single!Young Christian Woman

MY DISPOSALBE WORLD

He Said/She SaidCouples Devotionals

Spring FormalsAre in the Air

Graduation adviCe overLoad?

A P U B L I C AT I O N O F O N M Y O W N N O W M I N I S T R I E S May/June'13

w w w. o n m y o w n n o w. c o m

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Center ringMy Disposable Worldby Courtney newbery

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Moving out...Settling inEver Feel Like Jonah?by Will dole, Guest Columnist

Fashion divinaSpring Formals are in the Air by tamara Jane

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in this issue...

dear GabbyIs he Interested or Not?Guest Columnist denise Flynn

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the recap He Said/She Said: Whatever Is...review by Chandler Hunter & Gwendolyn anderson

Single! Young Christian WomanMay/June 2013, Vol. 5

On My Own Now Ministries, Inc., Publisher

Donna Lee Schillinger, Editor

Kimberly M. SchlutermanEditorial Support

ContributorsGwendolyn Anderson, Will Dole, Chandler Hunter, Tamara Jane, Denise Flynn, Courtney Newbery

Except where noted, content is copy-right 2013 On My Own Now Ministries. Articles may be reprinted with credit to author, Single! and www.OnMyOwn-Now.com.

On My Own Now Ministries, Inc. is a nonprofit organization with a 501 (c) (3) determination. Your donations aid in our mission to encourage faith, wise life choices and Christ-likeness in young adults during their transition to living on their own.

We welcome submissions of original or repurposed articles that are contributed without expectation of compensation. May God repay you.

Visit us at www.OnMyOwnNow.com.

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Straight talk from the ProverbsRoad out Ahead: Quick! What do you do?Cover:Graduation Advice Overload?by donna Lee Schillinger

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Life is good for people who do the right thing.Life is good for people who play by God’s rulesand are totally consumed with knowing God.

They don’t break the rules; they follow the rules.You, God, have laid down the law

and you expect us to live by it.Man, I wish I were more consistent in doing

things your way. Then I wouldn’t feel like such a banana slug when I think about your laws.

Anyway, I’m just psyched to be your kid and be learning the family business.

I will get this right! Please don’t give up on me!

Read the Gospel of John (how I would say it)

Psalm 119:1-8, Aleph(how I would say it)

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moving out

by Will dole, Guest Columnist

When God said to Peter, “You are well aware that it is against our law for

a Jew to associate with or visit a Gentile. But God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean” (Acts 10:28), He revealed that those persons the Jews had considered unclean or off limits were now no longer to be considered as such. The death of Christ opened a way for Jews to associate with Gentiles. God made this clear to Peter.

Soon after, Peter went with the messengers of a Roman centurion, considered to be

the worst of all Gentiles, and preached to the friends and family of a man named Cornelius. To the surprise of many, the Holy Spirit descended upon this group and they were saved.

From our vantage point, it seems like this would have been reason to celebrate, but instead it caused a big hubbub with the Jewish Christians who thought everyone had to become a Jew before following Jesus. Eventually, God ironed everything out and the church accepted the Gentile believers. We know this because the vast majority of

Ever Feel Like Jonah?

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settling In

Christians reading this article right now are not Jewish.

This amazing event witnessed by Peter raises a question. Who are we supposed to reach with the gospel? It’s clear from the great commission that we need to have a mindset of seeking after those who don’t know Christ. Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:18-20). Jesus has been Lord over all heaven and earth for the last 2,000 years or so, and He is still is, so we still ought to go and make disciples of all nations. Going to all nations means that we go to all cultural groups, languages, tribes and peoples (see Revelation 5:8-10). Yet, it has been my experience that Christians tend to target two groups of people: those who are very much like us and those we consider attractive. We want our evangelism efforts to either bring in people that we are already comfortable around or who will add to our coolness. Rarely, do we seek out the drunk on the corner, the homeless guy on the street or the person with a background which makes us nervous, such as ex-cons. Could it be that we hesitate to witness to these types of people because if we told them about the miracle of salvation that Jesus offers, they might actually believe it? That might mean that they start coming to our church, or worse, we may actually have to spend some time with them. Are we any better than the Jews who were afraid of Gentiles

getting saved. At times, we might even be as bad as Jonah. Remember his story?

