september free chapter - pretty girl by j.c. burke
TRANSCRIPT
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7/29/2019 September Free Chapter - Pretty Girl by J.C. Burke
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Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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1
SARAH THE
SENSIBLE
Te wind has picked up. Pink balls o blossom uzz drop
onto the tidy lawns o Galston College as i it were a spring
snowall. ypically, allulah is the frst to swat it rom her
hair and mouth, her wrist icking in swi, cranky move-
ments. Te other girls, all residents o Galstons second
oor, see what shes doing and ollow.
Even at university, allulah is the girl everyone wants
to be, Sarah thinks. She remains still, happier to let the
blossom uzz settle on her lips than ollow the others.
Teyre on their way to happy hour at the Sebbies bar.
Its a Sunday night Crossley University tradition, i you live
on campus.
Sarah stops at the wilting arrangement o lilies sitting
in the doorway o Galstons laundry. Tey were placed
there on the day o Jessica Walskis memorial, almost three
Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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weeks ago. Maybe we should move Jesss owers? she says.
Teyre not looking so good.
Teyre fne. Just prop them up a bit, allulah instructsSarah. Its not like shes going to know. Teres a collec-
tive gasp rom the other girls. Well, shes not. Im just being
honest. allulah squeezes in ront o Sarah and rearranges
the oppy stems, speaking to them as though they are Jess.
Oh sweetheart, sweetheart. What were you doing up there
on the roo? Hey? I wish you could tell us.Tats not what I meant, Sarah says, stepping over
allulah and picking up the vase, an undignifed grunt
escaping her lips. It shouldnt be right outside the door. I
cant believe someone hasnt tripped over it already. Tatd
be nice, a lawsuit or the college. Like Galston needs another
drama.Oh, youre so bloody sensible, Sarah. allulah turns
to the girls and says, Did you know I made up that title
Sarah the Sensible? It was in a year 8 pastoral care class.
Didnt Jess make it up? Sarah mutters. Aer I cleaned
up your mess in the art room?
O course allulah catches it. No! I did. Remember?
Whatever you say, allulah.
You see allulahs still acing the others we were
paired o or this trust exercise. You know those stupid
exercises you do in pastoral care . . .
I dont think anyones interested in what we did in
year 8, Sarah mumbles. Surely no one wants to know what
they did back then, and Sarah doesnt want to hear about it
now either.
But Dee insists. Go on, she begs allulah. Te other
Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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girls are nodding, a line o heads bobbing. We werent
allowed to have nicknames written on our year 12 jerseys.
My school was so boring. Deanna Parsons is what minesaid. Exciting, not. I love all o your rinity Hall ones. Sarah
the Sensible, Just allulah . . . Her voice trails o.
Jess Wannabe and Paige the Brave. allulah fnishes the
list or her. Te mention o these names brings the dropping
o heads, an unexpected ascination with the concrete theyre
standing on. Sarah tries to stare allulah out. ries to makeher turn her head so she can shoot allulah the look that
says shut up. But allulahs back fnishing the able o Sarah
the Sensible. So in this pastoral care class, way, way back in
year 8, we had to describe ourselves and our partner in one
word only and it had to be positive and honest . . .
Sarah is mute and staring at the ground, wishingallulah would stop it because just the thought o those
days hurts. Sometimes the urge to shout and yell rushes
up Sarahs throat so ast she fnds hersel grabbing hold o
something to keep hersel rom losing balance.
. . . sensible was the only word or Sarah. She told me that
in kindy she was the kid who fgured out Santa wasnt real.
She said, how did one bloke get around the whole world in
twenty-our hours, and i he was so good how come all the
starving kids in Arica missed out.
Te other girls are looking up and laughing, the tension
dissolving around them. But its not or Sarah. Where Sarah
and allulah have ound themselves in their frst year o
college is worse than Sarah could ever have imagined.
Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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At the bar, Sarahs boyriend, Wil, stands in a tight circle o
boys, all rom St Sebastians or Sebbies, the only all-male
college le at Crossley University. Its happy hour so mosto them are up to their third beer. Wil still sips at his frst
because he and Sarah are having dinner with his parents
tonight. Its his mothers fieth birthday.
Sarahs expression crumbles when she spots Wils back.
She taps him on the shoulder.
Wil, why arent you wearing your new shirt? Shesoblivious to the others exchanging glances, one guy even
raising his hand as i to crack a whip. I told you to put it
Calm down. Its in the car.
Sure?
Yes! Remember, you stuck a big note on my cupboard
door to remind me. And its on a hanger.Good boy. Sarah pecks his cheek. Maybe I can train
you aer all.
Oh, Willy, Harry chuckles. Can you be trained into
submission?
Sarah opens her mouth to say something back but thatd
mean eye contact with Harry. So she swallows the words in
a yawn and looks the other way.
Ewans asking Wil i he visited Paige at the hospital last
weekend.
Yeah, he answers.
How was she?
Not so good.
Harry reaches out, thumping Wil on the back and
squeezing his shoulder. Has Paige remembered what
happened? Harry asks.
Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
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No, nothing.
Harrys rubbing his chin and shaking his head as though
hes trying to solve some mathematical conundrum. Idlove to know what really happened. None o it makes sense.
Sarah eels her fngers tightening around her glass o soda
while her other hand fnds the edge o the table, her fngers
gripping it tightly. I know the pool was about to close but
there mustve been someone else who saw something beore
Sarah got there.Sarah just about slams her glass into Wils chest. I have
to go.
Hey?
I have that meeting at college.
But youve got almost an hour.
I have to . . .Are you okay?
Sarah nods. Ill meet you at the car, okay?
Yeah. ext me when the meetings fnished.
Sarah goes to peck him but this time Wil takes her hand.
Youre shaking. Are you sure youre okay?
Ive got to go, Wil.
No rush. We can get to the restaurant late. Mum will
understand. Wil still holds onto her. Are you sure you
want to drive? We can get a taxi. Dadll pick up the tab.
Lets just leave it the way it is, Sarah says. Ill see you
later.
Wil turns back to the boys while Sarah stares out into
the crowd. Te Sebbies bar has almost flled to capacity.
Shoulders are slammed against each other, arms reaching
out like tentacles to pass bottles o beer and multicoloured
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concoctions over heads and through the crowd, the liquid
tipping and spilling on its way.
Tere seem to be lots o aces rom Galston, although itamazes Sarah that, aer six months, there are still people
shes never laid eyes on. Just yesterday, she met a girl or the
very frst time, another resher rom the oor above. But
then, Galston is the biggest co-ed college in the state and
Sarah wouldnt be anywhere else.
Sarah wonders i everyones remembered the meeting.How could they not when all they seem to do is swap stories
o the incident outside the laundry. Sarah knows that i she
wanted to listen shed hear these strangers pass Jesss name
around like a piece o gossip. It used to be Paiges name. Not
any more. Shes almost orgotten.
Sarahs wearing the blue dress she bought last year orher year 12 valedictory dinner. Its a bit tight across the bum
and thighs but she knows Wils mother has never seen it.
Shes avoided spending money on clothes and wasting time
shopping. For Sarah thats a victory.
Her eyes sweep over the crowd one last time. Ten Sarah
hunches over, trying to make hersel as small as possible,
and begins a calculated squeeze through the tangle o
bodies. Te throng is pulsating towards the bar but theres
a gap up ahead thanks to a guy who keeps looking at his
watch, adding up how much more he can consume in the
happy hour. Sarah heads straight or the gap.
Oi, Galstoner! he grunts, slopping his drink down her
cleavage. Back o the queue, sweetheart.
Shit! Shit! Shit! is all Sarah can say as she stumbles to
the saety o the open doors.
Copyright JC Burke 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
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Outside, Sarah checks her dress or damage. Luckily
most o his drink landed inside her dress and only a tiny
circle shows through the abric. Her fngers are busy
dabbing at the spot when she hears someone call her name.
