sh’vat - nisan 5779 etz chayim...2019/02/03 · first jewish month, the beginning of jewish...

ETZ chayimConnecting Jewish FamiliesGeneration To Generation

FEBRUARY - APRIL 2019

Etz Chayim Progressive SynagoguePhone: 9563 9208 Fax: 9557 9880

Email: [email protected] Web: www.etzchayim.org.au

SH’VAT - NISAN 5779

BE SURE TO JOIN IN OUR

PURIM CELEBRATIONS

AND THE EVER POPULAR

WOMEN’S SEDER!

IN THIS ISSUEWhat’s On .........................................2-3President’s Update ............................4Rabbi’s Words ......................................6 Afterschool Education ...................8-9Discussion Night ............................... 10Colouring Pages .......................... 12-13Chaggim Recipes ........................ 14-15Life Events ..................................... 16-17Reflections ..................................... 18-19 Notices & Upcoming Events ...20-22Calendar ......................................23-25

2 HAKOL | Feb - Apr 2019

What’s OnFEBRUARY

Saturday 2 February, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with Rabbi Allison

Tuesday 4 February, 2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah

Thursday 7 February, 4 - 6pm Hebrew & Religion School Program - Term 1 starts


Sunday 10 February9.30am Coffee & Bagels10am sharp Etz Chayim AGM

Tuesday 12 February, 2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah

Wednesday 13 February, 4.30 - 6pmB’nei Mitzvah Class

Thursday 14 February, 4 - 6pm Hebrew & Religion School Program

Saturday 16 February, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with Noel Hall OAM & Phillip Coleman

Tuesday 19 February, Purim Katan2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah



Friday 22 February, 6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat followed by dairy pot luck dinner


Tuesday 26 February, 10am – 12pmCuppa Club with guest speaker Pam Spiegel



MARCH

Saturday 2 March, 10am Shabbat Morning Service

Tuesday 5 March, 2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah

Wednesday 6 March, 4.30 - 6pmB’nei Mitzvah Class

Thursday 7 March, 4 - 6pm Hebrew & Religion School Program

Saturday 9 March, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with Rabbi Allison

Monday 11 March Labour Day Public Holiday – Office Closed







3Etz Chayim Progressive Synagogue

continued...Thursday 21 March, PURIM4 - 5pm Hebrew & Religion School Program5 - 7pm Purim Celebrations

Saturday 23 March, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with Peter Esdale and Noel Hall OAM

Tuesday 26 March, 10am – 12pmCuppa Club with guest speak Michael Galak


Friday 29 March, 6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat followed by dairy pot luck dinner


Sunday 31 March, 6.30 - 10.30pm Women’s Seder

APRIL

Tuesday 2 April, 2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah

Thursday 4 April, 4 - 6pm Hebrew & Religion School Program - last class for Term 1

Saturday 6 April, 10am Shabbat Morning Service

Saturday 13 April, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with David Bloom

Friday 19 April, Erev Pesach Good Friday - Public Holiday

Saturday 20 April, Pesach Day 110am Shabbat Morning Service with Rabbi Allison Sunday 21 April, Pesach Day 21st Day of the Omer

Monday 22 April, Pesach Day 32nd Day of the OmerEaster Monday - Public Holiday

Tuesday 23 April, 2 - 3pm Adult Education - Pondering the Parsha & Talking Tefillah

Thursday 25 April, ANZAC Day Public Holiday

Friday 26 April, 6.30pm Kabbalat Shabbat (no pot luck dinner following the service this month due to Pesach)

Saturday 27 April, 10am Shabbat Morning Service with Rabbi Allison

Tuesday 30 April, 10am – 12pmCuppa Club


President’s Update

Maureen Barten

Feeling rested and rejuvenated and still wanting to linger in the summer sun till late into yet another beautiful Melbourne evening….

Having taken much needed time to stop working and just be, it’s been a bit difficult to ramp things up again. I’m wondering how many of you feel the same way? Easing into the new year we’ve had our first board meeting of 2019 and a few planning meetings; Rabbi and I caught up with a beautiful walk along the beach earlier this week; and the annual report is well underway in preparation for our AGM in less than two weeks-time. So – from rest to maybe 70km/h this week. Next week promises to be more like 120km/h!

Highlighting just a few things here as the Annual Report will be full of juicy details- I’d like to first make some important acknowledgements:

First to Eva – our intrepid Hakol Producer. Each issue she waits – more like prays – that articles and flyers and all the required content will arrive on time. Who knows – even early once in a blue moon??? And each month, cool and calm and collected, she waits. Sometimes longer than other times but all the time, she miraculously produces one more amazing issue after another. We are truly grateful for her dedication, excellence of work and PATIENCE above all! Thank you, Eva, for being you!