God told Jonah to travel to Nineveh and preach, but he ran away. After an ordeal with a giant fish, God turned him around and headed him back toward Nineveh. When he finally arrived, Jonah delivered a “short and sweet” sermon: “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown” (Jonah 3:4). No mercy, no grace, no forgiveness…

Nonetheless, the city repented and more than 120,000 people were saved. How did Jonah respond? He went up on a hill and pouted like a five-year old. He didn’t like the Ninevites, so it upset him that God would stoop so

low as to save them.I see a lot of myself in that story. I

worship my comfort and my preferences. I only like to hang out with certain people, so if you’re not one of them, good luck! Why would I want to share the love of Christ with you? Does that sound sick? That’s because it is. What selfish creatures we can be!

Jesus has made every kind of person and personality type acceptable to God. He’s also made all of our baggage irrelevant. He offers everyone a spiritual, eternal cleanness. This offer goes out to the queen of England and to the heroin addict living in the slums. The gospel of Jesus is for everyone. So, let’s get busy and share it with everyone.

Can it be difficult to do sometimes? Sure, but we should remember Jesus offers this good news to us, although He shouldn’t even want to associate with us due to our sin. We can love others with the gospel, no matter who they are, as we depend on His Spirit to overcome our fears and pride.

We want our evangelism efforts to either bring in people that we are already comfortable around or who will add to our coolness.

NNRoad Out Ahead Quick! What do you do?

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

Proverbs 27:12

Listen, my daughters, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain

understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, “Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.” Listen my daughter, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many, … Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. … My daughter, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep

them within your heart. Proverbs 4:1-6, 10, 13, 20-21

Is that not the mother of all lectures? Listen! Pay attention! Keep my commands! Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget my words! And on and on! I can sympathize with Solomon as a boy – the lectures he must have sat through! In one Bible translation, the scripture says his father sat down and drilled him on these matters. As tedious as lectures can be, we know Solomon was actually a very lucky boy to have a father who cared so much about him that he would take time to instruct him.

When we are very young, lectures don’t do us any good. We learn through hands-on, personal experience. As we grow and mature,

By donna Lee Schillinger

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straight talk

By donna Lee Schillinger

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from the proverbs

we become able to learn in another way – through the experience of others – via lecture in school and advice from family and friends.

Learning through one’s own experience is powerful and certainly preferred when it comes to learning about geography, cultures, languages and the arts. However, there is a whole other body of information that is far preferable to learn from other people’s experience. Take mathematics, for example. Aren’t we glad that someone else figured out for us that the circumference of a circle is equal to the diameter multiplied by π? When it comes to math, we want to take advantage of all that has already been discovered by someone else’s experience and learn through lecture, without all the hassle and brainwork they had to endure. Then, with that foundation, we may move on to discover even greater things about math and how it relates to our lives and the physical universe.

“Life” is another subject in which we can greatly benefit from other people’s experience. Yet many young women today reject the idea of taking advice from someone else about important decisions in life. They want to figure things out for themselves. This is about as sensible as setting out to discover again from scratch the circumference of a circle.

Imagine we’re driving down the road and a red sports car passes us and speeds on ahead out of sight. Five minutes later, the car comes back toward us. The driver slows down and waves at us to stop. He hollers from his window, “The road is blocked up ahead. You won’t be able to get through that way.”

Do we reply: “Hey! This is my life and I’m going to live it the way I want to and if I make mistakes, well, it’s nothing you haven’t done too!” and then speed on ignoring the other driver’s advice? Surely, we wouldn’t do something so silly. But if we have ever invoked the “It’s my life, I’ll make my own mistakes” mantra in response to good advice from someone who cares about us, we’ve done something just that foolish.

That “my life” mantra, or rebel’s yell, usually follows advice we don’t want to hear. Our

parent, teacher, mentor or friend is telling us that we are about to do something we’ll regret. It’s obvious to everyone and we know it as well, but our course is set and we are determined the outcome of our actions will be different than what everyone predicts.

At these times, when our desires pit us against common sense and the wise counsel of friends and family, instead of insisting on driving down that road ourselves to find that the road is indeed blocked, try this: say, “I appreciate your concern. I’ll give that some thought.” That’s so easy! We’ve just averted a conflict and prolonged lecture, we haven’t committed ourselves to any change in course and we’re in a great position: we can do anything from here and we won’t have to eat our words. Instead of backing ourselves into a corner with a rebellious retort, we’ve created an open field and we can go anywhere we want without looking or feeling like we’re giving in. We are making our own choices!

Next, we should do what we said we would do: give it some thought. Our head and heart will be clear to consider the advice because we’re not in conflict with the person giving it. Will that advice save us a wasted trip down a blocked road? Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”

Hold this thought: i learn from the

mistakes of others, not repeat them.

