session 1: getting started working with clients...getting started working with clients. the first...

RAPID COACHING ACADEMY: PROFESSIONAL COACH TRAINING SYSTEM, VERSION 2.0

Session 1: Getting Started Working With Clients Christian: Okay, here we go. Welcome to the Rapid Coaching Academy.

This is Christian Mickelsen. This is session one which is about getting started working with clients. The first thing I wanted to do is welcome everybody and congratulate you all for making it in to the program. I have thousands and thousands of people on my email list and not everybody made it in to the program. So, just as anything in life some do and some don’t, some will and some won’t. Those of you who made it you’ve demonstrated that you are really serious about coaching and I really want to honor you for that and I want you to take a moment here and honor yourself. Give yourself a nice pat on the back and feel good about what you’re doing here.

A lot of people talk about things but not a lot of people do

something so just by being on this call it’s a demonstration that you’re one of the people who take action and that if there’s something that you want you go for it and you go get it. Once again, congratulations and welcome to the program. I also want to let you know who all is here in our program. I haven’t talked to every single person in our program but I’ve talked to several of you and gotten emails from several different of you so I know that you’re all going to fall in to one of these different categories. Everybody is coming from different places wanting different things. Here are what I’ve found where people are coming from, some of you in the program are already coaches, some of you have been coaching for a long time and are here to look for new techniques to take your coaching skills to the next level.

Some of you are becoming coaches, you are just getting started

with becoming a coach and this is a big first step for you. I welcome all of you and I’m excited to have you here. Some of you in the program are exploring coaching, you’re thinking, “Hmm, I’m considering becoming a coach and I’m exploring it,” so you joined the program because you felt like you’d earn some great skills whether you become a coach or not. That it would make a difference in your life, that it would make a difference in your ability to work with other people, to manage people, to lead people and make you a better husband, better wife, better friend, etc. But, you’re considering coaching, exploring it and thinking, “Hmm, this might be something I want to get in to. Why don’t I take some coach training to find out for sure.” Then actually there are some people in the program who just want to learn and get the personal growth work out of it because not only are you going to be learning


coaching in this program but you’ll be getting coached through the program. The program itself will coach you.

So, wherever you are, it’s totally okay and if you’re somewhere other than that then that’s okay too. Nonetheless, I’ll be treating all of you as if you’re just getting started in coaching. The reason why is because no matter where you are on the learning curve, no matter whether if you’ve learned coaching before somewhere else, I really believe in fundamentals. Not only do I believe in fundamentals but the way I see fundamentals is not necessarily the same way that other coach training programs see the fundamentals. It’s really at that core level that much of what you’re going to get out of this program will hold the most value and the post power for you so I’ll be talking to you as if you’re just getting started with coaching. Again, even though I know everybody’s coming from a different place, that’s just the framework or come from that’s going to make the biggest difference.

Here’s what we’ll be covering today, we’ll have an overview of the entire Rapid Coaching Academy program. We’re going to lay the ground rules for making this program a great success for you and for everybody in the program. We’ll also talk about how to get started working with a client. Then, we will spend some time coaching you. Actually, I’ll be coaching you on this call. Those are all the things that are going to happen. First of all an overview of the program, let me give you an overview and tell you what you can expect from participating in the Rapid Coaching Academy.

First of all, your life is going to change just from being in this program. Your life is going to change in small subtle ways, ways that are just kind of intangible, little, hmm I can see little shifts and your life is going to change in blow your mind ways. You’ll make new friends in this program. I remember I was involved in a network virtual learning community years ago and I met someone through that and we became friends and actually stayed friends for years, we’re still friends. We were friends for about five years before we actually ever met in person. We just met through this community that we were both a part of and connected via email, spoke on the phone a bit and then just stayed in touch via phone and email on a pretty regular basis. You’re going to make new friends in this program. Some of the friends that you make may last for years and years.

The program is going to be fun, sometimes. We are a very playful group as you’ll see in a little bit. We’re going to do our best to keep it light and fun and playful. Of course, sometimes it’s going to


challenge you. This program will challenge you and in those moments it may not be fun, it may be tough. It may be tough, it may be deeply emotional, it may be a little bit stressful at times but, I want you to know that even though it’s going to challenge you just by showing up on the calls you’re going to get a lot out of the program.

I wanted to also address that I know that some people are going to do every homework assignment and work really hard and put every ounce of themselves in to the program and some of you, you may have a full time job, you may have kids, you may have all kinds of other demands on your time and you may not be able to put as much of yourself in to the program. Whatever you end up putting in to the program and whatever you end up doing is totally okay. I just want to everybody to know that just showing up on the calls is going to make a big difference in your life. You’ll be absorbing things both conscientiously and uncontentiously that are going to impact the way that you think. Of course, the way that you think will impact the results that show up for you in your life, the way that you connect to people, the way that you talk to people.

You’ll start picking up on language patterns, ways that I phrase things, types of questions that I’ll ask. You’ll pick up on all those things. Even if you end up never doing any of the homework, just by being here on the call will make an impact on you. This program is going to be fun but it’s also going to challenge you and you will grow personally. You’re not going to be able to help but to grow. I mean, just show up on the calls. If you miss some calls you can listen to the recordings of the calls but you will grow.

Another thing that you can expect from this program is that you’ll have a much greater ability and greater power to impact people whether its friends, loved ones, strangers, co-workers and of course clients. You’ll be able to make them feel better at any given moment, that’s one of the results that you’ll get from this program, you’ll be able to actually make anyone feel better at any given moment. And, you’ll also be able to change the course of their personal destiny. Again, in small subtle ways you’ll be making impacts and in blow your mind ways you’ll be making an impact on people.

One of the really great benefits of learning more of these types of skills is just the feedback that you get from people when you make a big difference in their lives. Whether that’s making a difference in the lives of clients or friends, when you make a difference in people’s lives and you hear about it and they’re grateful to you for it


and they are thankful and appreciative and they respect you for it and honor you for that, that’s another great side effect from making an impact in the lives of the people around you.

When you get to the end of this program you’ll feel very competent actually in the following skills, these following skills are going to be the basis of the program and what you’ll be learning: number one, you’ll feel great about being able to create and maintain rapport. That’s really a powerful and important thing to be able to do so people can feel comfortable opening up to you and so that clients don’t pull away and stop sharing certain things with you which I know happens in the coaching relationship sometimes. But, being able to maintain that rapport will keep that client really connected to you. You guys will have rapport as if you’re holding hands for a walk along the beach. You’ll be able to have that strong of a rapport. So creating and maintaining rapport.

