same circus different clowns

8/9/2019 Same Circus Different Clowns

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/same-circus-different-clowns 1/56

Same

CircusDifferent

Clowns“The Humpback Creeper”by Steven D. Donnini

Library Of Congress

WGA

Copyright Steven Donnini

June 1, 1956, our trucks rolled into Jesup,

1



Georgia. We were working the small towns up and

down the east coast. This would be a black fair

with special attractions. I was riding shotgun

with Jimmy a 16 year old black kid in the lead

truck just behind my granddad’s shinning silver

Airstream trailer. Our nine tractor-trailers were

all in line. They were painted black with Bright

Light Shows in gold letters across the sides. All

those black and gold trucks coming down the main

street of town was a thrilling sight. It was

exciting, the broad smiles and hands waving as the

street came alive with people, a welcome just for

me. At 13 years old, I didn’t understand what the

fair meant to these people.

Later, I came to realize that the three days we

were in town would be permanently imbedded in the

lives of everyone. I was about to change in ways

that are never part of the myth of running off to

join the circus.

2



Standing in the middle of the street directing

traffic to the fairgrounds was Ace Bailey the

advance man. The field where we were to set up the

tents for the midway was in the center of town.

Ace was the best at dealing with the problems

created by local fire codes and politicians. He

would simply pay them off. If that didn’t work we

would setup and disregard the codes. After all we

were only going to be there for three days. By the

time they figured out what we were doing wrong, it

was too late.

Everybody called my grandfather Danny, including

me. At first thought it was strange but I wanted

to fit in and not draw attention to myself. The

truth is, I was privileged in every way. Although

Danny owned the Bright Light Shows, Bingo, and

midway tents, the rides and other attractions were

contracted for available fair dates. So, of 19

3



fair dates we did from Palm Beach to Maine each one

was a little different.

My father and mother agreed to let me go on this

summer vacation with Danny. A trip the year before

to a fundamentalist Jesus Christ boot camp ended in

disaster. They thought I was in good hands with

Danny. Grandpa Danny and grandma Edna were

separated shortly after my dad was born. Dad was

abandoned by his mother Edna at about 2 months old,

she went off to be a “Flapper” and Danny was a

working card dealer in New York and New Jersey

speakeasies.

When he discovered she had left Dad with relatives,

he went and got him. They traveled together from

NY to Miami Beach until Dad went to New England and

College at Brown University in Providence. The

family story goes that Danny won the Bright Light

Shows in a poker game in 1948. Quickly Danny

4



became well known for creating some of the best

“Flat Stores” in the country. A flat store is a

game of chance in which the object of the game is

to take all the player’s money in the shortest

amount of time. The flat store “Flat takes your

money.” You can’t win and you don’t get a Teddy

Bear to take home. The back end of the game is as

important as any other part. The mark (player)

must never know he has been swindled. He is chosen

from those available to play. Most flat stores

have a look out, banker, shill (decoy), and store

manager. Three Card Monty, is a flat store that is

played commonly on city streets in NY. The most

profitable games on the midway of the fairgrounds

are flat stores.

Danny called his flat store “The Humpback Creeper.”

Over the years, the Bright Light Show had many

colorful shows including one called “Monty the

Boxing Chimp.” He would climb up on you and kiss

5



you on the lips at the first meeting. At just 45

lb. he was powerful and I never felt quite

comfortable around him. During off hours he would

walk around with Jill his owner and trainer. He

would be playful and jump up, wrapping his long

arms and legs around her. On fair days she would

put him in his 10 ft. x 10 ft. x 10 ft. steel cage

on the midway and stand out front working the crowd

as they passed by. Monty was dressed in football

helmet and boxing gloves. Jill would talk to

everyone that came down the midway looking for a

mark. She would pick out the biggest, tough guy on

the midway. The idea was to get this guy to put up

$20, to stay in the cage with Monty for 10 seconds

without calling for help or asking to get out. If

he could last that long he would walk away with

$100. She would taunt him unmercifully until he

agreed. He too was outfitted with boxing gloves

and a football helmet. Jill showed him to the door

and closed it. This action triggered the clock

6



over the door. When the guy stepped into center of

the cage, Monty climbed over the top of the like an

acrobat landing on the guys shoulders from behind.

With a sweeping motion Monty had one arm wrapped

tightly around the guys neck, he removed the helmet

in his other hand, holding it by the face guard, he

proceeded to beat the intruder in the face and ears

with it. Within 3 seconds or so the tough guy was

begging to get out.

Monty wasn’t finished, he started laughing wildly

and got in a few more good wacks to the nose while

the man screamed to let him out. Meanwhile the

man’s friends were laughing in the middle of the

midway at the beating he was getting at the hands

of a chimp.

Every once in a while, things would get out of

control and Monty wouldn’t stop when Jill

commanded. I guess Monty thought it was a game and

7



was in the mood to entertain the crowd.

One night, this big redneck got in with Monty and

he didn’t want to loose. So, he tried to fight

back. Monty hung on his neck as the guy spun

around trying to grab a hold of him. The faster

they spun the louder Monty laughed. By the time

the guy managed to get out he was humiliated and

bloody. When he regained his composure he forced

his friends to suffer the same fate. Jill played

them perfectly. She cleaned them out.

