was supposed to complete it by night and submit it to his supervisor on next day. Afterward, there will be a presentation as well on the report and Mr. Imran will present it himself. That was a once for a lifetime opportunity for him because countries prominent bureaucrats, politicians and professionals will be attending the presentation, which was a perfect platform to prove himself. After hours of rigorous hard-work, he had finally completed his task and went to his bed room to have a proper sleep. Exhausted Mr. Imran lay down on his bed and closed his eyes but his spouse’s snoring made him awake, but he was used to with it as it was a his wife’s regular habit. He put on his trustworthy earplugs to avoid further disruption on his sleep by his wife’s snoring but it was not working. He tried cottons to cover his earholes nonetheless it was not worth of trying either. After trying all the alternatives he could, he finally awakens his wife out of sleep, asking to stop snoring as he had an important presentation next morning. His wife became furious and start arguing that she did not snored. In the middle of night, the couple was arguing on a rather trivial topic like snoring because it made one person to stay awake and another’s ego was hurt by the allegation of being a snorer. After a long period of argument, Mr. Imran went to sleep on drawing room’s couch and his wife slept on bedroom. Mr. Imran did not have a proper sleep and next morning he looked exhausted and dreadful as well as he was having headache and dizziness. Though, the report got admiration it deserved but Mr. Imran could not perform up to his proficiencies, when he was questioned by audience. After the presentation, his supervisor was furious about the fumbles he had made during the question round and remarked him as incompetent for project of such caliber. Mr. Imran realized that he had missed a golden opportunity for which he was working his lifetime but an argument caused by a minor topic has cost him a lot. And, now he asked himself “what should I do? I had worked real hard for this project but because of my wife’s snoring habit I was unable to perform. I cannot share this problem with my boss neither. I know what I am capable of but I think I should get a divorce from her as she does not understand my problem and I believe in future, she will be the only obstacle between me and success. I should talk to my lawyer immediately.”


The short story about Mr. Imran Khan might look absurd to us but it is happening on daily basis among us. May be we are not aware of such incident happening around us since it is a very sensitive issue in our society but people do really face such dilemma in their life. Snoring can really harm a person’s life directly and indirectly. People in this region might find it trivial issue for failing to establish a better marriage life but in actual life people find it difficult to sleep with a snorer and fail to concentrate on their regular work. Beside people do face many health issues as well as mental issues due to snoring which could cause severe problem in long term. But people are not serious about snoring habit as they think that it is natural and they less to do something for it.

But in western part of the world, people are more open and concerned about living a better life as well as alleviating problems which could prevent them to have that. They are less emotionally attached with their partner and more self-centered than Bangladeshi’s. They will not hesitate to leave their spouse if their spouse’s bad habit causes problem for them. As a result, the divorce rate is much higher than Bangladesh in western part of the word.

From my research work, I came to conclusions that people are aware of the effects of snoring habit on a marriage but they consider it as a minor reason to cause a divorce. In addition, this research also emphasis on the outlook difference between western culture and Bangladeshi culture regarding divorce and snoring. I found out that Bangladeshi people are more willing to get used to a bad habit of their partner rather than getting separate from them as dedication and affection towards their partner are comparably higher than western people.


Background

Surveys conducted all over the world states that the ratio of marriage to divorce is one divorce for every two marriages. In western part of the world, divorce is very popular among couples and lawyers compared to eastern part. According to divorce lawyers, couples often complain about their partner’s behavior and characteristic they do not like and file for divorce application based on those reasons. It is normal to observe divorces caused by violent act or behavior between couples. But now a day’s, couples ask for divorce based on different reasons. Though law experts and human rights activists debate on many reason of divorce, which several expert tags as a “trivial” reasons and some tag as serious as any other cause. Although it is not possible to judge or justify valid reason of divorce but if something bothers a person’s normal life no matter how small or big it is essential step should be taken.

The prime focus of my research work will discuss about snoring and its impact on a marriage. Group of people argues that it is possible to determine the impact of cheating, alcohol addiction, and lack of communication on the future of a marriage because those reasons can disturb a person mentally and physically but how come snoring affects a person’s life. In contrary, some divorce expert’s comment on snoring actually implicates that it might be the most affective reason behind a divorce because a sound sleep is essential for a person to live a balance life. Lack of sleep and rest can drag a person into severe mental problems as well as physical problems. By applying logical and concrete information I will try to picture the impacts of snoring on a marriage.