Sarah? Rosie, a senior and the supervisor o their oor,
is coming towards her. Are you eeling okay about the
meeting tonight?
Oh, hi. I was actually going to see i you needed help
setting up. But I just need to run to the laundry and spongemy dress. Ive got my boyriends mums fieth tonight.
Sarah cant resist adding, At Le Charcuterie.
Dont be late. Dr Littman will start bang on six-feen.
You know what a control reak he is.
Do you think everyone in the bar has remembered?
Teyre all grown-ups. Rosies answer makes Sarah eelsmall. Tey dont have to come i they dont want to. Its not
school.
Yeah.
Dont worry, when we were reshers wed be the frst
ones lining up outside the study room so we could all sit
together in the ront row. Big dags, we were.Sarah nods. She can eel hersel smiling but its one o
those smiles that squeezes your heart too tight and ends up
hurting.
At school, the our o them always sat together at
assembly. Whoever got to the hall frst would save the
next three seats in the row. Sometimes other girls wouldmind a seat or Paige or allulah, because they were the
ones everyone wanted to be riends with, but Paige and
allulahs answer was always the same: Tanks, but Im
sitting with the others.
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Sarah, Rosies saying. I should probably warn you that
theres going to be a big photo o Jess up on the screen.
Dr Littman thought it was better that way. No conusionabout who she is . . .
Its okay.
Rosie gives Sarahs shoulder a squeeze. Really? Its been
so tough on you girls. I still think about Paige and then I
think about you and how scared . . .
Please stop, Sarahs saying to hersel. Rosie doesnt knowthat Sarah still hasnt been back inside the Sports Centre.
Tat even picturing the walk through the entrance to the
swimming pool makes Sarah want to throw up, and that
her ear doesnt stop there.
. . . how scared you mustve been that night when you
ound Paige, Rosie says. I dont know how you managed tobe so level-headed. I wouldve reaked out. But you probably
saved Paiges lie.
Its . . . its fne.
I reckon you rinity Hall girls are incredible. So strong.
Honestly, everyones saying it, Sarah.
At the beginning o the year, all the residents wanted
to know which reshers were coming to Galston and what
school they were rom. Te description o them was simple:
allulah Martin-Jones, Paige Blackman, Jessica Walski
and Sarah Murphy are rom rinity Hall. But because o
everything thatd happened, now everyone said: Tose
girls rom rinity Hall, theyre like sisters.
And they had been once. Tey measured their trust with
How longs a piece o string? No secrets between them.
No lies ever told. But as much as these strangers wanted
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to believe it was still like that because it added an extra
touch to the tragedy it simply didnt eel like the truth any
more. At least, not to Sarah.
Sarah hitches up her blue dress, tucks her stilettos under
her arm and trots across the lawn to the laundry.
Shes ocusing on the stain on the ront o her dressbecause that problem is fxable. Like the glued-in le heel
o the shoes shes holding, its fxable. Although, when her
shoe broke at Wils year 12 ormal, it had elt like the worlds
worst disaster.
Wil, Harry and Ewan had all gone to Bartholomew
House. Its ormal was the one all the girls hoped to beinvited to. allulah, Paige and Sarah were. Not Jess. Shed
been a good sport, though.
Jess lent Sarah her best suck-in undies and held up allu-
lahs dress all the way down the stairs and outside to where
the candy-pink stretch hummer and their dates waited.
She sent them o with waves and kisses and watched while
their limousine looped around the centre oval, back along
the driveway and out the gates o rinity Hall.
Sarah elt proud to be with this group; proud o her girl-
riends and that Wil was hers. She sat high in the seat, her
back straight against the leather, but gradually her attention
was caught by how incredible the other girls dresses were.
allulahs was green silk. It was glossy and rich and glided
along with her. And why hadnt Sarah noticed the delicate
oyster-coloured sequins that sparkled on Paiges dress?
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Sarah had thought hers beautiul too and she loved
that it gave her a little cleavage, but next to the others, she
wondered i it looked cheap. Was the abric too shiny and
the hem the wrong length?
allulahs was split all the way to the thigh on one side.