Jimmy was the first truck driver I had ever seen,

so he must have been the best. He was tall, thin

and handsome. That’s what he told the girls. He

stayed away from the white girls, but they loved

him. He told me that he had never gone to school

past the 6th grade. At 16 he didn’t see the point

of getting an education. His Momma had taught him

to read well enough to get by. He loved traveling

8



with the show and Danny trusted him with the rigs.

In return he was fiercely loyal.

Jimmy backed the tractor trailer into a spot Ace

picked out on the fairgrounds. Within 2 hours we

had the Bingo tent up. It was the center spot in

the midway. Every other store went up on either

side and across creating a narrow alley arcade.

The rest of the crew worked into the night. Danny

sent word to me to come to the trailer for dinner.

When I arrived at the Airstream trailer Danny’s pet

Macaw started in on me. He said, “Where the hell

have you been Red?” I wanted to answer, but I

thought it was weird explaining anything to a bird

and I was embarrassed about my red hair. He was so

convincing that if I wasn’t thinking I would

automatically come up with an excuse and answer.

As I entered the screen door he ordered me “Shut

the damn door.” No one paid much attention to what

9



the crazy Macaw had to say, but me. I took it to

heart.

Danny’s wife, Claudia greeted me with her usual

sunny face. Although she wasn’t my real

grandmother she treated me like she was. She had a

fiery wit. A true carnie at heart, she fit in with

the show people. Danny didn’t. He was too well

dressed and mannered. He looked like he was on his

way to the polo grounds in Palm Beach. In fact, he

would take me there whenever we would visit him at

the winter home in Florida. Claudia on the other

hand was more at home in one of the local taverns

with a beer, a shot of Crown Royal, her friends and

a fresh pack of Pall Mall. She could tell a dirty

joke with flair and often did, but never around

Danny. She knew he wouldn’t approve.

At dinner Danny gave me lessons on how to do

business on the midway. This time he wanted me to

10



work “The Humpback Creeper.” He said, “It’s time

for you to get your feet wet. I want you to work

the Creeper this week. It’s simple, but there are

some things you need to know. I’ll put Jimmy and

Paul with you. It won’t take more than the three

of you guys to run it. Jimmy will be your partner

and shill. Paul is the banker. Just take the lead

from Jimmy, he’ll show you what you need to do and

when to do it. He has the most experience with the

game.” I was so scared that I couldn’t eat. I

tried to swallow, but the food stuck in my throat.

Now, I know why he picked me.

I hadn’t lost my innocents yet and it must have

shown big time. I’ve never had a very good poker

face. People on the midway would never consider me

to be a cheat. The others knew why he picked me to

work the Creeper, but I had no clue. I guess that

was the idea. That night I slept in the bingo tent

with the other kids. We were all so tired there

was very little small talk.

11



In the morning, we got to work early. Jimmy and I

had breakfast together. He told me it was very

important for me to learn the business. “What

you’ll learn here isn’t taught in any Harvard

business school. It’s like basketball you either

got a feel for it or you don’t.” We walked down

the midway to the Creeper. He was doing his best

to explain how to spot a mark. I didn’t know what

he was talking about, but I acted like I

understood. We approached the Creeper and he

reached across the counter and lifted out a blue

velvet bag. Out came the Creeper, he placed it on

the glass top, which was painted with colorful

numbers. The heavy brass Creeper was shaped like a

beetle and seemed to glide effortlessly across the

glass. The surface was so smooth that just a

slight push would send it across the surface and

bouncing off the rubber bumper that was around the

top.

12



It would travel across the top over and over before

it would come to rest on one of the numbers.

Clearly, the idea of the game was to pick the

correct color and number.

Jimmy set me behind the game and adjusted the

swivel chair for my feet to touch the control

peddles. I practiced while Jimmy talked about how

he would communicate with me without giving away

the fact that we were working together. “It’s

important that you know when to let the mark win.

I’ll touch my right finger to my nose, like this.

When he should loose I’ll scratch my head. Got it?”

The hard part was learning how to stop the Creeper

on the winning number without everyone seeing it

stop too fast and how to keep it moving past the

winning number. If we let them win, it wouldn’t

matter how fast it stopped. On the other hand if I

13



had to speed it up to keep them from winning, they

would suspect we were cheating and that can’t

happen. He told me to let them win if I couldn’t

make it look natural.

As the sun went down, the show opened and the

midway lights came on. The midway alley slowly

filled with people. Couples out on a date, Moms

and Dads with their kids. I had never seen so many

black people in one place before. For the first

time I felt what it must be like to be black in a

white crowd. But, because Jimmy was there I felt

like I fit in.

When Paul showed we were ready for action. Jimmy

looked at me and smiled. It was the signal that he

had found a mark and it was time to go to work. I

greeted the mark and explained the rules of the

game. “ Step right up and pick a number.

Everybody’s a winner. $5 minimum per number,

14



double your money with every winning number. Step

right up and pick a winner.” The mark was cool.