HypothesisTo a non-snorer, Snoring is very annoying and it is capable enough to jeopardize a marriage as well. I assume that there are several causes of snoring such as individual’s weight gaining, smoking habit, allergies, structural damage (internal or external physical problem) and alcoholism. I am expecting to find out that due to spouse’s snoring habit individuals’ faces different problems which evade them to do their daily work. I assume to find that snoring can cause serious arguments between wife and husband as well as it can harm their marriage life and such arguments may cause them to sleep separately, avoid conversation or start living separately. I believe to find out that there are various solutions to stop a person’s snoring and help them to have a better marriage life as well as it is everyone’s right to have a better life. I will try to find out that if a person is unable to stay happy with his/her marriage life, he/she may


seek divorce to have a better life, regardless the reason behind asking for it.


Research Questions

I have made a questionnaire conducting this survey. It consist 12 questions which will have me to understand the impact of snoring on people and their marriage and will help to come to a conclusion regarding this issue. Sample questions are given below:-

i. Does your spouse often snore? ii. Do you find it difficult to have a sound sleep while your spouse is

snoring?iii. Does your spouse’s snoring have ever caused you to spend a

sleepless night?iv. Have you ever complained your spouse about his/her snoring habit?v. Does your spouse admit his/her snoring habit? vi. Does your spouse care about the problems you are facing due to

his/her snoring?vii. Is your spouse concerned about his/her snoring habit?viii. Have you ever helped your spouse to prevent snoring?ix. Have you ever fought with your spouse because of his/her snoring

habit?x. Does your spouse’s snoring habit have caused you to sleep

separately?xi. Have you ever felt that snoring is causing a problem for your

marriage? xii. Do you think snoring can fail a marriage?

Research MethodologyIn order to gather data for my primary research, I will perform a survey of a representative sampling of married individual in Bangladesh. As well as I will interview multiple married couple, who will share the problems they faced by their partner’s sleeping habit. In addition, I will also design a questionnaire with a set of questions in order to gather useful data which will help me to answer my research question.

In addition, for my secondary research, I have planned to use online resources and journal from various library and public archives as well as books by experts on my research topic.


Data Analysis

Bedmates of snorers generally lose an average of one hour of sleep per night and wake up an average of 21 times per hour.(Stritof)

Many people believe that snoring is a minor reason for building a dispute in a marriage. But day by day this minor topic is becoming an important issue regarding marriages and divorces all over the world. It might sound harsh to people who snores at night but to non-snorer, snoring is the most unpleasant sound they would ever heard. Snoring is the vibration of respiratory structures and the resulting sound, due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping. (Wikipedia) In western part of the world, divorce has been observed on daily basis. People do get divorce very frequently. It is said to be among top three (3) reason of divorce.(Taylor, 2010).

It is thought that more than forty million Americans snore every night and that 60% of men snore, and 30% of women. With all that snoring at night, couples are having a hard time sleeping together. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 53 percent of adults say they have relationship problems because of their or their partner’s sleep disorder. The housing industry even seems ready to capitalize on this trend, with one survey predicting that by the year 2015, more than 60 percent of custom homes will have dual master bedrooms to be occupied primarily by snoring spouses. (Volpi, 2010)

Many individuals reported that sleeping with snorer is a difficult task. Though snorer, the person who snore don’t face any problem with his/her the sound he/she makes while snoring but his/her partner does face severe problem. In a 2005 study from Finland of 37 male snorers and their bed partners, half of the bed partners reported being disturbed by snoring every night or almost every night. One third of the bed partners reported relationship problems as a result of the snoring. (Parker-Pope, 2009) .

There are number of reasons behind a person’s snoring habit. Some of the reasons are given below (Anonymous, Snoring is Ruining My Marriage!,2009):-

WEIGHT: When men gain weight, they actually deposit fat in their throats. And when people lose weight, even a small amount, the decibel level (in the throat) decreases. If you (or your partner) can lose between 5 and 8 lbs., you can expect to see a significant reduction in snoring.

