Shree

Contents

Grace Only !

Introuduction

Chapter 1

1. First Step!

2. Meeting of Sadguru and Unintentional Grace !

3. Divine Light Initiation and the Appearance!

4. Should I call you Sagun or Nirgun?

5. I am the Sea!

6. Divine Bandha and Mudra

7. Shree Sadguru’s splendorous shield of Protection !

8. The Meeting of Sadguru by the power of Yoga!

9. The Sound of the Anklets!

10. Our Dear Child!

11. Adishakteerameyatma !

|| Shree ||

Sarvashrutishiroratnavirajitpadambujah!Vedanambujasuryo yastasmai shreegurave namah!

(All Shruti and Vedant shine glouriously at the feet of the Guru. That majestic sun of knowledge also eases there only. The rise of all knowledge becomes from those LOTUS feet of the Guru! I offer my obeisance to those lotus feet with the feeling of great devotion!)

I bow to the lotus feet of my most respected venerable SadguruShree Dadashree with great LOVE and devotion!

Surrendering myself at the Divine Feet of my Sadguru,

Suvarna

|| Shree ||

“Grace Only”.

“If Ishwar (Parmatma) /God/meets you, what will you ask for?”- I was utterly surprised to hear this question being asked in a very pure and clear loud voice! I had absolutely never imagined that such a question will be asked, but he had expected an answer! I asked him “How can Ishwar (Parmatma)/God/meet me?”

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He replied, “But, if he really meets you, then?”Shree Mohan Jadhav is a disciple of the Supreme spiritual master and the Kalki [explanation of Kalki1] incarnation, residing at Akkalkot, Param2 Sadguru Shree Gajanan Maharajshree. I lovingly address Shree Mohan Jadhav as Dadashree. He asked me this question. I was unable to understand his intent in his asking this question.

I started Performing Agnihotra as per his guidance. Later on Dadashree said,

“When you started Agnihotra, you have received the 'Ahetu Krupa' that is unintentional 'Grace' the divine blessing!!"

He visited my house exactly one month and thirteen days, i.e. Thursday, 11th March 2004, on Rangpanchmee day [Holy festival], after I started performing Agnihotra. He arrived at my house at 10.30 a.m. in the morning. As usual during my daily worship at seven 0' clock in the morning, I saw Shree Shreepad Shreevallabh [who is he?] seated gracefully occupying the entire temple instead of the Deities! When Shree Dadashree arrived at 10-30 AM. I said to him, "you did arrive in my house at seven o'clock this morning! He exclaimed in a cheerful tone, “Oh! Is it?

After this incident, he came to my house on the next Thursday at eight 0' clock in the morning without my invitation. He sat in the temple and asked me to sit before him.

Then he started talking1 Kalki (Sanskrit – Pollution) The Kalki Avatar is the Avatar for these circumstances which are marked by pollution. In the book Kalki Puran life and work of the Kalki is described. He is in the line of the great Avatar the tenth.2 Param Sadguru means “highest among the perfect masters”

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“Shree Swamy Samarth has sent me to you. Your life is not to live and experience the mundane (worldly life) life”.

I was absolutely unable to understand why he was telling me all that! Then he initiated me with ‘Mantra Abhishek’. (That is showered me with water chanting several Mantras) and gave me The ‘Mantra’ and instructed me to repeat it, utter it as per his instructions! He also instructed me how to maintain the posture and the disciplines. This entire event was beyond my understanding and comprehension.

I read only in the books about the great significance and importance of the sudden and unexpected visit of the Sadguru at the disciple's residence and granting the initiation! After that he said to me,

"Always remember the most honourable and highly Supreme spiritual Master; Param Sadguru Shree Gajanan Maharajshree! The knowledge that is granted in dreams is the great and most highly supreme knowledge. We have given you the most sacred ‘Mantra’ that has been chanted and worshipped by Shree Swamy Samarth and the great age Agasty”!

After some days, the most revered Param Sadguru Maharaj Shree also gave me his 'Darshan' (Appeared in person). He Said in Hindi

"Betee! Tum badee bhagyashalee ho".Meaning 'My dear daughter you are very fortunate'.

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Dadashree said to me,

"The greatest power in the universe is with you. The entire lineage of the spiritual Masters [Guru-parampara] is accompanying you. Our relationship of the Guru and disciple has been continuously existing from birth after birth [Life after Life]. We have given you unbroken (whole), imperishable (permanent) Gift (Grace) Ananyashintaanto mam ye janah parayupasate Thesham nitybhiyuktanam yogshmam vahamyaham

“Yogkshemam Vahamayam” – “We will take care all of your life!” This is the assurance of the Parabramha Supreme Great-Power!'

Dadashree lives in America. Though the Sadguru may be far away from the disciple, the physical distance makes no difference. The Grace of the spiritual Master bestows the knowledge. The disciple has to observe the disciplines with determination, with full devotion, faith, perseverance, patience and courage. The disciple has to be steadfast. All these are essential in this path. One may have to go through rigorous tests. There could be gold in the dirt, yet to extract that gold the purification process by fire cannot be avoided. The disciple is guided and protected on this path so that he may not deviate or fall.

He says,

"The fall does not occur when on the seventh step. The path towards the greatest Supreme Truth becomes easy with

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Grace, yet this path is very difficult, very rigorous. This is the war-field for great warriors!

Once it is achieved, once it is realized, nothing remains to be known or realized. That is the Omniscient state. You will see the majesty, the grandeur of this yoga, which cannot be compared to anything! It is unparallel! Even the universal sovereignty (monarchy over the earth) is insignificant. The one who attains this great majesty, this richness, becomes God only! She becomes the Goddess (Bhagavatee). The greatest the supreme truth is nothing other than this! There is no awareness of the 'I' there! That is the supreme Truth. The knowledge of ‘Self’ is the Swaroop-yoga - the state of Consciousness or identity with Brahma! That self-knowledge is never ending, eternal without life and death, extremely pure, spotless and self-realizing [Swa-Swasanvedy] you are perfect now. Now there is all oneness. Only a thin, transparent curtain has been kept-as if it is there or it is not there”.

Shri Dadashree has taken me on this path that leads to the highest truth by holding my hand (by guiding me every step on the way) very assuredly. He himself did all the Yogic-Kriyas in the beginning of meditation only. Since the grace of my Sadguru was showered, this grace set to work with loving grace continuously blooming in the inner core of my heart!

Dadashree gave a valuable suggestion. He suggested,

"Write dawn your experiences, maintain a diary. Your experiences could be a guideline to all spiritual aspirants (Dashikis). You will not explain this science that contained in

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the books. You will speak through your personal experiences. You may speak about it from the imperceptible personal experiences. It is the Truth. It is genuine and perfect. All science can be tested with these experiences!"

I have made spontaneous notes as the experiences or revelations occurred in the meditation. The experience of attaining of the pitcher of Divine Nectar (Amrut Kumbha), or the nectar of knowledge granted to me and the visions (the darshan), of the vast ocean of the Divine and dazzling light shown to me were granted to me by my most revered Sadguru Dadashree. I was completely melted (dissolved) in the direct appearance of the fathomless. All that I have experienced during my meditations I have been promptly recorded in this diary.

As the experiences unfolded I have made spontaneous notes. About the attainment of the pitcher of Divine Nectar from my most revered Sadguru Dadashree or the knowledge granted to me as also the visions (darshan) of the vast ocean of blinding dazzling Divine light were revealed to me upon are the conclusion of my meditation. These experiences are recorded as accurately as I could. There was hardly any difference in the meditative and the awakened state and so I have recorded in my daily notes.

Other than this, there is nothing special, nothing significant in my life that is worth to be written until I met Shree Dadashree. At present too there is nothing much special about me. I know "I do not exist! My appearance, my form is appearance (Swaroop) of my loving Sadguru Shree Dadashree. Therefore, though I wrote all this, the real inspiration came from my Dadashree only!

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I offer this great treasure of Knowledge, which I received, from him at his auspicious lotus feet with deep gratitude and love!

I have woven the flowers of the Divine Grace and the illumined fruition experienced by the desire of the Supreme Being (Paramatma) in the string of the feelings of love and devotion. The sweet fragrance and the expounded waves of knowledge of that devotion will be deeply felt by pure and holy hearts of the Yogees. I offer this exceedingly bright garland enriched with the majestic grandeur of Yog (Spiritual devotion) at the radiant lotus-feet of my most respected (revered) supreme Spiritual Master (Sadguru)!! Surrendering myself at the divine feet of my Sadguru.

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Introduction

I was born on Datta Poornima day. We are six brothers and sisters I am the second sibling to my parents. My father Shri Ganappa Prasadee is a businessman. My mother's name was Sou. Pramila. My parents were very kind gregarious, and very helpful. In the beautiful scenic village at Sasolee in Konkan we had a big house with fairly large yard in front and back. My sisters and I, we loved gardening and flowers. Our childhood was full of play, laughter and joy. We lived very free of all worries. We had several cousins also in the family. My grandparents that are parents of my mother passed away at my mother's early age. We children do not remember having seen them. My mother used to tell us many loving stories about them. My mother's parents were well to do. Both these grand parents were god-fearing and great devotees. My grandfather\ would observe several penances. During his fasting period, he would not eat or drink or swallow even a swallow. Severe austerities were typical even amongst dedicated Muslims during Ramajan. Quite often he would take up religious pilgrimages. He would visit Kashi (Benaras) every year. He was gifted with intuition and could foretell future happenings. My mother too had developed intuition and would receive messages through significant dreams.

We had to move from little village Sasolee in Konkan to Gadhinglaj when I was about seven or eight years old, There my father started an oil mill and prospered through his diligent hard work. He would teach us Bhagavat Gita and he lived those great principals. His teaching and upbringing had a great impact on my mind. We all children received several recommendations as well-behaved and cultured students.

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I had great attraction for god from my childhood.. Mrs. Tai Gaitonde was a close and a very pious and devoted lady. She was our neighbour. She would chant many scriptures, mantras and prayers such as Shivastuti, I starting early morning and all through out the day. I remember how lovingly she would sing a prayer to Lord Dattatreya with all her heart. I still remember her singing “Dhanya Dhanya ho pradakshina Sadguruaraychi” This particular hymn had words such as “Sadgururaya”.

The word Sadgururaya deeply moved me since my childhood. As a result when my Sadguru showered his divine grace on me, the word Sadgururaya (Lord Sadguru) that was etched in my heart since early years. This word became real and so was written in my notebook with immense love and spontaneous heartfelt devotion. Such was the great influence of Mrs. Tai Gaitonde since early on. I experienced this quite often in the later years of my life too.

So! I grew up in such auspicious environment. Mrs. Tai Gaitonde used to read the religious scripture such as Pandava Pratap and would explain to us the significant meanings every day. During those days I read another holy scripture "Kashi Khanda" several times. My mother too was a very holy lady and observed several austerities. She would offer 1008 bilva leaves to Lord Shiva during the holy month of Shravana. We all children too individually did similar workshop. We children used to visit 21 Lord Shiva temples and would temples and would perform elaborate Shiva worship.

When I was of marriageable age, several proposals started coming in. My mother used to chide me and would advise me not to

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get too involved into spirituality or worship. Perhaps would be in-laws may think differently.

Later, I got married. My husband and his father had a house at Sanglee. My husband had a job in Pune so we settled in Pune. He was an engineer and well employed with Kirloskar Cummins. Soon thereafter he started his own industry making patterns for other engineering companies. We have a son Ajay and a daughter Rashmi. By God’s grace my husband’s business prospered very well. We acquire a larger location at Hadapsar and moved our factory there. The factory is equipped with latest automatic equipment. Our son Ajay too is an engineer and is actively involved in the business. The business prospered quite rapidly. Thus my entire life has been spent in rich comfortable environment. My husband, our children and I are very industrious by nature. My husband did all that he possibly could to provide us of all comforts. I have enjoyed and experienced all material pleasures such as a beautiful bungalow, flat, cars etc.

We had wonderful neighbours. We served the community through several projects for over 20 years through Rotary club. It was never an easy sailing. When operating a growing business and raising a family, it is never an easy sailing. We too had our trials and tribulations.

I did many 'Parayanas' [planned readings] of the Holy Scriptures such as Navanath, Gajanan Vijay etc. I used to get some experiences after performing the Parayana. Then I started the Japa (chanting) also continuously. I used to get up at 3.30 A.M. or 4 A.M. and start my Japa. When doing so for some time, the rosary would fall out of my hands. A light was seen in front of my eyes. I used to get the visions even when asleep.

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It was quite puzzling to me. I used to feel, "why does this happen to me?" I had never gone to any temple. I had no Guru to guide me. I never knew any authoritative person in this field. I met Shri Harikaka (A saintly person) of Halkarni once or twice in my childhood. But I was too young to understand any spiritual subject or explanations. I did my worship with full concentration and great devotion. I was very particular about the cleanliness of the house. I used to maintain the cleanliness and purity perfectly well. All what I did, I did in my house only. I never went outside anywhere.

In this manner, my life was very simple, typical of any ordinary person. I lived my life as a good housewife. By nature I am very persistent. I have tremendous patience. I had a great liking for flowers and decorations. I used to stitch beautiful fancy dresses (and blouses) for my daughter when she was small. I loved to do embroidery.

Our son Ajay and daughter Rashmi got married. My daughter-in-law Anushka entered in our life. They both have a daughter. Her name is Eisha. My daughter and son-in-law Vijay live in Mumbai. They have a son. His name is Ruhaan. In short, my life was like any other common human being.

But, we have absolutely no idea about any change or a sudden event that may occur in our lives. One cannot predict when, how and what will happen in life. I never imagined that I will get the grace, blessings of Sadguru and will have an opportunity to see, to experience the supreme Truth. Yet, yes! This wonderful uncommon and remarkable experience did happen. The-divine experiences are still unfolding in my life now as I write! Shree Dadashree had showered his infinite grace on me. I received profound love from

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him. The nature of my writing is related to the imperceptible experiences that I have received in meditation while treading on the spiritual path that leads to revelation of the greatest Truth! I did not think and write. What I wrote are facts as accurate as I possibly could yet in a nutshell. I could write only briefly as the actual revelations were impossible to capture in words.

These experiences were numerous. Experiences were ample such as divine visions, apparition (Darshans), the infinite ocean of light, the divine yogic kriyas (powerful involuntary movements) that would happen during my meditation. The most powerful Kumbhak, Pranayam, Bandha Kriyas, rhythm (laya), hundreds of divine Mudras, the sound and divine light, All these were unfolded one after another from one to the next amongst so many! Since, all these experiences are interrelated, I humbly request the readers to pay more attention and understand the significance of these wonderful experiences and revelations!

“That which I gained by the grace of Sadguru is a rapid scintillation” (sparkling and rapid resuscitation). When writing this, there could be several repetitions and this is unavoidable. The spiritual aspirant (Sadhaka) or the reader may keep this in mind. Should one read with an attitude to learn, he/she will find a treasure of tremendous learning in it. I pray, "With loving heart may you gather all that may help or benefit you.

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First Step!

In December 2003, I received a telephone call from my niece, Mrs. Priya Mangire, a resident of USA. She said, "Shree Mohan Jadhav Dada lives in America. He has now come to India and is in Pune. You go and meet Shree Jadhav dada". I went to meet Shree Jadhav dada as per her suggestion. I mentioned about Priya as a reference. He said,

"You start 'Agnihotra '. Observe your experiences during the next 8 to 10 days. At present, we are going on a tour for 8 to 10 days. When we will return, we will call you."

He then gave me two contact numbers to get the information about Agnihotra and the material I needed. However I did not get to talk to these two people.

Within 8 to 10 days, I received a telephone call from Shree Jadhav dada. He asked me,

"Have you started Agnihotra"? I replied, "No!" He said, "The Parabrahma [The Supreme Power] is showing you the path of your Salvation. Try to follow it! Do it!"

One of my friends used to do Agnihotra. I enquired about the availability of the needed supplies. In the meantime, during the month of February I mentioned to my husband, "Let us bring the Agnihotra pot and at least start performing it". He agreed. We brought all the material on 4th February and started performing Agnihotra on 5th February 2004.

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We did Agnihotra regularly. To my surprise, I saw a bone skull near the pot after performing Agnihotra! Next day I saw white Ganapatee near the pot. There were many thoughts that were spinning in my head. They all stopped on the fourth day and I was able to sleep peacefully.

Again I received a phone call from Priya about arrival of Shree Jadhav Dada in Pune. She asked me to invite him at our home. I met him and informed him about my experiences after performing Agnihotra. I also told him about my keen desire to invite him at our house. He agreed to come on next day. This time Dada spoke to me for a long time. He said,

“You have done many virtuous and meritorious deeds in your past life. Do not get yourself tangled up and get caught in the mundane matters of life now! See, that the Holy word of God is with every breath of your life till the end. Perform every action with devotion to God and surrender to Him!”

There after I came home.

11.3.2004On Thursday March 11, at 7 AM I sat in front of the altar (in

our prayer room) for my daily worship. I started the worship. I could not see the deities in the altar. I was surprised to see the full figure of Shreepad Shreevallabha live and in person, clad in saffron clothes and holding a ‘Kamandaloo' pot (a begging bowl) in his hand. I could not see any thing else in the altar. Yet I completed my worship and prayers. My husband came home along with Shree Dada. I poured water on his feet and welcomed him inside our house. He performed Shree Rudra and Shree Sukta yajnya. He

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instructed all of us to join him with our respective Agnihotra pot to perform the Yajnya. My maiden Soja and her husband Shivaji aksi joined us for the Yajnya.

I spoke to him a little later. Though there was no formal introduction before this event. Yet I asked him, “Will it be possible for me to go on pilgrimages and visit the holy places?" he replied immediately,

"All holy places are residing, existing in you only!"

He asked me to do the Swahakar of Mahamruttunjaya. Then he left. This is how Agnihotra started in our house.

When Shree Dada visited my house my spiritual journey of my life started! I started getting various divine experiences such as visions of the “Divine and apparitions from this auspicious day forward.

I am used to sleep for some time in the afternoon. When sleeping, I saw Shree Swamy Samarth standing in the thick descending limbs of a banyan tree. When I closed my eyes, I saw the golden light and the most beautiful and delicate lotus feet! The toes of these feet were shining with a diamond like radiance.

14.3.2004I woke up from the afternoon nap in a normal manner. I

realized that my mind was full of peace. For the first time I was feeling a deep sense of peace and well-being.

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15.3.2004I performed my regular Japa and sat quietly with eyes closed.

At this time I felt a fountain was rising high from my forehead!

16.3.2004When I closed my eyes, I felt waves of water were rising high

on my forehead. I also saw Shri Nrusinha Saraswaty in white robe.

17.3.2004After performing the Mrruttunjaya Swahakar I had a sensation

of circular movements of light around my head and around my face.

While performing the Mruttunjaya Swahakar I felt that I did not exist at all! Shree Jadhav Dada was in the deepest inner core of my heart. I was not at all conscious or aware of my own existence. Just four days before he had said to me,

"I am always accompanying you."

I just nodded at that time. But, today morning I truly experienced his real existence in the deep core of my heart. I was simply very happy. Today I informed Shree Jadhav dada about the experiences that I had in the past when doing the ‘Japa’. He sat quietly with closed eyes and told me later on,

"We saw your previous births, your previous lives. Your present birth, your life is for Sadhana-the spiritual practices!!"

Then he asked me a question.

"If Ishwar (Paramatma) meets you, what would you ask for?"

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I was unable able to think of a reply to his question. I never imagined that such a question would be asked. I asked him, "How can Ishwar (Paramatma) meet me? Yet he repeated the same question.

“Even then: if He really meet you? Then?"

I replied, "Something good should happen!" He exclaimed,

“Does that mean, you want money and fame?”

I replied, “I should receive something so significant in my life that it would give a sense of completion and total fulfilment! It should be meaningful!" then I took his leave and returned home. He telephoned at 7 p.m. in the evening.

“I will come to your house tomorrow. Please come and take me to your house.”

18.3.2004My husband arrived at 8.30 AM, along with Shree Jadhav

Dada to our house. He came and sat in the hall. He sat for barely two minutes and suddenly got up. He went to the altar (inside the prayer room). I followed him. He (told) me to get a wooden seat. I gave him a wooden seat. He sat on it and told me to sit in front of him. I sat according to his instruction. He started talking in a deep calm voice.

"Your virtuous merits (Punyaee) since many lives are to fructify today. The Parabramha, The supreme power, Shree Swamy Samarth commanded me; hence I have come to you.

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You are greatly fortunate. The purpose of your life is rising on spirituality. There are many noble works (Karya Sadhana). Your birth in this life is for that! Try to make it perfect and meaningful. All mundane Kriyas (action) will decrease gradually and you will make progress. You will realize and understand all this very shortly. While performing the spiritual practices, remember the assurances of Shree Swamy. "Do not be afraid. I am with you (I am protecting you)". We are always close to you. The attire (clothes) on our body may also ve far off. But we are not even that far off. (from you)

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Meeting of Sadguru and Unintentional grace

18.3.2004Then he applied the sacred rice grains with red Kumkum on

my forehead and while chanting the mantras as a blessing, gave me an 'Abhishek' (a shower sprinkling water with several mantras) and gave me the Initiation. After this sacred act, he instructed me on the posture, breathing techniques and showed me how to do it. He then spoke these valuable words,

"You have the sacred mantra which is the 'Tarak Brahmha' (The very infinite Being and support of all that there is) the most powerful Mantra is conferred (granted) to you. The perfect ablution (Abhishek) has been bestowed the Deekshit (spiritual aspirtant) with touch, darshan appearance in person and solemn resolution! You will make rapid progress from now onwards until you reach your destination, your goal with a high flight! The Supreme Power, the Parabrahma himself will take care of you and guide you during yoga Sadhana (spiritual practices). Rise early in the morning before the dawn and start your meditation. Try to meditate as much as you can. Meditate more. As you will constantly continue the Sadhana, and meditations, Sadguru will guide you at every step the way. Everything will happen automatically on it’s own!

There is never a single moment when Shree Swamy is not with you. You will come to know very soon about who we are (you will understand who I am)".

I was listening to his words with rapt attention and was dazed. I was really stunned! My most respected, extremely venerable

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Sadgururaya, I had only read it in the books so far that, the 'Krupa' (Divine Grace) of the Sadguru is granted only when the aspirant is virtuous and deserving. The Sadguru then comes to us on his/her own. Shree Sadguru has to say and declare that the aspirant, the devotee belongs to him. He is the ultimate of Sadguru!!

18.3.2004Oh God! This was the most unexpected and surprising event

that has happened in my life! It is my greatest fortune to receive such blessings, the grace of Sadguru without any efforts on my part. It all happened so easily and so naturally! I am inexperienced and ignorant about this yet such supreme grace has been showered so unexpectedly! I did not make any special efforts for it. I did nothing.

It is truly the greatest fortune of my life. Really a great fortune in my life! Though My Dear Sadgururaya, you live in America, you came here just to grant your grace and shower all your blessings on me?

This is the most fortunate, the most glorious day of my life! This great fortune walked to my house on it's own. For this blessing, people try their best and struggle all their life!

Oh God! What else could I ask for? Which demand should I make? I do not ask for anything else except a genuine prayer that sprang from my heart. "Stay constantly in the deep core of my heart, my mind"! I have received the highest, the greatest fortune, which is so rare and invaluable in the universe. I pray that it may stay permanent and unbroken forever!

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I did my worships and did Parayanas (Continuous & planned reading of the religious books) that's all. When prostrating before God or praying to him I never asked for anything ever in my life. I worshiped our family Goddess Shree Shakambharee Banshankaree with devotion in my mind. Mentally I would adorn her with rich clothes and lots of ornaments. I used to offer one lakh Bilva leaves (one lakh = 100,000), one lakh lotus flowers, one lakh golden flowers (scented flower known as 'Champa'), one lakh lamps to her everyday. I used to make one lakh pradakshinas (circumambulations) around her. I used to recite her Holy name for one lakh times. I used to worship one lakh couples of husband and wife and honour them by donating food, clothes and golden ornaments in my mind. I used to bow dawn and pray with a request, "Oh God, May you give your blessings to all! Give to good thoughts and good intellect That's all!

Now I will note dawn the experiences which occurred in the meditation. Dadashree has taken me on this path that leads to the supreme Truth.

19.3.2004I constantly kept on communicating and keeping a contact

with my Sadguru by phone. I always felt like listening to his words during the telephone conversation.

20.3.2004I saw the idol of Lord Dattatreya in a rapid glance today!

Later I had to go to Hubli for four days.

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24.3.2004I felt lightness in my hands and body during meditation. The

japa or chanting of Mantra was happening naturally, easily and continuously during the entire day. It happened so naturally and automatically that I felt it easier than breathing! All this happened due to the grace of my Sadguru only!

25.3 .2004A light was seen coming from both the eyebrows. A conch

was also seen during the meditation.

26.3.2004When the Agnihotra was completed, I saw in front of me a

holy person with loose long hair on shoulders in a cross legged sitting posture with legs crossed. I could clearly see the golden half moon on his head. The smile on my face lasted during meditation and for the rest of the day.

28.3.2004While performing Agnihotra in the morning I had a very clear

and distinct Darshan (Vision) of Lord Shiv Shankar. He was seen adorned with garlands of Rudraksha-beads around his arms, the trident in the hand, and a moon on the head. His lotus eyes were half-open and his beautiful bluish face was seen very clearly! There were happy vibrations all over in my body!!

29.3.2004As I concentrated my eyesight on the tip of my nose, I felt

tremendous strength in my waist and back!

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30.3.2004During meditation the tip of my tongue was folding back

towards my throat. Both palms of my hands that were placed on my thighs came automatically on the stomach as one upon another. Suddenly I sat very straight. I felt I had become very tall. Although my eyes were closed, I did not feel any stretching tension on my eyes. Sadgururaya, I felt a feeling of real peace and a different kind of experience.

