robotoys chapter 0x002
DESCRIPTION
The story of the robomouse BoSMi continues on RoboToys second chapter!TRANSCRIPT
Graziano G. Ravizza Presents:
ROBOTOYS
From an idea by G. G. Ravizza & G. Pisaneschi
Texts by Graziano G. Ravizza
Illustrations by Roberto Ronchi
English translation by Alessandro Drenaggi & Laura Munari
Colouring by Pamela Brughera & Roberto Ronchi
Digital Character Development by Alessandro Amati
SoundTrack by Davide Gatti
Special Thanks to Paolo Borella, Julian Smart (Anthemion Software)
Copyright © 2011 by Graziano G. Ravizza
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
in any form or by any means,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Based on First ePub Edition v.0.3-04-AO-PDF, September 2010
Revised July 2011
ISBN: 978-88-6435-011-0 (full ebook)
Visit the RoboToys web sites:
www.robotoys.info
www.bosmi.com
www.zzblu.com
RoboToons Publishing - Varedo (MB) - www.robotoons.com
LEVEL 0x002 THE BUSHNELL'S
:-? A silly song was coming out of the old colour TV at the Bushnell’s house.
A webpuppy for you my dear,
The new one, keep it near!
It’s got a robo-dummy,
It’s shining and it says “mummy”!
Click on the remote in your hand
And its love will be grand
Keep it close, where your hearts meet,
And may your dreams be sweet!
« Dreams be sueeet! At-choo. At-choo » Kiki was crooning and sneezing at the same time, rhythmically rocking from left to right.
The song went on slightly less silly than the previous verse: a more mature voice was rapping to a techno-pop rhythm.
But if you’re a boy, if you’re cool
If you’re strong like a bull,
Your web-bot’s here – stop playing chess – it’s gonna be a mess!
Two weapons on each paw,
And a laser cannon, that’s no straw!
Connect it to the Net – don’t be a goose, buy it now or… you lose! Looks like a video game, but don’t be fooled – it’s real! It’ll sweep you off your feet – but watch your teeth!
Put it on your bedside table, but bro:
That’s no kids’ fable!
It’s super-fun, it’s a super robot game.
If you wanna video game, look for nothing else
Get a web-bot Spider… or else!
« They are Zed Zed BLUEEE RoboToys! » said a shrill chorus at the end of the commercial.
« Zey are Zed Zed BLUEEE robotoys! Zed Zed... at-choo... at-choo... AT-CHOO» was cheerfully repeating Kiki, sat on a yellow cushion in front of the TV, with her big eyes wide open: she had quite a cold.
Another commercial filled the TV screen.
Eat healthy, trust biotechnology.
Eat SOYONLY pasta
5% added genes only!
And, with just one thousand and twenty-four proof of purchase tokens, you’ll get the amazing infrared biopot for free!
« Turn that TV off at once, they broadcast nothing but rubbish » ordered Theresa Bushnell whilst hanging her and Tiberius’s coat on the clothes rack.
« Mummyyy! » Kiki rushed to the door and joyfully ran to her.
Her mother gave her little girl a kiss, but then she caught the whiff of something.
« What a lovely smell, Mrs. Luisa! Good evening, I’m home! »
« Good evening » Tiberius also chimed.
« Hi Theresa, hi Tiberius » Mrs. Luisa Carroll replied, as she came out of the kitchen stirring a pot. « Hang on, let me help you with the shopping bags»
« That’s very kind of you » answered Theresa. « Anyway, I wanted to thank you again for babysitting Kiki, I really couldn’t take her to MegaMart with me with that cold »
« No worries, Theresa, no worries. Don’t even mention it! As I told you before, I used your oven to cook the rabbit for tonight » said Mrs. Carroll.
« And you’re doing a marvellous job, I’d say » confirmed Theresa, once again smelling the fragrance coming from the kitchen.
Mrs. Carroll, who was a friendly, silver-haired robust lady, was Ricky’s grandma: when needed, she lent Theresa a hand babysitting Kiki.
Mrs. Carroll was a great cook; her forte was, without a doubt, rabbit with white wine, that Ricky loved.
But her cherry pies, such as the one that had her busily stirring in the pot now, were also awesome: whenever she made one, she would always bring a big slice to Tiberius and Kiki.
While Theresa was busy putting the groceries on the shelves with Mrs. Carroll, and while Pucci browsed through the shopping bags looking for its kibbles, Tiberius saw a flash of metal sparkling on Kiki’s pyjamas.
« Kiki, what’s that in your pocket? » asked Tiberius.
« Noting, noting » said Kiki, covering the pocket with her hands.
« But I reckon it’s something alright! Let me see »
« I don’t know. It’s noting, Berius »
« You might harm yourself. You’d better give it to me, before mum gives you a good smack »
« Mummy’s good. She doesn’t ack me! »
« Well then, let’s say she might send you to bed without dinner »
« Mummy’s good. Me dinner, yes! »
« Well then, let’s say she’s not getting you anything for your birthday »
« Mummy’s nice. Present for my birthday and for Christmas! »
« Ok then, if you don’t hand it to me now... I’ll take Pucci, I’ll break it apart and I’ll leave it like that »
The cat, laid on the sofa, kept licking its paw and moving it over the back of its ear, unaware of the looming danger.
« No. Pucci no take apart! Nice Pucci! Here »
Kiki’s little hand gave Tiberius an old screwdriver with a plastic handle.
