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Second Family Gathering on Amoris Laetitia and We Are Family

Chapter 1 of the Apostolic Exhortation

I. WELCOME and OPENING PRAYER – at Holy Mass or in the place where the gathering is to be held

We gather as faithful sons and daughters of the Church

And as faithful sons and daughters of Don Bosco

To live the call being made to us by the Holy Father and by the Rector Major

Prayer of Mother Teresa for the family

Heavenly Father, you have given us the model of life in the Holy Family of Nazareth.

Help us, O Loving Father, to make our family another Nazareth where love, peace and joy reign.

May it be deeply contemplative, intensely Eucharistic, revived with joy.

Help us to stay together in joy and sorrow in family prayer.

Teach us to see Jesus in the members of our families,

especially in their distressing disguise.

May the Eucharistic heart of Jesus make our hearts humble like his

and help us to carry out our family duties in a holy way.

May we love one another as God loves each one of us,

more and more each day, and forgive each other's faults as you forgive our sins.

Help us, O Loving Father, to take whatever you give and give whatever you take with a big smile.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, cause of our joy, pray for us.

St Joseph, pray for us. Holy Guardian Angels, be always with us, guide and protect us. Amen.

Prayer of Mother Teresa of Calcutta composed in 1994, World Year of the Family

*Opening prayer if gathering held outside of Holy Mass

II. STRENNA PRESENTATION BY DON ANGEL

Chapter I. The family in the light of the Word of God (AL nos. 8-30)

The family appears frequently in the Scriptures, from the opening pages to the Book of Revela-

tion; the Scriptures speak about generations, love stories, family crises, violence in the family. “The idyl-

lic picture presented in Psalm 128[5] does not negate a bitter truth found throughout sacred Scripture,

that is, the presence of pain, evil, and violence which break up families and their communion of life and

love.”[6]

At the center of this Psalm 128 is a couple, a man and a woman, and their love story. “So God cre-

ated man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen

1:27). This couple who love and generate life is an image of God the Creator and Savior. This fruitful love

is a sign of the intimate reality of God, because in the depth of his mystery God is not solitude but family.

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The experience of suffering and bloodshed in the family

Suffering, evil, and violence are a reality present in the family from its very beginning, as sacred

Scripture describes it. In the first family there is Cain’s murder of his brother Abel; there are great dis-

putes in the families of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, David, Solomon, Tobiah, Job, et al. In his sickness Job

bitterly complains about his family in these words: He has put my brothers far from me, My kinsfolk

and my close friends have failed me.... The guests in my house have forgotten me.... I am repulsive to my

wife, loathsome to the sons of my own mother. Those I loved best have turned against me... (Job 19:13-

19).

The Gospels too report many family tragedies and painful situations at which Jesus was present:

the illness of Peter’s mother-in-law, the death of Lazarus, the death of the daughter of Jairus, the widow

of Naim’s tragic loss, the lack of wine at the marriage feast in Cana of Galilee, etc. This helps us under-

stand that the family as presented in the Bible is not an abstract reality: there are crises, sufferings, trib-

ulations, frailties, sorrows, cries of anguish, etc. The same thing can be said about the lights and shadows

that illuminate or obscure family situations, or work, which is the means of sustenance and something

that can be a source of happiness or sorrow and anxiety.

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III. REFLECTION BY DON ROGGIA

Quoting John Paul II, Pope Francis begins the second chapter of Amoris Laetitia saying that we do

well to focus on concrete realities, since “the call and the demands of the Spirit resound in the events of

history”, and through these “the Church can also be guided to a more profound understanding of the in-

exhaustible mystery of marriage and the family”. (AL 31).

Libera nos Domine

With a realistic look, the Pope and the Synod Fathers touched on the great challenges that the

family is facing in today's world. Seeing them one after the other they look like the sorrowful litany of

requests for help that we used to recite in Latin when I was a child on rogation days, early in the morn-

ing when priest and people went in procession through the fields and vineyards praying: “A fulgure et

tempestate .... Libera nos Domine!” (from lightning and tempest, deliver us Lord!).

