rights of parents, responsibilities to them, rewards from allah

8/13/2019 Rights of Parents, Responsibilities to Them, Rewards From Allah

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Rights of Parents, Responsibilities to Them, Rewards from Allah

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Punishment of disobeying or disrespecting of Parents

Parents are a blessing from Allah, the Exalted, but their presence is often taken for granted

and their rights, neglected especially when they grow old and become dependent on their

children. Talking harshly and rudely to parents and showing discomfort on their requests

have become a norm. Whereas Islam teaches obedience and kindness to parents, fulfilling

their right, preserving their honor and warns against neglecting the rights of parents. Allah

says: " fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (and do not cut of

the relations of) the wombs (kinship)" [Al-Quran, Chapter 4 Verse 1]

He, who fulfills the duties of his parents, has thus chosen a path to Paradise and he who

neglects his duties towards his parents is truly deprived from a great opportunity to enter

Paradise because obeying and honoring one's parents is a means of entering Paradise. Abu

Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-salaam) said: "May his nose be

rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust."

It was said, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "The person whose parents, one or both

of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise (by rendering due

services to them)." {(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [6510] 9 - (2551)}

Responsibilities towards Parents

If we really love our parents then we must follow what Allah said:

1. "... be dutiful and good to parents" (Al-Quran, Chap 2 Verse 83, Chap 6 Verse 151,

Chap 29 Verse 8, Chap 31 Verse 14, Chap 46 Verse 15),

2. Worship Allh and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents

3. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old agein your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but addressthem in terms of honor. (Al-Quran, Chapter 17, Verse 23)

, kinsfolk,

orphans, Al-Maskin (the poor), the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbour who

is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those

(slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allh does not like such as are proudand boastful; (Al-Quran, Chapter 4 Verse 36)

4. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy (Al-Quran, Chap 17, Verse 24)

5. "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents" (Al-Quran, Chap 2 Verse 215)

6. "Allah forbids disobedience of parents" (Al-Quran Chap 16 Verse 90)


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Rights of Parents

Narrated Abu Usayd Malik ibn Rabi'ah as-Sa'idi:

While we were with the Apostle of Allah! ( ) a man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said:

Apostle of Allah is there any kindness or Honor left that I can do to my parents after theirdeath? He replied: Yes,

You can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their finalinstructions (pledge) after their death, join ties of relationship which aredependent on them, and honor their friends.

[Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 5142 (Hasan)

Therefore, one of the things a person can do to honor them is to fulfill this will as long as it

complies with the Shari`ah (Islamic law). Other ways of honoring parents is to give in

Sadaqah (voluntary charity) on their behalf, make Du`a' (supplication) for them, and to

perform Hajj and Umrah (Lesser Pilgrimage) on their behalf. May Allah grant us success.

Pray to Almighty Allah for them by saying,

1. "Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the

reckoning will be established." (Al-Quran, chap 14, Verse 41)

2. "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."

(Al-Quran, Chap 17, Verse 24)

3. "My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents.. (Al-Quran Chap 71 Verse 28)

We should pray for our parents either alive or deceased because Allah's Messenger

Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: 'When a person is dead, his deeds cease (are

stopped) except three:

1. Deeds of continuous Sadaqah (act of charity)

2. Knowledge with which mankind gets benefit

3. A righteous, pious son (or daughter) who will pray for his or her (for the deceased)"

(Sahih Muslim, Book 13 Hadith No. 4005, or Darussalam Pub. No. 4223 or SahihMuslim Hadith No. 1631)

One should remember that he and all his wealth belong to his father, as in known

from the following Hadith.