To Barbara, for keeping the office running smoothly and important notices and weekly newsletters up to date for all of us while Samantha and Harriet were on leave. And mostly, as our HaKol Editor, for working alongside Eva, meticulously proofreading everything that goes to print. And graciously she chases some of us for our contributions… and waits. Sometimes longer than other times, but all the time, she too is miraculous in her work and gets everything turned in to Eva so the process flows. Thank you so much Barbara!

To Frank, who worked tirelessly these last few months, liaising with Noel over building damage and repair as well as organising various security matters and liaising with Zohar, David and CSG – ensuring Etz Chayim is operating with best practice. Thank you so much.

To Noel, for working all summer long protecting our seriously rain damaged shule. Thank you, Noel, for organising workmen, insurance, unending back and forth phone calls, emails and trips to Etz Chayim, and ultimately for taking care of drying out the damaged carpet and floor and making everything good again.

It is the membership of our community that makes us so special.

I am delighted to share with you that Etz Chayim placed a new Machzor order for 188 High Holiday sets. 138 were purchased by members and we have purchased an additional 50 for others to purchase. Additionally we are very grateful to TBI who has purchased a large number of additional sets and which we are welcome to purchase when and as required. It will be very exciting to use the new Machzor this year – which has been written specifically for our southern hemisphere Australasian community.

This year we are very excited to be partnering with UJEB building a dynamic afterschool Hebrew and Jewish Studies Program. UJEB brings enormous resources and incredible program with very experienced teachers. They will be running classes on Thursdays from 4-5:30pm. Rabbi Allison will be meeting with the entire group of students from 5:30-6pm for tefillah, story-telling and singing. UJEB will work together with Rabbi to maintain a connection with our congregation and the integrity of our Jewish values. Parents are invited for a meet and greet with Rabbi Allison and the UJEB Team on Thursday 7th Feb at 5:15pm.

Finally, I would like to extend a very warm welcome home to Rabbi and her family, who spent the summer travelling to California visiting family, to Nevada, then to Sydney and finally home. It always feels a bit empty when Rabbi is away, and I’m so pleased our house is full again! We missed you and we are so glad to see you rested, rejuvenated and very beautifully tanned too!

I’ll save the rest for the Annual Report. We are looking forward to seeing you Sunday morning 10th Feb – please join us at 9:30 for bagels and coffee and 10am prompt start.

Here’s to a terrific year ahead!

B’shalom,Maureen


Our Community

When: Sunday, 31st of March, 2019Time: 6pm for 6:30 prompt startWhat: 4 Course Kosher L’Pesach Seder MealCost: $45 members & $55 non-members

RSVP EssentialTo book visit https://www.trybooking.com/BAQNT Come and experience something truly unique. An exploration of women’s struggle from oppression to freedom. This year, we’ll be sharing our Jewish women’s journey with women from different cultural backgrounds, hearing their stories of over overcoming oppression. A night to remember with stories and recipes to bring to your family sederim.

Etz Chayim’s5th Annual Women's Seder

SAVE THE DATEfor


The wisdom of our ancestors can be found in the structure of the Jewish calendar - a beautiful fusion between the acknowledgement and celebration of

nature through the seasons and the human capacity to create meaning from past and present experiences that transcend time and space. Our experience of the Jewish year is both personal and communal, unique and regular. Though the weeks, seasons, and festivals occur annually, our experience of them and the meaning we attribute to them changes with time, age, community, and each individual.

The structure of the Jewish calendar is ingenious. First of all, we have four starts to our year, which can be (loosely) interpreted as four opportunities to begin again. We have Rosh Hashanah (1st of Tishrei), which is the New Year celebrating the creation of the world. Tu B’Shvat (15th of Shvat), celebrated this year on the 21st of January, is the New Year for the trees, celebrating nature and rebirth. The 1st of Nisan (two weeks before Pesach) celebrates the coronation of the new king, acknowledging the New Year for leadership change. It is also the first Jewish month, the beginning of Jewish counting of time. And the 1st of Elul is the New Year for taxes. Creation, nature & rebirth, leadership, and financial responsibility are four elements that our early rabbinic sages declared as times of acknowledgement, celebration, and new beginnings. I understand that these four New Years remind us to appreciate where we came from, the elements around us that have sustained us, the people that have led and guided us, and our responsibility to contribute to our communities and society to ensure its future. Don’t miss our AGM, 10th of February @ 10am to help us celebrate where we’ve come from, acknowledge those who have sustained us, choose the leadership to guide us and renew our commitment to a prosperous future.