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There is an exaggerated individualism that distorts family ties. The pace of modern life, stress,

social organization and work, and other cultural factors endanger the very possibility of permanent

choices. Genuine freedom is confused with the idea that everyone can decide as they please. The theolog-

ical ideal of marriage is too abstract, almost artificially constructed, and so far removed from the actual

situation and the real possibilities of families that marriage seems no longer desirable and attractive, but

quite the opposite. Emotional relationships have become like what happens to objects and the environ-

ment – everything has become disposable, to be used and then thrown away, wasted and broken. We

live in a culture that encourages young people not to start a family, because they have few possibilities

for the future. Marital crises are frequently met abruptly without the courage needed for patience, evalu-

ation, mutual forgiveness, reconciliation and even sacrifice. The consumer society may also dissuade

people from having children just to maintain their freedom and their way of life. There is a general feel-

ing of helplessness in the face of the socio-economic reality that often ends up crushing families. The sex-

ual exploitation of children constitutes one of the most scandalous and perverse realities of today's soci-

ety. Migration is another sign of the times to be faced and understood with all its consequences for fami-

ly life. Euthanasia and assisted suicide are serious threats to families all over the world. Families are of-

ten sick because of the enormous anxiety they face. From all this ... deliver us, Lord!

Having our feet firmly on earth does not in any way stop us from looking up and seeing into the

far distance. At the end of this second chapter, Pope Francis quote the bishops of Colombia saying force-

fully that despite these situations in which families live today we have every reason to hope, and to

transform life through the power of love.

The situations that concern us are challenges. We should not be trapped into

wasting our energy in doleful laments, but rather seek new forms of missionary

creativity. In every situation that presents itself, “the Church is conscious of the

need to offer a word of truth and hope… The great values of marriage and the

Christian family correspond to a yearning that is part and parcel of human ex-

istence.” If we see any number of problems, these should be, as the Bishops of

Colombia have said, a summons to “revive our hope and to make it the source

of prophetic visions, transformative actions and creative forms of charity”.

(AL57)

The wisdom hidden in the genealogy

There is a reading in the breviary in which St. Augustine sixteen centuries ago chided the faithful

of Hippo when they lamented the 'good old days' and complained of the troubles of their own age. Every

time has its challenges and its gifts and our time is the best time we have to give the best of ourselves,

since it is the only time available to us. But from the past we can learn not to be frightened or discour-

aged in our day.

Since we have already rewritten the litanies in the preceding paragraphs, we may as well stay on

the same wavelength and take a look at that long litany of names that begins the Gospel of Matthew,

which presents the family tree right down to "Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus who

is called Christ "(Mt 1:16). It is a concentration of history in the most concise possible form: each genera-

tion enclosed in a simple name.

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Yet those names say a lot. They reveal dangerous curves, radiant moments but also dark nights

among the ancestors of the family of Nazareth, in which God chose to be born and grow.

It is not necessary to browse through the history of each of them. We shall take only two verses, 5

and 6, because they relate to a well-known and particularly important link in this chain, namely David.

"Salmon was the father of Booz by Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed was the father of

Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah."

This is a beautiful account of the past of the family of Jesus because it reveals the ups and downs

of the family history of each of us. Rahab is the prostitute of Jericho who facilitated the entry of the Isra-

elites into the Promised Land (the second chapter of the book of Joshua). Ruth is a foreigner who migrat-

ed to the territory of Israel from Moab, beyond the Dead Sea, because of famine, and she was the grand-

mother of David. As for Solomon, it is not easy to forget the circumstances of his birth. David fell in love

with Bathsheba as he spied on her while she was bathing, and he orchestrates things from bad to worse,

even to the killing of Uriah her husband in order to cover up the adultery that he, the king, had commit-

ted (2 Samuel, ch. 11).

The Word of God! Certainly. Our history as it is: that is where God came to pitch his tent, to be-

come flesh, so that it becomes the history of salvation.

"Every person is a sacred history". This is one of the great books of Jean Vanier, founder of the

l'Arche communities, a man who experienced the suffering of millions of families around the world. Eve-

ry one of our stories embodies the same mystery of death and resurrection that is in the whole history

of mankind, depicted without any omissions in the history from Adam to the marriage of the Lamb with

the new Jerusalem, with which the last page of the Bible concludes.

