sec 4e5n preliminary examinations - english language paper 1, section 2 (marker’s comments)

Sec 4E5N Preliminary Examinations - English LanguagePaper 1, Section 2 (Marker’s Comments)

SPCA stands forSPCA stands for

Society for the Prevention of

Cruelty to Animals


General General Comments on Comments on the following the following

areas:areas:


FORMATFORMAT


Problem 1: Format of a Formal Letter

Many of you are still not familiar with the format of a formal letter.


Problem 1: (con’t)Block 120 Bedok North Road Avenue 1#02-1234Singapore 670120

14 August 2009

The Editor Forum PageThe Straits TimesNews Centre1000 Toa Payoh NorthSingapore 318994

Dear SirPreventing the abandonment of pets

•Spell out all words in full, e.g. S’pore, Blk, St, Rd, Ave

• Write date in formal style

• Upper case for names of road and place, e.g. Bedok North Avenue

• Make sure title of letter is a summary statement of the whole letter

• underline the title to make it clear


Problem 1: Format of a Formal Letter

Closure:

Yours sincerely – if you address by name, e.g. Dear Mr Lim

Yours faithfully – if you address as Dear Sir


WritingWriting


Problem 2: Shopping List Syndrome

Many lump many ideas together in one paragraph without expanding on each one, elaborating on them or explaining what you are talking about.

Worse many also string a few ideas together without linking them properly poor transition.


Problem 3: Use of examples

Many cite examples without linking the example to a point. An example must be an illustration of a point; it cannot be considered a point by itself.

-ve example:

Potential pet-owners should be made to post a bond before they are allowed to buy a pet. (This is an example of a stand alone example. It is not linked to a point and there is no explanation as to what is the point that it serves to illustrate.)


Problem 3: (con’t)

+ve example: We should enact a set of more stringent criteria to reduce the potential number of careless pet-owners. For instance, potential pet-owners should be made to post a bond before they are allowed to buy a pet. This will go some way towards ensuring that those who own pets have the financial ability to take care of their pets.


Problem 4: Use of contractions

• Avoid the use of contractions,

e.g. can’t, won’t, it’s – this is informal writing and should not be used in formal writing.

• Many do not know the difference between “it’s” and “its”!!!

Hence, if you avoid using contractions, you will only need to remember when to use “its”.


Problem 5: Avoid use of flowery / language in formal writing

E.g.: …my hearts bleeds for the poor suffering animals.

E.g.: Happy ones bring them home grinning from ear to ear.


Problem 6: Choose words carefully

Choice of words depends on the audience

E.g. Pets are living organisms…

E.g. Whenever pets are abandoned, they face an egregious time because….



Silly or Funny sentences /phrases (Beware of clever-sounding phrases that may not be applicable to the context of the Question!)• “We sometimes have to put ourselves in their shoes” (referring to pets)• “There are dogs being abandoned and wandering the streets aimlessly.”• “Measures to take care of such abandoned pet animals should include providing them homes at pet stores…..”



Silly or Funny sentences /phrases

• “Lastly, for the measure to care for abandoned dogs, as mentioned above, the owner would have to pay for the food and medical bills of the dog until it passes on or till a new owner adopts it.”

• “…..so that animal lovers in Singapore know that there is someone still caring about the animals.”


Problem 6: (con’t)Silly or Funny sentences /phrases• “…..the owner has to look after it till the day it passes away or if the dog has contracted a disease.”• “Such terms and conditions could include no abandonment without valid reasons.”• “Dogs are, just like us, animals.”• “….for pets to be able to find a suitable owner for themselves.”



Silly or Funny sentences /phrases

• “But when the owner is sad, it will stay by the owner and try to console him.”


Problem 7: Repetition of wordsAvoid repetition of words in the same sentence, or used in the same context over the course of the essay.E.g. The people should do this….the people should do that…..Problem 8: Use of SinglishBe more conscious of Singlish creeping in. E.g.: Pet-owners got (have) to be….E.g.: They never go to….


