self as an instrument of change
TRANSCRIPT
SELF AS INSTRUMENT OF CHANGE | Kim MorganOWNER & DIRECTOR
“Any leader of transformation needs to learn the psychology of individuals, the psychology of the group, the psychology of society and the psychology of change.”
W. Edwards Deming
…AND THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THEMSELVES.
Use of self is central to
our work
WAIT – Why Am I Talking?
High Quality Attention
Questions - but not for the purpose of gathering information for you
Questions which advance the thinking of the other person
Sit on the edge of your chair and demonstrate fascination
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Coach as an Instrument of Change:
EMOTION DISCOMFORT TRANSFORMATION
“We remember life’s important moments especially well. Emotional experiences, whether good or bad, leave strong traces in the brain.”
Joseph E. LeDouxCentre for Neural Science, NYU
Mezirow | Situations which give rise to critical self-reflection and transformational learning:
▪ A disorienting dilemma
▪ A state of puzzlement
Jarvis | Non-transformative situations:
“Non-learning is our response to everyday experience. As long as experience conforms toour mental models, no learning is required.”
“Presence is the living embodiment of knowledge: the theories and practices believed to be essential to bring about change… are manifested, symbolized or implied in the presence of the consultant”
Nevis
Provide a presence that is lacking in the system
Develop congruence between your behaviour and what you teach others
Become an awareness expert
Help the client focus on their problems not on solutions you favour
Role model basic behavioural skills (communication, conflict, decisions)
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Coach as an Instrument of Change:
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Burke | Coach as an Instrument of Change:
Ability to tolerate ambiguity
Ability to discover and mobilize human energy
A sense of mission
Ability to recognize own feelings and intuitions quickly
Ability to create learning opportunities
CAN YOU HANDLE EMOTION?
ARE YOU READY FOR DISCOMFORT?
De Haan | Transformational moments occur when:
▪ Tensions, uncertainties and anxieties arise
▪ The coaching relationship is put to the test
▪ A particular vulnerability is examined
▪ The coach accesses their own emotions
“The primary instrument in coaching is the coach/practitioner.”
Burke
WHO YOU ARE IS HOW YOU COACH
PERFECTIONISMPEOPLE PLEASING
OSTRICH
SYNDROME
GOING TOEXCESS
IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
COPING WITH LOSS
SEARCHING FOR FULFILMENT
DRIVEN BY FEAR
FIERCE INDEPENDENCE
CYNICISM
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
PROCRASTINATION
“Learn your theories as well as you can, but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul.”
Jung
Group Dynamics - the composite affect on feelings and behaviour of the unconscious processes of the group.
“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”
• Underpinning assumptions
• Behaviour as a function of person in their environment
• Coalitions
• Roles and “Black Sheep” syndrome or scapegoating
• In crowd/out crowd
• Group Think
• Homeostasis
• Transference
• Projection
• Idealization of “leader” (YOU!)
• Unconscious communication
AWARENESS OF:
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How to increase self-knowledge:
Reflective Practice
Power and boundary issues
Integrate personal and family history into a source of strength
Awareness of self and awareness of regret/lack of effectiveness
Self-care
Awareness of the impact we make
Choice about how we use our impactChoice about ourresponse
Getting ‘Hooked’ |Loss of ability to choose our responses:
AuthorityConflictIntimacyFearEgo
Where am I reactive?
When was the last time I got hooked by someone?
What hooked me? Judgments, thoughts / feelings?
What happened to my ability to choose my behaviour?
What can I learn from this?
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Reflection exercise in pairs:
Developing instrumentality:Commitment to ongoing technical expertise and self-knowledge.It starts here….
Kim Morgan
Director of Barefoot Coaching Ltd
@BarefootCoaches
www.barefootcoaching.co.uk Available now on Amazon