1.4.2004I woke up late during the last day. I was feeling guilty that I

missed morning Agnihotra. I also felt, "How can I manage to do everything?" My mind was very restless during the entire day. When I was in deep sleep, suddenly Shree Datta Maharaj came close to me and stood near me. I looked at the watch. It was 4.30 A.M. early morning. In the morning when I started my daily worship, I saw Shree Datta Maharaj again on the altar.

I was trying to contact Shree Sadgururaya on phone many times; I was only listening to his words. He was saying,

“Be assured that nothing will go wrong during the spiritual practices. Shree Swamy, himself will take care. A velvet carpet has spread ahead of you. So, do not worry. Feel free of any worry. There will be difficulty during your Sadhana". Shree Sadguru further said, "We are holding your hand just as a mother would hold the hand of her child. You, the child may leave the hand but when the mother is holding she will not leave it!!"

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2.4.2004I woke up early morning, did Agnihotra and started

meditating. The muscles of my heart were moving from left to the right side completely in a rhythmic manner. The Namsmaran (chanting of the Mantra) was going on effortlessly. It was going on in a very slow manner. The palm of the left hand and the palm of the right hand came automatically near the stomach. The whole body became calm and quite. The body was relaxed! I felt as if I had a new body! A peaceful state of mind occurred. The chanting of the mantra continued all the time, even while reading or talking. I felt that I should do nothing else but sit quietly. I felt I have great strength in my waist and back during the last four days during meditation.

I slept in the afternoon. When I closed my eyes, I saw Shree Dattaguru. After ten minutes I felt my body light as a feather. Again I saw someone, clad in white clothes, standing before me. But, I could not recognize who that person was. When sleeping at night I closed my eyes and I saw Shri Datta Maharaj! I felt very much excited and very happy too!

3.4.2004After reciting the Nammantra, the rays of light were seen on

my forehead and face. The light started moving quickly and spreading as well! The hands that were on my thighs were lifted up automatically and were folded together like a Namaskar (joined palms), The Japa happened for a moment from the deep center of my heart. I felt very nice and wonderful at this time. My entire body became very light like a feather. I could not get that experience again despite making deliberate efforts. While doing the

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'Mruttunjaya Japa' I felt that Shiv Shankar is in my inner mind. I was unaware of my own existence!

Shree Sadgururaya's help is constantly there. I listen to his voice,“Suvarna, I am here only!"

His laughter and a call to assure me, is giving me confidence is also heard quite often.

When I slept in the afternoon, my whole body became very light like a feather. Shree Swamy Samarth was seen sitting in a crossed legged posture. A very bright and dazzling light was seen coming from his two eyebrows! That dazzling light started quickly spreading before my eyes. Finally, I got up. My body was completely relaxed. A thought came to my mind, "What should I do now?" A smile rose on my face and I started laughing from the depth of my stomach!

4.4.2004Tremendous heat was generated in my body, as I was

absorbed in meditation at dawn! I saw my Sadguru. He was wearing white clothes and Rudraksha.

4.4.2004I awoke at 12 o'clock at night. I closed my eyes again. Then I

saw a very soft, tender and white hand coming close to my heart

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Divine Light Initiation And The AppearanceA divine glorious light was coming out of his body. That light

started being absorbed in my eyes and face! Then it spread all over my body. Same thing started happening even when I slept in any position. Then I straightened my hands and legs and slept. I started the Namjap (Mantra) later on. My entire body became lustrous and started shining from my head to feet. The palms of my hands were opened up completely. Even my feet were straight. I felt I did not exist. I have no body at all! There was only the bright light of the size of my body! I saw this vision from 12 to 12.45 A.M. at night. One hand came close to my heart and two lotus feet were seen. I was remembering my Sadguru while looking at my body dazzling full of light. Each and every part half become splendorous and was shining brightly. I could see it very clearly as if looking it through a clean, clear glass.

4.4.2004I paid obeisance to God and closed my eyes at 12 P.M. First a

black colour statue of stones was seen. It was adorned with white clothes. Later on the image (statue) of Shree Pandurang adorned with rich yellow colour cloth and ornaments appeared. The blue colour Balkrishna was also seen crawling on his lotus feet in a loving manner. I saw the temple of Pandharpur behind Lord Pandurang.

When I slept in the afternoon at 1.30 PM I had the Darshan of Shree Gorakshanath clad in his typical saffron colour dress and garlands of Rudraksha around his neck.

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A bright splendour was constantly dazzling before my eyes. I phoned up Shri. Sadguru and informed him about this experience which happened at 12 p.m. in the night. He told me that, “Swamy Shri Swamy Samarth had showered his tremendous blessings (Grace). This experience was really excellent!”.

I was trying to recite the name. I was sitting very peacefully at 4.30 P.M. in the evening. Our family Goddess Shakambhary devi appeared before my eyes! She was sitting on the lion, Her forhead was decorated with red kumkum. There were beautiful ornaments on her body. Her face was full of sweet smile! Everything that I had seen so far always looks dim on the first day and very clear on the next day. I am always awake and alert whenever I see such visions!

05.04.2004: I slept in the afternoon. A light was seen before the closed eyes. When I got up, a good feeling of satisfaction existed deep in my mind. A kind of mysterious and profound peace was felt in the mind.

I used to read the book the happiness that you desire and expect in your life depends on the virtuous merit that you acquire and accumulate in many past lives. I used to satisfy my mind by reading such statements before. But, I feel very happy and proud to say that I got such great fortune unexpectedly from my Sadguru. I have tremendous feeling of gratitude and intensity of respect for him!

The virtuous merit of my parents end forefathersmust have been transferred to me Isn’t it?

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I slept at 10 P.M. at night and woke up at 11p.m. Sadgururaya, you were performing the Japa of Om in the Padmasana posture! An unusual feeling was felt in my heart which reached to my fore part of the head! It is not possible to express that sensation, that feeling in words. It was definitely something very extraordinary and very unusual! The Japa was going on inside the mind. The other word did not come out at all. This entire process was going on from 11P.M. to 12.30 PM during the night.

06.04.2004 One week is over. My activity of walking and working is going very slowly!

While performing Agnihotra at the dawn, “Sadgururaya, you were deep in my heart and soul completely! You have said, “Suvarna, We stay in your deep core of mind ‘continuously’. We get tremendous feeling of happiness in our mind when we try to have and dialogue with you. Now, this body and myself do not exist anymore! It is only for the bliss and grace of God!

While reciting the Mruttunjaya Japa all words were pronounced very firmly and clearly. Even my breathing also has improved. It even fills the chest completely. During the last twelve years, my breathing became very slow. It had become so slow that I could not be able to listen it on my own! Even my voice had become so slow that I could hear it myself!

“Sadgururaya, when I phoned to you and expressed my desire to meet you, you immediately agreed and told me to come at anytime! My doors are completely open to you!”. My heart was filled with great relief and satisfaction to hear your assuring and encouraging

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words! You are taking so much trouble for me. You only do the Mruttunjaya Japa. Even the Nam (name) is also recited by you! Now let my sense of ‘Ego’ and ‘anger’ also leave out, move away from me. I do not want any other feelings since, you are deep in my heart! Since yesterday, I feel that the chanting of the mantras such as “Agneemeele or Om Chatvaree Shrunga” are recited by some one else from the inner core of my heart!”.

07.04.2004 I saw (The Kalash) The sacred pot and the branch of mango-leaves as well as the coconut on the top of it seen in the early morning. A blue flame was seen rising from the two eyebrows!

I met shri Sadguru, ‘He said the sculptor takes the stone, takes the chisel and removes the chip.. As a result, the stone changes into the form of God. Similarly, remove the chips of passions and disturbances from the mind. You will see the image of God in your heart!

When you look into the mirror, if you see the reflection, think about the divine form of God instead of your own appearance, your own image, think that “the awareness, the union with God has been achieved by you!”

Shri Sadguru read my notebook. There was a soft smile on his face. He closed his eyes after reading it and uttered some ‘mantras’ while pointing his two fingers at me. Then he said, ‘Just as a lighted lamp should be placed in the palms of hands full of flowers, God has – You in the palms of this own hands also in the similar manner. It requires tremendous virtues merit of many lives to get experiences that you have experienced! Your

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progress is going on very rapidly. Cast away, remove all attractions, temptations and doubts. We cannot tell when we will meet again!” when he expressed there words my heart became full of extreme panic and sadness. It was full of lamenting thoughts.

Shri Datta Maharaj was seen in the meditation at night. I felt that spinal cord in the back was becoming strong.

I felt quite peaceful during the day when I started the Agnihotra, my maid servant Sou. Sojabai and her husband Shivaji also started it. I informed this matter also to my Sadguru. At that movement he said quickly’ when I will come to your house, I will visit her house also and meet her!” and he did it! He really went to her small tin hut on his own and met her! I was also present with them. He accepted milk. Sadguru presented a shawl to Shivajee and a saree to Sou. Sojabai. They both were very happy. Within one year only Shivajee received the lottery of five lakhs rupees.

08.04.2004I got up at the dawn. My mind was extremely peaceful. Meditation happened very well. A different kind of experience was felt inside the heart. The entire tension has gone out of my eyes, face, throat and neck. As if a new vibrant life was granted to me! I sat with closed eyes after completing the Agnihotra. I felt that I was engulfed by a kind of fog or the circles of air around me. Someone isstanding before me. But I could not recognise the figure!

09.04.2004I felt vibrations coming from the right side in the head and near the ear in the meditation performed at the early morning. There was

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numbness, some one was seen standing and holding something in the hands (Goddess, Devee) Later on three four Goddess were seen!

After the Mruttunjaya Japa, I sat with closed eyes. I felt that my physical form was looking a little thick. Then I realised that my body is engulfed, covered with something invisible. Then I felt that Shree Swamy Samarth is sitting instead of me. I said quickly, “Maharaj, give me strength.” He replied, “Everything has been given to you. What else you want now?”

I slept in the afternoon. My mind was absorbed in a thought about Sadguru’s departure to America. As if this meeting was organised only to give this grace on me! But afterwards, the opportunity to meet him again would be quite rare! My mind became very sad. I slept just like that reciting the name. The curved path of shining light was seen in front of my eyes. There was a constant light before the eyes. Then I dozed a little.

Suddenly I awoke! I felt that something was being stuffed with great pressure in my baok and chest. The sensation was that of a stick which is pressed inside the ground. Then the entire portion of my chest became fully stuffed. I felt that someone was trying to sit stretching himself, inside my skin.

The recital of the name continued during the whole day. A sound such as ‘Kurr------Kurr came out from my head and ears at night. I could see a dark deep place and the torrent of light coming from the upper side. Something unusual was constantly appearing before the eyes. I did not understand anything

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10.04.2004I felt that Shree Swamy Samarth was sitting before me as I chanted the mantra. After the Agnihotra and Japa, Nandi (the bull of Shiva) was seen.

I went to meet Sadguru. He was going to Mumbai today and later on to America after a week. He blessed all of us. We all felt very sad. My throat chocked with emotion. “When can we meet again?” He said, “Sant Thukaram had said, “Kanya Sasuryasee Jaye mage paratune pahe”. (when the daughter goes to her in laws house, she looks back to her father’s house again and again) The lustrous bright light was seen everywhere when I slept in the afternoon. Someone who wore a silken yellow cloth came inside after opening the main door.

Shri Sadguru’s phone call came at night. He said in a comforting voice, “Do not feel sad and bad!”

11.04.2004I performed my Sadhana as usual. I tried to concentrate on the

Naad as per the instructions of the Sadguru. Then I did all my house work in a very peaceful manner. I was so surprised to myself. I could not be able to do the same job with peace inspite of all my efforts for so many years in the past! Peacefulness, calmness cannot be achieved by reading books and taking medicines. It is necessary to have the graciousness of Sadguru and his guidance only !

I have prepared ‘Dahi-Butti (Curd rice) today, I offered it to God and requested Shri Sadguru also to eat it.

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To my surprise, I saw that he had taken a morsel of that ‘Dahi-butti’.

I phoned Shri Sadguru in the next morning. He was going to Mumbai today. Again he gave his assuring promise in a comforting voice, “Do not worry and feel bad. We are constantly with you!”.

12.04.2004After reciting the mantra at the early morning, I closely my

eyes and felt there was some covering, some protection around me. God Shankar (Shiv) was seen.

After the Mruttunjaya Japa also something was seen. But it was not clear. I sat before Gods in the meditative posture with closed eyes. Goddess Shakambharee was seen exactly she is in the Badamee temple decorated with beautiful flowers used in the worship! Everything was real, perfect and beautiful! Even the flowers were also looking very fresh!

Yesterday, Shree Sadguru pacified and comforted me so much! He told me to concentrate on Sadhana more ! He would like it much mere than anything else. My mind was very restless. My mind became very uncomfortable. A feeling of uneasiness and depression continued throughout the day. I did not get any experience during the last two days. So my mind became more restless.

Shri Sadguru said, “Shree Swamy Samarth and Shreepad Shreevallabh themselves are constantly staying with you. It is

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not necessary to go to the temple. God is constantly staying in the deep core of your heart”. This is really true! Since the 6th

March, I have realised that Sadgururaya you are deep in my heart. You are seated gloriously in my heart. Not a single moment has gone without your existence so far! Really you do exist in my heart constantly.

He continued further, “Now all defects, drawbacks and sicknesses of many births will be destroyed. They will vanish forever. You will get experiences, everyday. All Gods will give heir auspicious Darshan. All Gods will give be also seen deep in your hearts, you will get spiritual accomplishments (Siddhies). But do not turn to Siddhies! Your mind will be more introvert. You will feel like talking less. When you will speak, God will talk through you from your heart. Therefore, always speak good only. You will certainly get the opportunity to meet the ultimate truth the Parabhama (the highest supreme power) Then you will experience, delight and happiness everywhere. Do not leave ‘the Nam’!. I am, the fire in the Agnihotra. the ‘mantras’ of the early morning are very powerful. They are very effective- Never try to leave them. Always keep communication, a continuous contact with Parabhama!” He spoke a lot with me in this manner. I was listening like the enchanted person. All these things happened so fast, so rapidly that I had no time to think anything about it. There was a continuous attempt to follow and behave in accordance with the instructions of Sadguru. I pray to him with greatest devotion, “Let everything happen according to the spiritual master’s guidance by me. Let my mind become fully aware with the thought that my desire will be definitely fulfilled by the blessings of Sadguru!”.

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He said, “Do not leave the ‘Laya’ (rhythm) of the internal sound. (AntarNaad). keep your attention, constantly on that internal ‘Naad’ (Sound)”. I am also trying my best to do so in the constant manner!

13.04.2004. My meditation happened very well today morning! After the completion of Mruttunjaya Japa, I had a feeling of the high rising aura around my body. I felt vibrations in the chest, near ears and head. Those vibrations slowed dawn gradually after the noon. I felt very peaceful throughout the whole day.

14.04.2004Meditation was really good at the dawn. But, I did not feel vibrations anywhere in the body. Not even in the stomach, chest, ears nor in the head tool, I felt still (calm) vacuum in the entire body. The same experience continued while working in the house. A continuous feeling of calmness means there were no internal vibrations in the heart or the panting expression of breath in the stomach or in the chest! I felt that there was no movement in my body. My head was calm. I felt power (the strength) in the eyes. I consulted Shri Sadguru. He told me to continue the name let this state remain like this in its own way. I felt this calmness, this peace during the night and day. I felt that I should perform the activity of working, walking and talking in a very soft and gentle manner because my Sadguru is in my heart. I should not behave or do anything that will disturbed him and trouble him. After making an offering of any good item or a dish, when I said to him, “Please accept this offering. Eat it” I actually saw him eating!

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15.04.2004 While meditating at the dawn I saw a lighted lamps in the hands of my Sadguru. He held its flame in front of my yes. I concluded that he was guiding me to how to keep the gaze (the vision) at the fore (chief) point of the nose!

After the Mruttunjaya Japa, a blaze of light entered in my chest from the Agnihotra vessel. Shri Dattaguru was seen in the heart. Two impressions of feet were also seen (Two wooden slippers of God). Shri Dattaguru was standing at my back also. It was feeling of immense and unusual joy to experience the existence of God in the heart and behind the back at one and the same time!.

I was eating banana at 9. a.m., while eating, I was chanting the name- I experienced that instead of me Shri. Sadguru was eating that banana!

I saw Shri. Sadguru clad in the yellow silken cloth and wearing a Rudraksha rosary. This appearance started enlarging more and more later on.

16.04.2004I saw eyes of my Sadguru during the mediation. His eyes came close to my eyes and touché them. As if he was giving a message of the method of keeping the gaze at the point of Bhrumadhya. (Third eye, Christ, centre, Ajna-Chakra)

How tenderly and properly the Sadguru takes care of his disciple!

My meditation was very good after the Mruttunjaya Japa. A blazing splendour came out of my two eyebrows. An image of

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some God was in the standing position in that blazing splendour. My lips moved after sometime and my face became crooked. For the last two to three days two eyes are seen in front of my eyes and near my eyes!

17.04.2004In the meditation, I had a vision in which some one tore out my face with hand. A white swan was seen flying in the sky. I saw the ‘Om’ also.

18.04.2004I woke up at 4.a.m. at the dawn and started the Japa. I thought that one month is over today since I was granted the blissful initiation. All events happened so rapidly that I did not get time to think also.

Two days are over. The symbol of Om and Swastik was seen in the stomach and on the Bhroomadhya. (Christ Centre Ajna-Chakra) Similarly at the right side in the stomach and on the forehead the palm of the hand is seen. Meditation was really good. Something was moving at the upward direction in the stomach.

While chanting the Mruttunjaya Japa, a thought sprung in mind, “Sadguru should give me Darshan in the blue and green flame rising from the Agnihotra pot!” I sat with closed eyes. My eyes started rolling round and round. One hand started coming up from my “Bhroomadhya” (Christ Centre). I saw a bluish green flame in that hand!” Shri Sadguru has fulfilled my each and every desire. The flame of fire was moving upward very straight from my stomach. It reached to the head. Some circular movement was going up and like a curve from the stomach. Then I started reeling and rolling in the seating posture. I started laughing! Suddenly , I

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heard! Sadguru’s voice, “Buck up, good Suvarna! Shabbas! “There was some kind of aura around me. As if I was not sitting there, instead of me someone else was sitting over there! The perpendicular mark was drawn on his forehead, my eyes became half closed automatically!

I asked Shri Sadguru and informed him about my experiences during the last two three days. He said, “Experiences will become less now, and the ‘Ajapajap’1 will start very soon. You will listen the Japa. So continue your spiritual practices regularly.. Gradually you will like the seclusion more and more you will not like to mix with other people.

A great urge or attraction of Sadhana and Japa is constantly felt to my mind now. I have an intense desire to acquire all this as early as possible. I am excited, I am eager to know ‘the time’, ‘when’? I am already fifty-eight years old now. Naturally I feel a strong desire to know when I will be able to achieve my aim, my goal now!

I slept in the afternoon, A light was seen. Then I saw God Shree Vishnu very close to me., I saw that some one was standing with Sudarshan wheel in the hand. But I could not see the face clearly. I am experiencing such astonishing, amazing and unimagined experiences with the grace of my Sadguru only!

I woke up at 11p.m. to my surprise I saw Shri Sadguru sitting at my right side. I just looked at the left side. Some one has entering into the temple of God. When he came close I could see that he was a tiger! I said in my mind, “you have come ! please be seated! “The tiger also sat there ! In the meantime, I slept but woke up two three

1 Ajapajp- Japa where there is no any formal procedure. Rendering up all one’s respirations throughout the day in offering to God.

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times till 4 O’clock in the early morning. I saw that my Sadguru was seated at the right side and the tiger was sitting at the left side. Shree Gorakshanth was also present over there!

19.04.2004The experience of meditation was very good. To my surprise, Sadguru was really sitting in front of me. He said, “you felt a strong desire to meet us! Isn’t it? That is why we have come now” I felt like crying. Tears come in my eyes to his great love for me!

The effort of performing the Japa in a continuous manner is going on. I feel that not a single second should be wasted; But it does not happen like that. I started my spiritual practice at 3.30 p.m. in the afternoon. By concentrating my gaze at the fore part of the nose (Nasikagra) I sat chanting the Japa till Five O’clock . Two open eyes and the bright light of a shape was seen coming from the Bhroomadhya.

I could not feel like opening the closed eyes. I felt like continuing the Japa in the same position. Not the slightest restless movement and happened.

Again I Performed Sadhana after the Agnihotra- It was performed excellently well. The concentration of the gaze at the point between two eyebrows (Bhroomadhya) was successful like fixing the magnet. I sat for half an hour. I did not feel like getting up. But I did not know whether I should sit for a long time or not. So, I got up. In the meditation God Vitthal (Vithu Maulee) was seen and deep in my heart adorned with ornaments and in the standing position, keeping both hands on the waist!

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I was in deep sleep at night. Suddenly I felt that something was being stuffed in the chest, stomach and ears! ‘I fasten the glands in the body,” said Sadguru.

After reciting the Mantra’ at the dawn, I sat for the meditation., Someone’s voice was heard, “Look within!” Cloud like clusters were seen in the upper stomach above the navel. Someone was standing in them. Then a palm of the hand came up in a vertical manner from the eyebrows. A flame emerged out of the palm. And then a flash of light had spread over the eyes from the Bhroomadhya.

A movement was felt in the vertebra of the waist. A lotus was seen emerging up and blooming from the vertebra of the waist. The rainbow went on spreading from both sides of the lotus. It reached upto the neck from both sides. As a result the rainbow changed into a circle from the waist to the neck!

From the Bhroomadhya someone was seen carrying a basket on the head with little God Krishna inside. Then I saw Krishna walking. He walked towards me and putting his hands around my neck embraced me. His cheeks touched my cheeks.

The auspicious Kalash (water vessel) was seen in the Bhroomadhya. The sight of someone pouring something white into the Kalash was seen.

“Suvarna, the Kalash (Water vessel) of your mind has become empty because all opposites (doubts) were removed and thrown out. We are giving you our grace from our Kalasha into your empty Kalasha.”

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With Bhasrika and Jalandar Bhanda our face and seating posture becomes still (stable) and firm. The more it becomes stable your power of bearing the divine splendour increases.

Sadguru said, “Forgive those with all your heart whom you remember since your childhood. Forgive your own previous personality.

If a wicked person comes in front of you, forgive him also! Pray to God, “O God, give your love to all. Forgive them. Show mercy to them. Let all impressions (Sanskars) of lives go away (get destroyed) due to that!”

My Sadguru felt very happy as he heard about my experiences during the last two days. He laughed cheerfully with all his heart!

Pray to God that, “I will live without any expectations, Do not run behind experiences. Behave nicely, properly with others. Forgive them. You have to do all this for your own liberation. and to avoid the rounds of life and death. Forgive your own personality right from your childhood. You are not the previous Suvarna now!”

Go to your flat and perform the Mruttunjaya Japa Swahakar for Ajay and Sou. Anushka one hundred eight times. Let Sou. Suvarna. Start the Swahakar first. He gave a promise that if I go there, He will also remain present personally over there!”

21.04.2004

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While performing the Sadhana at the early morning, something like the sky was around me in the entire room. Ocean like waves were rising in that.

After performing the Mruttunjaya Japa, meditation becomes excellently well. “He was pouring something from the Kalasha (water vessel) in the Bhroomadhya and I was receiving it in the palms of my hand”. This vision was seen. A cavern (hollow) was seen in the stomach! Shri. Sadguru is seated in the Padmasana posture right from the first day.

A bright shining divine and golden “Kalash” was seen in his hands.

Palms of two hands came upward from the vertebra of the waist and reached upto my ears.

Today again God Balkrishna came close to me. By putting his hand around my neck he lovingly touched his cheek to my cheek! The muscles of stomach are stretched up.

Something like a fountain rose from the vertebra in the waist!

Palms of two beautiful hands came up from two eyebrows. Another palm of the hand rose from the ‘Bhroomoodhya’. It was so soft, so tender that it was like the third eye of Lord Shankar! Sadguru said, “That is the Third Eye (Divya – Chakshu). The moment it opens your further path will be more easy.

When I closed my eyes, Gods and Goddess were seen holding something in their hands.

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Something moves upwards towards the left and right and reaches upto the head from the vertebra of the waist.

My face became very hot. Since yesterday something like the thick pipe that looks like the tail of a Mongoose was coming out from the stomach near the navel. Eyes become half closed during the last two to three days.

22.04.2004Today is Akshaya – Trutiya – Sadguru directed myself and Sou Anushka to perform the Swahakar of Mruttunjaya Japa 108 times. If I go there, he himself would accompany me!” said he! so, I perform my Japa in that house and came back.

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“Should I Call you Sagun or Nirgun?”23.04.2004I performed Sadhana at the dawn, I felt a little progress in it. The chest became straight like the bow after the Mruttunjaya Japa, my mind became very calm after that!

I saw a vision in which Sadguru was rubbing and crushing the palms of my hands with the sole of his feet! When I asked the explanation, he replied, “Everything is being wiped out and erased out on your hands.!”

Sadguru’s Param Sadguru Shri Gajanan Maharaj, Shri Samarth Swamy and my Sadguru Shri Swamy Mohan Jadhav, all are ‘One’! There is not the slightest difference. All Gods have appeared before you and gave ‘Darshan’s your experiences are very good. A rapid progress has occurred within one month only !”

When the flower of your Sadhana (spiritual practice) blooms, its fragrance will reach to all automatically. Samarth Swamy and Goddess Jagadamba are one! You have got the Darshan of Gods. But real God is very different! You will certainly reach upto him! You will definitely reach to the Saguna Nirguna1

You are going to attain all this within a very short period. You will understand what is the ‘Swasmvedya Roop - The form in which one deserves to understand the self by his own self and self realisation! You have to make the search of the Eternal Truth’! You have to reach there (that is your destination). There is extreme joy after that! 1 Saguna- The deity with attributes and qualities Nirguna- The deity without attributes and qualities.