His diamond ring was a thing to behold. It was at

least 2 Ct. His gold tooth shined. Jimmy knew he

was a gambler. He put his finger to his nose and

“peeked the poke”(looked into his wallet to see how

much money he was carrying) as the guy was looking

at his money thinking about how much to bet. He

was flush with cash. He said, “$300 on blue 6.” I

spun the Creeper. I knew then I had pushed it too

hard. It slid around the top for what felt like

forever. As it slowed, I tried to control it with

the powerful magnets under the glass by moving the

foot peddles around.

I was sure he was going to catch me. Jimmy looked

at me as if he could read my mind. He didn’t want

Paul to know I wasn’t trained well enough. The

Creeper was responding to the magnets. As it

floated over the numbers it would change direction

15



slightly and bounce off the rubber bumper on the

side and back across the numbers. Getting the

Creeper to stop on the Blue 6 was harder than

making it miss.

This big man with the gold tooth, made his money

selling funeral and burial insurance to poor folks.

They bought his insurance because they wanted to

leave this world in style. For $5 a month, they

were going to get a ride in a Cadillac limo, a

bronze colored casket, live music and fresh

flowers. The Creeper came closer to blue 6 and I

pulled it up like parking a car. The Insurance

salesman was excited but held it in. I didn’t

notice but Jimmy did. Jimmy smiled at me again. I

said, “Pick your number.” The mark laughed and

pointed to black 9. He put $1,000 in 20’s on the

table. Jimmy scratched his head. I spun the

creeper. This time I didn't push too hard and it

glided smoothly across the glass. Paul said, “Come

16



on Black 9!” Then he looked at me and smiled. The

Creeper was headed directly for Black 9. My feet

were the magnetic breaks. It slowed down faster

than I wanted. My foot slipped off the control

peddle, the Creeper went right by black 9 and

stopped abruptly. The mark was stunned.

I looked him in the eye. He looked at me for a few

seconds then down at the Creeper, then back at me.

I remembered Jimmy’s first instructions look people

in the eye and don't look away until they do, or

you'll get caught. He starts to turn to walk away

and Paul stops him. “Hey buddy, I've got $100

bucks that says you're on a streak. That one was

so close. You pick one number for me.” The mark

turned confused, but flattered that someone thought

he was a good bet. Paul put the money down.

Jimmy said he wanted some of the action and put

another $100 on the table. I said, “Pick a

17



number.” The mark opened his wallet and took out

$500 and looked at Paul with renewed confidence.

He said, “Green 8.” I spun the Creeper.

This time I gave it a good push because I wanted

plenty of time to get control of it's speed and

direction. It crossed the top several times before

I could see any response to the magnets. As it

slowed down I got more control and was able to

articulate the moves. Jimmy was watching every

move.

He knew I was on thin ice. Because the stakes were

so high Paul was nervous, shifting his weight from

one foot to the other. I wanted to let the Creeper

take it's own path, but was hard not to interfere

with it's path. It slowed and stopped inches from

Green 8. The Mark said, “Ah!” then he turned and

walked away from us down the midway. I was

surprised at the ease with which we took the guy's

18



money.

The rest of the night, we worked one mark after

another. We made $5,200 that night. I went to

Danny's trailer for a late dinner. He was sitting

on the couch counting money. Claudia was cooking

in the kitchen. He asked, “What do you think of

the Creeper?” I was happy that he had trusted me

enough to let me work a game. I said, it was a lot

of fun. He returned to stacking the money in piles

of 50's, 20's and so on. The next day, I felt like

a pro. Jimmy, Paul and I were clicking. Then we

hit a snag.

The local sheriff had a brother that was a gambler.

We didn't know who he was when we took all his

money. He lost $1,500 in an hour. Later that

night, the Sheriff paid us a visit. When he walked

up to Danny's trailer I was inside, but I could

hear the conversation through the open window in

19



the trailer. Danny was unflappable. He was

sitting in a folding lawn chair smoking a Camel

cigarette. They exchanged greetings. The Sheriff

asked if we knew the show could be shut down and

sent out of town. Danny answered politely that he

didn't. The Sheriff pressed on, “As I understand

it you run a game called Humpback Creeper. Shut it

down and give my brother his $1,500 back or I'll

run you out of town.” Danny fired back, “If your

brother lost money, it was because he was looking

for action. If you come to a game and loose then

you pay the price. On the other hand I don't want

you to go away mad. He takes a roll of big bills

from his pocket and slowly counts off $1,500 in

twenties. He said, “I think the police need all

the help they can get.” He hands the money to the

Sheriff. Danny continues, “Please accept this as a

gift for the policeman's welfare fund.” The

Sheriff folded the money and put it in his pocket.

“You’re very generous. Billy is a little hot

20



headed. I'll have a talk with him.” They shook

hands and the Sheriff went on his way.

Sunday was the big day on the midway. The most

popular attraction was Monty the boxing chimp.

Jill was at her best. She was hot into it. A big

peanut farmer came up watching everything Monty did

and laughing at the faces the chimp made. She

noticed that he was with his two brothers. They

all looked and acted alike. So she did her thing.

“You boys look tough enough to stay in the cage

with Monty for 10 seconds. How about it? I'll

give you $100 if you can do it. Just $20 bucks

boys, will get you 100 green backs. Who's first?”