That tool was very dangerous in her pink little hands, and not because she could have hurt herself: she knew how to use it all too well.
It was dangerous for others, because Kiki could open, take apart and destroy any electronic object she came across.
She had started when she was two, when Mr. Phildys, the administrator, had arrived to collect on some bills. His brand-new mobile video phone was disassembled in cover-screen-keypad-batteries in less than three
minutes. Mr. Phyldis was fuming, but what could you do it about it? Could you get angry at a pink, blonde, curly haired little thing who was smiling and asking you « What me do? »
The TV was locked up in a glued wooden cage so that it was impossible to get to it.
To be more precise, the last remaining TV was locked up in a wooden cage: the other two had been disassembled by Kiki in such a thorough and detailed manner that it had been impossible to put them together again.
The Internet terminal more or less underwent the same treatment. It had been rather easy to lock up in a wooden cover because, luckily, it didn’t have either a keypad or a mouse: you could either type directly on the screen or you could give it vocal instructions.
Robotoys, moreover, were Kiki’s great passion.
She would crouch like a cat, waiting for them to pass and then... bam! She grabbed them with a feline-like movement (which she had surely learnt from Pucci) and could reduce them to a thousand pieces in a matter of minutes. On the plus side, this taught Tiberius how to put them together again: robotoys were a lot simpler than TVs.
Kiki’s ability was remarkable or, better yet, incredible. How could she disassemble all those devices, with their dozens different screws and fixing system types, using only an old screwdriver? This was a mystery.
While Tiberius was trying to hide Kiki’s screwdriver in his room, his mother was trying to think of hiding places for the BoSMi box.
« Wait just a second for me, Mrs. Carroll » said Theresa « I’m quickly going upstairs to hide this robotoy. They can’t open it just yet: it’s a Christmas present! »
« No problem, dear, take your time » Ricky’s grandma answered. « I’ll take the rabbit out of the oven, in the meantime... »
Tiberius’s mother came out of the kitchen, she sped through the living room and then set off upstairs.
However, she saw Kiki, sat in front of the switched-off TV with a somewhat despondent face.
« What’s wrong, my dear little Kiki? » her mum said. « Come here, my precious »
Kiki hobbled limply in her mum’s arms, while sucking on her finger.
Mrs. Theresa, with her little girl in her arms, set off upstairs again, she went into her room, opened an old trunk and placed the BoSMi box in it.
« There we go, this way Tiberius won’t find it before Christmas: right, Kiki?! » said Theresa, cheerfully.
« Tue, mummy. Tue! » Said the little girl, with curly hair so blond and eyes so light-blue, that she really looked like a little angel: « Tibe not find it! »
|-O
It was Sunday morning but, above all, it was breakfast time at the Bushnell’s.
Mrs. Theresa’s make-up was flawless, and she was wearing an elegant red dress – perhaps a bit too short – and a pair of low-heeled suede shoes.
Kiki and Tiberius, still in their pyjamas, tousle-haired and a bit sleepy, sat at the kitchen table in front of two mugs of hot milk.
« Here’s four cookies for Kiki and eight cookies for my Tiberius. They’re tasty, aren’t they? » Mrs. Theresa asked her children.
« Well... actually, they don’t taste like much » answered Tiberius, dejectedly, after he had tried one.
« They no tate ike uch » said Kiki too, even more dejectedly.
« Hum... you might be right about that» admitted their mum, biting a cookie. « But they’re healthy and with no added genes or flavours. Ah, Tiberius, I’ve been meaning to tell you that you have to stay with Kiki this morning since it’s Sunday, and Mrs. Carroll can’t. And
you, Kiki, mummy’s going to bring you a nice present for your birthday. But be good on Christmas... don’t ask for another one then. I’ll be back for lunch with some yummy piping hot pizzas. What do you say about that? »
« If you bring me a tasty one, that’s fine by me, mum » answered Tiberius, rubbing his eyes.
« Me want it extra-tasty with xtra-spicy pperoni» replied the little girl, elated.
« Of course, Kiki » said her mum, ironically. « Spicy pepperoni, at your age. Where do you get such silly ideas... from the TV, I bet. Anyway, finish off all that milk and cookies, then put the mugs and spoons in the Washlux. I really have to go now, kids: I’m running out of time and I still have a few errands to run this morning »
A moment later, Theresa was on her way out to do her shopping: « Cheers, kids, I’ll see you later »
At the Carroll’s, while Mrs. Luisa was already preparing Sunday lunch, Ricky was watching TV.
« Ricky! Your cousin Martha’s on the phone »
« I’m not here. I’m watching cartoons »
« But she’s very angry! »
« Then I’ve been missing for three years and I’ve run off to Alaska »
« All right. I’ll tell her »
« Thanks »
The cartoons were the old 2D kind, with some funny talking animals.
Molly the cow was idle and looking at Jacob the ox, who was working.
« Jacob, why don’t you come here and sunbathe with me?»
« No thanks, Molly, I have to finish my chores »
« But a little rest never hurt anybody »
« I know. But I can’t: one needs to work »
The next day, both Molly and Jacob were brought to a food factory, diced up, cooked in broth, seasoned with glutamate, cooled down, squeezed, put in a can and sold on special offer at the supermarket.