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You will experience the ripples of joy in the deep part of the lake of joy !!

“Anandache dohi anand tarang------

Shri Sadguru will leave tomorrow at the early morning for America. So, a kind of uneasy feeling started growing in my mind. When will be the next meeting? I constantly pray him, “Arrange our meeting as early as you can!’ Sadguru replied, “We are coming back to meet you again. We are constantly with you. There is not such a place in this universe where we do not exist. Similarly there is not such time when we are not present. Our nearness, Our existence is always very close to you. Your virtuous merit is really great! So, Ishwar (Paramatma) will definitely meet you”.

I became speechless when I heard his words, I thought, “How fortunate I am! I am going to attain this happiness, this joy, which is as valuable as the universe and which cannot be compared to anything in the world! Yes, with the Divine grace of my Sadguru and Param Sadguru, I am definitely going to get it!” I should get it”! This is the only prayer to God!

He said, “Survarna, all those whom you feel should get happiness and good welfare will certainly get that. They all will be blessed and achieve there well being!” I responded’ “I always feel that all should be blessed with happiness and joy. Let all human beings attain good in life.

I always pray to God, “keep all human beings happy .Do not give any one any misery in life!”

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I was sleeping in the afternoon. I felt the sensation of waves in the body and the aura spread all around the body. I saw the red light, some sound started vibrating in my right ear and I woke up!

The vibrations continued in the ear. It continued, it started resounding, ringing constantly, I opened my eyes and I felt aware of that sound. I was praying to Sadguru, “let me acquire all this before you leave! It appears that my affectionate Sadguru has fulfilled this intense desire of mine!

I phoned him at night. But, I forgot to inform him about this experience. My whole attention was directed to the last moment of his departure. My husband also spoke to him!

23.04.2004Shri Sadguru started leaving for America today at the early morning. I discussed every small detail and its meaning with him. I was rather tense with one thought. “What will happen after his departure? (How am I going to perform my Sadhana?)

After the Mruttunjaya Japa, I had a feeling that my spinal cord has become very straight and hard suddenly! Then I saw the lotus feet in my Rhuday! They were very soft and tender. Sadguru was trampling something with his feet inside my stomach. I felt the movement of golden snakes on my face (through eyes and nose). I performed Sadhana at 12P./M. in the afternoon. I felt the ringing of the divine sound in my ears. Later on it sounded like the buzzing of the bee (Bhramaree) Later on, it had also stopped. No sound was heard after that. But, my mouth became wide open! I started laughing!

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I slept in the afternoon. Within a short time; the entire room was flooded with bright light! I thought that I was walking in the air in a zigzag serpent like path that was going at the upward direction. The Sadhana was done at 4 a.m. I heard a sound for sometime in the ears. Then it stopped; My breath was very slow! There was no rhythm, no sound, nothing was felt!.

A deep feeling of silence, quietness was felt inside the mind! My palms were open at the upward direction on thighs. They were reversed and lifted up. They remained in that position quite sometime. Whether there was silence without sound or the sound of the buzzing coming in the ears!” I could not understand exactly what was happening at that time.

I was sitting on the swing at night. I sat there for sometime and came inside.

Now, I have developed a habit. While performing any action, I call my Sadguru! So, while sitting on the swing, I requested him to sit there! But, when I was getting up, I felt that Sadguru is still sitting there, and I have come out of his body! When I went for a walk in the evening, I felt like walking in the air.

25.04.2004I felt Naad1 and Bhramaree2 in the Sadhana at the dawn. I felt round circles near the nose and ears.

1 Naad- Divine Resource or sound2 Bharmaree- The Divine humming sound like the sound of the humming of the Black Bee.

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I lied dawn in Shavasana1 for ten minutes after the Sadhana at 8.30 A.M in the morning. There was splendour over the face. I thought that the whole body is made of splendour! Later on that splendour moved from the face to feet like the flash of lightening I felt a wheel like movement inside near the neck.

I slept in the afternoon. After some time the entire room was full of bright light with the dazzling splendour. Lord Shree Vishnu was standing in front of me! I felt extremely happy to see his unparalleled divine appearance!

Again I slept later on. But I was signing a song quite deep in side my mind. I was singing again and again with the emotion of love and devotion!

Jayajay Panchacharya Gurvrund Jayjay! Seva Karite nityachi tumachitutavaya bhavabandh!!

(Meaning- Victory to the five world spiritual teachers! Victory to the group of Five Gurus! I constantly serve you, worship you to break the knot, the bondage of worldly ties!!)

In our community there are five world spiritual teachers (Jagadgurns). They are the spiritual teachers of all world. While performing the worship of their sacred feet (Padyapooja), this song is sung. I did not remember this song since a long time for many years. But it had come forth in a spontaneous manner from my mind!

26.04.20041 Shavasna- Lie dawn like a corpse for the rest.

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I prayed Sadguru, “Inspire me to recite the name with love.” Goddess Shri Saraswatee and the peacock was seen!

27.04.2004I performed Sadhana after reciting the mantras at the dawn. I did the Sadhana again after reciting the Mruttunjaya Japa, a continuous bright light stared coming out of my eyes like the flash of lightening and the torrent of light! I slept in Shavasna at eight O’clock. My body was relaxed at that time. But the light continued to be there. It was seen like a flowing stream flowing over my body!

Something that looked very pure and white like milk was flowing from the top to the bottom. A divine sound of blowing the conch was heard in my ears as I slept in the afternoon!

29.04.2004Shri. Swamy Samarth was seen after the Mruttunjaya Japa. I felt that my body has become very strong, full of powerful strength! something was rising up like waves at the right side of the stomach. The circle in the vertebra of the waist was moving round. The light was coming out from eyes. A sharp sound (clang) similar to the sound of a coin after the fall came out from the throat. Although I slept in the afternoon the bright splendour was constantly seen in front of eyes!

30.04.2004Shree Swamy Samarth was seen directly after the Mruttunjaya Japa. My Entire body was felt very powerful. Something was rising upward like waves at the right side of the stomach. The circle (wheel) in the vertebra of the waist was constantly moving round

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and round. Very bright light was coming out from eyes. The whole body became splendours, bright! Aura of blue light was seen around the face. I felt that a tiger was sitting on the stomach. A lingam of Shiva (Shivling) was seen in front of eyes. Sadguru took the Shivling on his palm and held it before the middle point of my two eyebrows. Then he walked by holding my hand in his hand. I thought that my legs, hands and the whole body was burning slowly.

01.05.2004I saw the red rising sun in the Sadhana. I felt the touch of the drops of cold water falling on the left hand as I was relaxing in Shavasana.

02.05.2004I felt that someone was trying to wake me up by moving the hand. Goddess Saraswatee and a peacock were seen in the Sadhana.

05.05.2004Meditation happened very well. A Goddess was seen in the lotus instead of me at the place where I was sitting. Even in the deep core of my heart also, the Goddess sitting in the lotus was seen! Then she reached upto the head ! There was a flash of dazzling light in my eyes. I felt that my face was up! I saw the most respected spiritual master, Sadguru Shree Gajanan Maharaj reciting the Mruttunjaya Japa. When I slept in the afternoon, a huge land was seen at a long distance. Sadguru was taking me away by holding my hand!

06.05.2004

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The light was seen. Today I remembered Shri Sadguru very much. I always offer him auspicious offering of food. When I requested him to eat it, I always see that he eats it! I felt that I was falling down from the high place. The floor below my feet was moving with great speed. Shree Samarth Swamy was seen completely absorbed in me! A filthy substance was seen coming out from the navel.

I saw a very bright and powerful light before the eyes. My head and forehead also become very hot! There was a call from Sou. Priya. Sadguru informed her with great admiration about the excellent progress of my spiritual activity.

08.05.2004Sadhana was excellent! ‘Laya’ (rhythmic motion) was also good and proper! The big waves were rising very high in the heart! I felt that the roll of air was taking place in the stomach. The sensation was felt even at the upper part of the body. I felt that my face was like the tiger! An extremely subtle ‘Laya’ (rhythm) was felt!

A vision was seen in which Sadguru was pulling out something very thick from my waist. A small child of one month’s old was seen in the hands of Sadguru in the deep core of my mind!

10.05.2004Meditation was really good, very beautiful! Something was moving like a wheel in the vertebra of the waist. At the time of Mruttunjaya Japa Goddess Shree Jagdamba was standing with her eight hands open inside my heart! A wheel was moving round rapidly in the chest and the stomach.

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While chanting Mruttunjaya Japa a round splendours aura was seen around the Agnihotra vessel.

A tree was seen while performing the Sadhana. The notes of money were attached to the tree. Later on that tree was broken and fell dawn along with its trunk. The subtle rhythm was felt!

Two palms of my hands folded like a bowl and carrying the Kalash (Water Vessel) emerged from my forehead. The Kalash moved upto the head. My face and the Kalash were shining with bright splendour. I got the minute rhythm of ‘Laya’ today. I was feeling very happy.

One palm of hand makes some movement constantly in the stomach and the chest.

A torrent (flash) of light emerged from the inner side of the navel and spread in the vertebra and the back. Sadguru was seen sitting on my face. The laya was felt in the stomach, chest and on the neck later on!

11.05.2004Experience of meditation was wonderful today. It was like entering into a deep meditation (Samadhee)! A ray of light had fallen on the nostril from the middle point of my two eyebrows (Bhroomadhya). A vision was seen in which Sadguru was seated inside the heart, face and on the head! When he was seen seated inside the heart, there were anklets were such in his feet. I always perform mental worship as explained in Janaesharee. There is beautiful imagination such as , ‘ I adorn the fact of my Sadguru with the anklets of love!” Similarly, when I saw the anklets in the feet of my Sadguru. I felt

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that he had accepted mental worship! I felt delighted and tears came in my eyes! I thought that something very thick and black coloured was moving up from the vertebra of the waist! I also felt that one hand is being pushed in my throat. Shree Samarth Swamy was seen very close to me! My face became very hot. I saw the Agnitora vessel with fire in my stomach.

12.05.2004Meditation was really excellent! It was like deep devout Samadhee! The ray of light had fallen on my nostril from Bhroomadhya. The Scottice (the cavity formed by putting the hands side by side) of the palms of hands was around my nose. There was the aura of air around my entire body. Sadguru caught my hand. There was a hill of stones in front of us, it got divided! We went through it. Sadguru’s lotus feet adorned with diamonds and jewels were seen in front of my eyes!

14.05.2008Sadguru’s lotus feet were seen deep inside my heart! A round shape was seen in the Bhroomadhya. Lord Shri Datta Maharaj appeared in it!

15.05.2004I saw a vision in which there was something that was looking like a milky white (cascede of water, falling in stomach! A shivling (lingam of Shiva) was seen on the forehead later on!

16.05.2004When I slept in the afternoon, I felt the rhythmic sensation (Laya) from head to feet. I thought that there was a shield of air around me! “Laya” existed in the neck and the head too! Entire face was

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looking transparent. Circles were rising up from the chest like waves.

17.05.2004Sadhana was good. When eyes were closed, darkness was seen! I felt that I was going deep inside. Red sky and red sun was seen!

18.05.2004Two months are over today since I got his gracious blessings. I remember him very much continuously. The whole body became very light in the meditation.

20.05.2004Meditation was performed very well. I felt very good and peaceful also! I tried my best to recite the name in the maximum way. I slept in the afternoon. Some people were seen naked, without clothes!

21.05.2004Meditation was good. So many things were seen inside the body. But, I could not identify them. Body became very light. Cloud like clusters were seen in the stomach. Then they spread all over the body. A parrot coloured greenish bud was seen before eyes. One petal has bloomed from it. Something was falling like a drop in my mouth from that petal.

A Laya rhythmic movement was felt everywhere in legs, stomach, chest, neck, waist and the head of my body. I was without clothes!

I am the Sea

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22.05.2004My whole body became very light, the forehead was hot and the whole body was full of light in the meditation. My feet were looking blue. I saw a lotus flower around my face. I thought that I had melted in the air!

I slept in the afternoon. The chest was moving rhythmically up and dawn due to the breath. I felt that water is rolling and tossing. Gradually bottomless water was seen like the sea instead of Me!. I was not seen at all! There was sea in the place Me ! I felt that the sea-water was entering in my stomach and navel with great speed in the circular manner. A pure white coloured swan bird was seen near my left leg before the sight of water!

I used to feel the sensation of rolling and tossing of water and the ripples of water coming forth on the chest and stomach whenever I slept on my back during the last four days. But the sea was clearly seen today.

The lingering and fading sound (Laya) was felt on the face and forehead. Some kind of touch was felt on the sole of my feet. I felt that some one was rubbing my soles with hand. Feet were looking bright with light. I felt a sensation of an overflowing white liquid moving from legs to the head.

I made a phone call to Sadguru today morning. I felt very happy to listen to his words. He said, “We are coming to India again. We will give you what you desire at that time!”

I tried to capture the Laya while reciting the name yesterday.

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I am benefited by the grace Sadguru. It is my real fortune I got Sadguru with great fortune in my life! But I could get his company and his nearness just for two moths only! It is not possible to meet him frequently again and again. He lives very far in America. As a result, the chance of his meeting is very rare! I never had a desire to go abroad! But now if someone takes me to America. I am quite eager to go. I will get an opportunity to meet my Sadguru! Today my son Ajay was saying, “Since a long time, I had a feeling that we should plant a big tree in our factory and the temple of Shri Datta near the tree. There should be a cow also behind it.

24.05.2004 Meditation was very good at the dawn. My breath as quite slow. One palm is constantly seen doing some kind of action. The palm of the hand was seen in the Agnihotra pot. Then it reached upto my mouth. I could see something was being put inside my mouth. If I should remember ‘the name’ of the ‘Laya’, in stead of catching reached upto my mouth. I could see that something was being put inside my mouth. If I should remember the name on the ‘Laya’ instead of catching the ‘laya’ my mind becomes suddenly calm and quiet!

25.05.2004A light was seen in the stomach and the chest. Very soft and tender feet were seen in front of my eyes! Many questions always prop up in the mind. From where does the Laya come! why does it come? How does the light appear! How does Sadguru appear in the deep core of the heart?”

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I sat for the Sadhana at 11.30 A.M. in the afternoon. The Laya started in the monkey bone of the waist. Later on it went dawn suddenly. The waist and stomach was stirring round. ‘The Laya’ (rhythmic movement) started with full speed. Eyes started blinking.

I have read somewhere “One must feel the change everyday while performing the spiritual practice (Sadhana) and should develop more interest in it!” How fortunate I am to experience something new everyday in my Sadhana!!

26.05.2004Inspite of many efforts, e-mail was not properly going to Sadguru, Finally I spoke to him over the phone to narrate my experiences. He felt very happy to listen to all experiences. He said, “Write, make a note, make a record of your experiences. Do not talk to any one about them!

Your experiences are really divine! You are not aware but you are making a rapid progress. Keep your experiences confidential. Do not disclose them. Just as a mother applies a black spot on the cheek of a small child to protect him from the evil looks, you also keep your experiences in a concealed secretive manner! Otherwise a dissipation comes in the mind! Write all this you will be self made and self realised. You will get the heavenly abode permanently!” I asked him, “When you were seen in the deep core of my mind, you were seen carrying a small child close to you two three times! What does that mean? He replied, “We have kept you very close with great care. It is like keeping a small Survarna with great care in the cavity of palms full of flowers!” He also said’ “If we feel the need to contact you over the phone, we will call you on my own!

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Eat properly. Take care of your health! What a great concern he had for me! When I informed him about my son Ajay’s desire to build a temple, he said” Let Ajay build a temple in his heart first! Later on we will see about that!”.

I narrated all my experiences that I have experienced till today to my Sadguru. He also told me that those experiences were really divine, it is a sign of progress! He never told me, “Do this and do that!” I honestly feel that he is only performing everything staying in the deep centre of my heart!

My mediation was very good at the dawn. My mind was full of peace. I sat for the Sadhana from 11.30 to 12 a.m. in the morning. Suddenly the feeling of Laya was strongly felt dawn at the end of vertebra. My body started moving. Later on my hands started moving, thighs started moving up and dawn. I realised that the place where I was sitting has been occupied by Sadguru. I did not exist there at all! All Kriyas in the meditation were going on with great speed. So, although I was sitting there, I did feel any surprise about Shri Sadguru’s presence instead of me over there. There was no time to think about anything at all! Even if I sleep, “All Kriyas” used to start with great speed within one moment.

All ‘Kryas’ were going on rapidly, and yet, I did not feel surprised at all with the appearance of Shri. Sadguru in place of me! There was no time to think also! All these ‘Kriyas’ used to start within a moment even in the sleep also.

27.05.2004 I felt that the rhythmic motion (laya) like the pendulum in the stomach. Later on that ‘Laya’ slowly went up and reached upto the

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inciput of the head. The rhymic motion (laya) started very fiercely in the (mooladhar). My body started swinging and swaying with great speed. Shree Sadguru was sitting in place of me. My mind was quiet during the night. I felt like laughing. My mind was full of joy!

28.05.2004Meditation did not happen at all at the dawn. Shri Swamy Sarmarth was seen at the time of reciting the Mruttunjaya Japa. Then the Yadnyavedee (the holy pit of sacrifice) was seen! After performing the Sadhana, worship and the mental worship of Guru, I slept in Shavasana! There was a pendulum like motion from the left leg to the right leg in my feet. That sensation continued upto the head. There was a shower of flowers on my body right from legs to the head from above. The flowers were white and very delicate. When I got up, I felt like sitting quiet. The rhythmic motion (laya) was felt in the Mooladhar Chakra when I works or sat. A red ‘Tilak’ of kumkum was seen on the forehead of the Sadguru!

All these kriyas and experiences that I have experienced convinced me that they were performed by the Sadguru only. This exclusive presence was there and not mine. As I did not exist there at all! I am fully convinced and strong feel that all these divine experiences by are due to his were occurring by his power only.

While performing the ‘nam-smarah’ (reciting and remembering the name of God) since the last 12 to 13 years, I always used to experience something different. I used to feel the vibrations. Shreepad Shreevallabha was also seen! I did not understand anything. I did not know any Guru or an authoritative person in the field of spiritualism. I had no contact with such person in my life. I

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came across with many people who were great authorities and devotees of Shri Datta. I was either very small or young at that time, I used to worship since I was 12 to 13 years old! I performed all worships, observed vows, read religious books with real interest and love after marriage. I used to get completely absorbed in them. I had very good experiences at that time. I asked my doubts and demanded explanation about it to many Datta-Devotees. But the mystery was not solved. I consulted my family doctor, He told that I was in need of a proper spiritual master (Guru) who will guide me properly. I had a genuine liking and interest in reading the spiritual books for the past fifteen years. I read in these books that “The Guru has to accept the disciple on his own! Guru should walk on his own to the disciple!” while reading this statement, a thought emerged in my mind at that time “How can I be so fortunate to get the Guru in my life?” To my surprise, I met my Sadguru with sheer great fortune without the slight imagination! Really speaking, I never though that such wonderful event will happen in my life!

Now I am realising the existence of the ‘Laya’ at the various places in the body. I was sleeping in Shavasana. The soles of my legs were becoming large. I felt the ‘Laya’ on my chin, throat and lips. I felt that the thin curtain of the eyes was separating through the two eye-brows!

Till today “I used to say that, this is my house, my children my things etc. They belong to me” But now I feel, “O Ishwar, these are all yours! Sadgururaya, “ you are mine only !” (You are the only one who belongs to me)

I was sleeping on my back. Water was flowing like a stream. I could see that it was coming from a high level very slowly.

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Hundreds of lighted lamps were seen floating on the running water! Shri Dattatraya was sitting dawn. A mongoose was seen on the stomach. Sadguru was also seen sitting in the Padmasana posture. But his face was looking like Ganapatee!

29.05.2004The Sadhana could not happen properly. My body was aching. During the week if one day is spent without any feeling of proper ‘Laya’, I feel sad and depressed!

I was sleeping in Shavasana, “I received auspicious ‘Darshan’ of Ganapati. I performed Sadhana in the afternoon. My body was swinging round with great speed. When I slept in the ‘Shivasana’ my waist was lifted up!

30.05.2004At the time of Sadhana in the afternoon, my whole body started whirling round with speed. Something started moving up to the head from the Mool Chakra! A smile rose only my face. Later on my face was looking calm and quiet!

31.05.2004Meditation could not take place in the proper manner. I did my Sadhana in the afternoon. Body started moving very fast. Then it stopped. Afterwards it started swinging left and right. All movements stopped slowly later on. But the laya was very soft inside the body. It was like a snake was reeling inside the mind! Some reeling sense was felt in the middle point (central point) in sinciput of the head. When the subtle laya entered in the sinciput. It

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was felt in the central point of a needle in the Mool Chakra. It stayed there for a long time.

1.6.2004 I performed the Sadhana after the Mruttunjaya Japa at the dawn. I did the Sadhana in the afternoon from 3.30 P.M. to 4.30P.M. for an hour. The laya was felt in the sinciput of the head. Then the eye brows were lifted up high. The nostrils swelled! After a while the mouth was opened wide the tongue came out! It was like the Sinha mudra. Something was happening in the middle part of two eye brows! A heaviness was felt, truly speaking I was unable to understand what was happening! The ‘laya’ proceeded forward and entered into the Bhroomadhya.

I got up after one hour and slept in Shavasana. My waist was lifted up. The tip of the tongue was going inside the throat!

2.6.2004I received a mail from Shri Sadguru. He said, “Keep marching My Dear One! All These are a Gift of the ONE AND ONLY ALMIGHTY!

The Darshan that you have been longing is given to you every step of the way.

“THOU ART IN GOODS HANDS, LIGHT BEHIND LIGHT AHEAD, LIGHT EVERYWHERE”

“YET A LONG WAY AHEAD.” “MAY YOU ENVELOPE ALL THERE IS INCLUDING THE ‘DEV LOKA” AND ALL THAT THERE IS, THE SHABDA BRAHMA AND BE ONE

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WITH THE UNCONDITIONED STAINLESS EVER PRESENT, PARAM ‘SATYA’ THE EVER SELF EFFULGENT”

That is also our abode Infinite as it IS Where no dualities exist and all fuses as THE ONE AND ONLY AND NONE OTHER.

Just because I was busy and travelling, there is no need to be worried or moroses (sad).

HOW WONDERFUL THE JOURNEY IS! YET HAVE TO GO PAST ALL THIS STAY TUNED AND AT ONE MENT (ATONMENT) AND ALL WILL HAPPEN BY DIVINE GRACE WHICH IS WITH YOU

ALL GRACE ALL LOVE

Dada

After the Mruttunjaya Japa, I got the ‘Darshan’ of Ganapatee at the time of Sadhana. The mouth of the elephant’s trunk was seen.

I sat for Sadhana at 11.30. I got the laya on the forehead. I was constantly remembering the name on the laya of the forehead from the afternoon since yesterday! Again the fingers of both hands were stretched and got separated during the Sadhana! Nostrils were lifted up and became straight! Before that the whole body was moving round (swinging, whirling round) I had a realistic and direct sensation that Sadguru’s hand was moving on my head to bless me! When I phoned him,he said, We constantly think of you. We keep

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pondering on you!” While performing Sadhana, I get a new learning experience everyday!

One foot was seen trampling on something in my head during the Sadhana, I do not understand the depth and intensity of my progress in Sadhana! I am trying my best to do as much as possible! It happens with the grace and blessings of Sadguru only! When I swing or whirl round in Sadhana. I aways feel the presence of my Sadguru. I do not exist at all! As if he is performing everything and not me!!

03.06.2004Today I saw the small portion of the sea and Shri Swamy Vivekananda walking from the sea towards my direction. I am constantly trying to recite the name on the ‘Laya’ while working. Today I continuously see the Sadguru clad in a white dress and walking in the worship house (temple of God). I saw snakes reeling in front of me. I was also reeling like them.

04.06.2004I think that Sadguru is calling me with my name ‘Suvarna’ again and again! My mind becomes restless! In addition to that, Sadhana was also not properly performed. My husband came home with the mail in the evening. So, my mind became very cheerful! I felt encouraged to do Sadhana!

05.06.2004Four months are completed today since I started, ‘Agnihotra’. I became once more aware of Shri Sadguru’s entry from the door of the worship house (Temple of God). I was engrossed in the meditation at the dawn. Instead of Gods, I saw Shripad Shrivallabh

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clad in the saffron coloured cloth in the worship house. I felt that he was present there till the afternoon. I also felt that Shreepad Shree Vallabha was also sitting for the meditation instead of me. I felt his presence deep in my heart! A tender, soft and beautiful vertical palm was seen.

Shree Sadguru wrote in the e-mail, “Do your Sadhana continuously. You are achieving the stages of progress with the help of each and every experience!”

Today, I sat for the ‘Sadhana at 3.30 in the afternoon. There was no ‘Laya’ I have decided to observe everything that happens. I have also decided to not to get up! I sat for an hour. Two, three types of yogasanas were performed on their own. I recited the name as per my ability. Then I slept in Shavasana. Everything was calm and quiet. Shreepad Shreevallabha was sitting elevated. This act was going on for half an hour!

When there is no ‘Laya’, the breathing is very slow. I do not know what kind of stage is this! But, today I continuously felt the glorious presence of Shreepad Shreevallabha in the worship house during the whole day. similarly, he was seated in the inner core of my heart too!

06.06.2004Today my eyebrows were stretched up. My neck was also stretched up and lifted up! I phoned up Shree Sadguru and narrated everything on the phone.