Every now and then a oal-like leg would untangle and
recross itsel. Each time, Sarah answered that smooth,
tanned limb by recrossing her arms and sinking urther
into the seat. She was araid that i her hands were ree they
might end up slapping Wil, because he was practically drib-bling on his tuxedo.
When they were walking down the driveway o the
waterront mansion where the pre-ormal cocktails were
being held, the le heel o Sarahs stiletto suddenly snapped,
landing her ace-frst in the gutter. She knew it was not
going to be her starring night.Te palms o her hands were grazed and her right knee
was beginning to bleed. But what hurt the most was when
allulah took Sarahs shoe rom her to inspect the damage.
No wonder, allulah announced to whoever was in
earshot. Made-in-China cheapies. What do you expect,
Sarah!Paige said to allulah, Dont be a snobby bitch, Lulah!
Just because your ather bought you Jimmy Choos.
For the rest o the night, Paige and allulah cracked up
every time they spotted Sarah clip-clopping through the
crowd. Tey werent aware how much their laughter hurt
and humiliated her, because Sarah had already come upwith a line. Im doing the povo limp, she joked every time
she saw them.
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photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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Outside the laundry, Sarahs still holding her le shoe,
staring at the bubbles o glue around the heel and thinking
that she shouldve taken her mums advice and boughta new pair. Instead, shed delivered her stock-standard
answer: Mum, you know I would rather shoot mysel than
go shopping.
Sarah puts her shoe back on and pulls at her dress, at-
tening the abric across her thighs. She scans the tiny vodka
stain on the ront and tells her outft it had better hold upor the night.
Another little thing about Wils ormal still bugs her. Did
Wil tell her she looked nice that night? Jess did. allulah
slapped her on the bum and sang, Lookin good, girl-
riend. And while Paige patiently applied Sarahs mascara
she mouthed, You look so beautiul, Sarah.She can still clearly hear Wil suck in his breath and
utter wow as allulah climbed into the stretch hummer.
But she cant recall him saying anything nice to her and,
call her pathetic and tragic, which is what Sarah eels when
she fnds hersel thinking about this, that thought bugs her.
Sometimes it bugs her a lot.
Shes just about to ick on the laundry light when she
spots Jesss lilies. Suddenly she eels oolish. Tats the thing
about her cheap, broken shoe and the Bartholomew House
ormal. None o it matters now.
When Sarah switches on the light she sees a guy in a
grey beanie sitting on an old chair, his eet up on a washing
machine.
Shite! Sarah gasps. You scared me.
Sorry.
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I didnt think anyone was in here.
I have a shocker o a headache. He glances up and Sarah
sees that he has the greenest eyes, as though theyve been
coloured in with a texta. Tats why the light was o.
Oh, sorry. Sarah is standing there waiting or him to
let her through, surprised again to encounter a Galstoner
shes never seen beore. Um, excuse me. I need to get to the
basin.
He drops his legs and she squeezes through to the lineo silver tubs. Never one to be good with silences, Sarah
begins conversation. So . . . are you going to the meeting?
Which one?
Te one tonight, in the study room.
Really? Whats it about?
You know, about Jess.Oh! Shit, yeah. He jumps up. Hes tall, maybe even taller
than Harry, and Sarah wonders i she has seen him beore.
Or is it just that his look is amiliar? It can be hard to tell
one person rom another when you live among the genet-
ically privileged. Tats how Sarah thinks o them. Rich
and good-looking. o Sarah, it seems the two go together.Which she considers unair, as i theyve hogged all the
good genes. I knew there was something on tonight, hes
saying. What times it on?
In feen minutes.
Hes yawning now. Stretching his arms above his head.
Whats it about? Specifcally, I mean.Im not really sure. Maybe about saety or something.
Did you know Jess Wollaski?
Walski. Its Jess Walski, she says. I went to . . . to school
with her.
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photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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Oh. Sorry.
Now Sarahs squeezing past him again. Id better go.