But that’s not all. After Tu B’Shvat, our next festival is Purim (14th of Adar). This festival was added later, sprinkled in to remind us to have fun, lighten up, be silly, and celebrate our Jewishness. Although most consider Purim to be a children’s holiday, it carries with it very adult messages. A psychospiritual message: Be aware of who we are and who we pretend to be. Hiding behind appearances or insecurities could have detrimental consequences.

Being true to ourselves will be our salvation. A Jewish peoplehood message: Assimilation may appear to grant complete acceptance, but again, beware of the antisemitism that lurks beneath the surface. Hiding our Jewishness or giving up on our Jewish practice or identity may entail sacrificing more than we think. Being proud of our Jewish heritage, passing on our Jewish traditions can bring with it great rewards. Don’t miss our Purim celebration on Thursday 21st March at 5.30pm.

Pesach (15th of Nisan), corresponding to the 20th of April, 2019, is actually the first Jewish holiday of the year in the first Jewish month. The months began as the individual Jewish tribes became a single people. Pesach celebrates the Exodus from Egypt, the journey from captivity and

oppression towards freedom. It reminds us that freedom doesn’t just come, but must be achieved. It reminds us to dream and believe in what might not seem possible. It reminds us that we are stronger together than alone. Don’t miss our 5th

Annual Women’s Seder this year on Sunday 31st March at 6.30pm.

The Omer and Lag B’Omer (the 33rd day of the Omer), which is the period of time counting from the second day of Pesach until Shavuot, reminds us to count up, not down, to our goals. It reminds us that going from where we are to where we want to be takes time and involves sacrifice. We must offer something to receive something worthwhile. Don’t miss our Lag B’Omer bonfire and festivities this year on Wednesday 22nd May at 5.30pm.

Shavuot (6th of Nisan) celebrates the giving and receiving of Torah at Mt. Sinai. It reminds us that even in the middle of nowhere, if we are open, we can receive insight. It reminds us that we may all hear the same words, yet interpret them differently. True understanding comes from sharing different perspectives, appreciating both commonalities and differences, growing individually and together, and strengthening community. Don’t miss our Shavuot celebration this year on Saturday 8th June at 5.30pm.

Rabbi’s WordsCelebrating the Uniquely Ordinary - The Ingenuity of the Jewish Calendar

Allison RH Conyer

As long as the Jewish spirit survives, the Jewish people will survive. As long as our

inner spirit survives, we will prevail.


continued...Tisha B’Av (the 9th of Av) commemorates the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, serving as a reminder of all the calamities that have befallen our people. It also reminds us that we can be destroyed from both the inside and the outside time and time again. And yet, we can be built back up again in different ways, sometimes weaker, sometimes stronger, but we should never give up hope. As long as the Jewish spirit survives, the Jewish people will survive. As long as our inner spirit survives, we will prevail.

And then comes the Yamim Noraim – the Days of Awe or the High Holy Days (1st – 22nd of Tishrei). From Rosh Hashanah through Shmini Atzeret/Simchat Torah, we engage in personal and communal reflection and evaluation – our best and our worst, cleanse our souls, and celebrate the world and all that is in it, all that has come from it, and our place in the process.

Herein lies the ingenuity of the Jewish calendar. I look forward to celebrating the uniquely ordinary markers of time and meaning with you as this year unfolds.

SAVE THE DATEE T Z C H A Y I M 2 0 1 9 A G M

ETZ CHAY IM 2019 AGMW I L L B E H E L D

SUNDAY , FEBRUARY 10TH , 20 199 : 3 0 A M C O F F E E & B A G E L S

10 :00AM PROMPT START

PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDAR AND PLAN TO ATTEND!


Beit Sefer Chayim


etz chayim b'nei mitzvah programit's back and better than ever!

Wednesdays from 4:30 - 6pm

Commencing 13th of February

A fusion of learning and living Judaism * Creating relevant meaning for Jewish traditions in this current stage of life

* Personalise our traditional prayers * Learn to read from the Torah, lead part of the Shabbat service,

and deliver a d'var torah * Learn about Israel, Shoah, Jewish life cycles and history

* Discuss Jewish Ethical Dilemmas * Discuss Jewish Ethical Dilemmas * Visit significant Jewish places, such as the Holocaust and Jewish Museums

* Participate in our wider Jewish community, such as In One Voice, and the Yom HaAtzmaut Festival

* Actively volunteer with your b'nei mitzvah group * Have fun, meet new people, and experience the joys of Jewish community

It's Modern, Egalitarian, Engaging, and Perfect for You!