SMOKING: It inflames the nasal tissue similar to congestion.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16236871?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=5&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfrom=pubmed

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16236871?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=5&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfrom=pubmed

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breath


STRUCTURAL DAMAGE: People with structural damage have what's known as a deviated septum -- it narrows the airway, making air go faster. The faster the air moves, the more it will vibrate tissue in the back of your throat -- that vibration causes a cadence, which causes a snore.

ALCOHOL: Alcohol can make snoring worse -- because it is a muscle relaxant, and as the muscles relax, the passage gets narrower. However, there's really no data that says heavy or spicy foods makes snoring worse.

Since it is caused by many physical problem and daily life habit there are several solutions to stop or reduce a person’s snoring habit. Snoring can cause many problems for an individual in long run as well. Habitual snorers can be at risk for serious health problems including (Webmd):

Long interruptions of breathing (more than 10 seconds) during sleep caused by partial or total obstruction or blockage of the airway.

Frequent waking from sleep, even though you may not realize it. Light sleeping. People with obstructive sleep apnea sleep lightly to

try to keep their throat muscles tense enough to maintain airflow. Strain on the heart. Prolonged suffering from obstructive sleep

apnea often results in higher blood pressure and may cause enlargement of the heart, with higher risks of heart attack and stroke.

Poor night's sleep. This leads to drowsiness during the day and can interfere with your quality of life.

Dr. Craig Schwimmer said “Snoring impairs the health of your bed partner by causing sleep loss. On average, sleeping with a snorer costs your partner an hour of sleep per night. This sleep deprivation causes emotional, physical and psychological damage. In addition, recent evidence suggests that snoring, even in the absence of sleep apnea, increases your risk of early death!” (Breus & Schwimmer)

Therefore snoring cannot be taken lightly and there are surgical solutions as well to reduce this problem. Many couples from India have taken such step in order to save their marriage. (Anonymous, Stopped Snoring, SavedOur Marriage)

Besides surgical solution there are other solutions to minimize this problem. Among non-surgical solution understanding partner’s snoring problem is very much essential for an individual. For couples facing bed time problem because of snoring should keep these following factors to keep in mind (Winch, 2011):


1. The non-snoring partner (the partner most impacted by the snoring) should raise the issue as a serious problem to be resolved

2. The non-snoring partner should express clear appreciation for their partner's efforts to resolve the problem (once they make such efforts) even if they've been asking their partner to do so for a while.

3. Couples who with no young children in the home can look into powerful beeswax earplugs.

4. Consider white noise machines. They can often even out the snores of light-snorers

http://earplugsonline.com/

Snoring, a reason for divorce 13

Primary Survey

YesNo

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

Male

Female

73%

27%

53%

47%

MaleFemale

Response

Pe

rce

nta

ge o

f p

eo

ple

The graph above exhibits the regularity of snoring by individual’s spouse. The data clearly shows, 63% individuals agree that their spouse snores often. 73 % male believe their spouse snores often and 53% female thinks that their partner snores frequently. So, majority believes that their spouse do snore often.

63%

37%

Does your spouse often snore?

YesNo


53%47%

Do you find it difficult to have a sound sleep while your spouse is snoring ?

YesNo

Yes No0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

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80%

67%

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37%

63%

Does your spouse's snoring have ever caused you to spend a sleepless night ?

YesNo

The graph above displays individual’s experience on whether they have spent a sleepless night due to their partner’s snoring habit or not. The figures shows, 63% individuals never experienced a sleepless night

YesNo

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caused by their partner’s snoring. But among the rest 37% individuals who have such experience consists more female than male individuals. So, it seems that more female have spent a sleepless night than male.


50%50%

Have you ever complained your spouse about his/her snoring habit ?

YesNo

The diagram above shows if an individual ever complained his/her spouse for snoring. According to the diagram, positive and negative response is even. But 60 % male complained their spouse about their snoring though

YesNo

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60% female never felt to complain about their spouse’s snoring. Therefore, females seem more relax with their partner’s snoring than males.


63%

37%

Does your spouse admit his/her snoring habit?

YesNo

YesNo

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

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70%

Male

Female

67%

33%

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MaleFemale

Response

Nu

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The graph above exhibits interviewer’s partner’s self-confession as a snorer. According to male 67 % and 60% female said that their partner do admit that they snore. In addition, the exhibit also proves that the rate of female self-confession as snorer is higher than male.