As Sarah leaves, he whispers what sounds like, Youpoor little girl. But as she turns the corner, she almost trips
in her China cheapies. You poor pretty girl. Tats what he
said.
Teres no time to think about it because there are voices
coming rom the path outside the laundry.
Were a bit early, arent we? Its a guy. He sounds drunk.I hadnt fnished my beer.
Were early because Im not using those disgusting
toilets in the Sebbies bar, a girls voice answers. Tere was
already spew all over the oor.
It was that resher Brylie. I dont think shes ever had a
drink beore.Brylie? What kind o a name is that? Im going up to my
room to pee. Save me a seat?
Hey, the police tapes gone! Its the drunk guy again.
Shows how much washing you do.
People start laughing and Sarahs legs move aster.
Te tapes been gone or over a week, Eddie.
Is the blood still there?
Eddie!
Sarah breaks into a run.
Te chairs or the meeting have been set up in the Galston
College study room. Its probably Sarahs avourite place in
the whole o Crossley University. Te urniture is elegant,
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photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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7/29/2019 September Free Chapter - Pretty Girl by J.C. Burke
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the cedar desks exuding the scent o tradition and success.
Te sword o a ormer King o England hangs proudly on
the wall. On either side are curtains made in rich navyvelvet, the pelmets displaying the Galston College crest in
thick, golden thread.
Shes surprised to fnd allulah beside Rosie, both o
them bent over a data projector.
Uh, hi, says Sarah.
You were quick, Rosie answers. Did you fx yourdress?
Suddenly a giant image o Jess at their year 12 valedict-
ory dinner launches onto the screen. Seeing Jesss smiling
ace hits Sarah like a punch in the guts, and somehow the
act that allulah is standing right beside her makes it even
worse.Yay! allulah cries. It worked! Dont you think this is a
heaps better photo, Sarah?
Sarahs leaning into the wall. She can eel the cold bricks
on her back.
allulah keeps going. I hate the one that was in the
newspapers. Jess looks so, so serious and so skinny in it. She
wouldnt have liked it. Sarah and I know she wouldnt. Jess
hated that she was so little.
But allulah and Sarah had never discussed the photo o
Jess in the newspaper. Tey can barely speak to each other.
At least, not about the things people probably think theyre
talking about.
So, she wouldve liked this picture? asks Rosie.
It was her profle picture on Facebook or ages. Tats
always a sign. Ten without even looking up rom the
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photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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7/29/2019 September Free Chapter - Pretty Girl by J.C. Burke
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projector, allulah says, Hey, Sarah, isnt that your valedict-
ory dress? She points at Sarahs eet. And I see those shoes
are still with us. I thought Paige nicked them?Did you girls always swap clothes? Rosie asks.
allulah means nick them to throw them out.
Oh, says Rosie.
Come on, they were pretty bad shoes, Sarah!
Im dressed up because weve got Wils mums fieth
tonight.Let me guess, at Le Charcuterie? Beore Sarah can
answer, allulah is groaning, Borrrrrring. Tat place is so
dark and the ood is so heavy it makes me want to crawl
under the table and have a snooze.
I think the oods antastic, Rosie says. Last year, I went
to its sister restaurant in London.Ive been there!
What did you think? Rosie asks allulah.
As allulah and Rosie swap degustation menus, Sarah
stands there eeling like the country cousin, yet again. She
stares at the Galston College crest, the motto repeating
inside her head. Incipit Vita Nova: A New Lie Begins.
At the start o the year, Sarah would suck in her breath
with excitement every time she read those words, because
Galston College was a new lie. Now she sucks in her breath
because its a cruel joke. Jess is dead and Paige is virtually
locked away rom them. How did it happen? Because Sarah
didnt see it coming.
Rosies saying, Dr Littman wants to have the picture up
so people will see it when they walk in.
allulahs shaking her head. What? In case theres some
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random person whos had their head up their bum or the
last three weeks and doesnt know who Jess is?