SIGN UP NOW!!

Contact Rabbi Allison for more [email protected] or 9563 9208

Bnei Mitzvah Classes


Discussion Night We had our final discussion night for 2018 on Thursday 29th November, and it was attended by a new record of 17 people. It was great to see those who hadn’t attended before which added to the feisty discussions that took place.

The first question raised was whether there could be a Jewish Holocaust again. The word Jewish was put in as by just saying holocaust, it could be argued that there are, and have been, other countries that have experienced mass killings.

But we were keeping it to our own people for the purpose of this hot topic. There was no firm answer but although we can never say never again, it was believed that we are living in a different time to Nazi Germany. With the proliferation of social media and media in general, it would be more difficult to keep the rising of a Nazi Germany a secret from the world. But another huge support which we, as a Jewish people now have, is the State of Israel. We now have a place to call OUR homeland.

This then led to another topic which integrated with the first one. Are we heading for a worldwide Muslim caliphate? It was discussed that if this was a threat, then the chance of a holocaust against our people had more of a chance of success.

Europe and the UK were mentioned as areas where Jews feel so much more threatened than a few years ago. So can this grow out of control? Who knows?

We took a break at this time and enjoyed coffee and evening snacks before we moved onto the very touchy and emotional topic of family violence, child and sexual abuse in our community.

Kathy Kaplan, from Impact for Women, spoke of the worrying statistics and what her organization is trying

to do to help those in need. The conversation got rather heated and at times, emotional, but I think we all left feeling a bit more aware of the different types of abuse felt by those affected.It was decided before the meeting that the gold coins collected during the year should go to a group close to our hearts and we presented Kathy with our takings for the year for Impact for Women.

It was also great that two teenagers (my daughter Jessica and Avishai Conyer) attended. It was enlightening to hear their views on the topics discussed and Judaism in general.

I did mention to them that they will soon be out of their Jewish bubble of friends and will experience some form of anti-semitism out in the big, bad world.

Avishai mentions how proudly he wears his kippah even though he has to contend with derogatory comments from outsiders. I think they both spoke very impressively.

And before we finish for the year, I would like to thank my wife Mazal for supporting me in this new venture we undertook this year and for all her assistance in setting up

the food and beverages for the evenings.

Of course, a big thank you to those who attended and contributed throughout the year and we look forward to seeing you, and many others again, in the near future.

And so ended the discussion at about 10pm and we now look forward to the first one in 2019 on Thursday 7th February.

Dan PollTreasurer & Discussion Night Host


Notice from the Council


A Purim Colouring Page


and one for Pesach


Delicious Chaggim Recipes...Almond and Orange Cake

Ingredients:2 large oranges - boil for 2 hours in small amount of water, cool then food process/blend6 eggs - beaten250 gm almond meal250 gm sugar1 teaspoon baking powder

Directions:Mix all ingredients together and bake at 190o for 1 hour or until set on top.If very wet may need to a bit longer.I used a large pan and it was ready in less than the hour.

Hamantashen Servings: about 20 Ingredients:2 eggs1/2 cup oil2/3 cup sugar1 t vanilla2 t baking powder2 1/2 cups flourJam, chocolate spread, poppy seeds, prunes or other desired fillings

Directions:• Cream together sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla. • Slowly add flour and baking powder and mix together. • The dough might be crumbly, use your hands to smooth it out and combine it. (If the dough is sticky add an additional 1/4 cup flour) • Roll out dough on floured surface (about 1/4 to 1/8 thick. Not too thick since then the circles are hard to shape and will open up. Not too thin since then it will rip when shaping or filling) • Cut out circles using a donut cutter, cookie cutter or the rim of a large glass cup. • Fill centre of circle with desired filling (about 1/2 tsp) and bake on 180o for 8 to 12 minutes depending on how soft or crispy you want them.

* Notes on shaping hamantashen: Place filling in centre then slowly fold over one side. Then the next and finally bring the bottom on top. Gently pinch the corners.