Was the story of Mary from Nazareth to the Cenacle, with the station that has the weight of an

endless AMEN under the cross (Stabat Mater!), any less demanding, any less rooted in difficult times? It

is heartening to see that the beginning of Jesus' ministry coincides with a family story that starts right

from the day of the wedding, and it is Mary, in a country village 14 km from her home, who transformed

a critical moment into what happened "in Cana of Galilee, the beginning of the signs performed by Jesus;

He revealed his glory, and his disciples believed in him "(Jn 2:11).

It is equally encouraging to note that the beginnings of the family of the Church, with Mary as

mother of John and the others, as related by Luke in the first chapters of the Acts of the Apostles, was

not all rosy. We read of persecutions, the fraud of Ananias and Sapphira, the problems associated with

the growth of the community, where "the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their wid-

ows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food.” (Acts 6: 1), and the dispersal after the ston-

ing of Stephen ... These were the days of Pentecost, but they were not immune from the strain that we

have already seen, with which we are dealing today and which will be part of our pilgrimage in this val-

ley of tears for ever and ever. We listen again to what Pope Francis says: If we see any number of prob-

lems, these should be, as the Bishops of Colombia have said, a summons to “revive our hope and to make it

the source of prophetic visions, transformative actions and creative forms of charity”. (AL57).

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IV. From Strenna 2017: Don Bosco, in a family but without a father

I was not yet two years old when the merciful Lord hit us with a sad bereave-ment. My dearly loved father died unexpectedly. He was strong and healthy, still young and actively interested in promoting a good Christian upbringing for his offspring. One day he came home from work covered in sweat and imprudently went down into a cold cellar. That night he developed a high temperature, the first sign of a serious illness. Every effort to cure him proved vain. Within a few days he was at death’s door. Strengthened by all the comforts of religion, he recommended to my mother confidence in God, then died, aged only thirty-four, on 12 May 1817. I do not know how I reacted on that sad occasion. One thing only do I remember, and it is my earliest memory. We were all going out of the room where he had died and I insisted on staying behind. My grieving mother addressed me, “Come, John, come with me.” “If papa’s not coming, I don’t want to come,” I answered. “My poor son,” my mother replied, “come with me; you no longer have a father.”

Thus, 56 years later, Don Bosco himself described that moment in his life. Don Bosco was very

sparing when he spoke about himself, particularly in expressing his feelings, but with these few lines he

displayed his tears, his inability as a little child to understand what was happening, realizing that his fa-

ther was not moving and did not reply to him, and the weeping of his mother, now a widow, who on that

day saw her life change completely.

Whether the memory of that moment remained so vivid in Don Bosco or whether that is scarcely

likely – such a memory being hardly credible, as one writer believes, maintaining that it is more likely

that it is a memory of what the grownups had told him while he was still a child – in any case, Don Bosco

tells us about the new circumstances his family found themselves in, which now were no longer what

many other “normal” families were in. They had to learn to grow up and develop without the person of

the father and with the person of a mother who certainly had shown exceptional gifts. We can come to

understand this from everything that Don Bosco describes in a very understated manner. The great hu-

man and Christian qualities of that peasant woman, a widow and a mother with a family of five to care

for, can be seen. This woman rejects a proposal for a second marriage that would have been very helpful

for her. Her three sons would have been entrusted to a good guardian who would have taken great care

of them. But the generous woman replied: “A guardian could only be their friend, but I am a mother to

these sons of mine. All the gold in the world could never make me abandon them.” Don Bosco tells how

his mother’s “greatest care was given to instructing her sons in their religion, making them value obedi-

ence, and keeping them busy with tasks suited to their age.”

From this we can see that the family of little John, suffering from being an orphan, could enjoy the

deep love of a mother who consecrated her whole life to her sons, a mother who was for them the first

and most important religious teacher. A woman taught them to be responsible, work hard and diligently,

and show loving care for those poorer than themselves. In the midst of so many difficulties and straight-

ened circumstances, a mother did everything possible so that her son might follow his vocation and the

call to the priesthood.