He said, “You are on the right path. Your vision will be introvert. The preparation of opening the Janak chakshu (The

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inner eye) (The Third Eye) is going on. you are on the right path. Ajapajap will start! Do not feel disappointed when there is no ‘Laya’. Keep the constant remembrance and focus your attention. We are constantly staying very close to you. You will come to know about it very soon!”

My phone call got disconnected. So he mad a phone call again. He said, “We see the great celebration which started at the dawn and continued till 4 O’ Clock in the morning from here! You have a great desire, an urge to get the photograph. Therefore, you have got ‘The Darshan’ in the form of God Ganapati constantly recite the name of God. You will come to know our real nature very soon! You will come to know who I am!

07.06.2004Today Sadguru was seen in the meditation at the dawn. But he had three faces! As if he was the form of Shri Dattatrya. I did not get the laya. All was quiet. I performed the Namjap without any laya. Brahmmudra, Shambhavi Mudra, Sinha Mudra all happened except the ‘laya’. Suddenly, I had the auspicious darshan of Ganapati. He was seated on the wooden seat as he sits on the Ganesh Chathurthee Day!Mruttunjaya Swahakar was performed in the house of Sou. Anushka as per the instruction of Shri Dadashree. many people were paying their obeisance to the Sadguru. In the mean time, suddenly, a small child went crawling near him. The lifted him up and held him close to his heart. I though that Sadguru should assimilate me also at his feet!

I told him about it on the phone. He said, ‘Suvarna we have taken care of you like a small child!”

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The light came out from the eyes while performing Sadhana in the afternoon. Shambhavee Mudra, Brahma-Mudra and Sinha Mudra was done. Eyebrows were stretched upward. Nostrils were puffed up.

Fingers of my hands were tightened. Face became crooked. A round movement started in the waist. Later on, a peaceful feeling spread all over the body and mind for many hours!

When I was sitting for Sadhana, I felt different kinds of sensations and experiences. I was fully aware of them. But I did not know what was happening and its significance too!

09.06.2004

I felt very good in the mediation performed at the dawn. A new change is felt everyday. I was feeling very peaceful inwardly. A light was seen inside the sinciput of the head Red coloured light was absorbed in the deep core of my heart from the Agnihotra Vessel, Sadguru’s feet were seen on the forehead. The light was coming out from the space between the thumb and the index finger. The worship house was lightened with bright light.

After that I slept in Shavasana. My mind and body was full of peace! Sadguru was sitting in my Hruday comfortably and cheerfully and was trying to have a dialogue with me! “Let me get the knowledge of the subtle (sookshma) Mind!” This was my prayer to him. Today, my eyes were peaceful and looking different. His laughter, his talk is constantly heard deep in mind. Once my body was aching very badly because of Kriyas. I requested him to reduce that pain. After sometime I felt that someone was rubbing

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the soles of my feet and pressing the calves of my legs. Suddenly, the aching sensation became less! I feel really grateful to him. How tenderly he takes care of his disciple!

When I slept in Shavasana, I heard some strange sound (The Naad) in my right ear for 10-15 seconds. I had never heard such sound before. I could not understand its nature.

I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon. All types of Mudras and the yogic postures that I had never done before, happened automatically! My eyes were half-opened. Then a thin, transparent curtain came before the eyes. My eyes were opened but they were still. One hour was over! Yet, I could not feel like getting up.

But, later on I slept in Shavasana. My breath was very soft, very slow! Then the left eye was opened slowly and got closed also. Right-eye was opened on its own.

Both eyes were open after that. But I was not aware of it. Whole body was peaceful. I felt that Shreepad Shreevallabh was present instead of me. It was quite peaceful till the night. While doing the Sadhana, two palms of hands came before my eyes. I kept my forehead slowly on these palms. Then I touched my forehead on the earth by bending forward in the waist. Two hands were lifted up in the straight manner. The obeisance of two hands was done automatically!.

10.06.2004Shambhavee Mudra happened in the Sadhana performed at the dawn. A huge, soft and brightly shining stone like a hill and another small stone on the top of it was seen! The sun was also seen

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from those two stones. Sun was full of white light shining with splendour. I requested Shri Sadguru at the time of Sadhana. I said, “My son should remain represent while reciting the Mahamrutunjaya Japa and performing the Agnihotra”.

My son got up early. He did Swahakar by reciting the Mahamrutunjaya Japa in the afternoon once again. Shri Sadguru instructed us to do it together. We all felt very happy.

10.06.2004Mahamrutunjaya Japa and Sadhana was done at the dawn. Sou. Pushpa phoned up from Ichalkaranjee. She started Agnihotra from 22nd . Sou Anushka’s parents have also decided to do it. I prayed for them. Sadguru should bless. While doing Sadhana, Brahma Mudra and Shambhavi Mudra happened While Yogasanas also happened automatically. I am practicing yogasanas since the past twenty five years. But, such yogasanas had never happened before. I was really surprised to realise that these yogasanas were performed so neatly and she muscles were also stretched properly! I could perform by Kriya only.

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Divine Bandha and Mudra11.06.2004I did the Sadhana at the dawn. Now, everyday, I feel the presence of Shreepad. Shreevallabh instead of me; In the worship, of God also he is seen constantly!.

Shambhavi and Brahm mudra happened. Both hands were lifted up. I thought that I am becoming very tall. All vertebras from the waist to neck were pulled up very slowly.

I slept in Shavasna. Pranayam started. My body became still.

I sat for Sadhana in the afternoon. Five six days are over! Mudra, Bandha and Yogasanas happen on their own when I sit for Sadhana now a days.

The palms of two hands came close and then reversed! They went up on the forehead later on. Other yogasanas also happened. After that the facial gestures (expressions on the face) became very fierce (frightful), eyes were expanded, eyebrows were stretched up and the neck was slanting! Those expressions were similar to the expression in Bharat Natyam. Fierce look and glaring eyes! All neck- exercises were done, then two hands came in front of the face, the hand started moving on the face. Later on both hands started moving on the head, chest, stomach, back and waist, I felt that some one else is moving his hands on my body.

Eyes exercises were also done. Eyes are open but, they are still (stable), some kind of subtle movement was felt in the head.

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12.06.2004. Deep mediation happened after the Mruttunjaya –Japa. There was ‘Laya’ in the middle point between two eyes brows (Bhroomadhya) It existed yesterday also. A twisting sensation was felt in the Bhroomadhya’. The lingering slow motion (Laya) existed in the head behind the Bhroomadhya. Later on it existed in the left and right part of the head. Then it spreaded in the whole head! There was light. Just for a moment, Sadguru was seen holding a small child in his hands and playing with him. As the light was seen in the head, it was seen in the entire body also.

13.06.2004Mediation was really good at the dawn. After the Mruttunjaya –Japa I felt very peaceful. The light was spreading in the body. I thought that my face and head were like a round shaped bright light. I slept in the afternoon. I was standing and I felt that some one was pouring something on my head with the earthen pot in his hands. Then I felt the sensation of rain-drops falling over my body.

14.06.2004I was sleeping in Shvasana. I saw some one, wearing a white cloth and coming out from the worship house, when I saw that person I felt that some waves were coming out of his body and entering in my body.

15.06.2004Yogasanas and Bandha were performed automatically as I was doing Sadhana in the afternoon. Neck- exercises and eyes-

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exercises also happened. Bhasrika was performed suddenly with great speed for long time!

16.06.2004Today, I felt many strange movements in the head at the time of mediation. The numbness (ant like movement) was felt. The left side became loose (slack). The Himalayan Mountain was seen covered with snow. Then I felt that there was water in my head. After that, a Bunyan tree was seen ahead. It was very big, quite huge. Its descending shoots, took me inside by engulfing me completely.

Then I saw a lotus flower, fully bloomed inside the head. My palms were lifted up after that, they remained fixed the sides of ears and gradually moved on my eyes. The darkness was seen in front of my eyes. Then the hands came dawn. The eye brows were stretched up. The movements were constantly going on inside the head.

A few Bandhas and Mudras happened in the afternoon. Eyebrows were stretched up. Eyes were covered with palms automatically. Some light was seen. This process went on for one hour. Someone was standing with the earthen pot (kumbha) the head. Then he poured something from the pot on my head. When I slept in Shavasana, Shri Swaroopanda of Pavas was seen! A trunk of the tree in the shape of Ganapatee was seen over there. Then I saw another big Ganapatee in that trunk only. The movement continued in the head till the night!

17.06.2004

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A rocking (reeling) movement started constantly in the waist since the dawn. A movement was felt inside the head. Many things appeared before the eyes. But I could not understand them. I though that I am getting tremendous strength. I was becoming tall. Then I saw some light inside the head. Something was moving from the Central point of the head to its left and right side. Beautiful blue and pink colours were going up on the eyebrows. Later on, I was feeling very peaceful for a long time.

I received a mail from Shri Sadguru. How promptly he has answered all my questions!

Although I slept in the afternoon, the Kriya and Laya was going on. A pure snow white dazzling mountain was seen on the background of the beautiful; deep blue coloured sky.

I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon “Yogakriya” started. Neck exercises were also done. Eyes are fully covered with palms of two hands. Like the magnet the palms of hands are pulled towards eyes. The bright light was seen before the eyes. I was sitting in the cross legged position. When the eyes were covered by the palms, I touched my head to the earth very slowly. My hands remained on the floor. My neck and head was lifted up, eye –brows were stretched, Laya also started. It was like a horse that stand on his back legs and lifts his front legs.

Now-a-days my breath is slow, laya is less and the mind is full of concentration in Sadhana. But when I do the japa, this order gets disturbed.

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When I just sat in the afternoon, ‘the laya’ was felt. That laya slowly moved dawn from all vertebras and reached upto the Mooladhar Chakra.

Yoga kriya continued when I sat for meditation I thought that my head was being stretched at a very high level. I laughed heartily from the stomach.

18.06.2004Three months are over today since Sadguru conferred his grace on me and made me his disciple. How speedily three months have flown. I never realised, how it all happened so fast! I remember him so much!

It is really impossible to describe about all these experiences and the uncomparable joy that I received from them is really valuable and unforgettable! It cannot be attained without the grace and blessing of Sadguru!

I immediately went into deep meditation at the dawn. A light was seen coming out from the head. Then I saw water like part of the pond or river. God Shrirkrishna was standing very near to that river playing on his flute!! The pot of sacrifice and the fire was seen on the forehead.

I also felt that lines of alphabets were going inside from the left ear. It was not clearly understand. ‘The Laya’ emerged from ‘the Brahmarandhra1 of the head and very slowly reached to the Muladhar chakra (Root centre).

1 Brahamudra- The sperture, supposed to be at crown of the head, through which the soul takes its flight on the death.

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Later on dark blue sky was seen. ‘The BrahmNaad1 (the universe) was also seen in it! That sight was so beautiful that it cannot be described in words!

My whole body was looking bright when I slept in Shavasana, I attained genuine satisfaction when Sadguru was seen sitting in front of me while performing his mental worship.

At the time of Sadhana, one hand, and the eye was constantly showing something on the forehead. I am sleeping on my back. Suddenly I saw that I was going up in the air. A circle of light was seen near the eye!

Shri Sadguru wrote in his email, (Steady Mudras and Asana (Posture) are taking place naturally, easily ! Now I feel that it was quite true! When the Mudra is done properly that my vision is being pulled forcibly on the Nasagra (The forepoint of the nose) like a magnet You are at the most important stage now. You will listen the “Pranav”2 from the Bhroomadhya. ‘The Bhroomadhaya window will open up now !!” said he.

I advised four to five people to do the Agnihotra. Then suddenly I realised that I am a disciple of my Sadguru. So it is essential to take his permission.

He quickly said, “Absolutely yes! Tell all of them. Even if you command in whispering tone to the flowing wind or the walls that are in front of you to perform ‘Agnihotra’, the wind and the walls will also give your message to all!!)

1 Brahmand- The egg of Bramha) The Universe The fourteen words! (Large, numerous etc) 2 Pranav- The mystrical name of the HIndu triad- The Syllable ‘OM’

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I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon. Yogic kriyas happened. They were very difficult! They happened in the position in which my palms were kept on eyes. The palms were pulled dawn and reached upto the chin. The laya went slowly to the mooladhar chakra. I slept in the afternoon. I felt very clearly that some one has taken my hand in his hand. I am quite sure that it was the hand of my Sadguru only!

I always pray to Sadguru, “Please open my Jnyanchakshu (Third eye) as early as possible.

At present the Yogic kriya and Mudra kriya through which I am going through have made me realise one important truth. To accomplish (to attain) all these things it is necessary to proceed with a specific method and the disciplined Kriya method only! But, if my Sadguru will confer (grant) his grace on me, nothing is impossible!

Now, a strong urge, an intense desire spings in my mind, “Let me experience the divine love and devotion to God as early as possible. Let me get the attainment of ‘self happiness !! (Self joy)”

Today the memory of Shri Sadguru is constantly entering in my mind. When I sleep at night, he sits in my inner mind comfortably and chats with me everyday. I also tell him everything that I experience in the Sadhana everyday.

This was a regular activity. But, he was not seen today. I felt like crying. Today is 18th June 2004. This is the most auspicious and valuable day of my life because he had conferred his grace, initiation on me on this day! But today, he was not seen. So, I cried

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and slept just like that. After a while I realised that the Japa has started in the upper part of the navel.

I informed my niece Mrs. Priya to purchase a white dress for Sadguru and present it to him on my behalf. It was my intense desire to present the white dress to him.

It was 10.30 a.m. in the morning. The phone rang! “Suvarana, I am Mohan Jadhav speaking I felt extremely happy to hear his voice. The time was 1 a.m. (midnight) in America.

He was saying, “Yesterday you were remembering us very much. So, we called up on phone. I was utterly surprised to hear his words. I was in great agony with his memory last night. How did he came to know about it in America. This thought came in my mind. It was quite clear now.

I was fully convinced that my Sadguru is really paying a great attention to me!

He answered, “Our blessings are always there for you. You are going to attain Ishwar! Be happy !!

He had said before, “We also think and ponder on you!We are constantly present with you”.

He answered, “Our blessings are always there for you. You are going to attain Ishwar! Be happy !!

Then he said, “Now the Ajapajay will start.” I asked him, “How can I recognise it?”

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He replied, “The name will start from the navel, it will go up and come back on the navel again. It will happen on its own automatically (spontaneously)!”

I told him Laya and Yogkriyas have stopped now.

He said, “ You have reached to this point with tremendous speed within one week only. Light is seen at a far distance. You have to reach upto that light. Your progress is very rapid. Otherwise, it takes a lot of time to make such progress.”

I asked him, I saw Shreepad Shree Vallabh six years before. But so many years have gone in between to get an opportunity to meet you.

He expressed happily, “When the mothers child gets lost and meets her again after many years her joy knows no bounds! Similarly, We have got our lost Suvarna back to us again! So we are feeling very happy. We are constantly with you. We take your hand in our hand and talk to you sitting close to you.

I said, “You are giving me everything. But bless me more to get the knowledge as early as possible. Nothing is impossible for you. You are Parabrahma (The Supreme Power).

He answered, “Our blessings are always there for you. You are going to attain Ishwar! Be happy !!

He was talking for a long time in a calm voice. It is really a delightful experience to listen to him. He takes a lot of trouble for

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me. Since the moment he has been seated gloriously in the deep core of my heart, I always see him instead of me when I start the Sadhana. When I see the depth and intensity of his love expressed so sincerely, I feel cheep in my mind “Do I really deserve for all this?”

I have done nothing for him. Sometimes my mind feels depressed if Sadhana is not performed properly. Distractions, doubts start coming in my mind. Truly speaking, I have to do nothing! The moment I sit on the Asana (Seat), he does everything. He said, “Do not forget Ishwar, that great supreme power. Ishwar!

He must have recognised the distractions and doubts of my mind. Therefore he must have talked like this.

“O Sadgururaya, you are the Iswhar and you are the Parabhahma also! How can I forget you? You are going to strengthen my devotion, my belief”.

My daughter Mrs. Rashmi had come and went back. Her brother-in-law has come from America. I have sent the dress for Sadguru with him. It was my genuine desire. The provision to send the dress was done very well without any efforts.

I slept very happily at the night.

The spiritual power of the Guru was very active during the whole night. I felt a sensation of a knot of the muscles near the navel. The spikes of light were seen entering into the stomach. Those spikes of light were seen entering into the head also from the left side. I was wide awake at night. I am quite sure that Shri Sadguru had only

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sent the spikes of light in my body! Something was constantly going on into the head also during that night.

20.06.2004I sat on the chair to drink tea on the next morning at 6 a.m. To my surprise, I saw my Sadguru and not me over there! He was wearing the white dress that I had sent for him. I felt very happy to see that he had accepted my present with all his heart! Before the dress has reached to him, he was siting there with that dress on!

Two days are over. When I sit for the Sadhana or sleep, I start shivering with cold. Once I felt that someone was pouring cold water on my body from the feet to the head when I slept.

While performing the Sadahana in the afternoon, The Laya of the navel started and later on the Kriya also started. The laya emerged in the naval and moved to the right side and finally reached back to the vertebra of the back.

At that time the right side of the waist was moving round. something was moving round and round for a long time. Eyes were closed by the palms. Then those palms moved on the head and came down on the face, chin and neck- the fingers of two hands became still on the navel. Those fingers were also moving round slowly. I was reeling. Later on I slept in Shavashan. When after half an hour, I thought that I was floating in the air!

I sat with closed eyes after performing Agnihotra in the evening. The laya started in the naval and moved to the right side. It went to the vertebra of the back. Then it moved forward to the left side and came forward close to the naval again. That means one full circle

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of the laya was formed around the waist. To my surprise, all these kriyas were done by the Sadguru. I was not seen at that place!!

21.06.2004Today, after reciting the Mantra at the down, I sat with closed eyes. The ‘Laya’ rose from the navel and entered into the vertebra through the stomach. Then it moved from the vertebra to the head and finally moved to naval. Then I saw Shri Sadguru surrounded, with the golden and dazzling aura and he was laughing. The palms of two hands came upon each other automatically. While working also, I felt the ‘Laya’ in the body.

As I was getting up in the early morning. I saw the dazzling light coming from the forehead.

The muscles of the stomach were pulled inside during the afternoon Sadhana. Then the two palms of both hands were touching two sides. I was being lifted up in the crossed legged position. My thighs were also lifted up! This has happened at least 10 to 15 times.

22.06.2004The Japa was emerging from the navel and going up. But it as not properly happening. After doing Sadhana for one hour in the afternoon. I slept in Shavasana But the kriyas were going on. The muscles of the face were moving, with great speed in a powerful manner. I slept at night. But I was unable to sleep. I felt the touch of my Sadguru’s hand to my fingers.

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23.06.2004Today Ajapajap started at the dawn. I could not understand it properly. So I phoned Shri. Sadguru. He said, “It is quite correct, Do only that which happens automatically. Do not go after the kriyas and the Sidhhis (Spritual powers). Keep your attention constantly on the Naad.”

This ‘Japa’ goes into the Astral Body (Sound) (Sookshma deha) and then enters into the causal body (karan Deha)

In this manner the Japa will start on three levels such as Gross body (sthool deha), Astral Body (Sooksham deha) and the causal body (Karan deha) you have reached to this stage very fast. and very early.

Now your talk will be less and less and a kind of stillness, silence will come. You do not try to do anything on your own. Everything will happen automatically on its own.”

He had reminded me, “Do not forget God Ishwar” I asked him, “ Is there anything wrong on my part” Did I make a mistake”

He replied, “No you are not mistaken. Be grateful to that power which is working so actively. You have endowed with that power which had been worshipped and spiritually practised by Shri.Swamy Samarth himself! So be humble and grateful to that great power.)

I bowed to the photo of Shree Samarth Swamy by touching my head at his feet with closed eyes at 9 a.m. in the morning as usual. His photo looked tremulous.

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Shri Shakambaree Devi was seen holding the pot in one hand and the religious book in another hand.

He admitted, “Yes we constantly work. We are always active. We never sleep!”

Really speaking, I am really puzzled with the thought, “How does this happen? Once this dormant power is awakened with the grace of Sadguru, it proves its tremendous, and outstanding and great strength. My Sadguru constantly watches me and motivates me and makes me perform all Kriyas from distance of thousand miles staying in America! He is very kind, very affectionate. When I remembered him very much on 18th June, he immediately called me on phone on 19th June I am so much obliged by him. I really do not understand what should I do for such Sadguru [How can I express my feelings of gratitude and devotion to him?]

I always realize that he is very careful when he makes me

perform the Yoga-Kriyas.

26/6/2004

I felt the laya in the Bhroomadhya since the dawn today,

Muscles were twisted. The icon of Balkrishna was in hands of

Sadguru. He gave it in my hands. I was trying to do ‘Ajapajap’. I

slept at night. Suddenly, a sharp sound similar to the sharp piercing

of an arrow came in the right ear.

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25/6/2004

The muscles in the Bhroomadhya were twisted since the early

morning. Then the laya started at the back of the head. Then it came

forward and spread all over in head. My head was seen in a broken

condition. Sadguru’s hand was moving in the head, there was a

covering of an aura around me.

I slept in the afternoon. We came to stay in our bungalow by

keeping our family gods in my son Ajay’s flat, But I have seen that

all those goods were present in our bungalow! A young girl 18 to

20 years was talking to me something related to spiritual subject.

I sat for the Sadhana. A very subtle laya like the point of

needle came in the Bhroomadya. Then it went at the back of the

head and descended in the vertebra and reached to the Mooladhar

Chakra. This happened four times.

26/6/2004

Today I sat for the Sadhana at the dawn. The laya started in

eyes went into the Bhroomadhya, and from there into the head

back. Then it descended into the spinal cord and reached to the

Mooladhar Chakra. It again moved up in to the head from the front

side. In this manner the layas started one after the other.

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I felt a vacuum or something like that in the chest. Then I

heard the voice “Look Inside”! I saw in the heart and felt the

vacuum. Then the laya moved upto the Brahmrandhra. I thought

that I was becoming very tall. I felt that all the muscles in the

Brahmrandhra were being pulled up very high. An aura was seen

around the whole body. It was an extremely wonderful experience.

Sadguru’s hand was seen ‘There was something in the palm’.

I observed it very closely. It was very bright, divine and sparkling

too! It was surrounded by a circular ring of bright-light also. I saw

that Sadguru was putting it inside my heart! I am trying to express

this experience in words as per my ability. But this experience

cannot be expressed or described in the form of words!

I received mail from Sadguru. It was full of details. He wrote

“We are constantly with you. You are not alone”.

I informed him that I became strong physically & mentally

too!”

On this point he wrote “You will not understand what is

going on at this stage. You continue your spiritual practice

(Sadhana) with great endeavour (Strong determination).

Ishwar is taking great care of you. Even you would not have

taken your own care so much! The Ishwar that has held your

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hand is fully aware of your care and protection. You are subject

to him (you are completely under his care / totally dependent on

him now).”

“Do not pay more attention to what you have seen

(experienced) and which ‘Kriyas’ happened. That will create

obstacles in your spiritual progress. You have to go away to

reach the final destination. Paaramatma the ultimate supreme

power himself is directly guiding you by showing the way. Do

not feel scared or afraid of him. Do not feel worried!”

I was really scared two three times as I was undergoing the

strange experiences. He came to know about it so, he wrote like

that.

He continued further, “You are making efforts with all your

heart”.

You are craving, you have an intense longing to get that!

Spiritual perfection, knowledge.

As your concentration increases in meditation your

Bhroomadhya will be opened. You will listen the divine sound

of Omkar the Pranav! This Omkar Naad (Sound) is constantly

going on in the cosmos (Universe)! There is still time. Have

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patience stable and firm perseverance (Dharana) is very

essential. You are certainly trading on that path. So, do not feel

anxious. Do not wait with an expecting attitude such as “When

and how it will happen! Have faith on Ishwar you have got a

tremendous blessings of God. You have already received His

grace. So, everything will happen”

“Where will you be on the Guru-Pournima day?” (I wanted to

know about the name of the place) I asked him.

He replied, “Where do you want us to be present? We will

be there where you want us to present!”

“The descending shoots of the Bunyan tree has enwrapped

(enveloped) you. It means you have got the ‘Prasad – the

propitiousness means you are accomplished with his grace”

Darshan of Shri Swamy Samartha.

This was his quick reply! A spontaneous to my E-Mail!

27/06/2004

The Laya started in the Bhroomadhya at the dawn. I felt that I

am becoming very tall! Later on the Laya started descending dawn

with power from Bhroomadhya. It moved towards the nose a little.

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Later on I slept in Shavasana. I felt the touch of Sadguru to my

hand. When I opened my eyes I thought that I was fully engrossed

in deep Samadhee.

Samadhee – Deep and devout meditation abstracted or absorbed

state of mind, confining mind of contemplation.

Again I felt that I am growing taller and taller in the

afternoon. A very subtle and minute Laya was felt in the

‘Bhroomadhya’. The same subtle Laya existed in the

‘Bhroomadhya’ also. It was moving round in a very natural manner

in ‘Brahmarandhra’.

I realized that Shri Swamy Samarth was sitting for Sadhana. I

saw water in my head, Sadguru came out from that water. When I

slept in Shavasana, I saw Shri Swamy Samarth. He said, “You did

not recognize me!!”

28/06/2004

I sat for the meditation at the dawn. There was complete

concentration of the mind. My breath was very soft, very slow.

Round circles emerged from the Brahmarandhra, they were

engulfing my whole body. So, a kind of round area was formed

around my body, I felt that.

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Samadhee – Deep and devout meditation abstracted or absorbed

state of mind, confining mind of contemplation.

I was rising high

The circle of the sinciput became more enlarged. Then I felt

that one eye was opened. The Laya was going from all sides into

the circular part of sinciput of the head. Water was felt like the

whirlpool in between. The soft circles of light were slowly moving

into the whole body from left to right rising from the forehead.