Pesach BiscuitsServings: Approx. 50 biscuits per quantity

Ingredients:1 Quantity 2 Quantities125gm butter 250gm¾ cup castor sugar 1 ½ cups1 cup super fine matzo meal 2 cups1 cup finely chopped nuts 2 cups1 egg 2 eggs1 dash cinnamon 2 dashes

Directions:1. Pre-heat oven to 170o (fan-forced).2. Well-grease 2 – 3 trays and put aside.3. Cream butter and sugar. 4. Add beaten egg. 5. Add remaining ingredients. Mix well. 6. Roll in small balls and bake in a moderate oven for 25 minutes.7. When cold, store in an airtight container.


and a Pesach tale...Many times I have been upset by people who seem to think that gefilte fish is some kind of mixture you make in the kitchen rather than one of the Lord's creatures.

This has led me to explain exactly what a gefilte fish is. So here goes:Each year as soon as the frost on the Great Gefilte Lakes (located upstate New York somewhere in the Catskill Mountains) is thin enough to break the surface, Frum (observant) fishermen set out to "catch" gefilte fish.

Now unlike your normal fish, gefilte fish cannot be caught with a rod and a reel or your standard bait. The art of catching gefilte fish was handed down for hundreds, maybe thousands, of years.

For all I know Moses used to go gefilte fish catching. I'm sure that the Great Rambam (Maimonides), when he wasn't busy playing doctor, spent his leisure time Gefilte fishing.

Enough already, you say, so how is it done? Well you go up to the edge of the lake with some Matzo. Now this is very important!! It has to be Manischewitz Matzo or the fish will not be attracted.

You stand at the edge of the lake and whistle and say, "Here boy!" "Here boy!" The fish just can't resist the smell of the Matzo. They come together to the edge of the lake where they jump into the jars and are bottled on the spot.

You must remember that there are two kinds of gefilte fish: The strong and the weak.

The weak are your standard fish which are in a loose "broth" (it is actually the lake water). Now the strong are special. They seem to be in a "jell." These fish are actually imported from the Middle East where they are caught in the Dead Sea. They have to be strong to be able to swim through that "jell."

Last year, a well meaning gentleman tried to correct me by stating, "Shouldn't they be saying 'Here Boychick!?'" I didn't have the heart to tell him that Boychick is a Yiddish word and Gefilte Fish don't understand Yiddish --only Hebrew and surprisingly, English! There has been a big debate as to whether to use the Hebrew or English in the US.

With a big break from tradition, shockingly the English is accepted by almost all Gefiltefishermen. Some still insist on using the Hebrew and consider the use of "Here Boy" as Reform and not acceptable. However the Congress of Orthodox Union Rabbis (who have to be present at the lakes when the fish are bottled) uniformly accept "Here boy!"

The time of the catch is very important! The fish cannot be caught before Purim is over or the fish are considered Chumetz! Besides, the fish know when Pesach is coming, and will not respond to the Matzo before the proper time.

I am still a little bothered by which end of the fish is the head and which the tail (not to mention that I am not sure where their eyes are). This is a small price to pay for the luxury of eating this delicacy. Have you ever had the baby Gefilte Fish? Oy, they are so cute that I feel a little guilty eating them!

CHAROSET IIQuantity: Enough for 10 people

Ingredients:100gm pitted dates50gm chopped nuts50ml wine1/5 cup mixed spice2 granny smith apples

Method:Process dates, add wine and mixed spice.Remove from processor.Grate apples.Mix all together.

CHAROSET I Ingredients:500gms grated apples140gms chopped nuts2 teaspoons CinnamonShabbat wine

Method:• Combine first three ingredients.• Add wine until desired consistency.


Yartzeits

1 - 9 FEBRUARY

Hilda Joan Crawcour sister of Michael CrawcourClaire Isaacs mother of Robyn Ann SharpEric Kahn brother of Walter KahnIlse Abrams grandmother of Nicholas KollinerIda Mohrenwitz grandmother of Bernard MooreDoris Crawcour mother of Michael CrawcourFritz Suran father of Ilse Sherwin

10 - 16 FEBRUARY

William Peter Simpson father of Sarah DavisMargot Abrams mother of Zilla RothVivienne Green wife of Robert GreenHelen Windholz mother of Vera Freidin & grandmother of Kathy KaplanVera Felicia Kleniec sister of Eva LehnerDoris Joseph mother of Brian Joseph

17 - 23 FEBRUARY

Fenton Hall brother of Noel Hall OAMAlice Victoria Hall mother of Noel Hall OAMRaya Kanter sister-in-law of Rosa KanterHilde Kay mother of Greta EisfelderMagda Nanasi mother of Mary Reicher