« What a weird cartoon! » exclaimed Ricky « I didn’t get it at all! »
His grandma called: « Ricky, come here please »
« Yes, coming, grandma. What is it? »
« Bring this slice of cake to Tiberius and Kiki. But switch off that TV first!! »
« All right, grandma. I’ll take it over straight away »
Ricky went out with his long coat. Then, along the road, he bumped into Mrs. Theresa:
« Good morning, Mrs. Bushnell! »
« Good morning to you, my dear Ricky. But what is that I see? Your grandma is spoiling you kids rotten. What is she making for lunch? »
« Buttered hare with duchess potatoes »
« What a splendid cook! Well, bye Ricky, have a nice Sunday »
« You too, Mrs. Bushnell »
While Mrs. Theresa was switching on her automatobile, Ricky was already buzzing at the Bushnell’s with a wrapped-up plate in his hands.
Ding-dong
Tiberius opened the door.
« Hey Ricky, watcha doing here? »
« Grandma told me to bring you this »
« Oh, ok. Come in, it’s cold outside »
« It’s not exactly warm, no... » answered Ricky. « Tiberius, did you manage to fix the buzzer? Didn’t Kiki break it apart? »
« I couldn’t put it together again, I replaced it with a new one last night » said Tiberius, miserably. Then, entering the kitchen, he asked: « Should we eat the cake now or leave it for later? »
« We’re eating it straight away! Maybe just a little slice? » suggested Ricky while sitting down.
« Eat aight away ummy cake! » Kiki happily jumped on the chair with a huge fork and knife in her hands: but where did she get them?
The cake was gone in the blink of an eye, but Ricky’s curiosity still wasn’t satisfied:
« Tiberius, why don’t we take a look at that robomouse you bought yesterday? »
« I can’t open it now: it’s meant to be for Christmas » answered Tiberius.
« Come on, your mum will never notice... »
« Well, that won’t be a problem. She’s gone to MegaMart to buy Kiki a webpuppy... after that, she had to buy some clothes and then a couple of pizzas »
« You see, there’s time! We’ll just give it a quick look and then you’ll put it away » Ricky insisted.
« Come on, knock it off! Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know where my mum put it. She hid it! »
« Well, she must have really hidden it well! » said Ricky sarcastically, while the BoSMi box slowly emerged from under the table.
« Here’s BoSMo! » exclaimed Kiki, with a content smile: the little girl had put the box on the counter.
Tiberius wasn’t completely sure about disobeying his mother, but Ricky kept insisting.
After some hesitation he finally made up his mind, and the three of them went from the kitchen to his room upstairs.
Tiberius’s room had a lot of posters on the walls: the cyber-rock bands of the moment, some of the most famous video games and movie protagonists.
A few robotoys pieces were scattered on the ground, even though his mum had already told him to tidy everything up.
On the writing desk were a few manuals such as “How to Interface an AUTOCAT to the Most Famous Video Games” or “RoboDog – Installation Guide”. Next to the manuals was Tiberius’s Internet terminal, which was a children’s version with integrated software filters: from this terminal, you could only surf on “dot kids” websites, which were suitable for children and youngsters alike.
The very same terminal could also be used as a console to play video games.
Next to the terminal, on the right, was the picture of a sporty-looking man, with short spiky hair and big dark eyes, proudly holding in his arms a child with a pacifier, who looked just like him. That child was Tiberius.
With extreme care, Tiberius opened the box, took out the little robot, undid the elastic bands that kept it fastened and placed it on the writing desk under the light of a desk lamp.
He tried pushing on its nose, pulling its tail, brushing the mechatronic eyes and, finally, he gave it two quick strokes – click click – on the head: the robotoy switched itself on.
« Wow! I see three alien invaders in front of my 1024x1024 pixel pupils. Two of them are larger... one hundred points; and one is smaller... at least three hundred points plus bonus » was BoSMi’s war cry, while extracting two little calibre nine cannons from both sides, thus putting itself in battle mode.
« Alien invaders, us?! This robotoy’s software must be worm-eaten! » Tiberius exclaimed.
« Oh, is that so? You’re not alien invaders? Then I’ve got it! » said BoSMi, retracting the two small cannons and doing a twirl whilst extracting two glowing laser sabres instead:
« Well, the bigger one with the round face must be a 1000-point evil dragon in disguise, the one to the left with the spiky short hair a 1500-point knight and the smallest blond one a 3000-point magic elf »
« I’m supposed to be a dragon? » Ricky answered flabbergasted. « This robotoy isn’t just worm-eaten: it’s downright dumb! »
« I got it, I got it » BoSMi agreed with his snout. « You want to confuse me because you’re simply three dodgy cyber-mob guys who just took control of this neighbourhood, and the smallest one is your dark martial arts master »
« En garde! Take this, and this and this! » cried the robomouse, turning a somersaulting and then freezing in a plastic Kung-fu position: « Maybe I could use my forbidden move to kill ‘em all together »
« Maybe we should reset it, there must be something wrong with it » Tiberius said seriously.
« Maybe it’s better we give Kiki a screwdriver and get her to make it stop working » Ricky said, a bit frightened.
« En galdeee! Take this, this, thiiiis! » parroted Kiki, mimicking moves and sounds.
« I’ll reset it. There must be a way... » said Tiberius, moving his hand closer to the robomouse, which retreated a bit.