I think so.Sarah knows its petty, her sensible side tells her this, but
she cant help wondering why Rosie asked allulah to help
and not her. Doesnt Rosie know that Sarah is the one who
helps with these types o things? At school she was a preect
and the head library monitor and elected to the student
representative council three years in a row. Not allulah.allulah was too busy smoking out o the boarding room
window or sneaking o at night to meet a boy on the tennis
courts while Jess stayed on the lookout or her.
Galstoners are starting to wander into the study room
and take seats. Dr Littman, the college master, enters and
walks straight up to Rosie. He thanks her or putting up theimage o Jess. Rosie, without a alter, answers him with, It
was allulah who did it all, Dr Littman. Not me.
Tank you, allulah, Dr Littman says and shakes her
hand.
Hey, Sarah? allulah turns. Save me a . . .
But Sarah has already darted away, almost tripping
over the chairs. She wants to take the last seat in the back
row the one thats nearly hidden behind the blue curtain
but she knows thats as conspicuous as sitting up the ront.
So, she opts or the end chair in the third-back row because
its the last single seat le.
It takes a while or everyone to settle. Dr Littman asks
or quiet, makes a reerence to the smiling image o Jess,
clears his throat and begins to speak.
I thought it important we had this meeting so that
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were all up to date on whats going on. Tat way I think the
spread o rumours can be averted.
Some random in the ront row throws up his hand. DrLittman, is there any link between what happened to Paige
Blackman and Jessica Walski?
Teres a grumble in the crowd and Sarah wonders what
it means.
Ten a girl calls out, Tis is serious!
What happened to Paige Blackman is serious too! theboy snaps back. Tats why Im asking.
Can everyone please settle down, Dr Littman orders.
Teres defnitely no link between Paige and Jessica. As you
all know, Paige is still recovering. She has a long journey
ahead o her and we wish her well. Dr Littman turns so that
hes looking at Jesss picture. Jessica Walski was happy anddoing well with her studies. Tat we do know. However, as
the coroners report is pending, there are still many things
we dont know. At this stage the police have no reason to
think there was oul play involved.
He clasps his hands together. It seems . . . It seems Jess
either took her lie or simply ell o the laundry roo in a
tragic accident. Most probably it is the latter.
Teres a sudden silence in the study room, as i its an
unscheduled moment or reection. Sarah notices couples
hugging each other and residents exchanging looks and
squeezing hands. She sits there eeling numb, staring into
the back o allulahs head and hoping like crazy that
nobody touches her.
Littmans back to business. I dont want to keep you long
but there are a ew things to discuss. I know its been three
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weeks but the police are very keen to speak with those who
remember anything. It doesnt matter how insignifcant the
detail may seem, please come orward. We simply want tounderstand what happened that night and put everyones
minds at rest. He turns to Rosie. Do we have the other slide?
Rosie hits the remote and a photo o a gold ring dotted with
emeralds and sapphires replaces the smiling ace o Jess.
Tis ring o Jessicas is missing, Dr Littman says. Her
room has been searched thoroughly. She wasnt wearing thering when she was ound, but apparently she rarely took
it o.
Dr Littman keeps talking and Sarah wonders i he
knows how tiny and delicate Jesss fngers were. Tat the
ring had been made smaller to ft her and that allulah had
once tried it on her pinkie and even then it got stuck. Sarahhad called her dad, whos a nurse, to ask about the best way
to get it o.
A lot o stu has been stolen out o residents rooms
lately, a voice calls. My laptop was nicked and the room
next door had
Im aware o this, Dr Littman interrupts. Sarah ades
in and out o Littmans speech. She hears snippets, such as
that 24-hour counselling is still available and to be aware o
reporters snooping around campus asking questions. But
most o the time she hears nothing. She just sits there.