Then I saw the blue light. When I slept in Shavasana, the whole

body was full of light. Suddenly profuse blue light was seen. I was

feeling extremely good and peaceful.

‘The Laya’ started from the Bhroomadhya during the Sadhana

in the afternoon. It started near the navel at the same time! It moved

from right to left and from left to right forming a circle around the

navel. The laya was pulled down from the Bhroomadhya. Then it

descended with force in Mool Chakra and entered into the back

vertebra, from there into the Brahmarandhra and back to Mool

Chakra again. That movement was going on for many times . A

great power has gathered into muscles during this entire process!!

29/6/2004

Meditation (Dhyan) was properly done at the dawn. I did not

understand anything. But suddenly I woke up at 6 A.M. and

realized that it was late for Agnihotra.

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I had sent a dress and letter to Shri Sadguru. His mail of

acknowledgement arrived. Gurupournima day was to be celebrated

on third July. So, it was my keen desire that he should receive it

before that! Sou. Rashmee also came and her brother-in-law made

all the provision, I never thought that all this would happen in such

smooth and easy manner.

He wrote in the Email, Namskar, Suvarna.

“We will wear the dress on Guru-Pournima Day!”

I felt so happy to read this!

He also said, “We have kept that dress before our Sadguru

with the prayer!”

He said further in the email.

There is no member any less important of his flock. Each

member in the flock is unique and very important.

So my dear Suvarna, how happy we are that now you are

constantly in divine sight and constantly being watched, you

will always march forward to the DESTINATION. There is

behind you and ahead of you. Very rare is such a GRACE! As a

mother will put at stake and sacrifice all for the love of her

child, so it is!

Divine love is infinitely greater than that! How abundantly

you are receiving That!

You are never insignificant to the contrary you are very

dear and all significant. You do know that don’t you?

All love! All Grace !

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Dada

My heart moved with deep emotion as I read all this. How

tenderly my most respected kind Sadguru takes care of the feelings

of my mind!

During the Sadhana there was a twist to the muscles near the

navel. Then it went to the Mool Chakra and moved up to the

Brahmrandhra. Then a round twist took place in the vertebra of the

waist from the Mooladhar Chakra. The Laya continued

automatically on its own later on also when? I Sat for the Sadhana.

I thought that someone was entering in my body and I woke up!

30/06/2004

Meditation happened very well at the dawn. Breath was very

slow and soft. After performing the Mruttunjaya Japa, there was a

sudden sprain in the waist! I was unable to get up. I remembered

Sadguru first! I requested him. ‘How can I Perform Sadhana in the

afternoon now? Do not allow any break in the Sadhana!”

I tried to get up. “Make me proper, neat please” uttering these

words. I got up. To my surprise, suddenly the yogasanas that were

useful for the waist started happening immediately! I was really

surprised! It was unbelievable! How does this happen so

spontaneously, so automatically on its own?

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01/07/2004

Due to the sprain in the waist I performed the chanting of

early morning mantras and Mrutunjaya Japa sitting on the chair. I

did the Sadhana while sleeping on the back. The Laya started very

gently from the navel going up and coming back to the navel again.

Then the laya started, becoming more Sookshma. Suddenly I felt

that something was moving out from the body. Sadguru was seen in

the sleeping condition. He said, “We have removed everything that

remained in the body!”

The flame was looking blue in the Agnihotra pot till the end

of Agnihotra and Mrutunjjaya Japa. When I concentrate on Naad

(Sound) ‘the Laya’ is felt on all chakras in the body. Tomorrow is

Guru – Pournima! Shri Sadguru satisfied me today by granting the

grace of his divine appearance. I felt ‘Naad’ constantly while

working during the entire day. While walking also, I feel the Naad

in the body.

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Shri Sadguru’s Splendorous shield of protection02/07/2004

Today is Guru Pournima, I recited the Shloka,

“Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo Maheshwara I

Gurur Sakashat Parabrahma Tasmei Shri Gyruve Namah II and

paid my obeisance and told him that I saw him wearing the dress

that I had sent him on the next day at 6 O’clock in the morning. I

had sent the dress by Rushmee on Friday evening and saw him in

the dress at 6 AM. I felt very happy. My mind was satisfied.

I asked him, “What will you give me as a Blessing?”

He replied, “You are definitely going to attain your desire

goal, “The attainment of that eternal truth – the Ishwar!

I requested him, “My Sadhana should be continued

continuously. My faith and devotion to you should be always

firm!” He said, “We have given you so much grace that you

entire body is completely engnlfed (encompassed) with the aura

of the splendorous brightness! You are totally protected.

We are protecting you. You are not getting the awareness of

it yet! You will realize it later on. Our Guru disciple relationship

exists since many births. It will continue in the same manner. You

are very dear to us!”

Then I asked him, “Do you think that my preparation has been

completed upto the mark so that I will be able to look within the

mind?

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He replied, “When you will listen the inner said loudly,

then you will peep inside your inner mind!”

I said to him, “I can feel the Laya on all the Chakras of the

body. But I do not know even the names of those ‘Chakras’!

He said, “It you have no information or knowledge of it, it

makes no difference you are becoming aware of all the charges

that are taking place! You are certainly reaching to those places

quite correctly! Give our graciousness to all of your relatives

and friends who are performing Agnihotra,”

I thought, “My Sadguru is really powering all his grace on

me! I am only at the receiving end! I have done nothing for him!”

When I sat for Sadhana in the afternoon, I was in deep

meditation within twenty minutes only. I felt vacuum in the whole

chest. Some light was seen before the eyes.

I sat for one hour and thirty minutes. I felt the ‘Naad’ (Sound)

after that. I am all alone during the whole day and Shri Sadguru

accompanies me. Truly speaking, I am not alone now. My Sagduru

is constantly present with me. I talk to him on phone. I send him the

mail. I converse with him during the whole day and yet, my mind is

yearning for him. My mind feels anxious for him more and more.

3/7/2004

I performed Sadhana in a sleeping position after the

Mrutunjaya Japa. There is no improvement in my waist yet. But, I

could perform Sadhana “very well in a sleeping position” I was

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shivering with cold. A rigorous attempt is going on to do the

Ajapjap Japa. In the afternoon, I was again in deep meditation after

the Sadhana. My forehead became hot I felt vacuum inside the

chest.

4/7/2004

Today I thought that my mind was going somewhere inside,

after a white, the Laya started in both lungs. The Subhe Laya came

in the centre part and went into the Mooladhar Chakra. This action

was repeated four to five times. My muscles were twisted. Then the

laya moved up and went behind the neck. I was feeling very calm. I

slept in Shavasana. The whole body became relaxed. The blue flash

of light was coming in the chest. I felt it was raining. The rain was

falling on a small plant. I also got feel of the rain. As if, it was

falling on my body too.

Are there “Chakras” near the lungs also. I have no knowledge about the “Chakras” and their places in the body. I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon. The process of starting the laya in lungs and going up in the Brahmarandhra and coming back to the lungs happened for many times very quietly. Then the laya started from the navel and reached upto the Brahmarandhra, the Naad (sound) also started in the ear at that time. Then the muscles were twisted. I was feeling heavy in the Bhroomadhya Mind was fully on concentration. Thoughts also did not rise in the mind. The experience of this Sadhana was quite different.

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5/7/2004 Meditation was excellent at the dawn. I sat for Sadhana in the

afternoon. The subtle and soft laya was felt on the diaphragm in the stomach over the navel. Japa was also going on. The soft sound (Naad) was going on in the ears. My mind was very peaceful.

6/7/2004 Mind became very peaceful on the Laya that started on the

stomach. The laya was going to the Mooldhar (Roof Chakra). I think that al these “Layas” go into the Mooldhara and up into the Brahmarandhra also! I ado not know the names of all the Chakras. So I do not know what should I write about them. The mind is always at peace after the Sadhana. Although I concentrate more on the Naad during the whole day, yet something goes wrong with the Laya, I felt the sensation of the movement of ants in the sinciput in the head. I do not know what is the reason of this. I cannot think of anything.

I have sent a mail to Sadguru. I am having a different sensation, different experience in the Sadhana and the meditation. I am feeling very curious to know what will happen further. Everyday I am learning ‘something new’. The power of Sadguru’s grace is so abundant that even if I complete Sadhana and sit quiet, the laya continues in the body. I feel quite certain that there is definitely a systematic science all these things and these experiences in Sadhana. I feel like bowing my head to the great power of grace of Shri Sadguru with respect. I feel with all my heart to surrender at his feet and feel grateful to him.

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7/7/2004 I slept in Shavasana after the mediation at the dawn. Shri

Sadguru’s touch was felt to my hand. I thought that someone was pressing the soles of my feet also. I felt that something was moving up in my legs. The bright light was seen before eyes. After getting up, I started working.But ‘the Naad was constantly there while working also’! Many things were flashing before eyes. But I, could not understand anything about their nature.

I felt some kind of Laya on my neck for sometime during the Sadhana. Then the laya started at Bhroomadhya and in the stomach also at the same time. Then the meditation started. A strange but a very minute laya was felt on the diaphragm over the navel. I slept in Shavashana after that. A bright light was flashing on my whole body. Sadguru’s eyes were sparkling and flashing like green diamonds. I felt a sprain in my waist and a hot sensation also over there. As I got up, the ‘Naad’ sound started., I felt it directly. This ‘Naad’ was going on since the morning naturally and automatically on its own !

8/7/2004 I sat with closed eyes after the Mruttunjaya Japa. Sadguru was

seen playing the Shahanae (Sanai) the musical instrument. A flash of light had fallen on my body.

When I was reciting the Japa concentrating my mind on the Naad there was a strong feeling in the mind that I am reciting the Japa for my Sadguru! I feel that Sadguru is before me and I am doing my ‘Japa’ sitting in front of him. I am feeling a genuine love for this act of performing the Japa. A soft smile is rising on my face !!

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9/7/2004 When I sleep, I enter into a deep sleep. When I sat to perform

Sadhana in the afternoon, I felt a very minute, very subtle ‘laya’ in the Broohmadhya. It went upto the Mooldhar Chakra. When I slept in the afternoon, I dreamt that someone accompanied me in the dream. That person said, “Let us go to a particular place. People come together and do the Japa together. We will also join them.” But, I refused to go. I am constantly becoming aware about someone who is searching for a temple. We were doing the Japa. Then I suddenly heard Shri Sadguru’s voice, “The sound of folding, the paper is constantly coming. It should be stopped. Stop it! I did not understand the meaning of these words. But now I feel that my mind is full of concentration at the time of Sadhana.

10/7/2004 When I sat for the Sadhana, I felt the laya in the vaccum of

the uvula in my throat, After sometime Sadguru closed my mouth and my jaw with his hands very tight. So the laya became quite subtle, very minute.

My daughter Sou. Rashmee was doing Shavasana. She saw a vision in which I was blessing her. She saw me like the blue light. She gave this information on the phone. She does not know anything about my initiation or other things in the spiritual field. Similarly, Ajay also felt that the temple of God Shri Datta should be built. He also did not know about my experiences. Later on, I informed him about it because I wanted to send an email to Sadguru. That too, with the permission of Shri Sadguru. I informed him all about it.

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I performed Sadhana after the Agnihotra in the evening, I felt the Laya in the throat first! Then it went upto the Mooladhar Chakra. This happened three to four times. Then the laya was also felt in the in the Bhroomadhya. That also went upto the Mooladhar Chakra.

11/7/2004 I sat for meditation at the dawn, the clusters of clouds were

seen in the Brahmarandhra. A flame of light was seen in the cavity of two hands coming out of the head. Sadguru says, “Suvarna, We brought this flame of light very carefully holding it in our hands for you upto here!”

After that I saw Sant Tukaram singing the Abhang (devotional songs) playing the “Chipalya” in his hands on my forehead. Then Sadguru was seen pouring something in my forehead from the cavity from the cavity of his hands. A roll of paper was also seen. It was opened up. Something was written inside. Sadguru was saying, “Suvarna take this knowledge !!”. The sight was seen in which the paper was being unfolded longer and longer.

When I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon. The Laya started in the Bhroomadhya first. Then it started in the Brahmarandhra. This was going on for one hour.

12/7/2004 My mind became stable with great concentration of the lotus.

feet of Shri Sadguru at the Navel Centre in the meditation performed at the dawn.

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I was paying obeisance to Shree Swamy, standing before his photo in the morning. The Photo was seen flooded with light.

I sat for Sadhana in the afternoon. The Laya was received on the Broohmadhya. “The Laya” was moving in a circular manner in the line of eyes. Then I felt the pressure in the Bhroomadhya and it went upto the Mooladhara. This happened many times. The bright light spread before my eys three to four times. The pressure was reaching upto the Mooladhar Chakra.

13/7/2004 I sat for meditation at the dawn. The experience of meditation

was excellent on each Chakra. A soft, gentle and minute Laya along with the Naad was felt on each Chakra!. When I slept in Shavasana, the veins of the palm and the palm were looking bluish.

I felt the Laya and the Naad on Four Chakras in the afternoon. The Naad was felt more on the Vishuddhi Chakra. The pressure came in Bhroomadhya. But the Laya did start anywhere. Only the half portion of Laya was felt.

Today I received Sadguru’s mail.

He wrote, “Now the meditation will be more subtle, more minute”. One feels the experience. (One becomes aware of it). The ability, the aptitude to recognize it grows, increases, develops more. Take the delight, the joy of that experience. (Experience that happiness more!).”

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14/7/2004 Today I felt the Laya and Naad on each Chakra at the dawn.

But the Laya in the Bhroomadhya was not properly adjusted. Since the meditative experience (Dhyan) had formed on each Chakra, it required a lot of time meditation. But I had to wait as I wanted to perform Agnihotra also.

15/7/2004 Today also “Dhyan” was properly done on each and every

Chakra like the day before. I slept in the afternoon. I felt the cold touch of someone on my nose. Suddenly peace was felt in the entire body. A smiling face of a person with a fair complexion was seen. Some unusual feeling was felt in the body. Sou. Rashmee, Little Ruhan and Ajay were in the house. I was in sleep. I was trying to get up. But my eyes were heavy. Ajay was trying to wake me up by holding my hand. But someone was pulling me in the right side with tremendous force which was four times more powerful than the force of Ajay. I saw the dream again. A temple was looking in front of me. The pink and reddish coloured light was seen. I became aware that I was sleeping and laughing also.

18/7/2004 I slept in Shavasana after the meditation. In this position, one

can observe the changes in the body quite peacefully and easily. Changes are realized. Today I could feel that Sadguru was giving something from the cavity of his hands in the Sahastrar Chakra. A light was seen before the eyes. A flame of light was seen in the Bhroomadhya. It was moving like a pendulum in the beginning and then it become still.

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19/7/2004 I sat for the meditation in the afternoon. The Laya and Naad

was received from the Mooladhar Chakra (Root Chakra) and three Chakras ahead. But it did not came up on the later chakras. So I sat quietly concentrating on the Naad. I could not understand anything. Later on I felt a very subtle laga and Naad on the Hruday Chakra (Heart Chakra, Anahat Chakra). It remained for a long time over there! The obeisance happens automatically and excellently after the meditation. The hands were folded together on the forehead first and then on the heart automatically everyday. This happened three times. Once, the obeisance was done by bending forward and touching the head to the ground also.

20/7/2004 A good meditation on the Hruday Chakra! I saw the foot of

Sadguru in my heart first! Then his hand. Then he clutched someone’s hand with that hand. After that water was seen in the Hruday. Two joined fingers were seen. A lotus was seen in those fingers. Then I saw Shri Sadguru in my Hruday!

I used to see Sadguru deep in my heart seated in the cross – legged posture; But I never used to see his face. Today I saw him with his face. When I slept in Shavasana after the meditation, I saw Bhagwan Shreekrishna adorned with the garland of colourful flowers and playing on the flute.

The Laya came on the Hruday Chakra in the afternoon during the Sadhana. It went quite deep inside. I thought that it was going inside the back too! Then the muscles of the Bhroomadhya were pulled dawn and the laya started. I felt it behind the head too! In the beginning it was not properly adjusted. But then I thought that

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Shree Swami Samarth is sitting for the Sadhana. After that the laya started quickly.

21/7/2004 The meditation happened on the Hruday Chakra at the dawn.

The laya went behind in the vertebra. When everything was over, I slept in Shavasana. Suddenly something entered in the ear making the sound of an arrow thrown from the bow quite speedily.

22/7/2004 The meditation happened on the Hruday Chakra at the dawn.

The laya went behind in the vertebra. The soft and minute laya existed there. When I slept in Shavasana, something entered in the body very quickly. First at the right side and then at the left side. Sadguru was seen seated close to me. The sensation of cold moved from legs to upper part of the body and spread everywhere. Today the ‘Ajapajap’ was very well.

23/7/2004 I received Sadguru’s mail. He wrote that he felt very happy to read my mail. I wrote to him, “Everything is going on quite smooth, neat and well! Sadhana is also happening in a systematic manner on its own. He says, “An excellent guidance is being given to you by the Parabrahma! If you have any difficulty, do ask about it!” I informed him “The subtle laya and Naad is going on from the Mooladhar Chakra (Root Centre) to the Sahastrar Chakra (The Crown Centre) and again back to the Mooladhar Chakra!” He reacted spontaneously on this “Wonderful! Really Excellent! This is the most important and a very big jump! Instead of going on the next step, you have taken a high jump! Like your

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firm faith, keep your discipline also equally well! You have the grace of Ishwar and blessings too!”

Today I felt the laya on the Hruday Chakra for sometime at the dawn. Then it was quite peaceful inside the heart. I thought a sensation of vacuum in the heart. It was a strange sensation! Then the laya started in the Sahastrar Chakra.

As I slept in Shavasana, the light was seen in the head and in the heart. Water was seen in the head. Something that looked quite high was seen coming out of water.

In the afternoon, the laya started in the Heart centre. Then it started in the Sahastrar Centre. Afterwards the laya became very subtle and minute like the point of the needle, I thought that it was going very deep inside through it.

Then that laya went upto the Mooladhar Chakra. Then it started moving up and dawn to Mooladhar again. After I slept in Shavasana, my hands were folded automatically to render the obeisance. Then they have taken the position of giving blessings. For one moment, I felt that someone had entered inside the body.

24/7/2004 The laya started in the Sahastrar at the dawn today. Later on I

asked Shri Sadguru; “The laya goes up from the navel Chakra to the Brahmrandhra. But it does not descend or move downward. A slight spasm and ant like feeling (numbness) is also felt in the head. He said, “ It means your body is not prepared yet to receive the grace ! It happens like that, You are progressing very fast. You are quite ahead! Do you think that the Parabrahma is not

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aware of your trouble? The Graciousness is performing the act of power in the body continuously. Just do the Japa constantly”.

I told him, “I feel the laya is entering into Sahastrar by becoming very subtle”. He replied, “Exactly this is expected to happen. You have to go up. You have reach at the higher level. You have to go more deep!”

I told him about my daughter Ms. Rashmi’s experience. Shavasana after performing the Yogasana. She saw that I was blessing her. She had also seen that my body was looking as light. He remarked after listening this, “Is it? You have really become splendorous now! A splendorous aura is dazzling around you!”

I questioned him, “Why did she see all this?”

He exclaimed, “It is for you! To make you aware of your present state, that Parabrahma, the Great Spiritual Supreme power has done all this!”

I enquired “Have I reach the first step at least?”

He said, “Do not worry about the stage where you have reached so far When the proper time comes you will know about it on its own! While performing the Ajapjap the Naad (divine sound) will grow louder and louder. The laya or Ajapjap will not happen. It comes automatically with blessings, and by he grace of Parabrahma.”

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28/7/2004 I paid a visit to Ms. Rashmee’s residence and stayed for the

two to three days. But the Sadhana (spiritual practice) could not be done satisfactorily.

Today the laya was going on in the Hruday Chakra first and later on both laya and Naad remained in the Bhroomadhya. A feeling of vaccum was felt in the chest later on! Then again the subtle laya and the Naad (divine sound) was felt in the heart. My body has become transparent except the sensation of the laya and the Naad. The lotus feet were seen in the heart. Again in the noon the laya started in Heart Centre and later on in the Bhroomadhya. The laya went back into the head from Bhroomadhya and finally it went into Mooladhara Chakra (Root Centre)

29/7/2004 The laya started in the Heart Centre and later on in the Third

Eye (Ajna – Chakra) I felt a queer sensation today. The laya stopped. Then everything was quiet inside. The light was shining like moths before eyes. I was becoming tall. My hands became straight. The whole body came dawn in a loose manner. My face, shoulders, neck and legs become loose. The laya was going on in the Third Eye Centre. But it was felt quite different today. The Naad was subtle. Then I slept in Shavasana. The light was seen at that time also! Sadguru was seen standing at the door of the room of prayer. I requested him to come inside. When all was over, my mind and body became quite still and quiet.

30/7/2004 The Laya and Naad was received on the throat like the

previous day, for the first time at the dawn. Then it remained in the

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Crown Chakra (Sahastrar Chakra). Sou. Ranee received the mail from Sadguru. He says in it, “Suvarna does not feel that we should stay away at a long distance in other city.” But she is constantly under the care and protection of our eyes!

‘The Laya” was really very good in the Crown Chakra (Sahastrar Chakra). When it became Sookshama, it entered into the root centre (Mooladhar Chakra).

31/7/2004 I felt that I was becoming taller and taller at the dawn. The

Laya started in the Brahmarandhra. But the Laya and Naad was quite different. I sat straight as the laya started becoming more minute and subtle. Otherwise I bend dawn everyday. A kind of tension was felt on the neck while catching the laya in Sadhana. Since the last three to four days my neck and shoulders were aching. So I prayed to Sadguru about it.

Today there was no trouble anywhere in the body as the tension used to get released immediately when the laya was becoming more subtle (minute). The laya went into the Mooladhar Chakra after becoming subtle. Then the entire body started whirling round. A different sensation was felt in the heart and the head. The Laya went into the Bhroomadhya. The light and the clusters of splendor were seen before the eyes.

As I sat for the meditation, there was no sign of laya anywhere. But one hand was pointing at the Bhroomadhya. I felt the laya over there. I felt extremely good. Today also Sadguru was seen standing in the door of the house of prayer. I requested him to come inside and rendered my obeisance to him.

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How tenderly Sadguru takes care of me! My neck and shoulders aching due to the trouble of spondelitis. I was really worried about the spiritual practice and meditation. As a result, I started to pray Sadguru at the beginning of the Sadhana. Since then, my shoulders used to become relaxed. When the laya became subtle (minute). So, there was no trouble in the Sadhana.

The laya and Naad lasted for a long time in the Bhroomadhya in the afternoon. Thus the laya went into Mooladhar Chakra. Later on nothing remained including the Naad and the laya. I came dawn practically swaying dawn the body. There was complete silence inside!

1/8/2004 There was tremendous tension in the Bhroomadya at the dawn

part. Then that tension reached to the Mooladhar. The laya was not felt. But I was feeling the Naad intermittently. I was becoming taller and taller and coming dawn again. The sensation of swaying the body was felt. But the whole body was becoming relaxed also afterthat. The tension existed from the Sahastrar Chakra (The Crown Chakra) to the Mooladhar (The Root Chakra). A feeling of powerful strength emerged in the body. Bhroomadhya and eyes were stretched up and extended. ‘The Laya’ and Naad remained for half an hour. the swaying movement of the body was going for a long time. I did not understand what kind of state was that.

2/8/2004 The laya was like a pendulum on the forehead at the early

morning. Then there was pressure in the Bhroomadhya. That pressure existed dawn upto the Mooladhar Chakra. There was

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tremendous pressure on the muscles of stomach. I rose high from the Mooladhar Chakra to Brahmarandhra whirling round and round. The muscles of the stomach were pulled back. The circle was moving from left to right around the spinal cord (vertebra). The pressure came from Mooladhar Chakra to the Brahmarandhra. It went dawn again.

God ShivShankar1 was seen seated before me. Someone else

was seating before me again, but this time, the flashes of blue light were seen coming forward from the back of his head.

When all the household work was over, I stood before the photograph of Shree Swamy at 11 A.M. The Naad and the laya started. But the laya was not on the Navel Centre. It continued at the right side instead. What is this? (I am really puzzled!) It continued for a long time.

The Sadhana started within a minute in the afternoon. The laya movement was so intense in the Bhroomadhya that the entire part of the body also started moving quite speedily. Its pressure has gone dawn upto the Mooladhar Chakra. There was pressure in the stomach also. The laya was going up upto the Brahmarandhra and coming dawn back again in the spinal cord. I was rising high with the swaying movement (circular movement of the body) and coming dawn again!

The red coloured flower shrub (Jaswandee) Hibiscus Rosa Chinesis was seen in the Bhroomadhya.

1 Shiv Shankar – Hindu concept of trinity in Hindu Religion. Three deities are performing their roles. Brahma – the Creator, Vishnu – the Organiser, Mahesh (Shiv) – Laya , absorption, distribution, end

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3/8/2004 I received the same experience like the day before atn the

early morning. I sat for Sadhana in the afternoon. The moment I closed my eyes the circular laya started in the head. Then it entered into the Bhroomadhya. The pressure was slowly reaching upto Mooladhar and entering into it. It was quite peaceful in the deep core of the mind. There was no Laya or Naad. The slow pressure existed on the muscles of the stomach and the waist. Tremendous energy and the strength was felt.

I was rising higher and higher! I felt the pressure in the spinal cord above the Mooladhar Chakra. Sometime it was reaching to the head. I saw someone clad in the saffron coloured cloth on the head. I rendered my obeisance with respect in mind. Afterwards, a Kalasha (Water vessel) with mango leaves and coconut on the top of the Kalasha were seen. The Kalash moved slowly and reached up in the Bhroomadhya. I thought that the Bhromadhya will be opened up now. Let us see what happens further! The power of grace coming from the Sadguru, is felt quite different today. This process continued for two hours. My hands were in the vertical position on the knees and fingers in the pinch like position. The light was seen in the head and the forehead. The seating posture was absolutely firm and stable. There was no tension and stress in any part of the body.

