Hello! Welcome back to Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that I’m all moved now, and that I can play on a regular basis again.

Also, since Slideshare has been messing up my lovely Word-to-pdf stories, I’m trying out actually creating these things in PowerPoint. I hope it works, but if it doesn’t, I apologize in advance. Please be sure to let me know so I can not do it again.

Because it’s been so long, a recap is probably in order. I’m not the best at recaps, but I’ll try…

Last time, Lisa (on the left) was announced as heiress to you, the audience, although this is not something that the family thinks about. Lisa’s brand of Wacky is soubretteishness, although this will not kick in until she is old enough to flirt without it being creepy. Pictured on the right is Lisa’s twin sister Leila, the elder by a few minutes; her brand of Wacky involves an obsession with fairies. Lisa and Leila have two younger sisters: Phoebe, who wears prison-type garb (such as stripes or jumpsuits), and Rose, who is still a Toddler, but who has at least learned all her skills.

Several chapters ago, Old Adam was abducted by aliens, but did not come back pregnant. This is because he did not fill out the warranty card that came with the Farstar e3. Adam has subsequently purchased a new telescope -- for which, I might add, he filled out the warranty card with commendable promptness -- but has not yet been abducted again. I am very glad that I did not opt for the MOAR Aliens bonus, as I would have failed miserably by now.

Old Adam also bought an Electro Dance Sphere (for which he also filled out the warranty card), and he spends a lot of time on it. I believe that gets us all caught up, or almost so.

Old Adam has four daughters to see settled well. Like any good Victorian papa, he has been thinking about this since their birth and is becoming quite concerned at the quality of the youth today. Recently, he met a gentleman by the name of Leonid Sanders, who has a son he would like to see settled well. A possible solution to both problems is in the works.

OLD ADAM: And this is your son, Mr. Sanders?LEONID SANDERS: Da, this is Dmitri Leonidovich. Say hello to Mr. Shankel, solnyshko.DMITRI: He’o, Mista S’ankle.OLD ADAM: O! What a clever little chap!

OLD ADAM: And what a pleasing countenance! Why, his nose is almost noble! (to Leonid) You said that he is not yet Potty Trained?LEONID: Da, he was not, but he has since mastered skill.OLD ADAM: O, very good, very good! How old is he now?LEONID: He is two.OLD ADAM: Capital! He will not do for my older daughters, but I think he is of an age to make a match with my youngest, Rose. She is four.LEONID: Is good age difference. Wery suitable.OLD ADAM: I have always thought so.*

*Both Adam and Leonid are married to women older than themselves.

OLD ADAM: Well, Mr. Sanders, I must say that I am quite favorably impressed with your son -- and, I might add, with yourself. If you are amenable, I believe we can come to an arrangement.

LEONID: Wery amenable indeed.

OLD ADAM: Then we are agreed: when they have both graduated University, Dmitri and Rose shall marry. If the marriage does not go through as planned, there will be a heavy forfeit.

LEONID: Is deal!

(The fathers shake hands, very pleased with themselves)

Adam’s next task was to secure approval of his arrangements for Rose.

OLD ADAM: Myra? Dearest? My own?MYRNA: Yes, Adam?OLD ADAM: …Allow me to give you a backrub, my love. (as he does so) Myrna, my dove, what would you say if I had found a way for Rose to be happy for ever after she graduates?MYRNA (luxuriating): Mmmmm. Oh, that would be nice.OLD ADAM: O, that is good! I am glad you approve.MYRNA: Approve of what? (utterly distracted as Adam dissolves a large knot by her shoulder blade) Oh, do that again!

Unfortunately, Adam’s efforts in that direction for his other daughters were not as successful as might have been.

OLD ADAM: A Count! You don’t say! Well, my lord, I don’t suppose you would happen to be in the market for a wife sometime in the next decade or decade and a half, would you?COUNT JOHN TSVIRKUNOV: Nah, been there, done that. Got grandkids and everything. Say, I heard you have bowling here. You don’t mind if I bring my own bowling shoes, do you?OLD ADAM: Of course not, my lord! Any regulation bowling shoes are most welcome.COUNT TSVIRKUNOV: Oh good! Those purple-and-pink rental shoes do not go with the tux.

The Tacky Flamingo is doing quite well, in part thanks to Adam’s special theme nights. Swimsuit Bowling is a perennial favorite and always has a good turn out.

I am sure this has nothing to do with Adam’s standard choice of swimwear. Nothing at all.

In fact, it’s doing so well that we get multiple stars at a time, even from customers who are busy complaining about the instant meal that they themselves placed in the middle of the floor not five minutes previously.

Even an incompetent Simmer who can’t remember to put the walls up to take a picture can’t halt the success of the business. The Tacky Flamingo is now at Level Eight.

Although many of the best customers are elderly playables, so I hope it hasn’t lost multiple levels by the next time I come around to it…

Old Adam keeps busy with his Clam Wrangling, of course, although he may be a Scatmaster at this point. He moves up the ranks very very s l o w l y. And although he has a lot of skill points, he can’t seem to hop into any career at a level high enough to nab a career reward right off the bat.