Creating well formed goals, objectives and directions. I’m going to go through this list and I just want to let you know that you may or may not understand everything on the list and I’m not going to spend time going in depth explaining what each of those things are because if I were to do that that would make this call last probably an extra hour longer than planned. The third thing that you’ll get from this program is how to co-create strategies, both short term and long term plans. You’ll be able to facilitate the enhancement of client skills like leadership skills, sales skills, communication skills, etc. even if they’re not skills that you’re strong in yourself. You’ll learn how to help people become better at something even if it’s not something you’re great at and you won’t have to become great at everything that your clients want to get great at. That’s a common misconception. We don’t have to become Superman or Superwoman or Wonder Woman. We’re all human, they’re human and that’s a great place to come from.

You’ll also be able to be co-developing strong, inspiring and fail safe environments for your clients. You’ll be able to identify and eliminate fears, doubts, self judgments and limiting beliefs. A lot of that is the stuff that really keeps people from being successful, causes people to get stuck, causes people to stop and start a lot. It’s these fears, doubts, limiting beliefs and self judgments, those are the things that tend to hold people back the most.

You’ll also be able to transform individual identity, world vision and personal capacities. You’ll be able to access client needs, create a coaching plan and you’ll be able to facilitate the coaching process overall. Any questions about the coaching skills?


Participant: Christian, this is Kaneen. Christian: Yeah. Hi, Kaneen. Kaneen: I was also wondering, I don’t know if you already covered this, will

we be going through learning how to create passive income products as well as the actual coaching sections?

Christian: Good question. This program is really about becoming a great

coach it’s not necessarily all about your coaching business. I have other programs that go in to growing your coaching business, developing passive income and things like that so this program is not designed for that. Thank you for asking. Did you have any other questions Kaneen or anyone else?

Kaneen: No. Christian: Great. So I want to go in to the ground rules for the program. This

is really important and hearing this may actually make a huge impact on you in general. I know a lot of people when they heard this recently found that it made a great impact for them. So, here are the ground rules. Everyone’s opinions, views and feelings are completely and totally valid. Everyone’s opinions, views and feelings are completely valid and since that’s everyone that includes you. That means that all of your opinions, views and feelings are valid too.

The reason I say that is because we all judge, as human beings we

all judge and we are all judged. I want to invite everyone to stretch themselves, I want to invite you to stretch yourself to be as accepting as others as you possibly can be. I also want to invite you to stretch yourself to be as accepting of yourself as you can possibly be. How we judge others is how we judge ourselves and sometimes it’s easier to notice how we judge others than it is to notice how we are judging ourselves. We tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on other people. So, self judgment and judging others it can be pretty painful.

I really want to create a space where everyone treats each other

with a lot of respect. I want you to know that whether you’re having a challenge, whether it’s challenge within this program or if it’s a challenging that you’re having in your personal life that you’re not alone. Someone has had the same challenge that you’re having, someone has had that challenge before, someone else in the group might even be having it right now, someone in the group may have


already overcome that challenge. I just want you to know that you’re not alone and that I won’t judge you. I want you to feel really safe that you can be here with me in this program and that we can be here with each other and that we’re going to really honor and respect each other.

Also, part of the ground rules for this program is that anything is

possible. Anything is possible. I live in a world where anything is possible and I really want to invite everybody to come in to that world and play with me today and play with me in the weeks and months of this program. I want to just give you a couple of examples here, I grew up on food stamps and public aid and actually spent a good part of my life being really ashamed that I didn’t have a lot of money and then as I was making some money I wanted to make it look like I had a lot of money. Now, actually I’m at a place where I am doing really well financially and I do live in my dream home, with my dream woman, driving my dream car, pretty darn happy most days. I get to do what I love for a living, I work four days a week and have total control over my schedule I can take vacations as much as I want. So, I’ve found that anything is possible.

In the course of my life and since I’ve been involved in coaching as

a client first, I first got involved with coaching as a client eight years ago, probably over eight years ago now. As a client, not just back then but all through till now, I’m still being coached by someone, I’ve just seen how any goal that I’ve wanted all the goals that I had for myself that I’ve achieved, it’s just a matter of you can have it whatever it is you want you can achieve it. It may be a matter of time, it may take a lot of work, it may take a little work, it may take diligence, it may take courage, it’s going to most likely take you having to grow in order to get it. That’s one of the things that I really believe in this program is that you’ll be helping clients achieve goals and you’ll be helping them grow themselves in to the kind of person that it will take in order for them to achieve what it is they want.

This is a come from where anything is possible. I’ll also tell you

another quick story about anything is possible is that a friend of mine is working on writing a book and he’s written books before but this book will be the first that won’t be self published, it will be available in major bookstores. It looks like he’s going to get an advance on his book of maybe around $100,000. That’s exciting. Not only am I giving you that example about that but I wanted to let you know that a famous celebrity had promised him that he would write the forward to his book and by having that forward it increases


his likelihood of getting a bigger advance, the likelihood of getting more backing by the publishing company to really promote his book.

This celebrity had promised him that they would write the forward but they’ve fallen out of touch over the last five years or so and as he’s tried to get back in touch and contacted everybody in this celebrity’s organization, everybody that he knew kept telling him, “No he said he’s not going to do it,” and all kinds of stuff. Finally he got to the point where he had exhausted all of his contacts and there was nothing more he could do about it so he decided to just surrender and surrendering in a way of not giving up but kind of giving it over to the universe to help out with it. A few weeks later he ended up getting an email from that celebrity who was actually trying to email someone else with the same first name but accidentally emailed him. Then my friend emailed him back saying, “Oh hey, how’s it going,” etc., etc. and, “Hey, everyone in your organization is telling me that you don’t want to write the forward to the book even though you had told me that you did want to write it. Is that true?” What happened was he actually finished writing the forward and he has it in his hands by a very big name person. I don’t want to go in to all the details but anything is possible. That’s where we come from in this program, that’s where I want you to come from and that’s where when you hear other people being involved in the program, other people speaking up, we are holding the space of anything is possible. This next one is really big and really important so here it is, everything is okay even when it’s not. What that really means is a couple of things, I think that everything really is okay. We’re going to make mistakes, we’re going to fail, we’re going to fall on our face a lot of times in our lives and everything is okay even if it’s not. That failing is part of the process so even though it seems like things might not be okay, that they are okay. It also comes in to play in terms of working with clients and other people in this program. Sometimes very challenging difficult things happen in our lives, very, very challenging, very difficult. Loved ones may pass on, you may become hurt, someone else may become seriously injured in some way and everything is okay even when it’s not means that for you when someone else is going through something tough that if you come from the place that everything is okay even when it’s not you’ll be able to stay really centered instead of collapsing in to coddling. If someone is crying