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center ring

While eating my tuna fish sandwich off of a cardboard box, which had

been conveniently turned into a dinner table, I had a realization: “Everything I own is disposable.” From my paper plate dinnerware to my upcycled futon (which was missing a leg), I had made virtually no investment in my surroundings.

My surface-level rationalization for living in a state of poverty was that I was a poor college graduate, working her first job and trying to make ends meet. This was true, partially. I did just graduate, but my job more than covered my expenses. So what was it? I told myself that I was trying to live sacrificially, not wanting to be consumed by the glittering things of the world, offering my “extra” to those in need. But I wasn’t giving away mounds of money to the poor. I knew there was a deeper meaning that I didn’t want to confront. (Who knew furniture could tell you so much about yourself, right?) I wasn’t willing to acknowledge my issue, until a single friend, well into her fifties, confronted me on my “disposable world.”

“Why are you living off of paper plates and plastic silverware?” she said. “What is keeping you from buying a couch?”

Not knowing where the words came from, I replied,

“I want to pick it out with my husband.” Covering my mouth, I stood there wide-eyed.

I had just said what my soul had been feeling for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t making an investment in my life, because I was single. I was saying to myself, “You can’t live in beauty and comfort until you can share it with a husband.” That was a hard discovery to make,

especially since I wasn’t even dating anyone. Part of me felt that I didn’t deserve or shouldn’t desire these “luxuries” as a single woman.

Holding OutAs I began to explore other areas of my life,

I realized it was more than just my finances that were on an indefinite pause. I didn’t want to go on a cruise, because I thought it would be the ideal honeymoon destination. I was reluctant to fully engage in dating relationships, because I didn’t want to give any part of myself to someone who would not one day be my husband. I shied away from jobs that required too much commitment or a long-term contract, because I never knew when I would need to move for a man. Upon reflection, I realized that I was disconnected and unplugged, because my mind was preoccupied with waiting for the perfect guy. Instead of living each moment in the present, I was buying time until the “unpromised one” arrived.

“Waiting it”I missed out on so much in this season of life, because I wasn’t really living it. I was “waiting” it. Waiting for the time when all of my needs would be met by the love of my life. Waiting to share all the lovely moments with just the right person. Waiting to invest in my future. Waiting instead of living. I was a spectator through much of my singlehood, wishing it would hurry by, so I could move on to “the rest of my life.”

I recently did get married to an incredible guy, and I love being married (it is really fantastic), but a part of me misses my singleness. I am mourning the loss of what I left behind and never really appreciated when I had it. I regret

By Courtney newbery

My Disposable World

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feature article

that I did not stop for just a minute, as an unattached woman, and recognize the benefits of charting my own course. So, now, I offer you my hind-sight reflections as a married woman.

These are the top 10 things I wish I had valued when I was single:

10. Dates with girlfriends

9. freedom to spend money at my own discretion

8. Solo time

7. permission to decorate in pink

6. Road trips on a whim

5. Cooking without anyone else in mind

4. Crafting late into the night

3. ability to keep a clean house -- or not

2. time to be available for those in need

1. keeping my own schedule

God’s PerspectiveGod gives us some wisdom on staying present in the moment. James 4:13-14 says, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” Our time on this earth is short. We can spend it pining away after some hypothetical future, or we can live in the sweet reality that is today, giving thanks for every opportunity. “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”(Psalm 118:24).

God doesn’t promise us a spouse, or a boatload of money, or a really great job, but there are many things that He does guarantee right now for those who know Him. He gives us His presence (Hebrews 13:5) for comfort when we are feeling sad or lonely. He offers His Holy Spirit as a Counselor to guide us in our confusion (John

14:26). God promises His enduring love (Psalm 100:5), even when we feel unlovable.

Making it PersonalIf you are in a season where meditating on the future keeps you from really living in the present, would you walk through this activity with me? Make a list of 10 things that you are thankful for today. Ask God to help you grow to appreciate where He has you right now.

Courtney Newbery loves eating peanut butter straight from the jar and finds she is at her best after a nice long run. Between piles of endless laundry, she loves embarking on spontaneous adventures with her husband and two young children. Courtney holds a Masters in Biblical Counseling from Dallas Theological Seminary and is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the State of Florida.

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Is he interested or not? Should I test the waters to see if we can make this more than a friendship? Should I assert myself and ask him out? How should I interpret when he says he’s been thinking a lot about me lately?