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CLICK TO HYPERLINK FOR VIDEO:

V. VIDEO, POWER POINT PRESENTATION, OR GUIDED GROUP READING

Chapter 1 by Fr. Pat Angelucci, SDB* (also on Don Bosco Salesian Portal YouTube Channel)

Power Point Series on Amoris Laetitia by Sr. Theresa Kelly, FMA*

Diocese of Broken Bay Study Guide*

Monthly Reflections of Don Ruggia, SDB, for ADMA*

World Meeting of Families’ Amoris Programme (beginning in the Fall)*

The Joy of Love: Group Reading Guide by Bill Huebsch (will need to be purchased)

N.B. – All of the above come with prepared discussion questions

*Available for linking to/downloading from the homepage of https://DonBoscoSalesianPortal.org

VI. PERSONAL REFLECTION TIME and MEAL & SHARING AT TABLE/SMALL GROUP SHARING

VII. LARGE GROUP SHARING

Bringing back to the large group the discussion held at table or in the small groups

VIII. THE KAIROS OF MARIAN DEVOTIONS (continuation of Don Roggia’s reflection)

KAIROS is one of the most precious words of the Gospel. It is Greek for a favourable moment, the ful-filment of the promises, the 'day of salvation'. We hear it at the reading of the Mass that opens the Len-ten journey. But it is the same word that is used to denote spring or autumn. It is the word in New Testa-ment Greek for 'season'.

3 November 1846 was the season or kairos for Don Bosco to return to Turin after a long conva-

lescence following the disease that had almost brought him to the grave and from which the prayers of

his boys had saved him. He came all the way on foot (33 km) together with his mother, Margaret, whom

he has asked to come to act as a mother to his boys.

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Margaret was a member of the confraternity of Our Lady of Sorrows in Castelnuovo. The presi-

dent was the mother of Joseph Cafasso, the holy priest four years older than Don Bosco who guided him

in everything. Let’s put together the pieces of this mosaic. John Bosco grew up at Becchi learning to pray

to Our Lady under the title of Our Lady of Sorrows, in the early part of his life, marked by suffering: the

death of his father, the poverty that often amounted to misery, having to leave home for three years be-

cause of misunderstandings with his brother Anthony. Our Lady, the Mother of sorrows, was the con-

stant presence that gave him strength to continue in that little house at the Becchi. She was the one who

taught him to 'make himself humble, strong and robust', in preparation for a future that was to be no

less challenging than what he had already experienced in his childhood.

As a teenager at Chieri John learned to trust unreservedly the 'Madonna delle Grazie', Our Lady of

Grace whom his dear friend Comollo taught him to love. Among the graces he received - and for

which we in the whole Salesian Family are immensely grateful to Mary - there was the grace of being

able to say yes to his vocation and enter the seminary. It was not something that could be taken for

granted for a young man living in Chieri at that time. The 'kairos' was resolutely determined, according

to Don Bosco himself, on the ninth day of the novena to know 'what he should to do with his life', the no-

vena that he and Comollo had just made at the altar of Our Lady of Grace in the Cathedral in Chieri.

Here they are now, John and Margaret, arriving on foot at Valdocco. His mother consoled herself

jokingly when they entered the Pinardi House and she saw the empty room: "At the Becchi I was busy

every day putting things in order, cleaning the furniture and washing the dishes. Here I will be able rest

a lot more!" Just ten minutes away from Valdocco there is the Shrine of the Consolata. The first statue of

Mary that Don Bosco brought to Valdocco was a papier mache statue of Our Lady of Consolation. Mary

was the source of all consolation because she was the one who more than any other received the Spirit

who is the Consoler. She was the 'Consolata', the one consoled. Again, there was perfect harmony be-

tween the presence of Mary through this devotion and the season of life that Don Bosco was going

through. Don Bosco and Mamma Margaret will soon become the family of hundreds of orphans. They

will be the source of consolation and comfort for many children who have lost the warmth of a home.

If we allow ourselves to be accompanied by Mary, who knows how to be close to us in the right

way at each new stage of life, as only mothers know, every season or kairos is perfect and tailor made

for us and for those around us. Every season offers us an opportunity to grow in love. And if the form it

takes is that of the cross let us not lose courage. Nobody understands the cross better than she does, and

no one better than she can make it become the most precious kairos of all, where 'there is no greater

love'.

IX. (Continuation of Strenna 2017) EVERY HOME A SCHOOL OF LIFE AND OF LOVE.

OUR EDUCATIONAL—PASTORAL CONTRIBUTION

The family, choice of the incarnate God

“God chose a mother in order to become man and a family in order to grow and mature as such.