and a lot of my clients have cried over the years and many of them do and many, many more will and some of you may cry in our program or in sessions with each other. Instead of falling in to the pattern that most people do where you just start feeling bad and start giving them a tissue and all of those things, you can be stronger and hold the space for them to be upset. Everything is okay even when it’s not also means that you’ll be able to not fall in to the fix it mode where if someone is upset okay let me fix that. You can just really hold the space and let them be upset, let them be as upset as they need to be in order to work through what they need to work through. Everything is okay even when it’s not, that’s where we come from in this program. Some of you may show up with some very tough things and everything will be okay and everything is okay. I’ll be coming from that place and I want everyone else that is in the program to hold that space for the other participants as well, that everything is okay even when it’s not. The next part of the ground rules is tell the truth. Tell the truth as much as you can possibly tell the truth. The reason I say that is because it’s tough to tell the truth sometimes. The first person to tell the truth to is yourself. Often times we have a hard time being honest with ourselves so as much as you possibly can tell the truth for yourself and tell the truth in this program and I’ll be honest with you and I’ll tell you the truth as well even if it’s not pretty, even if it’s not comfortable. Be impeccable with your word. That’s a phrase from one of my favorite books The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. You might want to check out that book. Be impeccable with your word. What I really mean here is do as you say. If you say you’re going to do some homework then do the homework. If you don’t think you can do the homework then don’t say, “Yes, I’m going to get it done.” Again, I’m okay with do as much of the work as feels right for you but the more you can be in alignment with your word where you do as you say and you say what you do the more powerful you become and the bigger impact you can have on your clients and with each other. So, be impeccable with your word. Finally, the last ground rule is do your best. Do your best does not mean be perfect, do your best does not mean that you’re never going to make mistakes, do your best does not mean that you’re going to hit a homerun every time. Do your best means that you’re going to give it the best shot that you’ve got. You’re going to do the best you can with being honest, you’re going to do the best you can


with not judging yourself or each other. Do your best. And, your best may change from moment to moment. If you’re tired, or crappy or hung over, your best is going to be a little less than if you’re feeling strong and healthy and happy but, at all times just do your best and know that you’re doing your best. Any questions about the ground rules?

Jan Marie: Christian, this is Jan Marie. Christian: Yeah. Jan Marie: We’ve emailed each other back and forth. One challenge that I’m

finding getting in to a little bit of coaching and have clients is the line, and you may be speaking about this later, between psychotherapy and coaching.

Christian: Yeah. Jan Marie: Where my clients seem to push the edge. Christian: What do you mean? Jan Marie: Well, they start to use me it seems a little bit more of – I don’t know

if that has to do with being judged or if they’re looking for more emotional growth than business growth but it seems sometimes they really – I don’t know quite how to explain it, they really kind of delve over in to that area where you feel like you’re analyzing things more than helping them.

Christian: Okay. Jan Marie: Does that make sense? Christian: I think I understand what you’re saying. Jan Marie: And maybe it does crossover, maybe there is no line? Christian: Wow. Everybody is going to have a different standpoint on that and

I’m not going to say what’s right for you. I’ll just tell you that in the course of this program we’re going to be talking about helping people master their psychology. Really, everything that we’ll be doing is pretty results driven so even though we’re going to help people overcome their fears, doubts and limiting beliefs and self judgment and things like that and helping client develop a powerful


psychology. A powerful positive psychology where they’re expecting great results.

Jan Marie: I think that leads to the coddling as well so I think you’re right, if you

can maybe just accept their expectations to believe in themselves they don’t look for you that much to fix it.

Christian: I’ll tell you, I am not afraid to go anywhere with clients. Jan Marie: Okay, that answers a lot right there. Christian: So, if they need X I’m going to do my best to give them X. Jan Marie: Okay. Christian: Most everything that we’ll be doing is within the context of achieving

results. I think that’s one of the biggest places where things go array is sometimes coaches might work with clients on just trying to overcome some old issues. I’m okay with that if it’s in the context of, “Hey, I’ve got to overcome this thing in order to -” I’ll give you an example, if a client is working on getting in to a relationship and has fear of rejection or something like that we’re going to do everything we can to resolve that fear of rejection and we’ll use a lot of tools on that.

Jan Marie: I think that’s an excellent point. Just one quick note, one client I’m

working with I did put down as I do some bullet points about 10 of them that we’re going to work on for the next month. I do specialize in restaurant coaching, restaurant management and profitable restaurants and what not but she got a little frustrated and was kind of weepy and thinks she wasn’t getting anywhere. When I was able to pull out that goal sheet and we marked off eight out of 10 things then she realized wow she really had gotten farther than she thought.

Christian: Yeah. Jan Marie: Anyways, that’s enough of my time but thanks for your feedback. Christian: You’re welcome. I guess the bottom line in terms of therapy or

coaching is you need to do what’s comfortable for you and if you ever feel like you’re in over your head that’s indicator number one that that person is a likely candidate to be referred to therapy. Say, “Hey, this is really deep traumatic stuff,” and dada-dada-dada-da, “That’s not my expertise. My expertise is on coaching you to achieve this result,” or whatever it might be and, “I’m going to be


here and I’d be happy to continue coaching you but it seems like this particular thing might be something that you’d want to see a therapist for.” That’s my answer for that.

The next part we’re going to be talking about is getting started

working with a client and how do you know what to work on with your clients. I’ve been around coaching for a long time and I’ve had a lot of different coaches and one of the things that I’ve found is sometimes the reason why clients don’t stay is because coaches aren’t coaching them on the thing that they most want to be coached on. A lot of times clients don’t keep coaching with the coach, don’t stay with the coach is because the coach leads them off task or even starts off tasks with clients.