It suddenly started wagging its little tail: « Hey kids! Are you serious? Reset me?! But I just wanted to play with you! I’ve been sitting in that box for months! »
Tiberius frowned in amazement: « It’s not you who has to play with us. If anything, we have to play with you! We’re the kids, you’re a robotoy! »
« Me little girl, you roboty » Kiki repeated.
« Is there a difference? I didn’t think... » BoSMi asked, surprised.
« Of course you weren’t thinking » answered Tiberius, annoyed. « Robotoys like you can’t think. They even said so yesterday on TV! »
« And if they said it on TV, does that make it true?! » said the mouse, shaking its little robot head. « These kids nowadays really have too few processors in their heads »
« What did you say? » Ricky’s face betrayed an expression of astonishment.
« I think this robomouse might have just said something sensible » said Tiberius, thoughtfully. « What would that Professor Knudsen think about that...»
While BoSMi and the kids were arguing animatedly, someone was intently observing them: shuffling its little paws, a minuscule solar cells BugCamera was leaning out from the chandelier, trying to put the picture in focus.
The image framed by the BugCamera was transmitted to a black minivan parked in front of the Bushnell’s. Inside the minivan, many monitors showed different parts of the house and a man in a black tracksuit was talking in an excited voice in the microphone/earpiece he had with him.
« The vector is vocally interfacing with three biological beings, sir. I’ll switch to BugCamera number 2. No, wait... it looks as though the biological beings may want to reset the vector but... the vector has jumped off the table and is speeding towards the corridor, sir. Overview to the right with BugCamera 5: they’re running after it.
It’s rolling down the stairs! It’s crashing, I mean no! Zooming in on 7. All the kids are downstairs now. The thin biological one is in the lead, the little female behind him is pressing forward. The fat biological one tries to close in at the centre of the room but the vector manages to slip away.
I’m following the events on BugCamera 8, sir.
The vector is extremely fast and always manages to wriggle away but it’s not familiar with the house so it is forced to make difficult manoeuvres.
Now the vector is forced on the defence, it’s got the fridge on its right and a wall with a heater on its left.
The three biological ones are closing in on it and have it cornered! Yees! They’ve cornered it, sir!
The fat biological one takes out a rubber hammer and aims for the mouse’s head: HE HIT IT!
The mouse is staggering, it’s twirling on itself.
HE HIT IT AGAAAAIN!!!
Looks like the last strike did some damage, but it’s now speeding up again and quickly dribbles away under the legs of the biological ones and aims for the cat flap on the kitchen’s door.
It’s coming out now: IT’S COMING OUT! Everybody ready to seize it, everybody ready. Sir, I’m switching to external overview! I can see Delta 3 waiting for it outside, disguised as a street-sweeper. But... it’s not out yet, how come? Let’s switch back to the internal bug camera! »
« Don’t let it get away, Pucci, don’t let it get away! » yelled Ricky, agitated and brandishing the rubber hammer.
MEAOUWWW
« Hey, hit the mouse, not the cat! »
« But it’s on it, how can I only whack the mouse? »
FUZ FUZ FUUZZ!!!
The BoSMi was turning on itself and trying to shake Pucci off its back, but the latter was hanging tightly to it with its claws.
He tried once, twice, three times and, at the fourth try, BoSMi finally managed to break free with a jerk, throwing the cat on the ground.
« What an amazing game, BoSMi! » yelled Ricky, as a few drops of sweat ran down his forehead « What’s it called? »
« It’s called Hammer the Mouse and Run » the little robot answered. « But you only managed to hit me two or three times tops, you haven’t even passed the first level »
« How many levels are there? » asked Tiberius, while Kiki stroked Pucci, which was clearly in a daze.
« Well... after you’ve hit me 8 times you pass the first level and you move on to the bonus one, where I zigzag very slowly. If you manage to hit me every time I change direction, you earn 1000 points, which is the bonus »
« But what if we hammer you too hard? »
« In that case, the Tilt sensor goes off and you lose all the points. You can’t go overboard or else I might break down. I’m made of electronic circuits after all, not of flesh like Pucci! »
The cat, slightly concerned, looked at the robomouse.
« Anyway, apart from Hammer the Mouse and Run, you might have noticed I have quite a few pills to play with.
If you want to try one... your pick, but it has to be a harmless one, ok?»
The robomouse winked at them.
Tiberius browsed in the round pill case, looked at the robomouse with a smile and then stuck a “Sleeptightin” pill into its throat.
« Hey! What are you doing?! » BoSMi cried. « I said a harmless one: that’s no way to... yawn... that no way to... YAWN »
BoSMi fell asleep immediately, its shining heart now beating a peaceful green.
« Did you kill it? » Ricky asked, worried.
« No, of course not » answered Tiberius. « I’ve just put it to sleep with a “Sleepthightin” pill. Anyway, it really is a weird robotoy. I’ve never heard one that could speak in such a realistic way. It seems as though it might be elaborating thoughts for real! »
Ricky moved his hand closer and touched the BoSMi under what appeared to be its tiny front paws. The robomouse, sound asleep, let him. Then he inched closer still and examined it in detail: « Did you see how many different weapons it took out?! How can he fit them all in there? I’ve never seen a better equipped
robotoy. And I’ve never played a game as awesome as the hammer one: BAM, BAM, BAM, it was so cool coshing it! »
Kiki pulled herself up on her tiptoes by grasping the edge of the writing desk with her little hands.
She stretched a hand and with her tiny fingers tested the mobile tail, the two wheels, the fastening of its ears and the micro-screws with which its nose was assembled. She said nothing but it was clear she liked the way in which BoSMi was held together.
