SHY CHILD

REN:

HOW T

O HELP

SHY

CHILDREN

BUILD C

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TEMPERAMENT AND GENETICS

• Genetics - Some of a child’s personality traits are inherited. This is known as a child’s temperament.

• Some children are born naturally more outgoing than others.• Babies who exhibit emotional sensitivity or who are easily

intimidated are more likely to be shy.

HOME ENVIRONMENT

• Learned Behavior• Sometimes shy or timid behavior is indirectly taught to younger

children by the actions of role models like parents or older siblings.

• Lack of Social Interaction• Children who grow up isolated or among a small group of people

my be uncomfortable with unfamiliar people.

LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE

• Family relationships• Both overbearing and overly stand-offish parents lead to a child

who is more prone to anxious or fearful behavior in unfamiliar situations.

• Harsh Criticism• Children who are constantly teased and scolded by older siblings or

parents tend to become shy or withdrawn.

• Fear of Failure• Children who are pushed beyond their abilities and then made to

feel bad for not succeeding may develop a feat of failure that presents as shyness.

SO WHY

IS T

HIS

IMPO

RTANT?

TH

E A

F F EC

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OF S

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VI O

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SOME PRO’S AND CON’S OF SHY BEHAVIOR

P R O ’ S

• Fewer disruptive behaviors

• Increased attentiveness at school

• Increased listening skills

• Deeper-thinking

• Possible sense of inner peace

C O N ’ S

• Reduced social interact with peers

• High anxiety levels

• Reduced willingness to participate in sports, groups, and teamwork

• Feelings of loneliness or unimportance

• Possible sense of inner turmoil

IS M

Y CHILD

’S S

HYNESS

NORMAL?

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BE

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SHYNESS IS NORMAL, WITHDRAWAL IS NOT

A S H Y C H I L D :

• Is cautious but warms up eventually

• Has few behavioral concerns

• Is often near peers even if not actively participating

A W I T H D R A W N C H I L D :

• May suddenly act out

• Avoids eye contact

• Is avoided by peers

WAY

S TO P

ROMOTE A

N

OUTGOIN

G CHILD

HO

W T

O F

OS

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R S

EL

F- C

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FI D

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AN

D I N

DE

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HOW TO GENTLY PROMOTE SOCIAL INTERACTION• Avoid labeling• Children can grow to fit labels. Some children may use the label as

an excuse to avoid tasks they don’t want to do.• Labeling can also reduce self-confidence if the child feels something

is “wrong” with them• Build self-esteem• Praise skills your child is developing. For example comment on her

improving hand writing or how colorful his drawing is.• Avoid comparison to older siblings. Younger children may not be

developmentally ready to act like their siblings, even if they are only a year or two older.

• Avoid empty praise such as “good job” or “nice”.

HOW TO GENTLY PROMOTE SOCIAL INTERACTION• Encourage Conversation• Talking with your child will help you to understand fears that cause

shy behavior.• Taking interest in a child’s thoughts shows that what they have to

say does matter to others.• Lead by Example• You are the most important person in your child’s life. Model

confident behavior and they will mirror it.• Tell your child about times when you felt similarly to them. This will

help to show them that feelings of anxiety are ok and can be overcome.

• Set Goals• Children love to meet reasonable expectations. Start small, like

interacting with one new child on the playground, and work up to larger goals like group activities or sports teams. Praise at all these steps is essential.

REMEMBER

• Shyness is not the same as withdrawal. Many children go through shy periods.

• Don’t try to push your child out of their shyness. This can lead to increased anxiety and therefore increase shy behavior.

• Praise is very important. Avoid criticism and comparison to older, more developmentally advanced siblings.

• Take your child to unfamiliar settings or to meet unfamiliar people. Isolation promotes shy behavior.

Thank You