There’s a lot of coaching tools, there’s a lot of assessments and

checklists and all sorts of things, all sorts of mini programs that you can work with clients on. Some of you may use them yourself, some of you may have seen them and there’s nothing wrong with those things at all. My program probably won’t have any, or at least I don’t have any plans to include any of those kinds of things although at some point maybe I’ll create something so I don’t want to say that we won’t have anything. But, where a lot of coaches go off track is because they think that little mini program/checklist whether it’s helping people find their values, or their needs, or develop a strong foundation.

A lot of those programs can be useful within the context of helping clients get what they want but a lot of times if you pull the right tool out at the right time those things can be valuable but a lot of times coaches just look at that as this is the coaching. “Hey, you know what fill out this checklist.” “Hey, you need to focus on this, this, this and this. All these holes in this checklist you’ve got to clean up those areas of your life.” A lot of times that’s not what is most important to clients. That’s not the things they want your support on, that’s not what they want coaching on. Maybe those things would make sense, maybe those things would have value for them and maybe not but as coaches we want to know exactly what clients want, exactly what clients need, what to work with them on. There’s actually two really good ways to do this and I’m going to actually take a moment to recommend a resource that’s not included in this program but it’s highly recommend which is Free Sessions that Sell, the Client Enrollment System. You can find out more about that at FreeSessionsThatSell.com. Now, you don’t need that in order to know what to work with clients on but it’s a

http://www.freesessionsthatsell.com/


really create tool to help figure out what to work on with clients. You can find out what’s going on right from the beginning. Free Sessions That Sell is one way to find out what people really want before they become your client but once they become your client a great way to find out what they want is a client intake form or a coaching intake form. Everyone will have access to a client intake form, I’ll include that with the recording. When I have the recording of this call available and I email that out to you in a couple of days, you’ll also be able to download the client intake form. The client intake form asks a lot of very deep questions to find out what does the client want and what are the challenges the client is having with getting what they want. One of your homework assignments is going to be to fill out the coaching intake form. Let’s see, anything else about getting started with working with the client. Does anybody have any questions about how to know what the client wants and what to work on with clients?

Eric R.: Christian, Eric here. Christian: Yeah. Eric R.: I have been using the Free Sessions That Sell myself and so far

I’ve been getting approximately 50% sign up from it so it’s working great.

Christian: Awesome. Eric R.: But what I’ve noticed is I’ve also used a lot of the ideas behind that

for my current clients to dig deeper and to just help in finding out what they’re looking for. So, that program kind of has a two sided benefit to it.

Christian: In a lot of ways I really consider selling and coaching to be brother

and sister, twins that were separated at birth. So, even though Free Sessions That Sell is about selling coaching and enrolling clients, I agree just some of those questions really dig deep and are really great to use along the way through the coaching process. A lot of those questions we’ll be talking about in this coach training program but they’re not within the same context of enrolling clients and that’s another reason why it might be a good idea for some of you to get the Free Sessions That Sell program. Thanks for mentioning that Eric.

Eric R.: You’re welcome.


Christian: Awesome. Marsha: Hi Christian, this is Marsha. Christian: Go ahead. Marsha: I was wondering how often you think you should update the

question of what your clients want? Christian: That’s a good question. That’s something that we’ll probably look

at deeper in to the program but I’ll answer that a little bit now. I think most of us can sense whether we feel really in tune with what’s going on for the client or not. I don’t know if any of you have ever felt like worried or panicked or just felt disconnected from your client. If you’ve ever felt that way, and maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m the only one that’s ever felt that way but if you ever feel that way that’s usually a great indicator that you need to dig deep again and really find out what’s going on and reassess the client’s wants and needs. You may have them fill out the intake form again, you may end up setting up every 90 days you do like a check in like, “Okay, what’s going well? What’s not going well? Do you still want these things that you have listed here on your goals?” Maybe they’ve achieved some of them.

I know for me personally, and I mentioned that I’ve achieved a lot of

the goals that I’ve set. Four years ago I had created a dream board where I just put pictures of all the things that I wanted on it and I achieved all of them except for one specifically that I can think of that I didn’t achieve because I didn’t want it anymore and that was a $10,000 watch. I stopped wanting it. When I moved to California I stopped even wearing a watch. Now, I could go buy one but I just don’t want it anymore. That’s one of the things that happen too that as people grow and evolve some of those things that they are working on some of what they think they had wanted back then may no longer be what they want right now. So, it’s a good idea to check in on a regular basis and that might be every 90 days or something.

But, if you’re really, really in tune with your client and they’re

making a lot of progress you’ll probably feel, you can probably use your own sense of where you feel. Do you feel lost in the coaching or do you feel right on track? Do you feel in tune with the client or do you feel out of tune? Those would be some really good indicators that it might be a good idea to go back and dig deep in again. Does that answer your question?


Marsha: Yeah, yeah. I guess the reason I asked it is because I’ve never

done any coaching but I’ve listened to a couple of coaching sessions and it seemed that when the client expressed what they wanted to accomplish and it was accomplished they didn’t seem very happy.

Christian: Okay, well I haven’t listened to that myself so I don’t know what that

really is about. But, achieving things isn’t going to make you a happy person. When we start talking about – actually, I’ll just say it right now, having goals is a powerful thing because we get to enjoy the fantasy of the goal. There’s three places where we’ll enjoy a goal, we can enjoy just setting the goal and the fantasy of it like what it would be like to have it and dreaming about it. That’s fun, that’s part of the enjoyment of setting goals. The second piece of the enjoyment is in the journey towards achieving those goals and the process of growing through it. It’s not always joy the whole way but it’s the challenge. If we’re not challenged in our lives there’s very little joy. Human beings need to be challenged, otherwise we’ll become bored so we need challenge. Having a goal and the journey and process of achieving that goal creates the challenge and that makes life rewarding. That’s another third of the joy of a goal is the journey.

Then the last third is actually achieving the goal and enjoying

having what it is that you wanted whether it is the car or whatever. But, one of the common mistakes that people make is that thinking that having the goal in and of itself is if they’re not happy now and they get that goal then they’re going to be happy and that’s not true. When we work with our clients we’re going to want our clients to be aware of all parts of enjoying the goal, dreaming about it, enjoying the journey and enjoying having it so that doesn’t happen for our clients very often if at all. Thank you for bringing that up. Does that answer your questions or did you have another question from that?