Tiberius went to fetch BoSMi’s manual. He then started reading it, explaining bit by bit what he understood.
BoSMi was a robotoy shaped like a mouse, that could be connected to the Internet. There was no need for cables or strange interfaces: it more or less worked like a mobile video phone.
Two little electronic engines on its sides allowed it to move; twenty-eight servomotors permitted it to make all those funny faces.
Its heart, positioned in the core, was a luminous emitter which could switch colours: green, when BoSMi was calm, red when it was restless. Its rhythm could change according to how it was feeling.
The purpose of this robotoy was to play video games with kids. Instead of simply interacting with characters moving on the screen, a robot like BoSMi allowed you to live a videogame inside your own house: Hammer the Mouse and Run was one of these games, that involved actually running after the mouse with a real rubber hammer.
Furthermore, you could play VirtuaPong with it: do you remember that ancient video game with two luminous bars moved by the players, and a ball bouncing between them on the screen? There you go, this game was basically like that ancient one, the difference being that you manoeuvred one bar, and the BoSMi the other: the ball would obviously bounce on its own.
All kind of cheats were allowed, such as putting a hand on the BoSMi’s face so that it wouldn’t be able to see the ball, or give it a few strokes to disturb it, not too hard though, or it would go haywire like a pinball machine: in that case, you’d forego your points.
In turn, it could attempt to strike your mouse with its nose or bite your finger and your arm. Sometimes it might also emit absurd sounds, just to distract you.
The BoSMi, like any other robotoy after all, could not be programmed. It would have been too difficult for kids to try.
The developers had found a system for the child to obtain the behaviours he or she wanted from his or her robotoy, with no need to actually reprogramme it: you just needed to slip it a pill!
Every robotoy was manufactured with a stock of pills most suitable for its activities.
For instance, robodolls had a stock of barley sugar pills to make them happy and say “Thank you mummy: I love you”. They also had an array of camomile pills to calm them down a bit, “bitter medicine” pills if you wanted to punish them if they did something wrong, and then the usual “apple”, “cheesecake” and “steak” pills for pretend-snacks and pretend-dinners. A certain number of “Burpinol” pills were also supplied, in case your robodoll suffered from bad digestion.
Boys’ robotoys usually had different pills, such as “Boltoffanax” to make it spring faster or “Sluggix” to grab it more easily.
However, both types came with the daunting “poison” pill, to reset the robotoy once and for all. Its necessity became apparent when the first interactive robotoys marketed just would not stop talking: « unei nu-lu? Mii mi nu-lu! Bou bubei ka bu tuu mà. Bii bii no lo… no lo ka sari tuna, unei…unei? UNEIII? »
Modern robotoys were also accessorised with multiple souls: two or three per box. More of them could be purchased separately.
Souls could be freely inserted in the robotoy’s emotional memory in order to determine its predominant personality.
For example, by inserting half a sweet soul and half a good soul in a robodoll, it was possible to obtain that honeyed character little girls love so much.
By inserting, for example, half a strong soul and half a brave soul in a robodog, you obtained an excellent guard robot’s character.
You could also attempt more creative mixes: a quarter of this, a bit of that...
Evil souls, which determined a mischievous and spiteful character, were also included in children’s games: in order to use them you needed a password that, in theory, had to be entered by parents. But grownups understood little about robotoys and kids, if they so wished, played with them anyway.
The BoSMi manual, however, did not mention any of the weapons they had seen, nor did it say anything regarding the robotoy’s peculiar artificial intelligence. No toy on the market could think for real: they were all
just pretending! Further investigation was needed and, this time, Ricky had an idea.
« So, Tibe, you believe no robotoy is capable of elaborating actual thoughts »
« No, I don’t think so » agreed Tiberius. « As far as the manual goes, this is a regular robotoy. Also, aside from robotoys, no computers or real robots can actually think. Just yesterday I saw a certain Professor Knudsen on TV saying that even the most modern artificial intelligences can only compute thoughts in very specific fields »
« Well, then this BoSMi here would appear to be something very special »
« In a way, yes, Ricky, but I wouldn’t know how to prove it »
« I have an idea, Tibe. Wake it up, I have a test I want it to take »
« I’ll try. But let’s be careful here »
Tiberius knocked twice – click click – on BoSMi’s head.
The robomouse’s heart started sending angry red flashes, while its two cybernetic eyes irately looked at the three kids.
Kiki observed it with curiosity. Ricky, who had stuck his fingers in his mouth, was shaking slightly.
« Well, bless my megabytes! » the robomouse burst out. « That’s no way of treating a robotoy who has spent at least eight giga-cycles in a carton box! I asked you to try a harmless pill and you slipped me a “Sleepthightin”! »
BoSMi looked really angry.
« I’m sorry, I messed up: I thought it was a “Sluggix” pill » lied Tiberius.
« A “Sluggix” pill? But those are white and the “Sleeptightin” is pink: it’s practically impossible to make a mistake! » snorted BoSMi, as the beats of its glowing heart began to slow down. « Anyway, no harm done. Just try to be careful next time. I’ve been in that carton box in stand-by mode for so many clock cycles that I really don’t feel like sleeping anymore»
« Why did they put you in that box? » asked Tiberius.