24 - 28 FEBRUARY

Belle Ruby Jones aunt of Faye Kirkwood

1 - 9 MARCH

Jayme Reifman grandfather of Mara ReifmanRon Bearman brother-in-law of Ruth BearmanBelinda O’Gorman granddaughter of Ilse SherwinLeah Miller mother of Beatrice MillerMiriam Morley mother of Ruth BearmanLeah Barlin mother of Edith Ornellas & grandmother of Shaun OrnellasJoseph Morley father of Ruth BearmanRebecca Ostovsky great-aunt of Michael Galak

10 - 16 MARCH

Millie Lewis wife of Barry John LewisTrudy Nathan mother of Janet Levi-CohenLouis Segal father of Yvonne Segal

Life EventsYartzeits

17 - 23 MARCH

Kathy Lancaster wife of Maureen Barten’s fatherValerie Leah Maltz mother of Jonathan MaltzGodel Mydlarz father of Henry Mydlarz

24 - 31 MARCH

Kenneth Barten father of Maureen BartenMarcus Coleman father of Phillip ColemanGizella Berenyi aunt of Mary ReicherHeinz Abrams father of Zilla Roth & grandfather of Nicholas KollinerPhoebe Finkelstein mother of Peter FinkelsteinLouis Horace Green father of Robert Green

1 - 6 APRIL

Gottfried Popper grandfather of Ronald Israel PopperJan King wife of Geoffrey KingAnka Moskovic mother of Edith WinogradMinna Segal (nee Morris) grandmother of Ilana OrnellasRobert Feigin husband of Monica Feigin& father of Alexander FeiginNettie Feldman mother of Judith FeldmanAbraham Snyder brother-in-law of Greta EisfelderSamuel Cohen father of Shirley Spero

7 - 13 APRIL

Solomon Reicher father of Marek ReicherEnid Elizabeth Scott mother of Sandra MyersFrances Sullivan sister of Lorraine Ercegg

14 - 20 APRIL

Ora Segal (nee Indikt) mother of Ilana OrnellasRachel Aarons mother of Julia FinkelsteinSheila Zivin mother of Kerri GuyFred Beecher father of Monica FeiginJohn Gresham step-father of Gerald Kevin SabelMarion Blumberg sister of Walter KahnLouis Barnett Goldstein father of Theodore Goldstein

21 - 27 APRIL

Gretl Gresham mother of Gerald Kevin SabelArthur Heymanson father-in-law of Noel Hall OAMNaureen Hughes sister of Lorraine ErceggKennneth Stanley Barten father of Maureen BartenJacob Joseph Maltz father of Jonathan Maltz


February Anniversaries

Keith & Fanny Hoffman, Richard & Sarah Davis, Lewis & Jenny Bearman, David & Suzanne Langley, Graham & Mary Gilbert, Peter & Helen Felder, Buck Rosenberg & Isabelle de Solier, Marisa Mowszowski & Matthew Ellis, Sonja & Ben Rink, Max & Mrs Robyn Freilich

March Birthdays

Juliana Levine, Gil Dromi, Leslie Webb, Joseph Kahn, Carolyn Patkin Watters, Eva Betts, Paula Bloom, Leila Kleiman, Helen Wolff, Brendan Guy, Margaret Mendoza, Ziv Dromi, Joshua Sacks, Queenie Haskin, Janet Green, Asher Mendoza, Faye Patkin, Niv Salkind, Ruth Myers, Melissa Popper, Debra Zivin, Margaret Gonshor, Beatrice Miller

March Anniversaries

Otto & Eva Ash, Colin & Lyn Benson, Monty & Leila Kleiman, Philip Levy & Rosemary Chang, Derek & Queenie Haskin, Phillip & Beatrice Coleman, Noel Hall OAM & Barbara Hall, Frank Moore & Yvette Bentata-Moore, Daniel Poll & Mazal Langley, David & Debra Zivin, Horst & Greta Eisfelder

April Birthdays

Daniel Gocs, Otto Ash, Marom Schell, Myra Mendleson, Cheryl Gelfand, Benjamin Levy-Chang, Samara Glickman, Rosa Mowszowski, Louis Lubman, David Slade, Holly Watters, Shaun Ornellas, Olivia Mendoza, Mordechai Ishay, Elian Thiele-Evans, Benjamin Gonshor, John Levine, Francesca Kuperman, Daniel Goldberg, Jasmine Haskin, David Menahem, Barry Lewis, Eva Lehner, Lior Kalisse, Ilana Ornellas, Johanna Eisfelder

April Anniversaries

Shaun & Ilana Ornellas, Gerry & Dina Sabel, Gary & Ruth Trytell, Sean & Desiree Sacks

Yartzeits

28 - 30 APRIL

Ita Shapiro mother of Rosa Kanter

We are grateful to all of our donors. Your support is vital to ensure our continuity. Contributions may be made in memoriam, to honour others, in gratitude and in celebration. Each month we acknowledge with sincere thanks the gifts made by our congregants and friends.

