Self-CompassionOsher Center for Integrative Medicine

Thursday, May 14, 2015Dr. Helene Moore, Psy.D.Dr. Maggie Crowley, Psy.D.

Centering Exercise

The time will comewhen, with elationyou will greet yourself arrivingat your own door, in your own mirrorand each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self.Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heartto itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignoredfor another, who knows you by heart.Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror.Sit. Feast on your life.

“Love After Love” by Derek Walcott

What is Self-Compassion?

• Treating ourselves with the same kindness, care and concern that we would give to a close friend.

• Being kind without judgment.

• Giving ourselves permission to be human.

Self-Compassion: 3 Components

KINDNESS

COMMON HUMANITY

MINDFULNESS

Gestures of Self-Compassion

• Hand Over Heart - Metaphor for kindness (comfort, peace, acceptance)

• Open Arms - Metaphor for common humanity

• Open Palms - Metaphor for mindfulness

•Making Fists - Metaphor for self-criticism

Soothing TouchLet’s Give it A Try…

Why Not Be Self-Compassionate?

• I’ve gotta be tough.• It’s for wimps.• I’m letting myself off the hook - not taking responsibility.• I’m being selfish.• I’m deluding myself.• It will undermine my motivation.

Really?

What we tell ourselves…

No, Not Really!

• The HARDER we are on ourselves when trying to make a change, the LESS likely we are to succeed and the MORE likely we are to have set backs.

• Self-criticism actually moves us AWAY form our goals.

• Self-criticism shuts down self-awareness…We miss the opportunity to learn from our circumstances.

Research on self-criticism & behavior change suggests otherwise:

Self-Criticism Produces

Shame

Need to Self Soothe

Turn toward behaviors trying to change

Moving away from our goals:

Opposing Forces of Self-Compassion

Self-Indulg

ent

Self-Critic

al

Opposing Forces of Self-Compassion

Self-Indulgent Self-Compassion Self-Critical

How is Self-Compassion Different?

Kindness

Awareness

Insight

Self-Compassion BreakResponding to Our Suffering…

Benefits of Self-Compassion

•Well-Being•Motivation• Personal Accountability• Resilience• Healthier Behaviors• Better Physical Health• Healthier Body Image and Eating• Better Romantic Relationships• Other-Focused Concern

Research suggests it is positively linked to:

Can Self-Compassion Be Taught?

Mindfulness Training

Compassion-Focused Therapy

Self-Compassion

Letter Writing

Meditations for Body

Image

Yes! Absolutely! Of Course! No Doubt!

Let’s Practice Self-Compassion

Questions?

Thank YouFor more information: www.self-compassion.org