she onced loved

8/13/2019 She Onced LOVED

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guilty again because a night before her call I drank too much and so with that I found myself falling hard asleep, flatdown and failed to give attention to my ringing phone). Her nerves filled with the poisonous element of boredom, shenaughtily guessed digits and se nt a message that goes this way Good morning! . Never did she expect that thosedigits would give a response but to her surprise after few minutes her phone vibrated. She lazily reached for her phoneand opened her inbox and there appeared unregistered digits with a message Whos this? At that precise moment,she doesnt know what and how to respond but her reflexes replied back to the message. Without any intent to say a lie,she honestly explained to that sender who is she and how did she come to know his digits.

At first, that guy didnt believe her and even told her Na other reason? So clich! but to save herself frombeing accused of telling a lie patiently sent that guy number of sorry messages. That guy did ask for her NASAL (in textlingo that means Name, Age, Sex, Address/Location), feeling obliged and wanting to make it up for the disturbance shehad caused that guy, she disclosed her particulars. On that day onwards, they continued exchanging messages. Withoutthe two of them seeing each other personally, that guy asked my girl if she can court her. I knew it, that guy failed to geta YES and need not necessary for me to know her reasons because I am totally aware of those! Wanna know why?Psshhh.. this is off the record, tell it and youll d ie! One day, I saw her writing on a mini-notebook with a cover journey,Im very curious on what shes writing on so I sat beside her. My main reason of knowing what are into that notebookwas set aside when I saw those smiles (Oh Mo! My heart) so I cont ented myself by simply looking at her. Shes soinnocent, really she is But one rainy day, I rushed towards that place but instead of seeing her that notebook flauntedbefore my eyes and without any second thought I opened it and it so happen that I came across that clause where sherevealed her reasons (tough reasons)of not allowing that guy to court her. But theres this tone I felt behind her everyline, I can feel between and behind those lines that she also has the thought of answering him yes but she just cantpermit her to. I dont know what to feel that time. Maybe a bit happy having known that shes not yet into relationshipwith that guy and one side within me is the burning jealousy to that guy. Truly, when you push yourself so hard to findthe truth either youll be glad knowing it or youll suddenly wish that you should have back off! This is not I want todiscover but that serves my right!

Days passed, I could only seldom see her and I already missed her voice. Maybe shes intosomething/somet hings. Never did my instinct nor sink into my nerves that shes up into someone. No need to guess orto break your head dude just to get the answer because obviously I am referring to my Rival! Jaired is his name!

One day, I saw her along the corridor bus y typing into her phone (theres this jealousy again, darn! I know it washim) and at that very moment I saw those glimmering smiles with her eyes sparkling. So gay that I described her thatway but damn it! Cant she feel me? I am now too obvious with my hidden feelings but for her it doesnt matter becauseit was only that guy whom she thinks about. Aish! I felt this hate for that unknown guy, yes hes xenon ! Ive never seenhim with that guy only messages via phone and Facebook are the proofs. So like you, maybe you wondered howsomeone can possibly fall in love with a person whom theyve never seen yet. So lame but thats how things happenedbetween those two hearts.

Seeing her happy a far makes me yellow too but I know deep within me Im just comfortin g myself.

Okay! Back to their story! After having read those on her notebook (okay I know what you are thinking I invadedher privacy but I cant refrain myself from discovering everything about her especially that reality strikes me that shes in love with that Jaired), I headed straight to her apartment. I planned to go against her happiness but it kills me the more Ido it. In a sudden snap, I found her unleashing herr feelings for that guy (I remained silent and somehow I pity myself! Sogay again!). An d to my surprise my arms moved and hugged her so tight whispering to her ears if you want to maybeyou can also allow yourself to fall in love, you deserved it too. and from there I slowly unwrapped my arms around heras a sign of letting her give her heart to that guy but I did not totally quit from loving her. Laugh at me now, I simply lovehurting myself..but the bottom line is I LOVE HER SO MUCH! Im willing to sacrifice everything for her. I know its a sinfor me to love her more than friends but I m also a victim of love and chance like her.

After that conversation, I headed straight to the door and waved at her. The following day, she ran towards meand after which those words slapped me. Ney! It mustnt be, but I dont have the right to appeal here Im only a friend!Haay! Nafriendzone ako dre! Jahe! I muttered to myself while I am drowning my throat and stomach with those drinksthat cant even numbed my heart. Youre correct! Theyre now into a relationship, officially before their knowledgethere are official boyfriend-girlfriend! Why only before their knowledge? They decided to be in a relationship with hercondition that it must be secret.