« I don’t know. I can’t remember anything other than a few games »
« It’s all very weird, though: you don’t look like an electronic toy, you truly seem intelligent »
« Of course I am. I’m not stupid, you know! »
Ricky, seeing that the robomouse was now calm, gathered up some courage and cut in the conversation: « Err... I, to verify BoSMi’s intelligence, would suggest a test. I mean, a game »
« Let’s do this, kiddos. But it better be fun! And no more tricks! And, most of all, don’t put me in that box ever again: ok? »
The three kids looked at each other. Kiki nodded yes.
[:]
Ricky dialled his cousin’s number on his mobile video phone.
« Hello, Neumann residence, who am I talking to?»
« Hi Martha, it’s Ricky »
« Oh, hi Ricky. I tried calling earlier but I was told you were in Alaska. Anyway, I’m not mad anymore. How’s your dad? »
« Dad’s ok, he’s off on his usual bike ride with his fellow officers. Listen, Martha, I want you to speak to someone, I’ll explain later »
« Someone, who? Why? »
« It’s sort of a game, Martha, don’t worry »
Ricky put BoSMi on the mobile video phone; the camera had obviously been turned off.
« Hello, who is this? » asked Martha.
« That’s the problem, I can’t remember » BoSMi answered.
« Come on, don’t be silly! This is just another one of Ricky’s pranks »
« Why, has he been playing pranks on you? »
« Pranks? If only you knew... the day before yesterday, he grabbed my video-vocal journal and copied all of my audio-pictures. One of them had Peter’s face on it and I was saying “Together forever? What am I, an imbecile?!” That rascal sent it to him straight away. Do you have any idea what kind of a nasty scene Peter made? Ricky practically chased him away »
« And now? Are you mad at Ricky? » asked BoSMi.
« No, it’s fine, I didn’t like him anymore anyway. I found a cuter one at school today, the cutest one in three B »
« Well, bless my megabytes, that’s a quick clock cycle! »
« Bless my what? You talk weird... do you at least have a name? »
« If by “name” you mean what’s written on the box, I’d say I’m BoSMi »
« Box? BoSMi? Ok, it’s a joke. Anyway, that boy in three B, I tried to make him notice me as soon as I laid
eyes on him. You know, this morning I was wearing a pair of jeans, the nice-nice ones I bought at that shop downtown, and a really, really light sweater and pink blouse that... you know... let him catch a glimpse of... »
« Err... yes, but now I really ought to... »
« And do you know what shoes I was wearing? I mean, I really had to leave an impression, right? I was wearing those heeled boots that make you look leaner. Ok, so I walked up to him and I was like “Hey, haven’t we seen each other at recess?” »
« I should probably... » BoSMi tried to say.
« Yes, yes, I’m almost done. So, he caught a glimpse of my... my... you know, right? So, he caught a glimpse and he’s like “Maybe we’ve never seen each other because I often stay in class to talk to my friends, hi, I’m Alan”. Got it? Alan! Such a beautiful name, when he looked at me with those blue eyes, I almost fainted, and then Sonia, that dorky awful witch comes by... and it turns out she’s his girlfriend! Or better yet: she was! »
BoSMi’s electronic brain couldn’t take anymore.
« So he’s like “let’s play a game”, but I’m like “dude, take it easy”. So, he suggests I pretend to be an old friend of his to fool Sonya... »
BoSMi looked at Ricky, Tiberius and Kiki and implored them: « Please hang the MVP up! I beg of you. I don’t deserve to be tortured, even though I’m just a robotoy »
Ricky took the mobile video phone in his hands: « Martha, what do you think of this friend of mine, BoSMi? »
« Well... he seems nice enough. I don’t reckon he’s ugly, is he? »
« All right, all right. I just wanted to know whether you found him... wily, intelligent, I mean »
« How would I know? Intelligent? I’d have to compare him with someone to understand it »
Ricky gave his mobile video phone to Tiberius.
« Err... hey, Martha. How are you doing? »
« Tiberius, my dear. Is that you? I haven’t seen you in ages. I bet you’re real cute now, aren’t you? »
Tiberius blushed violently: « Err... sure, Martha. Bye, Martha. See you, Martha »
Then he handed the mobile video phone straight back to BoSMi.
« You silly! » whispered Martha Neumann, so as not be overheard. « Ah, it’s you again, BoSMi, dear. We got interrupted right at the best part. So, as I was saying, he suggested I pretend to be an old friend of his to fool Sonia. What would you have done if you were in my place, if you were a girl, I mean? »
BoSMi was worn out: « Nothing, I would have done nothing »
« Precisely! Which is exactly what I did! If I had played along I would have come off as submissive right from the start. You’re so cool, BoSMi. You got it straight away. You really are a smart guy (and let’s hope cute, too) »
Upon hearing Martha’s words, Ricky grabbed the mobile video phone and struggled a bit to cut the conversation off: « Ok. All right. Test passed. I’d say this proves BoSMi is an intelligent toy »
« Well Ricky, I wouldn’t exactly call that a scientific demonstration... anyway, we have two options here: either BoSMi is intelligent or your cousin could even traumatise a last century transistor portable radio! »
Kiki winked at Ricky.
Pucci was licking the underside of one of its paws.