Perhaps the problem is his resume. I’m fairly sure most companies today are not impressed by a four-page précis of a decidedly bohemian employment history, even if it is written in elegant copperplate on the best cream-colored linen heavyweight stationery…

The Dance Sphere gets a lot of use during the afternoons. Old Adam is getting really quite good at it, and has an impressive number of Body points, but has not yet been abducted.

(mutters) Stupid aliens!

What’s also impressive is that in one afternoon on the Execuputter, Lisa went from one Charisma point to ten. You can see her finishing up Charisma Point #10 here.

And of course there are always gnomes to steal back.

Sometimes several times a night. I think I have three or four gnome clones in Adam’s inventory.

Incidentally, wouldn’t “The Gnome Clones” be a great name for a band?

You know who else really likes the Dance Sphere? Myrna. She’s always queuing up the action to go on it, even if it’s in use. If Adam’s at work and I lose sight of her for a moment, this is almost always where I’ll find her.

Myrna is quite Active, and has lots of fun working out, using the dance sphere, swimming, and things along those lines. I’m quite sure that if I had Apartment Life, she’d be skipping rope at every opportunity. This wouldn’t be an issue at all, if it weren’t for the fact that Adam likes his women nice and zaftig. My solution to this problem?

Baking.

Myrna will learn to make every possible dessert, and if I have anything to say about it, she will eat most of them herself. So far, she has managed gelatin (although any schmo can make that) and cookies. Next, I think, will be crepes suzette.

For the rest of her time, Myrna performs all the duties of a spouse: repairs (during the noon hour only), cleaning, painting, keeping up the friend count…

This will be the first family portrait not painted by Ryan.

And this would be why it’s not being painted by Ryan.

GRIM REAPER: M.. ..ank..?

RYAN: Yes?

GRIM REAPER: Wou.. .ou .ike .o ..comp… .e .o th. aft…ife?

RYAN: I’d rather stick around here for a while longer, but thanks for thinking of me.

GRIM REAPER: I. .as a …toric.. que…on.

RYAN: Crud.

GRIM REAPER: M.. ..ank..? ..e aft…ife .s thi. .ay.

RYAN: Busted!

Ryan (Miller) Shankel, 75 years old. Ryan initially did not return Ruth’s affections when they were Teens, but saw her through new eyes when they went to college. He was amazingly tolerant of all Ruth’s little quirks: the ubiquity of Gilbert & Sullivan, the dictate that he wear makeup, the, ah, unique outfits she chose for him, the constant childcare, the restrictions, the flamingos… Ryan was shaping up to be a very dull Sim before he decided to be a wonderful and supportive spouse. I’ll probably miss him almost as much as his family.

Ryan’s favorite Gilbert & Sullivan song was “Fair moon, to thee I sing,” from HMS Pinafore.

Ryan’s death was pretty devastating all around. Everyone would walk two or three steps and then break down sobbing again.

…Which restatement of something that happens in absolutely everyone’s game is a clever way to disguise the fact that I’m just slipping this picture in because I thought it came out well.

Ryan’s death occurred at the same time as Rose’s birthday. Oddly enough, this did not take place in the bathroom.

It might actually have been easier to take pictures of if it had, given the awkward construction of the third floor hallway.

MYRNA: Shoo flee, Lisa! Go up the stairs!LISA: I can’t! Leila’s in my way!LEILA: Well, Poppa’s in my way.OLD ADAM: I am not so uncouth as to manhandle my own child out of the hall.PHOEBE: ’Mesblood! How did this become my fault?

I had a lovely dress with flowers on it picked out for Rose, but when she put it on, it turned out that the “flowers” were actually fish. (I guess I need new glasses, huh?) This necessitated a mother-daughters shopping trip.

MYRNA: Let’s see: one, two, three -- I’m missing somebody. Rose, Lisa, Phoebe. But that’s only three. Who’s the fourth?LEILA: Me. Leila.MYRNA: Leila! (looks around, then asks Leila) Where’s Leila?LEILA: (sighs) Right here, Momma.MYRNA: Leila! There you are! Don’t run off like that!LEILA: (sighs)

The shopping expedition came home with every dress in the store that I thought might possibly have flowers on it. Most of these “flowers,” upon closer inspection, proved to be teddy bears or polka dots or things like that. In fact, there is only one dress for little girls that actually has flowers on it, and it was rejected for being 1) not Wacky enough, 2) already in use on another child in the ’hood, and 3) a really poor match for that hair ribbon. Rose ended up in this charming little number, which matches the ribbon. Plus, I think it’s at least a tad Wacky.

Rose may look sweet with those Shirley Temple curls and that darling blue ribbon, but make no mistake: she’s Adam’s daughter all right, and the very night she transitioned to Child, she set out to get the gnome back.

No, I don’t know who stole it or when. I don’t pay attention to that, as everyone in the family is more than Mean enough to go steal it back. Sometimes they even argue over whose turn it is for Gnome Retrieval Duty. You’d think it was the front seat of the car or something.