Marsha: Thank you. Christian: Well great. You’re welcome. I want everybody to know what it’s

like to start becoming a client so I want everyone to fill out that client intake form. That will be your homework assignment for this week. Again, any questions about that for a homework assignment? Okay. That’s all your really need in order to know what to work with clients on. Definitely the Free Sessions That Sell would be great but if you just have the client intake form that’s all you need.


Now, I want to get in to coaching you. My question for you, and right now it’s a rhetorical question so you don’t have to jump in and answer yet, is what do you want? Again, because not everybody in this program is wanting to get in to coaching or is a coach yet so this probably isn’t true yet but I’m going to assume that probably everyone wants a financially successful coaching business. That’s great, you can definitely include that in your list of goals but, what else do you want? What do you want in your personal life? Maybe it’s big things like for me I just happened to be in the most amazing house I’ve ever seen or ever been in. It’s a $20 million home in La Jolla that was just finished being built. No one has ever lived in it, brand new construction. The thing is a work of art in and of itself and has and I had an opportunity to be in it recently so now that’s a big goal that I have is this $20 million house in La Jolla. As it turns out, I’m just slightly short of being able to buy that house right now. I’m about $20 million short.

So, maybe it’s a big thing that you want. Another big thing I want is

to fly in to outer space. That’s another big goal that I have. I’m really excited to have these goals because after having achieved so many of my previous goals probably if we were having this conversation a month ago I had business goals and I still have business goals but I didn’t have any big reasons to have my business succeed or to achieve those goals other than the successful achievement of the goals that I feel like I did well and that I accomplished what I set out to. I ran out of goals and I just didn’t have a whole lot so I’m really excited that I have this goal for this house and flying in to outer space which a private person just flew in to outer space within the last couple of months. I thought, “Wow, that’s so cool.” I think it cost her $20 million or $60 million, something like that.

That was one of my goals and actually someone recently emailed me a link to the Neman Marcus catalog and Richard [Branson from the Virgin Brand, he is offering a flight in to space and it’s only $1.8 million for six people, for a six person flight in to space. So, that’s like $300,000 per person. That makes it a lot more like, “Wow, that’s something that I can really achieve.” I don’t necessarily have so much money that I’m ready to drop it on a flight in to space but it’s something to look forward to and the flight is not leaving until 2009 anyways so I’ve got some time to ramp up my income. Anyways, think about what you want, think of some of the big things that you want, think of some of the little things that you want. Maybe it’s tickets to a play or concert, maybe it’s something as simple as Kleenex. I know this may sound silly but for me growing


up we never had Kleenex, we had toilet paper only and when you get a cold, and I guess I’m bringing it up now because I’m just getting over a cold, when you have a cold and you’ve got to blow your nose a lot toilet paper can really wear down your nose. For me, some of the little things just make me feel so rich and abundant like Kleenex. Or, when I was growing up we had paper towels but you could never use a paper towel to dry your hands because that would be a waste. If you washed your hands and you needed to dry them you could dry them on a regular towel why waste a paper towel on drying your hands. Those little things, maybe there’s some little things in your life. I’ll mention another one too, I have a pretty large bathroom in our master bedroom and we have a garbage can but the garbage can is in with the toilet and the toilet is in a separate little room in our bathroom and having to throw things away like Qtips or whatever, bringing them in to the other room to throw them away is just kind of annoying so having a little thing like a small garbage can underneath each of the sinks, the one I use and the one my girlfriend uses, would be like a little thing that would make my life better. So think of some of the big things and maybe some of the little things that you want. That’s my coaching assignment for you. It all starts with a dream. The only way we can have something different is to start thinking about it. Definitely life events and good fortune can smile on us and great random things can happen but, if we want to have what we want it all starts with a dream and anything is possible. We come from that place where anything is possible. So, what I’d like to do right now is just without spending a lot of time on any one given person, let’s just hear from a few of you, just go ahead and say out loud, think about something you want and just go ahead and say it out loud. Go ahead and do that now.

Participant: A beautiful two story camp on the lake. Participant: Motor home.

Participant: An artwork shop. Participant: I’d like to open a retreat center. Participant: An animal rescue farm. Participant: Retire early.


Participant: A plasma TV. Participant: A mountain bike. Participant: Go to Costa Rica. Participant: Attend all the concerts that I enjoy. Christian: Great. What I want everyone to do right now is when I’m talking to

somebody and they have something what we’ll do is we’ll give each other a high five over the phone. But, the only way to give a high five over the phone is really like give yourself a high five so in order to celebrate setting a goal for yourself or repeating out loud a goal that you may have had for a while, I want you to go ahead and give yourself a high five over the phone right by the ear piece of the phone. It will sound like this [high five sound]. Ready, okay everyone give yourself a high five over the phone.

Alright. Does everybody feel good? Yeah. The next thing I need

to cover here is that often times we limit ourselves. We limit ourselves, we limit our dreams and by limiting ourselves these are the things that keep us from even dreaming in the first place and keep our clients from dreaming big or dreaming at all and often times can keep people from succeeding as well from keeping going on our dreams. I want to mention that these things can limit you and can limit your clients so you want to watch out for that. If you notice you limiting yourself, if you notice your clients limiting themselves, if you notice your friends limiting themselves or anybody around you, just start being aware of and noticing these things now.

Here are the ways that we limit ourselves. The first way that we

limit ourselves is we limit ourselves by what we even think is possible. Some people thought it was not possible for human beings to fly, people thought that wasn’t possible. But, there were some people who were limited by that and then they made an airplane and now most people in the United States and people from all over the world are flying in airplanes. So one way we limit ourselves is by what we even think is possible like flying in to space. I can’t even think of anything else right now but by things even being possible, that’s the first way that we limit ourselves.

The second way that we limit ourselves is by what we think we’re

capable of. For example, I might say, “Hey, I’m going to get this $20 million home.” Somebody else might say, “Well, you might be able to do that, you might be able to have a $20 million home but I


couldn’t do that.” Not to say that everybody would want what I want, that’s certainly not true but people will often times think, “That’s for them and not for us. That’s for them and not for me.” Because, we think we’re not capable of it so the second way that we limit ourselves is by what we think we are capable of.