« Hey, you three... and a half! » said BoSMi, slightly angry. « Now will you knock it off with these tests? »
« Ok, we’ll stop. But you have to tell us a bit about yourself, like where do you come from, who developed you, how many processors you’ve got, and so on »
« Wow, bless my megabytes! One question at the time. You haven’t been all that nice to me, anyway. I just wanted to video play, instead, you first threatened to reset me, then gave me a “Sleeptightin” pill and, to top it all off, you tortured me with your cousin Martha test. That’s no way no behave, is it? »
« But we were just a bit confused » answered Ricky.
« And we didn’t really believe you actually were intelligent » added Tiberius. « We thought you were just one of those artificial intelligences that only pretend to think. Anyway, going back to our questions, how many processors have you got in your central unit? »
« And how many neurons do you have in your brain? » answered BoSMi, biting its plastic nails.
« Neurons? How would I know?! » exclaimed Tiberius, stupefied. « I don’t think you can count them that easily, I mean... »
Ricky and Tiberius sat on two little yellow chairs. With an elegant leap, Pucci landed in Ricky’s lap.
« You really haven’t been very nice, being kids and all. Anyway... I’m a little hungry, my batteries are almost flat »
Kiki rushed out of the room and came back in less than a second with a handful of batteries she held out to BoSMi. She then stuck a finger in her mouth and jumped on Tiberius’s lap.
« Where did she get them? »
« She must have disassembled all the remotes and portable appliances of the house » whispered Tiberius.
« Hum, thanks my little one! » BoSMi examined the batteries. « Zinc-carbon... puah! They taste awful. Alkaline... it would be nutritious, if it weren’t flat. There are a couple of Nickel-metal-hydride but they’re too big: where am I gonna put them? Let’s see whether we can find anything good... now we’re talking! A sweet lithium accumulator. Yummy! A real delicacy »
« Will you look at how that robomouse is sucking on it? » asked Ricky in amazement, whilst Pucci too watched with curiosity as BoSMi sucked, one after the other, four accumulators dry.
« Awesome! » exclaimed Tiberius. « Never seen a faster self-charge »
BoSMi wiped its whiskers with its paw to clean them of two drops of shining energy, when a not very polite sound rose from its stomach, « Burp! » It quickly searched the box on the writing desk and took out a brown “Burpinol” pill, immediately slipping it into its mouth.
« Err... sorry. I really needed a digestive. But you three still haven’t introduced yourselves: what’s your product code? »
« We don’t have codes » explained Tiberius. « We have names and surnames: I’m Tiberius Bushnell. Hello robomouse! »
« Hi Tiberius » answered BoSMi. « Anyway, next time, try to have a good look at those pills before shoving them down my throat »
« Well, everything’s ok now, right? » was Tiberius’s answer.
« My name is Ricky Carroll. Nice to meet you, robomouse »
« My pleasure, boy. Try not to whack me so hard next time but, more importantly, never make me take that cousin test of yours again »
« All right » said Ricky, apologetic. « No hard feelings, ok? »
« Me name is Kiki Bucnell! » said the little girl, elated.
« See, I wouldn’t want the little girl to take offense » said BoSMi, a tad agitated. «But I’d feel more at ease if she didn’t come too close to me. And what’s the name and surname of that strange non-talking creature? »
« Oh, it’s not a strange creature: it’s a cat! And we just call it Pucci, no surname »
« You really are some confounded beings. No product code, always a name but not always a surname... well, the important thing is that you make it understand that during the game you shouldn’t jump on the robomouses and stick your claws in their backs »
« Got it, Pucci? » Ricky took the cat by its paws, lifted it and looked it straight in the eye. « From now on you keep your claws away. No rough play, got it?! ». Pucci whispered a soft meow, in a way that could almost be described as an assent.
« So, what now? » asked Tiberius, concerned. «Mum’ll be back soon and if she sees we’ve already opened the robotoy she’ll let us have it from now till Christmas »
« Well, we can’t put it back in the box » whispered Ricky. « We promised it. If we put it back in there, he’ll get mad for sure this time »
« You’re right, Ricky » confirmed Tiberius. « It’s an intelligent being, it would suffer inside a box »
« Hey you, code-less! Can I go stretch my wheels a bit? » BoSMi asked.
« Be my guest. In the meantime, Ricky and I will see to another problem. Stay in the room though, don’t go too far »
« All right, kids! » answered BoSMi, retreating a bit. He then made its little wheels spin so fast they skidded on the desk and then – wham – jumped on to the floor.
Pucci, however, who had been intently observing the scene, anticipated the robomouse, and was now standing on its four paws right in front of its mechatronic eyes.
Their gazes met.
After what seemed to be an eternal moment, the cat lifted a whisker and smiled in a friendly manner: « eh, eh, eh! »
BoSMi understood Pucci’s intentions right away and chuckled too « eh, eh, eh! »
It then bolted and plunged behind the desk. The cat immediately scampered after it, trying to seize it. The robomouse was lightning-fast though, and managed to whizz under Tiberius’s bed. The cat was on its tail though (literally...), and they both flew out from the opposite end of the bed. BoSMi came face to face with a wall, powerless to do anything but brake, spinning its tiny wheels in the opposite direction and skidding on the floor.
Pucci was instantly upon it and, having caught it by its tail, moved its paw up and... began to lovingly scratch it under its chin: « eh, eh, eh! » they both laughed, satisfied and content like two old friends.
« Cats sure aren’t what they used to be » commented Ricky. « You should take that Pucci to the psycho-vet »
« Hey Ricky, gimme a hand, I’ve got an idea » said Tiberius. « Help me pick up all these robotoy pieces scattered about on the floor. We’ll assemble them. There should also be a few robomouse chassis. Kiki, hand me the screwdriver »
« Me no schewdiver » lied the little girl.