If you’ve ever found yourself asking this sort of ques-tion about a particular guy, you might consult author Denise Flynn for advice. Even if marriage is a long way off, her new book Marry Me! provides a wealth of her per-spective from many years on the single scene, and les-sons learned. We offer our readers an excerpt below.

The Gabster

Dear Gabby, Is he interested or not?

kDear Gabby

time spent together is not necessarily an indicator of romantic interest from a

man—at least enough interest to go the whole marathon of life together. Men get lonely for companionship too. They may spend time with a woman because they like doing things they would not ordinarily do with their male friends. They may enjoy a feminine presence. They may be going through loneliness and struggling for a little attention themselves. They may be lonely, but not your one and only. I do not want to be the “in the mean-time” girl or the “pacifier” close friend. It could be costly to be in a friendship with a man who is lonely, likes my company and companionship, but who doesn’t really see me as “The One”. I feel myself to be a godly, sweet, attractive and fun female, a good listen-er, even soothing and sensitive. Men do seem to appreciate those traits. As such, it would be

easy for me to fall into a dead-end, semi-ro-mantic relationship. This requires that I guard my heart. I don’t want to be the “in-between, time killer” while they are waiting for their Mrs. Right. I’m not Ms. Almost.

The man should be the initiator of a date and of a relationship. He must be the stabilizer and maintainer as well. Women, don’t take up that role! It’s simply not right. Men do not pursue women who are pursuing them. You might get attention for a minute, but it will fade. Women in the leading role violate God’s natural law. Deep down they won’t have respect for you. In the movie Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O’Hara longed for Mr. Ashley Wilkes who was about to propose to Melanie instead. Her Pa said to her, “Have you been making a spectacle of yourself running about after a man who’s not in love with you when you might have any of the

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Dear Gabby, Is he interested or not?

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bucks in the county?” Ruth’s destiny was that she was brought to

Boaz through her devotion to Naomi and by working diligently in her situation. Ruth did make herself beautiful and visible to Boaz. Also as directed by Naomi per the Israelite custom of that time meaning no seduction or evil, Ruth did tip Boaz off by lying down at his feet, uncovering his feet and asked him to cover hers to consider her since he was her near kinsman-redeemer. Boaz took the lead from there and established the status of their relationship. We as women should keep our dignity.

It has been told to me, “Trust man through God.” I am not sure which gender has it more difficult—the man having to lead and take the chance to ask a woman for a date or a rela-tionship, or the woman having to wait and see if the man shows interest. I have sympathy

for both roles. But when we operate in our perspective roles with men as the leaders and hunters and women as the patient, pursued ones, there is a peace and a healthy sense of pride and productivity—regardless of the outcome.

That said, it is okay to ask a gentleman to attend such events as weddings or other cer-emonies where you may need an escort. Make sure you communicate when you are asking him to go that you “would prefer a companion for the evening” if that’s your intent. If it is a dating relationship you desire with him, after that event, leave it all in his court. If he wants anything further, he will ask you.

If a man really wants you, he will make time to find and be with you. He will consistently and increasingly come around you and stay in touch with you. He will not be able to keep silent. It will come out. You won’t have to

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Dear Gabby

wonder. That’s what real interest consists of. That’s what it should look like. If he likes you enough for a date or relationship, he will find determination to get something going and keep it going. If he desires a relationship, he WILL be talking about it with you, about you. Remember the old Motown song “Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep me from you”? Ap-ply that here. If he is not doing those things, he is not sincerely interested or interested deeply enough and the truth will set you free.

Here are a few more tip-offs of platonic friendship. When a man ad-dresses a woman as “Kiddo,” that’s a flashing signal he is only interested in platonic friend-ship. It is a fun, chummy title. It is a polite title, but says you are a friend who they have no romantic feelings for, yet there is a mutual respect and appreciation between you both. This is used when people have no interest, time or desire for a romantic relationship. I know a man means no harm when address-ing me that way, but it makes me feel belittled because I actually am a grown woman with character. It makes me feel like an unaccom-plished teenager. Brothers, even though you mean well, it may not be the best way to make your sister’s day.

“Take care” is another term holding up a pink flashing signal. It is something one would say to an aunt, neighbor, college buddy or work associate. Should you hear it as the con-versation closure, the heart connection prob-ably is not happening.