The biggest brother stepped up. “I'll do it. But,

I hate to take your money lady.” She took his

twenty, handed him the football helmet and helped

him with the boxing gloves.

A crowd was forming as he turned to smile at the

21



brothers who were laughing at the way he looked.

She opened the cage door, set the timing clock over

the door and pushed him in. When the door shut

Monty was all over the guy and was pounding him

with the football helmet. The guy’s nose was so

bloody it was streaming all over his clean white

shirt. The clock read 7 seconds when he started to

screamed “Help!” The crowd was in an uproar and

the brothers were on the ground rolling with

laughter. She commanded Monty to stop and opened

the cage door. Monty looked disappointed. He

loved to beat up on those guys. One after another,

the brothers were beaten into humiliation. Jill

was counting the money as the brothers walked away.

That night, I went to the canteen for dinner. I

wanted to be part of the crew and talk to the

dancers that worked the Divine Dancers Show. They

had a special trailer, it was constructed so the

side would swing down and made a stage. It was

22



self-contained and included lighting, dance stage

and sound system. The girls were all great

dancers. At least I thought so.

When I walked into the canteen tent Suzy was

sitting alone so, I sat down next to her. She was

the daughter of the hermaphrodite in the sideshow.

At 15 she was the best looking girl in the show. I

asked what her mother's show was like. “We have

four sheer veils at the entrance to the tent. The

first one cost 50 cents to look through. But, you

can't see much. The second is a little closer and

costs $1 and you still can't see much. The third,

cost $2.50 and you can see Della spread eagle on

the pillows, but it's still a little fuzzy. The

fourth veil is in front of her, two feet away. You

can clearly see it all. For $20 you can come in

and touch her. Pass the gravy!” Suzy look up and

smiled. I knew we would become friends. She

worked with her mother in another sideshow where

23



Suzy climbed into a box and her mother would stick

swords in it. Inside she would move her arms and

legs to avoid getting cut. She was a true

contortionist. She told me that her mother wore a

dildo in the show. She said, “It fools everyone.

They want to believe they are seeing a true

hermaphrodite.” She was wise beyond her years, but

warm. She didn't seem to worry about the things I

did.

We went for a walk in town after dinner. We

stopped at the Dairy Freeze for a shake and sat at

the tables in front. Out of the darkness a car

full of teenagers pulled in with their lights

shinning in our eyes. As they got out, it was

clear they were drinking beer. I sensed they were

going to give us some trouble. I didn't look at

them as they got out of the car. The driver walked

by the table and said, “Ha, Babe.” Suzy answered,

“Looks like you can't handle your booze.” He

24



walked to the table. “Handle this!” He grabbed

his crotch. He looked at me and said, “What's

wrong with you?” I couldn’t think of anything

clever to say. Then he hit me in the head from

behind. The next thing I remember, we were on the

sidewalk and I had him around the neck. Thank God

he was drunk, I don't think I could have kept him

down. The others just watched. Suzy jumped in and

pulled us apart. She was surprisingly strong. The

kid was still choking when we walked back toward

the fairgrounds. My legs and hands were shaking.

Suzy felt responsible for starting the whole thing,

but I let her off the hook. In my heart I knew

that if she hadn't said anything the guy would have

gone on. It turned into a manhood deal and he

couldn't walk away. Why the others in the car

didn't beat me up I'll never know.

The next morning, the father of the kid came to

talk to Danny looking for the hoodlum that had

25



broken a bone in his son’s neck. The kid was in

the hospital with a lot of pain. Danny was livid.

He called me to the trailer. It was a very

unpleasant experience. The father called me every

name you can think of and demanded that I pay the

hospital bill. I asked Danny to take it out of my

pay and told him what happened, the “Indian choke

hold” part made him smile a little, so I knew

things were OK. I didn't want him to send me home.

He agreed to pay the hospital bills, but I was to

pay him back. He never took any money out of my

pay. Suzy told me everyone on the crew talked

about what a tough kid I was. I got a little

respect and a lot of kidding from Jimmy. He asked

what it felt like to be the only kid to ever win a

fight with a local football player. I was

embarrassed to say that I didn't really fight. I

just got my arms around his neck and wouldn't let

go.

26



with a shining new toaster and stuffed bear. She

was so happy to have won that he didn't have to

tell her in front of us how much he had lost. They

walked away happy. Jimmy came over to me and spoke

out of the side of his mouth. “It's all about the

action and saving face. Don't forget that kid.” I

couldn't quite grasp what he meant, but I couldn't

forget the intense way he told me.

It was like a deep dark secret I was being told,

because it was in my blood. He was awakening me to

something, a truth about life.

The next guy that came to play was a nasty SOB and

I loved watching him loose. Jimmy took uncommon

pleasure working this guy over. It was like

watching a lion in one of those National Wildlife

TV shows. He was mean and ill mannered. At one

point he reached over the top of the game, grabbed

28



me by the shirt pulled me half way out of the both

before Jimmy and Paul saved me. We had taken his

rent money. It was sickening to me that he would

gamble away his rent money. At the same time I

felt guilty. He stomped off “You cheated me. I'll

be back.” I knew he meant it, so did Jimmy.