4/8/2004 At the dawn, the laya and naad existed in the Heart Centre

(Hruday Chakra). It went back in the vertebra. In the afternoon it moved from the Mooladhar Chara and entered into Brahmarandhra. From their it came dawn into Mooladhar Chakra back again. This process was going on for one hour.

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6/8/2004 The laya started into the Hruday Chakra at the dawn and then

went into the spinal cord. From Bhroomadhya it went into the head. When it became very minute (subtle) it was entering into the Mooladhar Chakra.

There was a mail from Sadguru the day before. I informed him, “A change is felt while meditating.”

He says, “The change is natural”. I had pain in the neck. When the laya will become minute (subtle) then only this used to happen. “It is not necessary to give too much stress. If you get the laya it becomes minute automatically. He said further, “Take joy in the experience without giving any stress or feeling of the tension. Your body, mind and ‘Antahkaran’ should be so well prepared that your experiences of the power of grace should be balanced by the body and mind! We are very happy to realise that the state of preparing the “Kshetra” (pure body and mind) is going on”.

I informed him “I feel that I becoming very tall, rising at a higher level while performing Sadhana.”

He says, “You feel that you are rising high, you are floating in the air, Not only this but you will see the sights and people that you have never seen before! But remember, you have to go further beyond this!”

He has advised me to take care of mu health, food and rest very affectionately.

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I informed him that the stress (tension) goes into the Mooladhar Chakra. Eyes and Eyebrows get stretched very high!

He says upon this, “It is very good. When you will overcross the important stage, all will be settled and will be stable.”

I informed that my daughter Ms. Rashmee’s son Ruhan recites Mrutyunjaya Japa regularly everyday.

He says “Ruhan is a different type of child. Completely different. He is the treasure of Joy! We feel very much delighted, he does the Japa”.

I sat for the Sadhana in the afternoon. The laya started moving slowly, gently from the Mooladhar Chakra and from the back upto the Brahmarandhra, then it moved dawn from front side to the Mooladhar Chakra. After sometime, the laya become smaller and smaller and become very minute (subtle) as it reached upto the “Hruday Chakra (Heart Chakra). This process was repeated three to four times. This was like drawing a small circle within the circles of the main circle. The entire action was really excellent, very peaceful and with full concentration.

7/8/2004 The laya went into the Brahmarandhra first at the dawn. Then

it entered immediately into the Sahastrar Chakra (The Crown Chakra). It was quite soft and gentle over there. It remained there for a long time. Then became more and more minute and stopped. I felt that I was going deep inside the mind. This process continued for forty five minutes. Later on the laya reached the Mooladhara

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very slowly. When it entered in to the Mooladhara, I realised that my Asana (seating posture) and mind absolutely firm, stable! I felt very happy. I really wonder about this experience. How does this happen so wonderfully! It is all due to the graceful power of my Sadguru!!

The same process was repeated in the Sadhana as it happened the day before. But it was not properly adjusted.

Sadguru was seen seated close to me again at the night. I felt happy. Previously he was always seen there almost everyday. But he is not seen now a days. The Ajapajap is also continuously happening. As a result, I used to converse with him mentally. But this act has been reduced now. If I talk more now a days I do not feel like talking it to anybody cannot bear it for long.

While walking, if the soles of my feet touches the ground, a kind of Naad comes in the ear!

8/8/2004 In the beginning the circular laya was felt at the dawn in the

head. Then I felt the vacuum in the chest. The laya started but the ‘Naad’ became more and more minute.

It is said in Marathi that, “In the Hruday Chakra Atmaram1

Dolat Asto. It means, the soul reels (moves from side to side) in the Heart Centre.

1 Atmaram – the soul, the vivifying or the sentient principle.

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The laya was felt reeling very minutely in the heart! Sadguru was seen in the seating posture and with the face of God Ganapatee2.

I received the laya on the Ajna Chakra (Third Eye Perception Centre) in the afternoon. But I felt that it was quite minute and gentle in the meditation as it continues in the Heart Centre. Then it went more deep back into the head. Then it entered into Mooladhara. It started again in the Ajna Chakra. Almost for one hour this process was going on.

I was sitting on the chair at 9 PM at night. The Laya and the Naad both were constantly going on at the right side of the chest.

It started moving up gradually. After sometime, each part of the body upto shoulder started moving forward and backward.

9/8/2004 The In the meditation, the concentration was on the Hruday

Chakra (Heart Centre) at the dawn. Later on there was no laya or naad inside. It was full of peace. And yet something was going on inside. The light was seen. Sadguru was seen seated on the elephant! Shree Swami Samarth was seen in the meditative posture fully absorbed in meditation. The laya existed in the Hruday Chakra. There was a pulling sensation in the Anahat Chakra (Third Eye, Christ Centre). I had a feeling of tremendous strength and energy in the body. The light was seen in the head also!

2 Ganapatee – The Deity Ganesh (Hindu Deity) The son of Shiv and Parvati. He is the deity of Wisdom, remover of difficulties, obstacles. The leader of the classes of the subordinate gods regarded as Shiva’s attendants.

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I was feeling something unusual, something different! It cannot be expressed in words. I slept I Shavasana posture. I felt my body was full of bright light. I was constantly realizing the active movement of the Grace of Sadguru in the whole body. Sadguru was seen covered with bright light.

10/8/2004 Everything was quiet after the movement of the Laya in the

Hruday Chakra at dawn. I could not understand what to do when everything was quiet. But I am sure that something must be there something that is constantly present although I did not know its real nature. As I slept in Shavasana, the light was seen all over the body.

I was reciting the Japa and concentrating on the Naad! It so happened, that I realized the existence of Layas in all Chakras starting from Mooladhar and reaching to the Bramhandra. I sat with open eyes in that state only!

In the afternoon also, I was in deep meditation. ‘The Laya started not only on the Hruday Chakra (Heart Centre) but in the heart itself. The muscles of the heart were moving rhythmically and quietly. Later on, the laya became more minute and went into the back.

11/8/2004 The laya existed at the left side in the Heart in the afternoon.

It went back by becoming more minute. During the Sadhana I felt that Sadguru was talking to me. He was saying “Suvarna, Dada speaking here ……!”

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When I talk to him, I address him as ‘Dada’. As I sat in the relaxed and comfortable state in the evening, the laya was going on continuously in the Ajna Chakra (Third Eye – Christ Centre)

12/8/2004 Today, the laya existed at the left side in the heart at the dawn.

After sometime there was complete silence in the chest. I felt that experience of peace. But my attention was drawn to the Ajna Chakra. I felt the stretching sensation of muscles in the chin.

The Laya started in Mooladhar suddenly, moved sppedily in the back and reached to the Brahmarandhra with speed! Then it moved down to the face. The dazzling bright light was descending dawn from the head, on the face and in front of my eyes too! As it started descending from the face and eyes, I felt I was going very deep, more deep inside! As usual, I did not understand what it was! My mind was fully engrossed! But my husband called me to do the Agnihotra! I could not respond him back neither did I utter a word of response nor make an end of meditation also! There was bright light in front of my eyes. The eyes were stretched inside.

Then I slept in Shavasana. The bright light moved in the body three times.

The laya started in the heart during the afternoon. Then it started moving from Mooladhar Chakra upto the Brahmarandhra!

13/8/2004 The laya existed in the heart at the dawn. The meditation was

also deep. The laya was moving from Mooladhar Chakra to the Brahmarandhra. The light was seen in the Mooladhar.

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My inward vision became more intense and more deep. There was no Laya or the Naad.

Will my Kundalinee be awakened? The house of prayer (the temple of God) was fully lighted with bright light when I slept in the Shavasana!!

In the afternoon the laya started in the Hridya Chakra (the Heart Centre), then moved at the left side in the heart and started coming and going back from the Mooladhar Chakra upto the Brahmarandhra!

As I laid in Shavasana, Sadguru was standing near the sea shore. The waves were slowly touching his feet. I was also standing near him. I felt that I should also touch his feet by becoming a wave. I felt very happy that I met my Sadguru! I was lying in Shavasana for a long time today in a very quiet manner! My breathing was going on very slow. I was unable to get up.

15/8/2004Same experience was repeated like the day before at the

dawn. Then I felt that the muscles of the stomach are being stretched. The laya went into the monkeybone of the waist and become minute. The laya was going in zigzag manner in the beginning. Later on it went on becoming more minute.

There was laya in the waist in the afternoon also. Today the Naad was constantly going on.

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The Meeting by the power of Yoga16/8/2004

Email Sadguru said, “Do you realize now how important is

dharana is? I am glad that it has started happening!

“Today the Laya was at the Sahastrar Chakra. It was Sukshma (minute, subtle). After that I don’t feel that Laya also!”

“Very good!” said he.

I said, “I feel that I am going very deep inside and feel calm quiet. Both these experiences I enjoyed”

He added. “Stay steady on the Naad. So that you may not wonder and wander.” There is a lot to go . No distractions. Not necessary to be too eager.”

“It is my dream to visit and meet you by yogbal” (the strength of yoga)

“Isn’t this a nice dream?”, I questioned him

“That is a wonderful dream. Yet it is a dream. Why go after the dream when it is possible in real?

Here I would like to tell you a story.

He narrated the following story to me,

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“Having received the entire knowledge, all spiritual powers (Siddhis) and techniques (Vidyas) after observing the rigourous ascetism, Shri Goraknath reached to Girnar mountain after wandering at many places for the holy and auspicious Darshan of Lord (Bhagvan) Shri Dattatrya. He was extremely happy to see Shri Bhagvan Dattatrya. Bhagvan Dattatrya was also overjoyed to see Gorakshnath. Gorakshnath had attained an excellent accomplishment of all the greatest skills of knowledge and the highest powerful strength.

They both asked each other about their well beings (state of good conditions). Shri Dattatrya asked Gorakshnath the reason, the intention about his visit to him. Gorakshnath replied, “Everything is fine. Excellent ! There is not such place or time which is incomprehensible to me. (not knowledgeable to me.) I wander everywhere. Since I have got the highest accomplishment of an vision, nothing can be hidden from the vision of eyes. I will find you out from any where, from any place where you stay. Bhagvan Dattatrya asked him, “Oh, Is it?”. Gorakshnath said proudly, “Oh yes! Certainly ! You can be invisible, you can disappear if you want!” As a result the game of ‘Hide and Seek’ started between the two yogees!

Bhagwan Dattatrya immediately vanished (disappeared) ! Gorakshnath closed his eyes. He searched all worlds such as Talatal, Rasatal, Nakshatra Lok, Gandharva Lok, all Solar , all these worlds (Tribhuvanas). He searched in all ten directions also to find Dattatrya. But he could not be able to search and find out Shri Dattatrya anywhere. Gorakshnath was spell bound! He was extremely surprised! He came back to his original state of mind ad started thinking deeply. Ultimately he

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prayed to Lord Dattatrya accepting his defeat. To his surprise, Bhagwan Shri Datatrya immediately manifested (appeared) before him. Gorakshnath heart moved to see him. He asked Bhagvan Shri Dattatrya with an intense humiliating tone

“Oh God! (Prabhu), How did that place become (remain) incomprehensible to my knowledge? Will you please kindly explain the reason of this and satisfy my curiosity?” Gorakshnath surrendered himself to the auspicious lotus feet of Lord Dattatrya and Bhagvan Dattatrya also conferred all this Grace on Gorakshnath by making him enriched fully accomplished with all faculties, (Vidyas) of knowledge!.

Bhagvan Dattatrya said, “My dear son, (My dear child) We were nowhere else except in your heart! We were very pesent in the deep core of your mind. (Antaryamee) We are constantly very close to you. Your internal soul of the mind and ourself are not different from each other! In fact, we both are ‘One’ closely united with each other! There is absolutely unity, absoluteness (Adwait) between us.

My dear child Suvarna, “This is the only Greatest Truth (Param Satya) There is nothing else! No other thing!

Let ir be anything. But, one thing is quite true. Your intense desire and the great yearning, the urge of mind is absolutely true! When the proper time comes, it will be fulfilled by His Grace Alone, by the blessings of God only! It is not necessary to see the dreams for that!

“Your intese desire to meet us on the strength of Yoga is really very good!”

Dada

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---------------------------Thank you so much.

Namaskar

Suvarna

I received Sadguru’s mail today. It gave me a real satisfaction.

He said, “Now the laya and Naad should start when you want! Keep your mind steady and still. Constantly recite the Mahamantra you have received. Remember that, “that Mantra is the Tarak – Brahma! (The Supreme spiritual power of Protection). The Mantra will be more clear and significant gradually in the Hruday Chakra. Your ‘Dharna1’ is growing. I am really happy! Keep your attention on the Naad continuously, so that your mind will not wander!

17/8/2004 As the laya became minute (Sookshma) it entered into the

back. Everything was quiet. Then the laya started between the two ribs and everything became calm and quiet over there too!

18/8/2004

I phoned up Sadguru today. When I said, “Hello ….” (he immediately replied, “Suvarna after a long time we are listening your voice!”

1Dharana – mental retetion, continuance in recetitude, fortitude, firmness. A part do yoga a religiously exercise – suspending the breath, abstracting the mind and restraining all natural wants.

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I said “I am really troubling you a lot by sending mails”

He said over this, “If we do not receive your mail we feel more trouble. It is a feeling to reach at the centre of the heart by drawing a circle of another laya in the heart.” Then he continued further,

“Truly speaking, you are coming out from the centre. It is like throwing a stone in water. It results into the action in which round and round circles go out away from the centre. You enter inside. You feel that you are reaching at the centre. But that is not the case. It does not happen like that. In fact, you remain at the surface level and come out of that central point. You will feel that you are engulfed (covered) by the whole Brahmand Charanpaduka1 and the sky. When you go deeper and deeper you will see the different sights. But do not pay attention to them. You have to go further. Now you are enlightened, illumined as per Sou. Rashmi’s vision.

I told him, “Laya becomes Sookshma (minute). There is connection also. But my neck pains due to the spondilytis. A kind of stress, tension builds in it. He said, “ Good that you have informed us about this. This trouble will be reduced gradually.”

“The lines on my hand seems to have changed. They look like the Charanpadukas. They are the holy Sandles of my Sadguru!!” I said to him!

He replied, “Just go on watching more changes here after, See how they are happening!”

1 Charanpaduka – Holy sandles of feet of the Sadguru.

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I told him, “My mind overflows with many thoughts such as, “There should be a Meditation temple (House of Meditation) in the House. I should perform meditation on the Himalaya mountain by going over there; I should send the fully lighted lamps floating into the holy River Ganga from Hrishikesh to Kashi and flow with them by floating in water.

He started laughing and exclaimed, “Let us bring the Himalaya and river Ganga in your heart for you!!”

He said the Parabrahma is constantly present with you.

I humbly said, “Give me such blessing that I will always bow dawn and surrender at your feet.”

He said, “You have been granted so much grace that the Parabrahma before and behind you!”

“There are many Lokas in Brahmandra such as Nakshatra, Gandharva, Yaksh, Patal, Swarg etc. But do not get yourself entangled in it. Come out of it and go ahead.”

“Do you mean to say that I will see all these Lokas?” I asked him. You are doing all these Kriyas. There is no difference between you an me. There is no Suvarna now!” he laughed with satisfaction.

‘The Laya’ occurred in the heart like the day before in the afternoon. After that everything was calm and quiet inside. What is there inside? I have not understood it yet. I will realize it with the grace of Sadguru only! I just sat with my eyes closed.

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I saw yellow Pitambar1 (cloth around the waist) and Sudarshan Chakra.2

19/8/2004 The laya started in the heart at the dawn. The neck and

shoulders were quite loose, relaxed. They did not hurt. The laya became Sookshma (minute) while moving up! It became extremely minute. I said to Sadguru, “First let me get your Darshan here!” And to my surprise I saw him in the Sookshma laya’! Then I saw a white lotus blooming with its petals. Then there was no Laya and Naad also!

An endless exposure of water like sea was seen. The Eagle bird took a sweep in the space soaring very high.

Then I was seated in a straight posture. Suddenly I rose high and high. A vaccum was created in the stomach over navel and the chest.

A large ‘Laya’ started at the right and left side in the chest ad the stomach. It became stable on the navel gradually. This experience was so thrilling and so wonderful that it cannot be described in words. The Naad in the ear was loud and different. The palms of my hands came close to the stomach automatically.

In the afternoon the laya existed in the heart first and in the monkey bone of the waist later on. The laya goes behind from the navel quickly and becomes minute (Sookshma). Then it goes on moving towards the Brahmarandhra, enters in it and comes dawn in the Mooladhara.1 Pitambar – yellow cloth around the waist.2 Sudharshan Chakra – A wheel like weapon in the hand of Lord Vishnu.

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20/8/2004 The laya started in the Nabhi Chakra (Navel Chakra) at the

dawn. Afterwards it went into monkeybone. The muscles were twisted near the navel. Then the laya went back into the Mooladhar. A circle was formed in the stomach like the round roll. Then it entered into the Mooladhar with a circular motion. From there, it came up again. This action happened many times. A wonderful feeling of quietness was felt inside everywhere.

Many days are over. The sound of jingling of the silver anklets is heard in the ear continuously. The sound enters into the ear making the sound of the arrow that rushes in the object with great force. The laya existed on the Nabhi Chakra (Navel Centre) in the afternoon. It went back by becoming subtle (Sookshma). The laya started from the Bhroomadhya and went speedily into Mooladhara. It was Sookshma in Mooladhara. Then it rose up and entered into the Brahmarandhra. A great stress was felt on the thighs while the laya was lifted up from the Mooladhar. Loud sounds are coming in the year. The jingling sound of the silver anklets is heard constantly heard in the hear.

The yellow coloured cloth (Pitambar) and the Sudharshan Chakra (Lord Vishnu’s weapon) was seen at the left side in the Hruday Chakra. Nothing was seen in the complete form.

21/8/2004 The laya existed in the entire chest at the dawn. Then it went

into the Mooladhar by becoming very small, very minute and entered into the Brahmarandhra. After that, the Laya existed at the

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right side in the heart. It went behind in the back by becoming minute (Sookhsma) and entered into Mooladhara from the back.

While performing the Sadhana, the sound of anklet is constantly heard in the ear. As I slept in Shavasana Lord Krishna was seen.

The Laya existed in the Mooladhar during the afternoon. Then it entered into the Sahastrar going through each Chakra. From there it went into the Bhroomadhya, monkey bone and went down in the Mooladhara Chakra.

22/8/2004 Today the laya was at the right side in the chest at the dawn.

Then it went behind in the back. After that it came forward and gently swept dawn.

The laya existed in the Nabhi Chakra during the afternoon. There was twisting the muscles of the stomach. The laya moved away from the navel to the right side, went behind again and then came forward near the navel. A complete circle of circular laya was formed around the waist. Then the laya slowly moved away from the navel and slowly entered into the Mooladhar. I was sitting for one hour and fifteen minutes when this process was going on. When the laya remained in the Mooladhar, there was pressure on my feet !

23/8/2004 The Laya was in the Nabhi Chakra (the navel centre) today.

Then it existed at the right side in the heart. A sensation of the minuteness of the laya was felt. But I did not realize its movement

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at that time. Later on a feeling of numbness was felt in the head. Then I was unable to understand anything about laya or any movement of that laya. When it used to become minute (Sookshma) I used to feel aware of it. There was no pain in the neck.

As I slept in Shavasana yesterday I felt that some one was touching my back and trying to wake me up.

24/8/2004 The laya started at the right side inside the chest during the

meditation performed at the dawn. The laya was slowly moving inside in the minute fashion as if swaying and whirling around. This action was going on for a long time. Finally, my husband called me as it was the time to perform Agnihotra.

When I slept in Shavasana, Sadguru took my hand in his hand. Suddenly a speedy movement had started and spread all over the body. When I got up my mind was utterly peaceful for a long time. I asked up Sadguru. He just said “Namaskar”. Normally he will always greet me and say “Namaskar Suvarna”. Today I requested Him not to greet me with word such as ‘Namaskar’. I humbly prayed to him that “You are my Sadguru. Therefore, You should not say “Namaskar” to me. He started laughing.

Then I asked him, “The soft laya is swinging in the subtle (Sookshma) laya very gently. Is this the meditation?

He answered, “Everything that is happening at present is meditation (Dhyan) only. But you have to go further. There is dazzling sparkling divine light on the way but you have to reach the ultimate Eternal Truth (Chirantan Satya). There is nothing!

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There is no existence of any awareness, any consciousness. The body consciousness must go away. It should be ended. You have attained a different state now. Even if you go for any work outside, you are totally introvert (You are engrossed inwardly). You have to come out of that internal state of mind. There is Our protective covering, the shield around you. You are guarded at every moment with our careful minute affection constantly. It requires many births to attain such spiritual stage. You are progressing speedily and you have to proceed with more speed than this!!

We always talk to you by holding your hand!” I said “Yes, I do feel about it. I realize that my hand is held, but I do not understand the talk”. He responded immediately, “No. It is not necessary to understand it. We are trying to make the basic change, the fundamental change in you. Your mind must be changed. You have a great urge, tremendous desire to do the Sadhana. But, if it does not happen upto the expectation, you feel disappointed. You feel unhappy.

I replied” The problem comes due to my poor health. I have never eaten my food to my heart’s satisfaction in the last thirty five years.

He sad sympathatically, “Oh how sad! Never mind. Gradually there will be a change. We are fully attentive to it. Do not worry at all. The mind becomes desireless (without any desire).”

He had proved and convinced me in his Email about his constant presence in the deep core of my heart. With an illustration

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of the story of the Gorakshnath and Shri Dattatrya. Lord Dattatrya always stayed deep in the heart of Gorakshnath! My Sadguru also stays deep in my heart.

Today the laya started at the right side in the chest. The laya existed in the subtle (Sookshama) laya. I felt that I was going through the centre of those layas. The laya went into the Mooladhar.

Again the laya started in the chest. After the Sookshma laya, the laya started moving round and round like the circular movement of the heart. Its circular movement has constantly felt although I slept in Shavasana.

I received Shri Sadguru’s mail! This mail is really wonderful and interesting to read. I recite, I read it again and again like a Parayana. As I requested him to not to greet me by writing Namaskar, he addressed me with words such as, “My dear Divinely Blessed Suvarna…!

I said to him, “I have experienced your precious company (presence) very little! Very short”

He answered on this, "We feel that you are experiencing our presence, our company constantly well. We have already informed you that we are constantly staying in deep core of your heart. Yes, We are constantly there with you! Then I told him, “I do not feel satisfied with the phone call or email. There is his great urge, a genuine yearning fort his actual meeting. He said, “Yes. We are fully aware of it. We can imagine your eager, your anxiety, for the actual meeting. Due to the intense urge and a

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great longing for the real meeting of the Sadguru, there is progress in your Sadhana. It will go on rapidly even in future!”

As I narrated about my experience of His ‘Darshan’ in the minute laya of the heart he says, “You always see Us in the deep core of your mind because you have a strong will and a strong desire! There is great yearning, an intense longing in your prayer!”

I told him, “Now the Naad is becoming more loud.”

He explained “Your Hrudaya Akash will be filled with this Naad.”

He also wrote, “The sight of water that you can see some times in your Sadhana is quite an auspicious sight. The Naad is becoming louder! It is a clear sign that God is helping you, guiding you!. “The Naad of the anklets is heard. This is also a very good experience. It is impossible to describe it in words.. This is a very rare experience! When We will talk over the phone we will talk on this subject directly to you. The direct communication through the talk will be more effective than the written words! This is the most valuable time of your (Tap) ascetism and the spiritual practice, Your routine course of daily life and the breathing is going on in that direction. Your vow of silence is also going on. You have received all this from that Parabrahma (The highest Supreme Divine Power) without making a demand! This observance of silence and peace is really comfort giving and joyous too! 25/8/2004

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Today the laya was at the right side in the heart at the dawn. As it was becoming very minute, I could feel its minute undulation (swinging, oscillatory movement). Then everything became quiet. I felt the swinging movement of the laya all over the heart.

The laya existed at the right side in the heart during the afternoon. The gentle, soft undulation of the laya was like the undulatory swinging of the cradle. A kind of stupor (intoxication) was felt due to the Naad and laya. Everything was quiet and created an intoxicative effect (effect of stupor). The body became loose. Each and every vein of the body became loose. I was unable to realise what was going inside the body.

26/8/2004 The laya started at the right side inside the heart in the usual

manner at the dawn. Then the laya existed in the whole chest and the stomach. Then it went behind in the waist. Then I felt a stupor in the head. Eyes were pulled inside like the magnet.

As I was in deep meditation following thoughts were in my mind. “Mazya Sadgururaya, Pranavswaroop Omkara!” (My dear Sadgururaya, You are the form of primordial sound – Pranav, Omkar!)

When I slept in Shavasana, I felt that my mind was very deep inside. Then I saw two feet that were decorated with anklets. After a while I felt that Sadguru has kept his hand on my head.

Now the mediation becomes very deep. Although it was 10 o’clock in the morning I feel calm and quiet. I do not feel like talking.

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Many days have gone. I feel quite often that Sadguru is calling me with my name “Suvarna ….. His call touches my heart very deeply!”

The laya existed at the right side in the heart. Then I felt a great vaccum something, very subtle all over the stomach and the chest. Entire body has become relaxed. I felt strength in my waist. But I was unable to locate the existence of the laya and the Naad too! The tinkling sound of anklets was being heard in between. I knew the laya was going into the Mooladhar. Although I tried my best to know what was happening I fail to understand it. The sound that I use to hear seems to have changed now. I feel that it comes like the blow of the wind in the ear.

