ryan hartmann, ph.d....a smart girl’s guide to starting middle school julie williams montalbano my...
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Ryan Hartmann, Ph.D.
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Hormones ◦ Emerging Sexuality
◦ Pressure to like the opposite sex
Girls developing earlier ◦ Can look fully developed
Boys slower to develop
Children are more aggressive ◦ Mean towards each other
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Technology ◦ Cell phones and laptops
◦ Many social opportunities
Online Grades ◦ Accountability for students
◦ Parents and students watching grades
◦ Self-advocacy
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6th Grade ◦ Much larger environment
◦ Different peer configurations, new classmates
◦ Multiple Teachers and classes
Different teaching styles
◦ Different expectations
Parents
Teachers
Self
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7th Grade ◦ School is not as easy
◦ Middle Child Syndrome
◦ Identity Crisis
Want the help provided to 6th graders
Yet want the freedom and respect of 8th graders
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8th Grade ◦ Academic performance has more impact
Increased difficulty, some studying for first time
◦ Preparing for High School
◦ Worries about unknown of High School
◦ Physically Growing and Maturing
Boys starting to catch up with Girls
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Can I do the work?
Do other kids like me?
Do I fit in?
Can I be cool if everyone knows I am smart?
What if I’m not as smart as…
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Learning Disabilities
Dyslexia
Processing Speed
Executive Functioning
AD/HD
Depression ◦ Low Self-esteem
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Generalized Anxiety
Panic Attacks
Social Anxiety
Phobias
Test Anxiety
Obsessive Compulsive
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Excessive Worry
Difficulty Controlling the Worry
Racing Thoughts
Rumination
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Restless, Keyed Up, or On Edge
Easily Fatigued
Mind goes blank
Irritability
Muscle Tension
Sleep Disturbance
Psychosomatic Complaints ◦ Headaches or Stomachaches
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Irritable, Angry, and/or Snotty
Can be fine at school, snarky at home
Withdrawn when left alone ◦ Avoidant of activities and interactions
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Dependent
Overly emotional or restrained
Rigid Thinking
Difficulty with Transitions
Refusal to go to School
Continuous Need for Reassurance ◦ Repeatedly asking the same questions
◦ Difficulty separating from parent
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Anticipatory Anxiety ◦ Preparing for the worst
Cognitive Distortions ◦ All or none, black and white thinking
◦ Discounting the positive
◦ Mental filter
◦ Mind reading
◦ Emotional reasoning
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Outside appearance seems fine
Others are not aware of the anxiety and do not have information about it
Not communicated well or maybe at all
Experience on the outside could be positive ◦ Thoughts make overall experience negative
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Parenting Style ◦ Very relaxed
◦ Micro-managing
Child factors ◦ How much your child feels they need/will seek help
◦ How much your child actually needs help
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So what is a normal amount of anxiety?
How do I know if my child needs more help than I can provide?
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How frequently is it happening?
How intense is the anxiety?
How long does it last?
Are the tasks, activities, or obligations of life still being completed?
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“Anxiety becomes a problem when it causes emotional pain and disrupts your child’s ability to function well at school and in daily life.”
Mayer (2008)
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Relaxation Techniques
Physical Activity
Artistic Expression
Entertainment
Interpersonal Communication ◦ Peers
◦ Parents
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Supportive ◦ Do not discount feelings
Localize problem, reduce overgeneralization
Problem-Solve ◦ Discuss child’s abilities
◦ Identify coping strategies
Identify ways to reinforce desired behaviors ◦ Increase motivation to face fears
◦ Avoid enabling avoidance
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Challenge
Replace
Reframe
Automatic Thoughts can be Resistant
Keeping a journal can be extremely helpful ◦ Increase psychological insight
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Consistent and unremitting pattern of not managing responsibilities ◦ Remove self from activities
◦ Push away support
◦ Not trying in school
◦ Panic
◦ Self-medication
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School Personnel
Pediatrician
Mental Health Professional ◦ Individual Psychotherapy
◦ Group Psychotherapy
◦ Family Therapy
◦ Psychological/Psycho-educational Evaluation
◦ Medication Evaluation
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“Your child can overcome anxiety problems by making gradual changes in his or her life. Persistence and patience are more important than boldness to ensure your child’s long-term success. The journey to recovery is not a straight line. Long-term progress includes plenty of temporary setbacks.”
Spencer, DuPont, & Dupont, 2003
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A Smart Girl’s Guide to Starting Middle School ◦ Julie Williams Montalbano
My Anxious Mind: A Teen’s Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic ◦ Tompkins and Martinez
The Anxiety Cure for Kids: A Guide for Parents ◦ Spencer, DuPont, and DuPont
Overcoming School Anxiety: ◦ How to Help your Child Deal with Separation, Tests,
Homework, Bullies, Math Phobia, and other Worries
Diane Peters Mayer
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