We were about to shut down for the night when Jimmy

saw the guy coming through the crowded midway with

6 of the roughest looking men I've seen. Jimmy

turned to me and yelled out “Run!” So I jumped out

of the Creeper and took off running through the

crowd. My heart was pounding. I was thinking,

it's like a football play but the guys are a lot

bigger that I’m used to playing with. There was

another difference. They weren’t playing ball.

That made me run faster. I ran across the midway

to take shelter in the Bingo tent. Once inside I

looked back to see where they were. One of them

spotted me and yelled out to the others. The

29



tables made a good barrier between us, but there

were too many of them. They surrounded me and it

was all over but the beating I got. He swung at me

and hit a tent pole. I heard a crunch when his

fist hit it. Another guy hit me from behind,

grabbed my arms and held on to me. They started to

beat on me. After the first two or three punches I

couldn't feel a thing. It's the way wild prey feel

before they are eaten.

Jake the Giant came to my rescue. Jake was the

biggest man I've ever seen. He stood 7.8 ft. tall

and was a mass of muscle. His arms were as big

around as grown man’s leg. He picked up one of the

guys over his head and through him over two Bingo

tables. The other guys moved back. The next thing

I remember was being carried to Danny's trailer in

Jake's arms. I had never seen Danny get really mad

before. He asked Jake what happened. He told Jake

to bring Jimmy to the trailer. That gentle giant

30



stayed with me the rest of the night sitting at the

bedside. I slept hard that night knowing he was

watching over me.

The next morning, I couldn't move without pain

somewhere in my body. My left eye was swollen and

my lip was split. I knew I was out of the Creeper

business for a few days. The innocence that was

once on my face was gone, at least for the time

being. Danny had a sit down meeting with Jimmy

that lasted for 30 minutes. When it was over Jimmy

came out to tell everyone to watch out for the guys

that had attacked me. Our departure was set for

Monday morning about 5:00 AM. There wasn't much

chance of those guys coming back for more action.

But, I wanted to get even somehow.

I stopped to see Jimmy at the Creeper and to ask

what he would do in the way of revenge. He wasn't

busy so we talked a while. He offered, “the dudes

31



are easy to get even with, because when they come

across the unexpected, they can't handle it. I've

got the perfect plan. Meet me at the Canteen at

9:00.” I thought this guy better have a great

idea. I didn't want another beating. When I

showed up at the canteen Jimmy was waiting. He was

excited and eager to get going. As we walked into

town, Suzy called from behind me. I didn't want

her to get hurt if we got into a fight. But she

insisted on coming. I had a feeling she could

handle herself.

We walked up to the door of the Pelican Bar and

Jimmy stopped to give us instructions. He said,

“Just go along with what I do no matter what and

stay cool.” He opened the old screen door and

walked in as the door slammed loudly behind us.

The people at the bar were all drunk. I looked

around to see that the guy we were after wasn't

there. We sat at the bar and ordered drinks. The

32



bartender starred at Suzy and me for the longest

time then said, “I don't serve no minors.” Jimmy

chimed in, “How about serving Coke?”

The bartender studied Jimmy for a moment then

turned around and pulled a couple Coke’s from a

cooler. Jimmy asked, “Is Judd around?” I turned

to see him come out of the men’s room. My heart

was pounding as he walked straight for me. With

every step he took he got hotter. Jimmy turned,

“Hey, man let it go. The kid wants to say he's

sorry. In fact, he would like to buy you a drink.”

Judd answered, “I want my money back.” Jimmy

explained, “You lost it man. What are you

drinking?” He answered, “A beer and a bump.” He

was staring at me so he didn't see Jimmy putting

liquid from an eye dropper in his shot glass.

Jimmy picked up the glass and offered it to him.

Judd took the shot and knocked it back.

Jimmy became more aggressive. Talking to the other

people in the bar he said, “Doesn’t look like this

33



dumb farm boy is smart enough to know when he's

been beaten.” Judd threw the shot glass on the

floor. He pushed back a table that was behind him

knocking the people sitting there out of their

seats. Jimmy smiled and said, “I’ll beat $100 that

you'll mess your pants the first time I hit you.”

Everyone in the bar wanted to bet on the fight.

Suzy went down the bar taking beats and collecting

money. Jimmy got off the bar stool and put up his

fists in a classic boxer stance. I thought this

guy is going to get his butt kicked worse than I

did. Judd took the first swing at Jimmy and

missed, followed by another. Jimmy was fast, but

the next swing caught him on the top of the head

and he fell back on the floor. I didn't think he

was going to get up. As he struggled to his feet

the small brown glass bottle with an eyedropper in

it fell to the floor and rolled toward me. I

reached down and picked it up.

34



The label read, Bett's Veterinary Supplies- 2 drops

per gallon- for constipation. I looked up to see

Jimmy get hit again. His nose was bleeding. I

could see that he was trying to stay away from Judd

for as long as possible. Now, Judd was showing off

to everyone. He was fast, strong and as tall as a

Georgia pine. To everyone's surprise Judd stopped

his knock out punch in midair and let out a giant

fart that all could here clearly. The room fell

silent as all eyes turned to his stunned face.