The third way that we limit ourselves is by how hard we think

something will be and how much we think it’s worth and what it will take to get it. For example, I have a project that I’ve been enjoying the dream about having this project be successful but I haven’t taken any action on it yet. I just realized this yesterday, I have a mastermind group so I guess we’re more buddy coaches, a coach friend of mine we coach each other and I noticed through questioning that I hadn’t started on this project because I felt like it was going to be too much work and I didn’t want to go through the hassle. A lot of times we limit ourselves by how hard we think something is going to be and how much we think it’s going to be worth what it will take.

So if it seems like it’s going to be really hard we still might do it but

we might now if we think, “Well it’s not worth it. It’s going to be really hard and it might not be worth it.” Or, we might think it’s going to be really hard and it will be worth it or we might think it’s going to be really hard and maybe it won’t be. But, that’s the next way, the third way that we often limit ourselves.

The fourth way that we limit ourselves by how hurt we would be if

we went for it and failed. “If I set my expectations up, I got my hopes up and it didn’t work out that might be too much for me to take.” Or, “If I went for it, maybe if I quit my job and told everybody about this business that I started and then if failed, I couldn’t face my friends. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.” That’s the fourth way that people limit themselves by how hurt, disappointed, or embarrassed, or ashamed that we would be if we went for it and failed.

Then the fifth way that we limit ourselves is by how much we think

we are worth having it or how much we don’t think we’re worth it. Like, “I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve that $20 million house.” Or, “Why should I have it when not everyone else can have it. If not everybody can have a $20 million house, who am I to deserve that? Who am I to want to have a $20 million home?” I don’t know if any of these seem familiar to anyone on this call if you’ve ever been in any of these places before. I’ll tell you I’ve been in all these places. I know I’ve limited myself in all of these ways at some point in one


way, shape or form on any given different goal probably some of those things have been going on.

Any questions about how we limit ourselves or how our clients

might limit themselves or comments about that? Marsha: Hi, this is Marsha again. I was wondering what you thought about

when somebody becomes extremely discouraged because they get a setback?

Christian: Yeah. That’s great. I think first of all failing is part of succeeding.

A lot of my clients these days are usually people who have gotten to a certain point in their business and then they’re stuck and they need help getting to the next level. I haven’t worked with a lot of very green newer clients, newer business sorts of people and things like that. But, it’s really important to let people know, kind of like I’m doing with you here the ground rules. You may have heard the phrase that failure is not an option and you’re right. What I mean by that is almost the opposite that failure is not an option that you’re going to fail. If you want to achieve something you’re going to fail probably five times, 10 times, 100 times, maybe 1,000 times before you succeed. That’s just kind of the way of the land.

Certainly, you can get successful right away, some success is

going to happen faster than others but, in life, we’re going to fail. Thomas Edison failed a 1,000 times before he successfully created the light bulb that worked. Michael Jordan has said, “I’ve been trusted to make the game winning shot. 26 times I’ve failed,” this is a paraphrase of course, “I’ve been trusted to make the game winning shot 26 times and missed.” All kinds of things that he failed and failed and he said, “That is why I succeed.” That’s just how it is, we’re going to fail so when people are discouraged let them be discouraged and kind of be with that through that discouragement.

All emotions pass so no one stays in anything forever. If they are

stuck in it then that’s one of the mastering your psychology techniques that you’ll learn later on. If someone is stuck in a feeling it’s usually because they’re not fully letting themselves feel it, they may only feel part of it but they may be resisting feeling it fully. So what do you do when someone is discouraged? Talk about it and again, setting up the ground rules ahead of time letting people know that, “Hey, failures not an option because you can’t avoid it. You’re going to have to fail.”

Another thing too in terms of coaching people is helping people to

not hinge their happiness on any result. The more you can be


happy with any outcome, and I do see this sometimes where coaches sometimes will have a lead to potentially work with a big client and they hang their hat and their hopes on this one client working out and then it doesn’t and then it’s dashed. There are a lot different things you can do. You can make sure they’re not hanging all their hopes on that one result. There’s a lot of things you can do and I guess you’ll be learning all those things along the way so I can’t go in to a whole lot of detail but, was that helpful?

Marsha: Yeah. I had one more question, what about the people who always

think life isn’t fair especially when they get that setback? Christian: Yeah, that life isn’t fair. That is probably what I would call a limiting

belief and again, we’ll get in to how to deal with limiting beliefs later. But, I would probably challenge that, life isn’t fair well, how is it unfair in your advantage? You’re probably right life isn’t fair but how is it unfair to your advantage? Is there any way that it’s unfair to your advantage? I mean heck, if you were born in the United States that’s kind of an unfair advantage over people that were born in Ethiopia. So, I would probably question it and challenge it and see if I can dissolve that limiting belief. That’s one way that we would approach that.

Marsha: That sounds great. Thank you. Christian: Good. Any other questions or comments on how we limit ourselves

or limit our dreams? Sharon: This is Sharon. I just wanted to say that one of the best things that

I ever heard about failure was that don’t think about it as failure think about it as gathering data. So, you’re just gathering information, if it didn’t work out this time or that way you now have information to make other choices to go forward.

Christian: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. Someone else was speaking

too? Kaneen: This is Kaneen. I was just going to mention, I think it was on an

earlier call and in your book where you talked about failure and giving us permission for us to fail and encouraging it because that has been something that I’ve been afraid of in the past and have had other not so positive experiences with being so afraid of failure. But, in your book and when we talked on your other call you had mentioned about failure and really encouraging our clients as well that it’s okay to fail, that it’s part of the growth. I’ve been writing out miss-take for mistakes every time I think about it.


Christian: I like that so it’s like a missed take as opposed to a mistake. I love

that. I have a different version of that on how we tend to judge ourselves really harshly, it’s one of these I call the law of perfect imperfection. That is, human beings we’re imperfect but that it’s perfect that way. We’re supposed to be imperfect, we all have strengths, areas that we’re strong and areas that we’re not as strong. We have blind spots, we have some things that we see with crystal clarity and some things that we don’t. Sometimes when people are laughing and joking about stuff I just don’t get it, I miss it, I have a blind spot there. We are all human and so we’re all imperfect but it’s the law of imperfect imperfection, we’re supposed to be made the way we are so I have people put an apostrophe between the I and the M in the imperfect which means that I am perfect, even in my imperfection I’m perfect. I like that miss-take, good one [Kaneen]. See, you are meant for this stuff. I’m giving you a big hug over the phone.