37%

63%

Does your spouse care about the problems you are facing due to his/her snoring?

YesNo

Yes No0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

33%

67%

40%

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MaleFemale

Response

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The graph above shows a snorer cares about the problem faced by their spouse. The figures shows, 63% individuals said that their partner do not care about the problem individuals face due to their partner’s snoring. In this case, the difference between opinion among male and female is small.


37%

63%

Is your spouse concerned about his/her snoring habit?

YesNo

Yes No0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

70%

80%

27%

73%

40%

60%

MaleFemale

Response

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The diagram above exhibits individual’s opinion on whether their spouse is concerned about his/her snoring habit or not. According to recorded data, 63% individuals said that their partner is not concern about his/her snoring habit. In this case, the difference between opinion among male and female is almost even.


53%47%

Have you ever helped your spouse to prevent snoring?

YesNo

YesNo

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Female

47% 53%

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The diagram above shows that if an individual ever helped his/her spouse for preventing or curing snoring. According to the diagram, 60% female has helped her partner to cure snoring but male do not seem to be helpful in this case. About 53% individuals admit that they have helped their partner to prevent snoring and majority is female.


47%53%

Have you ever fought with your spouse because of his/her snoring habit?

YesNo

Yes No42%

44%

46%

48%

50%

52%

54%

47%

53%

47%

53%

MaleFemale

Response

Nu

mb

er

of

Pe

op

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The diagram above shows that if an individual ever fought with his/her spouse because of snoring. According to the diagram, the response of both genders is even as 53% individuals said they never have a fight caused by snoring thought rest 47% said the opposite.


47%53%

Does your spouse’s snoring habit have caused you to sleep separately?

YesNo

Yes No0%

10%

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53%

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MaleFemale

Response

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The diagram above exhibits the number of individuals who have to sleep separately caused by their partner’s snoring habit. In this case, 53% never have such experience and among them 60% was female. Though, males have more tendencies to sleep separately than female because of a snorer partner.


Have you ever felt that snoring is causing a problem for your marriage?

YesNo

YesNo

0%

5%

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15%

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The diagram above shows that if an individual ever felt that his/her spouse’s snoring habit is posing a problem for their marriage. According to the diagram, everyone never felt that snoring habit can cause a problem for their marriage.


Do you think snoring can fail a marriage?

YesNo

YesNo

0%5%

10%15%20%25%30%35%40%45%50%

Male

Female0%

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MaleFemale

Response

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The diagram above shows that if an individual ever felt that snoring can fail a marriage and forces a couple to get a divorce. According to the diagram, everyone never felt that snoring can be considered as a serious issue to cause a divorce.


Conclusion


Resource

Anonymous. (2009, January 15). Snoring is Ruining My Marriage! Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://www.momlogic.com/2009/01/snoring_is_ruining_my_marriage.php

Anonymous. (n.d.). Stopped Snoring, Saved Our Marriage. Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://www.drpaulose.com/snoring/sleep-apnoea/stopped-snoring-saved-our-marriage

Breus, M., & Schwimmer, C. (n.d.). How can snoring be dangerous to my health? Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://www.sharecare.com/question/can-snoring-be-dangerous-to-health

Parker-Pope, T. (2009, June 11). Sleeping With a Snorer. Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/11/sleeping-with-a-snorer/

Stritof, B. S. (n.d.). Does Your Spouse Snore? Retrieved February 20, 2012, from http://marriage.about.com/od/snoring/qt/snoringspouse.htm

Taylor, J. R. (2010, August 05). Snoring is The Number Three Cause of Divorce. Retrieved February 21, 2012, from http://www.sooperarticles.com/relationship-articles/breakups-separation-articles/snoring-number-three-cause-divorce-122011.html

Volpi, D. O. (2010, August 5). The Stress of Snoring on Marriage. Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://www.nycsnoringsleepapneacenter.com: http://nycsnoringsleepapneacenter.com/blog/?p=25

Webmd. (n.d.). Sleep and Snoring. Retrieved February 24, 2012, from http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/snoring

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Snoring. Retrieved February 24, 2012, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snoring

Winch, G. (2011, September 14). Is Snoring Harming Your Marriage? Retrieved February 19, 2012, from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201109/is-snoring-harming-your-marriage


APPENDIX

snoring can be a valid reason for divorce (final report)

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