It was narrated from Jiibir bin 'Abdulliih that a man said: "0 Messenger of Allah, I havewealth and a son, and my father wants to take all my wealth." He said: "You and

your wealth belong to your father." (Sahih) [Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2291, 2292]


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The most pleasant of what you eat is that out of what you earn; and your

children are from your earnings. [Sahih Bukhari Hadith No. 407, Abu Dawud, Hadith

No. 3528, Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1358, Nasai, Hadith No. 4450, Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2137]

Serving your parents will be substitute for fighting in Allahs cause:

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr: A man said to the Prophet, "Shall I participate in Jihad?" TheProphet said, "Are your parents living?" The man said, "Yes." the Prophet said, "Do Jihad fortheir benefit." [Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5972, or Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 3]

Duties of the Child towards his dead Parents

1) To avoid all means of saddening and displeasing one's parent is mandatory: It wasnarrated that 'Abdullah bin 'Amr said: "A man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace beupon him) and said: '0 Messenger of Allah, I have come seeking to go out in Jihad with you,

seeking thereby the Face of Allah and the Hereafter. I have come even though my parentsare weeping.' He said: 'Go back to them and make them smile as you have made themweep.'" (Hasan) [Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2782]. So, the expiation of disturbing parentsis doing the deeds that please them.

2) Making up their obligatory fasts: Aa'isha (radhi allahu anha) narrated that the Messengerof Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Whoever dies and had any fasts outstanding, hisheir should observe those fasts on his behalf." [Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1147]

A woman came to Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asking: "My mother hasdied and she had one month's fasting outstanding." He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said, "Do

you not think that if she was in debt, you would pay it off for her?" She said, "Yes" He(sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The debt owed to Allah is more deserving of being paidoff." {Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [2693] 154 - (1148)}

3) Fulfilling their vows of worship and Paying off their debts: It was reported from Ibn Abbas(radhi allahu anhu) that a woman from Juhaynah came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and said: "My mother vowed to go for Hajj, but she did not go for Hajj before shedied. Should I do Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, do Hajj on her behalf. Do you not thinkthat if your mother was in debt you would pay it off for her? Pay off the debt that is owed toAllah, for Allah is more deserving that what is owed to Him should be paid off." [SahihBukhari, Hadith No. 1852 or USC-MSA web (English), Vol. 3, Book 29, Hadith 77]

4) Maintaining ties with those whom they used to keep in touch with from relatives andfriends. Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The best of righteous deeds isfor a man to keep in touch with his father's friends after he dies." (Sahih Muslim, Hadith No.[6513] 11 (2552) or Among the most dutiful of deeds is that a man nurture relations withthe people his father was friends with (Sahih) (Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1903)

5) Being dutiful to the Maternal Aunt: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, The maternalaunt holds the same status as the mother (Sahih). Another chain from Ibn Umar, that aman came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, O messenger of Allah (peace beupon him)! I was afflicted by a tremendous sin. Is there any repentance for me? He said:

Do you have mother? He said: No. He said: Do you have any maternal aunts? He said:Yes. He said: Then be dutiful to them (Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1904)


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The Biggest of the Great Sins:

Narrated Abu Bakra (RA): Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him) said, "Shall I inform you ofthe biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said,

"To join partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents"

(Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 290 or Sahih Bukhari No. 6273 & 5976)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about the great sins He ( ) said, "They are:

(1) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2)To be undutiful to one's parents.

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime ofmurdering).

(4) And to give a false witness"

(Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 821 or Sahih Bukhari No. 2653)

The Deeds are the Best:

Narrated Ibn Masu'd: A man asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): "Whatdeeds are the best?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) said;

(1) To perform the (daily compulsory) Salat (prayers) at their (early) stated fixed times;(2) To be good and dutiful to one's own parents(3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause."

(Sahih AI-Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 10, Number 505 or Sahih Bukhari No. 527, Sahih BukhariVol. 9, Hadith No.625 or Sahih Bukhari No. 7534, Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1898)

Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by us:

Narrated Abu Huraira (RA):

A man came to Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him):and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who ismore entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Yourmother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man furthersaid, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time,"Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."

(Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 3658, Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6180)


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Rewards from Allah

The Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be upon on him) said: "Whoever pleases his

parents had indeed pleased Allah, and who ever angered his parents had indeed angeredAllah" [Bukhari] [Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1899 (Hasan)]

Narrated from Abu Ad-Darda, The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saying:

The father is the middle gate to paradise. So, if you wish, then neglect that door or protectit. (Hasan) (Tirmidhi hadith No. 1900, Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 3663)

It was narrated from Muawiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophetand said: "O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come toask your advice." He said: "Do you have a mother?" He said: "Yes." He said: "Thenstay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet." (Sahih)

(Sunan An-Nasai, The Book of Jihad Hadith No. 3106)(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2781)

So how about your gate? Your parents if they are alive take care of them even if they are notMuslims Allah said you should take care of them and obey them except when they order youto disobey Allah if they did just keep your silence calmly and make duaa for them that Allahguide them in sha Allah.

This is the time to renew your relation with Allah by taking care of your parents to pleaseAllah even if they were not pleasing you for any reason; remember you have to please themfor the sake of Allah. So give them love care and good company.

Punishment of Allah

It was narrated from Salim bin 'Abdullah that his father said: "The Messenger of Allah (peacebe upon him) said:

'There are three at whom Allah will not look on the Day of Resurrection: The one whodisobeys his parents, the woman who imitates men in her outward appearance, and thecuckold. And there are three who will not enter Paradise: The one who disobeys his parents

,the drunkard, and the one who reminds people of what he has given them. '" (Hasan)(Sunan An-Nasai, Hadith No. 2563)

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: "May his nose berubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust."It was said, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "The person whose parents, one or bothof them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise (by rendering dueservices to them)." {(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [6510] 9 - (2551)}


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Conclusion

1. Obedience to parents, serving and caring for them in their old age is obligatory on

the child, just as the parents brought him up with love and care in his childhood,irrespective of whether the parents are believers or unbeliever.

Important lessons:

2. Disobeying and neglecting the right of parents is incurring the Wrath of Allah anduttering words of disrespect to them is a major sin.

3. The child should prefer the pleasure of his parents over his own pleasure and thepleasure of his wife, children and all people except the Prophet

4. The child should obey his or her parents in all what they order him or her to do ornot to do, even when what they demand is not suitable in their children's opinion,unless they command to disobey Allah, the Exalted

5. The child should willingly and with a good heart grant his parents what he thinks theylike or prefer even before they ask for it, all the while feeling and admitting that he

has not reached perfection in fulfilling the tremendous rights on him

We should remember that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Threesupplications are accepted, there is no doubt in them (about them being accepted): Thesupplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of thefather against his son. (Hasan) [Jami At-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1905] So, if obedience andkindness to our parents only brings their invoking Allah, it will be worthy and sufficient ofdirecting us to eternal happiness, Insha'Allah.

The above is only a reminder and advice to all those who possess wisdom and soundcomprehension to realize the blessing of having parents, people who for years attended toyour needs, hunger, thirst, illness, happiness, comfort and pleasure. When they reach oldage and depend upon you, it is your duty to attend to their needs and pleasure and comfortthem. "The Lord is pleased with the pleasing of the parents, and the Lord is angry with himwho angers the parents." [Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1899 (Hasan)]

So, take advantage of the opportunity to serve your parents before it is too late when youlook at the chair that your mother or father used to recline in or the bed they used to sleepon but do not see them nor hear their affectionate voices.

Let us pray to Almighty Allah that He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to ourparents, and that we continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position,wealth, and influence we may possess.

Let us also pray that we be patient, kind, thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as weguide them through their lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them asrequired by our religion, so that Allah may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and rewardus, both in this world and in the Hereafter; Ameen.

We ask Allah to guide all Muslims to that which pleases Him, to grant them good

understanding of religion, to help them remain dutiful to their parents and keep good

relations with their relatives, protect them from being disrespectful of them and from

severing ties of relationship with their relatives and to keep them away from everything that

incurs His displeasure and prevents His mercy. Allah Alone is One Who is capable of doingthis.

rights of parents, responsibilities to them, rewards from allah

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