On the flipside women, when a man says, “You’re the only one I can talk to,” “You are so

easy to talk to,” “I feel like I’ve known you for a long time,” “You are so stable,” “I love your laugh” or lets you know you can call him even in the middle of the night (unless he is offer-ing to physically protect you from harm)…that very likely means you are finding a special way

into his heart. You’ll have to decide to be really responsible with what should and will happen next. Pray and de-cide. Do you really like him or not? If not, you may need to pull back from spending so much time together. Thank him for those com-pliments. Tell him you consider him a good friend and brother in the Lord.

Or, you can pray and continue to move for-ward, thanking him for the compliments.

The Dance The trouble we have is when our emotions get the best of us. Hope indeed is a wonderful thing, as is being confident in ourselves that we are a good catch! But hope and real life can be confused.

Here is a common dance among singles: Boy likes girl. Girl does not share the same feelings. Boy is sure she does have a roman-tic interest in him though, or that she surely will come around to that real soon. Boy feels frustrated that his romantic interest in her is not being reciprocated. Girl feels a little suf-focated from the extra attention of his words and actions she cannot reciprocate. She feels guilty, and explains they are platonic friends. Boy says okay and backs off from pursuing her romantically, continuing in fellowship. The pressure is off of her and she starts to act

remember the old Motown song "ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from

you"? apply that here. if he is not doing those things, he is not sincerely interested or interested deeply enough and the truth will set you free.

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nicely to him again thinking he understands the terms. Boy starts to have romantic feelings for her again. He thinks she’s changed her mind and now has feelings for him, but she has not. Recycle! Ladies: stay back, and then give the friendship six more months of space. Men can misinterpret friendliness. Women can too. It takes some refocusing and realigning to keep our hearts on the real track—the track of truth—that is, what is really or is not really going on in the other’s heart. It sometimes takes a good friend to say, “Didn’t you just tell me last week he/she’s not interested in you? What changed?”

Resist the temptation to hope for the “come around.” It usually does not happen. It is better to take the strong medicine and move on with life rather than get frustrated over unrequited love. You may have to keep saying to yourself, “Lord, help me not to hallucinate! It is only platonic friends!” Most of all, at this point, don’t beat yourself up because your heart got stirred up again over the person. It’s just how we are. It’s natural to unintentionally hold a candle for someone. We’re human. YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD AND OTHERS! Keep your eyes and focus fixed on God, His glory and the works we should be doing. My pastor always reminds us of the old, true hymn: Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim iIn the light of His glory and grace. Keep your eyes on Jesus and your knees on the ground. Try it…it really works. He really fills you up.

Denise Flynn is the author of Marry Me! and a souled-out woman of God who loves Jesus completely! Single again for 10 years since an unwanted divorce, the hurts and bruises have taken her closer to Christ. All healed up and having no smell of smoke, she bubbles over with the joy of the Lord. She feels called to minister to the needs of singles, those in relationships, the hurting and the lonely. Check out her blog at TheMarryMeBook.com

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the Recapthe recapk

Gwendolyn: Chandler and I are working through Ryan C. Vet’s book, Whatever Is…, an eight-week couple’s devotional which

Vet wrote for dating couples who are seriously pursuing a relationship with Christ as well. It is based on Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” The focus of the book is to bring couples closer to God by directing their attentions to whatever is good in God’s sight and by learning to successfully date within God’s perfect parameters.

Chandler: This nearly ninety-paged devotional is broken up into nine chapters, seven of which are studies focused on the seven types of things Paul commands us to think about in Philippians 4:8. For example, chapter three is titled, “Whatever is True,” and consists of passages of Scripture regarding the importance of truth and honesty and a short study of what it means to live truthfully. Each chapter, excluding the introduction, is broken up into five sections: Alone with God, Together before God, Prayer Points, Application and Memorization. My favorite out of these so far has been Together before God, where

difficult but necessary questions are asked and honestly answered face-to-face between partners. I also enjoy the Memorization sections, which I consider to be an aspect of following Christ that is too often overlooked, but is brought about in a practical way by Ryan.

Gwendolyn: Finding the time to sit down and make time for God seems almost impractical. We’ve got a hundred other things going on around us, things to do, and people who want our attention. Unfortunately, these are all things that keep us from doing what we really need to do. Although making time for these kinds of devotionals seems unrealistic, it is extremely important to spend time with your partner in God’s word, studying, talking and learning together.