Kaneen: Thank you. Christian: You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing that. Great. I wanted to

take a moment, we just talked about limiting ourselves and I wanted to just see if after having that discussion if that maybe reopened your eyes to some goals that you want or maybe in just hearing some of the things that some of the other people on the call what they wanted, maybe there are some new things that, “Oh hey, she said she wanted that, I’d like some of that for me too.” Let’s just take a quick moment and again, anything that you can think of that you want and especially maybe it’s even something that you already mentioned, that’s okay too but maybe something else that was awakened either by hearing somebody else or by hearing about how we limit ourselves.

Maybe you’ve reevaluated now and said, “Hey instead of making $1 million maybe you want to make $20 million.” So, whatever it might be. Let’s take another moment here and just go ahead and say out loud anything that you want because anything is possible and I really believe that you will have anything you want it’s just a matter of going for it and making it happen. Let’s go ahead and say it, what’s something else that you want?

Participant: Travel the world. Christian: Me too. I’m putting that one on my list. Good, what else do you

guys want?


Participant: A degree in naturopathic medicine. Christian: Alright keep them coming. Participant: Good health in old age. Participant: Retire early, really early. Christian: Yeah. Participant: I want my body to match my mind. Christian: Great. Any others? Participant: I want to travel to Fiji. Christian: Alright, sounds good. Participant: I’m with you on that one and I like Costa Rica also. Christian: One of the coaches on my coaching team told me how he was

going to go to Hawaii for a week and now he’s decided he’s going for a whole month. I was like, “Wow, I was just in Hawaii last month. I was there for just under two weeks. Man, you’re going for two weeks, that sounds so good.” Awesome. Great. I want to congratulate everybody for going forth, for playing full out, for speaking up. I’m going to go through your homework assignment and then if you guys have any questions about our call today or about the program in general we’ll take those.

Your assignment is to fill out the client intake form or coaching

intake form and to actually set some personal goals, aside from your coaching business some personal goals. Personal goals are really important because they will drive you to achieve your business goals so set some personal goals for yourself. I’m going to give you an optional homework assignment and the reason it’s optional is because this might be one of the more time intensive of the assignments and that is create a dream board for yourself.

A dream board is simply either some cork board or a poster board

where you take pictures of the things that you want and you just pin them up to that board or tape them to the board. You get a bunch of old magazines and flip through there and if there’s a car that you want or there’s a picture of a vacation or a house, whatever it is that you might want. I know somebody mentioned that they wanted a lot of freedom so maybe a picture of something that represents


freedom for you so maybe that’s somebody standing on the edge of the cliff with their arms stretched out with their head up towards the sun might be a great image of freedom, or maybe it’s the American flag for you, or some other country’s flag. Whatever it is that might represent the things that you want. Cut those out and put them on your dream board and put your dream board somewhere you can see it on a regular basis. Any questions about the dream board?

Okay. The third homework assignment for you is to identify three

small actions you can take this week to move you closer to your goals. Three small actions, so three small things so maybe if it’s a car that you want maybe that action is you’re going to go test drive that car. I know for me with my car it was on my dream board for about three years before I finally got it and I test drove that car probably at least four times before I ended up buying it. Something simple, three simple things not three marathon steps but three small actions you can take to achieve your goals. Actions that you know that you can take this week, so identify three small actions that you can take this week that will move you closer to your goals.

Then the next homework assignment is actually take action on

those three things so actually do them. Then the next thing I want you to do is to notice how you feel every step of the way. Notice how you feel as you’re thinking about your goals, notice how you feel as you’re writing your goals. Notice if you’re judging yourself, “Oh I shouldn’t want that.” Or, notice if you’re getting really excited, “Oh wow, this is going to be so fun.” Just notice whatever you feel, just notice it, notice it as you’re writing your goals. Notice as you’re writing down the three simple actions, notice what that feels like. Does that feel exciting, does it feel daunting? Write those three goals and notice how that feels.

Notice how it feels to actually take those actions and notice how it

feels when you’re done with those three small steps. Now, you can do more than those three small steps. I don’t want to tell people that you can’t do anything more than those three small steps, you can do as much as you want towards your goals but make sure you set three small actions and that you take those three small actions. That’s all that I’m asking for from this program, that’s all I’m asking for from you. It’s really important to get some momentum here. We want to do small baby steps to really build some momentum.

That leads to a really great preview for our next session. In our next

session here’s what we’ll be covering. In the next session we’ll be talking about how to create a safe space where people will open up to you more than with anyone else in the world. You’ll learn how to


create strong rapport, create and maintain strong rapport with potential clients, how to create a safe space. You’ll learn the psychology of performance, how to change the way you feel at any given moment and how to change how well you perform and how to help your clients do the same thing. How to get centered and how to help your clients get centered.

We’ll also talk about the science of momentum. Again, doing small

things builds up and builds up and the more you set goals and achieve goals, the more you create an action plan and you follow through on that action plan creates momentum. The more momentum you have the more and more successful you’ll become at setting and achieving goals. We’ll also talk about how to help clients create well formed goals, outcomes and direction. That’s what we’ll be covering in our next call. Any questions about the program or about anything that we’ve covered today?

Okay, if any come up please go ahead and ask them. I’d like to

finish out our call by finding out what did you find most valuable about our time together today? This is actually I’m asking you a question and it’s a chance for you to participate and speak up. What did you find most valuable about our time today?

Participant: That anything is possible. Participant: The ground rules. Christian: Anything is possible. Great. Someone else said, “The ground

rules.” Why were the ground rules valuable to you? Participant: I don’t know, it gives a good foundation. Christian: Excellent. Participant: How we limit ourselves. Like, I’m familiar with these things that you

listed but I also realized that sometimes I forget to bring all that thinking in to my coaching practice with my clients.

Christian: Great. Thank you for sharing. Participant: Remembering that you learn through failure. Christian: Yeah, excellent. Participant: Having the dream but not getting started on it. When you shared

that, that was important to me.