Judd said, “Oh!”

Jimmy knew this was his best chance, so he hit him

square in the belly as hard as possible.

It was hard enough to cause Judd to pause. Then

there was mixture of strange sounds, but Judd never

made it to the toilet. There was a resulting

gastrointestinal explosion that came with every

step toward the Men’s room. Suzy counted the money

and paid the bar tab. I told Jimmy I would never

forget the expression on Judd’s face when he

35



farted. Jimmy said, “I was getting worried. It

took a lot longer than I thought for the horse

laxative to work. He's finished around here.

People will talk about this forever. They will

tell the story of how a skinny guy hit Judd so hard

he messed his pants.”

We walked back to the fairgrounds. On the way I

thought about what happened. I was becoming

addicted to the feeling of excitement. Even

craving it. It wasn't clear if I could control my

feelings or my need for it.

The next morning, we packed up the tents. After

breakfast we got in the trucks and drove off toward

our next date, Shelby, South Carolina.

We hoped to be there by Night fall but the weather

had turned bad and the forecast was for

thunderstorms for the rest of the week, which was

to be expected at this time of the year.

Naturally, we were all thinking that the fair could

36



be a wash out. Danny wasn't bothered by it. He

couldn't cancel it anyway. Not this close to the

date. The rain was like nothing I had ever seen

before. We were crawling along at 25 mph on a

mountain road when Jimmy hit the brakes too hard

and the back end of the trailer jackknifed across

the highway. When we came to rest, the trailer was

loose and turned over on it's side in the slippery

red clay that had washed down from the hillside

onto the road. Danny stopped and came back to see

us sitting in the cab. Jimmy's hands were glued to

the steering wheel. His head stuck in place.

The entire day was spent walking, crawling and

digging in the red mud. We got the trailer hooked

up and made the trip to Shelby in just over 5

hours.

The next day, we all went to Danny's Bingo tent for

a meeting. All the concessionaires were worried

about the weather. The forecast was for rain

37



through the weekend. During the meeting “Sparky,”

Danny's dog came out from under the counter where

we kept gifts for the winners. He had a nasty

habit of sniffing the people he encountered.

Everyone always says that dogs have a great sense

of smell. If that’s true, why do they walk up to

another dogs butt put their nose in it and sniff?

Why can't they smell if from a distance if they can

smell so well?

That day Sparky was in a sniffing mood, because he

walked up to the “Fat Woman,” stuck his nose into

her crouch, inhaled loudly, stepped back and

sneezed. The woman embarrassed said, “He must have

smelled my cat.” Everyone acted as if nothing had

happened.

That afternoon, I was on the midway getting ready

to open the Creeper and Jimmy walked up, he was in

the mood for excitement. His idea of fun was to go

38



out, get an old car and roll it over as many times

as possible. I had never done anything like that,

so naturally I wanted to try it. We agreed to meet

at closing time on the edge of the fairgrounds. I

wanted to bring Suzy along, but he said it was a

manhood thing, we had to do it alone. He said we

would pick up the girls after we were finished and

go skinny dipping at a rock quarry outside of town.

As day became night, the idea of rolling a car got

more real. I imaged all kinds of scenarios. The

car would roll over and I'm smashed in the back set

and not found for weeks. As I walked to the edge

of the field where I was to meet Jimmy I saw a 1946

Chevy pull up and stop. I walked up to the car to

see Jimmy fooling around under the dash. He looked

at me and asked, “What do you think?” I was

suddenly paralyzed with fear.

Off we went down a long dirt road toward a rock

quarry. The tailpipe was dragging and smoke was

39



around when a biker showed up and asked me a lot of

questions about some people that were at the quarry

before we got there. He was very strange, but in

those days bikers were all strange. Everyone was

getting out of the water when I saw a convoy of

cars coming down the dirt road at top speed, a dust

plume rising behind them. I had a bad feeling about

staying so I told Jimmy we should get into the car

and head out of there. He was slow to react. At

the time I thought it was his pride, but I don't

think he knew what to do. Simply, he panicked, got

into the car and froze. He couldn't start the car.

The cars pulled up to us so their headlights would

be upon us and they got out of the car. One of

them had been beaten badly. He was in a fighting

mood and we were about to be the victims of

revenge. I closed the back door when one of them

told me to get out. Jimmy just sat there and I was

holding back my panic. I think that's when this

41



one guy took a swing at me through the window. I

leaned back dodging him. The next time he swung at

me, I put my foot up and his fist hit the metal tap

on the heel of my shoe. It took all the skin off

his knuckles. There's something primal about angry

crowds and blood that brings out the beast in men.

They started throwing rocks at the car. One large

rock came through the back window bounced off the

seat and landed on the floor beside me. It was

time to get out. I screamed at Jimmy to start the

car. The tone of my voice must have jarred him

into consciousness. He turned the key and as if by

magic that wonderful old Chevy started. He popped

the clutch and the dirt and rocks flew. We were on

our way out of there. Suzy was hanging out the

window yelling at them. Jimmy was one of the best

drivers I've ever known. His girl Jessie was

hiding. She had been in this type of situation

before and knew what to do. Keep your head down

and carry a gun. We were bouncing around the

42



quarry and the cars were in close pursuit. Jimmy

pointed the car in the direction of a field of tall

grass and we went plowing through. The cars were

50 yards behind us when he turned off the lights.