Few months after becoming officially committed, the guy sent her a message saying hey babe! Im leaving justso you know for a month or a couple of months I guess. Just wait for me, Ill be back soon. I love you. Good bye! Just

being left with that message yet still she remained loyal to that guy. They may be miles away from each other but my girlpatientl y as always waited for him. I wish shes mine not his! When will this wish be granted? Here I am againdaydreaming! Genie help me!


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Its been a couple of months since that guy left (you might be confused, let me clear it out, up to this time theyhavent seen each other personally yet). Its been long months for her. Within those months/during those months, thatguy never failed to message her via FB , at least hes making it up to her. But days went by and that guy slowly waveredso sudden again that the s ound of music of their love went in a sloppy rhythm, but wait again scratch that word theirthere, it must only be his.

One night, time check 11:45 pm, nearing midnight, her chat box popped up and that guy with his msg. thiswould be the last time Ill msg. you shocked my girl. Shes about to reply when that guy unfriend her and even blockedher so with that she cant have a conversation with him leaving her hanging. Leaving his promises just mere promises.Hes so mean, jerk and unfair! Why did he all ow her waiting be coupled with pain? I may not know his filthy reasons whyhe did that but once I knew that hes not serious with my girl he will surely face my fist (but again its impossible for meby this time because I even dont know his real identity). I dont know whos my rival is? Darn that guy!

Night passed by, all I can hear were those cries coming from her. If maybe I am to calculate those it would belitres now. I hate to know why shes crying and if only I had protected her shes not as misera ble as that.

She was about to move on when one day that guy using his cousins digits texted my girl. She once felt againhow fast her heart palpitates, horses are running over her chest but she suddenly pouted and I saw how disappointed

she was as she foc used her eyes onto her phones screen. After few minutes, she managed to reply to that msg. and inthe concluding part she asked that guy if he really did love her. I saw how she smiled genuinely after reading that guysreply. Guess what? That guy replied yes and even added that until that time he still does. That sounded not good andgotcha shes hoping again that theyll patch things between them.

Curiosity hits her when she ends up checking on that guys particulars. Having spotted of the inconsistenci es, sheimmediately texted that guy unfortunately that guy didnt give a damn. My girl is kind of best actress in school; she didpretend that shes as if okay.

Two weeks after, the guy replied (wow! Really have to wait huh? VIP) youre STUPID! I just pl ayed you, yourfeelings! Everything was just a game! Get it? So quit! What did he just say? He just fooled the girl I promised myself thelast person Ill ever hurt on earth! That bastard! I can feel how broken she was. Shes miserable and cant even conv inceherself to move on nor get over from those words. Oh my! Her heart rested in pieces and the only thing I wanted to dothat time is to be her band aide and mend her broken pieces. I really wanted to but who am I? I am just a FRIEND!However, at the end of the day I decided to love her still more than she knew.

By now, I cant show her my motive of courting her because Im afraid of being rejected and besides shes still onthe process of moving on from the post-traumatic event in her life.

Want to know how she was now? Shes moving on by means of repeating to herself not to dare to love againbecause love hurts big time (see! I told you, I might be rejected). She started to be irked by guys so it turned out that

shes a man hater now. I can see those tea rs behind her every petty smile.

By now again, just like the old times I still love her silently. If only, if only she feels my love too

Now, I beg you not to judge her but instead help her get over that dark page and so she can go back to the wayshe u sed before. Dont blame her. Shes just once a victim and she just ONCE LOVED!

S[H][E] BE[L][I][E]VE[D]!

Those lose lies of that guy SHE ONCE LOVED!

Fake lover-----she just shattered her heart

BUT SHE JUST ONCE LOVED!!

P.S.

If this be published and i f ever youll have the chance to read this this note is for you..

Pardon me if I love you in the way it mustnt be but believed me this is real and this is for real no jokes, no lies just pure love. Btw, I have seen his picture while I browse over your inbox (sorry for invading again) and Im gonna lookfor him and let h im feel my knuckles all over his body. Gonna let him taste the misery you felt because of him. Im notcertain when will I be back but can you promise me that youll stay strong? I hate to see you shedding tears, so youmustnt, if you dare to you wont s ee this handsome face anymore (hahaha.. Am I that conceited? But that was just a joke).. Hmmmm.. this will sound so gay, pathetic pitiful and demanding but may I have your heart when Im back?


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Promise! Cross my heart! Hope to die! I wont hurt you cause I love you very much.. and that would not change (wouldis too weak let me say it this way, will never change double ruled)

With much love and sincerity,

Your lad forever

she onced loved

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