This is a truth of faith that a Christian cannot ignore when he wants to reflect on the family.” This is how

the article I want to refer to begins. In fact, belief in the incarnation of God is a distinctive element of the

Christian faith, as the Catechism of the Catholic Church affirms. Certainly, if the reason for our salvation

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was God’s love for us, then the incarnation was the way of bringing it about. But in this fact there is

something else that really draws our attention. The decision of God to assume in the Son the human con-

dition leads to two very significant facts: that of being born of a woman, becoming the son of the Virgin

Mary, and that of being born into a family, that is to say, the fact of having sought a family in which to be

born and grow as a human being.

One thing that we know very well and that deeply moves us is the fact that to become a son God

himself told his parents about his birth and convinced them to give their consent – to say yes.

Mary is full of grace before being mother; the son has already been thought about by God before

being wished for by the mother. Mary does not ask for a sign in order to believe. God proposes a plan to

her; she does not feel capable of this plan. The virgin will conceive a son who is not the fruit of a previ-

ous married life (Luke 1:35).

As far as Joseph is concerned, and different from what happened to Mary, God reveals his plan

not in a conversation (Luke 1:28), but in a dream (Matt 1:18,24). Joseph “dreams” what God wants of

him after the shock he experiences at the forced entry of God into his marriage: that which is conceived

in Mary is the work of the Spirit (Matt 1:18,20). And God, who “has usurped” his paternity without his

knowing about it and without his consent, now asks him to accept the fait accompli.

Both Mary and Joseph, although in different ways since their responsibilities and roles within the

family were different, had to pay a price for being the family of God during the infancy and boyhood of

Jesus as well as during his public ministry, following a path that was not without its many difficulties.

This experience makes the family of Nazareth and the families of yesterday, today, and all times closer

together.

X. APPLICATION TO THE SALESIAN FAMILY

-- Empathy as the f irst human response.

Precisely in these contexts, what is expected from us is the ability to empathize in the face of pain

and weakness. Such empathy is very much connected to something characteristically our own: the fami-

ly spirit.

CLICK TO HYPERLINK FOR VIDEO:

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XI. MOVING FORWARD, INCLUDING HOMEWORK

The salvific will of God, that is the fact that God wanted to save us, “obliged” him to make himself

like us. Once he became human, he wanted to learn how to be like us, learning to grow up as a human

being within the bosom of a family, “the cradle of life and of love in which a person is born and

grows.”[14]

We can say with certainty that it was a family that “humanized the Son of God,” and this undenia-

ble fact gives to the family an exceptional sacred value.

Seeds ... to be opened

I will try to take seriously the invitation of Pope Francis not to fall into the trap of wearing myself

out moaning in my defence when confronted with contradictions and problems. It is possible to call the

difficulties by name, and together they release in us the energy of the hope of translating them into pro-

phetic dreams, and imaginative acts of charity just as he himself is doing in leading the Church.

We are at the time of year when we remember our dead with all the saints. I will try to re-read

with the eyes of mercy and praise the story of my family, and revisit my family tree: the roots of the past

as far as I can go, and also the ramifications of this in my relationships in the present. All this is sacred

history, as is the story of every person.

With gratitude I will retrace the Marian devotions that accompanied the seasons of my life. This

could result in an amazing discovery of how Mary was the hand of Providence at every 'kairos' I have

ever experienced. And if I look forward, her presence will undoubtedly become an invitation to liberate

the energies of hope in us.

XII. CONCLUDING PRAYER:

“Let us make this journey as families, let us keep walking together. What we have been promised is greater than we can imagine. May we never lose heart be-

cause of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us.” – Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 325.

PRAYER TO THE HOLY FAMILY FROM AMORIS LAETITIA

Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

in you we contemplate

the splendor of true love;

to you we turn with trust.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

grant that our families too

may be places of communion and prayer,

authentic schools of the Gospel

and small domestic churches.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

may families never again experience

violence, rejection and division;

may all who have been hurt or scandalized

find ready comfort and healing.

Holy Family of Nazareth,

make us once more mindful

of the sacredness and inviolability of the family,

and its beauty in God’s plan.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

graciously hear our prayer.

Amen.

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Materials necessary:

Laptop, LCD Projector, and Internet

Handouts: Reflection Booklets or Photocopies of Readings/Reflection Questions

Folders, pens, and a holy card with the Prayer to the Holy Family

Copies of We Are Family and Amoris Laetitia (also available on Don Bosco Salesian Portal in multiple

languages)