Te thick chocolate-coloured carpet o Le Charcuterie
absorbs the natter o prenuptial agreements, company
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photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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takeovers and the indiscretions o the genetically priv-
ileged. When Sarah walks in, its not resting Wagyu bee
that she smells its money, old money.No one would ever suspect it, but Sarah plays a game
with hersel. She calls it What would you preer?. Would
she stay poor not that her amilys actually properly poor
or would she preer to be nouveau riche or cashed-up
bogans, like Harry and Wil say Ewans amily is. Whatever
it means to them, she knows its not good. In act, Sarahunderstands that to be nouveau in the world o Galston and
St Sebastians is probably worse than being ordinary as
she is considered to be, with a mother whos a teacher and a
ather whos a nurse.
Wils mother Winnie says teachers and nurses are
exceptional, that theirs are the most honourable proessionsin the world. Yet neither she nor her husband picked such
occupations, and nor did their children, Wil and Miranda.
o be air, Sarah understands the general gist o what
Winnie means, which is why when she plays the What
would you preer? game, she picks her predicament over
Ewans any day.
Its an intimate dinner in one o Le Charcuteries
cedar-panelled private rooms. Just Wils parents, Winnie
and Richard, our o their closest riends and Sarah
and Wil.
Te absence o the Blackmans, Paiges parents, seems to
take up all the space in the room. Its mentioned by Winnie
at the very beginning o dinner, as though its a point o
housekeeping that needs to be dealt with then put away.
Welcome and thank you all or joining us tonight.
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Winnie stays seated as she speaks, her hands neatly clasped
on the table as i shes still at work in the courtroom prepar-
ing to pass down a sentence. It means a great deal tohave people I love so dearly here with us. I almost shed a
tear when Miranda rang rom Paris to say she was sorry
she couldnt be here to help celebrate, but a second later I
realised she was talking to me rom a boulangerie where
she was ordering her frst cae au lait or the day, and I knew
she probably wasnt sorry at all.Laughter rom around the table.
Anyway, I have Wil here and o course dear Sarah,
whom Im so glad could join us tonight.
Tank you, Winnie. Sarah smiles, and Wil takes her
hand and squeezes it. For the rest o Winnies speech,
her hand sits comortably on his lap and Sarah eels likeshes part o this world.
How ortunate am I to have such a wonderul amily . . .
Winnie hesitates. Blessed with good health and ortune.
I oen think about that, and even more so recently. It was
too much or Jenny and Ross to come tonight. Darling
Paige is improving, but its a slow and painul process. So,
my birthday wish is that next year we will all be together
again and this annus horribilis will be well behind us.
A toast to Winnie is ollowed by a toast to Paige and the
Blackmans, and Sarah thinks it wont be mentioned again
or the rest o the night. But the conversation o adults
even judges and doctors and politicians loses its elegance
with too much burgundy, and later in the evening Sarah
fnds hersel wedged between Winnie and one o the other
wives, whose eyes seem to have lost their ability to ocus.
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Did you know or suspect that Paige was taking drugs?
Winnie asks Sarah. I dont want to put you on the spot, but
surely you wouldve noticed something?It wont leave these our walls, adds the other woman,
whose gaze is struggling to centre on Sarahs ace. Cross
our hearts.
Or do you think she was depressed? Winnie continues.
Te wrist injury she suered last year seemed to throw her
o a bit. But she was back training and diving again andgod knows Paiges nerves are made o steel.
It does seem odd to be loaded up with those Quaaludes
or whatever theyre called, the other lady says. And on a
diving board at night.
Tats why I wonder i she was depressed. But Sarah, i
you didnt Mum! Wil leans over the table. Stop it! Sarah cant tell
you anything I havent. Paige isnt into drugs. Im sure once
shes all better shell be able to explain it.
But Wil doesnt know about the Tursday night Sarah
walked into allulahs room. All she wanted was to get an
essay back. She wasnt even planning on staying or a chat
because she had a law assignment due the next morning. In
and out, three seconds tops. Sarah simply knocked once,
then opened the door o allulahs room.
Paige and allulah were huddled over the desk, their
heads almost touching. Tere was a tapping noise as
though one o them was emptying pencil shavings out o a
sharpener.
Sarah wasnt sure theyd heard her. So she called again.
Helloooo?
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