Chandler: It’s hard enough finding time other than Sunday morning or Wednesday night to invest in godly things, especially for an eight-week period with two people fully involved. However, with the right amount of dedication, any couple looking for a way to share their journey with Christ would find working through Vet’s devotional rewarding. In the third study, “Whatever is Noble,” one of the

He Said/SHe SaidHigh school sweethearts Gwendolyn Anderson and Chandler Hunter review

in tandemWhatever Is...: A Couple’s

Devotional for Christian Dating in a Secular World

by Ryan C. Vet.

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main ideas is treating one another respectfully, but to the extent that the relationship is respectful to family and God, not just the two people directly involved. The idea of showing respect for Gwen’s family by how I treat and think about her is not a completely new idea, but prior to going through that study wasn’t something I held in as high of importance as I do now. There have been multiple instances where an idea has been brought to a higher place of importance in my mind because of its focus in the book, and I can see many more new and important ideas coming to light in the coming studies.

Gwendolyn: The questions Vet asks are much deeper and personal than most couples would reach in normal conversation. They are specific and help strengthen the relationship because they are about things that you wouldn’t talk about otherwise or with anyone else. Part of growing as a couple is understanding the way the other thinks; and Vet’s topics certainly make you think. While he digs deep into the two-sided relationship asking questions such as, “Is there anything that you have not told me that I should know that could affect our relationship?”, he also incorporates questions that ask about the three-way relationship between the two and God. For instance, “Do you feel that being in a relationship has helped you grow in your walk with Christ?” I can’t say I would have ever asked this without the book, but it was really helpful for life in the three-way relationship.

Chandler: There definitely have been some questions that have made me uncomfortable to answer honestly, but I appreciate that. This devotional brings up very important and necessary

things to discuss for couples wanting to get to know each other and God on a deeper level. The majority of the topics have been new and challenging questions that I have never come across until reading this book.

Whatever Is...: A Couple’s Devotional for Christian Dating in a Secular World by Ryan C. Vet. 90 pp. $14.98 on Amazon; $8.99 in Kindle

Chandler Hunter and Gwendolyn Anderson are counting down the days to high school graduation. Both plan to attend John Brown University.

He Said/SHe Said

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is

noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -

think about such things."Philippians 4:8

there definitely have been some questions that have made me uncomfortable to answer honestly, but i appreciate that.

by tanara Jane

Spring FormalsAre in the Air

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Fa shion DIV inA

Whether it’s prom, a graduation party or a formal wedding, you’ve spent a good deal

of time getting ready for a magical evening, but that doesn’t mean the event will be fool proof. Wardrobe malfunctions are no respecter of per-sons. And at the least expected remark, you and your date could come to an impasse. So it’s nice to have “back-ups” for those “just in case” moments.We can’t plan for every contingency, but here are five things you can easily pop in your hand clutch in case of an unexpected turn of events.

Safety Pins Often that most awesome outfit you couldn’t wait to wear doesn’t fit exactly like you imagined it would when you start to wriggle around in it. If you bust a move that busts a button, you need a back up. This happens—just last year a friend of mine was stuck in the bathroom trying to fix her dress with a ponytail holder. So stick a pin it in—your purse, that is. And if you don’t save your own hide (from exposure) you could be in a position to save someone else, which is also nice.

Bobby Pins/hairspray/decorative clip- Just something! To fix that stray lock of hair that keeps getting on our nerves, and is so not part of the look you were going for. Tuck it away with a clip and get on with the night, ready for any Kodak moment.

Batteries/Charger If you remembered to charge the battery on your phone or camera before you left, good. If not, take your charger. You have no idea how many shots you’ll want to take or when that battery will run out. So it’s nice to have spare batteries or a charger handy to keep you at 100 percent charged and ready.

Chapstick/Lipgloss After all the smiling you’ll be doing, the talking and

kissing (as you greet your friends, of course!) it’s nice to have something to freshen your lips, and bring more attention to your beautiful smile.

Money Even when you’re sure you’re date has planned to pay for dinner or the cab, bring some cash. A friend of mine once had dinner at a place where the menu was confusing and when the bill came, there wasn’t enough money between the two of them to pay! They had to leave his driver’s license, take a cab home, get more money and come back, which made it really expensive! Bring a back-up payment source. Maybe the restaurant doesn’t take the kind of credit card he was planning on using. You just never know. And even if dinner goes great, but the date goes sour afterward, that extra money can be your ticket home. Never leave home without enough money to get public transportation or a taxi home, or at least to safe place until a friend or family member can come pick you up.

With these small items in your bag, you’ve got a mini-survival kit! Don’t go to prom without it!