27/8/2004 There was inward silence inside the body. The entry of the

laya was not understood but when it become minute, I realized it. Sadguru was sitting in front of me.

I slept in Shavasana. I entered into the deep sleep. After half an hour, the bright light shining like sparkling diamond came with great speed towards the Ajna Chakra.

It takes a lot of time for me to become relaxed. The naad was entering into Hruday from ears.

A kind of stupor, numbness was felt. The laya existed in the waist. After some time sound similar to the speedy moving wind was heard in the ear! I was becoming relaxed. I sat straight. The seating posture was very straight and completely different. The laya

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was going to the Ajna Chakra from the Mooladhar. I could not understand much about the whole process.

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The Sound of Anklets28/8/2004

The jingling sound of toe bells (the silver ornament in the ankles) is coming in the ear. Shri Sadguru wrote in the mail that he would like to discuss it over the phone. So I phoned him up.

I told him, “This sound is coming in the ear since the last month. In the beginning I used to listen this sound only. But now the sound of the crickets is also being heard at the night. Whether this is the sound of the regular laya that comes in the ear or whether it is mixed with the illusionary sound of the crickets, I am unable to understand, Since I started hearing it continuously, I asked you the explanation in the mail. I have not realized the important significance of it for a long time. So I did not ask Him before!

I informed Him that this sound comes even day an night in the Sadhana. He exclaimed, “Suvarna, the sound of toe bells that you are listening, is a very rare experience. It is very difficult to obtain such experience. Different types of sounds (Naad) are heard in Sadhana such as Brahmaree (sound of the bees) or the sound of the conch. This is known as the Shabda Brahma1. The Naad of toe bells (Anklets) is a very high levelled sound! We are extremely happy!!”

This sound of the toe bells (anklets) belongs to that Premerdial Female Power (Adishakthee), the cosmic mother (Jagdamba) who creates the universe and who has created three great divine female powers known as Mahalakshmee2, Mahasaraswatee and Mahadurga. 1 Shabda Brahma – Brahma of Voice (sound of voice) 2 Mahalakshmee – Goddess of prosperity, wealth

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Kansa lifted the daughter of Vasudev and Devakee to kill her. But she vanished in the sky immediately. This divine sound belongs to the ornamental anklets in the feet of that Kumaree Shaktee (Female Virgin Goddess of power) and who is also known as Bal Ambika (The small girl like Cosmic mother).It is a concrete proof of the solid protection and encouragement of that highly Greatest Supreme Power that stands behind you. Remember that you are treading on a Soft velvet carpet!”

Do not be afraid !

I always perform the mental worship of the Sadguru as described in the Dnyaneshwaree1.

I say inwardly in my mind “I am putting the toe – bells (anklets) of my love in the feet of my Sadguru! My Sadguru has bestowed his unbound Grace on me! It had given me the accomplishment of all possible experiences. It is all due to his grace only. Sadgururaya this is your grace, your blessings! I humbly surrender to it with all my heart!”

Then I asked him further, “You say that all this experience is very uncommon and remarkable. But do I really deserve all this? My sole expectation is to learn something new in the Sadhana and to meet you! That’s all! You say “This is the unbound Grace of Parabrahma! “But my mind does not become overjoyed at all” I told him. He said, “You do not understand it. Therefore you are talking like this”. I said to him, “ I received the opportunity of your divine company directly just for eight to ten times only!”. He 1 Dnyaneshwaree – The most valuable treatise written in Marathee on Bhagvadgeeta, a commentary on Bhagvadgeeta by the great saint Shree Dnyaneshwar Maharaj.

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remarked “God Shrikrishna met Gop and Gopees after the separation of one hundred years!” I told him “There is no comparison between me and Gop and the Gopees! We both stand at two extreme points. (They are at high level and I am at low level). He exclaimed quickly, “Our Suvarna is not a bit less in the superior quality. Parabrahma has decided to bestow His Grace on you. You are getting an opportunity to eat the sweet essence of the milk. (spiritual essence). So eat it (Enjoy the Grace of Parabrahma). Do you think anything about its reason? Do you why you are getting it. You have a great longing, genuine yearning for Sadguru. (Your urge is intense)”. I said with all my heart, “You are also not loving me less! Your love is expressed in each and every word while talking or writing in the mail”

He responded back, “Suvarna, We give only joy and love! Ishwar is also just the same! He showers, overpours joy and love on the devotee! Now the state of your mind and your experience can be described in the following words,

“ Stheeravalee Vruttee I Pangule Pran IIMukee Ramnam Upaje Avadee II Sukh ghadoghadee Vadhoo lage II

(Meaning – Your mind is still stable with calm and quietness. The living breath (life force) has become lame. The Happiness is increasing at each and every moment in life!! as the chanting of Ramnam started by mouth with great love and interest and liking.

29/8/2004

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The Laya was coming and going from Mooladhar to the Ajna Chakra. It was felt in the vertebra of the waist also. The minute (Sookshma) laya existed in two lungs. The laya was going behind through the back from the Mooladhara to the Brahmarandhra.

30/8/2004 The laya existed from Mooladhar to Ajna Chakra today at the

dawn. Concentration was not quite proper. I was unable to understand what was happening. The laya existed in the waist too!

I was performing the mental worship of Sadguru after the meditation. I was reciting the Shloka

“Gurur Brahma …………”

And there was a call from Sadguru!

My mind was quiet since I just got up from the deep meditation. Since I had taken the dental treatment there was swelling. I was unable to talk. I just asked him, “Why did you phone me? He replied “You remembered us so much yesterday! Isn’t it? So we called up!” I was speechless to hear His words. Then he asked again, “Are you not well?” How is everything?” Speak to us [Bola na ….”] “My heart really moved to listen to his urging voice and the sincerity of emotion.”

I informed him, “I do not understand what is happening when I start meditating during this week.”

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He said, “It should happen exactly like that!” I tried to speak. But there was not much satisfaction in that talk. It was really difficult to talk any further.

I slept in Shavasana. I could feel the power of Shri Sadguru constantly working whole day the body. I could be able to feel the touch of his hand to my hand.. A circular motion was felt in the head and the back. Some motion was felt in the waist also. The torrent of light was flashing all over the body!

The laya was going up from the Mooladhar into the back and entering into the Brahmarandhra from the back. It must be existing in the Ajna Chakra because there was a feeling of quivering at that place. The muscles of the stomach were felt rather hard and stretched up also. The sound of the bones was coming from the vertebra of the neck. The nerves of the brain were stretched up.

A huge image of Lord Ganapatee was seen! There was a garland of pearls in his trunk. God Ganapatee was giving that garland of pearls to me … !!

The Ganapatee was looking fully alive and vibrant and the pearls in the garland were divine.

As I slept in Shavasana, “I heard Shri Sadguru’s voice “Suvarna, you did not talk to us today!” I have sent an email to Him immediately and explained the reason. I have expressed my feeling of guilt and requested him to pardon me ….. !!

I am also regretting grieving for it!

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“Truly speaking not a single moment has been left in my life now in which I do not remember you!”

31/8/2004 There was no laya in the Dhyana1 today at the dawn. It was

just like moving up and dawn, But the experience of meditation was really beautiful!

Everything was really beautiful in the ‘Dhyan’ today! The sound of the toe bells (anklets), the sweet fragrance of ‘Heena’ scent, the flame of light in the centre of the heart, Shreepad Shree Vallabha at the left side in the house of worship, Lord Krishna standing at the right, God Ganapatee seated at the front! The most important and beautiful feeling, the awareness of the close company of Shree Sadguru!!

It was simply wonderful, great and beautiful. What is the purpose of all this preparation?

Today I felt the sweet smell, the fragrance for the first time. It lingered for a long time. Sadgururaya, how wonderful, how happy I felt today!

Shri Sadguru’s palm was seen coming up from the Bhroomadhya. The Sadhana was performed as usual in the afternoon. The roaring sound that was similar to the roaming of the wind was heard in the ear.

At 8 P.M. in the night the roaring sound entered in the ears with speed and stopped in the ears immediately. The laya and the

1 Dhyana – Meditation profound and abstract contemplation.

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sound of the toe-bells (anklets) was also stopped for a while. I was in deep sleep at midnight. It was pitch dark. I felt that someone was entering into the room. Suddenly I felt that something was piercing forcibly (entering forcibly) my whole body!

1/9/2004 The meditation happened like the day before at the dawn. The

sweet fragrance had also come! The Swan bird was seen before me. I felt a lot of construction and destruction (complexities) ware taking place inside the body. I felt that the muscles of my stomach have become very rigid and thick.

I was sleeping it the afternoon. Many ‘Kriyas’ (activities) were going inside the body. I could realize it even in the deep sleep also. A speedy and circular movement was going on inside the stomach. There were violent palpitations in the heart. Even in the Bhroomadhya also the fast movement was going on. My parents (mother and father) were seen. I said to them, “I render my obeisance to you. (I bow to you). Later on I felt a lot of strength in the back while doing Yogasanas.

2/9/2004 The meditation was performed as usual today at the dawn.

The feeling of the intense rocking sensation has become less today. I was absolutely stable for sometime. The palms of my hands were closed into the fists on my thighs automatically/ I felt the nearness of Sadguru at that time very clearly. Whenever I start performing the Sadhana, I always see him sitting close to me. But today this feeling confirmed his presence more in the mind. It was a nice feeling. Today, Narad Munee1 was playing on Veena (a musical 1 Narad Munee – Narad, ‘the son of Brahma’ and one of the ten original Muni or Rishi, He delighted in exciting quarrls. Hence an incendiary, make – bate.

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instrument of strings) and chanting the name of God “Narayana Narayana1 ……..”

When I slept in the Shavasana, there were immense palpitations in the upper part of the heart.

When I slept in the afternoon, rapid movements, palpitations started on the Swadhisthan Chakra (Saccral Centre) The muscles of the stomach were pulled back (stretched back). A lot of movement was going on in the upper part of the forehead. The muscles were felt like pulled dawn. The muscles of the head were also felt like pulled. Even at night also, a lot of movement was going on in the upper part of the Bhroomadhya.

3/9/2004 The meditation was good like the day before. There was no

external movement of the body in the meditation. The inner movement of the muscles was going on. I felt that the Muscles were pulled up.

I received a mail from Sadguru. He says, “We have received your mail. “Bravo! Bravo!! Well done!! (Dhanya – the one that has accomplished success) This is the most supreme and precious Favour the Graciousness of Ishwar!! We will send the reply in details later on!”

A constant sound of the anklets (toe bells) is heard in the ear. It comes while walking also! Sometimes I used to feel that they are my anklets only. When I heard the for the first time I said in my mind, “My little jingling Krishna, is this the sweet sound of your 1 Narayana Narayana Name of the Lord Vishnu. The Indian deity among three – Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh

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anklets?” [But Sadguru said, “These are the ornaments in the feet of Cosmic Mother Goddess Jagdamba!!”]

The laya existed inside the body during the afternoon in the spiritual practice. Gradually the breath slowed dawn and the pressure also gathered in the heart. Afterwards a gesture of offering the flowers at the feet of Sadguru through the bowl of hands was done automatically. Then I started peeping and searching by lifting one hand first and the lifting another hand later on, for little Krishna I started praying to him with great intensity! “Where did you go? Come back to me. Come quickly. Then I see him running towards me. I spread my both hands and held him quite close to my heart. Then a gesture of talking and laughing with him takes place. I render my obeisance again and again and offer him flowers!

All these gestures of finding God Krishna are played in the Indian dance know as ‘Bharatnatyam’! They started happening on their own! Then I got up and slept in Shavasana. To my surprise, I saw the blue coloured Lord Krishna adorned with the rich cloth of silk (Kad1), the feather of the peacock on the forehead and holding a flute in the hands standing quite close to me …. !!

4/9/2004 When I sat for the meditation, the gestures that happened the

day before were repeated again after a long time. I felt I was calling him “Kanha” (the affectionate name for the little God Krishna).

But before that, I saw a garland of flowers around my neck. I said to myself in mind, “This garland is for Sadguru! And to my

1Kad – silk cloth around the waist

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surprise, I saw Shree Dnyaneshwar Maulee1. I saw the garland of flowers around his neck!

There was total concentration, a kind of engrossed state of mind in the Dhyan. A flash of light was seen in the head and eyes. When the Naad was louder in the ears, a strange sound was heard in the ears and chest too! It was like the blowing of the wind! I was doing the Mantra Japa yesterday evening. There was great urge and yearning in that ‘japa’. There was smile in my eyes! It is really wonderful and delightful to perform Japa along with the sweet sound of the toe bells (anklets)!

As I slept at night, I experienced srange feelings. The sound of the toe – bells was coming again and again!

5/9/2004 The Dhyan experience was totally different today at the dawn.

Laya was turning to the right side in the body. Suddenly, a dark blue ink like sky was seen before the eyes. It was full of shining stars. Later on Mahadev was seen. After that, lotus feet covered Lord Shankar2 with wooden sandals (Khadava) and some portion of legs was seen. This Goddess was going ahead floating in the sky. Shree Swamy Samarth was also seen. He was standing with his one hand resting on the waist.

Sometimes I feel that I have nose, ears and eyes only! The awareness of the other body does not remain at all! I saw the auspicious feet of Shri Sadguru also. There was quiet ‘Laya’ in the

1 Dnyaneshwar Maulee –Sant Dnyaneshwar is repeated as Maulee, themother of al devotees 2 Lord Shankar – Hindu deity. God of destruction. End of Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh (Shankar)

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Ajna Chakra. But the fragrance was coming for a long time. The laya was the same like morning during the afternoon. Theer was a slight change the Laya..

When I slept in the afternoon, the power of Sadguru was felt quite actively working in the body. I realized the continuation of the Japa also.

Yesterday, the gesture of searching in which mother Yashoda is searching her little child Lord Krishana was performed automatically. I think that is one of the ‘Leelas’ (plays) of Sadguru only! He remarked on the other day, “Your sentiment is quite urging, intense like the Gopee”. Was he trying to give me the proof of that?” This thought flashed in my mind quite suddenly at that time!

6/9/2004

8/9/2004 Shree Swamy Samarth was seen in Dhyan. He was wearing a

cap and standing. Yesterday night the Japa was going on continuously. Shree Sadguru gave me the pleasure of touching his cheek on my cheek like the mother that touches the cheek of her child very affectionately!

There is a constant feeling in my mind that he must have truly met me at that time.

7/9/2004 There is a mail from Sadguru. Many devotees had come to

stay with him from long distances over there. They stayed for two

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days in his house. I grieved a lot in mind after reading this. “I would have also joined that group and their gathering if I would have been close! A thought suddenly flashed, “That is why he must have met me yesterday!!”

But, why did they come together? What must have been the nature of their activity?

Shri Sadguru sent me the mail inspite of his busy schedule! He wrote, “You have received the Mahaprasad (the great big grace). How surprising it is! Look at the auspicious ‘Darshan’s of Gods, their blessings as the Mahaprasad (Supreme Grace) [It is your great fortune] You have to go further beyond this! All these things are nothing but the supreme unique and Eternal Ishwar, the Paramatma!! You have to reach to that stage! Always remember this! Perform your Sadhana constantly with great intensity and devotion. Ishwar is always with you.

We feel utter delighted to see that Sant Tukaram1 reached the Vaikunth2 with his physical body (Sadeha) Say many people! We say “Our Suvarna is not less important than this. She can also obtain this oustanding success, this meritorious attainment like Sant Tukaram. Shri Sant Tukaram saw God Pandurang constantly and became god Pandurang at the last!! Continue your Sadhana. We are watching you at each and every step very carefully. You are receiving an excellent guidance. Do not feel extremely eager and intense! Do not be afraid. My child, just experience this unending happiness and delight it!

1 Sant Tukaram – The renowned Saint of Maharashtra, A great devotee of God Pandurang. Wrote the famous “Tukaram Gatha”2 Vaikunth – Heavenly abode of God Vishnu (Pandurang)

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8/9/2004 The muscles of the stomach were twisted in the morning and

during the afternoon. There was ‘Laya’ in the Sahastrar Chakra and Ajna Chakra! Shri Sadguru visited my house in the dream. We taked a lot. Then he went up and started sweeping with the sweeping broom. I took it from his hand and removed all garbage. When he came home, he was laughing and talking very happily. My mind was fully satisfied to notice his joyful mood.

9/9/2004 There was twist to muscles of the stomach in the meditation.

Then I sat straight. The laya was in the Ajna Chakra. I did not realize anything. While reciting the Stotra1 and while walking also, the beautiful sound of toe bells (anklets) was going on constantly.

10/9/2004 There was a twist in the muscles of the stomach first. Then,

they were stretched up with great force. I slept in Shavasana after that. I always see Shri Sadguru in Shavasana. But I did not see his feet today. Then I looked at his hands, his face. But something different, some strange was seen. Everything was looking white! I felt quite puzzled. “Who are you? Kindly accept my Pranam! (Respectful Obeisance)

Later on I started feeling that Shree Swamy Samarth is sleeping in Shavasana! I said “Today is Shravani Shukrawar2”. It is the evening time. You have arrived today. I bow you with great respect (Pranam)

1 Stotra – Reigious hymn in praise of god.2 Shravani Shukrawar – Auspicious day in the auspicious month known as Shravan (August) according to the Hindu almanac – Shukrawar – Friday.

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I felt Shree Swamy’s presence till my body became relaxed.

11/9/2004 There was a twist to the muscles in the stomach today then the

neck started moving round and round. I felt great strength, tremendous power in that turning round movement. Then I sat straight quietly with concentration. A red rose was seen blooming in the Mooladhar Chakra. I slept in Shavasana. Two eyes and a splendorous aura around those eyes was seen after sometime.

12/9/2004 When I was sitting peacefully, a thought rose in my mind.

“Just as mind is yearning, feeling a great urge for Sadguru, same feeling should be developed while doing the Japa also.

13/9/2004 The Laya existed in the Mooladhar and Ajna Chakra at one

time. Although it was quite gentle and soft its power was that of magnet. Today I felt that Sadguru was standing in the door and I was pouring water respectfully on his feet. I welcomed him respectfully, “Please come inside!” He was really standing there.

The sweet sound of toe – bells comes intermittently. It stops and comes again. Sometimes the sound is very slow and at the other time the sound of the toe – bells is heard rapidly! It is a great pleasure to listen to that sweet sound!

When I slept in the afternoon, Shri Sadguru was seen standing in the pose of God Pandurang. He had placed his hands on the waist. I was in deep meditation during the afternoon as I just sat

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comfortably. The laya existed in the Mooladhar, Nabhi – Chakra and Ajna Chakra together. Then everything was quiet. The palms of hands became very heavy on thighs. The muscles of the stomach were stretched up with force. I felt the stress, the tension upto that head. Then the palms of my hands were lifted up. It was felt like lifting some heavy material in hands.

The muscles of fore arms were also stretched up. As if was lifting the weight. This action happened two to three times, but I did not feel heavy at that time. Later on someone was seen seated with cross legged in the white cloth. As my hands were lifted up that person also seemed to be have been lifted up and up.

Then the muscles in the stomach were being pulled up at a high level. I felt the tremendous surge of energy and strength in the muscles of the back. There was a feeling of strength at both sides of the spinal cord. There was a sensation of some movement in the spinal cord which was going at the upward direction.

I think that my Sadguru was standing at the door before starting all these “Kriyas” (activities) I welcomed him and poured water on his feet. Then all these Kriyas started. A sweet smell was also felt to my nostrils at the same time. This entire process continued for two hours constantly. There is strength, power in the motion of the Laya that continued during the last three weeks.

My mind is quite peaceful!

14/9/2004 The meditation was performed like the day before at the

dawn. When it was over, I slept in Shavasana. When I lie in this

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position, I always keep my glance on feet because I saw the feet of my Sadguru over there. But today the feet of the small girl adorned with the anklets (toe bells) were seen!!

Our Dear Child15/9/2004

The meditation was very good at the dawn today. There was a change in the Laya that existed in the stomach. Then everything was quiet. I saw myself engrossed in deep meditation near the place

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where Shri Swamy Samartha’s sacred Padukas1 exist under the banyan tree at Akkalkot. An experience of acute concentration was felt in which there was no awareness of Laya or the Naad. I remained in a state of ‘no awareness, no consciousness at all’.

I asked for his forgiveness as I was unable to talk to him over the phone due to the problem of toothache on 30th September. He said that he could see everything. I phoned him simply because. I remembered him very much. I informed him, “There is not a single moment I which I do not remember you! I always feel that you are holding me close to the heart and coaxing my head affectionately!

He said, “There is no gender difference in this relationship! You are our favourite, our loving child!”

“You are receiving the outstanding Grace of Shri Swamy Samarth”.

I exclaimed, “This is like balancing the ‘Shiv Dhanushya2’ for my health. (This is beyond my physical capacity to bear his powerful energy! So, you are only going to bear to adjust all this!”

He replied, “This spiritual path is really very difficult!

One’s health depends on one’s Karma of previous birth. But there, will be a gradual and slow change. Do not take too much stress or tension. Just relax! All will happen naturally, easily in a gradual manner. Velvet carpet is spread before you. Be happy and cheerful! I feel the direct presence of Shri Sadguru in the house during these four days. He said, “We were here in the

1 Paduka – The holy sandles in the feet of God Sadguru , Akkalkot2 Shiv Dhanushya – Bow of Shiv, Very heavy. It is beyond the capacity of an ordinary person to lift it.

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subtle form (astral form) during the last few days. But now, We are present with the gross form of body. Every morsel that you have eaten with our memory is received by us!” We are planning to come to India at the end of this year. We will go to take the auspicious Darshan of the family Goddess (Kuldevata) Shakambahri

I replied, “You are coming to India! My God! I have started counting the days, I am eagerly waiting for the day of your arrival here.” He said, “there will be no disturbance due to health in your Sadhana”

I started the Sadhana in the afternoon. The muscles were moving with great strength in the stomach. But today, I did not feel any stress which I felt the day before. When I informed Shri Sadguru about it he has carefully guided the Sadhana. The muscles of the stomach were pulled with a great force! Sometimes they were stretched upward in a zigzag manner and sometimes in straight manner. While lifting the palms of my hand I felt a great energy in them. The palms were lifted up very slowly. Then they touched the forehead and the fingers touched the head. As the palms were on the forehead, the forehead touched the ground.

There is no limit to the care and anxiety of Sadguru with which he prepares, inspires and motivates the devotee to do his Sadhana!!

16/9/2004 The muscles of the stomach were moving at the dawn. There

were circular movements from the Mooladhar to navel. Then a light was seen in the stomach. Later on they looked like clusters of

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clouds. The meditation was so deep that I did not understand anything. Naad, Laya and Japa nothing was realized. “The padukas” were seen in the feet of Sadguru. The meditation was going on for a long time. Finally I decided to get up. My hands were closed automatically and I bent forward. The Agnihotra pot was just placed before me. My forehead was touched on it. A sound rushed inside the right ear. The sound of the bursting cracker was heard.

When I slept in Shasvasana a deserted place was seen. Fire was burning at the distance of 4 - 5 feet long. Then I saw the burning coals of the fire too! I thought that the site was similar to the final rites of cremation. A thought rose in my mind. “Did the Sadguru perform the Agni-Sanskar1 to make an end of my sensual passions and sentiments that rise from the organs of the body?” This thought was confirmed because my children, my mother, clothes and money were seen in the meditation. I thought Sadguru is trying to show me to make an end of all material attachments in life such as the affection for the son, the mother and attraction for clothes and money etc !!

17/9/2004

18/9/2004 Today the laya was quite different in the meditation. The

muscles of the stomach were literally churned out! The laya was different in the back and the waist. The laya was going from the

1Agni-Sanskar - To burn the thing or the dead body with an intention to purify it!

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Mooladhar to the back and from there into the Sahastrar. God Ganapatee2 was seen.

Today is Ganesh Chaturthee.. My mind was very eager and intensely anxious to meet the Sadguru. The entire incident of the celebration of the power of the Grace bestowed on me by the Sadguru and his inspiring talk is constantly visible before the eyes.

When I slept in Shavasana, I could feel him holding my hand in his hand. Sadguru was seen directly standing in front of me! There was light before the eyes. Tears of joy started running from my eyes.

My legs were looking red like the burning fire upto the knees in the Dhyana. I received Shri Sadguru’s mail. He wrote, “Although there was a talk over the phone, We know that you are expecting a mail also. Hence we are sending email.”

I requested him to not to compare me with the great divine saints, I was very much surprised by this comparison.

He says, “Who says like that? Suvarna, you learn to develop faith in yourself. The Parabrahma (Eternal Supreme Truth) has declared so. Have faith onn that Parabrahma also! Do not keep doubts in the mind.”

When I informed him that the muscles of the stomach are always stretched up, he advised me to concentrate on the Mantra and Naad”. He also said, “By changing every cell in your body

2 Ganapatee – The Deity Ganesh (Hindu Deity) The son of Shiv and Parvati. He is the deity of Wisdom, remover of difficulties, obstacles. The leader of the classes of the subordinate gods regarded as Shiva’s attendants.

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you are getting power and strength from the Parabrahma. You are eager to know what is all this! You will not understand it now. We will talk about all this and rest of it when we would talk to you personally. You are progressing very rapidly according our expectation. It is really very rapid!”

When I told him that my hands have become very heavy like weight lifting. He said, “The Parabrahma is supercharging you. Do not think about futile and unwanted thoughts!!”

When I asked to inform the date of his travelling to other city. He says, “Do not feel worried. You will always remain in our contact.

“It is very important to take care of your health first. You have to go further (in the spiritual field). You both (your husband and yourself) should enjoy the real happiness and loving relationship of a couple. You both should take the advantage of the Divine Grace now! We have affection for your husband also! He told me once!

“We are never very far from you all” said he!

I do not know how many times I have done the repetitions of reading his mails and remembered the inspiring telephonic talk! And yet, my mind craves, yearns again and again with more intensity for my Sadguru! These expressions in the mail are really inspiring, encouraging and highly enlightening!