Recent Donations - Thank you!Lorraine Abel, Freda Trytell, Margaret Gonshor, Pam Spiegel, Margaret Llewellyn, Noel Hall OAM, Lewis Myers, Myer Abrahams, Faye Patkin, Peter Gonshor, Ruth & Gary Trytell, Vera Unger, Rodney & Suzie Eisfelder, Abe & Irene Gold, Elaine King, Geoff King David Menahem, David Zivin, Beatrice & Phillip Coleman, Mr & Mrs Cook, Dr & Mrs Monheit, Ian and Faye Kirkwood, Faye Patkin, Eva Lehner, Horst Eisfelder, Judith Feldman

February Birthdays

Roza Kanter, Mikaela Webb, Ashley Watters, Ruth Bearman, Jenny Bearman, Robert Green, Michael Trytell, Judith Firestone, Gabriel Harari, Lewis Myers, Malcolm Myers, Gary Trytell, Lillian Harris, Sallyann Kirkwood, Yvonne Segal, Henry Mydlarz, Dorothy Payne, Jemma Wines, Myer Abrahams, David Bloom, Max Freilich, Rayne Harari, Valentina Galak, Rebecca Trytell, Zilla Roth, Nicholas Kolliner, Robyn Freilich, Eva Ash, Heinz Wolff, Dana Gonshor, Danny Glickman, David Langley


Reflections...The greatest threat to Judaism is tradition!As a Jewish mother, when my son was diagnosed with autism at the age of two, my question was not whether he would be Bar-Mitzvahed, but whether he would ever understand that I love him.

As time progressed, and we worked fiercely on developing Beau through his hurdles, communication, expression and understanding, I started to see some gaps within the ideology of the religion I was raised with.

I was raised in a fairly orthodox way. We went to Shul for every simcha and high holy day, sleeping at my grandparents’ house to ensure that we could walk to shule. We observed all the rituals and traditions that went along with this, and I didn’t question it as a child. In fact, looking back, I have intense memories of watching my parents fast while I had a small snack to get me through the day (I must have been very young). I remember processing the information my parents gave me about how young children, the elderly and pregnant people were exempted from doing anything that would put them at risk, and I felt great pride in belonging to a religion so accommodating and caring.

However, the style of religion I was raised with was “all bones and no meat”, there was no flexibility to the law! But I grew older and was able to choose my own thoughts and ideology as well as the level I participated at.

In my 20’s I had a baby boy. We had his bris and all my dreams were coming true. By the time he was two years old we already had a diagnosis. My beautiful Beau had autism, and I knew that there would be so many challenges ahead of us. But what I was not prepared for was the challenge my religion presented to me.

It was not until my autistic son was old enough to participate in family simchas that I noticed there was a problem. Although my religion allows for pregnant women, the elderly and the very ill it would seem that these exceptions did not apply to my son.

When he was a baby I used to feed him before we all met for the Pesach. My son only eats five foods and has done so since he was two years old. The bane of my life is his diet, as you can imagine for any Jewish mother to have a child who doesn’t eat - I can tell you, it’s far more distressing than you are even imagining now. Before the diagnosis, I was always told don’t worry, he’s just a fussy child, he will never starve himself to

death… And I believed them until the day he nearly did.

For the first few years, when he was a toddler, I would feed him before each Seder. A big bowl of Weetbix would usually hold him out until I had to take him home to bed. But as the years progressed, and the more I tried to teach him to sit at the table with us and understand what was happening, the more difficult it became. Now I can imagine you’re thinking it was difficult due to his condition… It was not.

When Beau was eight, I had put so much time into having him involved in the Seder I was truly so excited. This year he would sit at the table and read from the Haggadah with everyone, just like everyone!

Unfortunately, that was not to be. I arrived at my mother’s to find she had not even set a place for him at the table, and before dinner when I mentioned that I would need to put some food on for him she looked at me in horror! “You can’t feed him Chametz in this house!” Needless to say, the

‘mother’ of all Jewish fights broke out. “Seder goes for five hours” I explained, “he can’t have no food all night!” I screamed. “Give him a banana” was the reply.“I’m not feeding my child a banana for a five hour dinner, he needs more“... and so on and so on.

