HOW TO SAY “NO”THE SIGNIFICANCE OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE SKILLS ROLE OF HUMOR AT WORKPLACEPHONE ETIQUETTECOMMUNICATION ETIQUETTEDRESSING UP AND HANDSHAKE

ETIQUETTES

Session 4

LET’S TAKE THE TEST..

How did you do? I am looking for the answer “no” If you had 22 or more “no” responses, don’t

worry; you don’t have an assertiveness problem and don’t have any difficulty saying “no”.

If you had only 15 to 21 “no” responses, you have some areas to work on.

If you had fewer than 15 “no” responses, you’ve got to learn to say “no” in such a way that others realize you mean it.

HOW TO SAY‘NO’“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage –pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically-to say ‘No’

WHY DO WE SAY “YES” WHEN WE DON’T WANT TO

The reasons could be :1. Because we are afraid that we may lose the

goodwill of a person to whom we must say ‘No’.

2.To avoid tension and emotional outburst3.We fear getting labeled as non team-players4.You want to prove yourself as powerful,

important.5.You don’t want to look selfish or self-

centered6.You want to make a positive impression

YOU SAY A BIG FAT ‘YES’, KICK YOURSELF AND FEEL MISERABLE.

HOW DO WE CHANGE THIS HABIT AND MASTER THIS COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE?

1.Commit yourself to changing your behavior.-tell people .Letting others know ensures a sincere effort at change

2.Learn to value yourself-do an inventory of your strengths to rebuild your self-confidence..SWOT is an ongoing process like resume writing

3.Develop an action plan-Start doing..if you are comfortable in small group discussions create those circumstances

4.When faced with a decision, focus on the business implication of your answer-Senior mangers need to remember that saying ‘yes’ won’t end that isolation.

HOW DO WE CHANGE THIS HABIT AND MASTER THIS COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE

5. “No” should be the first word out of your mouth if it is the better word-Follow your response with a single explanation.

6.Don’t get pressured into saying “yes”-if you are not sure what you want to say “no”-it’s better to say “no” first rather than saying “yes” first and then a “no”.

HOW DO WE CHANGE THIS HABIT AND MASTER THIS COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE

7.Practice not only what you will say but how you will look as you communicate assertively-Eliminate non-assertive behaviors, like looking away from the person, covering your mouth or wetting your lips. Also, consider voice, pitch and speed.

If you are too loud You may sound angry

If you are too soft You may sound timid

If your rate of speech is too fast

You may seem impatient

If you are too slow You may seem hesistant

These are more or less generalized interpretations

HOW DO YOU SAY “NO”

You have no bandwidth. You are in the middle of something critical and important for your project.

It is too much of a risk-not an easy request that you feel you can do justice to.(You certainly need someone with more expertise to handle this).

I don’t lend it to anyone-not even to my brother or sister

Substantiate it with hard data don’t make it look personal

Point out that something else might suffer In some cases buy time.

HOW TO TAKE A “NO”?WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET TO HEAR A “NO”

Remember they don’t have to say “yes” Don’t keep bugging them. Leave them alone Don’t let that hurt your pride. Keep asking

others. Don’t give up. Be better prepared the next time.

WHAT ARE THE ORGANIZATIONAL IMPLICATIONS?

1.We begin to feel unable to cope with any form of disagreement or conflict.

2.Face difficulty in making a decision3.And often discover that it’s just easier to

acquiesce(agree) than refuse someone’s request.

SUGGESTED READINGS

‘Say what you mean get what you want’ by Judith C.Tingley

ENGLISH LANGUAGE SKILLS

‘I AM SO CLEVER THAT SOMETIMES I DON’T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE WORD OF WHAT I AM SAYING’ OSCAR WILDE

How can you improve English?1.Simple things first2.Change from being vague , general and

abrupt to being specific and effective.3.Integrate all the communication skills

HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY ENGLISH?

You need to improve on listening, speaking, reading and writing

1.Reading magazines, newspaper, blogs, watching TV shows.

2.Listening to people either at your level or slightly higher.

3.Getting feedback from friends and colleagues4.Attending Toastmasters meetings to improve

English and Leadership skills4.1 etiquettes-toastmaster.doc5.Get into the habit of conducting small talk in

English.

HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY ENGLISH?

6.Finally incorporate effective non-verbal communication as a part of your English Training. Get to know the non-verbal sounds, body language, laughs ,grunts , smirks.

7.Get rid of the ‘heavy’ regional Indian accent-try to acquire a neutral accent.

8.Try to speak a bit slower and with intonation-put stress on appropriate word.

9.Minimize the pauses and gaps10.See if there is a pattern of mistakes11.Pay attention to grammar and learn a new

grammatical point every week.12.Learn to think in English13.Build vocabulary-not just words, include phrases and

metaphors

REMEMBER COMMUNICATION IS..

Holistic

SUGGESTED READINGS/VIDEOS

1.The Etiquette advantage in Business: Personal Skills for professional success by Emily Post

2. Also watch Emily post’s videos on Youtube on ‘Table Manners and other etiquettes’.

BUSINESS AND HUMOR ARE MUCH MARRIEDTHE ROLE OF HUMOR IN THE WORKPLACE.DOC…KNOW MORE ABOUT BHARAT DABHOLKAR

COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE IN GENERALCase study from ‘The Entrepreneur’

PHONE ETIQUETTE

EXERCISE 4.2

You have to talk about IMT- N for getting Milestone sponsored .

Four volunteers1.Student 2.Sponsor

ANATOMY OF A BUSINESS PHONE CALL

1. Initial Greetings2. Establishing virtual handshake with the

other person3. Getting down to business4. Summarizing5. Following through with the minutes of the

call.

THE DON’TS

1.Never ask for personal cell number to your international business partner

2.Do not communicate by ‘missed call’3.When at phone don’t multi task.4.Use speaker phone only when must

ETIQUETTES…1.Dressing up

2.Handshakes

DRESSING UP

Four C’sCleanCut to sizeCorrect for the occasionComfortable

Shirt Trouser Socks Shoes with lace

Belt

White Black, dark trousers of blue, grey and brown shades

Black, dark blue, grey, brown To match the trousers

Black with black, blue and grey trousers, brown with brown trousers

Black, black with black, brown with brown trousers

Light/pale blue

Indigo Indigo/blue base

Black black

Light green

Black, grey

Black, grey

Black Black

Light yellow

Brown Brown Brown Brown

Tan Brown Brown Brown Brown

SESSION 4 CONTENTS WERE:

How to say “No” The significance of English language skills Role of Humor at workplace-fun committee Phone etiquettes-phone exercise Communication Etiquette-case study from

‘The Entrepreneur’. Dressing up and hand shake