Ruined Childhood

By Beth Connolly

Published by Beth Connolly at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 Beth Connolly

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“How could you, Greg?” Suzy asked with tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were

red and puffy, completely bloodshot from all the crying she had been doing. Her

marriage had been going so well. She had a beautiful daughter and a larger than life

husband who owned his own farm. He had seemed so nice, so sincere in his love. “I

just did,” he said coldly, not even trying to make it better. His eyes were cold and

uncaring; he didn’t love her anymore. “Did you even think of Elly? Did you even think of

what this would do to her? What’s she gonna think of you now, Greg?” she asked him

desperately her bloodshot eyes drenched with torrents of tears. All she could think of

was her precious daughter and how she was going to spare her the hurt. But she knew

that wasn’t possible; it never is in a divorce. “She’ll get through it,” he said unthinkingly,

ignoring the sound of little footsteps down the hall. He had convinced himself from the

very beginning of the affair that it wouldn’t matter to his seven-year old daughter, Elly.

“No, she won’t! She practically idolizes you, Greg. Do you know how bad you’ll be

breaking her little heart?” Suzy asked him, the pain seeping into her voice. She had

known that this was coming but she hadn’t expected it so soon. The extra hours at

work, the new ranch hand, it had all happened so fast.

Then, Elly walked into the room. “Daddy? Mommy?” she asked in her sweet little voice.

She took a minute to rub her eyes with her little fists before looking at her mom and dad.

She smacked her lips a bit as she took in the awful sight before her. Suzy looked at her

daughter despair in her eyes. Elly didn’t understand what was going on. Why were her

parents fighting? “Oh, honey. Why don’t you go back to bed,” Suzy said soothingly

trying to shoo her only daughter back to bed. She took Elly’s hand for a moment, but

then she jerked it back surprising her mom. “No! I want to know what’s going on,” she

said defiantly sticking her chin out. Her lips pouted and her blue eyes were confused as

she stood there, her arms now crossed against her chest. “Mom,” she whined. Suzy

sighed and then spoke. “Sweetey, mommy and daddy aren’t going to live together

anymore. Daddy and mommy are splitting up.” And then Elly’s world started crashing

down on her.

“Daddy” “I’m sorry, sweetey, but it’s true,” he said. He looked away for a moment and

then back at his whimpering daughter. He hated that look on her face; it was a mixture

of pure sadness and hate as if she could tell it was his fault. “Sweetey,” he said trying to

put his hand on her shoulder and squat down so that he could talk to her better. By now

tears were streaming down her pale cheeks. Elly sniffled loudly and pulled her arm back

from her father. “No!” she screamed as best as a seven-year old could. Her father

sighed. He should have known this was coming. “Elly, honey, I have to go,” he

whispered looking at her with sad brown eyes. “But why, daddy? Why!” she cried

grabbing a hold of him and clinging tight. “I just have to sweetey,” Greg said pulling her

into his arms and just hugging her for a minute. Eventually he pulled away and stood

up. He was ready to go. “Daddy!” Elly cried one last time. She ran to him and hugged

him before he walked out the door. He didn’t even look back as he left behind the only

things that ever really meant anything to him.

“They’ll get by without me,’ he told himself reassuringly on the way to the bar. If he was

going to get through this he would need a few drinks. “Besides they don’t need me

anyway.”

Meanwhile, Elly sat in her mother’s lap crying into her shoulder. Her eyes were puffy

and red. Snivels escaped every two seconds as she sat there motionless, unbelieving.

“How could he do this to her?” Suzy wondered and so did Elly as they sat there in the

silence. Suzy didn’t even think about herself in all of this. All she could think about was

poor little Elly. “Shh, hush little baby don’t you cry. Mommas’ gonna give you a…” She

stopped singing and started humming. She couldn’t give Elly what she wanted: her

father back.

Elly was lulled to sleep by the quiet tune of the song. She dreamt sweet wishful dreams,

dreams of her father coming back but even as she slept she knew that they could never

happen. Greg wasn’t coming back.

“So, how many of those you gonna drink?” the bartender asked sadly as Greg downed

his tenth glass of beer on tap. The bartender looked at him for a bit. He saw that Greg’s

eyes were clouded and foggy looking. He was way past drunk. Greg hiccupped before

answering. “As many as I can afford,” he said drunkenly hiccupping a bit more as he

said it. The bartender shook his head sadly having seen this so many times. It wasn’t

even funny. He pointed to the door signaling that it was time for Greg to leave. So, Greg

left the bar and started driving down the road.

Greg forgot to put on his headlights in his drunken manor and didn’t see the truck

driving straight at him. The impact of the two vehicles killed both him and the truck

driver…

# # #

Author’s Note: When I was in fifth grade I wrote this but what I wrote was a mere

skeleton. It started out with barely any emotion or meat to it but when I found it again

years later I decided to make it shall we say spiffier. In reality it was intended to be a

prologue or whatever it is you call those things where they show the past then jump to

the present. But for now it’s just a story, a mere inkling of a girl’s life. To me Suzy’s that

perfect mother figure. She’s the kind of mother everyone wants, the kind that’ll cuddle

you when you’re sad, that will make you pancakes on a rainy day and kiss you to sleep

at night. Elly’s the victim as are most children of divorces. It hits you hard when you’re a

kid. You don’t understand why mommy and daddy are fighting so often and then you

don’t understand why daddy isn’t sleeping with mommy in the same bedroom anymore.

You don’t know why daddy sleeps on the couch or why mommy has dark circles under

her eyes. You don’t know why daddy gets home late. But after a while it finally hits

home. Daddy doesn’t look at mommy the same way he used to. He doesn’t kiss her

when he leaves for work or when he gets back from work. It’s obvious now. They don’t

love each other anymore, or at least one of them doesn’t love the other. So the end

begins. That’s the way it always starts, with one losing that inseparable love for the

other. And then there comes separation and then pain. So it ends up ruining that child’s

childhood. Sure, some kids get past it pretty quickly but from experience I can say that

it’s not easy. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember mommy, or if you don’t remember

daddy. That gap is still there.

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