All we could do was listen to the loud noises of

the car hitting stuff. Somehow we lost them in the

darkness and came to rest. I could hear them all

around us. Jimmy decided to stay put. We waited a

few minutes until the cars were all gone. I must

say it was very exciting.

The next day, the fairgrounds were almost dry and

everything was back to normal. The big top was

magical to me. The animals had their own smell

that would drift across the fairgrounds. I always

tried to see the rehearsals, because the performers

were dress differently and the lighting was not

43



theatrical. It was raw and real.

I stopped by that morning to talk to Sam the Clown.

We sat and talked in the stands. I wanted to know

how all these people made money. What he told me

startled me. He said, “Danny is smart, he knows

that if you have live entertainment then you get

the large crowds to the midway and that's where you

make the money. More and more shows are not

carrying the big top because it cost too much.

This is one of the last small ones.” I didn't

really understand what he was saying until I was

older and there were only a few shows left in this

country. He said one thing that I heard before.

“On the midway it’s all about action and saving

face.”

I walked back to the Creeper thinking about what he

had said. It was time to open the show so I got

everything ready. I picked up the Creeper, removed

44



it from its blue velvet bag and placed it on the

glass table. I felt something strange. I was for

the first time looking forward to the first mark of

the day.

I looked down the midway and saw Jimmy coming with

his arm around a guy. They walked up and Jimmy

introduced Jerome. It's like we were hunting. The

game was just standing there eagerly waiting to get

taken. I started the game in the usual manner

taking my cues from Jimmy. We knew he had $500 on

him. We won that in 10 minutes. But, I wanted

more. I was after something else, something that

mattered more to him than money. I wanted to hurt

him and I didn't know why. Jimmy told me to quit

the game with this guy and move on. But, I wanted

to press on, so I did. I told Jerome I was willing

to play for big stakes if he was. Of course he was

excited, so we made a bet for his new Ford

convertible. Jimmy tried to stop me but I

45



continued.

Jimmy was angry with me to the point where he

stopped the game. I took the car keys from him.

Suzy and I took it for a ride that night. She

didn't give it a second thought that I had cheated

this guy out of his new car. It's all part of the

game. On the other hand my grandfather wasn't

happy at all when Jimmy told him what had happened.

He sent him to bring me to the trailer.

Suzy and I had stopped at drive-inn burger place

for a shake and french fries. We were about to get

into serious making out when Jimmy found us. He

pulled up in the company pick-up. “Red, your

grandfather is upset. He wants you at the trailer

now.” He didn't wait for an answer. The next

thing I knew he was speeding back toward the fair

grounds. I could tell he was real angry. It

looked like he was to blame. After all, he was my

46



tutor on the Creeper and I had shown no respect for

the rules of the game. By beating the mark out of

the car I was opening us up for the Sheriff to come

out to see Danny. Somehow I knew that even if

Danny was upset he would blame himself for putting

me in that position in the first place. God please

don't send me home.

We pulled up in front of the trailer and Danny was

waiting in the doorway. He was the original poker

face, so I knew he was thinking it was time to send

me home before I got in real trouble. Suzy got out

of the car and quietly said good night. Danny told

me to come in and have a seat. He said, “You're

going to give the car back. Put the keys on the

table. I want you to pack your clothes and be

ready to go home tomorrow.”

I said, “Please let me explain. I didn't mean to

do it. Well, maybe I did. But, it seems like part

of the game. Taking what you want from these

47



people.” He looked at the floor. “When I came to

this country as a young boy, my brother and I were

all alone. We learned how to play cards on the

boat and in the streets. We couldn't speak the

English language. So, we had to find a way to eat.”

I could see he was in pain as he talked about this

time in his life. “You don't have the same

problems we had. I should not have brought you

with me this season. You're too young.” He loved

me and this had hurt him deeply. I said, “Look I

did it. I'm sorry. Please let me stay. Give me

another chance.” I pleaded. He said, “Don't con

me.” Looking for a way out I said, “I'll bring

the car back to the guy myself. I'll do it in the

morning.” He hesitated for a moment and walked

around the room.

After a long silence he spoke, “OK, but I want you

to do what you're told and nothing else.” It was

clear that he didn't want to send me home. But, at

the same time he wanted me to learn to control my

48



passion for the game. The truth is I loved taking

stuff from these people. It was fun. To everyone

else it was a serious business.

Danny was still uneasy with the arrangement. Even

if there was an apology, the truth is that the guy

lost his car in a rigged game. By giving it back

we were admitting that fact. If we could make it

look like we were not greedy by giving the car

back, then we could save face and the guy would not

be angry. I had to give it back. I asked,

“Grandpa, please let me take the car back. I'll

tell him we didn't want him to loose the car, so we

are returning it. We don't want any bad feelings.”

I waited for an answer. He stroked his fingers

through his hair. “Do it tonight. Go out with

Jimmy and return the car. The sooner the better.