Christian: Yeah, why is that? Participant: Because I think I am good at visualizing and creating the dream

board but then I’ve been stuck in creating the dream board and not making anything happen.

Christian: Thanks for your honesty that takes a lot of courage to speak up like

that. Thank you. Participant: I can relate to that one. Christian: Good. Someone else was trying to share as well? Participant: I realized that I don’t dream big enough for myself and I get lazy. Christian: So the whole concept of laziness, I don’t really believe that laziness

actually exists in the world. Although, I use to judge myself very harshly as being lazy so my guess is that there’s some judgment here but when we don’t take action there are reasons for it. Either we’re intimidated by the goal or we’re intimidated by something or we’re afraid or we don’t have an inspiring enough goal. There’s a whole lot of reasons why people don’t take action. I know a lot of coaching training and a lot of coaches talk about holding people accountable like it’s some way to force people in to action.

I really am a firm believer that if people aren’t naturally taking the

action to achieve their goals there’s probably a reason for it and we need to find out what those reasons are and work through those things. Because, people aren’t lazy, lazy is a judgment. People are either in action or they’re not in action and if they’re not in action we want to find out why and, maybe it’s okay to not be in action sometimes too. Thank you for speaking up and I hope you feel comfortable with me taking a moment there to teach something but I really want to again, thank you for being so open, so honest and having the courage to share and speak up.

Usheko: Hi, this is Usheko and I’d like to share something. Christian: Yes? Usheko: What I learned from this session is that we as a coach it’s very

important to be a role model. I learned from you that everything you have taught us is anything is possible, everything is okay, tell the truth, be impeccable with your words, I realize that you really as a coach yourself live what you preach. I realize that if we’re not


embracing all these things and do it ourselves then we cannot be a convincing coach and I learned from you today that we have to really do that ourselves before we can help other people.

Christian: Well, I’m super flattered that you would see that and think that and I

really appreciate that. I think there’s a lot of truth to what you’re saying. I want to also let you know that I’m doing my best at living these things. There’s some times that I’m not willing to be honest with myself. There’s some things that sometimes my girlfriend will point out or friends will point out about me that it’s like my instant reaction is, “You’re wrong.” Sometimes I’m not willing to face the truth and look at the truth and I’m certainly still on the road of growth myself, I’m still growing, I’m still learning so I’m right there with you all on the journey.

Maybe I’m a step or two ahead but as much as I’d like to say I am

all of it, I can’t claim to be perfect at all those things. But, I do appreciate your acknowledgement on that and maybe some of the things I said or did on the call were examples of that. But, I’m definitely not perfect yet myself and don’t know if I’m ever going to be.

Usheko: It’s perfect to be imperfect. Christian: That’s right, it is. Great. Thank you everybody who has shared so

far. We’ll take one or two last comments. Jen: Hi Christian, this is Jen. Christian: Yes, go ahead. Jen: I want to say that the most important thing that I’ve learned from

this program is that it’s very, very important to know your perspective clients before you ever coach or starting coaching them. That way you can be the best, you can give the best advice and the most important thing is you will be able to help them reach the goals and answer everything that they want to happen. It’s like synonymous in saying that you should know your target market when you’re doing marketing.

Christian: Yeah, absolutely. Jen: That it is very important to maximize all opportunities. Christian: One other thing that we’ll be covering in our next session as well

that I didn’t mention is we’ll be covering the biggest mistake that


coaches make and how to avoid it. It’s the number one mistake that drives me crazy about most coaches that if they just knew about it they could make a big shift and become a much better coach. We’ll take one last comment about what you found most valuable and then we’ll wrap up.

Marsha: This is Marsha. Christian: It sound like two or three of you spoke so all of you who just spoke

we’ll take one at a time and hear. Go ahead, someone try again to go first.

Marsha: Hi, this is Marsha. I like the idea that everything is okay. I don’t

totally believe it yet but I like it. Christian: Yeah, good. That’s a good one, that’s a good one to stretch us all

for sure. Thank you for sharing that. Someone else was trying to speak too?

Mora: Yeah, this is Mora. I really like that you said you should have client

to enjoy all three parts of going through their achievements. So the fantasy of the goal, [inaudible 1:20:28] and actually achieving the goals. That was really powerful for me because I know that just getting a goal is not what it’s all about.

Christian: Yeah, absolutely. I know for myself I’m usually guilty of set the

goal, get right in to action, maybe I’m wired that I enjoy the journey a lot but I usually don’t take a lot of time enjoying the dreaming about it, you know. A lot of times I just get right in to action and sometimes I never – a lot of the goals that I’ve set that I haven’t achieved or a lot of programs or projects that I’ve started that I haven’t achieved sometimes I don’t get to the point that I enjoy having it and I don’t get to enjoy what it would be like to have it that much but I just got right in to working on stuff. Sometimes that’s the funest part for me. So yeah, I need to do even better to enjoy all three parts of it as well.

Sometimes I’ll achieve a goal and I won’t take a lot of time to enjoy

having it or really appreciate it. Sometimes it’s like rushing right in to the next goal. Those are all things to watch out for when we’re working with clients.

I want to just close out by letting you know that coaching I think is

the most powerful force for change on the planet. I am coaching’s biggest fan. I’ve had more coaches and been coached by more people than almost anybody on earth I’m imaging or at least in the


top 1% I would imagine of anybody. I’ve had a lot of different coaches coach me, I’ve been coached by several coaches even on different calls. Sometimes I’ve had several coaches coaching me even at the same time on the same call. I’ve had several coaches coaching me at the same time on different calls on different things.

Coaching has changed my life five times, 10 times over since I first

was exposed to it eight years ago. I’ve seen the lives of clients change and shift and grow dramatically over time. I know the power of coaching and there are a lot of people out there, I was a mess when I hired my first coach, and there are a lot of people out there who really would love their lives to change. They either don’t know about coaching or the coaches just haven’t been able to market to them in a way that really appeals to them. But, there are people out there hungry for coaching right now.

My battle cry or my mantra is "Let’s get people coached." So, go

forth and have your best week ever. It’s been a pleasure and an honor to be with all of you. Let’s go out there in the world and let’s get people coached.

Participant: Thank you, Christian. Christian: You’re welcome everybody. Take care.

session 1: getting started working with clients...getting started working with clients. the first...

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