PresentationPresentation


Problem 9: Poor use of ParagraphsMost addressed each required point of the Qn in ONE paragraph!Our students seem to think that there is an allocated number of paragraphs that they are allowed to use, i.e. if the Qn ask me to address 3 points, then my answer must be in 3 paragraphs! This is silly!Do not lump all your ideas into 1 paragraph with no logical linkage between each new idea.


Problem 9: (con’t) Better to put down 1 idea per in 1 paragraph. Then elaborate / explain that idea within that paragraph, giving examples!

It is perfectly all right (in fact better) to answer the required points of the Qn in a number of paragraphs if you have more than one idea to answer that point.


Problem 10: Illegible handwriting (HW)

• Scribbles and scrawls in a barely legible handwriting . Guys, it is not cool for a 16 – 17 year old to be scrawling like a 5 years old kid! Illegible handwriting is penalised under spelling!

• Tiny microscopic font.

• Faint ink pen

Common sense: Why make it difficult and frustrating for the Cambridge marker to grade your work?


Problem 11: Not writing name in FULL

Many are still writing short forms of their names on their examination scripts.

You must write your FULL NAME on every sheet of paper that you submit.


General General comments comments

on the on the Question:Question:


Points to note:•Many students are not familiar with writing to the Forum Page.• You address the letter to the Editor, but you are not supposed to make demands of him.• It is not the same as writing to the relevant agency directly, e.g. to the Ministry of Education or the Town Council.• Comment on issues / make suggestions but without referring to the Editor, e.g. “I hope that you will consider taking up my suggestions.


Points to note:• in trying to fulfill the requirements of the points given in the Question, use the following formula:- Explain (or define) the key phrase, e.g. “terms and conditions”, “fair treatment”- give one or more specific example of what would be a term / condition or what is fair treatment.- explain why you think these measures are important and necessary.- what you think / hope the positive impact(s) be upon implementation


What is expected of you:

1. Terms and conditions for the purchase or adoption of pets

• what is expected of someone before he is allowed to adopt or buy a pet.

• what are some pre-requisites that he has to meet before being allowed to do so.


What is expected of you:Terms and conditions for the purchase or adoption of petsExample: There is a need impose strict terms and conditions on the purchase and adoption of pets. Firstly, potential pet-owners have to be subjected to a background check to prove that they have never been convicted of animal abuse previously. This means that a person who has been found guilty of animal abuse previously will never be allowed to own a pet again. This measure will definitely serve to reduce the number of animals that are subjected to inhumane treatment.



2. Fair treatment towards dogs with respect to animal rights.

• many just say animals must be treated fairly in accordance to animal rights, but do not elaborate any more.

• nor do they specify what constitutes fair treatment or what constitutes unfair treatment.


• Specify at least 2 measures of fair treatment and explain why you think these 2 measures are important and necessary for the well-being of pets.

• also explain how these 2 measures can be enforce.


Example: It is important for society to enforce the rights that I believe animals enjoy. One area of concern is their living conditions. No pets should be allowed to be kept conditions that are less than what is the basic requirements for that species. For example, I firmly believe that animals from non-tropical climate should not be allowed to be kept as household pets in Singapore. Take the husky for example. A dog breed that has its origins in the polar region, this breed is becoming increasingly popular amongst wealthy Singaporeans. I feel that allowing an animal that needs polar conditions to live in Singapore clearly amounts to cruelty. The relevant agency that grants pet licenses should stop granting licenses for the import of animal species that are not native to the tropics. This is one way in which we can ensure that animals that are kept as pets are as comfortable as possible in captivity.



3. Measures to care for dogs that have been abandoned• make specific suggestions for measures that can be implemented to care for abandoned animals• elaborate on how this can be implemented and what the outcome will be.• try to come up with novel / innovative ideas. Probably 90% of candidates wrote “call SPCA”!

sec 4e5n preliminary examinations - english language paper 1, section 2 (marker’s comments)

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