We'll talk more in the morning.”

Jimmy was outside in front of the campfire when I

49



approached. He looked at me with anticipation

“What did he say? No let me guess. He wants you

to go home. Right?” “Yes, no and maybe. I'll talk

to him in the morning. It all depends on you.” He

looked like the guilty one. He knew that he had

done this kind of thing in the past. I didn't have

to bring it up. I said, “He wants you to come with

me to return the car, now.” The fact that everyone

knew about the car by now, meant we had to get it

back fast. Jimmy was great at this stuff. I was

feeling a lot better, because he was with me. He

got up, turned and walked away from me talking to

me. “I'm going to get fired or killed teaching you

this business. Come on. What was everyone so

upset about? It was just a little mistake.”

When we got to the guy’s house Jimmy went to the

door and knocked. A well dressed black woman came

to the door. She said, “Yes, what can I do for

you?” Jimmy took off his hat. “Well, Ma’am my

50



name is Jimmy Jackson and I work at the Bright

Light Shows. We are here to return the car. On

the title it says, this address.” She was furious.

“Well, come on in boys.” She turned and bellowed.

“Jerome get out here, it's your lucky day.” She

sat down in an old over stuffed chair, it look like

a queen’s throne. The odor in this house was

different from our house. The food smelled great

and it made me hungry. She turned to me and said,

“Sit down son.” Jerome came into the room. He

was mama’s boy.

Jimmy sized him up instantly. “Jerome, I'm here to

give you your keys back. We don't want any bad

feelings. Anyway here are the keys and the title.”

He was so delighted that he didn't hear anything

else we said. Mama was about to deliver a speech

about the moral issues but Jimmy cut her off. “I

smell pecan pie. I bet you make the best in the

County. How about a sample.” Just as Jimmy had

51



intended she forgot what she was about to say and

went to the kitchen with Jimmy in tow. Jerome

quietly stood in the middle of the room looking at

me. I said, “I'm truly sorry about the car.” He

wasn't listening. She came out of the kitchen and

asked me to join them. The pie was great. I

realized how much she was like my mother.

The next morning, Suzy came to awaken me. She had

tears streaming down her cheeks. Danny had died of

a heart attack in his sleep. She tried to comfort

me. “Death came quietly in his sleep.” I've never

understood what that means exactly. How could you

know for sure? What if he could feel the heart

failing in a dream and it was really happening, but

he never fully awakened.

I ran to the Airstream, Claudia was sitting down on

the trailer steps sobbing. She lived for him.

Everyone was sitting around the front door of the

Airstream. They all tried to comfort me. I turned

52



to see the midway, as if it had died as well. The

rescue team rapped up and Danny was placed in the

ambulance. We all cried as they drove him away.

My grief was not what I thought it should be. I

was very disappointed in myself. Everyone told me

he was in a better place, but it was so abstract.

The show had 23 more dates in the summer season.

Because Danny was a master of planning dates and

contracting concessions Claudia felt we could go

on, at least for the season. Then she could decide

whether or continue with the show.

That day we all walked through the paces, but it

was awkward. We dropped the tents and packed them

into the black trucks. That night I went to the

Airstream to check on Claudia. The door was open

and I saw her sitting at the dining table crying.

Her hand was wrapped around a glass of beer. On

53



the table was lit Pall Mall with red lipstick on

the tip burning in the ashtray. I asked if she

wanted me to come back another time? She invited

me in and hugged me for a very long time. She was

a strangely charming woman. For the first time I

cried with her over loosing Grandpa. I guess

grieving was meant to be a shared experience. But,

why was I thinking that someone was going to catch

me having the wrong feeling? The way Danny died

fit somehow. He was doing what he loved most.

Now, I know where I got the idea that what you do

in this life is important. It can be the cause of

great pain for the people that love us. In one way

we draw life from the people around us. Danny did

that in a nice way. At least people didn't hate

him for it. Then the unthinkable happened, the

first greedy thought came creeping in. What was

going to happen to the Bright Light Show’s?

54



I didn't want it to come to an end. Everyone

thought Claudia would keep the show. The next day

my Dad came up from Miami and we grieved together.

I wanted it to be over with. That night we

traveled south on the train with Danny's body to a

funeral home in North Miami Beach. We were both

dead tired at the funeral. Danny's coffin was

carried

to the grave sight and placed at the foot of the

Showman's Association monument. He was placed in

the shadow cast buy a 15 foot bronze elephant. My

Dad greeted strange men. Danny's friends had come

to say good-bye. They were mostly Jewish and

Italian

Showman. They disappeared a quickly as they had

appeared in a fleet of black Cadillac’s.

Danny's will, was to be read at the wake at our

home. In it was his wish, that I inherit the show.

He didn’t plan on going so soon. It didn’t take

55



long for me to decide to give it to Claudia to sell

or keep. Like my Dad, I was not meant to be a

traveling showman.

I was filming in Miami not long ago, so I stopped

at the cemetery and spent time sitting on the grass

beside him. I learned much about life in the short

time we spent together. The most important thing

is that love last forever and that very little else

matters.

same circus different clowns

Documents