RESOCIALIZATION: MAKING THE CHOICE

TO SURRENDER FROM VICTIMHOOD TO SPIRITUAL

DISCOVERY

De La Tours. Mary Magdalene

Development of The Self1. Natural Self

EMPOWERMENT CONNECTION

TRUST

SAFETY

• The powerful social fragmentation resulting from the drug crisis of the 80’s and its sequelae along with the international financial collapse of the 90’s has created a serious dissocialization process characterized by burgeoning murder rates, violent crime, domestic violence, pervasive anger, family and community disintegration lack of civility and youth gangs. This has Traumatized all of us creating ripples of Shame / Hurt throughout society

SHAME

FEAR / ANGER

REJECTIONHUMILIATION

ABANDONMENT

CONTROL(Inward Immigration)

SELF-GRATIFICATION(Addictive Tendences)

SELF ABSORBTION

Self Hatred Aimed at ME

Shame False Self (Victim)

Shame Self

Principles of Shame • Shame is a hidden epidemic. Ignore it, it gets

worse, Don’t talk about it, it grows. Talk about it dwindles it

• Disconnection (Blaming, Judging, labeling) is the source and result of shame. Disconnection from ourselves occurs when other people and messages overwhelm us and make us what they want us to be. (Because we fear how we are)

• Disconnection self Lose Authenticity i.e. Hide our true self and feel unworthy of connection.

• Shame begets shame• Shame converts authenticity to inauthenticity• Shame is invisible and intractable but we can

develop shame resilience• shame is a spectrum leading into the

possibility of shame resilience

S - Silence, Secrecy, Self Absorbed, Sensitive, Self Hatred, Self Sabotage, Suicide

H - Hurt, Hidden, Humiliation

A - Abandonment, Anxiety, Anger, Alienation (Loneliness) Addiction, Alexithymia

M- Masochistic (behavior) e.g. Abuse, Failure, Depreciation of Self, Mortification

E - Lack of Empathy, Emptiness (learned Helplessness), Depression

SYMPTOMS OF SHAMEExpectation Actual LifeSHAME GAP

‘I Against I’ by John Cox(Shame)

‘Mother & Daughter’ by Vuillard(Victimization)

RESOCIALIZATION: (Discovery of the TRUE Self in Love i.e. The GRACIOUS Self)

Understanding(Humility, Gratitude)

Empathic Connection(Forgiveness, Revenge

Elimination)

Community Outreach(Solitude, Anger Management,

Contentment)

LOVE / COMPASSION

DISSOCIALIZATION: (Victimhood)

Dissocialization is a process creating persons (victims) handicapped by Fear, Shame , Hurt and Anger with a diminished view of the Self , Life and the World.RESOCIALIZATION: (Discovery)

Resocialization is the Discovery of an inner Empathic Vision of the Self, Life and the World, Characterized by Love, Compassion, Gratitude and Forgiveness.

DISOCIALIZATION – VICTIMTHANATOS - DEATH

RESOCIALIZATION – DISCOVERYEROS - LOVE

FEAR LOVESHAME COURAGEDISCORD CONNECTIONBLAME ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITYCOMPLAINT AS AN END IN IT SELF CONCERN AS A MEANS TO HELPDESTRUCTIVE ANGER CONSTURCTIVE ANGERACTION THEN DIALOGUE DIALOGUE THEN ACTIONREACTION PROACTIVE RESPONSEMULTIPLE CHANGES AS A DEFENSE AGAINST TRANSITION

APPROPRIATE CHANGE AND MEANINGFUL TRANSITION

TAKES THINGS FOR GRANTED GRATITUDEARROGANCE AND CONTROL HUMILITYRECONSTRUCTION OF REALITY – PROJECTIVE IDENTIFCATION i.e. IMPOSES INTERNALIZED DYNAMICS ON EXTERNAL REALITY PREVENTING SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE

UNABASHED COMMITMENT TO FACE REALITY AS IT IS

DISOCIALIZATION – VICTIMTHANATOS - DEATH

RESOCIALIZATION – DISCOVERYEROS - LOVE

COMPARISON / COMPETITION COMPASSIONPERFORMANCE PARTICIPATIONLONLINESS SOLITUDEREVENGE INTENTION OF FORGIVENESSGENESIS OF CONFLICT PEACE MAKERQUICK TO SPEAK, DIFFICULTY LISTENING SLOW TO SPEAK, LISTENS WELLNOISE IN HEART, NO SPACE FOR THE PAIN OF OTHERS

SPACE OF SILENCE IN HEAR – TO CONTAIN THE PAIN OF OTHERS

“RACE” STILLNESS – “BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD” Ps. 46:10ACCEPTS DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE – “I AM THE RESURRECTOR AND LIFE. HE THAT BELIVES IN ME SHALL NEVER DIE AND HE THAT DIES AND BELIVES IN ME SHALL LIVE AGAIN ABSENT FROM THE BODY

TEND TO ADDICTION FREEDOM

SURRENDER1. CHECK STATE OF HEART2. ACCEPT ABILITY TO SHIFT3. TAKE TIME OUT4. DEEP BREATHING WITH EYES CLOSED PRODUCES BRAIN WAVES WHICH RELAXES THE BODY

5. SILENCE6. SOURCE OF LOVE SIMPLE PRAYER – SCRIPTURE OR INSPIRATIONAL STATEMENTS – BRAIN WORKS BY SUBSTITUTION

7. STREAM OF LOVE REFLECT ON SOMEONE WHO LOVED YOU UNCONDITIONALY AS A CHILD

8. SPACE OF LOVE (THIN SPACE – HEAVEN & EARTH) PLACE OF LOVE, PEACE & BEAUTY

9. GRATITUDE – WRITE DOWN 3 THINGS FOR WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL 10. YOU WILL FEEL RELAXED AND OPEN TO LOVE