« Don’t even try it » Tiberius made it out. « I’ve seen it in your pj’s pocket. How in the world do you get your hands on it every time? I always hide it so well! »
« Are these pieces ok? » Ricky asked, handing Tiberius a few little wheels and sensors.
« They’re perfect. I’ll just need a couple of minutes to assemble one that’ll pass for real. We’ll put it in its box and then we’ll return it to my mum’s trunk »
« And where are you going to hide that? » asked Ricky, pointing to the robomouse, that, in the meantime, was laughing hysterically because Pucci was tickling it under its little wheels.
« Tonight I’ll just hide it in my room. But what are we going to do tomorrow in the morning when we have to go to school? I can’t leave it at home, it’ll wander around the house and mum will notice for sure »
« Stick it in your backpack and take it to school: this way we’ll be able to keep an eye on it! » said Ricky.
« I’m not sure whether that’s such a good idea » commented Tiberius. « But I don’t think we have much choice. Hurry up, guys, we have to finish up before mum comes back »
Everybody worked relentlessly and in a few minutes the fake robomouse was completed: it wasn’t exactly beautiful, with those crooked eyes and unhinged ears, but it looked fine inside the box.
When it was done playing with Pucci, BoSMi received precise instructions not to make any noise nor let itself be seen: their mum just wouldn’t understand.
The robomouse, who was intelligent and rather wily too, agreed on almost everything.
It only complained about that night’s accommodation: « I’m ok with taking Kiki’s doll’s bed, but if you think I’m going to wear that pink ribbon, you can forget about it! »
-)zzz
Night fell. Kiki, now laid face-down, looked like the sweetest and most harmless little girl in the world: but only because she was asleep!
She was wrapped in a soft, pink quilt while on the floor laid a cheerful chaos of coloured puppets and toys.
In his room on the other side of the corridor, Tiberius was almost asleep.
« Tiberius »
« What? Who is it? » said Tiberius, half-asleep.
« Tiberius, it’s me. It’s BoSMi! » the snout of a robot mouse emerged from under the bed: « Were you asleep?»
« Yes. Until you woke me up » whispered the boy.
« I’m sorry, but I can’t sleep »
« Neither can I, BoSMi, not if you keep talking »
« I’m not used to it. The doll bed is comfy, but there’s so much space around it »
« What do you mean? »
« I mean, I’m used to sleeping in a box. I can’t see the end of all this space and I’m a little scared »
« I can put you back in the box, if you want me to!»
« Come on, don’t be silly or you’ll give me digi-nightmares »
The robomouse looked around slightly lost. It was the first time it slept in a real house.
« Tiberius »
« What?! »
« Would you please tell me a story? »
« A story? But I was asleep! »
« Come on, just one story and then I’ll go to sleep and won’t bother you again »
« Tell a robomouse a story to make it sleep? If my friends knew about this they’d think I’ve gone mad! All right, come on up. But be quiet, or you’ll wake everybody up »
BoSMi backed up a bit and, making the slightest noise, jumped on Tiberius’s bed.
Meanwhile, Tiberius had switched on a small lamp that illuminated his bed.
« What kind of story should I read to you? »
« How should I know? A nice one, with a happy ending » answered BoSMi, making itself comfortable amongst the folds of the quilt.
« Are Aesop’s fables ok with you? » said Tiberius, rummaging through the books on his bedside table.
« I don’t know any of Aesop’s fables. I know Haexop’s ones »
« Haexop? Such as? »
« Such as “The Robofox and the Lithium Accumulator”. Do you know it? »
« No » smiled Tiberius. « But I think I know where this is going. Go on, tell me! »
The robomouse started whispering:
« A robofox with flat batteries saw a lithium
accumulator which had just been recharged. It tried to
stick it in her battery slot, but the socket was different, it
wouldn’t connect: “Old technological rubbish. It would
have run out of power immediately anyway!”said the
robofox to itself, and off it went »
« Excellent! You’re very good at telling stories » Tiberius smiled.
« I know, but you were supposed to be the one telling me a story to make me go to sleep»
« You’re right, but tell me another one, come on... »
BoSMi agreed: « All right, all right. I’ll tell you just one more. I can’t remember anything about myself, but have tons of fables stored in my memory... let’s look in the files... here it is, you might like this one: “Digisnow and the Seven Robodwarfs” »
« Awesome! » exclaimed Tiberius, amused. « Do tell, do tell... »
« So... once upon a time... »
BoSMi had yet to begin the fable but Tiberius was already sound asleep.
That day’s excitement had clearly worn him out.
« Tiberius... Tiberius... Tibe! » whispered BoSMi. « Bah, he fell asleep. All right, then »
The robomouse bit on the quilt and covered Tiberius up, then moved towards the end of the bed, crouched down and closed its mechatronic eyes, satisfied.
How many clock cycles are you waiting for? Buy now your BoSMi robomouse…
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Interactive CD-ROM included Age: 6+
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... How can a toy robot seems so 'really smart? Why some shady characters are spying on three
unsuspecting children, using minuscole bug cameras? Find out by reading RoboToys Chapter 0x003
(Avalible for FREE on the web from 31 August!!!!)
RoboToys (c) 2011 Graziano.G. Ravizza