The Sadhana happened totally different today in the afternoon. The laya was minute (Sookshama). There was no stress

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in it. Now a days I do not feel any pain in the waist although I have to sit in bending position. Then I sit automatically in a straight position. There was twist in the muscles on the Nabhi – Chakra in the stomach.

19/9/2004 The laya was quite different in the meditation today at the

dawn. The slanting ray of light was coming in the stomach from the front. God Ganapatee was seen in the stomach. Today, Ganapatee was seen again and again!

Suddenly a different type of atmosphere appeared before me. A person clad in the white dress was seen. A cobra was seen coiled in a circular manner. I sat for the meditation. But I saw the cobra covering me with his coil from my waist to the shoulders and raising his hood up.

I felt that I am God Ganapatee in the meditation. I offered my obeisance by folding both hands together. I felt a magnetic attraction in the palms of my hands.

Then I thought that Sadguru was sitting here instead of me! He was laughing

I heard his voice also! “Kalyanmastu!! [Let everything be good and fairly well!] A sweet fragrance starred coming and lingered for long time!

I slept in Shavasana. The house of prayer was full with bright light. Sadguru was seen in a bending position near me. The atmosphere was quite different before me. Shri Narasinha

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Saraswatee1 was seen over there. A bowl was seen in his hands. Later on Shri Datta Maharaj2 was also seen.

Normally, I catch the laya by bending dawn but, this time, it has not happened like that. I was sitting straight. I felt that I was covered by the ant heep or something like that around me. Then I felt that I am meditating in water. It was flowing. A Goddess was also seen in front of my eyes while meditating in that flowing water!

The laya was moving from the Mooladhar to the Sahastrar Chakra. A kind of dizziness (stupor) was felt. The concentration was really profound. It continued for one hour and thirty minutes. I felt like getting up but could not! The power of Sadguru is strength that it controls all of my actions actively working with these great actions. I do not feel like getting up from the meditation and I cannot get up also!!

20/9/2004 I sat in an erect manner for meditation. I was in the state of

stupor suddenly. Goddess Saraswatee Devee3 was seen in the white cloth and holding her musical instrument ‘Veena’ in her hands. Lord Krishna was standing with a flute in his hand. His one leg was bent in a slanting position. Then the cool blue sky, full of stars and the moon was seen. Suddenly it was replaced by the dark red Sun! Later on, many strange things started appearing before me to such an extent that I could not be able to make any reference out of them at all. There was a continuous state of stupor in the meditation. My face has become very hot!1 Narasinha Saraswatee – Second incarnation of God Shri Datta2 Shri Datta Maharaj – Lord Dattatrya. Trinity of Hindu Gods Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh Gurutatva.3 Saraswatee Devee – Goddess of Intelligence and Knowledge

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When I slept in Shavasana. I heard the percussion sound of the (Tal1s) cymbal in the ear

21/9/2004 The laya existed in the Mooladhar and the Nabhi Chakra in

meditation at the dawn. Then the neck started moving round and round for a long time. When a huge sparkling red ball of the bright Sun was seen in front of my eyes, the laya started in Mooladhar and the bones of the waist. A round shied around my body was also seen! [As if I was sitting inside a big round ball] I was feeling dizzy. The laya existed in the Mooladhar during the afternoon. Then it moved upto the neck slowly with full of force in a round manner. Eyes were closed completely. They were turned inside. It was pitch dark everywhere. Not a single thought rose in the mind during one hour and fifteen minutes. My whole attention was directed to the laya. Then I sat straight. The laya was moving from the left to right and from the right to the left around the spinal cord. There was a round protective shield around me!!

22/9/2004 My neck was moving round very slowly. A kind of round

shield was formed around me! I saw Goddess Tuljapur Bhavanee2

There was full concentration in the Dhyan today. The sweet smell came. A feeling of fear rose in the mind as I was going deep in meditation. 1 Tal – Musical instrument of bell metal (cymbal) played with the stick2 Goddess Tuljapur Bhavanee – This temple is in Tuljapur, city in Maharashtra state, India. This is known as the important Shakti peetha (The powercentre) of goddess Tulajabhavanee.

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I slept in Shavasana. Sadguru was seen before the images of Gods. His feet were forward. I offered my obeisance to him.

23/9/2004 The laya was quite gentle and slow in the Mooladhar, Nabhi –

Chakra and Hruday Chakra at the dawn. The motion of the laya is slow but there was great strength in it. Due to the cough I could not be able to concentrate properly.

Yesterday I went to visit my niece’s house (in laws). Sadguru had sent the photographs the photographs of the Rudra Havan performed at Barshee. They were nice; especially the sacred fire in the vessel of Agni Hotra was very beautiful. I looked at the photograph of Shri Sadguru again and again. I preserved it in my eyes. I demanded his photographs quite often. But he refused politely as he was not in favour of individual worship. My niece had many photographs of Sadguru. She would not have refused to give one. But I did not ask for it as I never wanted to break his command. There was a discussion about Shri Sadguru in their house. There was no any other subject except Sadguru.

Today the laya existed in the Mooladharm Nabhi – Chakra in the throat and finally in the Ajna Chakra in the afternoon. But the Naad did not come properly. Hence I could not concentrate on it. I feel very nervous and dejected at such time. Why does it happen so? What is the reason?

24/9/2004 I could not concentrate properly at the dawn. The laya was in

the Nabhee Chakra and Hruday Chakra. The speed of the laya is

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becoming less slowly. Gradually I feel aware of some change that is definitely taking place. The laya started in the stomach first during the afternoon. Then it started in the Ajna Chakra, Laya was subtle (Sookshma), but there was force in it. The neck was moving round and round. There was ‘laya’ in the Bhroomadhya also. There was a great stress on the face and lips. The stress was felt in the palms of straight hands. I was seated automatically. The muscles in the stomach were churned, rose up and pulled up. There was forcible pressure on the muscles of the chest and back. Hands were lifted up. Today the Kriya was totally different.

25/9/2004 The laya was in the Mooladhar and Nabhi – Chakra. I was

feeling something different in the chest. Then I felt a movement in the bone of the waist.

Yesterday there was a phone call from Shri Sadguru. As I had

gone to my neighbours house he called in our factory.

So, I phoned him to enquire about the reason of his phone call. He said, “We remembered you so much so we called up!” “How thrilled I was! I am really fortunate that my Parabrahma (my Sadguru ) remembered me so much! I felt extremely happy could not talk much although I wanted to talk.

He informed me that he was going to some other city for a visit. I told him that if you are not in your house I could feel your absence here. He says” If we are not in the house, you know very well about our presence! (you know where do we go!) His talk is so true, appealing and earnest that I love to listen to it again and again! It has become my favourite hobby now! He said further,

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“Physical body becomes pure due to the Kriyas that happen in the Sadhana. Each and every minute cell changes. Your body has become lighted (It has become radiant full of splendour.) Increase your Dharana. Keep your continuous attention on the Mantra and the Naad. Many visions (sights) will be seen. Do not get yourself entangled in them. (Do not get involved in them more). Otherwise, the speed of the Sadhana becomes less! Your mind gets involved and interested in finding out the meaning of those sights (visions)! You get joyful and happy experiences. But, you have to go beyond! You have to go further. You have to obtain your ultimate Supreme Goal, the final target and the means to reach there also! It is one only and you have to reach the final destination.

Your inquisitiveness and eager is a turning point. Keep your attention on the Mantra. It will become automatic. Once your Dharna becomes natural and will be continued. The speed in the Dhyana is always less at other times but it is always continuous.

Sights, visions are seen. But do not utilize your energy in finding out their meaning you have to go further. Otherwise the speed of the progress becomes less.

Take care of your health. Although it was not good in the past, do not think about it again and again. It will not happen like that again!

When I sleep in Shavasana I see his many splendoured facets and forms at one time around me, tears start running from my eyes. I told him!

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He stopped for a moment and started laughing! He will always enquire about all family members in our house

He said, “Even if we go to other place, we will always remain in you contact!”

There was twist in the stomach muscles in the Sadhana during the afternoon. There was tremendous strength. There was more stress on my face. The stomach muscles were pulled up with all the strength.

I tried to keep my attention on the Naad as per the instructions of Shri Sadguru. I was unable to do it for sometime due to the teeth problem and swelling on the face.

26/9/2004 The laya was in the stomach in the meditation at the dawn.

Dhyan was performed very well. I went into the state of stupor completely. Nothing was understood. I felt that my body had become very transparent. I was not seen at all! After sometime, I saw my own self seated in the cross legged posture and also the cross legged position of the Sadguru in the elevated position. When I sit for the Dhyan I used to see Shri Sadguru instead of me. When the Dhyan was over, I started the mental worship of Shri Sadguru. At that time I did not feel my pressure over there. Sadguru sits over there. Does it mean that the Sadguru is performing the mental worship of his own Sadguru? Then where do I exist now? I feel that I have no existence.

When I started performing the Sadhana during the afternoon. The laya existed in the stomach. My neck was moving round and

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round.in a very slow manner. But, there was great stress on thighs and the face. Then the neck became straight at the upward direction and went back. The tongue had gone inside the throat. Then the back became straight and the hands also became straight on thighs. The Mantra and Naad started.

Shri Sadguru instructed me to increase Dharana and keep attention on Naad (Naadanusandhan1). Today I prayed him “Please grant me that. You are going to do it for me!”

“You are the doer, the performer of the Dhyana and you are the maker who will make me to do it! I do not see my own own existence anywhere at all now!!”

27/9/2004 Today the meditation was really good. The laya was under the

Sahasthar Chakra. Then I sat in the erect position automatically. The movement was felt in the waist. There was no stress on the face. Today also I have seen myself sitting in the Sukhasana posture. Sadguru was in the elevated position Shri Sadguru’s talk is based is heard in the ear constantly.

I received the auspicious Darshan of Shri Sadguru in the minute, the gentle (Sookhsma) laya of the heart at night, God Shree Ram was seen in the standing posture and Hanumant was sitting at the feet of God Shree Ram.

28/9/2004 The state of stupor occurs immediately in the meditation. A

black rock was seen ahead. A diamond like lustrous light was rising

1 Naadanusandhan – Concentration on the Naad (Divine Sound)

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high like a fountain from that black rock. A pure white horse was also seen for a moment. Then Shree Swamy Samarth was seen standing under the Banyan tree. A sweet fragrance was constantly coming during the meditation. This state of meditation is really wonderful. There is no awareness of the surrounding atmosphere.

The laya was continuously active in the Mooladhar Chakra and the stomach. The laya was full of strength. It was quite vigorous. It was rising from the Mooladhar and travelling upto the neck by pulling all muscles from Mooladhar and around the vertebra. Tremendous power and time is required for such kriya!

Although I slept in Shavasana, the kriya was going on continuously without stopping. The sweet fragrance was coming even in the position of Shavasana. What was the reason of this? Was it coming because the Kriyas were going on? My Sadguru was seen sitting near me. He was seen sitting before Gods also! Now I feel that I can only touch his feet with respect. I just can’t do anything else! My most revered Sadguru is only doing everything now!!29/9/2004

I meditated as usual like the day before at the dawn. But the concentration was not much. The laya existed in the Mooladhar and the Nabhichakra in the afternoon. Then it started moving in a zigzag manner upword from the waist. Later on, the neck was also moving slowly round and round. After that the minute Laya remained in the Hruday Chakra (Heart Centre).

30/9/2004

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The laya was as usual at the dawn. Then I sat very straight as the laya started moving up from the waist to the spinal cord. The aromatic smell was constantly coming.

The Sadhana was performed in the afternoon. The laya was also there but its stress was not felt in the waist, on the back or legs. There was a little sprain in the waist at the early morning. I was really scared with the fear that it might cause disturbance in the Sadhana. As a result, before I start the afternoon meditation, I prayed to Sadguru, “Please tell me what should I do now! Please guide me well!” When the kriyas start there is tremendous energy and strength.

Surprisingly, I did not feel any stress when the kriyas started. As if I had no waist and back! But all the force was gathered on the palms of the hands and shoulders and face. My waist, back, shoulders and neck are really very delicate. But Sadguru bears all the tension. He takes the real care!! I sit with closed eyes relying completely on him!!

1/10/2004 Today there was a stupor in the meditation at the dawn. The

light was seen like a sparkling diamond before me. The big flash of the bright light was there in front of my eyes. I thought there was some cracking sound in the head as a slight noise occurred in the house. When I slept in Shavasana, a light was seen in the stomach. There was strength in the laya during the afternoon.

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Adishakteerameyatma!2/10/2004 Adishakteerameyatma parama pavanakrutihi IAnekkotibrahmand jananee divyavigraha II

(Lalita Sahastranam – 175)

The sweet fragrance was constantly coming during the meditation at the dawn. Shri Sadguru was seen in the Dhyan. He was sitting under a very auspicious holy big tree. A divine light was coming from behind the Sadguru. It was silver coloured. That sight was looking quite similar to the forest where sages used to perform the ascetic ritual (Tapas). Later on I was sleeping in the Shavasana.

It was 8 A.M. I received a phone call from Shri Sadguru. When he said, “Suvarna! My heart is thrilled with joy!”. I informed him in the Email that I saw him floating in the space in Dhyana. He wrote back, “Your vision is being prepared to take the Divine Darshan! Lord Krishna had taken the cosmic form, the gigantic form! Arjuna received the divine vision to see that huge cosmic form of God Krishna. When we have accepted Suvarna, there is no difference between the two of us. Perform the Sadhana constantly the Parabrahma has held your hand. It is the most fortunate opportunity of your life. The gigantic and unbroken power in Brahmarandhra is one only! It is unique. It is uncommon and outstanding! Out of one lakh people, it comes in the hands of one person very rarely. You are very fortunate to get it. So, do everything with great delight and happiness. See the greatest Supreme eternal truth. That divine form has been thoroughly examined on the background of the rigorous test of all Vedas and Religious and Moral Sciences (Shastras1). There

1 Shastras – The science, systemer of law of pity and religion.

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are many ‘Lokas’ (Worlds) such as Sapta, Patal (Seven Hells), Brahma, Vishnu, Nakshatra etc. Jeevatma1 (the individual soul) goes to respective Loka as per his Sadhana. One can go to the Dev Loka2 with devotional worship also. But we have to go beyond all these varieties. That Ishwar has taken both forms such as Saguna and Nirguna. We have to go beyond the gross astral (subtle) and casual body. We have to go beyond the manifested and unmanifested. It has to be experienced.

I said, “I will be really fortunate to receive all this with your grace and your Blessings! I feel something unusual, quite different when I recite Atharvasheersha!

I wrote to him, “I wish to go to Pondicherry with you!”

He replied, “No, no. it is not necessary to go to Pondicherry for that. You can go to Pondicherry sitting at home!”

I told him, “I ate Barfee (sweet meal) while remembering you. I felt quite different at that time”

He remarked, “That is the purest state of mind (Visuddha state)”

I said, “I have read it in books. But now I am directly experiencing it by your Grace!” He commented, “It cannot be expressed in words. It can be understood, and realized through the experience. I ate the Sweet Barfee (sweet meal) given by you!"1 Jeevatma – the Individual soul2 Dev Loka – Abode of Gods.

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I informed him, “The complete state of stupor (dizziness) comes in the Dhyan. As a result, it becomes very difficult to come out of that state to perform the Agnihotra!”

He replied, “The time of the Agnihotra is more auspicious and important. We became aware of the fact that you had remembered us twice or thrice. So we made phone call. Do not go all alone anywhere. The work that you are doing now will be impossible to do after some days!”

“It is really true that I have no separate identity now! I have become one with Sadguru. I requested him to help me since my spinal cord is very weak. I had the intuitive feeling that he has just returned from the other place. And his phone came …”

3/10/2004 The meditation was all right at the dawn. The rays of bright

light were seen spreaded in the sky were seen speeding in the sky from the horizon. Yesterday, we went to Sou. Anushka’s parents. We went to see the temple of Lord Krishna at Pimpri. But it was closed. I felt bad about it. The temple of Jagnnath was seen in the dream. At the dawn the temple of Goddess Ambabai (Mahalaxmee) was seen. Goddess Ambabai’s auspicious Darshan took palce in the meditation. I was standing close to Goddess Jagdamba.

The laya existed in the stomach and the Mooladhar. All muscles were twisted. My entire body was aching today and the before. So I could not perform Sadhana for a long time. When the change occurs in the routine course and rules, everything goes wrong.

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4/10/2004 While reciting the Mantra and doing the Pranayam, the laya

was in the stomach. The laya started with full speed I closed my eyes while rendering my respect respectful obeisance to Sadguru and the lineage of Sadguru, the laya started rapidly! I sat straight automatically. I was feeling the rapid movement from the Mooladhar to the chest. It was going to the head through the spinal cord. The clusters of light were seen in the front of the eyes. The fragrance was coming. The “Shambhavi Mudra” was happened. for sometime. The state of stupor remained for sometime. The small blue coloured Balakrishna1 was seen crawling on the ground.

Later on a huge pot of Agnihotra was seen. There was fire in the pot. Instead of me there was flames of the fire. My existence was not there at all.

5/10/2004 The Meditation happened as usual. But my body was aching

because of kriyas. If I talk more, palpitations start in the heart. When I am in .Shavasana, I felt that Sadguru was holding my hand.

Kriyas were very powerful in the afternoon. Laya was slow but powerful. It was very subtle, minute (Sookhshma) in the Mooladhar.

Inspite of the detailed talk over the phone. On 2/10/2004, Sadguru’s mail had come today. Due to this unexpected mail, I felt very happy. He was talking in depth with great love and affection. His talk was quite promising and inspiring. I felt quite satisfied. He promised that he would speak again. He also felt very happy to 1 Balkrishna - The child form of God Shrikrishna.

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spaeak on the phone. He appreciated my feelings of surrender and devotion as “Beautiful”. He also remarked that my own observations, about him (Sadguru) are quite correct and genuine. He told that I will understand more about him when the proper time comes! He said that he would always remain present in my company inspite of his travels to different places.

6/10/2004 The laya was as usual, but my body aching very much

because of kriyas.

7/10/2004 The motion of the Laya was less at the dawn. There was

power in it but it was quite different. I did not do Sadhana in the afternoon. I felt a little feverish. All muscles were aching.

8/10/2004 The neck was moving circularly at the dawn. Then the laya

existed in the stomach. Today I was seated erect automatically. The laya was very forecful in the Mooladhar. Suddenly its speed increased more. Both thighs were lifted up and the laya started with great speed in the Mooladhar and the waist. The movement in the Mooladhar was like a fish that struggles for life, when it is taken out of water! Later on, all was quiet! The Mantra Japa started very peacefully.

The laya started in the Mooladhar in the afternoon. There was different kind of movement in the muscles of the stomach. The neck was moving. I had to bend dawn with the movement. It was like making a big circle around the waist when the movement

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started in the waist. The circle gradually became less. There was big movement in the Mooladhar.

9/10/2004 The laya was quite different during the meditation at the

dawn, The Himalaya Mountain was shining and looking red due to the rays of the rising sun.

10/10/2004 The laya and the Naad are going on continuously even in the

sleep also. I cannot relax immediately. I cannot sleep quickly. A different sensation is felt in the chest even if I walk four steps.

12/10/2004 The blowing of the conch and the sound of the bells are heard.

Mrs. Rashmi has arranged an exhibition for three days 14th, 15th, 16th October at Pune? She had sent an email to Shri Dada and invited him to attend the exhibition. He informed her that she should ask her mother (myself) to recite the Vyahruti Mantra, Saptashati Shlokas and Tri Satya Sharangatee in the hall at the opening ceremony of the exhibition. He also told her on phone, “When your mother is present, think that we are also present in her form. Our blessings are always there with you”. Rashmi told me later on, “The moment he spoke on phone, She felt a different kind of awakening, a different realization.

Today I Shri Sadguru. I said to him, “Its my great fortune that you have asked me to recite the mantras at the opening ceremony of Sou. Rashmee’s exhibition” I have realized that when I will start reciting the mantras, Sadguru himself will start reciting through my mouth. He said, “Suvarna, where are you now? Are you the

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master and the controller of your body and mind? We are the master of them now! So, when you are going to utter (recite) the mantra, our presence is included in it!” I also informed him about Rashmi’s experience of feeling a different sensation while talking to him on phone. He said, “Such things are to be experienced!!” Then I told him, “My body does not feel relaxed now a days. I cannot sleep quickly!” He answered, “Now you will have to face such situations quite often. Concentrate your entire attention on the Mantra Naad (Sound of the Mantra). Take rest. You have to move along with a completely filled auspicious Kalash (water vessel) on your head. But remember that not a single drop of water should be spilled out from it! Keep your attention on it with all your heart as it requires. Your Pran (living breath) should be involved and engrossed more completely in the Mantra and the Naad! Many Naad (sounds) will come. You will be not able to sleep while listening to them. Always remember, wherever Suvarna goes our presence is always there!! Take care!!

I told him that my brother’s wife Sou. Mahadevi is also performing Agnihotra. He remarked, “Good! It is a very good thing. We will visit her place when we come in December. When he told me that his programme of visit to India has been fixed, my joy knew no bounds. I was really thrilled with joy.

He also informed that he would stay in Houston from 23rd

October to 8th November. He has decided to stay at my cousin Priya’s place for some days. He has informed me about his complete programme on the Email. Then he said to me, “Although we are going there, we are constantly present with you. Do not feel worried! We will check the mail wherever we go!” How perfect and

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organised he is all in his work. My mind really feels very satisfied and happy when I talk to him!! He spoke to Sou. Anushka and informed me that Anushka seemed to be very happy.

13/10/2004 Today the laya was different at the time of meditation.

14/10/2004 Today I saw the flame of the burning lamp in the Dhyana.

That flame entered in my heart. The ‘Navaratra festival’ starts from today. Did my Sadguru lighten the Navaratree Nandadeep?

15/10/2004 Today I heard the sound of some Mantras recited in the

Anusthan at the dawn. It was the voice of Shri Sadguru. The laya was quite different at the time of mediation. After reciting the Mantras of the early morning, I rendered my obeisance to the fire in Agnihotra vessel. Suddenly the fire in the Agnihotra vessel started springing forward towards me. I became conscious and felt aware of its entry into my inner mind. The Holy Fire was my Sadguru only! I slept in Shavasana. Lots of Kriyas were already going on. Different movements were also going on inside the body. Suddenly I felt startled!

16/10/2004 Today I got up late at the dawn. During the last seven months,

I never got up so late although I was not well sometimes. (But today, for the first time this has happened). The laya was quite different. I understood nothing. Two green coloured sparkling ball

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of eyes were seen. When I slept in Shavasana, there was light before the eyes. I felt the touch of someone near the ear.

I performed the Sadhana in the evening. The Laya was different. There was not much movement of the body when the laya started. There was movement in the muscles of the stomach. The laya started moving in serpant like manner (zig – zag manner) around the spinal cord of the back.

17/10/2004 There is a change in the Laya. It is felt in the body but there

was no movement of the body. The light was seen before the eyes during the Shavasana.

18/10/2004 The laya existed today also. But there was no movement of

the body. The greenish but sparkling eyes were seen. Seven months are over today since I received the initiation from Sadguru. I remembered him very much today. I am feeling very anxious to meet him as early as possible.

There was full concentration during the Sadhana in the afternoon. The palms that were kept on the thighs were lifted up and placed on the neck. The neck was pulled up. Then both the hands were placed inside the ditch under the chin. There was pressure over there. There was movement in the waist. The sound of conch or something like that was heard.

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The laya was felt inside during the meditation at the dawn. I sat straight. The laya was quite minute in the Hruday Chakra. There was movement of the body during the laya in the afternoon.

20/10/2004 There was s stupor like state during the meditation at the

dawn. As I sat to do the Dhyana, it was clearly seen that Shri Sadguru was engrossed in the Dhyana too! There was a lot of rigorous movement due to the laya. My whole body was churning out. The whole body was moving very rapidly from the left and the right. I felt that Sadguru was holding both of my hands. When I was sleeping in the Shavasana, there was Sookshma (minute) laya in the heart.

21/10/2004 Today the laya was different at the dawn. The back side was

seen. Sadguru was seated for the Dhyana. His back was full of cracks. A line was seen through his spinal cord.

After that I saw that I am entering into the temple of our family goddess (Kuladevata) and going very deep inside. Then I entered into the Sanctuary (Gabhara1)! The divine lotus feet of the Goddess were seen! When I bowed to the lotus feet of the Sadguru, I saw the diamond foot finger rings and the anklets (toe – bells) in the fingers of his feet!

Dhyana happened spontaneously in the afternoon. There was Sookshma Laya in the Hruday Chakra.

25/10/2004

1 Gabhara – The inmost division of the temple, sanctuary.

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The meditation was quite profound and deep at the dawn. But I missed the Agnihotra. A flash of lightening was seen in the Mooladhar Chakra. After sometime, there was a flash of lightening in front of the eyes also. Nothing was felt in the Dhyana such as Laya, breath etc.

I asked Shri Sadguru today. He said, “You will see something more in the Dhyana. The Kriyas that are happening during the Sadhana are according to the expectation. It is a very good experience. Then he asked again, “Which mantra did you listen at the dawn?” But I was unable to give the answer because it was 3.30 AM at the dawn. I woke up with the sound of mantra. A thought just flashed in my mind at that time, “Oh! This is my Sadguru’s voice! He is performing Anusthan in my house!”

He responded quickly, “Yes! You are absolutely right! At present the Anusthan is going on everyday. We are doing for something for you also in that.”

Then I informed him my experience of feeling the sensation of his hand moving on my sinciput 3 – 4 times.

He said quickly, “Yes. Again you are right. You are absolutely correct. This is also true!! But as we were in hurry we were unable to send the mail!!”

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