As you can imagine I was angry and so was my mother. The

tradition and religion she had lived and abided by all her life demanded that my son had no place at a table. In the end, my son was banished to another room in the house to eat his food on the floor and my heart broke into a million pieces. My son never got a chance to read from Haggadah that night. And we haven’t been back for any religious event in over 4 for years.

I was beside myself, and I couldn’t understand how my religion could do this, and I lost my faith and I lost my identity. In fact, I hated Judaism, because what mother can accept something that doesn’t accept her son?

I went to Chabad to learn the letter of the law concerning autism and Judaism and what I found out appalled me. In the orthodox world, if you have a child with autism they are sent away most of the time for the high holidays or put into respite while the rest of the family travel to friends or family overseas. I was aghast.


Rabbi: Allison R H Conyer [email protected] President: Maureen Barten [email protected] President: Gary TrytellTreasurer: Dan Poll Assistant Treasurer: Geoff Sussman OAM Hon Secretary: Pamela SpiegelImmediate Past President: Frank MooreBoard: Lewis Bearman, David Bloom, Beatrice Coleman, Max Freilich, Michael Galak, Jade Rosenberg & Zohar Dromi

ETZ CHAYIM DIRECTORYEtz Chayim Progressive Synagogue549 Centre Road (PO Box 69) Bentleigh Vic. 3204Phone: 9563 9208 Fax: 9557 9880 Web: www.etzchayim.org.auABN: 4169 361 7082

Office Hours Monday 9am – 5pmTuesday 9am - 5pmWednesday CLOSED Thursday 9am - 6pmFriday 9am - 1pm (Harriet)

Admin: Samantha Joseph & Harriet Niselow [email protected]

Hakol Editor: Barbara Lewis [email protected]

Articles reflect the views of the authors and not necessarily those of the Editors or the Board.

Affiliated with the Union for Progressive Judaism(Australia, New Zealand, Asia)

Kabbalat Shabbat Services: Last Friday of the month 6.30pm, followed by a shared dairy meal

Shabbat Morning Services: Saturdays 10:00am

In an attempt to make amends, and to try and see our way through our differences, I called for a mediation between my mother and myself at Temple Beth Israel, to see if there was any way that my son could fit into our family on a religious level.

Religion is a funny thing, you can throw fact or evidence in a person’s face but it’s tradition that will always override any logic.

It was explained by the rabbi that there was a way to accept Beau into our Seder and that we could have a placemat set at the table for him - the table representing ‘Eretz Yisrael’ and the placemat separating his food, but still a part of the family. This was simply unacceptable to my mother, the idea of food that was not kosher le Pesach on her Seder table was more than she could take. After all, any Orthodox Jew will say the same.

The rabbi tried one last resort. “Do you know of the four sons?” she asked. “Of course I do” replied my mother.“Do you know of the fifth son? The worst son of all?”My mother stared blankly “no”. “That is the son who wasn’t even there to ask a question, the missing son and nothing, not ignorance, not stupidity or rudeness is worse than that son” said the Rabbi. My mother became furious, it was all too much for her, she got up and walked out of our session.

At this point, if you’ve read this far, you may be asking yourself why I am telling this story??

Well, my son Beau was Bar-Mitzvahed in December last year, something I never thought would be possible. Not only is he entitled to the tradition of becoming a Jewish man but through Rabbi Allison and Etz Chayim I have also once again found peace with my religion. The problem was not Judaism

itself, there are so many levels of Judaism, and I finally feel like I have a place that gives me such sweetness. A community of tolerance. Patient, kind, caring, loving and forgiving Jewish people… the kind of Jew I want to be and the kind of Jew I want my children to be.

Rabbi Allison and I worked together to create a traditional Bar-Mitzvah that we were all proud of. We had to make some changes but in the end

my 13-year-old boy read Parsha, from the Torah, in front of all my family and friends.

The point to this story is that it is hard work to get your children, who might be slightly different for whatever reason, to walk the path they are entitled to as Jewish men and women. But I know now that the community that Rabbi Allison has created is the kind of Jewish I can be proud of. I no longer feel threatened, embarrassed or angered by my religion.

When Rabbi Allison opened her door to me she welcomed me into her home and arms unconditionally and she does that for Beau too. She sees him a young Jewish boy about to turn into a beautiful strong Jewish man, and nothing else. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

In Rabbi Allison’s Shule there is a place for autism in religion. I believe, in Rabbi Alison’s Shule, there is a place for everyone.

Our children deserve to know and understand our faith at whatever level they can. Don’t stop them because you think it’s too hard for them or for you. It’s not... I can promise you. Rabbi Alison is there for you all and so am I if you need it.

Jemma Wines

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