Unfortunately, Rose’s first mission hit a snag.

RUTH: Where do you think you’re going, young lady?ROSE: T-t-to get back ou-ou-our gnome!RUTH: In your pajamas? And after ten o’clock at night? At your age? You’re supposed to be in bed!ROSE: B-b-but our gn-gn-gnome…!RUTH: Go to bed this instant!(Rose flees)RUTH: And don’t let me catch you where you’re not supposed to be again, you hear?

The very next day, Rose began her quest to learn what she was and was not supposed to do.

I mean, obviously there were things that everyone else in the whole world knew without having to be told, and obviously there was something wrong with her for not knowing them, so some serious research was definitely in order. And the most authoritative source anywhere on the planet for rules about how to behave?

ROSE (reads, laboriously): “Miss Manners Guide to Ex-cru-ci-a-ting-ly Correct Behavior by Judith Martin”

Rose was not the only one devoting time to her studies this rotation. Lisa not only maxed out Charisma, she also made significant headway on Creativity: both skills useful for the budding actress. Leila worked on the hidden Dance Scholarship, since some of the most famous fairies out there are known for their mad dancing skillz. Sugar Plum Fairy, anyone? Phoebe studied Mechanical, mostly, as that seems handy for someone associated with prisons.

Everyone also worked on making friends with everyone else, as demonstrated here by Leila and Phoebe. I do prefer when my Sims are friends with their siblings…

However, the fact that Rose was a Child meant that the very next day was time for Leila and Lisa to become Teens.

Leila rolled Fortune; she likes Hard Workers who are Mechanically Inclined, but she’s not a big fan of Formal Wear. Lisa rolled Family; she likes men who are not afraid to wear Full-Face Makeup, provided that they’re Tidy and Not Stinky. It’s going to be a challenge having a Family-oriented professional flirt…

And the default birthday outfits actually looked fine, so of course they had to go. The one family where I want weird clothes, and they grow up coordinated…!

Leila is wearing an outfit that fits with Titania Summerdream’s basic color scheme, since I have no idea what Ms. Summerdream actually wore as a Teen. She is also sporting the great lady’s hairstyle, minus the crown.

Lisa is wearing clothing that reminds me of Marilyn Monroe; there are multiple hairstyles available that mimic Ms. Monroe’s hair in one movie or another, but they are only available for Young Adults and Adults. Most of her hairstyles were shorter and obviously dyed, so I chose a Wacky short ’do that looks artificially blonde. Further adjustments will be made as needed.

Now that our heiress is a Teen, it’s time to start working on some of the Official requirements. Playing pool isn’t one of them, but I have a theory that being good at pool makes learning the xylophone trick easier. It also raises the Fun meter pretty quickly after school.

Being in private school is supposed to make the Fun meter decay less quickly, but you couldn’t prove it by me.

Lisa has also taken up working on the robot bench. Those Gold Badges take a long time to get -- and getting the points takes even longer when your Simmer is too slow to get a picture of the badge and you have to build a Servo to prove you got it.

At any rate, Lisa hasn’t even gotten a Bronze badge yet, but her first robot didn’t shoot sparks all over the place, so I count it as a success.

In other news, Jo and Cecil are doing as well as ever.

CECIL: Ow! Jo! (to Buttercup) Mooo-ooom! Make her stop it!

BUTTERCUP: You need to learn to stick up for yourself, Cecil.

CECIL: But Mom -- !

BUTTERCUP: Tell you what: you break yourself out of her hold and I’ll teach you how to put some English on a noogie so you can get her back.

JOSEPHINE: Mooo-ooom!

And the girls have been doing particularly well with their farm stand. Of course, all the money they make is plowed right back into the business, but they’ve reached Level Two already. They’ve got a second table to sell fish on, and they’ve got a portapotty for any customers who might need it, plus a sink so they can refresh their Water bars as needed.

Best not to think too hard about the water supply for the sink.

Both Saigon and Fantine have Bronze Sales badges, although Saigon is closer to a Silver.

I will leave you with this final amusing image of Myrna on the Dance Sphere that didn’t fit anywhere else. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Ruth’s in over a month, and I will do my best to not take so long between chapters in future. (Although I think the little break gave some people a chance to get caught up -- or at least, I hope it did.)

Until next time, Happy Simming!

Notes, disclaimers, and other triviaThe title of this chapter comes from a song from The Yeomen of the Guard, in which two men who have been thwarted in love agree to lie about the death of a third. This will naturally make the women they are in love with love them back.

Solnyshko is a Russian term of endearment for a wife, a daughter, a son up to about ten, or a pet. It means “sunshine.” Language lesson supplied by Yousei on Boolprop, author of “I’ll Be There For You.”

The book Rose is reading is real: Judith Martin, Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. (New York: W. W. Norton & Co., c. 2005). It’s over 850 pages… and I’ve read it cover to cover twice.

The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order:

Mr. Shankel?

Would you like to accompany me to the afterlife?

It was a rhetorical question.

Mr. Shankel? The afterlife is this way.